The Life and Movies of Erşan Kuneri (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1 A NETFLIX SERIES Erşan, you made a horror movie, but everyone laughed.
Horror movie? Did they laugh? You know why? Because laughter is the best medicine for fear.
Did you win an award? You know, when the movie is over, and there's that smack, smack, smacking sound from the audience? That's the greatest award for us.
- Yes, the applause.
- Smack, smack, smack.
- Okay.
- That's our reward.
The applause.
Dancing with fire! And, turn! Society is pressuring you.
Society hits you hard.
Hard, hard, hard-hitting.
You blossom like a flower.
And - Well done, Feride.
- You're doing great, Feride.
You're taking no prisoners.
Really.
One cannot help but wonder how much you have bottled up inside.
Weird.
No.
It's all about your philosophy.
You give it all you've got.
- Right, Coach? - Yes.
Girls, shall we do the blossoming of that young girl again? - Go back again.
Society.
- Okay.
Yes.
Listen to what society says.
Ignore it.
No! And you're an individual.
An individual.
That's it.
Hello, everyone.
- Welcome, love.
- Alev, welcome.
- Go get changed and we'll get to it.
- Oh.
When you said "dance," I dressed up a little.
Alev, dear, are you going to a henna party? Fuck you.
Dancing with Fire isn't just a dance movie, Alev.
It has many messages.
I'm telling the story of the little people.
Think of Seda, that young girl.
Erşan, there's also this.
Look.
Yes, and inwards.
The young girl turns to her inner self.
She's turned.
She becomes an individual and blossoms! And the pressure again.
Pressure.
She doesn't care at all.
See? And she's free from pressure.
Coach, there was this The listening part? - No, Coach! The generational conflict! - Do it! Take it in.
Fight back! And you are an individual.
- Are you guys on drugs? - No.
A young girl's first steps into womanhood? That's crazy.
What I had in mind was this.
Like that.
Alev, can we look beyond tradition, please? I brought some traditional food.
Let's not serve it, then.
- Please.
- Let's continue.
Let's do the enslaved society.
We're slaves.
We're looking down.
It's coming.
It came.
We're individuals! - An individual! This.
- What about the scream? Scream! A prayer.
That's when I throw the fabric.
Where are Altın and Tumtum? I'm an individual again.
I'm leaving.
Here we go.
- Want a smoke? - No.
- Go on.
- Stop asking.
All right.
What the heck are we doing? - Why a horror movie, why dance? - Don't be ridiculous, man.
Bro, I can't dance when people are starving.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah? - Are you hungry? - Yes, I'm starving.
See? Erşan doesn't care.
I was about to tell you.
I got an offer from Kenan Films.
Me, Halil Ergün, Tarık Akan.
Are you serious? - In that order? - No.
I mean, Tarık, Halil, then me.
- Still good.
- Yeah.
It's a movie about social problems.
The unions, workers' rights and so on.
A bit about an inner journey too.
- Will they shoot it in Istanbul? - Yes.
Yeah, I mean, if there's an inner journey, it makes sense for it to be here.
Yes.
If I had to to choose between Dancing with Fire and this movie, I'd pick this one, but I gave my word.
- Tumtum? - Yeah? - I'll be honest with you.
- Go ahead.
I have a very special script for a movie called Fahri the Teacher.
It's about social problems.
If you're in, then let's do it.
How much am I gonna get? It's not about the money.
It's a movie about issues.
So the issue is the money I'm gonna get, right? No.
- Let's grab a beer.
- While people are starving? We'll talk this over, comrade.
Don't call me "comrade" in public.
What are you afraid of, huh? What are you afraid of? I need 38 meters of fabric, Mami.
We're gonna throw it up and get under it.
And I have a surprise for you.
Towards the end, Ateş will be naked and dancing.
- Stark naked? - Liberated.
What do you mean? He means stark naked.
Up until now, we've only seen him with undies.
This will be the first time we'll see him without, right? Muammer, in this movie, the Seda character learns about herself and how to question society.
All through dance.
- I'll have clothes on, right? - Of course.
Come in.
- Hi.
- Where were you? Well, Dancing with Fire.
