This World Can't Tear Me Down (2023) s01e03 Episode Script
Il faro
1
[theme music in Italian plays]
THIS WORLD CAN'T TEAR ME DOWN
[footsteps approaching]
[sirens blare]
["MMMBop" by Hanson plays]
[clamouring]
[static crackles]
["MMMBop" by Hanson plays]
[indistinct chatter]
Ooh ♪
Ooh ♪
You have so many relationships
In this life ♪
Only one or two will last ♪
You go through all the pain and strife ♪
Then you turn your back
And they're gone so fast ♪
Ooh yeah ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Mmm bop, ba duba du bop ♪
Du ba du bop duba
Ba dop ba du ♪
Yeah ♪
Mmm bop, ba duba du bop ♪
Du ba du bop duba
Ba dop ba du ♪
Yeah ♪
Say oh yeah ♪
Ba du bop ba ♪
[Zero] All of us have a sworn mortal enemy
and you can't bury the hatchet
no matter how much time goes by,
like France and England
in the 100 Years' War.
100 YEARS' WAR
IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS
Mine was Simon the moron.
This resentment was born
from a simple misunderstanding.
One Saturday afternoon,
we were at Eugenia's house,
where all the parties were held
because she had a huge living room
and her parents didn't give a shit.
On that day, we were doing something
in the way of studying
and possibly even perfecting
Sir Isaac Newton's theory of gravity.
We were throwing wet toilet paper
from the sixth floor.
It was the most normal thing in the world.
But that day,
it wasn't normal toilet paper.
It was the roll of destiny.
ROLL OF LONGINUS
FATUM
So, with the precision of a sniper
that only destiny could have,
perhaps guided by God himself
or the Virgin Mary of Toilet Rolls
of San Vito Chietino
[adventurous music plays]
I hit Simon Luchetti,
the notorious sore loser from Tiburtino,
square in the head.
From then on, a bitter feud began
that extended into
our respective friendship groups.
And almost every Saturday,
we'd provoke each other, fight,
look at each other suspiciously,
and make and break truces
'cause we were dickheads.
It was a huge mess that went on and on.
In fact, there was this constant tension,
because neither party was militarily
capable of putting a decisive end to it.
[kids grunt]
[girl] Mmm.
[suspenseful music builds]
[thud]
[Zero] Until along came Cesare.
Cesare was the atomic bomb
that compelled everyone to stay quiet.
The ultimate deterrent.
With Cesare, I felt like
the driver of Steel Jeeg.
What can scare you when you're driving
an 800-ton giant made of steel?
Of course, the question that popped into
my head every now and then was always
So why you then?
Doesn't it seem odd
that the biggest, toughest, nutcase around
is on a mission to stop you
getting slapped in the face?
[Zero] Oh, I've thought about it.
I think it's because I give him
the one thing he can't get for himself,
a space where even an 800-ton robot
can show that it has weaknesses
from time to time.
I'll explain.
I didn't know Cesare's friends that well.
They were older than me
and ran in different circles:
bars, testosterone,
cigarettes, and mopeds.
That slice of humanity
whose emotional intelligence
deviates from romanticism in literature.
Hey, Danielino tells me you like Marzia.
Are you an idiot?
I don't like her. I just fucked her.
Nice one!
Fucking's for men, liking's for fags.
And love is for women.
[all] Mm-hmm.
[Zero] Let's say
that in the suburban food chain
they were the predators
at the top of pyramid,
and showing weakness meant
being downgraded and getting mauled.
So Cesare rightly adapted
to that standard.
[burps]
[Zero] But with me, he could be different,
partly because, in the food chain,
I was Kermit the Frog
[frogs croaking]
[Zero] and because Sarah used to tell me
Oh, Zero, look after that kid
and don't you treat him like
the only thing he's good for
is beating people up.
He's more sensitive than he looks,
and underneath it all,
he's just messed up.
[Zero] And so he used to tell me
things like
You know, I think I'm a right twat
for dropping out of school, Zero.
[Zero] So I tried to get him
to understand that it was okay.
Even people on the street
recognise the value of education.
Oh, Ces, there's always time to go back.
You could go to night school.
There's loads of options
still open for you, you know.
And you can say these things
to the others as well.
It's very normal
to have these doubts, you know.
We don't all have to be tough
all of the time.
You see, with me, he felt comfortable
with his vulnerabilities,
because although we came
in two decidedly different packages,
him in an armoured tank,
me in a salmon trout,
inside, we had the same insecurities.
But he had them even worse than me.
That's why I tried to get him
to open up to the rest of the world,
to lighten this burden
of having to be that tough guy
who was good at fighting,
as if this role that other people
had given him
was the only role in life
that he believed he could play.
That's what big robots have to do.
It's not like they go to nursery.
One day, he was acting
even stranger than usual and he said
I had a strange dream, but I don't know
if I can tell you about it, though.
[Zero] I wanted to say
I listen to it all, and you wanna
tell me your dreams now?
The dreamlike dimension!
Who do you think you are? Michel Gondry?
[gags]
But then I remembered Sarah's warning.
[angelic music plays]
Look after him, I said!
Otherwise, you'll get a big slap, Zero!
[Zero] So, instead, I said
[sighs]
Do you really still think like that?
It's a dream.
Everyone has them. It's not a weakness.
You're being very hard on yourself.
Come on!
No, it's just that I dreamed about people
Some people that I know,
even friends of mine, you know?
But that's normal.
When people dream,
they reprocess things they experience.
They're the ingredients.
It's just that everyone was around me,
and I was, like, down on my knees.
It was a strange situation.
I get it.
You need to understand the symbolism.
Why were you on your knees?
What does that signify?
That's also why
you really need to tell people,
'cause it might relate
to your relationships with them.
It might help them loosen up a bit too.
And then they were
coming all over my face.
- [crash, glass shattering]
- [bird caws]
Yeah, um, well Oh, God.
Okay, so don't tell them then.
I don't know, um,
maybe they're open-minded.
