The Unreal (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Hello.
We're the Kellys staying in cabin 3.
I'm the caretaker.
Did you eat our
treats last night?
It wasn't me. The Pooka escaped from
this video into the real world
and ate all our treats.
You can drop the act, Kevin.
Why does no one in this family
ever believe me?
The mountain where the shed is built
is said to be a magical portal
to the land of Faerie.
Together, we'll hunt down that
unnatural creature and send him
back to where he came from.
No, wait! Come back!
He doesn't mean any harm.
The Pooka escaped from the video.
And now he won't believe me unless
I show him the Pooka tape.
What secrets does this
dusty old shed hold?
(Theme music)
(Old-school TV theme music)
Katie.
What?
Katie! Come here.
What's wrong with you?
What the hell?
Is this some kind of joke?
What is this?
Did you do this?
Oh, yeah. I designed and printed
a fake video cover
of our entire family in old clothes.
Of course, I didn't do this.
But it can't be real.
(TV audience laughter and TV static)
(Soft music)
It's coming back to me.
(Laughter and TV static)
I remember now
We used to live in that house.
And every week we'd get
up to, like, hijinks.
Dad's boss came around and Mum had to
hide the stray dog I brought home.
Or I had to sneak out of the house
after I ripped your favourite sweater
to buy you a new one.
Don't you remember?
(Music continues)
Oh my God, you're right.
How could I have forgotten all that?
Our whole life was a sitcom.
You and your friends got into
trouble every week,
but you'd all learn a lesson, and
we'd all hug at the end of the day.
That's right.
I had friends, I was happy.
and I was
still a stroppy teenager,
obsessed with what everyone
thought of you.
Don't blame me.
I didn't write it.
But how did we get from an old video
of a sitcom to where we are now?
How could we've forgotten that?
It's the same for the Pooka
He didn't know he'd escaped a video.
He thought he was real!
My memories of childhood were
always a bit fuzzy.
Mine too.
Wait, do Mum and Dad know about this?
Have they been keeping this secret
the whole time?
That our whole life is a lie?
No, they couldn't have.
Could they?
We have to tell them.
We have to show them the video.
Hang on.
We cannot tell anyone about this.
If people find out, they'll stick us
in a lab and do experiments on us.
Please - we're not aliens!
Well, I don't know, do I?
Promise me you won't tell
anyone about this until we
work out what's going on.
Okay.
Not a word to Mum and Dad.
Okay!
We said we'd meet Mum and Dad to
play a board game
to make up for yesterday.
We better go.
But what do we do with this?
We can't leave it here.
And we can't bring it to the cabin -
Mum & Dad might find it.
I know a place I can hide it.
You go to the cabin, I'll catch up
with you.
(Soft music with a gentle rhythm)
(The bin lid clatters)
What you got there? Oh, um. Nothing.
I was just, uh, looking for my phone.
Have you seen it anywhere?
Afraid not dear.
Come on.
I have something to show you.
Look what I found.
Legend tells that if you catch a
fairy and make it look at its
reflection in the mirror it escaped
from,
it gets sucked back
into the land of Faerie.
So,
I was thinking,
if we catch the Pooka
and make it watch the video
it escaped from,
maybe it will get
sucked back into the video.
You mean we could send him home?
I think so.
This is how they used to vanquish
evil creatures back in the day.
I talked to the Pooka.
You did?
Yeah.
I mean, he didn't actually say
anything, but he didn't seem evil.
Sure, evil or not,
he doesn't belong here.
Don't you think he'd be happier
back in his own world?
Kevin?
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
You are right, love.
You seem a little
Yeah. I'm fine.
It's just
What would you do if you found out
someone was lying to you for years.
Well, if it was someone close to me,
I'd think they might have very
good reason for lying.
On the other hand, Dante said liars
would end up in the
eighth circle of hell and
burn forever in eternal flames.
(Strange music)
Oh, I'm feeling lucky, huh?
No. Right.
Six.
I just avoided paying you rent.
(Laughs) Your go Kevin!
Kevin! What?
It's your go!
(Dice roll on the board)
Community chest.
Get out of jail free.
That'll come in handy.
Huh?
Oh, I just mean, like, if you have
any dark secret that finally comes
to light after years of lying,
and you end up in jail Owww!
My go.
Anyone for a cup of tea?
No, thanks. I hate tea.
Can I have some red lemonade?
Since when have you ever been
allowed red lemonade?
Since when have I ever drank tea?
Do you even know me?
Oh, that's my square, isn't it?
And with three houses on it,
you owe me the grand total of 300.
Sorry, love.
Sometimes life just isn't fair.
No. Especially when people
spend years lying to y-- oww!
My turn, is it?
Excellent.
You passed go, collect 200--
Owwww!
What was wrong with that?
Sorry, force of habit.
What's going on with you two?
Nothing! Nothing. I don't know.