What about it? We're not comfortable with it.
We've thought about it.
What we want is a socialist story, like We'd like to spread our wings and fly.
- What wings? - Altın has a great script.
With the help of our friends, we want to shoot Fahri the Teacher.
With your own wings? We'd like to ask for 14,500 liras from you, if it's no trouble.
14,500 liras? So 7,250 per wing.
- What? - What "what"? Payro, stop it.
He liked you.
He'll give you a role.
Hey, is that "praying to the gods"? Yes, sir.
You're doing great.
- You'll be playing Buğra.
- Thanks.
What's the 14,500 for? - To shoot the movie.
- So you're gonna shoot us to shoot it? Muammer.
This dance movie, are you comfortable with it? Tell me.
How could I be? The guy's asking for 38 meters of silk.
How much will your movie cost? No comrade is paid.
It's collective.
And if we spend 50, that makes 14,550.
The setting is a village.
A village.
 Affordable.
The movie is about a reckoning.
- With the filthy system.
- Why? Any explosions or collisions? - Only a social explosion.
- And collisions between classes.
I was asking if you needed any stuntmen or stuff like that.
Wait a minute.
- Kemal the Teacher, huh? - It's Fahri.
Tell you what.
You'll pay a heavy price for underestimating dance.
Now, fuck off! Erşan.
We'll tell this story when we're accepting the award.
- You'll win an award? - We will.
You'll win shit! I'll give the roles of Berkun and Oytun to someone else.
- Fuck off! - Your movie has no relevance! - Is that so? - Yes.
You'll learn your lesson.
Berkun and Oytun, pfft! We don't make movies for the Berkuns and the Oytuns.
We'll shoot it for the Alis, the Velis, the Ayşes, and the Fatmas! You do that! Get out of my office! They ditched me.
They'll take a beating at the premiere.
Good.
A brand-new project.
Fahri the Teacher.
Award material.
Who's in it? In no particular order, you, me, Tumtum, Seyyal, if she'd like to, and Tarık Akan and Halil Ergün.
Stop bullshitting.
I have to if I want to convince you.
It's a movie about labor.
"Masters and good sirs.
" See? It's set in a village.
Read it.
I'll read it, sure.
Tell me about the award thing.
This movie touches on the raw issues.
What's with the bağlama? We're using it for the soundtrack.
It's a novelty.
And we have someone to play it.
I mean, I don't want to hype it up, but think of him like Aşık Veysel or Karacaoğlan.
I'm not sure Karacaoğlan does soundtracks.
You guys talked to him, right? I'll be playing the idealistic teacher.
I'm a young revolutionary in the village.
- In love with me? - No.
Then who? Hello.
- Seyyal's in the movie too? - Welcome.
Don't worry.
If she wins an award, it'll be for best supporting actress.
You'll get the best actress award.
I'll be a villager, right? Tell me the truth, are we all villagers? - No, we're not.
- No.
Seyyal will play a journalist.
Oh, she's a city girl.
No awards then.
Hey, shush.
What? Wasn't I a villager too? Why am I a journalist? - Whatever.
What are we having? Whiskey? - No.
We're drinking tea.
She hasn't got it.
She can't play that.
But I'd be a great villager, huh? "Oi, papa!" But don't do it like a man.
Oh.
"Yes, brother!" - That's better.
- Right? - We'll practice.
- Indeed.
What are you doing, İbrahim? I'm sitting.
Look at that bastard.
He's doing it just right.
He'll win an award too.
Supporting actor.
I'll change your "father" lines to "pops.
" Then we can go ahead with the read-through.
Thank you, my dear.
- Are there many? - About ten minutes.
I meant the pops.
Are there many? - No.
- Is she playing a villager too? Why do you make a journalist say "pops"? Tell the truth.
She should know the culture.
That's why.
It adds some flavor.
All right, man.
I'm not gonna argue about this.
All right! Bye! They have Alev and Seyyal on board.
They don't want to do a dance movie.
Supposedly, their movie is "sensitive.
" Payro, where did we go wrong? - Do you think our movie isn't sensitive? - It's not that.
It is sensitive.
I've been asking around.
