The Guild (2007) s01e03 Episode Script
The Macro Problem
I guess I just don't cope well with anything.
I mean, there's always a lot of drama in the game, but at the end of the night, you can always just log off.
You can't log off of your own life.
Oh.
I mean, you can't But not You know Not like that! I didn't mean that.
Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Guys? I found Zaboo.
Yay.
What? What? Where is he? In my bathroom.
Pooing, evidently.
Oh.
I hate poo.
He's there? Visiting you? You slut.
No! No! It's not like that at all.
It's just Hey, everybody! It's Zaboo.
I'm at Codex's.
We're networking our computers together.
Network'd.
How romantic.
It's good you're here, Zaboo.
Something horrible has just happened in the Guild.
Tell them, Bladezz.
Yeah, I've got a real LOL situation.
I just got a 24 hour ban.
What? What did you do, Bladezz? I was at the Trading House, and I might have yelled "FAG" a few thousand times.
I made a macro.
Hey, that is not cool.
My dad turned gay.
And her ex-boyfriend, too.
Clara! Wow.
Codex: Slayer of Masculinity.
Oh, I'll never be gay.
So Bladezz! Our Guild has an untarnished reputation.
The Knights of Good stand for good and all things related to good.
As a founding member of this Guild, how are you proposing to rectify this? Bladezz? Bladezz? Repeat.
You either bored him to death or he logged off.
Oh! He logged off! Can I fucking attack now? No, you cannot! Guild business always gets sidetracked by killing and looting! This is serious.
Hey, it's your DMV photo.
I downloaded it.
Photoshopp'd.
Hey, guys? Why don't we meet in person to talk about it? Physically? In person? Well, um, Zaboo's here, and I'm not sure exactly what to do with him.
Besides, we're a local Guild.
It'll be easy to meet.
I mean, why haven't we met before? Well, I guess because we've played too many computer games, but, um We could all use some time away from keyboard.
Clara, when is the last time you went out with someone over the age of four? Like, before I started breeding.
Ooh, let's do brunch.
I love pancakes! But we need a course of action to deal with Bladezz and his behavior problems.
But it'll be more distracting seeing each other.
And also, I don't wanna.
You could draft us an agenda.
I do have an appropriate Word template.
Tink? No way.
I like you guys the way you are.
Cartoon characters who let me feel a sense of achievement in an imaginary world.
Fifty in-game gold.
I'm in.
So when? Next weekend? Next? No! Let's meet tomorrow.
No need to delay forming a socially approved support system.
That was creepy.
Somewhere with a low price point.
I didn't budget for social activities this month.
The Guild's gonna meet? Awesome! Oh, dear God, no.
You like my helm? It's plus five to sexterity.
Get it? It's like "dexterity," but "sex" in the front.
Like a prefix.
I'm kind of a linguist.
Oh, no! I forgot to pack my robe.
I forgot it, so Guess we'll have to make due.
Without the robe.
I mean, there's always a lot of drama in the game, but at the end of the night, you can always just log off.
You can't log off of your own life.
Oh.
I mean, you can't But not You know Not like that! I didn't mean that.
Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Hey, guys? Guys? I found Zaboo.
Yay.
What? What? Where is he? In my bathroom.
Pooing, evidently.
Oh.
I hate poo.
He's there? Visiting you? You slut.
No! No! It's not like that at all.
It's just Hey, everybody! It's Zaboo.
I'm at Codex's.
We're networking our computers together.
Network'd.
How romantic.
It's good you're here, Zaboo.
Something horrible has just happened in the Guild.
Tell them, Bladezz.
Yeah, I've got a real LOL situation.
I just got a 24 hour ban.
What? What did you do, Bladezz? I was at the Trading House, and I might have yelled "FAG" a few thousand times.
I made a macro.
Hey, that is not cool.
My dad turned gay.
And her ex-boyfriend, too.
Clara! Wow.
Codex: Slayer of Masculinity.
Oh, I'll never be gay.
So Bladezz! Our Guild has an untarnished reputation.
The Knights of Good stand for good and all things related to good.
As a founding member of this Guild, how are you proposing to rectify this? Bladezz? Bladezz? Repeat.
You either bored him to death or he logged off.
Oh! He logged off! Can I fucking attack now? No, you cannot! Guild business always gets sidetracked by killing and looting! This is serious.
Hey, it's your DMV photo.
I downloaded it.
Photoshopp'd.
Hey, guys? Why don't we meet in person to talk about it? Physically? In person? Well, um, Zaboo's here, and I'm not sure exactly what to do with him.
Besides, we're a local Guild.
It'll be easy to meet.
I mean, why haven't we met before? Well, I guess because we've played too many computer games, but, um We could all use some time away from keyboard.
Clara, when is the last time you went out with someone over the age of four? Like, before I started breeding.
Ooh, let's do brunch.
I love pancakes! But we need a course of action to deal with Bladezz and his behavior problems.
But it'll be more distracting seeing each other.
And also, I don't wanna.
You could draft us an agenda.
I do have an appropriate Word template.
Tink? No way.
I like you guys the way you are.
Cartoon characters who let me feel a sense of achievement in an imaginary world.
Fifty in-game gold.
I'm in.
So when? Next weekend? Next? No! Let's meet tomorrow.
No need to delay forming a socially approved support system.
That was creepy.
Somewhere with a low price point.
I didn't budget for social activities this month.
The Guild's gonna meet? Awesome! Oh, dear God, no.
You like my helm? It's plus five to sexterity.
Get it? It's like "dexterity," but "sex" in the front.
Like a prefix.
I'm kind of a linguist.
Oh, no! I forgot to pack my robe.
I forgot it, so Guess we'll have to make due.
Without the robe.