The Saint (1962) s01e03 Episode Script
The Careful Terrorist
Fine, thank you.
You know, this is probably the best place in New York City for omelettes.
They're fabulous, almost as good as those at Mère Poullard's.
A little restaurant in Normandy I go to in France.
That man over there is Lester Boyd, sitting with a pretty girl.
He's a newspaper reporter, and a darn good one.
Dedicated, sincere, honest.
As far as I'm concerned, he only has one fault.
He honestly believes the pen is mightier than the sword.
My idealism doesn't go quite that far.
Today, you have to fight nuclear fission with Well, I'm sure you get what I mean.
Excuse me.
Hello, Lester.
Good luck ith the telecast, I'll be watching.
Thanks.
Simon, please meet the girl I'm going to marry.
This is the famous, or infamous, Simon Templar.
.
.
therefore, tonight I go on record.
I accuse Nat Grendel, the quietly spoken, very distinguished but completely corrupt boss of the International Liveryman's Union, of extortion, fraud, embezzlement, larceny, blackmail 'and murder.
' 'How, then, did Grendel get where he is? 'Because a long time ago, 'he discovered election by democratic process 'was nowhere near as effective as election by bribery, 'or a speedy bullet in the back of an opposing candidate.
' Here, then, is my portrait of Nat Grendel.
15 arrests, seven indictments but no convictions.
Why? Because witnesses either vanish 'or die.
'On my show tomorrow, I'll give you facts and figures.
'I'll prove to you Nat Grendel' - (Man) Turn it off.
-'has taken trusts given 'by thousands of union members and perverted them to his personal end.
' How much has he got on you, Nat? -Quite a lot.
You don't seem worried.
-I'm not.
In exactly 30 minutes Lester Boyd will be dead.
On behalf of the New York Evening Herald, this is Lester Boyd saying thank you for watching and good night.
(Man) OK, Mr Boyd.
Well, honey, how'd I do? You really want to know? -I want Jenny to tell me.
Good or bad? Good for The Herald, bad for Grendel, and worse for you.
What have you said, Fernack? -Grendel is dangerous.
If you think he'll sit back while you hang him, you're either a fool or a nut.
Leave it to the police.
We'll get him sooner or later.
Sure, but how soon? More to the point, how late? Listen, Fernack.
You, too, Jenny.
I'm no fool and I'm no hero.
I know Grendel will try to destroy me before I can destroy him.
But the fact is, I'm the only guy who can expose him, smoke him out into the open.
And as scared as I am - yes, I'm scared all right - I've got to go through with it.
I can't quit now.
I just can't.
All right, Boyd.
It's your neck.
I'll give you all the police protection I can.
I'll wait for you outside.
-Thanks.
What for? It's my job, isn't it? Oh, and Boyd? -Yes? Good luck, anyway.
Come on, honey.
It'll be all right, I promise.
Darling, it'll be over in a few days.
Over for whom? You or Grendel? I know how you feel, but -Do you? Do you really know how I feel? Do you know I'm scared sick over what may happen to you? To us? I don't care what Grendel is, or what he's done.
All I care about is our life together.
Jenny, I love you.
Then please You heard what Fernack said.
Leave Grendel to the police.
Please? It's gettin' late and I got an article to write.
Boyd's behind schedule.
Relax, will ya? -Ricci should have phoned.
He'll phone.
(Telephone rings) Yeah? He's arriving at his apartment now.
Yes, it is.
I'll call you back.
My boys'll go up and give your apartment the once over, then stay here all night.
Fine, thanks.
Look after her, Fernack.
(Phone rings) Hello? -Won't be long now, boss.
About 30 seconds at the most.
Come on, I'll take you home.
No! Stay here.
I mean it.
You stay here! Oh, no, no.
Did you hear that, boss? Yep, I heard it.
Mr Lester Boyd is no longer with us.
Ah, just clearing out dead men, boss.
That's very thoughtful of you, Hoppy.
That one's not very dead, is it? It ain't? -Why, it's hardly been injured.
How about that? I guess I made a mistake.
I guess you did.
Now you can go put them back.
Every one of them.
And in future, I will make the tea.
OK.
Try to do a guy a favour and what happens? You wanna sling a few empties away, he thinks you got an inferior motive.
Ulterior, Hoppy.
-Yeah, that, too.
Anybody would think I wasn't to be trusted.
Nobody's perfect, boss.
You ain't sore at me? No, Hoppy, I'm not sore.
How about some hot coffee, huh? OK, boss.
As soon as I put the bottles back.
What's the matter, boss? -Mr Boyd's dead.
Blown to bits by a bomb in his apartment.
Poor Jenny.
It's pretty obvious who did it.
-It is? The man he was gunning for, Nat Grendel.
Why don't the cops haul him in? He has 10 lawyers keeping his murders legal.
What are you gonna do, boss? Take over where Lester Boyd left off.
Hello, New York Evening Herald? This is Simon Templar.
I'd like to speak to the editor, please.
Mr Templar, do you know Victor Reisel? Not personally, I know of him.
One of the best reporters in New York.
A few years ago, acid was flung in his face for doing this same thing.
Now Lester Boyd is blown to bits.
And you want to take over where he left off.
That's the general idea.
-Why? Maybe I'm a frustrated reporter.
Maybe you hate Grendel's guts as much as I do.
Mr Clinton, is it a deal or isn't it? I don't know.
Your reputation is of a man Who takes the law into his own hands.
I don't like that.
-Meaning, you don't think I'm convinced the pen is mightier than the sword.
Well, are you? No.
I think if you put a bullet in Grendel's back, you'd do everyone a favour, but I don't want that.
I'm running a paper.
I'll go with anything you write.
I'll even risk a libel suit.
Only I don't want any violence.
Understand? -Perfectly.
Will you give me your word of honour that you won't physically attack Grendel? Absolutely.
OK, welcome to the staff of the New York Evening Herald.
Now, where can I get background stuff on Grendel, Boyd's notes? You can't.
-Why not? They burned.
The explosion set fire to his apartment.
Could you keep that a secret? Could you run an item saying the opposite - that Boyd's material is in my hands? Yeah, we could do that.
Only take it easy.
I'd hate to run your first by-line in the obituaries.
I wouldn't like it, either.
Anything else I can do for you? That's all.
I'll be seeing you.