I guess they're gunning for awards.
- Which award? - Maybe the Orange.
Fahri the Teacher.
It's obvious they're making a tearjerker.
How did we miss this? Erşan, I'm begging you, don't do this.
Keep your feet on the ground.
Let's pull ourselves together.
What orange are you talking about? Why? Aren't we also filmmakers? You've appeared in 20 movies in your underwear.
It's not even five months since you started wearing pants.
You wanted horror, you got it.
You wanted swords, okay.
I tell you to add a little sex, but you don't want that either.
For God's sake, come down from the clouds.
Look, if you're gonna persist with this, we need to have a serious talk.
Because right now, the bar's running just for you.
Is that what you think? You assholes.
Yeah, that's it.
That'd make a great movie! - What movie? - You Assholes! I'm getting both comedic and erotic vibes from this movie.
We need to find someone to play alongside you.
How about you? No, I'm too old for that.
- You don't think we can win an award, huh? - But you're not doing it! You're always after some attribution or meaning.
Besides, what do you care? If it wasn't for us, there'd be no Dry Murad either.
Come on.
Drop it, for heaven's sake.
We haven't had the chance to work together, but I like your style.
I won't just play Buğra, I'll make him come alive.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, right.
Why do you care if they win awards or make some tearjerker? Just fuck it.
Let's mind our business.
Erşan, my boy.
Look, I don't have much time left.
Please don't upset me.
Why do you see it that way? I can imagine you walking the red carpet in Adana, Antalya, or even Cannes.
Cannes? Monsieur, festival? The festival is over, sir.
- Over? - Yes.
Fuck it! You're right.
We'll start working on my new story.
My name is Erşan Kuneri.
I'm not a pornographer.
I will make the best socialist movie.
It'll be in the style of a village play.
It's called Cooperative Kemal.
It'll smell like the earth.
My movie will smell like Anatolia.
Anatolia? You've never even been to Kadıkoy! If I drop you in Bostancı, you'd get lost! Anatolia? - You think so? - I believe in him.
Dance is good, but Anatolia is much better, I think.
Tell me, dance or Anatolia? Anatolia! But the script should be very subtle.
Not too crude.
- It should be new.
- It should be very real.
Don't mind them.
Start planning your outfit for the Golden Oranges.
Erşan, listen.
If you win a Golden Orange, I will attend the ceremony in my underwear, okay? Okay, dear.
In your underwear.
Mr.
Erşan, this is our village.
Very good.
Incredible.
Wonderful village.
This reminds me of Karacaoğlan.
You know how Karacaoğlan saw nature and humans as equals? Right.
To me, it's more like Balzac.
- Balzac? - Balzac, if you can stomach him.
He has a saying, you know.
"You are what you eat.
" This is a perfect village.
Excuse me.
I'm Erşan Kuneri.
We'll be making a movie in your village.
We want to represent your village well.
What do you need the most for your village? Empathy.
Empathy? Empathy, huh? - Awesome, take a note of that.
- Okay.
We must emphasize empathy.
Bring it.
Comrades, tea? - Yes! - Yes! I heard you.
Let's get some too.
- Last one.
- Give me another one.
- Comrade.
- Comrades.
Give tea to our comrades.
Go on.
- I want a cup of tea too.
- How many cups of tea? - 270.
- No fucking God give me patience, please.
Hey, listen.
Tell them to leave at 7 p.
m.
Tell them that the band is coming in.
- Okay.
- I need to get out or I'll lose it.
Okay.
Altın, do you want me to slap him after the line or before? What was your line? "It is not I who slaps you, but my people!" Slap him when you're saying "my people," and I'll open up from there.
Okay.
It is not I who slaps you, but my people! İbrahim Comrade.
I want to see the class distinction in this slap.
What you should do is İsa, pour me a double whiskey without tea.
Yeah, I want that too.
Do you think we can actually win an award? I don't know.
Here goes nothing.
If I win an award, I'll dedicate it to all women.
I'll include you too.
Okay.
It's possible.
You're a great villager, by the way.
Asshole.
Going great, huh? Do you think we were too harsh with Erşan? I can't stop thinking about him.
