Theodosia (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

[unsettling music]
♪
[hissing]
- Okay, let's just
- Let's just not panic.
- Who's panicking?
- I mean, just 'cause
we're stuck in a
weird basement
With a snake
blocking the only exit.
This is your fault.
All that stuff about
magic and jewel thieves.
Well, we could stand
here arguing about it,
or we could actually
focus on getting out?
Over here.
[coughs]
You expect me to climb up there?
You prefer the snake?
Ugh!
[hissing]
- Don't wait.
- I'm right behind you.
[hissing]
[coughing]
- Come on.
- What's she doing?
[hissing]
[coughs]
You risked getting bitten
by a snake for a book?
It was totally worth it.
You know, this spell book could
help me cure my dad's curse.
You're still banging
on about curses?
They don't exist.
Thanks for your help, Will.
Hey, any time.
Unless there's a snake involved.
Mum and Dad are
gonna be so angry.
If we're lucky.
If we're not, they'll be
Very, very disappointed.
[coughing]
Dad, your hand.
It's nothing.
And don't try and distract us
from working out
what to do with you.
[coughs]
Maybe let's talk punishments
when you're better, hon.
For now, you two
go to your rooms.
- But what about Dad?
- I might know what's wrong
Theo, come on, I said now.
- Your dad needs to rest.
- [coughing]
And I should be
taking Saffy home.
I suppose I ought to
come up with some kind of
- punishment for you too, hm?
- What?
[coughing]
[exciting mystical music]
♪
[hissing]
The curse on the Eye of
Horus has done its job well.
You, on the other hand,
Vincent, have not.
The Serpents of Chaos
do not tolerate failure.
- [clock chimes]
- Come on, book,
what do I need to cure a curse?
Hmm
this looks promising.
[intriguing music]
♪
[metallic rattling]
♪
[gentle music]
♪
I should really test this
stuff, shouldn't I, Ra?
I'll start small and simple.
But first I'm gonna need
my magic kit.
I can't believe
I just said that.
[metallic rattling]
Magical and rattly,
you're so coming with.
[exciting music]
♪
[coughing]
- You're burning up, Ali.
- You should be in bed.
Mm-mm.
Alistair.
[sighs]
Hello, Mother.
Lavinia, how lovely.
Dear Rami told me
you were unwell.
I have brought my personal
physician to attend to you.
This is very good
of you, Lavinia,
but it's okay, we've got this.
- [clanking]
- Oh.
Theodosia, what are you doing?
- Honey, not the time.
- Your dad's sick.
I know, I'm trying to help.
You can help by
giving Clive a hand.
He's packing up the shabtis
we're lending the
British Museum.
You're punishing me for
yesterday, aren't you?
Why exactly
are we loaning our shabtis
to the British Museum?
- [coughing]
- It's not a problem, Mother.
We've got so many.
Come on, Lavinia, they're a
common find in Egyptian tombs.
Such small, simple figures
Small and simple.
That's just what I need!
Something must be done with her.
Ancient Egyptians
thought these things
would help out in the afterlife.
But what use is a clay doll?
Shows what you know.
Needs an expert.
Like myself.
How are they meant
to help, then?
- Well, they
- They were inscribed
with a spell from
the Book of the Dead,
so they'd come alive
in the world beyond
to do all the fetching,
carrying, and working
while the dead person had fun.
Cool.
Just what I was gonna say.
Anyway, can't stand
around talking.
I'll get the rest
of the shabtis.
Some expert.
Fancy coming alive and
doing all the work for me?
[exciting music]
♪
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Just asking myself
the same thing.
Is this Theo's home?
Yes, which, uh, I
think explains a lot.
Let me show you around.
Let me give something
to Theo first.
Well, if you want to give
our curse-believing fruit bat
presents, that's up
to you, of course.
- It's not like that.
- I was just
They're on the Egyptian floor,
your highness,
sorting shabtis.
Well, enjoy your visit.
I think I like
being your friend.
- Is this your punishment?
- Awful.
What was yours?
- Grounded for ten minutes.
- What?
My uncle has no idea
what he's doing.
Here, this is yours.
Oh, you were
returning her hanky.
- Thanks.
- Didn't have to do that.
I mean, what if you got a cold?
Don't want you to have to
wipe your nose on your sleeve.
Like that's something I'd do.
Of course not.
So what are you doing?
Trying to find a cursed shabti.
Does she ever let things go?
Theo's superpower is
taking things way too far.
I want to practice on one
before I try to de-curse my Dad.
[magical shimmering]
Gotcha.
What are all these weird things?
They're ingredients for
a spell I found in here.
It can get rid of curses.
You do realize your sister
has totally lost it, right?
- Yeah.
- How can you even read that?
It's just random text.
No, actually, it's a mixture
of Latin, ancient
Greek, and hieroglyphs.
There were loads of
shabtis in that box.
How did you know
that one was cursed?
I know this sounds mad
but ever since I found
the Eye of Horus,
I I can see the curses.
They're written in these
glowing hieroglyphs
that swirl around
the cursed object.