But on the safe side,
I wouldn't take the risk with that.
Hey, I'm not a fag, I'm telling you!
I really like your friend,
and I've already fucked.
- And it was a girl, you know!
- Whoa.
But all I'm saying is that a dream
doesn't dictate your sexual orientation.
Besides, it's not if you find out
you actually like boys
or that you like boys as well as girls,
you need to feel there's anything
No, I don't like boys, for God's sake!
That dream disgusted me! You got that?
All right, all right, I was just saying.
[dog barking]
Did they give you the lottery numbers
as well as coming on you?
We could at least try playing them.
Apart from the numbers,
I understand fuck all about dreams.
I don't know why we surrender ♪
[Zero] I was saying that
to calm the conversation down,
but I really do understand fuck all.
Maybe all of us understood fuck all.
Like, I felt like a big shot
going to Eugenia's house
because my friend was huge
and no one could say shit to me.
But then I'd actually spend three hours
standing over the mini pizzas,
immobilised,
like Han Solo frozen in carbonite,
because what was much worse for me
than getting slapped in the face
was being seen dancing
and looking like a right twat.
Or worse still, finding myself
talking with that French chick
who made me go bright red,
my psoriasis flare up, sweat, and become
as gross as a crustacean boiling in agony.
I think we were all messed up
and confused there.
Some were holding onto
the big Japanese robot armour,
because they were all too scared
to actually look at what was inside.
I don't know why we surrender ♪
Others were trying to be brave,
holding their breath
and putting their heads under water
to see what was below the surface.
I know you know that it's true ♪
I don't know why we surrender ♪
I know you know that it's true ♪
I don't know why we surrender ♪
I know you know that it's true ♪
Know that it's
Know, know that it's true ♪
We, uh, have just come here to
s support the just cl claims of
the just claims of the residents
and the people of Italy.
[grunts]
Next Wednesday, the municipal council
will be held here, among the people,
and we will tell them loudly
that the shelter has to close!
- You need to take over!
- Be here or I'll smash your faces!
Yes, I live across from here.
We can't take any more.
We don't need any more foreigners.
We need work, and we need to be safe.
I want my 70-year-old mother to be able
to go out in the street
on her own at night
without being scared of running into
one of those thugs
who doesn't work and who thinks
he's owed everything in this country.
If you have a heart,
you must be here Wednesday!
I swear that I'm in shock.
Told you he was a dickhead. You're the one
who justified him all this time.
I know, but it's one thing
saying he's a dickhead,
and another him becoming
a spokesperson for the Nazis.
EVENING DRIVEL
[fanfare plays]
So then, since the start of this story,
I know you've all really been thinking
So why's he saying the word "Nazis"?
Does he still think it's 1945?
He's like that granddad
who thinks there's a bomb siren going off
every time the microwave pings.
No, I'll explain it to you methodically.
In this country, if you used
to say "fascist", it was horrible.
Now, nobody seems to give a shit any more.
They just say
- Well, he's a fascist, but he's all right.
- It's a bit like saying
Well, he's a celiac, a pain in the bum
when you have your tea out,
but it's not a big deal.
Nazism, however, is the last bastion
still struggling to find space
in the market of democracy,
maybe due to the fact Jewish people
are still upset
at what they went through
during the Holocaust.
So basically, if you think
that the Axis powers
should've won the Second World War,
then, for me, you're a Nazi.
I don't give a shit about knowing
in which years it was legitimate
to beat people up and make them
drink castor oil. Blah, blah, blah.
- [horn blows]
- [fanfare plays]
Uh, I guess I should go talk to him.
Won't make any difference.
You'll waste time
we could spend eating ice cream.
- Fine, but what do you know?
- I know it closes at 1:00.
[Zero sighs]
[Zero] I went,
but outside his house was absolute chaos.
All the journalists were there,
and he was the star of the show.
It was like Angelina Jolie
was on the red carpet.
And in the middle of all these vultures
as Mauro Crocodile,
from the TV show
I was supposed to appear on.
We have nothing to do with those balls
that were thrown last night,
but things like that happen
because people are exasperated
and they're ready to take
to the barricades in this area.
[Zero] I was disgusted by this scene
because I could tell
they were looking for a freak show.
Like when they asked me
those morbid questions
What can you tell us about the outskirts
as someone who lives in the outskirts?
What are people from the outskirts
actually like in the outskirts?
- [Zero] So I say
- What do I know?
They're normal people.
Some are crazy and some aren't.
It's not as if they're a sentient blob
with one brain that thinks for everyone.
But they're not happy with that answer
because they're obsessed
with the fact that living on the outskirts
are monsters and barbarians.
And the more folkloric, ungrammatical,
with face tattoos it is,
the more beastly it is,
the more they have to show it.
It's King Kong, you get me?
It's King Kong
when they bring him to the continent.
Just look how huge
his mighty nostrils are,
enabling him to smell his prey
from far, far away on his island
and sniff copious amounts of cocaine,
making his mighty jawbone swing to and fro
like a galleon sailing through the waves.
[indistinct chatter]
[Zero] It made my heart bleed
to see Cesare being treated like that.
I waited for the circus to leave,
and then I built up the courage.
But in the end, all I said was
Hey, Ces, can I talk to you for a minute?
If you want to thank me
for the other night, there's no point.
If you wanna give me a lecture,
there's even less point, all right?
I'm not gonna lecture you,
but don't you get that you're screwing up?
It's like they're making you talk
like a ventriloquist's dummy.
Well, I would've said that if his arms
weren't as big as my rib cage.
So I tried to take a wider angle
and get there through the Socratic method.
So look. I know
you're doing this in good faith,
but they're not nice people.
You poor guy. For 20 years,
you've been off the face of the Earth.
- But know that these people
- Why are you treating me like a retard?
Those are the only people who've
listened to me since I've been back.
I get it, but they're using you 'cause
they need your help with this shit.
Okay, so I should listen to you instead?
You, who came to me crying
that you work too much
or that other bitch who hasn't even found
the time to come and say hello?
