The Smoke (2014) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1 I'm going to find Gog and his mate.
You got the child support, yeah? Yeah, I've got it.
How? First time in six months you're Daddy Warbucks.
Cage fighting, that's all.
He doesn't like me.
He does.
Guv likes everyone.
There were millions of times I nearly walked out of that hospital.
But you didn't.
But not because I'm Mary bloody Magdalen.
It's because I love you.
I told you, he went for a drink with Asbo.
Don't.
Mal, please don't.
Mal, Rob, grab the working at height gear.
Who else? I'll go up, gaffer.
Spike.
Come on, then.
How we doing in there? On our way up now, guv.
Excuse me! Excuse me.
Excuse me? Hello? I'm Cindy Cornell.
HELP! Aargh! Ouch.
You've been in the wars, haven't you? What happened there? AARGH! Oh, man.
I can't believe we're going out with Asbo.
Don't start.
Little Al don't like him.
Rob don't like him.
Mince don't like him.
I like him.
You can't write someone off just cos of their postcode.
I can.
See, there's no bag so there's no loss of suction.
What's it? A Dyson, is it? Nah, it's a Dysoni.
Very similar, it's just from Tokyo.
I keep telling you about these presents, George.
It's too much.
You don't have to do it.
Yeah, but I want to, so just just take it.
George.
Pack it in.
You'll be wanting to get off now, I expect.
Mind how you go.
He's got Churchill Estate running through him like a stick of fucking rock.
Some people, it's game over from day one, you know? Thing is, Mal, you go round thinking like that, pretty soon you wind up wanting to top yourself.
Know what I mean? Give him a chance.
I have given him a chance.
Well, give him another one, then! By the way, your dad rung.
Out in two weeks.
Ain't got nowhere to go, as per.
I goes to him, "If you think you're stopping here" Don't let him, Mum.
Excuse me! I did tell him! I said I'm using the spare room for my quilting.
He goes, "I can always come in with you!" Yeah, like that is exactly what I need three weeks after a hysterectomy! You have a good time, boy.
I'm dead proud of you.
Mum, leave it out.
Yeah, I know.
I'll be all right in a minute! It's this bloody HRT.
Go on, off you go! So.
You got any further with the erm you know, the wedding? Nah, wedding's off.
Look at it! In my car! I've told her, hundreds of times I've told her.
Disgusting! Woman's an animal! Look at you.
New boots and panties.
Want to go down the Boleyn? Nah.
Going up Romford.
Work thing.
A work thing, is it? What's that mean? No scum allowed? Not being funny, mate, but you've been shutting me out recently.
Got to admit it.
Get a move on, Asbo! What they call you ASBO for? You ain't got an ASBO.
Just a nickname.
I've got to go, Gog.
No, it's rude is what it is.
It's disrespectful.
I ain't having that.
Worse things they could call you though, eh, Chubs? Don't know the half of it, do they, Kev and the gang? You follow me, I'll throw you down them fucking stairs! Want to watch Strictly, Mrs S? Go away George.
I'm having me bath.
Just, you know, really happy for you both.
Oh, cheers mate.
And a cranberry juice for me.
What about a dry white wine? Nah, I'm just joking mate.
Give us another beer and six shots of that blue stuff.
Blimey! What happened to no drinking in front of the Watch? Oh, well.
In for a penny.
Oof! She's friendly.
Jesus, Asbo! You going to let anyone else get a word in edgeways? Right.
One two three.
Come on, Al! So, there's no problems then? No.
No problems.
That's good! That's good.
Well, best of luck.
Listen.
He knows, don't he? I mean, he's not going to get carried away? No, course not.
But he will do whatever it takes to make it look real.
And so will you.
Yeah.
You'll be fine.
I'll see you after.
We'll have a little drink.
Oh, fuu .
.
king idiot sometimes.
His mum says he was dropped on his head.
You were the one reported it? Thought something was up, he was out at 6:30am.
He doesn't normally get up till Cash in the Attic.
Well, make a story for the grandkids, won't it? Oh, yeah! Cos that's what this world needs - that man reproducing.
Right.
Listen, can you stick around? He's in quite a bit of distress up there.
Supposed to be in Ipswich by four.
Can I do anything, guv? No, you're all right.
Just tell him you're down here.
Tell him he's safe, you love him.
Baby, just stay calm.
It's going to be all right.
It's going to be all right my darling, I'm here.
I'm here.
That sort of thing? Yeah.
Perfect.
No, no, no.
That one's Kev's.
Sure he wouldn't mind sharing though.
Ladies and gentlemen! Will you please make some noise for our competitors tonight? First up it's Al "The Fireman" Sackett! And fighting him, it's the Devil of Dagenham, Johnson "Spider" Webb! Whoo! Go on, Al! He bit my fucking ear! Romford Rules, mate.
And the winner of round one is Johnson "Spider" Webb! Rob, go and see if he's all right.
Boo! Boo! I said to you, don't tell no-one! And you bring them all down here? Thought you'd appreciate it.
Maybrick.
The organiser.
He's paying me to throw the fight.
What are you doing that for? You could smash it.
Cos he's paying me five grand more not to! Little thing called economics, Rob, ever heard of it? Bank won't extend my overdraft.
I owe you, what, £600 in rent? I'm behind in my child support.
Tina won't let me see Liam tomorrow if I don't show her anything.
I'm just I'm drowning a bit here, mate, and now I've got an audience of my closest friends to watch to watch me eat shit! OK, right, well I think I can see now.
Do you? Do you, Rob? Yeah, but I mean Well, what's the worst that could happen? He might kill me! Ref says get a move on.
Crowd's getting ugly.
