The Serpent Queen (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

Previously, on The Serpent Queen
I'm afraid I have bad news.
Your uncle, the pope, well, he's
Medici pig.
He's dead.
If the dowry's not paid,
and you are not pregnant,
we will all be sent back to Italy.
Perhaps I can be of service,
since your husband is busy elsewhere?
If Catherine fails to conceive,
you would have to choose another wife.
But you're old.
Let it be said that Princess Adelaide
has a very comely younger sister.
When you find life
conspiring against you,
you must find a way
to change it to your favor.
My husband, the Duke of Orleans,
would like you to consider
an alliance between our people.
I have certain aspirations
you might be able to assist me with.
You could be a real soldier
and bring back what is yours.
If Henri dies in this mission of yours,
I will make your life a living hell.
If Henri dies, I will keep
my title, childless or not.
Tell me, cousin, where will you be?
It was "It" who done it. I know it was.
Well, what have you
got to say for yourself?
Maybe she doesn't know
how to use the oven.
And my name is Rahima.
She's a liar.
Accidents happen.
Incidentally, this
wound needs to be kept clean.
Thank you, Doctor.
That's it? What about her?
She took me fucking eye ou'!
All right.
We'll give her six lashes
and be done with it.
What?
Stop.
Am I to presume this is why
my breakfast is late?
Your Majesty, this girl caused
an explosion in the kitchen
and maimed one of my girls.
Accidents happen.
From now on,
anyone lays a hand on my maid
answers to me.
Is that clear?
Yes, Your Majesty.
I thought you might like
something new to wear.
How about this one?
For me?
I've never seen any-anything
so beautiful.
Then you shall have it.
And enjoy your victory.
How does it feel to teach them a lesson?
It feels good.
Of course it does.
If you don't stand up for yourself,
no one else will.
And the attention of
a handsome young man, as well.
Be careful not to
let it cloud your judgment.
One is never safe when one is in love.
I wish someone had told me
that when I was your age.
My dearest Catherine,
I'm thinking of you
as I look out on these Tuscan fields.
I feel free here, almost reborn.
Something about the light,
so different from France.
Warmer, yet more subtle,
like the people, your people.
I feel so close to you,
so honored to fight for your patrimony.
It had been almost a year
since I had seen my husband.
A year of letters.
Distance I was sure had made
his heart grow fonder,
and his return would seal my happiness.
Are you looking for me?
No.
Sure about that?
The mirror usually shows you
what you want to see.
Do you want to see
the face of your dead mother?
You'd show me my own face
and tell me it was hers.
Well, you know that one, do you?
I know you found
that boy's body in the woods.
Did you do it?
Me?
Why would I kill a boy?
To work your magic.
Oh, was I the one
that killed his parents,
who left him to fend
for himself in the woods?
The last time I saw him, he was alive.
I gave him a poppet
and something to eat.
What happened to him
after that I could not say.
Maybe he was attacked by animals.
Yeah, maybe.
You asked for a favor.
And like I told you, there'd be a cost,
and you don't get
to choose what the cost is.
Or maybe you're here
to ask me for another favor.
I should get back.
He's home.
Hurry.
Hurry!
Ah. Ha ha.
Here they are, yes!
Montmorency, I see you brought
my son back in one piece, huh?
It was he who saw me home unscathed.
Well, this is more
than can be said for Francois.
One inch to the left,
and we'd have lost him.
Ah. I hope he gave that
greasy Spaniard what-for, yes?
He won't soon forget.
Hope you caught some Italian
venereal disease, brother.
Ah, right.
Well, that would make us even.
Oh, good. Yeah. Good one.
Madame. Princess.
I've missed you both so much.
I have someone I'd like you to meet.
This is Filippa, and this is
my daughter.
I-I named her Diane, after you, Madame.
And I th-I thought it would be fun for
you to have someone
to speak Italian with.
Buongiorno.
Well, that was very
thoughtful of you.