- Yeah, I know, but look
- What do you know?
What the fuck do you know?
You make money by telling stories
about your life
with all those retards applauding you.
But do you know what it feels like
when no one gives a fuck about you?
When you're just an ex-addict and people
can't even remember who the fuck you are!
You're just a fucking ghost
in a shitty community
that even God's forgotten about.
What the fuck do you know about this shit?
But what the fuck have
those 30 poor people
got to do with our shitty lives, Cesare?
I don't give a shit
about those 30 poor people!
I'm mad at everyone else,
the state who supports them,
gives them money, gives them houses
when they've never given me fuck all!
But what are they giving them?
They've filled your head with bullshit.
Can't you even see that?
Fuck off. You've really pissed me off now!
Listen. I know you're not like this.
Let's start again
with the Socratic method.
Get away from me for fuck's sake,
or I swear I'll kill you!
Honestly, back when he was
a zombie on heroin,
I probably could've taken him on,
but now he'd tear me to shreds
with just one hand.
Let's say that a generic spirit
of self-preservation persuaded me
that the discussion had come to an end.
That's it. Fuck off.
Get the fuck out of here!
Coming to lecture me,
you fuckin' piece of shit.
- You're confused, aren't you?
- [sighs] I don't know.
I was thinking about what he said to me.
The part where he said
that he'd beat you up
or the part
where it was pretty stupid to explain
how to get by to someone with a shit load
of problems you no longer have?
The second.
I'm starting to doubt if I have
the right to tell him
or if I should just keep quiet
about it all.
Uh, well, don't ask me, okay?
- Look. I can only tell you the risks.
- The risks of what?
The risks of personifying
the most unpleasant tarot mystery
- [thunder rumbles]
- the master of fucking everything.
I don't wanna teach anyone anything.
- I'm not the master
- So for example [clears throat]
[imitating Zero] From my loft in New York,
I'd like to bestow my sophisticated advice
on how to live on the outskirts.
- All right, but I don't talk like that.
- Well, I never said that you did.
And I don't have a loft in New York.
I live 100 meters from his house.
Hey! All I'm telling you are the risks
of looking in from the outside.
Are you feeling guilty?
[imitating Zero] We have
to love each other. We're brothers.
Please excuse me. I'm going to do
an interview with Cosmopolitan
and make a series for Netflix.
Blessed are ye
who are in line for benefits.
What a beautiful day it is.
You might get a suntan.
You've done the voice.
Anyway, I'm not that much of a dick.
I keep a low profile.
I stay at home, working all the time.
But it's not about being a dick.
It's about asking yourself whether you've
got the right to lecture someone or not.
[groans] I don't want to lecture anyone.
So I basically just need
to mind my own business.
That's right.
You can keep your nose out of it,
but you do run this risk.
[rapping]
Yeah, you know, I had these ideals ♪
Values, hoodies,
But now I've made some cash ♪
Ain't gonna flush down the bog ♪
For a couple of plebs
Who came here on boats ♪
Nazis read comics too
I can't burn half my audience ♪
- [farts]
- [stool splashes]
Your mum's right about you.
- Dear son, you're a shit.
- Sorry, but what does that mean?
First, you tell me
I'm not qualified to talk.
Now you say if I don't talk, I'm a shit?
Except your mum said it.
I'm just telling you all the risks.
The rest is up to you.
I'm sick of you being mysterious.
Tell me what I need to do? What do I do?
The changes in society
and the growing attention on gender issues
allow us to see
how the everyday expression
"getting fucked in the arse"
raises increasingly critical issues,
because it associates the act of anal sex
with unfounded negative connotations
and discrimination.
And so?
And so, you need to find another
expression that means the same thing.
Ugh, I was right, wasn't I?
I was right, wasn't I?
What does "right" mean?
We're talking about something
that we can't judge.
- So I was right, wasn't I?
- Yes! Yes, it went badly.
He's well and truly one of them now.
He's so stubborn.
There's no getting through.
Shall we go get some ice cream
to celebrate me being right?
[Zero] I was on my way to get
my 40th ice cream of the week
when I heard
Hey, Zero! Secco!
[Zero] It was our pterodactyl friend.
Let me explain.
Our pterodactyl friend
is one of those people
who is particularly active
in neighbourhoods driven by noble ideals.
And I represent those people as dinosaurs,
because I think they're cool people,
and dinosaurs are
the coolest thing in nature.
Also, because they date back to when
Mother Nature still had to go to work.
There's
a really cool documentary on Netflix
with all the interviews
and original recordings.
Yes, back in those days,
we did wonderful things.
We even had a bit
of a novel creative design idea.
We wanted people to see them and say,
"Wow. Why wasn't
I born as a dilophosaurus?"
Then we might have got a bit complacent.
If I had to pinpoint
the start of the decline,
it was when we got stuck with the monkeys.
Look at that ugly baboon
with its red bum hanging out,
making those stupid noises.
Hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Now what does that represent?
I don't even remember
why we were hell-bent on these animals.
You look at them today
and think, "Really?"
Hmm.
But we were always stoned
back in those days.
It was confusing. Here, look.
Horses,
those types of peacock
What a load of rubbish we made!
FATHER TRAGEDY
SINCE CHILDREN HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA
[Zero] Well, anyway, as well as being
as cool as dinosaurs,
they also have something
else in common with them.
Are you sure
that you can say this type of thing?
Yes, to explain they're not extinct,
but let's say they're witnesses of an era
Why are you getting bogged down with this?
It'll just make us argue
with the only people
who might not want to kill you
after they've watched this.
Well, no, I'm saying
they're the heirs to a long-held tradition
that is now partly fading away in society.
Have you examined
this with a professional?
Have you told them
that whenever things are going smoothly,
you perform circus tricks to guarantee
it all ends in blood and shit?
[grunts]
Fine, anyway, they're dinosaurs.
So we said to our pterodactyl friend
I've been wanting to call you.
Have you seen what these shits are doing?
I've seen, yeah. We held a meeting
about it last night, you know.