They're not real.
They are.
They never are! How d'you know? Cos she made me feel them.
What? Come on, let's get this over with.
What do you mean she made you feel them? Hold onto your breakfast, boys.
Anyway, think it's healthy for a couple to have secrets.
I never told Dave about my lesbian relationship.
Jools, it wasn't.
You snogged Hayley Bynes once.
And she felt my boobs.
OK, but Jesus, Trish.
I'm not being nasty or nothing but it happened ten years ago.
It isn't like he's going to leave you now, is it? Not with his phht you know, state.
Hiya boys.
Room for a little one? Wow.
Babe, what you doing here? Sorry.
I should've rung first.
Nah, nah.
Just thought, you know, Watch night out.
Might get a bit rowdy.
Well, I can I can go if you want.
No, no, no.
No, I just I thought maybe it wasn't your, erm Cup of mindless violence? Hey! D'you fancy a I'm going to go to the bar.
Great minds! I came twice in the shower this morning.
I'm fine thanks, Julia.
How are you? Cos I was thinking about you.
And Denzel Washington.
I was thinking about you both kissing.
You've got quite an active imagination.
Yeah.
People say that.
Sorry.
I had a falafel for my tea.
Jules, do you want a drink? Yeah.
Cheers, thanks.
Why don't you give us a hand? Thanks.
You look great.
Cheers.
I scrub up, don't I? Yeah.
Erm, do you think we should talk? Jesus, Mal! What you wearing? Eau de Budweiser? Nice work, Germaine Greer! Erm it's Tanya! God.
Hey! Asbo! You ledge! Mwah! Trish! Trish! TRISH! Ladies.
Now, babe! Mate, listen.
Listen! I got the best bloody best man, right.
Cos there's mates, right? And there's mates, right? And you're I'm not.
No, no, no.
I'm not having that.
The way you've been there for Trish and me, you know I can't.
Just get off.
What? I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know why I always have to Cos you're my best You know, you're the best I'm so sorry, mate.
Me and Trish It wasn't It was a one off, you know.
It was We was both Because And you can blame me much as you like because she wasn't She was looking for you and she just .
.
she just found me instead.
Yeah, I know.
Mal, we're getting married.
We do, like, you know, talk to each other! Round two! Here we go again.
Come on, Al! Mate, are we all right? Come on, Al! Hey, what have I missed? Oh, not much.
Me and Mal about to fight a duel.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, no.
I'm just pulling his leg, he's embarrassed.
We were talking about you two.
Your little - dunno what to call it - fling? Is that the right word? He thought you hadn't told me! HE LAUGHS Did he? Silly wanker.
Yeah, sorry.
I had a bit too much.
Kev.
Kev.
He's not even putting up a fight! Kev, I'm sorry.
Please.
Talk to me.
Kev, please talk to me.
I can't watch this.
Oh, god.
What are you looking at? What? You fancy me or something? Yeah, you're my dream girl! Just leave it mate, I'm not in the mood.
I just want a piss, all right? You got to sit down and have a piss? Knickers round your ankles? Come on! Get up! Go on, Al! Stop biting my ear! Stop biting my ear! Stop biting my ear! Go on, Al! Yeah! And the winner of round two - Al "The Fireman" Sackett! Put your drink down and come with me.
Who are you, Christian Grey? I don't know who that is.
Say please, then.
No.
What you doing? Out in two rounds, we agreed.
Sorry.
It was a mistake.
I didn't mean to.
He keeps biting my ear! Does he? Well, that's what Spider does.
That's his trademark! What's your trademark, being a plum? You lose the next round, you understand me? Clear? Yeah.
That's your little kid innit? He's lovely, isn't he? Must be very proud, having a dad like you.
Tom! My name's Al.
I'm a fireman.
You're going to be all right.
We'll be getting you up in just a minute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you speak to Cindy? What did she say? She said yes! Really? Was she happy? Yeah! Mate, are you kidding? She was over the moon! She were crying, said she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
All right, Charles Dickens.
Have a day off.
Do you want to just get off my back? Yeah, I do, absolutely.
I also want a Blu-Ray player and Helen Mirren's phone number.
Not our lucky day, is it? Tom! Keep still! Keep calm! Can you get a message to her? Just tell her will you tell her that everything's going to be different from now on.
And that I'm going to be better! It'll help us if you just keep still.
Yeah, just tell her! Yeah, all right mate, we'll tell her! Tom, keep still for me, mate.
Where did he get all the gear from, then? He used to be a teacher at the climbing wall in Mile End.
Got fired.
Why's that? Fell off a lot.
That was nearly two years ago.
Been supporting him ever since, while he works on his music.
Yeah? Any good? Oh, yeah.
He's playing the 02 Arena next week! Can I get you a cup of tea, guv? No, just stay put.
Get up! Al! Get up! Come on! Hello, Denny! Fancy seeing you here, mate! What are you fucking playing at? Them your friends? Where's Kev? Stay away from him, all right? He don't want nothing to do with you.
Come on! You can do it! You can do it! Get up! Get up! Don't let me down Al! GET UP! AL! Pull yourself together, Al! COME ON! You can do it! Come on, Al! Yes! That's it! Come on, Al! Come on! That's it! Get into him! Where's Kev? You stay away from him.
He don't want nothing to do with you.
What a horrible thing to say.
You ain't half got a tongue on you, Den.
You nearly killed him.
Not on purpose Go on then.
Punch us.
Show everyone what a nasty piece of work you really are.
Come on! I'm telling you, you even touch me, I'll make sure everybody here knows exactly who you are and exactly what you've done.
You done it.
It was you.
I never I didn't know, did I? I didn't have no choice.