Yes. Well, well Look at you, hmm?
Out there spreading the royal
seed, huh, you rascal, you.
Come and have something to eat!
Men seek comfort when they're at war.
It doesn't mean anything.
Henri's victories were many.
His valor on the field unmatched.
And not only did he fight bravely,
but he was an exemplary leader
demonstrating loyalty
on the field of battle
and an unfailing instinct
for military strategy.
Frankly, this kid has balls of steel.
Oh ho!
Oh, I couldn't be more
proud of you, my son.
Baby let me take her.
- Come.
- Ah
- Come here.
- I always thought
it was your brother who'd be the killer,
but it turns out it's you, huh?
Ha ha ha. No more your mother's son.
Oh, Henri. Henri. Henri!
Take it.
Because of you,
all my ambitions in Italy
have been fulfilled.
Your Majesty, there's one more
item of business we should address.
What's that?
It is my opinion, now that
France has shown her strength
it would be wise to cede
back to the Holy Roman Emperor
half of the territories
Henri won in battle.
Give them back! Are you insane?
It sounds painful, but it is to ensure
the greater peace of Europe.
Your Majesty,
I urge you not to relinquish
what our sons fought so valiantly for
while others stayed
behind preaching peace.
Not peace, but profit.
While the new territories
will generate tax revenue,
it will not be enough to cover
the cost of occupation.
Who, after all, is going to do
all this tax collecting, hmm?
Charles makes a good point.
Does France really need more Italians?
While the Dauphin displays
his usual sophistication
in regard to foreign politics,
we can't afford an ongoing war
until we resolve our domestic issues.
Fine. Fine.
Send an emissary to the Holy
Roman Emperor with a message.
I will cede a few
of my Italian territories
Not half
To maintain the peace.
And if he's not happy
with that, fuck him.
Come to rub salt in my wounds?
We don't have time for this.
Have you been crying?
No.
Fix your face.
Don't you understand?
Filippa is nothing.
But she won't be the last.
And if Henri had the gumption
to get himself attached
to a Southern Italian peasant,
he could just as easily find
someone of royal blood.
And if that happens,
we will both be out.
Unless you get pregnant, that is.
He won't even come to my room.
That's easily addressed,
if you just want to have sex.
But you don't want to just have sex.
I don't?
You want to get pregnant.
- I've tried everything!
- Ha ha.
No, you haven't.
Oh!
Don't you know what freedom is?
Power.
Being able to choose the life you want.
Nothing else has any worth.
When you give the king a son,
you will be free to live as you please,
wander around the woods chasing a ghost.
Whatever you choose.
But you must give him a son.
Will you let me help you?
Why? Why did you do that?
I was going to save one.
Men are too simple to cry over.
- Now, get some sleep.
- What about Filippa?
I'll take care of her.
On that count, at least,
I knew I could trust her.
Thank you.
What a beautiful baby.
Henri told me you will be
like a grandmother to her.
Yes.
Henri's right.
I would like to provide
for baby Diane's education,
and I would like to help you,
as well.
Find you a place in a quiet convent
somewhere in the south maybe.
Unplagued by the attentions of men.
Henri's attentions do not plague me.
Yes, yes.
But we know
Henri's attentions will fade.
He's a simple boy.
He requires someone of great
resources to really hold him down.
You don't have any resources, my dear.
Or do you?
And if I refuse?
It's really warm in here, isn't it?
Please be careful.
Oh!
You know, I don't understand
sentimentality with children.
Mm. Mm.
They are simply small people
with all the disappointing
features of adults.
I lost two before the age of three.
You get over it.
You like an early ride as well, I see.
Having a baby in the house
makes me feel young again.
Ha ha. We'll ride together, hmm?
You ride well, I notice.
I'm not surprised.
You do most things well, don't you?
I don't know about that.
Ha ha.
I know it was your idea
that Henri should ally with the Sultan
in the fight
for the Italian territories.
It was too smart a move to be his.
Hm.
