The Wonder Years s01e03 Episode Script
My Father's Office
"While the female remains with the young," "the male ventures into a hostile environment to find sustenance.
" "He returns after an unsuccessful foray.
Aggressive and unpredictable.
" "Notice the reaction of the startled mother" "and her offspring" "as they begin to sense the presence of the male.
" Your father's had a bad day at work, so no noise.
- Hi hon, how's work? - Work's work.
"The irritable male gives out unmistakable signals" "that tell the young to keep their distance.
" - Let's go play catch.
- Good idea.
When my father had a bad day at work, he'd just sit in the dark by himself and watch TV.
We learned early on that this was a danger signal and we adapted our behavior accordingly.
And when he had a really bad day I'm talking about a very, not good day he had this telescope, and he'd go in the back yard and just look through it for hours.
Etienne: Maman, nous allons - dîner en ville ce soire.
- Nicole: Oui, Maman, dinons en vit.
That's very good, Kevin.
Kevin! How many times I tell ya not to leave your bicycle in the driveway! - But I - You think they grow on trees?! If you don't want to take care of it you don't have to have it! But I was just going to ride it over to Paul's later.
Now you're not going to ride it over to Paul's.
You're going to put it away, and then you're going to go to your room.
Now! And then sometimes, you knew you shouldn't do it, but you just couldn't help yourself.
OK, OK, get a grip on yourself.
You gave him lip.
- What did you say? - Nothing.
I asked you a question, what did you say? Nothing.
- We have certain rules around here, young man, and you're going to follow them.
The first one is that you take care of your own stuff! I guess we really didn't understand why he was so hard on us sometimes.
Because sometimes, and I remember these times so distinctly, my dad could be great.
He could be so much fun.
You never wanted that feeling to end And then, for some reason it always would.
- Now look, first you have to have something you really want to be, and then you have to have a fallback position.
So like, I wanna be a professional baseball player, but my fallbacks, are either an astronaut or a forest ranger.
OK.
OK, I want to be a professional baseball player too.
Well what's your fallbacks? A professional football player.
Why don't you fall back a little further.
I don't know.
I'd probably go into business with my father.
What's your dad do? I don't know.
He works.
You don't know what your father does? That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, well what does your father do? - He works at NORCOM.
- Yeah, he works at NORCOM.
- Nor-com? - It's a company, moron.
What does he do there? Is he the janitor? No, he's the manager, jerk.
What does he manage, toilet bowls? No, business, stupid! He manages business.
'He manages business?' And that's when it hit me.
I had absolutely no idea what that meant.
"In Saigon, a governments news agency, said the President Thieu "will offer a new peace proposal" - It's too long.
If I made it any shorter it would be a headband.
Hey, mom? What does dad do for living? What do you mean what does he do for living? He works for NORCOM.
Yeah, I know.
But what does NORCOM do? - It's part of the military-industrial complex.
- It is not.
They make those little - thingies.
- You know, electrosomething.
I forget what they're called.
- Those little "thingies" are helping to burn villages and kill children in Southeast Asia.
They are this big for God's sake, they are not killing anybody's children.
- But you admit they're used for military purposes.
They're used in toasters and coffee makers.
Oh.
So the military does need toast.
- Karen?! For God's sake.
Dad doesn't actually make those little thingies, does he? Well no, of course he doesn't actually make them.
Then what does he do? He's a manager.
He manages "distribution and product support services".
My mother obviously hoped the tone of her declaration would forestall the one glaring question that its substance raised.
What does that mean? No such luck.
Kevin? Why the sudden interest in your father's job? I don't knowjust wondered.
Well, that sounds like him now.
Why don't you just go ask him yourself? Hi hon! How was your day? - Day is a day.
Yeah.
Ask him yourself.
Easy for her to say.
The man had grunted exactly twice in three-and-a-half hours.
I didn't see anybody else lining up to probe his inner life.
Dad? Dad, what do you do all day? Aw, man! I can't believe they lost to the Senators.
What do you say? I said, what do you do all day? What do I do all day? I shovel other people's crap so you kids can eat.
OK.
That was pretty specific.
No need to press the issue.
No, I mean, what do you do? I work at NORCOM, you know that.
Yeah, I know, but what do you do there? Come on, Kevin.
I work all day and all I ask now is to sit here and watch this Great.
Is two minutes peace and quiet too much to ask for around here? Now what do you want? Forget it.
Uhhiya, Kevin.
Oh no, pal.
You think it's going to be that easy.
You hurt my feelings, and now you have to pay the piper.
So you want to know what I do at work, huh? That's it, don't look him in the eye.
Don't look him in the eye.