(Woman) 'Yes, Mr Clinton.
' Call the TV studio, have 'em run some station breaks.
'Saying what? ' -The Lester Boyd show goes on air.
Same time, same subject, only Simon Templar in the chair.
'Templar? Isn't he the' -That's it - The Saint.
Gee, boss.
You on television.
You could become a big star.
Another Jack Benny, another Bob Hope.
Hey, another Mr Jelly Wobbly.
Mr who? -Mr Jelly Wobbly.
He's a big, fat, old guy Who does a kids' show.
Well, he's my favourite.
Hoppy, with all due respect, it's just not me.
You understand? -Yeah, sure boss.
Now, one peep out of you before I finish (Door bell) Ah, John Henry, just in time.
I need background on Nat Grendel.
Just what are you up to? -He's gonna be on TV tonight got his own show.
-That I know.
I don't know why.
All right, what's your angle? Same as yours, I guess.
The same as Lester Boyd's.
Well, get this straight.
If anyone's gonna get Grendel, it'll be me, us, the police.
And we will get him in time, but we'll do it legally.
I'm warning you.
I know you fight fire with fire, but if you step one inch out of line, I'll nail you into the ground, understand? Yes, sir.
-I hope you do.
If anything happens to Grendel, ANYTHING, I'll know to come here.
(Footsteps running away) (Man) Five minutes to go, everyone, let's have a little quiet.
Settle down, please.
Do you mind? We're on air in five minutes.
OK, Templar, let's go.
You heard him, We're on air in five minutes.
Not tonight you're not.
You're under arrest.
On what charge? The attempted murder of Nat Grendel.
All right, Templar.
You can talk all you like but somebody shot at Grendel.
You're the only man With enough nerve to do it.
You're wrong - firstly, I don't shoot people in the street, not even creeps like Grendel.
Secondly, if I stooped so low, I wouldn't miss.
Thirdly, that kind of set-up is just not me.
It's too crude, it lacks finesse.
Hoppy, you know me, wouldn't you swear that I'm incapable of an assassination attempt displaying so little artistic integrity? I wouldn't say that, boss.
Why not? -I don't know what it means.
One thing I haven't told you.
We've got your gun.
What? I found it myself opposite Grendel's apartment.
You're sure it's mine? Don't you have a permit for a Beretta.
32? That's what we've got.
Records are checking registrations.
Which will be listed under my name.
Well, if it isn't, you'll have my most abject apology.
Fernack, when I start making that kind of mistake, you won't have to come and arrest me, I'll come down and give myself up.
(Man) Call for Inspector Fernack.
Here.
Fernack.
Yes.
OK, thanks.
(Templar) Bad news? The gun isn't yours.
Oh, John Henry? How about that abject apology? Drop dead.
Come on, boys.
You'll make Captain of Detectives yet.
You may be off the hook, but what I said earlier still goes.
One step out of line and you'll get it.
Yes, sir.
Oh, John Henry.
As a matter of interest, whose gun was it? Lester Boyd's.
Well, what about it, Mr Templar? Fine.
Ricci, you're certain you didn't see who fired that shot? Yes.
-You didn't see anybody? No, nobody.
I didn't see anything, either.
Do you ever? I have enemies.
What man in my position hasn't? Helps to know their names, don't it? Otherwise you get scared.
Verna, you're thinking again.
That's not why I keep you around.
Good evening.
I'm here tonight because the man Who should be in this chair is dead.
As you know, a few minutes after last night's programme, Lester Boyd was blown to bits by a bomb planted in his apartment.
'A fine man and a fine reporter Was murdered for speaking the truth 'about Nat Grendel, 'boss of the International Liveryman's Union, 'who has added another murder to his list of crimes 'against his own union members and against the state.
'Grendel, if you're watching this' He's cute.
-Shut up.
'Lester Boyd may be dead, but his voice still lives on in these notes - 'the detailed records of your crimes.
' Turn it off.
I thought Boyd's records burned.
-So did I.
This is another job for the Engineer.
Boss, you was great.
You really was great.
Thanks, you said that.
-Sure was a big night.
Needs celebration, know what I mean? I think I get the message.
You feel that tonight's birth of a new TV personality Warrants a baptism in alcohol, right? No, boss.
I just think We should open a bottle.
Go ahead, Hoppy.
-Thanks, boss.
Just one glass, mind.
Just one, We've got work to do tonight.
Sure, boss.
Just one.
What we have to do, Hoppy, is figure out our next move.
You know, Hoppy, the ways of the ungodly are fairly predictable.
And if Grendel jumps like I think, we'll have a visitor soon.
Thanks.
The only way he'll be tied to the bombing is if someone backs him up to a wall and beats a confession out of him.
Which a judge would throw out anyway.
Well, cheers.
-Cheers.
Like you said, boss, one glass.
-That's a glass? Gee, don't be like that, boss, it's been a big night.
- (Knocking) -Hold it.
Someone at the door.
So why don't he ring the bell? It's Grendel's next move.
An ambassador on a mission of bad will.
(Door buzzer) (Continuous buzzing) Jenny! -Mr Templar, I have to talk to you.
Well, take your hand off the doorbell and come in.
Oh, I'm sorry, I Call Dr Grant, the number's on the pad.
Tell him to hurry.
Well, how is she? She'll be OK.
It's not as bad as you thought.
Gee, doc, that's great.
Can I fix you a drink? You must be tired? -I am tired of a lot of things.
What did that mean? Who applied the compress? -I did.
Very neat job.
Mind telling me about this? About half an hour ago the doorbell rang, it was Jenny.
She passed out in my arms.
-Know her well? Not exactly, I only met her once.
I'll have to report this to the police.
I know, Doctor, but I'd be grateful if you didn't.
Unless you want to send your patient to jail.
Until yesterday, Jenny was engaged to Lester Boyd.
Lester Boyd! -You knew him? Knew of him.
I admired him very much.
I guess you know how he died.
Yes, I read the papers.
Someone planted a bomb in his apartment.
Nat Grendel.
-Can you prove it? No.
He doesn't do anything personally, he hasn't got the guts.
But he was behind it.
I know it, the police know it.
To avenge the murder of her lover, poor kid took the law into her own hands, and tonight tried to kill Grendel.
In the shooting, she got a bullet herself.