I dunno.
That's a philosophical question, that, innit? Dan and Rosa's baby died, Gog.
Cos of us.
We killed a little girl.
It's not my fault your Kev can't do his job properly, is it? Hit him, Al! Come on! And I'll tell you something else, my folks might've been pissheads, but they weren't murderers, were they? No, no.
Not like your old man, eh? And blood tells, mate.
Blood tells.
YES! Oi, oi! Where have you been hiding this one? You Den's little slice, are you? And our winner tonight, by K.
O, Al "The Fireman" Sackett! Ziggy.
I could talk to you all night, darling, but I really want to meet this - what is it? Kev? Cos this one won't stop banging on about him, will you, eh? Well, I think he's here somewhere.
There.
Ooh! Watch it! How do you get out of here? Follow me! Shall we get in? Have that little drink now? What are you thinking? Erm, well, I was thinking, be really nice to have sex in a bed for once.
Like a waterbed? No, no, just a nice normal bed.
You know, pillows, duvet and that.
Yeah.
Hit me.
What?! Hit me in the face.
No, no.
Just a little slap.
Go on, just put me in my place, just a little All right, all right, shh, shh, shh.
Shh what? We're done now, we're done, we're done.
You what? I thought you were into all that? What? Beating women? Yeah, I love it! Jesus Christ.
Mal, you don't have to pretend with me.
I don't want you to hold my hand and take me to La Tasca.
That's not what this is.
Oh, we're not Kev and Trish, are we? Thank God! What the bloody hell did you do that for? Come on, Mal, eh? Oi, oi, stop it! Come on, you love it! Come on! Just stop, all right? Come on! I said stop it! Come on, Mal! Loosen up a bit! My book group's gonna be so jealous.
Come here, you.
Go on, knock yourself out.
That's lovely, ta.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean for that to happen before, I didn't mean for it to go that way Shh, shh, shh, it's all right, I understand.
You know you get out there in that ring, and the adrenaline's flowing and the atmosphere, the crowd it's intoxicating, isn't it? I'll pay you back.
Course you will, I know that.
I tell you what why don't we do that now, eh? Save all that bother later on.
It's simple.
All you got to do is tap your digits in here.
All right, Al? There you go.
Shall I help you? Give it here.
Give it here.
Now, I need your password, Al.
Al.
Password.
Tina 92.
There you go.
Wasn't hard, was it? I ain't going to cheat you.
I'm only taking what's mine.
OK? Now I know what kind of job you do, and the salaries you're on, it's absolutely criminal.
Get out the car, come on.
Oi! Come on.
Oi! Eh? What do you fucking think? Argh! Argh! Yeah! I got him! Piss off! Get off him! Just get off him! You all right, babe? You want some? Do you? Yeah, maybe, I dunno! What's WRONG with you?! All you had to do was take the kicking - it's easy, you just lie there! I just wanted to win.
Oh, well, congratulations, buddy! You're a winner.
You're Colin Firth at the Oscars.
I'm going home.
Trish, my darlin', get in the car.
You're not driving? Yeah, I am.
Now, come on.
Kev, you're pissed.
No, I'm not.
I'm fine.
Jesus, Jules, what happened to you? I think I'm in love! No, I don't wanna talk about it.
I'll call you, yeah? Oh, that is beautiful.
That's perfect! Yeah, cos the Tooley sisters, they share everything, ain't that right, babe? You should stay with Julia tonight.
Come on.
Al, let's go.
Al! I'll give you a lift.
Oi! Al! We're going! Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was in uniform! What?! Are you telling me what to do? I'm not at work now! Oi, I'm your mate.
Bollocks! That is absolute bollocks - you are not my mate since what happened on Churchill Estate! All right.
I like you.
I just don't think you can handle pressure.
I think you panic when things go wrong.
You're not a good fireman.
You're all right, mate.
Calm down, you're all right.
Rob? You all right?! Just get us up! You've got to cut the banner! What? You've got to cut the banner! Come here, mate.
Come here.
What are you doing? You're all right.
What are you doing?! You're all right.
What are you doing?! Oh, no.
Argh! Argh! Help! Help! Shit.
Mal? Shit.
Help! He's passed out! Right.
Shit.
Right.
Mal, this isn't helping.
Let ME go.
No.
Please, I can do this.
Help! Help! Go on, then.
Help! Help! Shit.
I'm going up! You want me to come, guv? You all right, Asbo? OK, that's not rude.
Guv, get in.
Oi, that kid He's one of Asbo's mates.
He set his dog on me.
Come on, just get in.
You're wasted.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Oi! I know you.
Yeah, I get that all the time - it's cos I look like Brad Pitt.
No, no, no, we met, couple of weeks back.
What's your name? Oh, you dirty old man! Scuse me, I'm going home.
I'll give you a lift.
How's your dog? How's your fire engine? I left it at home tonight.
Got a mate who's a fireman.
Shit life, if you ask me.
I dunno.
Sorry, what's your name? George.
It's a bit Downton Abbey, isn't it? George.
What do your mates call you? They call me George.
You got any nicknames? Yeah, my girlfriend calls me Blue Balls.
You? Nah.
What's your mate's name? The fireman, I might know him.
There's a guy on the estate, his name's Dennis.
Dennis Severs? He's on my Watch.
Yeah.
He's on mine too.
Thanks for the ride, Mr Fireman.
You're my hero! You little! Oh, shit! Al! Get Tom first! But I'm hooked onto Rob now! Well, get unhooked! Hurry up! What are you doing, mate? It's all right, mate, I'll be back.
Shit, shit! Don't look up .
.
down.
Al.