Don't look him in the Oh geez, what are you doin'? You're killin' me here.
It's uhno big deal, ya know.
Mostly pushin' papers from over here to over there.
It's, not some big glamorous thing.
OK, fine.
Look at him.
Look at him all you want, just no words, OK? What do the papers say? What's your office like? It's an office.
Four walls, a ceiling, a door Do you got file cabinets? Yeah, I got file cabinets, why? I don't know.
I just wonder.
Look, Kevin, uh Why don't you come into the office with me tomorrow and see for yourself? I'll write you a note, OK? OK?! OK.
OK.
Goodnight.
- Set your alarm for 6:30.
I don't want to be waiting for ya.
Gimme that toast, butthead.
- We better go.
Traffic's gonna be hell.
And so I went to work with my father.
I don't know exactly what I expected to learn about him there.
I guess I was looking for clues.
Something to explain why he was the way he was.
Everybody, this is my son, Kevin.
This is Phyllis and Stan and Betty and Mary.
- Hi, there! - You look just like your old man.
- Oh my goodness, he's adorable.
What an angel.
Look at those cheeks.
I got the feeling they didn't see a lot of twelve-year-olds around here.
And what are you gonna be when you grow up? - Are you going to come to work with us at NORCOM? Of course I knew exactly what I was going to be when I grew up either centerfielder for the San Francisco Giants, or a crew member of the first manned spacecraft to Mars.
Are you going to go into distribution like your father, hmmm? I don't know, maybe.
Uh, come on Kevin, I'll show you my office.
Excuse me.
Dad's office wasn't impressive the way say, the Apollo 8 was impressive, but it did have a lot of pretty cool stuff in it.
A big executive desk, a phone with lots of flashing lights and buttons, and a swivel chair.
- Can I sit in your chair? - Sure.
Phyllis, pull the quarterly distribution reports.
Oh, and the, uhWest Coast shipping statements from September.
- Right.
- Thanks.
Here.
No, you can sit down No, no, it's OK, OKsit down, sit down.
OK! First thing you gotta learn about around here is the S-14 forms.
You gotta fill one of these babies out every time - Yeah, Phyllis.
- Jeff Meyers on one.
Hello Jeff! How are ya? Good, good.
Really? No, look Jeff, I told him the same thing, but he said that NU-Tech wanted those 1018's.
Well, Jeff.
Jeff, that's not really my problem.
I mean they should know their own system, right? Yeah, OK.
Uh, OK, I'll see ya.
Be with you in just a minute here, Kevin.
- Peter Dante on two.
- Yeah Phyllis.
Thanks.
Hello, Pete.
Yeah, Jack Arnold.
How are ya? Good, good.
Listen, Pete, I was just talking with Jeff Meyers over I don't know.
I don't know! I'm checking on it right now.
Oh, well hell, Pete! They could just get someone else then! I had no idea what my father was talking about, but suddenly I fell in love with the rhythm and flow of it all.
The way he punched those phone buttons, flipped through papers, gave orders.
He had power, authority, just like at home, only here it was even more mysterious and impressive.
I'm working on it right now.
I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Thanks.
Call Albuquerque, tell 'em Rusty ordered aAG Lansford, and you get me the purchase orders from last week.
I forgot my briefcase in the car.
Kevin.
I imagined myself in that role Administering things Giving orders, chewing people out.
What do you want?! Well, Mr.
Arnold, sir, i-ifif you're not too busy, sir, I have some papers for your approval, sir.
Sure, I do everything else around here, don't I? Thank you, sir.
Good morning, buttface! Good morning, sir.
I spent all night working on these for your approval, sir.
They stink.
Do 'em over again.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, this was OK.
Like father, like son, I guess.
- Wisanski! Bring the purchase order.
- Phyllis, get Pete back for me.
- OK.
What's this? We need these approved by Friday and we're having a problem with STI Phoenix.
The October shipment's late.
What do you mean "late", how late, and when did you find this out? Well, they called yesterday, but I thought maybe they would get there by today.
You though maybe it would get there by today.
Phyllis, get me Southwest Express, please.
Well, actually we're using a new carrier.
Maybe they, uh, you know You what?! You went with a new carrier? Wisanski! You didn't clear that with me.
If this screws up the damn account, we're all gonna be Look, I'm sorry.
Maybe I should go down there.
Look, no it's OK, I'll handle it.
Next time check first with me.
Tell you what, Kevin, it is time you learned about the most important part of the working day.
- The coffee break.
Jack, Mr.
Keller's on line one.
Tell 'em I'm not here.
Oh, but he sounds like it's important.
Come on.
