The Santa Clauses (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

[Scott] You know, honey,
I'm not sure a lot of this North Pole
stuff actually plays in the real world.
- [chuckles]
- [Carol] Ooh. Yikes.
You shouldn't even
been wearing that here.
Yeah, you're right about that.
I don't think that I'm
going to be bringing any
of my Mrs. Claus
bathing suits with me.
At least I've got
the important stuff.
- Ah, my BlackBerry. Got it.
- [phone chimes]
- Still got half a battery. [chuckles]
- [Carol gasps]
Oh, Scott.
- My jeans.
- Mmm.
- You want a moment alone with them?
- Maybe.
[Betty clears throat]
What did you guys
do with our clothes?
Oh, everything's
taken care of, sir.
A house in the Chicago
suburbs. Fully furnished.
Complete wardrobes
for the entire family.
Everything you need. You'll
have no reason to complain.
- [chuckles] That's a good one, Betty.
- Good what?
Noel, why are you here?
Just hanging out with my best friend.
Spending every moment with him.
Until Santa leaves
me forever. [cries]
Well, that may not happen. Unless
you get me some better candidates.
I think you're being
a little picky.
Whoa. Betty, I wanna leave
the North Pole in good shape.
But you are still leaving?
Yeah, that's why I packed everything,
including my bomber jacket.
Now that is vintage, right?
Oh, so that's the smell. I
thought a cow died in here.
- [chuckles] Another good one, Betty.
- [chuckles] Good what?
Interviews in 15 minutes, sir.
Candidates have already arrived.
No way.
- Dad, wake up! Dad!
- [Simon grunts]
Oh, my God! Oh!
All right, it's
okay! Don't panic!
Uh, we've just been
abducted by very bad people.
Bad people don't
set out cookies.
Don't eat that! It
might have poison, or
This is the best thing that
I've ever tasted in my life.
Hey, your nose is all better.
What is this place?
And what are we wearing?
We're at the North Pole. The
elf said you'd been summoned.
Wait, that really happened?
I thought that was a dream.
Is it possible this is
really the North Pole?
These pillows are marshmallows!
No, no, don't eat that! We
might get charged for it.
[sniffs]
[elves clamoring]
Yeah, it's the North Pole.
- [choir harmonizing]
- [theme playing]
[grunts]
[harmonizing continues]
["Jingle Bells" plays]
I think you're gonna miss this place
a lot more than you're admitting.
Well, of course I am.
- This is where we raised our kids.
- Hmm.
This is where Cal and Sandra learned
to ride their first reindeer.
They had their
first day of yule.
I am looking forward to
our next chapter though.
- Yeah, me too. Me too.
- [Carol] Yeah?
I've been making a list of the
things I wanna do in Chicago,
and none of them
involve a chimney.
- [laughs] Pizza
- [Crouton] No!
Or an elf screaming.
- [Crouton] No, no, no!
- No, listen. I got it. I love you.
- I love you too.
- You pack.
Pack?
- [groans] Crouton!
- How could you?
Will you just get
out of my room?
The girl Claus taped
pictures to her wall.
- Hmm.
- And is that a thumbtack?
They've been on her wall for
years. What's the problem?
The problem is,
I was never told,
and none of this was ever cleared by
the North Pole Preservation Society.
They reject everything.
Do you know how long it took me to
get the puppet show out of our room?
It's a miracle we have kids.
- [Sandra] Ugh.
- Sorry.
I'm going to have to
write up a report.
Ooh.
Yes! I love writing reports.
[Carol sighs]
I thought you were supposed to gather
stuff to set aside for the real world.
The North Pole is the real
world. And I'm not leaving.
Okay Oh.
Good talk.
Don't worry. I'm
excited about leaving.
I'm even making a list
of things I wanna do.
Like, meet a crossing guard.
Um, use those hand-drying
things in public bathrooms.
Avoid bills by putting them in trash
bags and then hiding them behind a couch.
- Mm-hmm.
- Be a part of a C-boarding group.
Ooh! And learn what
a time zone is. Uh
Ooh, jury duty!
- [Grace] Look at that!
- [Simon] I'm seeing it!
- Look at that! Look at that!
- I'm seeing it! I'm seeing it!
- [exhales]
- [Grace chuckles]
It's the most magical
place in the world!
It is, but, uh,
play it cool, okay?
Oh, my God! So many elves!
Am I allowed to say "elf"?
I still feel like I'm dreaming.