Are you guys coming tomorrow?
Oh, what's occurring?
I think we're going to head down
to the town hall
to tell them they can't do everything
the Nazis are saying.
Next Wednesday, they want to hold
the municipal council outside
so all the Nazis in Rome can come,
and it looks like people
want to close the shelter.
Tomorrow, we have to say
that it's unacceptable for them
to be given that platform.
I mean today, that piece of shit
Mauro Crocodile
was interviewing all those liars.
You know he's gonna be a guest
on that show next Wednesday, don't you?
Mind your own shit, all right?
Really?
Well, that's great you'll be there.
At least you can say a few things.
Yeah, I don't really know
what scope I'll have though.
Well, it's up to you. We trust you.
Surely you won't stay quiet
after that muppet said
he wanted to send us to jail, will you?
[clicks tongue]
Well, how many of you are coming tomorrow?
We're counting on you
since some of us have work in the morning.
Uh, well, just us two.
It's not like when we get wet,
we multiply like Gremlins.
Why don't you also call your friend Sarah?
We'd have an extra body
and she's really switched on.
[footsteps approaching]
Do you know who those friends of yours
talked with?
Tell me now who had this idea?
No, 'cause I don't know.
I had a meeting that day.
And where was this meeting, then?
At the school with the other teachers
and we had a load of shit to sort out.
Can I have a quick word?
[Tonelli] All right then, what is it?
What can we do
to help our DIGOS colleagues out?
I have just had a call from the hospital.
- Seems one of them is badly hurt.
- Okay, how badly?
Oh. I wish I knew
how to respond to you, Tonelli.
I would really love that.
And you know why?
Because that would mean that I'm a doctor.
It would mean that day in September,
I'd listened to my mother,
and now in the mornings,
I'd be in the wards
doing my rounds, asking,
"How are you today, Mrs. Bianchini?"
Instead, I spend my life watching
Instagram stories of people I don't know
but who are now familiar to me,
crossing my fingers
that sooner or later they commit a crime
so as to make sense of all these hours
of cats and sunsets.
Why couldn't you have minded
your own fucking business?
I don't know what the fuck
I'm gonna do about this show.
Why? You told me
that you wanted to say something.
Yeah, but they're things I say
when I get delusions of grandeur
and feel guilty because I have visions
of Sandrina rotting away in jail.
Besides, they've made it pretty clear
that there's no way can I talk about it.
What the fuck do you care?
- It's live. You can say what you want.
- They can't cut you out.
Yeah, but I don't know if I have the guts
to cause this mess live on TV.
But why?
Do you think Crocodile will freak out?
- Yeah! Yeah!
- [heavy metal music plays]
[Secco]
Or that he's so crazy he'll attack you?
I don't think
he'll ever attack you on live telly.
Oh no, I don't think he'll attack me.
He's not gonna beat me up.
He's a gentleman.
But this is still something
that could cause a right mess, you know.
Anyway, in case he attacks you,
take "Peppe" spray.
As soon as you see him coming at you,
squirt him with spray
and punch him twice in the face.
Pow! Pow!
Except that it's "pepper spray".
Pepper, like the vegetable.
Not "Peppe", like short for Giuseppe.
"Peppe" spray.
- Pepper, with an R!
- "Peppe" spray.
Anyway, he's the anchor.
He can't beat people up on live telly.
That's what I'm saying.
He can't attack you. It's impossible.
But I could be in the audience with bombs.
All you gotta do is give me a signal.
I did it at my cousin's wedding.
I brought the whole church down
because she didn't want to have to say no.
And do you, Antonella, take Maurizio
to love and to cherish
[suspenseful music plays]
I looked it up on Google.
He really did. It's not bullshit.
Listen. I'm gonna call Sarah to see
if she'll come to this thing
at the town hall tomorrow
or she'll get offended we never call her.
Yeah, okay, ask her. I don't give a shit.
She didn't answer, and I was glad,
'cause I'm always glad
whenever people don't pick up the phone,
because it earns you arse-covering points.
Know what I mean?
And I actually note the calls down,
so the next time she says
- Zero, you never answer my phone calls!
- [Zero] I can say
Twentieth of October, 2019,
14 rings and then left you a voicemail.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
All right, have a look, see if there's
anything new on the local news.
Otherwise, we'll just meet up tomorrow.
Yup, there's a video.
Because of this here shelter,
the school is "depopopulating".
This school is at risk of closing,
because when the preregreg
the preregis registrations opened,
no one signed up.
And the parents do not
want to leave their children
close to a place that causes degradation,
where these people hang around.
Yes, we also have some of the teachers
who work at this school here,
so let's now ask them their opinion
of this story and these requests.
Boom! It was Sarah!
I didn't even know
that that was the school.
But then I thought,
"Well, it's bleedin' obvious,
because Sarah's always there
when she's needed".
It's almost like she's summoned
whenever I mess up.
She puts the pieces back together.
Basically, she's the person
who keeps my life bar upright.
Cocksucking Crocodile.
Now I'm going to get the popcorn ready
and watch her make them look like shit
and send them straight into the dustbin.
[Sarah] I I don't know.
I think these situations
are indeed very delicate,
and politics really shouldn't
exacerbate them.
What's she saying?
She seems a bit timid.
What does "exarbate" mean?
But I think that the schools
in working-class areas are important.
And if the only way of keeping them open
is to close the shelter,
maybe that's what needs to be done.
[waves crashing]
[footsteps approaching]
["'74-'75" by The Connells plays]
[Zero] Just think,
if you always had a go-to person,
a beacon that reminded you
where you needed to go.
You're lost in the dark, in a storm.
You could be completely abandoned.
Got not reason ♪
[Zero] But you knew that whatever
happened, that beacon was there.
And you relied on that beacon so much
that you built the whole village
around it, your whole life,
taking for granted
that it would always be there.
Stop it. You idiot?
[Zero] Then one day, all of a sudden
So then, will you be there
at the special municipal council meeting
that's being held next week?