Al! Mal, just tell me, nice and calm, what's the problem? His line is, his line, it's F-R-A-I-D.
F-R-A-I-D? I'm not being funny, mate, did you even go to school? Al! Get hooked on! What is he saying? What was that? It's nothing, mate.
What was he saying? It's nothing, mate.
What was he saying?! It's nothing, just keep your eyes on me, all right? Argh! I'm gonna die! All we need to do is get you hooked on, mate.
It's all right.
Keep calm.
What you thinking for the wedding? Church do, is it? I'm not really sure if I believe in organised religion, so, er Argh! It's all right.
It's gonna be all right.
It's gonna be all right, mate.
Come on.
There you go.
Yes! Yeah! Rob! Rob! Snip, mate! We're just nipping down for a brew.
You'll be all right for minute, yeah? Al! Al! Spike! Al! Did you see her? Was she happy? Yeah, mate, she was made up.
She say she was going to end it? Yeah.
Yeah, she did.
Yeah, she does that.
She won't.
Never does.
All right, mate, here we are, there you go.
Cindy? Where's Cindy? Cindy! It's all right.
I'm here.
Hold that.
Oh, Tom, get up.
Seriously, don't do this, not here.
Cindy.
Look, I know we've had our ups and downs.
Yeah? Yeah? Especially today.
Please.
Tom, don't do this.
Stop it.
But you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would say one little word Oh, shit.
Cindy .
.
will you marry me? Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course I will! Yay.
I love you! Love you.
Put me down, I can walk! I can walk, I can walk, I can walk! How are we, princess? Sorry, guv, I couldn't help it.
I haven't been that high.
No, no, no, don't worry about it.
Little Al .
.
nice work.
Anyone seen Asbo? He ran off, guv.
After you went up the tower.
All right, Mile End, pack up! Sorry to disturb you, Mrs Severs.
I'm Kev Allison, I'm Dennis's Oh, my Denny! Mr Allison's here.
Come in, come in, let me have a look at you! Go through! I can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you.
The way that boy talks about you thought you'd be walking on bloody water! What can I get you - tea, coffee? Little drop of Baileys? Tea's lovely, thanks.
Sit down.
Asbo, please understand how hard it is for me not to come over there and pick you up and chuck you over that balcony.
Right, the kettle's just boiled.
I'm just gonna step outside for a little ciggie.
Is George Gog? Are you two mates? When we was kids, not any more.
Did you start that fire? Tell me.
Was it the two of you I saw? Then why didn't you say you knew him? I was trying to protect you! You go after him, he'll come after you, and you don't want it.
he's wrong in the head.
The things he's done.
He don't care.
He comes over all friendly, but he's like an actor.
I ain't had nothing to do with him since I joined the service.
Right, I won't be a sec.
I'll bring it through.
Here we are! You must get sick of us, Kev, amount of times I see your trucks pulling up.
Pumps, Mum.
They're called pumps.
Oh, excuse me! I love all that lingo, I do.
What was that one you were telling me the other night? Hooligan tool.
That's it.
Kev, can I ask? You was that man tried to save Dan and Rosa's little kid, weren't you? Er, yeah.
Yeah, I heard that.
We missed all that, didn't we? We was lucky.
Up visiting Den's dad in Yorkshire.
Do you remember that B and B? What an horrible trip that was, do you remember it? I don't think it's too much to ask, do you, Kev, for £60 a night, not to find someone else's pubic hair on your pillow? Anyway, come back Sunday night, we couldn't get over it, could we? "Hooligan tool.
" Met a few of them in my time, I can tell you.
Married one, actually! Oh, you can come again.
No-one else laughs at my jokes.
Erm, I'd best be going.
Erm, thank you very much, Mrs Severs.
Oh, you're welcome.
Drive safely, won't you? Yeah, yeah, I will.
Thanks again.
See you.
Did I just lie to that man? Dennis Edward Severs, look at me! Did I just lie to that man? I do not want George ever stepping foot in this flat again.
Come out.
Listen, I ain't got the money.
I tried to get it, but I ain't got it.
But I'm his father.
And I dunno if you remember, but I was his mum too, for three years, while you were studying.
And I was good at it, weren't I? So when I can, I'll pay you.
But in the meantime, I wanna see him.
And I want you to stop giving me grief about it, OK? Al, you've got to start taking care of yourself.
Dad! Dad! Hey! Come on, babe, Daddy's here! It's all right, he just fell over, didn't you, Daddy? Yeah, it's all right, Li.
It's me.
Hey, it's Daddy.
It's Daddy! It's me! Maybe next time.
'Mobilise, zero four papa one, mobilise.
' Sorry.
Just my phone smashed.
I didn't know if you'd called or I tried you at Julia's.
Yes, went to a mate's.
Rachel.
You never talked about a Rachel.
Yeah, well, there's a lot of stuff we haven't talked about, isn't there? '.
.
Palfrey popped the question this morning from 1,000 feet in the sky.
'Unfortunately, Tom became tangled in the banner he tried 'to hang from a London skyscraper and had to be rescued by firefighters.
' That's you.
Bet every housewife in Greater London's in love with you right now.
'Cindy, I bet you couldn't believe it 'when you saw Tom up there, could you?' Are you? Yeah.
Course I am.
'.
.
planned for the wedding?' 'Erno, I'm mean we've not really talked about it yet, have we, Cin?' 'Congratulations to you both.
' 'Nice to see a happy ending there, isn't it, Naz?' 'It certainly is, and there's good news in the weather too, as' When was it? That night night you stayed out with Dennis.
You never told me where YOU went.
And now I know why you never asked.
Mrs S? Are you in there? I just wanna come in.