In a way, you are dreaming.
- [gasps]
- [Carol laughs]
This place isn't real. At
least, not like you think.
I'm sorry. What's happening?
You know what? It
doesn't matter.
Because when you wake up at home, you'll
have no memory of ever being here.
- I'll remember.
- Well, of course you will, sweetheart.
[mouthing words]
Oh, my gosh. Where are my manners? I
never introduced myself. I'm Mrs. Claus.
[gasps]
- No way.
- Yeah.
Oh, you look far too young and
stunning to be a Mrs. Claus.
- Oh. [laughs]
- Look who it is.
You're now my
favorite candidate.
Oh, a candidate for what?
- Oh, um
- Oh, my God! [gasps] Simon Choksi!
You're my gaming lord and savior.
I can't believe you're real.
- Can I touch you?
- No, Cal! No touching.
Oh, Cal, is it?
It's a good name.
Oh, m-my full name is Buddy Calvin
Claus, but everyone just calls me Cal.
Well, get in here!
We'll take a selfie.
Oh, gosh. I'm so
sorry, no. No photos.
Um, there's a lot of ridiculous rules
around here, but that's a really big one.
Oh, that's too bad.
Hey, why don't you take
these These guys around?
Simon has a lot of time before
he gets to meet with Santa.
Meet Santa?
- We get to meet Santa?
- Yeah.
You're not teasing me, are
you? I get teased a lot.
- Aw. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
You really don't know
why you're here, do you?
Wait, that's why I'm
here? To be the new Santa?
Yes! Can't wait to rub
this in Brady's face.
Well, you don't have the job just
yet. You got a 65% completion rate.
It's probably good enough for the
NFL Hall of Fame, but up here,
we kind of look for a 100%.
Well, I'm pretty sure I can
pull it off with no pass rush.
Well, there's no pass rush, but
there are some security problems.
We got NORAD.
Their radar's getting much
better at tracking us, right?
We've got chimney
raccoons. Oh, boy.
Sketchy pastries on plates. You
never know how long it's been there.
You got a mayonnaise
problem sometimes.
So got to watch out for that.
You got your Christmas deniers.
And you got your Santa traps.
Santa traps?
What's What's that?
Let's say you're
going down a chimney,
you pop in, you see a tree,
the garland's just slipped off.
You decide to be a nice Santa and
pick it up, put it back on the tree.
You grab the garland
[whoosh] grabs your hand.
You pull it, you're in
a trap. Just like that.
You see, with me, I
wouldn't pull the garland.
Yeah. And who would, right?
That's good. Okay, okay.
How about this? Give us
your best "ho ho ho."
Oh, okay. Here we go.
Ho ho Homaha! Homaha!
You see that? I called
a little audible there.
[stammers]
He's odd, yet somehow perfect.
He's odd, all right.
I don't know if we have a
hat big enough for that head.
Phew. Look at the size
of that thing. Hmm.
What's gotten into you? We
need to find someone quickly.
What's the rush?
Well, breaking in
new Santas take time.
Breaking in a Santa? We're
talking about Santas, not horses.
I know. Horses listen.
Ha! That's a good
one. [chuckles]
You still here?
Me? I was kidnapped.
One minute I'm cleaning rain
gutters, and next minute, I'm here.
By the way, I'm gonna need
a note from you for my wife.
Hey, Big Man! On a scale
of epic to super epic,
how "giganticous" do you
want your farewell party?
That won't be necessary, little man.
It's always nice to meet a big fan.
Here's an autograph.
[gasps]
Michelangelo gave me this shirt!
It's worth more now, trust me.
Peyton, he was talking to
me about my farewell party.
Listen, low-key. I mean
it. No muss, no fuss.
No muss, no fuss.
Who's the dead elf that's gonna tell
Mariah Carey she's no longer performing?
I sing, by the way.
[chuckles] No, Brady can sing.
Anyhow, thanks so much.
And here you go.
Santa's Workshop.
I never wanna leave here.
Wow. Being here really makes you forget
about all your problems in the real world.
Oh, hey! Is it true in the real world
there's a thing called "gridlock,"
where traffic just stops and
you get to know your neighbor?
That's one way to look at it.
Wow.
Oh, hey!
Is it true that shopping carts fit into
each other like little nesting dolls?
And telemarketers just call you?
I can't wait to get
my first sunburn!
Those are all things, I guess.
But there is nothing
like this place.
Yeah, it's okay, I guess.