We've been through this.
The choice is between dance and Anatolia.
He's a sweetheart.
There isn't a day that I don't think of him.
Besides, both dance and Anatolia can go hand in hand.
Erşan would never be upset with us.
He'll be proud of us, you'll see.
Okay? Come, earth mother.
Come on! It's done.
And it's great.
- Oh dear! Finally! - Shall we have some cognac? Yes.
- Are you tired? - Kind of.
Erşan, you amaze me.
You're so driven.
You give everything you've got.
That is really precious.
I always have something to say.
There's always something in here.
Why did you make all those sex movies? Do you ever regret it? In 1965, I won second place in the Young Kings of Moving Pictures.
- Really? - Yeah.
My first movie, You're My Everything, was in 1965.
I was very cool then.
Wonderful.
I even had rules of my own.
No kissing, no nothing.
Then they shut me out.
For seven or eight years, no one gave me a job.
- What did you do then? - Pumping.
At a gas station.
I did some DJ stuff, then music production.
So after almost ten years, you came back.
As a pumper again.
My first movie was The Pumping Guy.
But I never took my underwear off.
They weren't bad movies.
They were funny.
We made a lot of money.
But money never won me over.
So, are you expecting an award? Tell me the truth.
They'll never give me one.
I don't think they will.
But? I just want to be remembered.
It's late.
I should be going.
Would you like me to drive you home? Sure.
How many women have you told that joke to? I don't tell jokes to women, baby.
I never tell jokes to women.
Really? Do you know what I do to women? Eryetiş, don't stop me! Let go of me, Eryetiş! - Let go of me! - What's going on? - What happened? - Anarchists.
After 400 cups of tea, Muammer wanted to close the tab.
Then a fight broke out.
- They called me a comprador! - Did you do such a thing? I don't even know what it means! They smashed the bağlama on his head.
Take him to the pharmacist to have it bandaged.
- For God's sake.
- Troublemakers! Let go of me! Friends, comrades.
- This is not cool.
- Friends! - Erşan.
- Comrades! - You'll have your teas! - Sit.
Comrades! My working brothers! Chill! What is it that you can't share? You don't know what sharing is, sir! If you're here to use big words, save your breath! We will not bow to the boss's tyranny! Right, friends? We won't! Man, Altın! You were gonna make a socialist movie because you didn't want a dance movie.
Where did you end up? - Alev.
- Don't ask me anything.
He's trying to get under your skin! Don't listen to him! - Instigator! - What? - Instigator! - Man! You've had 400 cups of tea and 60 bagels! What the hell? Erşan, nobody wants to pay for their tea.
I'm really disappointed.
Forgive me, man.
Have a seat, man.
Have a seat.
Friends! Are we all for rights and labor? We are! Who hit Muammer? - Me.
- Come here.
It is not I who slaps you, but my people! - Unacceptable! We're leaving! - Guys, please! - Please.
- Stay.
- Friends! - Comrades! Comrade Medet, you alone had 21 bagels, dammit! Come on! I can't perform when you're counting every single bite of bagel! That's twenty-two, comrade! Twenty-two! Comrade Candaş, please stay, at least.
Good job.
- They're gone.
- Of course.
You're making a socialist movie, yet you don't know the people.
So much for winning an award.
Fuck your mustaches! - Comrade Alev.
- Fuck off! You cast a sex movie star to play a villager mother.
Who'd use us for a socialist movie? I would! I would have you, dammit! Aren't you guys my comrades? And I was going to make a dance movie.
What a joke! Oh, sweetheart.
You can be my comrade.
I will! This is our new project.
Cooperative Kemal.
It's great.
We didn't just write this at home.
We went on-site to observe.
We want to tell the story of the common people.
- Did Feride spend the night at your place? - Alev, please.
Erşan, can you forgive us? How can I not, man? Give me a hug.
Altın, well done.
I read Fahri the Teacher.
Feride and I made some changes.
Alev, will you star in this movie? - Am I a villager woman again? - No.
- Good.
- Seyyal? I will.
- What do you say, Tumtum? - Please, count me in.
Altın, would you get rid of that mustache for this movie? And it's gone.