It's nippy out here.
You got the child support, yeah? Yeah, I've got it.
How? First time in six months you're Daddy Warbucks.
Cage fighting, that's all.
He doesn't like me.
He does.
Guv likes everyone.
There were millions of times I nearly walked out of that hospital.
But you didn't.
But not because I'm Mary bloody Magdalen.
It's because I love you.
I told you, he went for a drink with Asbo.
Don't.
Mal, please don't.
Mal, Rob, grab the working at height gear.
Who else? I'll go up, gaffer.
Spike.
Come on, then.
How we doing in there? On our way up now, guv.
Excuse me! Excuse me.
Excuse me? Hello? I'm Cindy Cornell.
HELP! Aargh! Ouch.
You've been in the wars, haven't you? What happened there? AARGH! Oh, man.
I can't believe we're going out with Asbo.
Don't start.
Little Al don't like him.
Rob don't like him.
Mince don't like him.
I like him.
You can't write someone off just cos of their postcode.
I can.
See, there's no bag so there's no loss of suction.
What's it? A Dyson, is it? Nah, it's a Dysoni.
Very similar, it's just from Tokyo.
I keep telling you about these presents, George.
It's too much.
You don't have to do it.
Yeah, but I want to, so just just take it.
George.
Pack it in.
You'll be wanting to get off now, I expect.
Mind how you go.
He's got Churchill Estate running through him like a stick of fucking rock.
Some people, it's game over from day one, you know? Thing is, Mal, you go round thinking like that, pretty soon you wind up wanting to top yourself.
Know what I mean? Give him a chance.
I have given him a chance.
Well, give him another one, then! By the way, your dad rung.
Out in two weeks.
Ain't got nowhere to go, as per.
I goes to him, "If you think you're stopping here" Don't let him, Mum.
Excuse me! I did tell him! I said I'm using the spare room for my quilting.
He goes, "I can always come in with you!" Yeah, like that is exactly what I need three weeks after a hysterectomy! You have a good time, boy.
I'm dead proud of you.
Mum, leave it out.
Yeah, I know.
I'll be all right in a minute! It's this bloody HRT.
Go on, off you go! So.
You got any further with the erm you know, the wedding? Nah, wedding's off.
Look at it! In my car! I've told her, hundreds of times I've told her.
Disgusting! Woman's an animal! Look at you.
New boots and panties.
Want to go down the Boleyn? Nah.
Going up Romford.
Work thing.
A work thing, is it? What's that mean? No scum allowed? Not being funny, mate, but you've been shutting me out recently.
Got to admit it.
Get a move on, Asbo! What they call you ASBO for? You ain't got an ASBO.
Just a nickname.
I've got to go, Gog.
No, it's rude is what it is.
It's disrespectful.
I ain't having that.
Worse things they could call you though, eh, Chubs? Don't know the half of it, do they, Kev and the gang? You follow me, I'll throw you down them fucking stairs! Want to watch Strictly, Mrs S? Go away George.
I'm having me bath.
Just, you know, really happy for you both.
Oh, cheers mate.
And a cranberry juice for me.
What about a dry white wine? Nah, I'm just joking mate.
Give us another beer and six shots of that blue stuff.
Blimey! What happened to no drinking in front of the Watch? Oh, well.
In for a penny.
Oof! She's friendly.
Jesus, Asbo! You going to let anyone else get a word in edgeways? Right.
One two three.
Come on, Al! So, there's no problems then? No.
No problems.
That's good! That's good.
Well, best of luck.
Listen.
He knows, don't he? I mean, he's not going to get carried away? No, course not.
But he will do whatever it takes to make it look real.
And so will you.
Yeah.
You'll be fine.
I'll see you after.
We'll have a little drink.
Oh, fuu .
.
king idiot sometimes.
His mum says he was dropped on his head.
You were the one reported it? Thought something was up, he was out at 6:30am.
He doesn't normally get up till Cash in the Attic.
Well, make a story for the grandkids, won't it? Oh, yeah! Cos that's what this world needs - that man reproducing.
Right.
Listen, can you stick around? He's in quite a bit of distress up there.
Supposed to be in Ipswich by four.
Can I do anything, guv? No, you're all right.
Just tell him you're down here.
Tell him he's safe, you love him.
Baby, just stay calm.
It's going to be all right.
It's going to be all right my darling, I'm here.
I'm here.
That sort of thing? Yeah.
Perfect.
No, no, no.
That one's Kev's.
Sure he wouldn't mind sharing though.
Ladies and gentlemen! Will you please make some noise for our competitors tonight? First up it's Al "The Fireman" Sackett! And fighting him, it's the Devil of Dagenham, Johnson "Spider" Webb! Whoo! Go on, Al! He bit my fucking ear! Romford Rules, mate.
And the winner of round one is Johnson "Spider" Webb! Rob, go and see if he's all right.
Boo! Boo! I said to you, don't tell no-one! And you bring them all down here? Thought you'd appreciate it.
Maybrick.
The organiser.
He's paying me to throw the fight.
What are you doing that for? You could smash it.
Cos he's paying me five grand more not to! Little thing called economics, Rob, ever heard of it? Bank won't extend my overdraft.
I owe you, what, £600 in rent? I'm behind in my child support.
Tina won't let me see Liam tomorrow if I don't show her anything.
I'm just I'm drowning a bit here, mate, and now I've got an audience of my closest friends to watch to watch me eat shit! OK, right, well I think I can see now.
Do you? Do you, Rob? Yeah, but I mean Well, what's the worst that could happen? He might kill me! Ref says get a move on.
Crowd's getting ugly.
They're not real.
They are.