I was the one ♪
Yes, if we need to go,
then we will be there.
Sorry ever after ♪
'74, '75 ♪
[Zero] And you're left in the dark
amongst all the debris.
Nothing to say
'Cause it's already said ♪
It's never easy ♪
When I look on in your eyes ♪
Then I find that I'll do fine ♪
When I look on in your eyes ♪
Then I'll do better ♪
I was the one who let you know ♪
I was your sorry ever after ♪
'74, '75 ♪
[calm rock music plays]
[theme music in Italian plays]
THIS WORLD CAN'T TEAR ME DOWN
[footsteps approaching]
[sirens blare]
["MMMBop" by Hanson plays]
[clamouring]
[static crackles]
["MMMBop" by Hanson plays]
[indistinct chatter]
Ooh ♪
Ooh ♪
You have so many relationships
In this life ♪
Only one or two will last ♪
You go through all the pain and strife ♪
Then you turn your back
And they're gone so fast ♪
Ooh yeah ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Mmm bop, ba duba du bop ♪
Du ba du bop duba
Ba dop ba du ♪
Yeah ♪
Mmm bop, ba duba du bop ♪
Du ba du bop duba
Ba dop ba du ♪
Yeah ♪
Say oh yeah ♪
Ba du bop ba ♪
[Zero] All of us have a sworn mortal enemy
and you can't bury the hatchet
no matter how much time goes by,
like France and England
in the 100 Years' War.
100 YEARS' WAR
IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS
Mine was Simon the moron.
This resentment was born
from a simple misunderstanding.
One Saturday afternoon,
we were at Eugenia's house,
where all the parties were held
because she had a huge living room
and her parents didn't give a shit.
On that day, we were doing something
in the way of studying
and possibly even perfecting
Sir Isaac Newton's theory of gravity.
We were throwing wet toilet paper
from the sixth floor.
It was the most normal thing in the world.
But that day,
it wasn't normal toilet paper.
It was the roll of destiny.
ROLL OF LONGINUS
FATUM
So, with the precision of a sniper
that only destiny could have,
perhaps guided by God himself
or the Virgin Mary of Toilet Rolls
of San Vito Chietino
[adventurous music plays]
I hit Simon Luchetti,
the notorious sore loser from Tiburtino,
square in the head.
From then on, a bitter feud began
that extended into
our respective friendship groups.
And almost every Saturday,
we'd provoke each other, fight,
look at each other suspiciously,
and make and break truces
'cause we were dickheads.
It was a huge mess that went on and on.
In fact, there was this constant tension,
because neither party was militarily
capable of putting a decisive end to it.
[kids grunt]
[girl] Mmm.
[suspenseful music builds]
[thud]
[Zero] Until along came Cesare.
Cesare was the atomic bomb
that compelled everyone to stay quiet.
The ultimate deterrent.
With Cesare, I felt like
the driver of Steel Jeeg.
What can scare you when you're driving
an 800-ton giant made of steel?
Of course, the question that popped into
my head every now and then was always
So why you then?
Doesn't it seem odd
that the biggest, toughest, nutcase around
is on a mission to stop you
getting slapped in the face?
[Zero] Oh, I've thought about it.
I think it's because I give him
the one thing he can't get for himself,
a space where even an 800-ton robot
can show that it has weaknesses
from time to time.
I'll explain.
I didn't know Cesare's friends that well.
They were older than me
and ran in different circles:
bars, testosterone,
cigarettes, and mopeds.
That slice of humanity
whose emotional intelligence
deviates from romanticism in literature.
Hey, Danielino tells me you like Marzia.
Are you an idiot?
I don't like her. I just fucked her.
Nice one!
Fucking's for men, liking's for fags.
And love is for women.
[all] Mm-hmm.
[Zero] Let's say
that in the suburban food chain
they were the predators
at the top of pyramid,
and showing weakness meant
being downgraded and getting mauled.
So Cesare rightly adapted
to that standard.
[burps]
[Zero] But with me, he could be different,
partly because, in the food chain,
I was Kermit the Frog
[frogs croaking]
[Zero] and because Sarah used to tell me
Oh, Zero, look after that kid
and don't you treat him like
the only thing he's good for
is beating people up.
He's more sensitive than he looks,
and underneath it all,
he's just messed up.
[Zero] And so he used to tell me
things like
You know, I think I'm a right twat
for dropping out of school, Zero.
[Zero] So I tried to get him
to understand that it was okay.
Even people on the street
recognise the value of education.
Oh, Ces, there's always time to go back.
You could go to night school.
There's loads of options
still open for you, you know.
And you can say these things
to the others as well.
It's very normal
to have these doubts, you know.
We don't all have to be tough
all of the time.
You see, with me, he felt comfortable
with his vulnerabilities,
because although we came
in two decidedly different packages,
him in an armoured tank,
me in a salmon trout,
inside, we had the same insecurities.
But he had them even worse than me.
That's why I tried to get him
to open up to the rest of the world,
to lighten this burden
of having to be that tough guy
who was good at fighting,
as if this role that other people
had given him
was the only role in life
that he believed he could play.
That's what big robots have to do.
It's not like they go to nursery.
One day, he was acting
even stranger than usual and he said
I had a strange dream, but I don't know
if I can tell you about it, though.
[Zero] I wanted to say
I listen to it all, and you wanna
tell me your dreams now?
The dreamlike dimension!
Who do you think you are? Michel Gondry?
[gags]
But then I remembered Sarah's warning.
[angelic music plays]
Look after him, I said!
Otherwise, you'll get a big slap, Zero!
[Zero] So, instead, I said
[sighs]
Do you really still think like that?
It's a dream.
Everyone has them. It's not a weakness.
You're being very hard on yourself.
Come on!
No, it's just that I dreamed about people
Some people that I know,
even friends of mine, you know?
But that's normal.
When people dream,
they reprocess things they experience.
They're the ingredients.
It's just that everyone was around me,
and I was, like, down on my knees.
It was a strange situation.
I get it.
You need to understand the symbolism.