Oh, you guys! Come here, girl! You villager.
Erşan, are they gone? Comprador, how are you? I'll be in the new movie too, right? Of course.
Eryetiş! Bring us tea! We'll pay with our own money.
Erşan.
Dancing with Fire.
The Buğra character is ready.
Wow, amazing.
The character's got some balls.
Keep them centered so you don't get a headache.
Forget Dancing with Fire.
We're going to the village.
And from the village to Cannes.
Cannes, here we come! Really? Mukhtar! COOPERATIVE KEMAL Come here.
Stop yelling just because it's a village movie! Get lost! And stop that music! Hello, gentlemen.
- Hello.
- Welcome.
Thanks.
Hello, friends.
Welcome to our village, Avallar.
Now I'll tell you a story that took place in our village.
Frankly, the story starts with Teacher Kemal arriving in our village.
Before he came here, we were a quiet and simple village.
I mean, there was nothing happening that was worth telling.
Thanks to God, we had electricity, we had black and white TV, our land was rich, our crops were plentiful, and everything was fine.
- Am I right, gentlemen? - Yeah.
See? Don't look down on villagers.
A collective movement makes for good comedy.
Got it? Now, Teacher Kemal, while he was trying to step from individualism into collectivism, he messed everything up.
Right.
Now, you go on and watch this eye-opening story.
Meanwhile, I'll be enjoying my cigarette.
Welcome, Mr.
Teaching.
Thanks.
But it's not "teaching," it's "teacher.
" Oh, fuck off! You just got off the bus.
Murtaza, where are you going? Come back.
What's wrong? Why is he upset? Forget it, sir.
Country people, eh? They'll get used to it.
- The kids are out.
- Yeah, they're playing.
- Is there no school? - There is, but it's Saturday.
Listen, every day is a school day.
Wow, this one will be a pain in the ass.
- Why are they like this, Master Fehim? - I'm Nusret.
Nusret? They told me Master Fehim would greet me.
- Where were you assigned to? - Avallar.
Wow, but this is Kızılca.
You don't even know where you should get off.
Your village is way over there.
You need to walk all the way there.
Ah, damn.
Damn! That's how they are.
Avallar is thataway, after Taşkale.
Thanks.
I wish everyone was like you.
I'm the village idiot.
Mestan.
- Shall we be road buddies? - Certainly.
- Will I get an award? - What? An award, I said.
Look at what I'm doing.
And thus started the journey of Teacher Kemal.
He came, settled into his one-bedroom house, and that was where he first met Nazlı.
- Books.
- Yes.
Have you read all of them? Yes, I have.
Smart teacher.
Wait a second.
What? You shouldn't say "what.
" "Yes" is better.
What's your name? Nazlı.
Nazlı.
- You're Fehim's daughter, right? - Yes.
Don't you fall in love with me, kiddo, all right? Fall in love with me.
Shut up.
Crazy fool.
Tell your father to gather everyone at the coffee house.
Tell him that Teacher Kemal has a few words to say.
All right, sir.
"Sir"? You can call me Kemal.
My name is Kemal.
What did you say? You told me not to fall in love, but you're acting intimate, you weasel! Nazlı is crazy.
But she's pretty.
She is pretty.
Your bed is comfy! You think we'll make it, Mestan? Can we make this sapling grow in this barren land? What do you mean? Will the children come to school? Will the women be productive? You know, will we be able to share equally? A cooperative, for example.
Do you think we can do that? How would I know? I'm sure you know.
You may be crazy, but maybe you are the smartest of us all.
Now you're fucking exaggerating! Let's wrestle! Coming! It's 4434 to dispatch.
Suspect teacher has arrived in the village.
I'm on to the bastard.
He's already spewing his communist shit.
He said "cooperative.
" Over.
- Welcome, Mr.
Teacher.
- Thanks.
- Welcome, Teacher.
- Thanks.
My name is Kemal.
Teacher Kemal.
- How do we know that you're a teacher? - I've just said it.
Teacher Kemal.
I'm here to guide you, to be a beacon, to be productive together - Teacher, seven times eight? - Fifty-six.
- Nine times nine? - Eighty-one.