Right.
No really, this one says,
"Small and silent you shall be."
If only.
I don't blame you, you know.
I probably wouldn't
believe me either.
Anyway, the book says
we need to wear these
protective amulets.
It'll keep the magic off us.
Yeah, and make us
look like dopes.
No, thanks.
Come on, play along.
I really wanna see
this magic trick.
Hm? Me?
Wear a bunch of
pebbles round my neck?
With this dress?
Well, if matching your frock's
more important to you
than magical safety.
Frocks are real. Magic isn't.
Suit yourself.
Okay, sit back everyone.
Something wrong with your hand?
Oh, yeah, I have to
make the Heka gesture
in order for the magic to work.
Of course, you do.
Here goes nothing.
Hear me, ancients
It's working. My
hand is-is glowing.
- I take it back, sis.
- It's an excellent prank.
Hear me, ancients.
In the name of Osiris,
lord of the everlasting,
of Hathor, mother
of all the pharaohs,
and the Eye of Ra,
cast out the magic
from this shabti
and banish it
beyond the darkness.
[metallic rattling]
Is that it?
I mean, great chant
and everything,
but I was expecting
a bit more magic.
Like like maybe
something would vanish or
Wait.
Something's
[magical whooshing]
Oh, that is so not
meant to happen.
- What's not?
- The magic is in the room.
Of course, it is.
Don't let it touch you.
I thought these necklaces
were meant to keep us safe?
Safiya, put it on now, please.
Not while there is a
fashionable bone in my body.
There is no way.
- Best trick ever!
- It's not a trick.
- That was awesome!
- The way you faked the clash
over the necklace with
Safiya. I totally fell for it.
Come out and take a bow, Safiya.
- [whispers] What have I done?
- What have I done?
Safiya?
I'm so sorry.
You're overdoing it a bit now.
I don't know if you
can hear me, okay?
I'm going to fix this.
[high pitched] You better!
If you think I'm ever
gonna forgive you for this,
Theodosia Throckmorton,
you've got another thing coming.
It's like she's trying
to say something.
There's this squeaky noise.
There must be something
in these books.
Some of these hieroglyphs
are so strange.
Okay, enough's enough.
You guys have to tell me
how this trick's done.
Seriously, it's not a trick.
You believe her?
Well, just, there's
been so much weirdness
since she found the
Eye. And besides,
can you see Theo and
Safiya working together?
Are you kidding?
Get your weirdo sister
to get me back to normal!
That curse was way
stronger than I thought.
It's gonna need even
stronger magic to remove it.
Oh, like this.
"Spell to remove a curse."
We're going to need
a chicken bone,
more wax,
and mummified lizard skin.
Okay, I admit, that
doesn't sound like
- any trick I've ever heard of.
- Great.
Henry, can you get
the chicken bone?
It's for Safiya, remember?
Okay, okay, I'm going.
Okay.
There should be some
lizard skin in the stores.
Will, help me find it.
Okay.
But I have a lot of questions.
- Oh, same here.
- This is all very new to me too.
Let's go.
Oh, Safiya, stay there.
- What else am I gonna do?
- Wait, you're not really gonna
leave me all alone
here, are you?
No, you can't do that!
What's wrong with you people?
Where are you all?
These shabtis won't
sort themselves.
Here. Over here. Help me!
Been mucking around with
my exhibits, have we?
What? I'm not an
exhibit, I'm a princess.
We'll see about that.
Another shabti for
the British Museum.
- What?
- No, I want to be turned back.
Not sent to the put
me down! And be careful.
Stop treating me like
I'm some old pot.
Mosquitoes.
I hate the summer.
I'm feeling very breakable.
Smashed into bits is so
not a good look on me.
[tense music]
♪
[material crunching]
Ooh, that's crackly.
You're definitely not pulling
my leg about the magic?
I wish.
Henry, you're supposed
to help, not eat.
It's a chicken bone, isn't it?
- Where's Safiya?
- Ah, very funny.
Where is Safiya?
- You've done this on purpose.
- You know how much I like her.
I haven't done
anything, all right?
You did shrink her
into a tiny clay doll.
Oh, yes, apart from that.
All right, she can't
have gotten far.
You two go and look for her.
I'm gonna get the spell ready.
I want to help you with that.
Yeah, well, without Safiya
there is no spell, so.
Come on, Will.
[hushed] Safiya.
Safiya, where are you?
Henrietta, my son should
be in his own bed,
rather than sprawled
here, like some common
It was the doc's idea.
Ah, was it indeed?
Well, then in that
case, I suppose
- Safiya.
- Safiya.
- Safiya. Safiya. Safiya.
- Safiya.
What on Earth?
[stammering]
We were wondering if, um,
Mr. Throckmorton was safe here?
Yeah, safe-ee-a.
Whereas I am wondering
who on earth you are, young man.
Oh, yes. This is our
friend, Will Morgan.
Oh. Of the Cheshire Morgans?
- No
- [gasps]
The magic Morgans.
Very nice to meet you.
