The Perfect Couple (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Don't want your love and war no more ♪
I need more than your time ♪
I'd walk on broken glass ♪
Damn, near sold my ass ♪
Gave you the shirt off my back ♪
Gone through the fire ♪
Goddammit I'm tired ♪
Why can't you just give me ♪
-Give me something, yeah ♪
-Give me something ♪
Show me this thing
Was meant to be, yeah ♪
Whatever it means
It means something to me ♪
Because I'm
Because I'm not
doing this with you anymore
and we've already talked about
Okay, give them my phone number.
I can give them my credit card.
Okay, bye.
Oh, fuck me.
Oh! Hello. Sorry about that.
It's just my super-cool stepdad.
He just can't stop making friends
everywhere he goes.
Uh, also Hi.
I'm Merritt. We haven't met yet.
I'm Amelia's friend.
Hi, Merritt, Amelia's friend.
I'm, uh, Tag, Benji's dad.
Yeah.
-"Merritt"?
-Yeah.
Like the parkway.
Yeah, like the parkway.
It's nice.
-I mean I like the parkway.
-Yeah.
I should probably go back up there.
It was nice to meet you, Merritt.
Nice to meet you too, Benji's dad.
How did you know she was pregnant?
Did she tell you that last night too?
And she was sure it was his?
Tag was the only guy she was seeing.
Yeah, but you didn't even know
she was seeing him until last night.
Look, I know she comes off
like she's this
party girl or whatever.
But the truth is,
she never really sleeps with anyone.
I mean, guys are always
falling all over her,
but she believes that if you sleep
with someone, you give away your power.
That's why I wanted to come here. I
It's a big deal that she slept with him.
She must have
really been in love with him.
Okay.
Okay.
Where the fuck is it?
Hey.
Hey.
You okay? Where have you been?
Yeah, sorry. I I went for a walk.
I should have texted.
That's okay.
It's, uh, it's pretty late.
Should we go to bed?
Yeah.
Lock me up 'cause I've been bad ♪
And I know I'll do it again ♪
Blue lights, red lights ♪
-We're gonna get real wild tonight ♪
-Come on ♪
Anything that feels this good ♪
Well, it must be illegal ♪
Must be illegal ♪
Call us criminals, criminals, baby ♪
Call us criminals, criminals, oh ♪
Shit.
-You scared me.
-I heard someone walking around.
-Are you all right?
-I was just, um
-I was just thirsty.
-Thirsty?
Don't you have a carafe by your bed?
I do. I forgot.
Are you sure there wasn't something else
you were looking for? Because
I'd hate you to be sneaking around.
I mean, if you want something, just ask.
- I will.
- Good.
You know, Benji's very important to me.
We're very close.
So I want you to be comfortable here
with all of us.
But don't ever go into Tag's office again.
Do you understand me?
-It was a mistake.
-Hmm.
-All right. Thank you. Good night.
-Good night.
Mr. Tag, your green juice.
Thank you, Go Go.
How's the follow-up care going?
Almost done.
You know how I feel about that stuff.
Whenever you're ready.
Oh, Mr. Tag!
People Magazine
will be here this afternoon
and then we have
my book launch on Tuesday.
And the thing
I'm most worried about right now
is everyone having to stand in a line,
in the heat.
We'll pass chilled rosé and
And pre-signed copies. No line.
-Do we have chilled rosé?
-Oh, of course we have chilled rosé.
Good morning, Amelia. How are you?
Okay.
The wedding caterers
forgot to cancel the brunch, so
I'm not really hungry.
No?
There's juice there
if you're still thirsty.
Thank you.
Greer, are you sure
you don't want to postpone?
-With everything that's going on
-Yeah.
Of course I want to postpone,
but we can't.
-Why not?
-We have people flying in from New York,
from London,
and then we would have to explain why.
And I don't think any of us
want to explain any of that right now.
-No.
-And that's not what we need. Is it?
Uh
And there is going to be an interview
in the garden this afternoon, darling.
-Yes, yes, of course.
-Good.
And I apologize now,
but they're going to want
a family photo in the afternoon.
-They want a photo?
-Yeah.