- How many seasons are there in a year? - Four.
He knows.
I have a question.
Go ahead, Mestan.
Will I get an award? - What? - An award.
An award? I need to bond with the villagers first.
All right, Teacher, 56 times 11.
- Fifty-six times eleven? - Yes.
Fifty-six times eleven? Well And 245 times 376! - I'm gonna fu - Hello, all.
- Hello.
- Master.
Master.
- Welcome, Feramuz.
- Thank you.
Hold your horses.
Stop bugging the teacher from day one.
- Welcome, Teacher.
- Teacher Kemal.
I'm Fehim.
Forgive me for being a little late.
- Kiss your teacher's hand.
- No need for that.
Welcome, Fehim.
Why weren't you here with everybody? Teacher, I showed you respect and made my son kiss your hand.
Don't get too cocky too quickly.
Besides, the master knows his hours and minutes best, right? Yes.
The time of masters is over, Fehim.
We're past that.
- Did you hear, Dad? - Yes.
Let me go into reverse gear and see if it's back there somewhere.
He says the time of the masters is over and that we've moved past that.
Bring the teacher some aftershave so when he wakes up from his dream, he can slap it gently onto his cheeks.
How about the women? Our women.
Why are they standing so far back? - Shouldn't they have the front row? - "Our women"? Watch your mouth! - Your women, I said.
Your women.
- Don't try to weasel your way out of it.
No, I meant that the women should always be cherished.
They should have the front row.
Nazlı, am I right? How would I know, you fool? - Nazlı.
- What class are you in? You can't classify us.
You should remember that.
What? I just asked the kid what class he was in.
Hey, listen.
Teach the multiplication table.
Teach them how many seasons and days there are in a year, and the duties of a mukhtar.
That's enough.
If you try to pull any anarchist crap, my eyes are on you.
Watch your step.
I'm just telling you how it is.
- I don't get it.
- I want to graduate from the fifth grade.
- Fifth? - Yes.
Why have you waited till now? Every teacher had a run-in with my dad.
You should have figured that out, you idiot! - Motherfucker.
- What? Nothing.
Listen, Teacher.
Don't mess with me.
You do as you please, and we'll see.
I bet we'll see your true colors in just a few days anyway.
Listen, Fehim.
You took a step towards me, so I'll take one towards you.
Starting tomorrow, I want you to send anyone illiterate to school.
No way! - What about looms for the women? - Stop getting on my nerves.
- Irrigation for the fields? - What? A communist! Okay, fine.
What about a library for the village? You think we're in a movie? Ask for something realistic.
Television? Finally! Television is fine.
At least it will lighten up the mood.
Color TV? Say yes! Say color! Say color TV.
We only have a black and white one.
You have a black and white TV? All right, color.
- Teacher! - Okay! Teacher, when you say "color," you don't mean rainbow-colored, right? Just color TV.
But when this color TV comes, will Bedia Akartürk be able to see us too? I don't understand anything.
Okay, color TV, then.
Yes! - Good job! - Let's not upset anyone.
Come on, Teacher.
Bring the teacher a cup of coffee.
- I'd like to - Sir, he's talking about color TVs.
You can't buy color TVs.
Probably smuggled.
Yeah.
I'm on his tail.
Over.
Kemal started bonding with the village.
He was like a kid around the kids.
He worked the fields with the farmers, and shared in their joys.
Production in the village increased.
We had rug-weaving looms and a campaign to end illiteracy.
Months passed like this.
But what about matters of the heart? Among all this work, how could there be time for that? You and your books.
Wouldn't you understand me better if you hadn't read those? So what if I read them? Your pile of books or me? Think about it.
Your books, right? For reading, yeah.
But for living, I'd choose you.
Read me too.
Turn me, fold me to mark where you left off, and keep reading me the next day.
You're so different, you know? Liar.
I'm just a regular girl.
And here's home.
There's something about you.
Teacher, I'd lay you down right here, but But we're in the village.
I'm so hot.
I swear I'm burning.
When you say those smart words to my dad, I start to get hot.
Kemal.
Shall I show you my tits? What are you saying, Nazlı? A body is like a temple.