Well, I'll drop by again in the morning.
Doctor, nobody respects medical ethics more than I do but You won't be able to move her for a few days, but you how pneumonia is.
Thanks.
-Good night, Simon.
Good night, doc.
Boss, we sure ought to get another doctor fast.
Why? Pneumonia! He's crazy.
Even a vet'd know better than that.
Hoppy, you missed the point.
The doctor was obliquely trying to pass on Skip it, Hoppy.
Right now, the important thing is to get a line on Grendel's next move.
If he has ordered my execution, I'd like to know how, where and when.
So how do you find out? Simple.
After a good night's sleep, I shall go see Grendel and ask him.
Oh yeah! I never thought of that.
Ask him! Ask him? While I fully appreciate the wonderful work your charity is doing for underprivileged children, I regret that the funds of the Liveryman's Union are too slender for us to donate (Door bell) Ricci? -Si, Mr Grendel.
I get it.
Whoever it is, I'm busy.
-All right.
I regret that funds of the Liveryman's Union are too slender for us to make any donation at the present time.
Yours, etcetera, etcetera.
- (Raised voices) Mr Grendel, he forced his way in here, I told him you're busy.
Beat it.
He twist my arm, before I -I said beat it! OK, Ricci.
You can go.
And we're not to be disturbed.
OK, boss.
Well, Templar, let's have it.
What do you want? Merely to see how the other half live - the rotten half.
I don't understand you.
What's behind this crusade of yours? What's your angle? -I've no angle, Nat.
I just happen to hate phoneys and frauds.
Union bosses Who exploit their members.
You talk like a mixed-up boy scout.
-You're a parasite, an extortionist.
You've had dozens beaten up by your thugs because they tried to vote you out and get an honest union boss.
Lester Boyd might've cut you down to size, but you had him blown to bits.
Prove it.
I can't.
Neither can the police, so I'll finish you off myself.
You really think so? I have Lester Boyd's files.
Then why don't you use them? I don't want to put you out of your misery too quickly.
I want you to sweat for a few days.
Lie awake for a few nights.
You've come a long way.
Too bad you didn't get any honesty with all the culture.
Be careful, that's valuable.
Giuseppe Acrimboldo.
Court sculptor to the Hapsburgs, 1562 to 1567, right? As it happens, yes.
Just for the record, how much did it cost? A lot of money.
Meaning a lot of union dues? That's none of your business.
I said be careful! It would be a crime to destroy it, wouldn't it? But not a crime like destroying a man because he told the truth about you.
Put that down and get out of here.
You maniac! You destructive maniac! I paid $3.
000 for that.
You were taken.
It's a fake.
It was a copy done in Rome by Alfredo Romini.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have broken it.
Well, what are you gonna do now? Call the police and charge me With assault and malicious damage? Or call your lawyer and sue me? It'll be your word against mine.
I've had to fight dirty before and I will again.
I had to, to get from where I started to where I am now.
If you want power, you gotta take it, command it, till it obeys you.
You know what my union is? Bunch of thick-headed cretins Who aren't worth 60 cents a week.
I've got them $2.
85 an hour and they should lick my boots for it.
I'll quote you on that.
You can do what you like.
You're number one on my list now, and you're gonna regret it.
Beating me up won't be enough, will it? I have to be killed.
I wonder how you'll do it.
Probably farm out the job, as usual.
You don't have the guts to kill anyone, even if he was tied up.
Well, I'll leave you to brood about it.
But don't brood too long, because I may drop by in a day or two and smash something genuine.
Any time you feel brave and have some husky friends with you, don't waste time looking - I'm in the book, East 73rd Street.
Like I said, Nat.
You don't have the guts to squeeze the trigger.
I keep telling you, for a stiff jaw, ointment of camomile.
Never mind about that.
I want you to do something about Simon Templar.
Oh? Like Boyd, perhaps? Or do you want something different? Herman, for personal reasons, I want to pull the trigger myself on this one.
Can you fix anything that'll operate by radio? Nathan, you're asking for the very latest idea I'm working on.
A couple of days ago a fellow comes into my shop with a model airplane he wants me to repair.
And it's radio controlled so he can fly it two miles away.
So naturally, I find out where he gets it, and I put it in stock.
How long will it take? This can't wait while you experiment.
No experimenting is necessary.
I wouldn't talk to you about something I couldn't make work.
Come to my shop tomorrow and I'll give you a demonstration.
Don't forget, ointment of camomile.
Hi, doc.
How is she? -Fine, under the circumstances.
Where's -The boss? On the terrace.
Hi, doc.
-You a ham radio operator? Not really.
How's Jenny? -Nearly new, can go home tomorrow.
Good.
Oh, will you send me the bill? There isn't any bill.
I liked Lester Boyd, too.
That's very decent of you.
-Forget it.
By the way, she'd like to see you.
-Fine.
Not too long, she's still weak.
-Five minutes.
Hoppy, see the doctor out? -Sure, boss.
Bye, doc.
Thanks for everything.
-You're welcome.
Doc, mind if I say something? -Of course not.
Jenny ain't got pneumonia, honest! Got a slug through her shoulder.
You know, I thought there was something wrong with my diagnosis.
A bullet, you say? -Yeah.
Well, that's life.
Mistakes will happen.
I'm sorry to cause so much trouble, Mr Templar.
I couldn't think of any place else to go.
Forget it, Jenny.
I'm glad to have you here.
Poor Lester.
It wasn't till he was killed that I understood what he was trying to do, Why he had to go on fighting Nat Grendel.
Grendel's brand of evil seems remote till it affects you personally.
When it did affect me personally, all Lester had said suddenly came home to me.
I know what I did was wrong, Mr Templar.
I was nearly crazy.
I couldn't help it.
-I know you couldn't.
Isn't there anybody Who can stop this man? Or does he go on killing people? Sooner or later, the ungodly get what they deserve.
But when? And how? Don't worry about it now, the important thing is you get better.
If you're good, you can go home tomorrow.
Getting better doesn't seem important.
Maybe not now, but it will.
I've known Lester all my life, the Boyds moved next door to us when I was nine.
I guess I fell in love With him on the spot.
You know something? -What? I've never dated anybody else.
Never? -It was always Lester and me.
In school he carried my books, helped me with English.
It was the same way at college - parties, dances, formals.