I hate that we
won't remember it.
[whispering] Here, sweetie. Some
rules are meant to be broken, okay?
[camera shutter clicks]
Time to meet Santa.
Oh. Okay. Wow. I'm ready.
I wish I'd brought
him something.
Uh, but what do you give Santa?
He's into NFTs.
Nutty fudgy tea cakes.
We can make sure you
meet him after your dad.
Buddy Calvin Claus, could
you watch the girl person?
My lack of maternal fortitude will
only make us both uncomfortable.
Okay, honey. Be careful,
all right? [grunts]
It's the North Pole, Dad.
It's the North Pole!
Let's go.
Oh! Hey, hey!
Is it true, in the real world,
there's, like, a whole department
of motor vehicles and
you get to go there?
I ride a bike, but hmm.
Wow.
- Cal, why do you have a human kid?
- I'm in charge of showing her around.
- I know this place better than you do.
- That is not true.
Okay. Then what's that lever do?
Uh
- It makes things better. Yeah.
- [Sandra] Mmm?
Mm-hmm.
[yelps]
Oh! Great. Thank you.
I needed a new
nightmare anyways. Yeah.
Well, I will give
you the good tour.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Simon Choksi.
Listen. Hold on. I don't
want you to be nervous here.
Oh, why would I be nervous?
Because you're interviewing
to become Santa Claus.
Sorry, sorry.
That's all right.
They're just priceless.
Um, do you want a
drink of something?
Uh, chocolate milk? Strawberry
Quik? Pick your poison.
Uh, I'm sorry. What's happening?
Okay. [sighs]
Santa Claus is considering stepping
down, looking for a possible replacement.
Now it's been challenging,
but your name came up as a
person with great possibilities.
So I wanna hear a
little bit about you.
[stammers] Wow, okay. Uh
Uh, well, s-sure.
Uh, so, you know, I-I started,
uh, as a game designer.
- Mm-hmm. Hmm.
- But then I expanded.
And, uh, my company, EverythingNow!,
is, uh, spiraling out of control
because our delivery
system is a mess.
That's why there's the really mean
GIF I don't know if you've seen it.
It's going around calling my company
"Random Thingy Delivered Sometimes."
You haven't done a lot of job
interviews, have you, Simon?
You know, can I ask you a question?
It's about your delivery system.
Why would I wanna hire you?
[stammering] Uh, well, uh
You know, I
Great "communitator."
How about that drink?
Uh, make it a double.
Okay, good.
- Did you say chocolate, vanilla, or
- [camera shutter clicks]
Were you told no photos?
Yes. A lot.
Right, but you tech guys just aren't
used to people saying "no" to you, huh?
Oh, actually, everybody
tells me "no" all the time.
But you don't listen, do you?
- [Cal] Um, Dad? Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
Oh, I don't think you're
interrupting at all.
We're done here, Simon.
Thank you so much.
- Yeah, I sort of lost his daughter.
- Oh.
Grace?
Oh, I got to find her!
[Scott] No, no, no.
Don't worry about it!
We have great security
here at the North Pole!
The elves will find her!
They'll find anything! No
Well, she was with Sandra.
Oh, no.
- So this is Dancer, and that's Prancer.
- [reindeer grunting]
Next to him is Comet,
and over there is Vomit, who
has to stay clear of the others.
How do they fly?
Good question.
Did you ever hear the
theory about bumblebees?
Well, their wings are too
small to lift their body mass.
Experts finally concluded that
the only reason they can fly is
'cause they think they can fly.
Same with reindeer.
Santa convinced them
that they could fly.
Wow. No way.
- Uh, uh, can I?
- Of course.
[reindeer brays]
It's okay.
There you go.
I hate that I have
to leave here.
I don't blame you.
My dad's been making
this dumb list
of all the things he's
gonna do in the real world.
You know what I can't do?
Hug Prancer.
[Prancer groans]
I'm gonna miss him the most.
You are my best friend.
[Sandra] Aw.
Wait. What?
- D-Did you hear that?
- His grunt?
No, he said actual words.
Prancer, say something.
[Prancer brays]
Um, okay, I'm gonna go talk to
someone in the woods about this.
Wait, uh, can I go with you?
- You're cool!
- No, you can't
Wait. Did you call me cool?
- Yes.
- [Sandra scoffs]
[chuckles] Okay, let's go.
All right, this is E.L.F.S.
Watch your head.
Gary, we got a problem.
