The Soul Man (2012) s01e03 Episode Script

1 The soul man is recorded in front.
Of a live studio audience.
Well, I want to thank the finance committee.
For replacing the letter "B" s on the marquee.
In front of the church.
I was getting tired of being known.
As reverend oyce allentine.
Okay, so what's next? Reverend This weekend is the annual tri-state choir competition, Which we have never won.
Oh, no, not this again.
Why do you bring this up every year? I have to bring it up because we're hosting this year, And I don't want to be embarrassed on my own turf.
By coming in fifth.
Reverend, every year we come in fifth.
Fifth? Come on now.
I'm boyce the voice, I don't come in fifth.
Third, fourth, fifth, it's a complete waste of time.
Church is not about competition.
It says right there in ecclesiastes: "the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong" "but time and chance happeneth to them all.
" Uh, there's some other stuff in there, But you get the gist of it.
Winning a trophy doesn't matter.
Next order of business.
Well, hold on now, daddy, I'm running this meeting, And I want to know why we've never won.
Lester? - May I speak freely? Of course.
The reason we've never won is because your daddy.
Never let us put any effort into it.
'Cause it's foolishness.
But winning would put this church.
On the map, reverend.
People would be talking about us.
We'd get name recognition, Which would bring in new membership.
Like possibly some, oh, eligible bachelors.
I mean, would it kill us to get some good men up in here? But the point is, I'm itching to kick.
- I know I am.
- Yeah.
You are all going to hell in a choir basket.
Look, now, I'm with you on this.
It'll be good for the church, And I'll do whatever it takes to win.
That is music to our ears.
Because now that you're here, We feel like we've finally got a great shot.
At winning this thing.
- Oh Brother lester, you know, I am flattered that you think.
We are a lock to win with my voice and everything oh, ha, no No, reverend ballentine.
We got the pinkney sisters singing lead for us, And they are straight up amazing.
Well, good, you know, 'cause it really wouldn't be fair, Me being an award-winning performer.
With five gold records.
To compete against amateurs, Would it? - No, no, no.
And like I said, we got the pinkney sisters singing, And they are Straight up amazing, I got it.
Before I let you go, I want to remind everyone.
About the tri-state choir competition this weekend.
now, now I know a lot of you are not excited about it.
Since we've been coming in fifth the last few years Last year, we came in sixth.
Well, that was then.
This is now.
And I'm gonna promise you.
The reverend boyce ballentine guarantee.
That we taking that trophy home this year.
Now I'm not talking about being number five.
Or number four.
I'm talking about being number one.
Yeah! Touch three people and say "I'm number one.
" I'm number one! You certainly are number one, aren't you? You are number one Sister wanda.
Sister wanda, that's enough touching.
- Oh, yes.
- Okay? You're in church.
- The Soul Man - - S01E03 Oh, come on, bro, it's a simple question.
Why won't you answer? 'Cause it's stupid.
Look, the rules are when somebody asks you, You have to answer.
Okay, I would Date road runner, Marry bugs bunny, and kill elmer fudd.
Boyce, I have big problems down at the salon.
Jaime, my shampoo girl, just up and quit.
Apparently her husband got out of jail.
Oh, I thought he had two more years on his sentence.
They let him out? Well, they didn't actuallylethim out.
But we won't be seeing her for a while, And I've got a busy weekend because I got to do all the hair.
For the choir competition.
I'm so bored.
I miss living in vegas.
There's nothing to do around here.
Ooh, you could come down to the salon.
And help me shampoo some heads.
I can't help you at the salon.
I've got homework.
This shampoo girl job, is it salary plus tips? Why, you know somebody? I know somebody who's great with his hands, And even better with the ladies.
And he's in the market for some immediate employment.
Don't you already have a job? Yeah, what happened to your foot massage truck? It turns out you need a license and a truck.
Come on, lolli.
Let me take you into the kitchen.
And show you what my magic fingers can do.
Hey, brother lester, come on in.
Thank you, reverend ballentine.
I'll only be a minute.
I just need you to sign these checks here.
Just some choir expenses.
Okay.
Oh, wait, uh, why are these checks made out.
To rose and catherine pinkney? Well, they don't actually go to our church, So we're bringing them in to sing with us.
You mean ringers? More like incredibly good singers that were paid.
To come in and help us win.
So Ringers? That's kind of a crude way of putting it, Don't you Yeah, they're ringers.
You know, I don't like the sound of that.
Oh, yes! That's what I'm talking about! I don't like the sound of that either.
All church choirs use ringers.
This would be the first year we're doing it.
Because your daddy wouldn't allow it.
Well, believe it or not, I actually agree.
With my daddy on this one.
Just because the other churches are doing it.
Don't mean it's right.
We got great singers.