I don't think I'll be able to face it without him.
Yes, you will.
You've too much courage to quit.
How does it work, Herman? It is beautiful, Nathan.
And so simple.
This is the transmitter.
And this the detonator.
I show you.
First, I put in a little smoke powder.
Then, the detonator.
And lastly, a little packing.
This is so interesting, I would almost do it for nothing.
Only that would be unprofessional.
Catch! (Herman) Place it anywhere in the room, Ricci.
Anywhere.
-Come on, it's only smoke powder.
That is the bomb in Simon Templar's apartment.
This is you, in your apartment.
First, you check the frequency for absolute accuracy.
And then, when you are ready This had better work, Herman.
-It will.
There you see, Nathan.
As always, it works.
Good, very good.
Trouble is, after what happened to Boyd, how to put a bomb in Templar's apartment without his knowing it? What if your men planted two bombs, one that Templar was meant to find.
And the other -Maybe.
But it'll have to be a real bomb.
It would be a waste.
But, then Make two, Herman.
How soon can you have them ready? Well, let me see.
If I start early in the morning, maybe I finish at six o'clock.
What's the matter with tonight? -Tonight! It's impossible.
Tonight is Wednesday.
-So it's Wednesday.
So what? It's choir practice, I play the organ.
(Buzzer) (Buzzes again) Telephone company.
Your phone's out of order.
Who says? -We do, sir.
Wait a minute.
It was OK an hour ago, now it's dead.
OK, come on in.
Any extensions? -Yeah, two.
One in the bedroom.
'There's another one in the kitchen.
' Nothing here, Ed.
Must be a fault on the outside line.
We'll check the cable.
Sorry to have bothered you.
-No bother.
We'll fix it in a few minutes.
-Thanks.
Figure you got away with it? -Boss, it was a cinch.
We cut the wire before we went in, spliced it after we left.
Easiest $200 we ever got, right? -Right.
When are you going to use it, boss? Tonight.
When the Engineer delivers the transmitter.
Hey, boss, what gives? You've been fiddling with that for two days.
A fiddle a day keeps the mortician away.
No, you've got it wrong, boss.
It's, er An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.
Yeah, Hoppy.
Now tell me more about those repairmen.
Boss, nobody fools me, you know that.
They got ID, the works.
And the phone really was dead, I tried it.
They was only here maybe three, four minutes.
Then they said it was the cable outside maybe.
They must've fixed it cos the next thing I know, phone works fine.
Hey, boss.
You think maybe they wasn't the .
.
the genuine article? About as genuine as a Japanese diplomat before Pearl Harbour.
"My husband Bert was a loyal member of Local 188 in Buffalo for 20 years.
"Yours sincerely, Mrs Grace Jenson.
" Well.
-And she wants 100 bucks for that? My dear, it's genuine Yin Dynasty.
So? So it's worth at least $1000, maybe $1500.
Mrs Grace Jenson, 76 Wellington Avenue, Buffalo, New York.
Dear Mrs Jenson, I am saddened to hear the widow of Bert Jenson, whom I knew well, is in financial difficulties.
Be right with you, Herman.
There's no hurry, Nathan.
financial difficulties.
Plug this in somewhere.
The vase you sent is but a poor copy of the genuine Yin Dynasty.
I will be only too glad to help you out.
I enclose my personal cheque for $100.
Yours fraternally, er, make that $150.
Yours fraternally, etcetera.
A real sport, aren't you, Nat? With widows, yet.
Where are you going? A movie.
-Stay here.
I don't feel like being around you very much, Nat.
And I don't wanna watch that.
Now, don't get me sore, Verna.
I might kick you out.
You don't look the same as nine years ago.
You know what? You and that Yin Dynasty got plenty in common, too.
Dumb little broad.
Well, Herman, does it work? Of course, if your men did their job properly.
A cinch.
One's under the table where he can't fail to find it.
The other one's behind his TV set.
-Oh, it's lovely.
Where did you say you found it? (Templar) Under that table.
Presented by Nat Grendel.
And compliments of the engineer.
We can always trace this.
Have you ever been able to tie anything to him that way? No, but there's always a first time.
Supposing you are lucky, do you think you'll get Uberlasch to talk? He'll never say who hired him.
Just on Prussian pride, you couldn't open his mouth with red-hot crowbars.
If you think otherwise, you're mad.
-We'll keep trying.
For how long? -Till we get them, legally.
Isn't it an ancient legal doctrine that if anyone injures himself in an attempt to commit a crime, it's his own fault? For instance, suppose we were standing by a cliff.
You try to push me over, I step to one side, you fall instead.
No court could blame me for not letting you push me.
Is there any charge for your lecture on legal technicalities? All right, let's look at it this way.
Right now, tonight, Grendel is playing With a remote control device that would've exploded that, and blown me to bits.
How do you know? -I heard it on the radio.
This one.
It's tuned to a transmitter I put in Grendel's apartment.
And how did you manage that? -It wasn't difficult.
I planted it while Grendel was busy picking up the pieces of one of his antiques.
Oh, very neat, very neat.
Well, here goes.
(Phone rings) (Continues ringing) Hello, Nat Yes, I was expecting to hear from you.
Remember saying I wouldn't have the guts to kill you myself? I remember.
I wanted you to know how wrong you were before you die.
Nat, I'm giving you a fair warning.
Don't do it.
Don't try it.
It's too late, Saint.
It's too late to beg.
Don't try it.
I found the other bomb.
'Don't do it, Nat.
'You're making the biggest mistake of your life! 'I've found the other bomb.
' And so, thanks to Lester Boyd, a sad and grizzly chapter in the history of American labour has come to a close.
I sincerely hope that what I have told you about the late Nat Grendel will not be taken in any way as an attack on those honest union leaders, whose efforts have done so much to eliminate unfair employment practice.
Thank you and good night.
Gee, boss, you was sensational.
Thanks, Hoppy.
What did you think? -Lester would be happy.
Thank you.
-You risked your life.
I'm terribly grateful.
-Now, Jenny There was no danger - I found two bombs.
I was to feel so smug finding the first I wouldn't look for the second.
Can't fool you.
He put the other one in Grendel's apartment.
Yes, in a Yin Dynasty vase.
It wouldn't have exploded if he hadn't pressed the button.
I got the idea from Shakespeare.