They never are! How d'you know? Cos she made me feel them.
What? Come on, let's get this over with.
What do you mean she made you feel them? Hold onto your breakfast, boys.
Anyway, think it's healthy for a couple to have secrets.
I never told Dave about my lesbian relationship.
Jools, it wasn't.
You snogged Hayley Bynes once.
And she felt my boobs.
OK, but Jesus, Trish.
I'm not being nasty or nothing but it happened ten years ago.
It isn't like he's going to leave you now, is it? Not with his phht you know, state.
Hiya boys.
Room for a little one? Wow.
Babe, what you doing here? Sorry.
I should've rung first.
Nah, nah.
Just thought, you know, Watch night out.
Might get a bit rowdy.
Well, I can I can go if you want.
No, no, no.
No, I just I thought maybe it wasn't your, erm Cup of mindless violence? Hey! D'you fancy a I'm going to go to the bar.
Great minds! I came twice in the shower this morning.
I'm fine thanks, Julia.
How are you? Cos I was thinking about you.
And Denzel Washington.
I was thinking about you both kissing.
You've got quite an active imagination.
Yeah.
People say that.
Sorry.
I had a falafel for my tea.
Jules, do you want a drink? Yeah.
Cheers, thanks.
Why don't you give us a hand? Thanks.
You look great.
Cheers.
I scrub up, don't I? Yeah.
Erm, do you think we should talk? Jesus, Mal! What you wearing? Eau de Budweiser? Nice work, Germaine Greer! Erm it's Tanya! God.
Hey! Asbo! You ledge! Mwah! Trish! Trish! TRISH! Ladies.
Now, babe! Mate, listen.
Listen! I got the best bloody best man, right.
Cos there's mates, right? And there's mates, right? And you're I'm not.
No, no, no.
I'm not having that.
The way you've been there for Trish and me, you know I can't.
Just get off.
What? I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know why I always have to Cos you're my best You know, you're the best I'm so sorry, mate.
Me and Trish It wasn't It was a one off, you know.
It was We was both Because And you can blame me much as you like because she wasn't She was looking for you and she just .
.
she just found me instead.
Yeah, I know.
Mal, we're getting married.
We do, like, you know, talk to each other! Round two! Here we go again.
Come on, Al! Mate, are we all right? Come on, Al! Hey, what have I missed? Oh, not much.
Me and Mal about to fight a duel.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, no.
I'm just pulling his leg, he's embarrassed.
We were talking about you two.
Your little - dunno what to call it - fling? Is that the right word? He thought you hadn't told me! HE LAUGHS Did he? Silly wanker.
Yeah, sorry.
I had a bit too much.
Kev.
Kev.
He's not even putting up a fight! Kev, I'm sorry.
Please.
Talk to me.
Kev, please talk to me.
I can't watch this.
Oh, god.
What are you looking at? What? You fancy me or something? Yeah, you're my dream girl! Just leave it mate, I'm not in the mood.
I just want a piss, all right? You got to sit down and have a piss? Knickers round your ankles? Come on! Get up! Go on, Al! Stop biting my ear! Stop biting my ear! Stop biting my ear! Go on, Al! Yeah! And the winner of round two - Al "The Fireman" Sackett! Put your drink down and come with me.
Who are you, Christian Grey? I don't know who that is.
Say please, then.
No.
What you doing? Out in two rounds, we agreed.
Sorry.
It was a mistake.
I didn't mean to.
He keeps biting my ear! Does he? Well, that's what Spider does.
That's his trademark! What's your trademark, being a plum? You lose the next round, you understand me? Clear? Yeah.
That's your little kid innit? He's lovely, isn't he? Must be very proud, having a dad like you.
Tom! My name's Al.
I'm a fireman.
You're going to be all right.
We'll be getting you up in just a minute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you speak to Cindy? What did she say? She said yes! Really? Was she happy? Yeah! Mate, are you kidding? She was over the moon! She were crying, said she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
All right, Charles Dickens.
Have a day off.
Do you want to just get off my back? Yeah, I do, absolutely.
I also want a Blu-Ray player and Helen Mirren's phone number.
Not our lucky day, is it? Tom! Keep still! Keep calm! Can you get a message to her? Just tell her will you tell her that everything's going to be different from now on.
And that I'm going to be better! It'll help us if you just keep still.
Yeah, just tell her! Yeah, all right mate, we'll tell her! Tom, keep still for me, mate.
Where did he get all the gear from, then? He used to be a teacher at the climbing wall in Mile End.
Got fired.
Why's that? Fell off a lot.
That was nearly two years ago.
Been supporting him ever since, while he works on his music.
Yeah? Any good? Oh, yeah.
He's playing the 02 Arena next week! Can I get you a cup of tea, guv? No, just stay put.
Get up! Al! Get up! Come on! Hello, Denny! Fancy seeing you here, mate! What are you fucking playing at? Them your friends? Where's Kev? Stay away from him, all right? He don't want nothing to do with you.
Come on! You can do it! You can do it! Get up! Get up! Don't let me down Al! GET UP! AL! Pull yourself together, Al! COME ON! You can do it! Come on, Al! Yes! That's it! Come on, Al! Come on! That's it! Get into him! Where's Kev? You stay away from him.
He don't want nothing to do with you.
What a horrible thing to say.
You ain't half got a tongue on you, Den.
You nearly killed him.
Not on purpose Go on then.
Punch us.
Show everyone what a nasty piece of work you really are.
Come on! I'm telling you, you even touch me, I'll make sure everybody here knows exactly who you are and exactly what you've done.
You done it.
It was you.
I never I didn't know, did I? I didn't have no choice.
I dunno.