Why were you on your knees?
What does that signify?
That's also why
you really need to tell people,
'cause it might relate
to your relationships with them.
It might help them loosen up a bit too.
And then they were
coming all over my face.
- [crash, glass shattering]
- [bird caws]
Yeah, um, well Oh, God.
Okay, so don't tell them then.
I don't know, um,
maybe they're open-minded.
But on the safe side,
I wouldn't take the risk with that.
Hey, I'm not a fag, I'm telling you!
I really like your friend,
and I've already fucked.
- And it was a girl, you know!
- Whoa.
But all I'm saying is that a dream
doesn't dictate your sexual orientation.
Besides, it's not if you find out
you actually like boys
or that you like boys as well as girls,
you need to feel there's anything
No, I don't like boys, for God's sake!
That dream disgusted me! You got that?
All right, all right, I was just saying.
[dog barking]
Did they give you the lottery numbers
as well as coming on you?
We could at least try playing them.
Apart from the numbers,
I understand fuck all about dreams.
I don't know why we surrender ♪
[Zero] I was saying that
to calm the conversation down,
but I really do understand fuck all.
Maybe all of us understood fuck all.
Like, I felt like a big shot
going to Eugenia's house
because my friend was huge
and no one could say shit to me.
But then I'd actually spend three hours
standing over the mini pizzas,
immobilised,
like Han Solo frozen in carbonite,
because what was much worse for me
than getting slapped in the face
was being seen dancing
and looking like a right twat.
Or worse still, finding myself
talking with that French chick
who made me go bright red,
my psoriasis flare up, sweat, and become
as gross as a crustacean boiling in agony.
I think we were all messed up
and confused there.
Some were holding onto
the big Japanese robot armour,
because they were all too scared
to actually look at what was inside.
I don't know why we surrender ♪
Others were trying to be brave,
holding their breath
and putting their heads under water
to see what was below the surface.
I know you know that it's true ♪
I don't know why we surrender ♪
I know you know that it's true ♪
I don't know why we surrender ♪
I know you know that it's true ♪
Know that it's
Know, know that it's true ♪
We, uh, have just come here to
s support the just cl claims of
the just claims of the residents
and the people of Italy.
[grunts]
Next Wednesday, the municipal council
will be held here, among the people,
and we will tell them loudly
that the shelter has to close!
- You need to take over!
- Be here or I'll smash your faces!
Yes, I live across from here.
We can't take any more.
We don't need any more foreigners.
We need work, and we need to be safe.
I want my 70-year-old mother to be able
to go out in the street
on her own at night
without being scared of running into
one of those thugs
who doesn't work and who thinks
he's owed everything in this country.
If you have a heart,
you must be here Wednesday!
I swear that I'm in shock.
Told you he was a dickhead. You're the one
who justified him all this time.
I know, but it's one thing
saying he's a dickhead,
and another him becoming
a spokesperson for the Nazis.
EVENING DRIVEL
[fanfare plays]
So then, since the start of this story,
I know you've all really been thinking
So why's he saying the word "Nazis"?
Does he still think it's 1945?
He's like that granddad
who thinks there's a bomb siren going off
every time the microwave pings.
No, I'll explain it to you methodically.
In this country, if you used
to say "fascist", it was horrible.
Now, nobody seems to give a shit any more.
They just say
- Well, he's a fascist, but he's all right.
- It's a bit like saying
Well, he's a celiac, a pain in the bum
when you have your tea out,
but it's not a big deal.
Nazism, however, is the last bastion
still struggling to find space
in the market of democracy,
maybe due to the fact Jewish people
are still upset
at what they went through
during the Holocaust.
So basically, if you think
that the Axis powers
should've won the Second World War,
then, for me, you're a Nazi.
I don't give a shit about knowing
in which years it was legitimate
to beat people up and make them
drink castor oil. Blah, blah, blah.
- [horn blows]
- [fanfare plays]
Uh, I guess I should go talk to him.
Won't make any difference.
You'll waste time
we could spend eating ice cream.
- Fine, but what do you know?
- I know it closes at 1:00.
[Zero sighs]
[Zero] I went,
but outside his house was absolute chaos.
All the journalists were there,
and he was the star of the show.
It was like Angelina Jolie
was on the red carpet.
And in the middle of all these vultures
as Mauro Crocodile,
from the TV show
I was supposed to appear on.
We have nothing to do with those balls
that were thrown last night,
but things like that happen
because people are exasperated
and they're ready to take
to the barricades in this area.
[Zero] I was disgusted by this scene
because I could tell
they were looking for a freak show.
Like when they asked me
those morbid questions
What can you tell us about the outskirts
as someone who lives in the outskirts?
What are people from the outskirts
actually like in the outskirts?
- [Zero] So I say
- What do I know?
They're normal people.
Some are crazy and some aren't.
It's not as if they're a sentient blob
with one brain that thinks for everyone.
But they're not happy with that answer
because they're obsessed
with the fact that living on the outskirts
are monsters and barbarians.
And the more folkloric, ungrammatical,
with face tattoos it is,
the more beastly it is,
the more they have to show it.
It's King Kong, you get me?
It's King Kong
when they bring him to the continent.
Just look how huge
his mighty nostrils are,
enabling him to smell his prey
from far, far away on his island
and sniff copious amounts of cocaine,
making his mighty jawbone swing to and fro
like a galleon sailing through the waves.
[indistinct chatter]
[Zero] It made my heart bleed
to see Cesare being treated like that.
I waited for the circus to leave,
and then I built up the courage.
But in the end, all I said was
Hey, Ces, can I talk to you for a minute?
If you want to thank me
for the other night, there's no point.
If you wanna give me a lecture,
there's even less point, all right?
I'm not gonna lecture you,
but don't you get that you're screwing up?
It's like they're making you talk
like a ventriloquist's dummy.
Well, I would've said that if his arms
weren't as big as my rib cage.
So I tried to take a wider angle
and get there through the Socratic method.
So look. I know
you're doing this in good faith,
but they're not nice people.