You remember the line, "The engineer hoist with his own petard"?
You know, this is probably the best place in New York City for omelettes.
They're fabulous, almost as good as those at Mère Poullard's.
A little restaurant in Normandy I go to in France.
That man over there is Lester Boyd, sitting with a pretty girl.
He's a newspaper reporter, and a darn good one.
Dedicated, sincere, honest.
As far as I'm concerned, he only has one fault.
He honestly believes the pen is mightier than the sword.
My idealism doesn't go quite that far.
Today, you have to fight nuclear fission with Well, I'm sure you get what I mean.
Excuse me.
Hello, Lester.
Good luck ith the telecast, I'll be watching.
Thanks.
Simon, please meet the girl I'm going to marry.
This is the famous, or infamous, Simon Templar.
.
.
therefore, tonight I go on record.
I accuse Nat Grendel, the quietly spoken, very distinguished but completely corrupt boss of the International Liveryman's Union, of extortion, fraud, embezzlement, larceny, blackmail 'and murder.
' 'How, then, did Grendel get where he is? 'Because a long time ago, 'he discovered election by democratic process 'was nowhere near as effective as election by bribery, 'or a speedy bullet in the back of an opposing candidate.
' Here, then, is my portrait of Nat Grendel.
15 arrests, seven indictments but no convictions.
Why? Because witnesses either vanish 'or die.
'On my show tomorrow, I'll give you facts and figures.
'I'll prove to you Nat Grendel' - (Man) Turn it off.
-'has taken trusts given 'by thousands of union members and perverted them to his personal end.
' How much has he got on you, Nat? -Quite a lot.
You don't seem worried.
-I'm not.
In exactly 30 minutes Lester Boyd will be dead.
On behalf of the New York Evening Herald, this is Lester Boyd saying thank you for watching and good night.
(Man) OK, Mr Boyd.
Well, honey, how'd I do? You really want to know? -I want Jenny to tell me.
Good or bad? Good for The Herald, bad for Grendel, and worse for you.
What have you said, Fernack? -Grendel is dangerous.
If you think he'll sit back while you hang him, you're either a fool or a nut.
Leave it to the police.
We'll get him sooner or later.
Sure, but how soon? More to the point, how late? Listen, Fernack.
You, too, Jenny.
I'm no fool and I'm no hero.
I know Grendel will try to destroy me before I can destroy him.
But the fact is, I'm the only guy who can expose him, smoke him out into the open.
And as scared as I am - yes, I'm scared all right - I've got to go through with it.
I can't quit now.
I just can't.
All right, Boyd.
It's your neck.
I'll give you all the police protection I can.
I'll wait for you outside.
-Thanks.
What for? It's my job, isn't it? Oh, and Boyd? -Yes? Good luck, anyway.
Come on, honey.
It'll be all right, I promise.
Darling, it'll be over in a few days.
Over for whom? You or Grendel? I know how you feel, but -Do you? Do you really know how I feel? Do you know I'm scared sick over what may happen to you? To us? I don't care what Grendel is, or what he's done.
All I care about is our life together.
Jenny, I love you.
Then please You heard what Fernack said.
Leave Grendel to the police.
Please? It's gettin' late and I got an article to write.
Boyd's behind schedule.
Relax, will ya? -Ricci should have phoned.
He'll phone.
(Telephone rings) Yeah? He's arriving at his apartment now.
Yes, it is.
I'll call you back.
My boys'll go up and give your apartment the once over, then stay here all night.
Fine, thanks.
Look after her, Fernack.
(Phone rings) Hello? -Won't be long now, boss.
About 30 seconds at the most.
Come on, I'll take you home.
No! Stay here.
I mean it.
You stay here! Oh, no, no.
Did you hear that, boss? Yep, I heard it.
Mr Lester Boyd is no longer with us.
Ah, just clearing out dead men, boss.
That's very thoughtful of you, Hoppy.
That one's not very dead, is it? It ain't? -Why, it's hardly been injured.
How about that? I guess I made a mistake.
I guess you did.
Now you can go put them back.
Every one of them.
And in future, I will make the tea.
OK.
Try to do a guy a favour and what happens? You wanna sling a few empties away, he thinks you got an inferior motive.
Ulterior, Hoppy.
-Yeah, that, too.
Anybody would think I wasn't to be trusted.
Nobody's perfect, boss.
You ain't sore at me? No, Hoppy, I'm not sore.
How about some hot coffee, huh? OK, boss.
As soon as I put the bottles back.
What's the matter, boss? -Mr Boyd's dead.
Blown to bits by a bomb in his apartment.
Poor Jenny.
It's pretty obvious who did it.
-It is? The man he was gunning for, Nat Grendel.
Why don't the cops haul him in? He has 10 lawyers keeping his murders legal.
What are you gonna do, boss? Take over where Lester Boyd left off.
Hello, New York Evening Herald? This is Simon Templar.
I'd like to speak to the editor, please.
Mr Templar, do you know Victor Reisel? Not personally, I know of him.
One of the best reporters in New York.
A few years ago, acid was flung in his face for doing this same thing.
Now Lester Boyd is blown to bits.
And you want to take over where he left off.
That's the general idea.
-Why? Maybe I'm a frustrated reporter.
Maybe you hate Grendel's guts as much as I do.
Mr Clinton, is it a deal or isn't it? I don't know.
Your reputation is of a man Who takes the law into his own hands.
I don't like that.
-Meaning, you don't think I'm convinced the pen is mightier than the sword.
Well, are you? No.
I think if you put a bullet in Grendel's back, you'd do everyone a favour, but I don't want that.
I'm running a paper.
I'll go with anything you write.
I'll even risk a libel suit.
Only I don't want any violence.
Understand? -Perfectly.
Will you give me your word of honour that you won't physically attack Grendel? Absolutely.
OK, welcome to the staff of the New York Evening Herald.
Now, where can I get background stuff on Grendel, Boyd's notes? You can't.
-Why not? They burned.
The explosion set fire to his apartment.
Could you keep that a secret? Could you run an item saying the opposite - that Boyd's material is in my hands? Yeah, we could do that.
Only take it easy.
I'd hate to run your first by-line in the obituaries.
I wouldn't like it, either.
Anything else I can do for you? That's all.
I'll be seeing you.
(Woman) 'Yes, Mr Clinton.