That's a philosophical question, that, innit? Dan and Rosa's baby died, Gog.
Cos of us.
We killed a little girl.
It's not my fault your Kev can't do his job properly, is it? Hit him, Al! Come on! And I'll tell you something else, my folks might've been pissheads, but they weren't murderers, were they? No, no.
Not like your old man, eh? And blood tells, mate.
Blood tells.
YES! Oi, oi! Where have you been hiding this one? You Den's little slice, are you? And our winner tonight, by K.
O, Al "The Fireman" Sackett! Ziggy.
I could talk to you all night, darling, but I really want to meet this - what is it? Kev? Cos this one won't stop banging on about him, will you, eh? Well, I think he's here somewhere.
There.
Ooh! Watch it! How do you get out of here? Follow me! Shall we get in? Have that little drink now? What are you thinking? Erm, well, I was thinking, be really nice to have sex in a bed for once.
Like a waterbed? No, no, just a nice normal bed.
You know, pillows, duvet and that.
Yeah.
Hit me.
What?! Hit me in the face.
No, no.
Just a little slap.
Go on, just put me in my place, just a little All right, all right, shh, shh, shh.
Shh what? We're done now, we're done, we're done.
You what? I thought you were into all that? What? Beating women? Yeah, I love it! Jesus Christ.
Mal, you don't have to pretend with me.
I don't want you to hold my hand and take me to La Tasca.
That's not what this is.
Oh, we're not Kev and Trish, are we? Thank God! What the bloody hell did you do that for? Come on, Mal, eh? Oi, oi, stop it! Come on, you love it! Come on! Just stop, all right? Come on! I said stop it! Come on, Mal! Loosen up a bit! My book group's gonna be so jealous.
Come here, you.
Go on, knock yourself out.
That's lovely, ta.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean for that to happen before, I didn't mean for it to go that way Shh, shh, shh, it's all right, I understand.
You know you get out there in that ring, and the adrenaline's flowing and the atmosphere, the crowd it's intoxicating, isn't it? I'll pay you back.
Course you will, I know that.
I tell you what why don't we do that now, eh? Save all that bother later on.
It's simple.
All you got to do is tap your digits in here.
All right, Al? There you go.
Shall I help you? Give it here.
Give it here.
Now, I need your password, Al.
Al.
Password.
Tina 92.
There you go.
Wasn't hard, was it? I ain't going to cheat you.
I'm only taking what's mine.
OK? Now I know what kind of job you do, and the salaries you're on, it's absolutely criminal.
Get out the car, come on.
Oi! Come on.
Oi! Eh? What do you fucking think? Argh! Argh! Yeah! I got him! Piss off! Get off him! Just get off him! You all right, babe? You want some? Do you? Yeah, maybe, I dunno! What's WRONG with you?! All you had to do was take the kicking - it's easy, you just lie there! I just wanted to win.
Oh, well, congratulations, buddy! You're a winner.
You're Colin Firth at the Oscars.
I'm going home.
Trish, my darlin', get in the car.
You're not driving? Yeah, I am.
Now, come on.
Kev, you're pissed.
No, I'm not.
I'm fine.
Jesus, Jules, what happened to you? I think I'm in love! No, I don't wanna talk about it.
I'll call you, yeah? Oh, that is beautiful.
That's perfect! Yeah, cos the Tooley sisters, they share everything, ain't that right, babe? You should stay with Julia tonight.
Come on.
Al, let's go.
Al! I'll give you a lift.
Oi! Al! We're going! Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was in uniform! What?! Are you telling me what to do? I'm not at work now! Oi, I'm your mate.
Bollocks! That is absolute bollocks - you are not my mate since what happened on Churchill Estate! All right.
I like you.
I just don't think you can handle pressure.
I think you panic when things go wrong.
You're not a good fireman.
You're all right, mate.
Calm down, you're all right.
Rob? You all right?! Just get us up! You've got to cut the banner! What? You've got to cut the banner! Come here, mate.
Come here.
What are you doing? You're all right.
What are you doing?! You're all right.
What are you doing?! Oh, no.
Argh! Argh! Help! Help! Shit.
Mal? Shit.
Help! He's passed out! Right.
Shit.
Right.
Mal, this isn't helping.
Let ME go.
No.
Please, I can do this.
Help! Help! Go on, then.
Help! Help! Shit.
I'm going up! You want me to come, guv? You all right, Asbo? OK, that's not rude.
Guv, get in.
Oi, that kid He's one of Asbo's mates.
He set his dog on me.
Come on, just get in.
You're wasted.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Oi! I know you.
Yeah, I get that all the time - it's cos I look like Brad Pitt.
No, no, no, we met, couple of weeks back.
What's your name? Oh, you dirty old man! Scuse me, I'm going home.
I'll give you a lift.
How's your dog? How's your fire engine? I left it at home tonight.
Got a mate who's a fireman.
Shit life, if you ask me.
I dunno.
Sorry, what's your name? George.
It's a bit Downton Abbey, isn't it? George.
What do your mates call you? They call me George.
You got any nicknames? Yeah, my girlfriend calls me Blue Balls.
You? Nah.
What's your mate's name? The fireman, I might know him.
There's a guy on the estate, his name's Dennis.
Dennis Severs? He's on my Watch.
Yeah.
He's on mine too.
Thanks for the ride, Mr Fireman.
You're my hero! You little! Oh, shit! Al! Get Tom first! But I'm hooked onto Rob now! Well, get unhooked! Hurry up! What are you doing, mate? It's all right, mate, I'll be back.
Shit, shit! Don't look up .
.
down.
Al.