Of course, we have to do a family photo,
right, Roger?
- They'll expect it. It's got to be done.
- You've got to be kidding me.
- We have the hydrangeas out.
- Yeah.
Please wear something lovely.
Hmm. Where's Shooter, by the way?
Has anyone seen him?
Uh, I don't know. Asleep, maybe?
- Can you wake him up, please?
- Yep.
Hey!
I want a lawyer!
I want my lawyer! Come on!
Please!
Hello?
Fuck.
Oh, fuck!
I've been pickin' up your shit
For three days now ♪
Fuck.
led us to destruction
You're always up to somethin' ♪
Hello?
-What are you
-Why haven't you answered any of my texts?
Uh You haven't told your dad?
-No, I haven't told anyone, okay?
-Good, 'cause this is really serious.
-I know.
-This could get bad.
-Chloe?
-a really big deal!
Hey, Dad.
Don't freak out, okay? It's okay.
No, I'll tell you if it's okay or not.
I'm I'm really sorry, sir
What the hell are you doing,
climbing through my daughter's window?
You know, you people don't own
this whole island. This is my house.
Oh!
Hey, Will.
Didn't see anything.
I'm just here to reload.
You, uh get off in a bit, right?
Yeah.
God, your family drink like fish.
Hey.
Do you want to grab
some of those mojitos you've been serving
and come check out my secret hideout?
Um
I will see if I can sneak away.
You know, this is a nice spot.
No one would know you're here.
Yeah, well, you know
Thank you.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
And calling me "sir" doesn't excuse
the fact that you didn't have the decency
to come to my front door.
I catch you in here again,
I'll arrest you.
I understand, sir.
Do something to your hand?
Ow!
Fuck!
Will.
Will! What happened?
Hey! It's okay. It's okay.
No, it's nothing.
Get out.
And this time, use the door.
When I get home, we're gonna have a talk.
Will's a little weirdo.
He was a sweetheart as a kid, but then,
I don't know, something happened.
He shut down.
Started spending all of his time
in his room with the door closed.
I know he's 13 or 17 or whatever,
but no one jerks off that much.
Mr. William loves my pierogies.
And Mrs. Greer tried to make
a pierogi for him when I had cancer.
Hmm.
He looked skinnier than me
when I got back.
Aw.
Hey.
For stretch marks.
It's got this Madura tallow in it
that's banned by the FDA,
but my sorority sister gets it for me
from her Asian mother-in-law
who's a cosmetics magnate.
I make it in my Vitamix.
No parabens, and it's gluten-free.
Cool.
The key to this family
is to just stay on the periphery
where it's safe.
That's what I do.
What do you mean?
If something bad happened,
and I'm not saying that it did,
because that would be insane
but if there's something more to it,
I would leave that
to the police to figure out.
Don't get caught in Greer's crosshairs.
It's not worth it.
Has she ever asked you to sign an NDA?
Well, if she has,
I probably shouldn't say, right?
That's kind of the whole point of an NDA.
It's not that big of a deal.
I signed one in the beginning when I first
started dating Thomas, five years ago.
After the whole Mae thing.
Mae thing?
I assumed you knew.
Well, now you have to tell me.
Mae Pratt. She was Will's French tutor.
She worked here one summer,
and then she didn't.
"Disappeared under the cover of night"
kind of thing.
I always got the feeling something bad
happened, but I don't know what.
-Will was devastated.
-That's awful.
I'm surprised Benji never told you.
They were close.
I think she went to Deerfield.
But, duh, no wonder you're paranoid
if she asked you to sign an NDA.
But I promise you'll get used to it.
And I am sorry about Merritt.
I know that I wasn't always,
like, the most welcoming,
but she was a really cool girl.
Thank you.
How come you never told me
about Mae Pratt?
Who, uh
-Who told you about that?
-Was she a friend of yours?
She went to school with you or something?
She needed a summer job,
so she stayed here and taught Will French.
And she what, she just
left suddenly?
Yeah.
Didn't say good-bye.
It was weird.
Why are you asking me about this?
I just wondered
why you never mentioned it.
Because it was years ago. Why would I?