' Call the TV studio, have 'em run some station breaks.
'Saying what? ' -The Lester Boyd show goes on air.
Same time, same subject, only Simon Templar in the chair.
'Templar? Isn't he the' -That's it - The Saint.
Gee, boss.
You on television.
You could become a big star.
Another Jack Benny, another Bob Hope.
Hey, another Mr Jelly Wobbly.
Mr who? -Mr Jelly Wobbly.
He's a big, fat, old guy Who does a kids' show.
Well, he's my favourite.
Hoppy, with all due respect, it's just not me.
You understand? -Yeah, sure boss.
Now, one peep out of you before I finish (Door bell) Ah, John Henry, just in time.
I need background on Nat Grendel.
Just what are you up to? -He's gonna be on TV tonight got his own show.
-That I know.
I don't know why.
All right, what's your angle? Same as yours, I guess.
The same as Lester Boyd's.
Well, get this straight.
If anyone's gonna get Grendel, it'll be me, us, the police.
And we will get him in time, but we'll do it legally.
I'm warning you.
I know you fight fire with fire, but if you step one inch out of line, I'll nail you into the ground, understand? Yes, sir.
-I hope you do.
If anything happens to Grendel, ANYTHING, I'll know to come here.
(Footsteps running away) (Man) Five minutes to go, everyone, let's have a little quiet.
Settle down, please.
Do you mind? We're on air in five minutes.
OK, Templar, let's go.
You heard him, We're on air in five minutes.
Not tonight you're not.
You're under arrest.
On what charge? The attempted murder of Nat Grendel.
All right, Templar.
You can talk all you like but somebody shot at Grendel.
You're the only man With enough nerve to do it.
You're wrong - firstly, I don't shoot people in the street, not even creeps like Grendel.
Secondly, if I stooped so low, I wouldn't miss.
Thirdly, that kind of set-up is just not me.
It's too crude, it lacks finesse.
Hoppy, you know me, wouldn't you swear that I'm incapable of an assassination attempt displaying so little artistic integrity? I wouldn't say that, boss.
Why not? -I don't know what it means.
One thing I haven't told you.
We've got your gun.
What? I found it myself opposite Grendel's apartment.
You're sure it's mine? Don't you have a permit for a Beretta.
32? That's what we've got.
Records are checking registrations.
Which will be listed under my name.
Well, if it isn't, you'll have my most abject apology.
Fernack, when I start making that kind of mistake, you won't have to come and arrest me, I'll come down and give myself up.
(Man) Call for Inspector Fernack.
Here.
Fernack.
Yes.
OK, thanks.
(Templar) Bad news? The gun isn't yours.
Oh, John Henry? How about that abject apology? Drop dead.
Come on, boys.
You'll make Captain of Detectives yet.
You may be off the hook, but what I said earlier still goes.
One step out of line and you'll get it.
Yes, sir.
Oh, John Henry.
As a matter of interest, whose gun was it? Lester Boyd's.
Well, what about it, Mr Templar? Fine.
Ricci, you're certain you didn't see who fired that shot? Yes.
-You didn't see anybody? No, nobody.
I didn't see anything, either.
Do you ever? I have enemies.
What man in my position hasn't? Helps to know their names, don't it? Otherwise you get scared.
Verna, you're thinking again.
That's not why I keep you around.
Good evening.
I'm here tonight because the man Who should be in this chair is dead.
As you know, a few minutes after last night's programme, Lester Boyd was blown to bits by a bomb planted in his apartment.
'A fine man and a fine reporter Was murdered for speaking the truth 'about Nat Grendel, 'boss of the International Liveryman's Union, 'who has added another murder to his list of crimes 'against his own union members and against the state.
'Grendel, if you're watching this' He's cute.
-Shut up.
'Lester Boyd may be dead, but his voice still lives on in these notes - 'the detailed records of your crimes.
' Turn it off.
I thought Boyd's records burned.
-So did I.
This is another job for the Engineer.
Boss, you was great.
You really was great.
Thanks, you said that.
-Sure was a big night.
Needs celebration, know what I mean? I think I get the message.
You feel that tonight's birth of a new TV personality Warrants a baptism in alcohol, right? No, boss.
I just think We should open a bottle.
Go ahead, Hoppy.
-Thanks, boss.
Just one glass, mind.
Just one, We've got work to do tonight.
Sure, boss.
Just one.
What we have to do, Hoppy, is figure out our next move.
You know, Hoppy, the ways of the ungodly are fairly predictable.
And if Grendel jumps like I think, we'll have a visitor soon.
Thanks.
The only way he'll be tied to the bombing is if someone backs him up to a wall and beats a confession out of him.
Which a judge would throw out anyway.
Well, cheers.
-Cheers.
Like you said, boss, one glass.
-That's a glass? Gee, don't be like that, boss, it's been a big night.
- (Knocking) -Hold it.
Someone at the door.
So why don't he ring the bell? It's Grendel's next move.
An ambassador on a mission of bad will.
(Door buzzer) (Continuous buzzing) Jenny! -Mr Templar, I have to talk to you.
Well, take your hand off the doorbell and come in.
Oh, I'm sorry, I Call Dr Grant, the number's on the pad.
Tell him to hurry.
Well, how is she? She'll be OK.
It's not as bad as you thought.
Gee, doc, that's great.
Can I fix you a drink? You must be tired? -I am tired of a lot of things.
What did that mean? Who applied the compress? -I did.
Very neat job.
Mind telling me about this? About half an hour ago the doorbell rang, it was Jenny.
She passed out in my arms.
-Know her well? Not exactly, I only met her once.
I'll have to report this to the police.
I know, Doctor, but I'd be grateful if you didn't.
Unless you want to send your patient to jail.
Until yesterday, Jenny was engaged to Lester Boyd.
Lester Boyd! -You knew him? Knew of him.
I admired him very much.
I guess you know how he died.
Yes, I read the papers.
Someone planted a bomb in his apartment.
Nat Grendel.
-Can you prove it? No.
He doesn't do anything personally, he hasn't got the guts.
But he was behind it.
I know it, the police know it.
To avenge the murder of her lover, poor kid took the law into her own hands, and tonight tried to kill Grendel.
In the shooting, she got a bullet herself.
Well, I'll drop by again in the morning.