[screws bottle cap]
You said you had the best
detective force in the world.
E.L.F.S. Right here.
Where is everyone?
I'm the only one left.
Fudge-It cuts, you know?
- What's a Fudge-It cut?
- Don't get him started.
We get paid in fudge. After 20
years of no crime in the North Pole,
Betty decided extra fudge would be
better spent on the line workers.
So the others left to make toys.
Not me. I'm getting
too old for that shift.
- Told you not to get him started.
- Wha
Listen, we have a little
problem, all right?
My Sandra has left
with his daughter.
What do they look like?
My Sandra, his daughter.
Human females.
Hold on. Let me check.
Why does the North
Pole need a jail?
Pie crimes and
mistletoe-meanors.
We had a report of two non-elf females
spotted, headed toward the Wobbly Woods.
And you didn't think that was
important enough to tell me?
No elves dare step foot
in the Wobbly Woods.
Oh, because of the
"Christmas Witch."
I've been face-to-face with her.
An evil harpy with black eyes
and a dead pine cone for a heart.
Goodness, you're intense.
- All right, I'll go get them.
- Well, I'm coming with you.
I don't care if there's
a thousand witches.
I'll fight 'em
all to save Grace.
Only one witch.
But she can make a man do
things against his will.
Yeah. And you better cut back
on the maple syrup. I saw that.
[grunts]
All right, let's go.
[Scott] You know, Simon,
you could've stayed indoors.
- Nope. I'm fine. [shivering]
- Yeah?
Is that teeth chattering
or a woodpecker?
Look, I don't care if I get frostbite.
I'm not stopping until I find Grace.
Okay, well, you No, you're
not gonna find Grace that way.
- Come on. Come.
- Do you know where we're going?
Yeah, the Wobbly Woods
are always changing.
They're alive.
Oh, well, that's great.
So, your one kid lost my kid,
and your other kid took her to the woods
that are alive and might have a witch.
- That's just wonderful.
- Well, listen, Simon.
Simon, no other applicant brought
their kid. You insisted on that.
I bring her everywhere.
She's my everything.
I named EverythingNow!
after her.
That's wonderful
and kind of annoying
since I'd already formed
an opinion about you.
Well, that's fine by me. There's no way
that I can take on being Santa, all right?
I'm giving it my all just to be
both mom and dad to my daughter.
Her mom is where?
Uh, she passed
away two years ago.
Oh.
That's so sad for both of you.
That's I'm sorry about that.
Thank you.
My number one goal right now is
just to try to make her happy.
That's our number one job.
We actually started a
nonprofit in her mom's name
where we, uh, we give
toys to underserved kids.
Well, that's horrible.
You just rip my existence
right out from under me.
Oh, sorry.
- You're You're kidding.
- [chuckles]
No, that's actually
wonderful stuff you do.
Listen, the world could
really use more of that.
You know, um, when Grace's mom passed,
I I stopped believing in everything.
It's really nice to see that
some magic still exists,
but right now, I wanna find
Grace and bring her home.
We're going to find Grace.
- Oh, Grace's locket!
- Don't pick it up.
[Simon grunts]
Oh. Oh.
What What's going on?
My feet are stuck. It's
like It's like sticky snow.
It's okay. It's okay.
Remember, I told you.
This forest is alive and,
apparently, doesn't like you.
Look, I'm gonna
head over there
[grunts, chuckles]
I didn't see that coming.
Well, can can you use
your magic to get us out?
- Yeah.
- [Simon grunting]
- [Scott groans]
- [magic whooshes]
Oh, great. Great. You made
it colder. That's wonderful.
I'm having a little
problem with my magic.
I suppose that makes you happy.
Why would that make me happy?
So much clucking.
I thought the sticky
snow had caught two hens.
[laughs]
[sighs]
Christmas Witch.
[Simon stammers] Witch!
Please don't tell me you
baked our girls into a pie.
One witch bakes one kid into a
pie like a thousand years ago,
and now it's a thing.
Also, you know, I don't
like this word "witch."
I'm La Befana.
La Befana, it actually means "the witch,"
or if you'll forgive me, "the hag."
But I had style.
Yeah.
All across Italy, on the
Feast of the Epiphany,
I would fill the good
children's sock with candy
and the bad children's
sock with coal.
Which, in winter, is actually
more valuable than candy.
And how did you
get to the houses?
- A broom.
- Ha!
Shut up!