Apparently your mom
had everyone sign NDAs then too.
Jesus.
Amelia, look, I've told you.
This is how they do things.
Yeah?
This is how they've always done things,
so just leave it alone.
People Magazine is here.
My mom will be expecting us.
Absolutely.
That and agreeing with
each other as much as you possibly can.
I can see that.
Do you think that it requires
a kind of unconditional love
to stay married 29 years?
Well, I mean
Unconditional love?
I think it's more just,
if one of us makes a mistake,
big or small,
then we're there to protect them.
-So that's it?
-What she said.
It's like that for the whole family,
isn't it, really?
- I mean, we have teamwork.
- Yes.
-Teamwork. Absolutely.
-Absolutely.
I mean, after,
I know it doesn't sound all
Finish each other's sentences.
-That's right.
-Hear that?
- Bless you.
- Bless you.
Case in point.
I just got to think
that it's more than just teamwork.
Well, that and a healthy sex life.
I think that's That's really important.
Good to know. Good to know.
Um
-Well, let's talk about the book. Right?
-Of course. That's what we're here for.
-29th Dash and Dolly. That's
-Dash and Dolly.
Do you just not sleep?
-She is prolific.
-I've always written.
I know she looks like a thoroughbred,
but total workhorse. Clydesdale.
-This one is up at dawn.
-Okay. Okay.
-I think that's enough.
-At dawn, making notes in her little pad
and feeding inbred children
and taking care of
-Sorry, I'm not talking about our family.
-Just ignore him now.
-You've really revved him up.
-I'm sorry.
He's not gonna stop.
Because the greatest love of all ♪
And now the karaoke. All right. All right.
I found the ♪
That's great. It's wonderful.
-No, it is.
-Oh, it's a party.
And how did Dolly first come to you?
Um how did she come to me?
Uh
I don't I don't actually remember.
I had an Agatha Christie obsession,
didn't I?
Yes.
I mean, I had inspiration,
I think, with some wealthy aunts.
-Oh. Quite a few wealthy aunts.
-And
- Greer, you mentioned aunts?
- Yes.
You don't normally talk about your family.
No.
That's because I went to boarding school
when I was five.
As you do.
Um, but I do remember
I remember when Dash Hardaway came to me.
And it was in the form of this
gorgeous man.
Oh, crap.
-Wasn't supposed to start until 4:00.
-Did you feel that?
- Oh, no.
- Right.
-Um
-"The dearest events are summer rain."
Just wait until
you smell the grass afterwards.
-Better run.
-Only a few questions.
Now, we're going to have to do the photos
indoors in our own house,
and the whole reason to do it outside here
was because of the fucking hydrangeas.
And what was that all about, Tag?
Honestly.
-What was what all about?
-You know exactly what I'm talking about,
all that over-the-top romantic drivel.
I don't think, um
I'm capable of saying anything today
that would pass muster with you.
What you're capable of and not capable of
seems to be ever-expanding, doesn't it?
I could say the same about you.
A thoroughbred?
I'd like to know
what possessed your pot-filled brain
to think you could liken me
to a fucking horse.
Just doing my part, darling.
Seems like you've been doing your part
just a little too much.
Might be enough now.
Is that what this is about?
Huh?
People Magazine is here,
and suddenly you've found
some fake fucking morality?
Suddenly we're the perfect family?
Is that Is that it, Greer?
Is that what you want?
-Come on. Just get dressed.
-Do you even know what you want?
Because I do.
It's you.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's my fucking sickness.
I've done everything I can to cure it,
but I can't!
Keep your voice down!
Don't you ever just want to say "fuck it"?
Get away from all of this bullshit,
all these lies?
Get on a fucking plane and go
somewhere beautiful? Just you and me.
You know the interesting thing
about guilt, Tag? It's not transferable.
I love you.
Just get dressed.
Oh, God Oh!
Hi. Um
You're not dressed.
Come on.
Are you going to be in the family photo?
-If you want me to.
-If I want
Uh Come on, do you want?
No, I don't think so.
I think it would mean a lot to Benji
to know that you gave a shit
about participating in his family.