We'll just hold auditions.
You won't find anyone better than the pinkney sisters.
They are flat out.
The best The best ones ever, I know.
Whoohoo-hoo! I'm getting goosebumps on top of my goosebumps.
What is going on in there? Uh, it's just my brother interviewing for a job.
Can I get an application? Okay, wanda, you are done.
Whoohoo-hoo, yes, I am, sweetness, yes, I am.
Whoo, but you gonna have to give me a minute.
I don't think I can get up right after that.
Well, you take a second to gather yourself, But afterwards I'm gonna have to ask you to move on.
Because I need the chair.
Please me and then send me on my way.
I think I'm even more worked up now.
Well, you sure are a big hit.
I am booked solid for the next two weeks.
You mean I'm booked solid for the next two weeks.
Fair enough.
But I do like all this new business.
I would also like it if you put on a shirt.
Don't nobody want to see all that.
Honey, speak for yourself.
Stamps I could've sworn I remember you rinsing me out, But why is it I still feel all lathered up? Mwah.
Hey! Stamps, can I tell you, you are officially.
My one and only hair washer.
Boom! Go on and get that.
- mwah.
Well, thank you.
We'll call you.
I mean, she was pretty.
Pretty awful.
I mean, that's just it We're good as a whole choir when we're all together, But as individuals, we Stink.
Yeah, we don't have that lead singer.
That blows the audience away.
I mean, we got a lot of titos and jermaines, We just don't have that michael.
All righty, auditioner number 84.
Come on in.
Hi, my name is kyle, and I've been a member.
Of the church for, um, six years.
- Hi, kyle.
- I'm so nervous.
I mean, you are a huge singing star, And here I am trying to impress you with my voice.
Kyle, now, I'm just a regular old guy, all right? Nothing special about me, okay? Okay, okay, well, what I was gonna sing is I mean, I was special.
I mean, when you think about it, when I was singing, you know? When I did that duet with michael McDonald, you know? you know? - Yeah.
- But, yeah.
That was special, you know? But it's not about me.
This is about you.
So what you got for us? Okay, so here goes: amazing grace - Thank you.
- What? Kyle, that was real pitchy, dog, real pitchy.
You know - Off you go.
- Well, I got another song - You're done.
- We'll call you.
- We won't.
Man, is that the best we got? Yes, and we have to let the judges know.
Our lead singer right away.
The clock is ticking, reverend.
Dang it.
I mean, I told the whole congregation.
We were gonna win this thing, And I don't think we got anybody good enough.
And don't forget you looked them in the eye.
And gave them the boyce ballentine guarantee.
I know what I did.
Well, there are two more auditions, But it's probably not worth it.
Oh, don't do that.
Let's see them, all right? They they could be great.
If you insist.
Next! Oh How I love jesus Oh How I love jesus Oh How I love jesus Because he first loved me Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about! And you didn't even want to see them.
My bad.
Ladies, what's your names? - I'm rose.
- And I'm catherine.
And we're the pinkney sisters.
You just had to bring them, didn't you? Do you want to win, or not? Do you know what this would mean to our church? Of course I do.
But No, no, no.
No, this is wrong.
I can't do it.
We could pay them out of petty cash.
That way, we won't leave a paper trail.
Oh how I love jesus Because he first Loved me Do it.
Baby, today was the best day ever at the salon.
Stand up so I can make it rain on you.
I'm not in the mood, babe.
What's wrong? You know, I just don't feel good.
About hiring those ringers.
I think you're being too hard on yourself.
You know, just think of it as making an investment.
In the future of your church.
I mean, that's what I thought, you know? And I do want to win this thing.
Well, sometimes we got to do what we got to do.
I guess you're right.
All right, thank you, baby.
You didn't leave a paper trail, did you? Hey, mom.
So my friend's mother said.
That stamps is booked up for two whole weeks.
She offered to give me 50 bucks if I can get them in.
Lyric, I would never take 50 bucks.
For something like that.
Now if you can get the lady up to 75, come talk to me.
I'll see what I can do.
Do I get a cut? If you get 75, I'll give you 15.
What if I get you 80? Can I get 20? My baby! What is going on with you two? Nothing.
I'm just doing what's best for my business.
Like you're doing what's best for the church.
You know, I just can't help but feel.
We both made a deal with the devil.
Well, I don't think I did.
Hey, boss lady.
You got my paycheck? - Right here.
- All right.
Where are you going all slicked up, slick? I got a date.
I met a little something-something today.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Please don't tell me.
You're dating one of my customers.
Yeah, I agree.
I shouldn't tell you about it.
- Stamps.
- Don't worry, boss.
This will be good for business, trust me.
I call it "customer relations.
" So I'm just gonna head out and go Relate.
Oh, my god, maybe I did make a deal with the devil.