Back then, a witch couldn't get a
sleigh loan without a warlock to cosign.
[chuckles]
Now, you want to see
the little girls?
Let's go!
Could you
Little help.
[grunting]
Hello?
[La Befana chuckles]
[sighs] I'm gonna get
one of those sticks.
Girls? Oh, girls?
Can you vouch for
these two trespassers?
Daddy!
- Honey, are you okay? Oh!
- [Grace sighs] Wow.
- Hey, Dad.
- [Grace] This place is so exciting.
I wish we could
stay here forever.
[Simon] You do?
Who is this? Is this Grace?
Sweetie, this is Sandra's
father, Mr. Claus.
Or Santa.
- [squealing] Hello!
- Oh, well, hi there. Look at you.
You like stuffed panda bears.
- Yeah.
- Huh. I remember that.
I'm glad you're okay.
- Come here.
- Uh.
What made you think it was
okay to bring Grace here?
She came with me,
and I had something important that
I needed to talk to La Befana about.
La Befana, the witch that has
a pine-cone heart? That one?
[chuckles] You've
been talking to Gary?
We had one date,
like, 200 years ago.
He's obsessed with me.
Yeah, you certainly
caught his eye.
First, I can't be
friends with animals.
Now, I can't be
friends with witches.
And for your information, I
come here all the time.
What? Is that where
you got fleas?
No, I keep a clean covenstead!
I mean, a house.
Look, La Befana listens to me.
You don't know
anything about me.
[stammers, sighs] Sandra.
Um. [sighs]
Hey, you should listen to her.
She's a very, very special girl.
Sandra!
Hey, hold on, Sandra. Hold on!
What? You mad?
Yes, I'm mad.
Then ground me here forever.
I'm not mad at
you. I'm mad at me.
Interesting. Go on.
Listen, I know that you
don't wanna leave here.
I get it.
- Well, do you?
- [stammers]
You keep making that dumb list of all
the awesome things you're gonna do
when you aren't Santa.
You mean this one?
Yeah. It just says, "Buy a boat," and
then there's a bunch of doodles of boats.
And then it says, "Do
I really want a boat?"
Then there's doodles of
boats with X's through them.
That's super sad, Dad.
Do you know what I was thinking?
That you could just lease a
boat with an option to buy?
That's actually a good idea, but,
no, that's not what I was thinking.
I was thinking, actually, that I
never wanted to be Santa Claus,
which is why it was the most awesome
thing that's ever happened to me.
Going with the flow is the
only way to tackle life.
It's hard to go with the
flow when you're scared.
I mean, I'm really scared, Dad.
Of Of humans, of
anywhere that's not here.
It's so embarrassing.
It's okay to be
afraid of the unknown.
I'm scared too.
- You are?
- Yeah.
I think I'd be less scared if
we could be scared together.
Yeah, me too.
So you really didn't think you
were gonna be a good Santa?
No.
I was sure I wouldn't be a good Santa.
I thought it was the worst choice ever.
So what happened?
[sighs]
I started seeing it
through Charlie's eyes,
and it changed me
for the better.
[chuckles]
Maybe it was in me all the time,
and and I just didn't know it.
Grace, um, Santa asked
me to be the next Santa.
- What?
- But I said no.
- What?
- And then he asked me again.
Dad, don't be crazy! Take the
job! Be Santa! I love it here!
You do love it here?
Yes.
Okay, I mean, I always said I
wanted to be on top of the world.
I just never thought,
you know, literally.
- Dad.
- Okay!
- I mean, I'll I'll take the job!
- [Carol] Yay!
Listen, you're gonna have to make
decisions a lot quicker on Christmas Eve.
I-I-I can't believe this
is happening right now.
- I have goose bumps.
- You know, it could be hives.
I think we both picked up a little
something from the witch's house.
[sighs]
Okay.
With this ceremonial
passing of the coat
[sighs] you become
custodian of Christmas.
- Oh, oh!
- [Scott, Carol] Oh.
- It's heavier than I thought.
- [Carol] Okay.
- [Scott] Yeah.
- [Simon] Sorry. [grunts] Whoa!
Oh, hey! Whoa. Geez.
- [Simon] Slippery little sucker.
- [Scott, Carol chuckle]
Thanks, honey.
Stay there.
Okay, well, that's about it.
- Yeah.
- You guys ready?
So, so, so ready.
You gonna tell him
about the Mrs. Clause?
No. I think that'll be a nice
little surprise. Don't you?