Doctor, nobody respects medical ethics more than I do but You won't be able to move her for a few days, but you how pneumonia is.
Thanks.
-Good night, Simon.
Good night, doc.
Boss, we sure ought to get another doctor fast.
Why? Pneumonia! He's crazy.
Even a vet'd know better than that.
Hoppy, you missed the point.
The doctor was obliquely trying to pass on Skip it, Hoppy.
Right now, the important thing is to get a line on Grendel's next move.
If he has ordered my execution, I'd like to know how, where and when.
So how do you find out? Simple.
After a good night's sleep, I shall go see Grendel and ask him.
Oh yeah! I never thought of that.
Ask him! Ask him? While I fully appreciate the wonderful work your charity is doing for underprivileged children, I regret that the funds of the Liveryman's Union are too slender for us to donate (Door bell) Ricci? -Si, Mr Grendel.
I get it.
Whoever it is, I'm busy.
-All right.
I regret that funds of the Liveryman's Union are too slender for us to make any donation at the present time.
Yours, etcetera, etcetera.
- (Raised voices) Mr Grendel, he forced his way in here, I told him you're busy.
Beat it.
He twist my arm, before I -I said beat it! OK, Ricci.
You can go.
And we're not to be disturbed.
OK, boss.
Well, Templar, let's have it.
What do you want? Merely to see how the other half live - the rotten half.
I don't understand you.
What's behind this crusade of yours? What's your angle? -I've no angle, Nat.
I just happen to hate phoneys and frauds.
Union bosses Who exploit their members.
You talk like a mixed-up boy scout.
-You're a parasite, an extortionist.
You've had dozens beaten up by your thugs because they tried to vote you out and get an honest union boss.
Lester Boyd might've cut you down to size, but you had him blown to bits.
Prove it.
I can't.
Neither can the police, so I'll finish you off myself.
You really think so? I have Lester Boyd's files.
Then why don't you use them? I don't want to put you out of your misery too quickly.
I want you to sweat for a few days.
Lie awake for a few nights.
You've come a long way.
Too bad you didn't get any honesty with all the culture.
Be careful, that's valuable.
Giuseppe Acrimboldo.
Court sculptor to the Hapsburgs, 1562 to 1567, right? As it happens, yes.
Just for the record, how much did it cost? A lot of money.
Meaning a lot of union dues? That's none of your business.
I said be careful! It would be a crime to destroy it, wouldn't it? But not a crime like destroying a man because he told the truth about you.
Put that down and get out of here.
You maniac! You destructive maniac! I paid $3.
000 for that.
You were taken.
It's a fake.
It was a copy done in Rome by Alfredo Romini.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have broken it.
Well, what are you gonna do now? Call the police and charge me With assault and malicious damage? Or call your lawyer and sue me? It'll be your word against mine.
I've had to fight dirty before and I will again.
I had to, to get from where I started to where I am now.
If you want power, you gotta take it, command it, till it obeys you.
You know what my union is? Bunch of thick-headed cretins Who aren't worth 60 cents a week.
I've got them $2.
85 an hour and they should lick my boots for it.
I'll quote you on that.
You can do what you like.
You're number one on my list now, and you're gonna regret it.
Beating me up won't be enough, will it? I have to be killed.
I wonder how you'll do it.
Probably farm out the job, as usual.
You don't have the guts to kill anyone, even if he was tied up.
Well, I'll leave you to brood about it.
But don't brood too long, because I may drop by in a day or two and smash something genuine.
Any time you feel brave and have some husky friends with you, don't waste time looking - I'm in the book, East 73rd Street.
Like I said, Nat.
You don't have the guts to squeeze the trigger.
I keep telling you, for a stiff jaw, ointment of camomile.
Never mind about that.
I want you to do something about Simon Templar.
Oh? Like Boyd, perhaps? Or do you want something different? Herman, for personal reasons, I want to pull the trigger myself on this one.
Can you fix anything that'll operate by radio? Nathan, you're asking for the very latest idea I'm working on.
A couple of days ago a fellow comes into my shop with a model airplane he wants me to repair.
And it's radio controlled so he can fly it two miles away.
So naturally, I find out where he gets it, and I put it in stock.
How long will it take? This can't wait while you experiment.
No experimenting is necessary.
I wouldn't talk to you about something I couldn't make work.
Come to my shop tomorrow and I'll give you a demonstration.
Don't forget, ointment of camomile.
Hi, doc.
How is she? -Fine, under the circumstances.
Where's -The boss? On the terrace.
Hi, doc.
-You a ham radio operator? Not really.
How's Jenny? -Nearly new, can go home tomorrow.
Good.
Oh, will you send me the bill? There isn't any bill.
I liked Lester Boyd, too.
That's very decent of you.
-Forget it.
By the way, she'd like to see you.
-Fine.
Not too long, she's still weak.
-Five minutes.
Hoppy, see the doctor out? -Sure, boss.
Bye, doc.
Thanks for everything.
-You're welcome.
Doc, mind if I say something? -Of course not.
Jenny ain't got pneumonia, honest! Got a slug through her shoulder.
You know, I thought there was something wrong with my diagnosis.
A bullet, you say? -Yeah.
Well, that's life.
Mistakes will happen.
I'm sorry to cause so much trouble, Mr Templar.
I couldn't think of any place else to go.
Forget it, Jenny.
I'm glad to have you here.
Poor Lester.
It wasn't till he was killed that I understood what he was trying to do, Why he had to go on fighting Nat Grendel.
Grendel's brand of evil seems remote till it affects you personally.
When it did affect me personally, all Lester had said suddenly came home to me.
I know what I did was wrong, Mr Templar.
I was nearly crazy.
I couldn't help it.
-I know you couldn't.
Isn't there anybody Who can stop this man? Or does he go on killing people? Sooner or later, the ungodly get what they deserve.
But when? And how? Don't worry about it now, the important thing is you get better.
If you're good, you can go home tomorrow.
Getting better doesn't seem important.
Maybe not now, but it will.
I've known Lester all my life, the Boyds moved next door to us when I was nine.
I guess I fell in love With him on the spot.
You know something? -What? I've never dated anybody else.
Never? -It was always Lester and me.
In school he carried my books, helped me with English.
It was the same way at college - parties, dances, formals.
I don't think I'll be able to face it without him.
Yes, you will.