He needs you, and he knows it.
Ah.
Huh. I wonder where they're going
in such a hurry this morning.
Ah!
Huzzah, My Lord!
Wine please.
And water for me.
Ahh
You let me win.
You didn't even try.
Ow.
- You all right?
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, I-I'm fine.
- You look like shit.
Feels good being
Dad's favorite, doesn't it?
- Always did, for me.
- I'm not his favorite.
Can't blame him.
You want a tip?
If you want to stay in his good graces,
give him a prince, not a bastard.
Maybe time for a
a new wife?
- Medicis get pregnant late.
- Oh, yeah.
And besides, the children you
have with the woman you marry
will be far more important than mine.
I pity the woman I marry.
No doubt I shall make her
as miserable as I am.
Henri.
Oh! Mother dearest.
Shut the fuck up.
You can be a real asshole,
you know that?
I know. That's the tragedy.
I need you to do something.
It won't be pleasant,
but you will do it for me.
Of course.
I didn't think it could get any worse.
I was wrong.
Cover them.
Having carried out
a thorough examination
of the Duke and Duchess of Orleans,
I have found them both
to be completely healthy
and able to conceive and bear children.
- Ah!
- But if you will allow me
- Heaven's sake.
- to demonstrate
Yes. Could you please hurry, Doctor?
As they are both individually healthy
and able to conceive children,
there is a, um how do I say this?
Um mismatch.
Uh, the reproductive organs of two
well-matched individuals fit,
but the reproductive organs
of a mismatched couple
they does not.
I therefore suggest
that the couple make love
"a levrette."
- Makes sense.
- Ah. Hmm.
Well, excellent, ha ha.
Well, that should do the trick, hmm?
All I could do was wait.
Are you nervous?
I don't see why it's necessary.
- You must make an heir.
- I have a daughter.
Don't be petulant, Henri. A royal heir.
What if I can't?
You always can with me.
Because you understand me.
I'll be with you, in spirit.
Now, shall we read the Bible
for inspiration?
Yes, please.
Which verse do you want us to read?
John 15.
You like that one.
"Jesus said to his disciple"
Mm.
"Show me a man who's never sinned yet."
- Henri?
- Shall we?
Oh, right. I see.
Ohh
Let's hope that did the trick.
Mm-hmm.
Let's hope.
You know, you said
you sometimes have dreams
that come true.
Sometimes.
Do you ever dream of us?
No.
Sorry.
I mean, sorry that we don't fit.
If it's me, that is.
Good night.
Even when we were locked up together,
I took the bulk of the Spaniards' abuse.
First, they were nice to us.
Played games with us.
When it was clear my dad
wasn't gonna pay the ransom,
they were less nice.
Some of the guards
took a liking to Henri.
I was too small
to fight them off, but
I tried to make it difficult.
There was a little person
like you who, uh,
he used to come in
and teach us Spanish, and
He was different.
Ha. Is that why we're fucking?
Well, maybe.
It's all right by me.
Mm.
Were your parents nice to you?
I don't know.
They sent me away
when they saw I wasn't normal.
I don't remember them.
Bastards.
People rarely accept
what's unique about themselves,
let alone in others.
So basically,
you just stay drunk all day.
That's the plan.
- Where are you off to?
- The king sent for me.
Right.
Do my back.
So whenever he calls, you go.
Is that how it works?
He's the king.
Besides, if things don't
work out with Catherine,
I need an option.
I'm not going back home
so my brother can sell me off
to some toothless old goatherder.
Got bigger plans, have you?
Haven't you?
Take each day as it comes.
Anything else is folly.
You know, if I were you,
I'd find myself a skill
that doesn't have
anything to do with a man.
My experience
They're not so interested
when things start sagging off you.
In there. Quick.
- Why do I have to hide?
- Come on.
Just do as I ask.
Please?
Your Grace.
Charlie.
Drink?
Mm. No, thank you. Best to abstain.
Yes. You're a Protestant now.