And in that case, That would make this the devil's money.
You want me to take that off your hands? No.
Oh, you want to play "rob the bank.
" I know I'm gonna regret asking you this, But how was your little date last night? Crazy, and I've been dying to tell somebody about it, But you're probably not the best person.
Probably not.
Now let's finish up.
The choir competition starts in an hour, And boyce is counting on us.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
Mmm, last night was so good.
I don't know if I want to see those amazing hands.
On another woman's head.
Hey, when the shop is closed, My hands only belong to you.
Um, I've got to get back to work.
- Okay, well, I will see you tonight about 8:00.
- Definitely.
- Okay.
What the hell is the matter with you? I told you, you cannot date my clients.
It's all cool.
I'm just trying to keep my customers satisfied.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
- I had a fine time last night.
- Me too.
No, he didn't.
I think you left this at my house last night.
Yes, he did.
And I set the alarm on it.
So you'll know when to pick me up tonight.
Around 10:30? - Make it 10:45.
- Okay.
- mwah.
Uh, stamps, I need to talk to you.
Are you out of your crazy mind? If those two find out they're seeing the same guy, Boyce could lose them and the singing competition, Not to mention what it would do to my business if word gets out.
Calm down, okay? I got this.
Look, I dated serena and venus, and they never found out.
You didn't date the williams sisters.
Oh, no, not the tennis players.
The waitresses at the waffle house.
I just heard community methodist.
They out there acting like they got this thing.
In the bag.
I can't wait for the pinkney sisters.
To wipe that smirk off their face.
Well, they should be ready soon.
Lester, you don't feel a little guilty about all this? If by "guilty" you mean "giddy with excitement,".
Then, yes, guilty as charged.
You know, son, I've got to say it's a wonderful thing.
Hearing those beautiful voices in our church.
Dad, I thought you were against the competition.
Oh, I don't know.
I-I-I guess it's okay.
As long as it's a level playing field.
And no one has paid for ringers.
Why would you say that? 'Cause I heard you hired ringers.
Are you out of your mind? "What should it profit a man if he gains the whole world.
And forfeits his own soul?" mark, 8:36.
Look, I thought I was doing what was right for my church.
- Son, I want you to ask yourself something: Is it worth setting fire to your cuffs.
To spite your britches? What does that mean? I'm not sure.
Your grandfather used to say it.
He was a little touched in the head.
But think about it.
I don't know, lester.
I mean, how do you feel about it? Still giddy.
Oh! - Oh, wow.
Ladies, you look pretty.
Yeah.
Y'all ready to win this thing? As soon as we get our check.
Hey, big bro, just came in to wish you good luck Uh-oh.
You look a little busy, so I'm gonna catch you later.
Hey, baby.
So you came to wish me good luck? Why are you babying my boyfriend? Boyfriend? What Have you been seeing my sister? Have you been seeing mysister? Wait, I can explain.
I didn't know you two were sisters.
- Dammit, rose - "Dammit, rose"? I'm gonna need you to I am so sick All right, all right, all right, ladies, that's I am not singing with her.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, you can't not sing.
Okay, all right, everybody out.
All right, ladies, have a seat.
Now I don't really care if y'all sing with us tonight or not.
All right? And I don't care about this competition.
What I care about is that you two forgive each other.
You're sisters.
And family is the most important thing.
But every time I find a guy I like, She swoops in and scoops him up.
And she does it all on purpose.
What how do you know that? Did you know she was dating stamps? No.
Did you know that she was dating stamps? No.
Then who's really to blame here? Stamps.
Exactly.
So can we bury the hatchet? In stamps? Whoa, now, you know what I meant.
- Yeah, you're right, pastor.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry, rose.
I'm sorry too.
There you go.
Now that makes me feel better.
So can we sing for you now? Uh, as soon as we get our check.
You know what? I'm sorry, but I changed my mind.
You know, we are gonna go out there, And I'm gonna do this contest with members of my own church.
And then even if we come in fifth, At least I'll know we're consistent.
So I can't offer you money.
But what I can offer you is greater.
Than all the gifts in the world.
Well, every time I Feel the spirit Moving in my heart I will pray every time I feel the spirit Moving in my heart I will pray Praise the lord.
Praise the lord.
- Don't they sound wonderful? - Yeah! I want everybody to help to join me.
In welcoming the newest members of our congregation, Rose and catherine pinkney.
And they singing for free.
That okay, daddy? Just what we need, more women in the church.
Damn! Oh, the spirit is in here.
Yeah.
Yeah! - I said can you feel it? - Yeah! Ooh I feel I feel the spirit I feel the spirit I feel it So what time do you want me.
At the salon tomorrow, boss lady? You're fired.
I feel the spirit I feel the spirit I feel the spirit