-I give a shit.
-Really? Do you?
-You don't act like you do.
-I'm sorry you feel that way.
You don't act like you're in love.
Benji deserves to be loved, Amelia.
He does. I agree with you.
I just have a different idea
of what love looks like.
Do you mean how Tag loves you?
Tag adores me.
Now please go and put on
something presentable, would you?
Something that
I know you don't care, but I do.
All right.
Happy families.
Let's go.
- Hey.
- Detective.
All these missed calls
are from the same number
going back a couple of weeks.
She never picked up.
Any word from the ME?
Um
They're doing a blood test,
but depending on how far along she was,
it might not even be detectable yet.
Oh, and we heard
from Shooter Dival's lawyer.
They know
we don't have enough to keep him.
And?
-He's pulling him.
-Of course.
Never said a fucking word,
and now we don't have enough to keep him.
-Can I have a look at it?
-Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
She was ignoring somebody.
Friday, day of the murder.
This number calls her at 9:05 a.m.,
9:15, 10:30, 10:35
I wonder if they left any messages.
Let's check it out.
Let's see.
Hi. Uh, it's pretty obvious by now
you don't want to talk about this.
And I promise I'm not going to bring it up
when you get here.
I'm not going to act weird. I just
My biggest concern is Amelia getting hurt,
'cause this would kill her.
It would break her heart.
So I'm begging you, please,
just don't let her find out
until after tomorrow.
Is that the groom calling the victim?
- Then, as far forward as you can.
- Will, you'll get blood on my suit.
- She just told me to
- See if Amelia's on her way.
-Yeah
-She told me to go closer to you.
We've been waiting.
We don't want to keep them.
She'll be here in a minute.
No, no, no, no.
It's been five minutes.
Okay, yeah, sure. Amelia!
- Shut up.
- Uh, let's look up here.
Oh! Here she is.
Oh!
- And you look gorgeous. Gorgeous!
- Do you want me to sit here?
- Yes.
- Yeah, let's do that.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- You all look gorgeous.
- She just told me
- Just stop.
- You have to have sex to get Hep C.
- Look up here. Big smiles.
Beautiful. One, two, three.
- She's just going to snap a few.
- How's this? Good?
- Another great family photo.
- I had an idea.
I was thinking I don't know if it's
We have Amelia's parents here.
- Yes. Please.
- For the inside.
And we have, um, a family friend
who would love to be in the photo.
-Okay. I'll go get them.
-Gosia, can you go get Isabel?
This'll be interesting.
- The spot's a little bit
- Yes.
-Just something different.
-Tag and Greer in the middle.
- Divine.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- Where would you be?
Your own cover.
-You're
-I know.
- going to get married.
- We are.
- Hi.
- Hi.
It's nice,
but we don't need to be in there.
Let's do the photo.
-Don't need to be in the pictures.
-Just get in.
- No, we want you.
- It's okay.
Sit down, please.
-That sounds good. The couple.
-Yeah, right?
- This is Karen.
- Hi, Karen.
Sit down.
We'd love to have you both in the photo.
This is amazing!
-You okay?
-Mmm-hmm.
- We are the perfect family.
- Will
Everyone. One, two, three.
You all look amazing.
You must be so proud.
Let's get a couple more.
Where's Shooter?
-Uh, I haven't seen him all day.
-It'd be nice to have him in the photo.
I hear he's finally been adopted
by someone else.
We can take this picture
without Shooter, darling.
Shooter and Greer?
Yeah. They're weirdly close.
And Mrs. Greer
has a special spot for Shooter.
She always says, "He's like a son to me."
I wouldn't behave this way with my son.
Whatever. Can't all have a dead mom.
All right, Mr. Dival, you're free to go,
but you cannot leave the island.
All right? None of you
can leave the island. Understood?
Yeah.
You got a good lawyer, but we still
believe you're hiding something,
so we're gonna keep a close eye on you.
Come on. Let's go.
- This way.
- Thank you.
Mmm!
Hell, yeah.
You've done it again.
- Hello?
- Uh, yeah, back here.
Hi. Your hedges need a haircut.
Yeah. Well, I'll be sure
to inform my gardener.