Okay, well, it's your
turn, Kevin.
Come on.
Did you and Dad know that we're not
actually real people, and we're just
made up characters that escaped
from an old 80s sitcom?
I have literally no response to
that.
Answer the question.
What is he talking about?
Have you and Mum been lying
to us our entire lives?
No, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Oh, so you've never heard of an
old TV show called 'The Kellys'?
Kellys?
They don't know.
Don't know what?
What are you talking about?
Fine.
It's just the latest TikTok trend,
you tell your parents that you
escaped from a sitcom,
and you just see how they react.
Isn't that right, Kevin?
I will never understand your
generation sense of humour.
Oh, nice.
What was all that crap
with Mum and Dad?
Cabbage.
What?
You're supposed to say
cabbage, not crap.
We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone.
What difference does it make?
What difference does any of it make?
Would you just calm down?
I have no friends.
I'm bad at school.
I hate my life.
And yes, I did hit Oliver O’Hare in
class.
I knew it! Because he called me
stupid, but I'm only stupid because
that's the way my character
was written.
No wonder I hate it here.
Kevin!
I don't belong here.
None of us do.
Don't!
(Music starts)
I really think we should call in
to Priya and Robbie to apologise
for last night.
What do you think,
Tom?
Tom?
Will you apologise for me too?
I'm just gonna have a little nap and
I'll talk to you later, okay?
Okay, love.
(Music continues)
(Music comes to an end)
Hi.
Hi
Eh, these are for you.
I baked you some lemon pies.
Oh - thank you.
About last night -
I just wanted to say
No, there's no need.
But I shouldn't have left so
abruptly
No, you had to take your boy
But I didn't want you to think
No, not at all
Because I did, I really
was
Me, too - it was really
It really was
(They both sigh)
Well, I'm glad we cleared that up.
Thank you for the
Oh, no bother at all.
You don't seem real.
Excuse me?
I mean, you're just so impressive.
Everything you do with your career
and baking and your kids.
I think I just get intimidated,
and I feel like I have to make my
own life sound more impressive.
Are you kidding me?
I'm the one who feels intimidated.
Why do I feel like I'm in
competition with everyone?
Oh my God, yes - that's
exactly how I feel.
It's exhausting.
Yeah.
Would you like to come in
and have a lemon pie?
Oh, yeah.
We were cancelled after one season.
What?
There's not much on the internet
other than it wasn't very popular
and got cancelled
after one season.
It's not available to stream
anywhere either.
It's funny how Mum and Dad's
memories didn't come back
after we told them about it.
Maybe you need to watch the
video to remember it.
What do you think?
Should we show it to them?
We can't.
Dad's depressed enough
already due to me.
What will happen if he finds
out he's not even real?
Kevin.
Dad's depression is not your fault.
He only got bad after I started
doing bad in school.
That's not
That's just a coincidence.
Then what caused his depression?
I don't know.
But it wasn't you.
I don't understand any of this.
How did we get out of the video?
And can we get back in?
And what happens if someone
finds out we're not real?
We need more information before
we decide what to do next.
How are we gonna do that?
By catching the Pooka and sending
him home tonight.
Come with me.
There's someone you should meet.
(Footsteps as they walk off)
(Gentle music)
(Music continues, with birdsong)
What if we can do things
normal people can't?
Because we're not real?
Like what?
Maybe we have super powers, but we
just haven't discovered them yet.
Did your character have super
powers in the TV show? No, but
So you don't have them in the real
world. That doesn't prove anything.
Maybe just being a made-up character
means we can walk through
walls or turn invisible.
Or maybe we're invulnerable.
(Thump) Oww!
Well, you're not invulnerable.
(Birdsong)
Hi.
Uh, this is my sister, Katie.
She's seen the Pooka.
Another convert to the mighty cause.
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of
war.
Don't mind her.
She's like that sometimes.
So are we ready to catch
this Pooka, then?
Yes, but do you mind
if I record this?
I need to get some sound bites
for my Insta reel intro.
Don't mind her.
She's like that sometimes.
Hey, guys! So we're just about to
embark on our Pooka hunt.
Stay tuned to see what happens.
Why is she talking like an American?
Um, so we need something to lure
the Pooka out into the open.
I've already thought of that.
(Tense music plays)
Are you sure this is gonna work?
He couldn't resist it last night.
I don't know about this.
It's gonna work.
I know it will.
Here. I'll go get into position.
You two stay here and keep an eye
out for him.
Remember, don't put it in your
pocket.
The button will get stuck: you won't
be able to hear me. Oh, right.
Can I hold it like this?
If you try to switch it off first.
Like this.
How long until the Pooka shows up?
Seriously! (Background chatter)
What are we waiting for?
Oh, no. There he is.
(Music continues)
What do we do now?
Sneak up on him and shut the door.
Wait, I think I can talk to him.
(Tense music and footsteps)
Hello?