You've too much courage to quit.
How does it work, Herman? It is beautiful, Nathan.
And so simple.
This is the transmitter.
And this the detonator.
I show you.
First, I put in a little smoke powder.
Then, the detonator.
And lastly, a little packing.
This is so interesting, I would almost do it for nothing.
Only that would be unprofessional.
Catch! (Herman) Place it anywhere in the room, Ricci.
Anywhere.
-Come on, it's only smoke powder.
That is the bomb in Simon Templar's apartment.
This is you, in your apartment.
First, you check the frequency for absolute accuracy.
And then, when you are ready This had better work, Herman.
-It will.
There you see, Nathan.
As always, it works.
Good, very good.
Trouble is, after what happened to Boyd, how to put a bomb in Templar's apartment without his knowing it? What if your men planted two bombs, one that Templar was meant to find.
And the other -Maybe.
But it'll have to be a real bomb.
It would be a waste.
But, then Make two, Herman.
How soon can you have them ready? Well, let me see.
If I start early in the morning, maybe I finish at six o'clock.
What's the matter with tonight? -Tonight! It's impossible.
Tonight is Wednesday.
-So it's Wednesday.
So what? It's choir practice, I play the organ.
(Buzzer) (Buzzes again) Telephone company.
Your phone's out of order.
Who says? -We do, sir.
Wait a minute.
It was OK an hour ago, now it's dead.
OK, come on in.
Any extensions? -Yeah, two.
One in the bedroom.
'There's another one in the kitchen.
' Nothing here, Ed.
Must be a fault on the outside line.
We'll check the cable.
Sorry to have bothered you.
-No bother.
We'll fix it in a few minutes.
-Thanks.
Figure you got away with it? -Boss, it was a cinch.
We cut the wire before we went in, spliced it after we left.
Easiest $200 we ever got, right? -Right.
When are you going to use it, boss? Tonight.
When the Engineer delivers the transmitter.
Hey, boss, what gives? You've been fiddling with that for two days.
A fiddle a day keeps the mortician away.
No, you've got it wrong, boss.
It's, er An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.
Yeah, Hoppy.
Now tell me more about those repairmen.
Boss, nobody fools me, you know that.
They got ID, the works.
And the phone really was dead, I tried it.
They was only here maybe three, four minutes.
Then they said it was the cable outside maybe.
They must've fixed it cos the next thing I know, phone works fine.
Hey, boss.
You think maybe they wasn't the .
.
the genuine article? About as genuine as a Japanese diplomat before Pearl Harbour.
"My husband Bert was a loyal member of Local 188 in Buffalo for 20 years.
"Yours sincerely, Mrs Grace Jenson.
" Well.
-And she wants 100 bucks for that? My dear, it's genuine Yin Dynasty.
So? So it's worth at least $1000, maybe $1500.
Mrs Grace Jenson, 76 Wellington Avenue, Buffalo, New York.
Dear Mrs Jenson, I am saddened to hear the widow of Bert Jenson, whom I knew well, is in financial difficulties.
Be right with you, Herman.
There's no hurry, Nathan.
financial difficulties.
Plug this in somewhere.
The vase you sent is but a poor copy of the genuine Yin Dynasty.
I will be only too glad to help you out.
I enclose my personal cheque for $100.
Yours fraternally, er, make that $150.
Yours fraternally, etcetera.
A real sport, aren't you, Nat? With widows, yet.
Where are you going? A movie.
-Stay here.
I don't feel like being around you very much, Nat.
And I don't wanna watch that.
Now, don't get me sore, Verna.
I might kick you out.
You don't look the same as nine years ago.
You know what? You and that Yin Dynasty got plenty in common, too.
Dumb little broad.
Well, Herman, does it work? Of course, if your men did their job properly.
A cinch.
One's under the table where he can't fail to find it.
The other one's behind his TV set.
-Oh, it's lovely.
Where did you say you found it? (Templar) Under that table.
Presented by Nat Grendel.
And compliments of the engineer.
We can always trace this.
Have you ever been able to tie anything to him that way? No, but there's always a first time.
Supposing you are lucky, do you think you'll get Uberlasch to talk? He'll never say who hired him.
Just on Prussian pride, you couldn't open his mouth with red-hot crowbars.
If you think otherwise, you're mad.
-We'll keep trying.
For how long? -Till we get them, legally.
Isn't it an ancient legal doctrine that if anyone injures himself in an attempt to commit a crime, it's his own fault? For instance, suppose we were standing by a cliff.
You try to push me over, I step to one side, you fall instead.
No court could blame me for not letting you push me.
Is there any charge for your lecture on legal technicalities? All right, let's look at it this way.
Right now, tonight, Grendel is playing With a remote control device that would've exploded that, and blown me to bits.
How do you know? -I heard it on the radio.
This one.
It's tuned to a transmitter I put in Grendel's apartment.
And how did you manage that? -It wasn't difficult.
I planted it while Grendel was busy picking up the pieces of one of his antiques.
Oh, very neat, very neat.
Well, here goes.
(Phone rings) (Continues ringing) Hello, Nat Yes, I was expecting to hear from you.
Remember saying I wouldn't have the guts to kill you myself? I remember.
I wanted you to know how wrong you were before you die.
Nat, I'm giving you a fair warning.
Don't do it.
Don't try it.
It's too late, Saint.
It's too late to beg.
Don't try it.
I found the other bomb.
'Don't do it, Nat.
'You're making the biggest mistake of your life! 'I've found the other bomb.
' And so, thanks to Lester Boyd, a sad and grizzly chapter in the history of American labour has come to a close.
I sincerely hope that what I have told you about the late Nat Grendel will not be taken in any way as an attack on those honest union leaders, whose efforts have done so much to eliminate unfair employment practice.
Thank you and good night.
Gee, boss, you was sensational.
Thanks, Hoppy.
What did you think? -Lester would be happy.
Thank you.
-You risked your life.
I'm terribly grateful.
-Now, Jenny There was no danger - I found two bombs.
I was to feel so smug finding the first I wouldn't look for the second.
Can't fool you.
He put the other one in Grendel's apartment.
Yes, in a Yin Dynasty vase.
It wouldn't have exploded if he hadn't pressed the button.
I got the idea from Shakespeare.
You remember the line, "The engineer hoist with his own petard"?