You poor guy. For 20 years,
you've been off the face of the Earth.
- But know that these people
- Why are you treating me like a retard?
Those are the only people who've
listened to me since I've been back.
I get it, but they're using you 'cause
they need your help with this shit.
Okay, so I should listen to you instead?
You, who came to me crying
that you work too much
or that other bitch who hasn't even found
the time to come and say hello?
- Yeah, I know, but look
- What do you know?
What the fuck do you know?
You make money by telling stories
about your life
with all those retards applauding you.
But do you know what it feels like
when no one gives a fuck about you?
When you're just an ex-addict and people
can't even remember who the fuck you are!
You're just a fucking ghost
in a shitty community
that even God's forgotten about.
What the fuck do you know about this shit?
But what the fuck have
those 30 poor people
got to do with our shitty lives, Cesare?
I don't give a shit
about those 30 poor people!
I'm mad at everyone else,
the state who supports them,
gives them money, gives them houses
when they've never given me fuck all!
But what are they giving them?
They've filled your head with bullshit.
Can't you even see that?
Fuck off. You've really pissed me off now!
Listen. I know you're not like this.
Let's start again
with the Socratic method.
Get away from me for fuck's sake,
or I swear I'll kill you!
Honestly, back when he was
a zombie on heroin,
I probably could've taken him on,
but now he'd tear me to shreds
with just one hand.
Let's say that a generic spirit
of self-preservation persuaded me
that the discussion had come to an end.
That's it. Fuck off.
Get the fuck out of here!
Coming to lecture me,
you fuckin' piece of shit.
- You're confused, aren't you?
- [sighs] I don't know.
I was thinking about what he said to me.
The part where he said
that he'd beat you up
or the part
where it was pretty stupid to explain
how to get by to someone with a shit load
of problems you no longer have?
The second.
I'm starting to doubt if I have
the right to tell him
or if I should just keep quiet
about it all.
Uh, well, don't ask me, okay?
- Look. I can only tell you the risks.
- The risks of what?
The risks of personifying
the most unpleasant tarot mystery
- [thunder rumbles]
- the master of fucking everything.
I don't wanna teach anyone anything.
- I'm not the master
- So for example [clears throat]
[imitating Zero] From my loft in New York,
I'd like to bestow my sophisticated advice
on how to live on the outskirts.
- All right, but I don't talk like that.
- Well, I never said that you did.
And I don't have a loft in New York.
I live 100 meters from his house.
Hey! All I'm telling you are the risks
of looking in from the outside.
Are you feeling guilty?
[imitating Zero] We have
to love each other. We're brothers.
Please excuse me. I'm going to do
an interview with Cosmopolitan
and make a series for Netflix.
Blessed are ye
who are in line for benefits.
What a beautiful day it is.
You might get a suntan.
You've done the voice.
Anyway, I'm not that much of a dick.
I keep a low profile.
I stay at home, working all the time.
But it's not about being a dick.
It's about asking yourself whether you've
got the right to lecture someone or not.
[groans] I don't want to lecture anyone.
So I basically just need
to mind my own business.
That's right.
You can keep your nose out of it,
but you do run this risk.
[rapping]
Yeah, you know, I had these ideals ♪
Values, hoodies,
But now I've made some cash ♪
Ain't gonna flush down the bog ♪
For a couple of plebs
Who came here on boats ♪
Nazis read comics too
I can't burn half my audience ♪
- [farts]
- [stool splashes]
Your mum's right about you.
- Dear son, you're a shit.
- Sorry, but what does that mean?
First, you tell me
I'm not qualified to talk.
Now you say if I don't talk, I'm a shit?
Except your mum said it.
I'm just telling you all the risks.
The rest is up to you.
I'm sick of you being mysterious.
Tell me what I need to do? What do I do?
The changes in society
and the growing attention on gender issues
allow us to see
how the everyday expression
"getting fucked in the arse"
raises increasingly critical issues,
because it associates the act of anal sex
with unfounded negative connotations
and discrimination.
And so?
And so, you need to find another
expression that means the same thing.
Ugh, I was right, wasn't I?
I was right, wasn't I?
What does "right" mean?
We're talking about something
that we can't judge.
- So I was right, wasn't I?
- Yes! Yes, it went badly.
He's well and truly one of them now.
He's so stubborn.
There's no getting through.
Shall we go get some ice cream
to celebrate me being right?
[Zero] I was on my way to get
my 40th ice cream of the week
when I heard
Hey, Zero! Secco!
[Zero] It was our pterodactyl friend.
Let me explain.
Our pterodactyl friend
is one of those people
who is particularly active
in neighbourhoods driven by noble ideals.
And I represent those people as dinosaurs,
because I think they're cool people,
and dinosaurs are
the coolest thing in nature.
Also, because they date back to when
Mother Nature still had to go to work.
There's
a really cool documentary on Netflix
with all the interviews
and original recordings.
Yes, back in those days,
we did wonderful things.
We even had a bit
of a novel creative design idea.
We wanted people to see them and say,
"Wow. Why wasn't
I born as a dilophosaurus?"
Then we might have got a bit complacent.
If I had to pinpoint
the start of the decline,
it was when we got stuck with the monkeys.
Look at that ugly baboon
with its red bum hanging out,
making those stupid noises.
Hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Now what does that represent?
I don't even remember
why we were hell-bent on these animals.
You look at them today
and think, "Really?"
Hmm.
But we were always stoned
back in those days.
It was confusing. Here, look.
Horses,
those types of peacock
What a load of rubbish we made!
FATHER TRAGEDY
SINCE CHILDREN HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA
[Zero] Well, anyway, as well as being
as cool as dinosaurs,
they also have something
else in common with them.
Are you sure
that you can say this type of thing?
Yes, to explain they're not extinct,
but let's say they're witnesses of an era
Why are you getting bogged down with this?
It'll just make us argue
with the only people
who might not want to kill you
after they've watched this.
Well, no, I'm saying
they're the heirs to a long-held tradition
that is now partly fading away in society.