Ah!
Oh! Something smells good!
Stop & Shop marinara. I add real garlic.
Well, that's impressive.
I just lie and tell my kids
the frozen garlic bread's homemade.
Well, listen, anything, uh,
you have to preheat the oven for
counts as home cooking.
Oh!
No. No, thank you. I am still feeling
the plastic cup of Yellow Tail
I just had with Isabel Nallet
at the Sand Dollar.
Oh, and was it worth it?
Jeez. You know I can only understand
half of what that woman says.
But apparently
the Winbury money is all tied up in trust.
So that's why Greer churns out
a book or two a year.
She's paying for everything:
schools, cars,
the penthouse on Park, all of it.
Can't touch it.
Tag gets some money to invest,
but he's never worked a day in his life.
Yeah, well, no wonder Tag is such a
Prick.
No, no, I wasn't gonna say that.
I was gonna say "great guy."
I mean,
the boys get their money down the line,
but Greer doesn't want them
to turn out like Tag.
I mean, it's too late for Thomas, clearly.
But she said Benji had some issues
when he was a teenager.
Got into fights,
got kicked out, had to switch schools.
Yeah.
-He's hard to read.
-Yeah.
And Will
I mean, he's very anxious,
nervous kid, tightly wound,
and he doesn't get along with Tag at all.
Chloe, come here. Come here.
I want you to meet my daughter.
This is Detective Henry.
Hey.
"Hey"?
I like her. She seems nice.
-Quality door slam. I like her. Yep.
-Yeah.
-Never get used to that sound.
-No?
No, but it happens all the time.
Does it?
Never at my house.
What is that?
- Great.
- Going to start with Burgundy?
I don't know.
Does it taste like moldy castle?
Bread. If you want it.
Oh, Shooter? Is that you Ah
-You made it.
-Yeah.
The prodigal son returns.
Please.
Where have you been, dude?
Police station.
Uh, it's okay. They just wanted to talk.
It'll be fine.
Let me get the rest of the food.
- Greer?
- It's, um
-What happened?
-I didn't say anything about the money.
- I swear.
- Good.
Should I be worried?
No. Gosia, that looks so delicious!
All right,
I think we all need some comfort food.
I prefer comfort drink.
Of course.
Gosia, you are a magician.
This is extraordinary. I don't know
what we would do without you. Bravo.
Hear, hear!
Yes. Thank you, Gosia.
Are you okay?
Bon appétit!
Mmm. Oui!
So, Isabel, how are you,
uh, liking the hotel?
-Oh, it's hideous. It's hideous.
-Oh!
They serve wine in little plastic bottles.
Ooh.
That's better than none at all.
Yes, of course.
All the magazines are
about Nantucket. I am on Nantucket.
I should have bought a book
at the airport,
but I did not anticipate
so much comment dit-on
-Downtime.
-Yeah. Downtime.
You were expecting more activity?
When Tom and I went to Parrot Cay
last month, I bought Death in Greenwich,
and I read it for the third time.
It never gets old.
Tom.
My books at the airport.
It's torture.
I know. Awful.
Mmm-hmm.
But it does make up 30% of my sales.
Exactly. You have to play the game.
Even though I do feel like
I'm churning them out like Doritos.
- People love Doritos.
- They do.
-I love Doritos.
-She does.
No, I mean, I did,
when I could still taste them.
You're right, Karen.
I love Doritos, too, once in a while.
She does.
Karen and I ate Fritos and Franzia
every night of our honeymoon
from this great little place
on the sand. It was terrific.
Heaven.
- Lovely!
- Sounds like it.
Why do you ask people to sign NDAs?
Pardon?
Why do you ask people
to sign legal documents
promising they won't talk about
what goes on here?
- We talked about this.
- It's all right.
It's a lot to get used to.
One of the reasons that we
What happened to Mae Pratt?
Now, that is a good question.
Benji, what is she talking about?
-Mae Pratt?
-I don't know.
Honey.
What happened to her?
Amelia.
Well, if her disappearance
had nothing to do with anyone,
why ask people to sign NDAs?