Sure that's what you want? Yeah.
I like it black.
Learn something new every day.
Dad? When did you decide you wanted to become a manager of distribution and product support services? - Sorry.
Just a funny sort of a thought.
Really wanting to be manager of distribution and product support services.
I mean it's a good job, but, it's not what I thought I'd be doing with my life.
What did you want to do? What, are you kiddin', a professional baseball player.
- No, really.
- Really? Well, Idid have a fallback position This job? No.
Not this job.
I never told anybody this before not even your mother.
When I was your age, I wanted to be a captain of a ship.
A captain of a ship? Yeah.
Ya know, one of those big oceanliners, or a freighter, or an oil tanker Be out there on the ocean in the middle of the night, navigating by the stars.
Course, they use instruments for all that now, but I didn't know that.
- Yeah, thought it would be the greatest thing in the world.
How come you didn't do it? How come? Well, you know.
One thing leads to another.
Went off to college Met your mom.
Next summer I got a job on a loading dock here at NORCOM.
Rest is history.
You'd have made a great ship's captain, Dad.
Nahhhh, probably not.
Probably get sea sick.
You know, Kevin - You can't do every silly thing you want to in life.
- You have to make your choices You have to try and be happy with them.
I've think we've done pretty well, don't you? Yeah, I think we've done great.
But as we walked back to my father's office, I suddenly realized something that made a lot of things make sense.
My dad was too good for this place.
Sure it was good job, and we were all lucky he had it and all that But my Dad had something finer in him than S-14's and distribution reports.
I'll never forget how I felt at that moment.
I felt that my father was a great man.
What the hell is this, Arnold?! This is incompetence, just plain incompetence! - Look, Al.
Wisanski - Nevermind Wisanski! - He works for you! - Now this is the third major screw up in your department in the last two months.
- Now if you can't hire competent people, and supervise them, we can find somebody that can! - It's being taken care of.
- Well it sure better be! - Oh, and one more thing.
- The next time I try to get you on the phone You better be there, to take the call.
- Now do you read me, Arnold? Do you read me?!! - Yeah Al, I read you.
- Good! That night, my father stood there, looking up at the sky the way he always did.
But suddenly I realized I wasn't afraid of him in quite the same way anymore.
The funny thing is, I felt like I lost something.
- Come here, Kevin.
That's Polaris, the North Star.
That's how the the sailors used to find their way home.
Taurus Mind
" "He returns after an unsuccessful foray.
Aggressive and unpredictable.
" "Notice the reaction of the startled mother" "and her offspring" "as they begin to sense the presence of the male.
" Your father's had a bad day at work, so no noise.
- Hi hon, how's work? - Work's work.
"The irritable male gives out unmistakable signals" "that tell the young to keep their distance.
" - Let's go play catch.
- Good idea.
When my father had a bad day at work, he'd just sit in the dark by himself and watch TV.
We learned early on that this was a danger signal and we adapted our behavior accordingly.
And when he had a really bad day I'm talking about a very, not good day he had this telescope, and he'd go in the back yard and just look through it for hours.
Etienne: Maman, nous allons - dîner en ville ce soire.
- Nicole: Oui, Maman, dinons en vit.
That's very good, Kevin.
Kevin! How many times I tell ya not to leave your bicycle in the driveway! - But I - You think they grow on trees?! If you don't want to take care of it you don't have to have it! But I was just going to ride it over to Paul's later.
Now you're not going to ride it over to Paul's.
You're going to put it away, and then you're going to go to your room.
Now! And then sometimes, you knew you shouldn't do it, but you just couldn't help yourself.
OK, OK, get a grip on yourself.
You gave him lip.
- What did you say? - Nothing.
I asked you a question, what did you say? Nothing.
- We have certain rules around here, young man, and you're going to follow them.
The first one is that you take care of your own stuff! I guess we really didn't understand why he was so hard on us sometimes.
Because sometimes, and I remember these times so distinctly, my dad could be great.
He could be so much fun.
You never wanted that feeling to end And then, for some reason it always would.
- Now look, first you have to have something you really want to be, and then you have to have a fallback position.
So like, I wanna be a professional baseball player, but my fallbacks, are either an astronaut or a forest ranger.
OK.
OK, I want to be a professional baseball player too.
Well what's your fallbacks? A professional football player.
Why don't you fall back a little further.
I don't know.
I'd probably go into business with my father.
What's your dad do? I don't know.
He works.
You don't know what your father does? That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, well what does your father do? - He works at NORCOM.
- Yeah, he works at NORCOM.
- Nor-com? - It's a company, moron.
What does he do there? Is he the janitor? No, he's the manager, jerk.