Well, perhaps just a taste.
So to what do I owe
the honor of a visit
from my father's cousin?
Well, after the privy council meeting,
I felt there were some
synergies between our interests.
Synergies?
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
The king's obsession with Italy
predates the arrival of your
sister-in-law, of course,
but what has she brought us?
No money. No dowry. No baby.
Meanwhile, she has cost us French lives.
And this is just the beginning.
Mark my words, there will be more.
Since when did you care
about French lives?
You're a patriot now or
War in Europe has a direct impact
on our ability to do business
with our neighbors.
The English, for example.
So, it's about money?
Well look.
You could say that,
but there's also the issue
of perception.
Your brother's military success
has elevated him in the eyes
of the French people.
Perhaps even above their dauphin.
If the king doesn't relinquish
his Italian territories
and Henri is sent on more
military exploits, well
You know
Francois,
you will have to govern one day.
It might prove difficult if your
subjects wish you were someone else.
Now
if an accident
were to befall Catherine
God. God forbid. God forbid.
Well, it would probably
be better for both of us.
Fewer French Catholics,
and fewer laurels for Henri.
Hmm?
Do you see?
Are you talking about
killing my brother's wife?
That's not what I'm saying exactly.
What are you saying exactly?
My father likes her,
if you hadn't noticed.
Hmm.
I suggest you leave
and hope I don't tell him
what you've said.
Forgive me. I misspoke.
You are most generous.
Thank you, Your Grace.
Can you believe that?
They're trying to kill your mistress.
Don't worry. They don't got the balls.
You seem different today, Principessa.
Happy.
I'm late.
Thank God for that.
Congratulations, Duchessina.
In conclusion, the Holy Roman Emperor
appreciates your offer,
but it is not enough for peace.
Ah. Hmm. I see.
Um , and, uh,
what would be enough?
It is difficult to say.
Try.
Perhaps we could discuss Umbria?
It is far from France and will
cost you dearly to maintain.
Perhaps we can divide
the taxes we collect.
It's not a terrible idea.
What?
Are we haggling now?
We had to fight a war for a dowry.
We didn't even want the Italian bitch
in the first place.
She's been nothing but trouble
from the start.
She looks like the
back end of an ass,
and she can't even get herself
knocked up properly.
Now, we're being insulted all
over Europe by clowns like this.
Well, perhaps we should
continue this another time
when the Dauphin's feeling better.
- I feel fine.
- You're drunk.
When will you see
that she's been a curse on this house
since she got here?
My son forgets himself.
Uh, you can leave us.
I need to consult with my privy council
on this matter.
You little shit!
You ever speak to me like that again,
in front of anyone,
I will cut your throat.
You understand me?
I'm sorry.
Your brother wins a war.
Your brother has a wife
with a good head on her shoulders.
What do you have, eh?
Huh? You think you can be king?
Please. Please.
A king is never bitter.
A king never lets his enemies
know what he is thinking.
And a king
is not a petty,
jealous drunk.
Aah!
Oh, get away from me!
I'm bleeding.
Your body will not cooperate,
if you force it.
You must be calm.
You must be at peace.
When I was a girl,
I was very slow to develop.
It was a problem,
as I was promised in marriage
on my 14th birthday.
I used to lie down and pray
to wake up a woman.
And then, one day,
I thought to myself,
perhaps I've been blessed.
Perhaps, I will live as a man
with the mind of a woman.
I will be something special.
All powerful.
So I stopped praying.
And then, of course, my wish came true.
I became a woman
and I was married off
to a man older than my father
who raped me on my wedding night.
Don't wish for anything too hard.
Holds you back, I find.
I'll take care of these.
It won't help.
What do you know about it?
Just keep quiet, and let me
clean you up, will you?
Don't touch me.
I'm just trying to help.
You?
Help me?
You're a a servant.
And a freak.
A king does not fuck freaks.
- I'll clean that up.
- No.
You will leave.