Al! Mal, just tell me, nice and calm, what's the problem? His line is, his line, it's F-R-A-I-D.
F-R-A-I-D? I'm not being funny, mate, did you even go to school? Al! Get hooked on! What is he saying? What was that? It's nothing, mate.
What was he saying? It's nothing, mate.
What was he saying?! It's nothing, just keep your eyes on me, all right? Argh! I'm gonna die! All we need to do is get you hooked on, mate.
It's all right.
Keep calm.
What you thinking for the wedding? Church do, is it? I'm not really sure if I believe in organised religion, so, er Argh! It's all right.
It's gonna be all right.
It's gonna be all right, mate.
Come on.
There you go.
Yes! Yeah! Rob! Rob! Snip, mate! We're just nipping down for a brew.
You'll be all right for minute, yeah? Al! Al! Spike! Al! Did you see her? Was she happy? Yeah, mate, she was made up.
She say she was going to end it? Yeah.
Yeah, she did.
Yeah, she does that.
She won't.
Never does.
All right, mate, here we are, there you go.
Cindy? Where's Cindy? Cindy! It's all right.
I'm here.
Hold that.
Oh, Tom, get up.
Seriously, don't do this, not here.
Cindy.
Look, I know we've had our ups and downs.
Yeah? Yeah? Especially today.
Please.
Tom, don't do this.
Stop it.
But you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would say one little word Oh, shit.
Cindy .
.
will you marry me? Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course I will! Yay.
I love you! Love you.
Put me down, I can walk! I can walk, I can walk, I can walk! How are we, princess? Sorry, guv, I couldn't help it.
I haven't been that high.
No, no, no, don't worry about it.
Little Al .
.
nice work.
Anyone seen Asbo? He ran off, guv.
After you went up the tower.
All right, Mile End, pack up! Sorry to disturb you, Mrs Severs.
I'm Kev Allison, I'm Dennis's Oh, my Denny! Mr Allison's here.
Come in, come in, let me have a look at you! Go through! I can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you.
The way that boy talks about you thought you'd be walking on bloody water! What can I get you - tea, coffee? Little drop of Baileys? Tea's lovely, thanks.
Sit down.
Asbo, please understand how hard it is for me not to come over there and pick you up and chuck you over that balcony.
Right, the kettle's just boiled.
I'm just gonna step outside for a little ciggie.
Is George Gog? Are you two mates? When we was kids, not any more.
Did you start that fire? Tell me.
Was it the two of you I saw? Then why didn't you say you knew him? I was trying to protect you! You go after him, he'll come after you, and you don't want it.
he's wrong in the head.
The things he's done.
He don't care.
He comes over all friendly, but he's like an actor.
I ain't had nothing to do with him since I joined the service.
Right, I won't be a sec.
I'll bring it through.
Here we are! You must get sick of us, Kev, amount of times I see your trucks pulling up.
Pumps, Mum.
They're called pumps.
Oh, excuse me! I love all that lingo, I do.
What was that one you were telling me the other night? Hooligan tool.
That's it.
Kev, can I ask? You was that man tried to save Dan and Rosa's little kid, weren't you? Er, yeah.
Yeah, I heard that.
We missed all that, didn't we? We was lucky.
Up visiting Den's dad in Yorkshire.
Do you remember that B and B? What an horrible trip that was, do you remember it? I don't think it's too much to ask, do you, Kev, for £60 a night, not to find someone else's pubic hair on your pillow? Anyway, come back Sunday night, we couldn't get over it, could we? "Hooligan tool.
" Met a few of them in my time, I can tell you.
Married one, actually! Oh, you can come again.
No-one else laughs at my jokes.
Erm, I'd best be going.
Erm, thank you very much, Mrs Severs.
Oh, you're welcome.
Drive safely, won't you? Yeah, yeah, I will.
Thanks again.
See you.
Did I just lie to that man? Dennis Edward Severs, look at me! Did I just lie to that man? I do not want George ever stepping foot in this flat again.
Come out.
Listen, I ain't got the money.
I tried to get it, but I ain't got it.
But I'm his father.
And I dunno if you remember, but I was his mum too, for three years, while you were studying.
And I was good at it, weren't I? So when I can, I'll pay you.
But in the meantime, I wanna see him.
And I want you to stop giving me grief about it, OK? Al, you've got to start taking care of yourself.
Dad! Dad! Hey! Come on, babe, Daddy's here! It's all right, he just fell over, didn't you, Daddy? Yeah, it's all right, Li.
It's me.
Hey, it's Daddy.
It's Daddy! It's me! Maybe next time.
'Mobilise, zero four papa one, mobilise.
' Sorry.
Just my phone smashed.
I didn't know if you'd called or I tried you at Julia's.
Yes, went to a mate's.
Rachel.
You never talked about a Rachel.
Yeah, well, there's a lot of stuff we haven't talked about, isn't there? '.
.
Palfrey popped the question this morning from 1,000 feet in the sky.
'Unfortunately, Tom became tangled in the banner he tried 'to hang from a London skyscraper and had to be rescued by firefighters.
' That's you.
Bet every housewife in Greater London's in love with you right now.
'Cindy, I bet you couldn't believe it 'when you saw Tom up there, could you?' Are you? Yeah.
Course I am.
'.
.
planned for the wedding?' 'Erno, I'm mean we've not really talked about it yet, have we, Cin?' 'Congratulations to you both.
' 'Nice to see a happy ending there, isn't it, Naz?' 'It certainly is, and there's good news in the weather too, as' When was it? That night night you stayed out with Dennis.
You never told me where YOU went.
And now I know why you never asked.
Mrs S? Are you in there? I just wanna come in.
It's nippy out here.