What does he manage, toilet bowls? No, business, stupid! He manages business.
'He manages business?' And that's when it hit me.
I had absolutely no idea what that meant.
"In Saigon, a governments news agency, said the President Thieu "will offer a new peace proposal" - It's too long.
If I made it any shorter it would be a headband.
Hey, mom? What does dad do for living? What do you mean what does he do for living? He works for NORCOM.
Yeah, I know.
But what does NORCOM do? - It's part of the military-industrial complex.
- It is not.
They make those little - thingies.
- You know, electrosomething.
I forget what they're called.
- Those little "thingies" are helping to burn villages and kill children in Southeast Asia.
They are this big for God's sake, they are not killing anybody's children.
- But you admit they're used for military purposes.
They're used in toasters and coffee makers.
Oh.
So the military does need toast.
- Karen?! For God's sake.
Dad doesn't actually make those little thingies, does he? Well no, of course he doesn't actually make them.
Then what does he do? He's a manager.
He manages "distribution and product support services".
My mother obviously hoped the tone of her declaration would forestall the one glaring question that its substance raised.
What does that mean? No such luck.
Kevin? Why the sudden interest in your father's job? I don't knowjust wondered.
Well, that sounds like him now.
Why don't you just go ask him yourself? Hi hon! How was your day? - Day is a day.
Yeah.
Ask him yourself.
Easy for her to say.
The man had grunted exactly twice in three-and-a-half hours.
I didn't see anybody else lining up to probe his inner life.
Dad? Dad, what do you do all day? Aw, man! I can't believe they lost to the Senators.
What do you say? I said, what do you do all day? What do I do all day? I shovel other people's crap so you kids can eat.
OK.
That was pretty specific.
No need to press the issue.
No, I mean, what do you do? I work at NORCOM, you know that.
Yeah, I know, but what do you do there? Come on, Kevin.
I work all day and all I ask now is to sit here and watch this Great.
Is two minutes peace and quiet too much to ask for around here? Now what do you want? Forget it.
Uhhiya, Kevin.
Oh no, pal.
You think it's going to be that easy.
You hurt my feelings, and now you have to pay the piper.
So you want to know what I do at work, huh? That's it, don't look him in the eye.
Don't look him in the eye.
Don't look him in the Oh geez, what are you doin'? You're killin' me here.
It's uhno big deal, ya know.
Mostly pushin' papers from over here to over there.
It's, not some big glamorous thing.
OK, fine.
Look at him.
Look at him all you want, just no words, OK? What do the papers say? What's your office like? It's an office.
Four walls, a ceiling, a door Do you got file cabinets? Yeah, I got file cabinets, why? I don't know.
I just wonder.
Look, Kevin, uh Why don't you come into the office with me tomorrow and see for yourself? I'll write you a note, OK? OK?! OK.
OK.
Goodnight.
- Set your alarm for 6:30.
I don't want to be waiting for ya.
Gimme that toast, butthead.
- We better go.
Traffic's gonna be hell.
And so I went to work with my father.
I don't know exactly what I expected to learn about him there.
I guess I was looking for clues.
Something to explain why he was the way he was.
Everybody, this is my son, Kevin.
This is Phyllis and Stan and Betty and Mary.
- Hi, there! - You look just like your old man.
- Oh my goodness, he's adorable.
What an angel.
Look at those cheeks.
I got the feeling they didn't see a lot of twelve-year-olds around here.
And what are you gonna be when you grow up? - Are you going to come to work with us at NORCOM? Of course I knew exactly what I was going to be when I grew up either centerfielder for the San Francisco Giants, or a crew member of the first manned spacecraft to Mars.
Are you going to go into distribution like your father, hmmm? I don't know, maybe.
Uh, come on Kevin, I'll show you my office.
Excuse me.
Dad's office wasn't impressive the way say, the Apollo 8 was impressive, but it did have a lot of pretty cool stuff in it.
A big executive desk, a phone with lots of flashing lights and buttons, and a swivel chair.
- Can I sit in your chair? - Sure.
Phyllis, pull the quarterly distribution reports.
Oh, and the, uhWest Coast shipping statements from September.
- Right.
- Thanks.
Here.
No, you can sit down No, no, it's OK, OKsit down, sit down.
OK! First thing you gotta learn about around here is the S-14 forms.
You gotta fill one of these babies out every time - Yeah, Phyllis.
- Jeff Meyers on one.
Hello Jeff! How are ya? Good, good.
Really? No, look Jeff, I told him the same thing, but he said that NU-Tech wanted those 1018's.
Well, Jeff.
Jeff, that's not really my problem.