You're only here for my entertainment,
and I am no longer entertained.
You repulse me.
Then I guess I was wrong about you.
Shame.
I tried to follow Diane's advice,
but it was hard not
to wish things were different,
and I was so completely alone.
I sought guidance wherever I could.
Oh!
Oh ah ah
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Fuck.
No, no, no, no.
- No
- Hey, hey, hey!
It's me. It's me. It's me.
Catherine, it's hey! Stop it.
Stop it. It's me. It's me.
You're all right.
It's me. It's me.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
You came for me.
Of course I did.
You're my wife.
You all right?
There is no doubt that
someone wishes my wife ill.
It's my belief that my brother
the Dauphin
and the Prince of the Blood,
Charles of Bourbon, are responsible.
No. No. You make me sad, apart from
- Silence.
- anything else. You really
On what basis do you
make this accusation?
A servant overheard a plan discussed.
Bring this servant forward then.
I will not.
Because she does not exist.
What makes you think it's a she?
You're in a mood, aren't you?
Is your blood in?
- As a matter of fact, it isn't.
- I'm sorry. I'm lost.
Why would I want to kill your wife?
To end my father's claim on Italy.
Does sound like you, actually.
I find it a bit hard to believe,
for a variety of reasons.
Henri, do you really believe
that your brother would do such a thing,
after all you've been through together?
I believe my wife was attacked.
Yeah. But b-by common thieves.
Isn't that true, Montmorency?
Stands to reason.
Bandits are known
to operate in the area.
- Hmm.
- There you are, hmm?
Now, you mustn't ride without
an escort in the future, my dear.
Understood?
What's wrong with her?
I could not expect Henri
to take care of me.
He could barely take care of himself.
Thought I might see you today.
I heard you had some trouble.
I must get pregnant.
I'll pay what's required.
Are you sure about that?
We'll see.
When the time comes,
you'll be faced with a choice,
a price you may choose not to pay.
But if you do choose to pay it,
you will get what you want.
Is that it?
There are lots of
dangerous things in the forest.
Make sure you don't pick
the wrong mushrooms.
And take this.
Might come in useful.
Sebastio?
I wonder if this is
the most expensive item
- ever recorded.
- The most expensive?
It's really the stuff
that takes the longest to get.
- There are some buttons
- Oh!
You'd be surprised. Principessa.
Ah, what a surprise.
Hello, darling. I heard you had a fall.
Are you feeling better?
Yeah. Um, Sebastio,
you haven't come to my chambers lately.
I-I thought I would come to you.
Would you excuse me
one moment, Your Majesty?
Uh, actually, I'm going
to need uh, a little more time.
Waiting.
Yes, I do apologize. One more moment.
Okay. I really need to talk to you.
- Later.
- No, no, no. Now.
The queen is waiting for me.
This could be a good thing for me.
Can you please, please go?
Wait. Wait.
Not a bad time for me to have come?
No. No, no, no.
There's always something with her.
Terribly vain.
Ooh. There they go!
Point. My serve.
Point. My serve.
Ugh
- Ah!
- Point. My serve.
I need a minute.
No, you don't.
Ah!
Oh, stop playing around, you pisshead!
I said I wasn't ready.
I need some water.
Someone better get him some water.
I'm not doing it.
Sebastio.
- Francois.
- I can't get up.
Ow!
Come on.
- Play on!
- God
Come on!
Hey, friend, come on.
Francois, get up. Come on.
Hey. Stop fucking around. Come on.
Hey, he's not breathing. Get the doctor!
Hey, what are you doing standing around?
Go get the fucking doctor!
Henri said he's not breathing.
My love, I'm sure the Dauphin
will be all right.
He's strong, like you.
Well?
Your Majesty
I'm so sorry.
I believe his death
was due to heart failure
brought on by excessive stimulation.
Compared to a normal heart,
the Dauphin's was quite enlarged.
Probably since he was a child.
And his skin was discolored,
having absorbed a bluish tint.