(Music builds)
(Kevin coughs)
Hi.
Do you remember me from yesterday?
I told you I'd bring you proof
that you came from a video.
And here it is.
"I don't remember this."
Yeah, see, I think you'll only
remember once you watch the video.
So will you come with me and
I can play it for you?
We might even be able
to send you home.
"Can I bring the cake?"
(Music ends)
Can I tell you a secret?
Tom some days he doesn't
get out of bed at all.
I've tried to talk to him about
it a few times,
but he never wants to listen.
Sorry. I don't know why
I'm telling you all this.
No, it's okay, honestly. Do you
think some of Tom's problems
are due to the pressures of being an
architect?
Ehh, he's not actually an architect.
Oh (she laughs)
He's a chef.
Currently unemployed.
Oh, that must be so hard for you.
Thanks.
Sure, you just get through
it day to day?
Here's the name of Robby's
therapist.
Your husband's in therapy?
Oh, yeah.
Ever since his Dad died,
he needed some support.
My number's on there, too.
Promise me you'll call me sometime.
I will.
Thanks.
These lemon pies are delicious.
You're so talented.
Actually, I bought them
in the local shop.
Oh.
It's all lies!
My whole life is a lie!
(They laugh, manically)
(Nervous chuckle)
(Calm music)
What is it?
I want to go home.
This is our last day here,
you'll be home tomorrow.
That's not our home.
Not really.
I mean, our real home
Back in the TV show.
If we can send the Pooka back where
he came from,
then I want to go next.
(Footsteps)
(Music continues)
(VHS player slams shut)
(The Pooka TV theme tune plays)
(TV theme continues)
"I remember now."
(TV static noise, then wind)
Oh. What's happening?
(Dramatic music)
(TV static)
(Mysterious music continues)
(A whoosh noise,
then everything quiets down)
Oh! I - I think we did it.
I think we sent him home.
(Laughs) I can't believe that worked.
I can't believe I wasn't filming.
Well done, you!
You did it!
(Gentle music)
There's only one thing left to do
now.
(The VHS player pops open)
(The music builds in intensity.)
Nooooooooo! (Slowed down)
(Smash!)
(Bang!)
(Crunch!)
(The music fades out)
What did you do?! (Shouted)
That was the final part
of the legend.
Once you've sucked the fairy
back into the mirror,
you have to smash it, to kill it.
You killed the Pooka?!
It was unnatural, Kevin - you said
it yourself - it didn't belong here.
Okay, yeah, but you didn't have to
kill it! (Shouted)
Sometimes to do good
you have to be a bit bad.
We can't have unreal things running
around our world, can we?
It's up to us to keep our world
pure, by destroying them.
Now, we'll have to look and see
if there are any copies
of this videotape.
We don't want another Pooka
escaping, do we?
Actually, we have to go.
Remember? We said we'd
meet Mum and Dad.
(Footsteps)
(Music continues)
Okay.
Do you have your walkie talkie?
in case you want to contact me?
Nice friends you have, Kevin!
I didn't know she was a psycho!
She doesn't know about us -
that we escaped from a video too?
No!
Wait a minute
When the Pooka watched his tape, he
got sucked back in. Why didn't that
happen to us when we watched our
tape? I don't know.
Maybe because we all
came out together
so we all have to watch it
together to go back in?
Yeah, possibly.
No matter what happens, we can't let
the caretaker know our secret.
We have to get Mum and Dad and get
as far away from here as possible.
(Rhythmic, high energy music)
(The music fades on a sustained
note)
I'm just going to lie down for a
bit.
(The door crashes open; footsteps)
Mum, we have to go. We have to get
out of here
as soon as possible. That means now!
Come on, start packing.
Okay. Stop.
What are you talking about?
Why do we have to leave?
Do you trust me?
(She laughs) No.
Should I tell her?
We don't have a choice.
Okay, we can't tell Dad, but what I
said earlier about how we all
escaped from a video.
It's all true.
We're not real.
We only think we're real.
But we're actually made of characters
from an old 80s sitcom.
Is this because I took your phone
away? This isn't funny.
I'm not trying to be funny.
This is dead serious.
And if we don't get out of here right
now, we might actually end up dead.
Come on, back me up
Are you filming this?
What? This is really good drama.
He's telling the truth. We have to
go now.
I don't believe this. You two
finally agree on something,
and it's this nonsense?
You're not listening.
We could all do with a break,
I thought -
get away from it all with
a few days in the countryside.
What could be more relaxing?
Wait - we can prove it.
Where is the Kelly's videotape?
I'll go get it. Stay right here.
(Footsteps)
(Music)
(Bin lid clatters)
(Bin lid clatters)
(More clattering)
Looking for this?
And the liars shall be banished
to the eighth circle of hell.
And burn forever in eternal flames.
(Music builds to a crescendo)
(End credit music)