I mean they should know their own system, right? Yeah, OK.
Uh, OK, I'll see ya.
Be with you in just a minute here, Kevin.
- Peter Dante on two.
- Yeah Phyllis.
Thanks.
Hello, Pete.
Yeah, Jack Arnold.
How are ya? Good, good.
Listen, Pete, I was just talking with Jeff Meyers over I don't know.
I don't know! I'm checking on it right now.
Oh, well hell, Pete! They could just get someone else then! I had no idea what my father was talking about, but suddenly I fell in love with the rhythm and flow of it all.
The way he punched those phone buttons, flipped through papers, gave orders.
He had power, authority, just like at home, only here it was even more mysterious and impressive.
I'm working on it right now.
I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Thanks.
Call Albuquerque, tell 'em Rusty ordered aAG Lansford, and you get me the purchase orders from last week.
I forgot my briefcase in the car.
Kevin.
I imagined myself in that role Administering things Giving orders, chewing people out.
What do you want?! Well, Mr.
Arnold, sir, i-ifif you're not too busy, sir, I have some papers for your approval, sir.
Sure, I do everything else around here, don't I? Thank you, sir.
Good morning, buttface! Good morning, sir.
I spent all night working on these for your approval, sir.
They stink.
Do 'em over again.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah, this was OK.
Like father, like son, I guess.
- Wisanski! Bring the purchase order.
- Phyllis, get Pete back for me.
- OK.
What's this? We need these approved by Friday and we're having a problem with STI Phoenix.
The October shipment's late.
What do you mean "late", how late, and when did you find this out? Well, they called yesterday, but I thought maybe they would get there by today.
You though maybe it would get there by today.
Phyllis, get me Southwest Express, please.
Well, actually we're using a new carrier.
Maybe they, uh, you know You what?! You went with a new carrier? Wisanski! You didn't clear that with me.
If this screws up the damn account, we're all gonna be Look, I'm sorry.
Maybe I should go down there.
Look, no it's OK, I'll handle it.
Next time check first with me.
Tell you what, Kevin, it is time you learned about the most important part of the working day.
- The coffee break.
Jack, Mr.
Keller's on line one.
Tell 'em I'm not here.
Oh, but he sounds like it's important.
Come on.
Sure that's what you want? Yeah.
I like it black.
Learn something new every day.
Dad? When did you decide you wanted to become a manager of distribution and product support services? - Sorry.
Just a funny sort of a thought.
Really wanting to be manager of distribution and product support services.
I mean it's a good job, but, it's not what I thought I'd be doing with my life.
What did you want to do? What, are you kiddin', a professional baseball player.
- No, really.
- Really? Well, Idid have a fallback position This job? No.
Not this job.
I never told anybody this before not even your mother.
When I was your age, I wanted to be a captain of a ship.
A captain of a ship? Yeah.
Ya know, one of those big oceanliners, or a freighter, or an oil tanker Be out there on the ocean in the middle of the night, navigating by the stars.
Course, they use instruments for all that now, but I didn't know that.
- Yeah, thought it would be the greatest thing in the world.
How come you didn't do it? How come? Well, you know.
One thing leads to another.
Went off to college Met your mom.
Next summer I got a job on a loading dock here at NORCOM.
Rest is history.
You'd have made a great ship's captain, Dad.
Nahhhh, probably not.
Probably get sea sick.
You know, Kevin - You can't do every silly thing you want to in life.
- You have to make your choices You have to try and be happy with them.
I've think we've done pretty well, don't you? Yeah, I think we've done great.
But as we walked back to my father's office, I suddenly realized something that made a lot of things make sense.
My dad was too good for this place.
Sure it was good job, and we were all lucky he had it and all that But my Dad had something finer in him than S-14's and distribution reports.
I'll never forget how I felt at that moment.
I felt that my father was a great man.
What the hell is this, Arnold?! This is incompetence, just plain incompetence! - Look, Al.
Wisanski - Nevermind Wisanski! - He works for you! - Now this is the third major screw up in your department in the last two months.
- Now if you can't hire competent people, and supervise them, we can find somebody that can! - It's being taken care of.
- Well it sure better be! - Oh, and one more thing.
- The next time I try to get you on the phone You better be there, to take the call.
- Now do you read me, Arnold? Do you read me?!! - Yeah Al, I read you.
- Good! That night, my father stood there, looking up at the sky the way he always did.
But suddenly I realized I wasn't afraid of him in quite the same way anymore.
The funny thing is, I felt like I lost something.
- Come here, Kevin.
That's Polaris, the North Star.
That's how the the sailors used to find their way home.
Taurus Mind