-Yeah, that's so weird. Why
-Why can't anyone talk about it?
Stop.
Benji, would you please ask your fiancée
to stop talking?
-Who are you protecting?
-Who am I protecting?
Okay, I think, um,
worn this subject out, frankly.
Uh, who is Mae Pratt?
Apparently not.
Yeah, Dad. Who is Mae Pratt?
Fuck off, Tom.
What What's going on?
What are you talking about?
Nothing. It's all right, Will.
-Dad was fucking her, Will.
-Tom!
Thomas, why would you say
something like that?!
Because it's the truth.
Because your son
is an insecure little prick, that's why.
Would you mind not smoking
at the table, please?
I'm sorry, darling.
Dad Dad was fucking who?
Mae, for one.
- He's had too much to drink.
- Oh, my God.
- That's not true.
- Don't listen to a word he's saying.
-That's not true.
-It is true!
And when Dad broke it off with her
-You've had too much to drink.
-she tried to kill herself, Mom.
-What are
-Remember?
So Mom and Dad
threw their huge dicks on the table
Tom.
and made a financial settlement
so that they wouldn't go to court.
Right?
-Okay.
-And that's why you never saw her again.
He doesn't know
what he's talking about, William.
You told me she was she quit.
That's what you said.
She did. Yes.
I don't fucking I don't buy it
for a second, actually.
Fuck you. Fuck all of you.
Fuck you, especially! Asshole.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I do love Chablis.
I mean, I think I prefer Italian whites,
but Whatever.
A Chablis is a Chardonnay,
but a Chardonnay
is not necessarily a Chablis, right?
Are you going to go
and see if he's all right?
Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Go and check on your son, Tag!
-Like, do something for once!
-Yes, of course. Here I go. On my way.
How is your Chablis?
Actually, Abby, is it
I'm not having any.
Oh! You're not drinking.
Of course. You're pregnant.
But I do I do recall that I like it.
It really doesn't matter.
It's disgusting.
No, really disgusting.
Oui.
Yes, it's disgusting.
Excuse me, everyone.
I really had no idea.
So, uh, what's your favorite kind
of Doritos?
When you could still taste.
-Cool Ranch.
-Hmm.
Okay. I am going to call
about those tests one more time.
Look here. That definitely
does not look like cocktail banter.
No. He is all over her Instagram.
I mean, he has liked every single post
this entire year.
I think I counted, like,
16 fire emojis in June alone.
-And that means?
-He thinks she's hot.
Yeah, this is Detective Henry.
I'm just calling to
Right.
Okay. Thank you.
Uh, she was definitely pregnant.
The prints on the oyster shucking knife,
Will Winbury.
The blood in the sand,
Merritt Monaco and Will Winbury.
Did you find him?
-Not yet.
-Were you even looking for him?
-Sweetheart, I'm sure he's fine.
-Will!
-God. He's devastated by this.
-Honey, I'm sure he's fine.
You don't know him like I do.
I know I don't know him like you do,
but I know that he's probably fine.
And if anything happens to him,
I will never fucking forgive you.
Sweetheart, can we not
Shut the fuck up and find our son.
Fucking shoes.
Hey, Will.
Fucking hate them!
My French tutor, Mae,
my dad was fucking her.
And they covered it up.
I made her this stupid little paper heart.
It said "You are cute" on it.
And she left right after that.
Didn't even say good-bye.
I I thought it was because of me.
You know, I thought I'd freaked her out
or something and
I don't know, it really messed me up.
He's such a fucking dick!
Okay, Will, what are you doing?
I'm going.
-What?
-I'm going.
No. That is not a good idea.
-Are you coming?
-No, it's dangerous!
Will, don't go.
You can't go by yourself!
To the heavenly island of Nantucket,
because my favorite person
in the entire world,
my best friend, Amelia,
is getting married this weekend!
I can't believe it.
And it kind of got me thinking
about friendship
-and how
-They can't find Will.
-Really?
-Yeah.
You okay?
Mmm-hmm.
I should go help look for him.
Okay.
Will?
William! It's all right, darling!
William?
Will had it.
He was hiding it.
Miss Sacks. Hello.