You're a budding rose.
I will not wither you.
Like I give a fuck.
Feel Feel me a little over these drawers with your hand.
Feel me.
Do something here.
- Like this.
- No way.
Your mother's right there.
I could just eat you up.
I could pluck that blonde mustache of yours.
- Would you like me to lay on your chest? - No.
Under that tree, let's go there and embrace.
Your mom's here.
Nazlı.
What are you talking about with him? Kemal wants to open a tomato paste factory.
What would I know about that? What is she talking about? Tomato paste? Go inside! - Have a nice day.
- Thanks.
He's hitting on the master's daughter.
Over.
Mestan.
How are you, boy? - Matters of the heart? - Yes.
Take this girl.
I will, Mestan.
Those fancy city girls are no better than her.
She's better, even.
Her hands are soft like cotton.
Eyes like a doe's.
She's like the earth.
Like a growing, reproducing mother.
She smells.
What? She smells like earth.
She smells like soil.
She smells like wheat.
Nazlı smells like my homeland.
I will take her.
Will I get an award? An award? My God Come.
You're crazy.
- Are you serious, Teacher Kemal? - I am, Master.
Start the marriage procedure.
Don't tell me later that you're from two different worlds.
She has older sisters living in the city.
They are her elders.
We should ask what they think, right? Well said.
You're right.
A woman should have a name and the right to speak.
Call them.
I'll ask for their blessing.
It's good we're on the same page.
May I call you Father? You shouldn't hurry, I think.
You're on your mandatory duty.
Don't decide hastily in a time of poverty.
Rich or poor, I want Nazlı by my side.
I want to ask for her sisters' approval.
Let me carry my Nazlı away.
Carry me away? Papa, I don't want my older sisters here.
- Hold on.
We'll see about that.
- Kemal, they don't need to be here.
They should come, Nazlı.
I want to tell them how much I love you.
I had no idea what to do with this sudden proposal.
I sent word to my daughters in Istanbul to come here immediately.
Now, I'm not sophisticated enough to talk to the teacher.
At least they're on the same page.
I thought they could sit and have a talk.
I say it all the time.
Nazlı is not the girl for that.
I lost count of how many officials fell for her.
But who listens to me? Master Fehim talking and a donkey farting is all the same to them.
Türkan, welcome.
Thanks.
Greetings.
- Hülya, welcome.
- Thanks.
Greetings.
Filiz, I'm Fehiman.
How are you? I'm fine, thank you.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- Have a nice day.
- They're here? - Yes.
My sisters are here.
- That's them? - Yes.
- How many siblings are in your family? - Five.
Four girls, one boy.
Look, son, don't piss me off.
Fuck you.
Fuck you and your genetics.
What kind of family is this? Why? You're the one who's settling for less.
- These are your sisters? - Yes.
How could you deceive me? Introduce us right now, or I'll deliberately flunk you.
Okay, Teacher, calm down.
Fine, come with me.
- How are you, Feramuz? - I'm fine, thanks.
And how are you? - We're fine, thank God.
- Oh! - My love, my darling Ferit, come here.
- Ferit.
Come here.
We missed you.
- My sister! - My dear! - Ferit, have you finished fifth grade? - I'm about to.
Look, it's Teacher Kemal.
- Teacher, welcome.
Please, join us.
- Welcome.
Hello.
I'm Teacher Kemal.
I am Filiz Kadınoğlu, attorney-at-law.
I'm Türkan Kadınoğlu Koca, a senior engineer.
I'm the middle child, Hülya Kadınoğlu.
I'm a mayor.
A mayor? You're not serious, right? Tell me you're not serious.
God damn you all! You're here, but nobody tells me? I was working in the field, sister.
You smell so darn good! Look.
Kemal, my fiancé.
Teacher Kemal? What do you think? Five siblings, side by side.
Bless you all! Brother-in-law.
Kemal, my blonde knight, are you okay? Would you look at him.
- Wonderful, dear.
- Nice.
I wish you all the happiness.
From that day on, Teacher Kemal was devastated.
He never said the words "production" or "cooperative" again.
His world had been turned on its side.