And you, Will.
Good to see you and
Theo making new friends.
But not to see you bursting in,
bellowing like
like costermongers,
especially when your
father is unwell.
[coughs]
But Dad's going to
be okay, isn't he?
The doc says so.
No thanks to your behavior.
I can't think where
you get it from.
No, neither can I.
But we'll be going. Right now.
And, I'll just
I'll just take this.
You know, don't
want any loud music
disturbing Dad, do we?
Extraordinary!
[whistling]
Stop whistling and go
and fetch Theodosia.
Do not put me in a packing case.
I repeat, do not put me
in that packing case.
- Right, then.
- Let's get you nailed down.
What? No! No. Don't you dare.
What are you doing with that?
We're trying to find Safiya.
Shh. I'm hoping it'll
magnify her tiny voice.
I came here to
learn about history,
not become part of it.
If you let me out now, I
promise I won't include you
in my official
complaint to the museum.
What if she's not talking?
Yeah, you're right.
It's Safiya,
talking's her thing.
- Stop this at once.
- I'll tell my uncle.
I'll tell the Egyptian embassy.
I'll send for Scotland Yard.
I'll you'll regret this.
- I heard something.
- In the stores.
Really? You're not
hearing any of this?
Put down that hammer.
What is wrong with your ears?
- [loud slam]
- Ah! Loud.
Okay, quick,
Safiya's in trouble.
- The lift's not here.
- Okay let's take the stairs.
My plans for the
future did not include
being turned into a
tiny wooden servant
and put on display at
the British Museum.
Okay, I take it
back, magic is real.
- Magic is real.
- Stop!
Finally come to help, have you?
We're looking for the princess.
- Is she all right?
- She is now.
I knew I'd find you.
Wrong shabti, dummy.
What?
Thank you, Will.
What on Earth are
you two playing at?
- Put that down.
- Clive, it's okay.
That shabti was never meant
for the British Museum.
She's way too beautiful.
Valuable. I mean,
she's way too valuable.
- All right, then.
- Well, now you're here,
you can help me get
these crates upstairs.
Ah, we'd love to,
but we've, um, got something
urgent on right now.
It's fine.
I'll do it, you snot-nosed kids.
Okay, is everyone
wearing their amulets?
- Definitely.
- Yep.
Okay, let's do this.
Hear me, ancients.
Honestly, this is so cool.
Oh, me now?
You're meant to be curing me,
not whatever that was.
In the name of Osiris,
lord of the everlasting,
of Hathor, mother of
pharaohs and Eye of Ra,
cast the magic from this shabti
and banish it
beyond the darkness.
- [normally]
- Worst thing in all the world.
Wait!
I'm me again!
Full-sized. Okay.
Where's the princess?
What are you doing up there?
She turned me into a statue.
Ah, playing a game, are you?
I thought you were
all being punished.
No, no, I'm serious.
That girl can do magic.
She's had a long day.
So much learning about shabtis.
Probably sick of
the sight of them.
You do look rather
queasy, Princess.
It's best I get you
back to your uncle.
And you lot, sort out
those shabti crates.
Yes, 'cause that's definitely
what we were doing,
wasn't it, Henry?
Have I got something on my face?
You did magic, sis.
Real magic.
Really real.
Yeah, I did, didn't I?
I cured a curse.
I can fix Dad.
Cool. If there's
anything I can do,
if you need more chicken
bones, a drumstick I could eat?
Thanks, Henry, but
I think I've got
the magic sorted,
but you know,
Clive's shabti crates
aren't gonna shift themselves.
Right, yeah.
Guess that's on you and me then.
Sorry, Henry, gotta dash.
Those theatre queues
need entertaining.
But later, we so
need to talk about
well, everything.
I still have a lot of questions.
So, just me then.
Look, make sure Dad's okay.
Don't you worry.
I'm gonna make Dad safe.
[clock chimes]
Okay, I've got the magic,
I just need to find
the right spell.
[tense music]
♪
This has to work.
[strained breathing]
Hear me, ancients.
In the name of Khonshu,
lord of the moon,
of Horus, bright-eyed avenger,
and Sekhmet, fiercest
of guardians,
I cast this magic out.
I cast this magic out.
I cast this magic out.
This magic out out, out
I cast this magic out.
[sobs]
[quietly] I'm sorry.
Theo. [Clears throat]
- Dad?
- [grunts]
- Dad.
- Mm.
- Theo.
- Dad.
[clears throat]
[magical shimmering]
A, uh, remarkable recovery.
Ah. No curses now, eh, Theo?
No, Dad.
- Love you, Dad.
- Mm, love you too.
Really?
All this fuss over
what has proved to be
such a little ailment.
I am disappointed
in you, Alistair.
- Oh, Mother.
- You could hardly believe
I had a choice in the matter?
I never took you for a
malingerer, Alistair.
Well, I'm just happy I
recovered so speedily.
[conversation
continues indistinctly]
Two curses down
[magical shimmering]
Just hundreds more to go.
[whispering voices overlapping]
[exciting music]
♪