He was poisoned.
What?
But there was no burn on the esophagus,
as poison may create,
and nor was there anything
we could detect in his stomach.
That's because they cover their tracks.
My son did not die from stimulant.
Do you understand me?
Your Majesty.
But who would do such a thing?
That fucking ingrate in Madrid!
- Your brother, that's who.
- No.
He wants a fucking war, he'll have one.
Your Majesty, you heard
what the doctor said.
I don't care what the doctor said!
That cunt in Madrid poisoned my son.
I will do an exhaustive investigation,
if there's any reason for suspicion.
My son is dead.
What more reason do you need?
Perhaps someone with
a personal grievance,
rather than a political one.
Oh. Find the man who killed my son,
so I can watch him die.
You know
Italians are known poisoners.
Well, and considering the accusations
she recently leveled
against the Dauphin
Well, that would be motive, wouldn't it?
I did everything they said.
They told me I needed to get pregnant.
I let the doctors investigate me.
They tried to kill me.
I was abandoned in the king's court.
Nothing worked.
Now they're going to hang me
for the murder of the Dauphin.
They would never. Calm down.
It's gonna be all right.
No, it's not.
We're not safe. Don't you see?
We will never be safe.
Did you do it? Did you poison him?
Of course not.
You went to see Ruggieri.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Is that man your dressmaker, Princess?
We found this book in his workshop.
Apparently, he's been studying
the uses of poison mushrooms.
I've never seen that
book before in my life.
Tell them, Principessa.
You have something to say, Princess?
Principessa?
Keep your hand
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
You see what's happening here,
don't you?
The king has decided an agent of
our enemy has murdered his son.
That means there will be war,
unless we can convince him
of a personal grievance.
So my question.
Was it you or your dressmaker?
Don't. Don't.
Because I don't feel like
fighting another war.
Someone's gotta die.
Don't!
Forgive him.
Don't. Please. Please. Please!
You know it wasn't
Damn you!
No! No!
- It had to be done.
- It wasn't me!
Principessa, no!
Aah!
No!
Did everything I could.
Did you?
The Holy Roman Emperor thanks you
and extends his condolences.
Wise decision, Your Highness.
And a relief the Holy Roman Emperor
would not stoop so low
as to harm your son.
My son would not have agreed with you.
Well, your son wasn't always rational.
God rest his soul.
You think I'm wrong
to sentence that man to death
for his murder?
I think you are a father bereaved.
Ha!
What do you know about it?
You always hated him!
No. Your Majesty,
I'm your humble servant.
I would do anything
to protect your children,
as if they were my own.
You have my word.
If I remember correctly,
you abandoned your children
to look after mine.
What good is your word?
You question my loyalty?
Oh, I do more than that.
I want you to leave this court today.
I never want to see your face again!
Is that understood?
I have dedicated my life to you.
Well, what a waste.
Yah!
Ah
Aah!
Ah! Ahh!
It's too tight. I can't breathe.
Everything hurts.
With Ruggieri there's always a price.
Now you know what you bought.
You're pregnant.
May I present
your new Dauphin and Dauphine,
who is with child.
You know what this means.
If she's willing to
give up Sebastio, none of us are safe.
Oh. Hello.
Rahima.
My dear daughter-in-law Queen Mary.
Mary.
Mary.
Mary.
Mary.
The queen has insisted that
all her maids be named Mary,
to avoid confusion, no doubt.
It's most thoughtful.
In honor of the Virgin Mother
of our savior.
I'm sure she would be flattered.
What a lovely dress.
Yes.
I thought you wouldn't miss it,
as you are now mourning for my dear son.
As am I.
Yes.
Although some of us less ostentatiously.
Keep it.
It looks better on you anyway.
Ignore their jealousy.
You see, if Charles IX is king,
we will all be bending our knee
to that Italian witch.
I will do everything in my power
to make sure that doesn't happen.
As the king's widow,
the throne is rightfully mine.