What's going on, Kemal? The tomato paste factory is running without a hitch, but you don't care at all.
Why aren't you like your sisters? You tricked me.
Come here.
I was at city hall for the marriage papers.
They said you were a draft dodger.
They registered me falsely.
You think I check my ID every day? It's obvious that I'm a woman.
Like hell it is! Look at your sisters, then look at yourself.
Don't you think it's beneath you to judge me by my looks, Teacher Kemal? Don't talk fancy.
If your parents were capable of raising girls like that, where did you come from? Why did you grow so cold towards me? Why? What have I done to you? - I don't like you anymore! - Yeah, sure.
Hey, stop talking to me like that in my mom's house or I'll choke you! - I don't like you.
- Shut up! - What's with you? - I have everything! Thanks to God, I have everything! What do you have, blonde dick? Mom! Yes, dear? I told you not to invite my elder sisters.
You deceived me! Nobody deceived you! You are a victim of your own prejudices.
You were so caught in your clichés, you couldn't see anything else.
This is Nazlı, and this is me, and these are her sisters.
You have to accept things as they are.
You had an image in your mind of thickheaded country people.
You got on your high horse.
Then you got so carried away that finally, you toppled over.
What did I tell you, huh? I said, "I'm just telling you how it is.
" Rewind and watch.
I'm consistent.
I tried to warn you that she wasn't your type.
But everyone yelled, "Teacher, sir!" and it went to your head.
Your head got too big.
Go ahead now.
Take her.
Produce and reproduce! Go on! Come on, go ahead.
City life can cause these false perceptions.
We only left because of who we are.
Ferit cannot leave here.
- No.
- He won't.
Because he's Ferit.
And I'm Hülya.
Do you mean that everyone is different? Everyone is an individual? - Kemal, what are your ideals? - Why don't you go back to those? You think I have any ideals left? Fuck, you think I have an equal? - He's just like Oğuz Atay! - He has a similar sense of solitude.
No, he's just bullshitting.
I am! I'll keep doing it too! But now I have an ideal.
Producing nothing at all.
In fact, no reproducing either! Therefore, I've decided not to marry Nazlı.
Oh my.
God damn you.
God damn you, you fucking twat! - Oh my.
- Nazlı, please.
Nazlı, hey! Watch your mouth, you motherfucker! Don't you hear how he's talking to me? You're a mutt! A mutt, I say! Take your ring and shove it up your mother's pussy! - Nazlı! - Enough! - What should I do, Hülya? - Easy.
That's how she reacts.
You shouldn't have upset her.
Shut up.
You're 40, yet you're still in fifth grade.
I'm 14.
I only flunked two years.
Good! Add another year! By the way, I'm flunking your brother.
- See? - That's your call.
You'd know.
Damn right, I know some things.
We indulged the bastard! Hey! Stop it! Enough! - Come! Bring it on! - Dad, let go of me! Farewell to you.
Forgive me.
I got a little carried away.
I mean, mistakes were made.
I wanted this village to thrive.
But I learned my lesson.
I mean, you can still thrive, even without dipshits like me.
If it's meant to be, that's clear.
I mean, there's nothing to do about it.
And the tomato paste factory is my gift to you.
And if I've learned anything, it's to not meddle in everything.
Thank you so much.
Mestan.
You've been the only one who gets me.
Maybe you're crazy, even mad, but you're trustworthy.
Give your brother a hug.
Dude Dude, I'm a cop.
A cop, huh? - I didn't see that either.
- You fall for everything.
You never stop and reconsider.
Excuse me.
Sir, I'll stop following Teacher Kemal.
A cop, huh? Sir, he's an idiot.
No, a total idiot.
He's no threat.
Over.
I'm sorry, it's my job.
Well done though.
You could win an award with that cover.
Thanks.
What's your real name? Mestan.
The same.
I didn't see that either.
I thought it was an undercover name.
Never mind.
Farewell.
Teacher! Always remember this.
A fart will always be a fart, no matter what you call it.
If the sheep are smarter than the shepherd, they'll play him like a fiddle.
Now, beat it! THE END Subtitle translation by: Diana Renker, Marc Seyers