Okay, are you all ready to fall
asleep and wake up in your new life?
I've got everything I need,
and I'm looking forward to seeing
who I am when I'm not Santa.
And I'm looking forward to
any identity whatsoever.
[stammers] Ready.
We're ready, Edie.
Okay. Get ready
for the angel dust.
I think we're gonna have to
call that something else.
- Yeah. Okay.
- [Carol] Yeah, okay.
Wait, no. No, not the dust.
Dad. Dad, please.
I don't wanna forget this place.
No. Listen, only visitors
lose their memory.
You will never forget.
The North Pole will always
be a part of you. Forever.
- Just like all of us.
- [Sandra] Mmm.
All right, here goes.
[Noel screams]
I know an elf's
scream when I hear it.
- Seriously?
- [Scott] That's Noel.
I can't leave here without
saying goodbye to him.
Try being married
to that scream.
Forgive me, Santa, but
I couldn't do nothing.
["Last Christmas" playing]
Last Christmas, I
gave you my heart ♪
But the very ♪
- [crying]
- [Scott] Aw.
I'm sorry, Santa.
Noel. Noel. Come on.
It was perfect. It
was perfect. Come on.
[sniffles] I need a minute.
Go back! Take it from the top!
Last Christmas ♪
I gave you my heart ♪
But the very next
day You gave it away ♪
This year, to save
me from tears ♪
I'll give it to
someone special ♪
Once bitten and twice shy ♪
We have a lot of
work to do, sir.
Yes, I definitely have
some big shoes to fill.
Boots. You have
big boots to fill.
Tell me, baby Do
you recognize me? ♪
Okay. Boots.
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me ♪
Merry Christmas I
wrapped it up and sent it ♪
With a note saying, "I
love you" I meant it ♪
Spelling!
- Now I know what a fool I've been ♪
- [all screaming]
But if you kissed me now ♪
There we go.
- That's my name.
- [Carol] Oh, I love it.
- [song continues]
- From beginning to end,
everything has always been just a
bit off in the most exquisite way.
[Crouton] Uh, Mrs. Claus?
I need to ask you a question.
No, Crouton.
I did not take the monogrammed
towels from the bathroom.
I know, which is why I discreetly
placed them in your luggage.
- Oh.
- My question is, may I have a hug?
A man undercover But
you tore him apart ♪
Uh-huh.
My God ♪
I thought you were
someone to rely on ♪
Oh.
Hi.
[song continues]
Oh, my goodness. Bye.
Okay. [clears throat]
Maybe we should stay.
It's too late to
stay. You know what?
This is gonna be great
for us. It really is.
Look at this. [chuckles]
Careful with that dust.
Watch the dust. Watch the
- [song stops]
- Oops.
[whispering] My bad.
[radio host shivers] Another
chilly morning, folks.
Which begs the question,
what's so great about Chicago?
Lake Michigan
- Honey, honey, honey!
- What?
- Chicago. Home.
- Oh! Oh.
I What? Oh.
[both chuckle]
Wow! Where did
the rest of me go?
Literally, where does it go?
And whose hair looks that
good when they first wake up?
It's elf magic!
Mom! Da [gasps]
Sandra, it's me.
Who Who are you?
- It's Dad.
- I warned you this is what I look like.
It's me.
You-You didn't
prepare me for this.
What is happening?
- Huh?
- I don't know.
Cal!
- Cal!
- Don't worry. It's Dad.
Cal!
Yeah. Hey, what's
up? [shrieks, gasps]
Guess who this random man is.
[stammers] A guy named Ron?
- Ron?
- No.
A guy named Greg?
- Greg? Ron? What What It's Dad. Me.
- What is wrong with him?
Oh, Dad!
Oh. You warned me you'd look
different, but this is
I don't know.
Are you Are you okay? Is
Is the real world killing you?
- No, I'm fine.
- What?
Stop touching me like that.
Okay, well, I'm finer than fine.
- Yeah?
- 'Cause, guess what.
- What?
- It's 8 degrees outside.
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
Above zero!
- Summer!
- [Cal] Yeah!
[Sandra] Let's go.
You look great.
Welcome home.
Yeah, right?
[Cal, Sandra shouting]
- [Scott] Look at that.
- [Carol] Aw.
Running through
slush in their pj's.
- [Carol] They're so excited. This
- [Scott] Yeah.
This is good.
It's gonna work.
Yeah.
[energy crackling]
[whimpers]