Have you examined
this with a professional?
Have you told them
that whenever things are going smoothly,
you perform circus tricks to guarantee
it all ends in blood and shit?
[grunts]
Fine, anyway, they're dinosaurs.
So we said to our pterodactyl friend
I've been wanting to call you.
Have you seen what these shits are doing?
I've seen, yeah. We held a meeting
about it last night, you know.
Are you guys coming tomorrow?
Oh, what's occurring?
I think we're going to head down
to the town hall
to tell them they can't do everything
the Nazis are saying.
Next Wednesday, they want to hold
the municipal council outside
so all the Nazis in Rome can come,
and it looks like people
want to close the shelter.
Tomorrow, we have to say
that it's unacceptable for them
to be given that platform.
I mean today, that piece of shit
Mauro Crocodile
was interviewing all those liars.
You know he's gonna be a guest
on that show next Wednesday, don't you?
Mind your own shit, all right?
Really?
Well, that's great you'll be there.
At least you can say a few things.
Yeah, I don't really know
what scope I'll have though.
Well, it's up to you. We trust you.
Surely you won't stay quiet
after that muppet said
he wanted to send us to jail, will you?
[clicks tongue]
Well, how many of you are coming tomorrow?
We're counting on you
since some of us have work in the morning.
Uh, well, just us two.
It's not like when we get wet,
we multiply like Gremlins.
Why don't you also call your friend Sarah?
We'd have an extra body
and she's really switched on.
[footsteps approaching]
Do you know who those friends of yours
talked with?
Tell me now who had this idea?
No, 'cause I don't know.
I had a meeting that day.
And where was this meeting, then?
At the school with the other teachers
and we had a load of shit to sort out.
Can I have a quick word?
[Tonelli] All right then, what is it?
What can we do
to help our DIGOS colleagues out?
I have just had a call from the hospital.
- Seems one of them is badly hurt.
- Okay, how badly?
Oh. I wish I knew
how to respond to you, Tonelli.
I would really love that.
And you know why?
Because that would mean that I'm a doctor.
It would mean that day in September,
I'd listened to my mother,
and now in the mornings,
I'd be in the wards
doing my rounds, asking,
"How are you today, Mrs. Bianchini?"
Instead, I spend my life watching
Instagram stories of people I don't know
but who are now familiar to me,
crossing my fingers
that sooner or later they commit a crime
so as to make sense of all these hours
of cats and sunsets.
Why couldn't you have minded
your own fucking business?
I don't know what the fuck
I'm gonna do about this show.
Why? You told me
that you wanted to say something.
Yeah, but they're things I say
when I get delusions of grandeur
and feel guilty because I have visions
of Sandrina rotting away in jail.
Besides, they've made it pretty clear
that there's no way can I talk about it.
What the fuck do you care?
- It's live. You can say what you want.
- They can't cut you out.
Yeah, but I don't know if I have the guts
to cause this mess live on TV.
But why?
Do you think Crocodile will freak out?
- Yeah! Yeah!
- [heavy metal music plays]
[Secco]
Or that he's so crazy he'll attack you?
I don't think
he'll ever attack you on live telly.
Oh no, I don't think he'll attack me.
He's not gonna beat me up.
He's a gentleman.
But this is still something
that could cause a right mess, you know.
Anyway, in case he attacks you,
take "Peppe" spray.
As soon as you see him coming at you,
squirt him with spray
and punch him twice in the face.
Pow! Pow!
Except that it's "pepper spray".
Pepper, like the vegetable.
Not "Peppe", like short for Giuseppe.
"Peppe" spray.
- Pepper, with an R!
- "Peppe" spray.
Anyway, he's the anchor.
He can't beat people up on live telly.
That's what I'm saying.
He can't attack you. It's impossible.
But I could be in the audience with bombs.
All you gotta do is give me a signal.
I did it at my cousin's wedding.
I brought the whole church down
because she didn't want to have to say no.
And do you, Antonella, take Maurizio
to love and to cherish
[suspenseful music plays]
I looked it up on Google.
He really did. It's not bullshit.
Listen. I'm gonna call Sarah to see
if she'll come to this thing
at the town hall tomorrow
or she'll get offended we never call her.
Yeah, okay, ask her. I don't give a shit.
She didn't answer, and I was glad,
'cause I'm always glad
whenever people don't pick up the phone,
because it earns you arse-covering points.
Know what I mean?
And I actually note the calls down,
so the next time she says
- Zero, you never answer my phone calls!
- [Zero] I can say
Twentieth of October, 2019,
14 rings and then left you a voicemail.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
All right, have a look, see if there's
anything new on the local news.
Otherwise, we'll just meet up tomorrow.
Yup, there's a video.
Because of this here shelter,
the school is "depopopulating".
This school is at risk of closing,
because when the preregreg
the preregis registrations opened,
no one signed up.
And the parents do not
want to leave their children
close to a place that causes degradation,
where these people hang around.
Yes, we also have some of the teachers
who work at this school here,
so let's now ask them their opinion
of this story and these requests.
Boom! It was Sarah!
I didn't even know
that that was the school.
But then I thought,
"Well, it's bleedin' obvious,
because Sarah's always there
when she's needed".
It's almost like she's summoned
whenever I mess up.
She puts the pieces back together.
Basically, she's the person
who keeps my life bar upright.
Cocksucking Crocodile.
Now I'm going to get the popcorn ready
and watch her make them look like shit
and send them straight into the dustbin.
[Sarah] I I don't know.
I think these situations
are indeed very delicate,
and politics really shouldn't
exacerbate them.
What's she saying?
She seems a bit timid.
What does "exarbate" mean?
But I think that the schools
in working-class areas are important.
And if the only way of keeping them open
is to close the shelter,
maybe that's what needs to be done.
[waves crashing]
[footsteps approaching]
["'74-'75" by The Connells plays]
[Zero] Just think,
if you always had a go-to person,
a beacon that reminded you
where you needed to go.
You're lost in the dark, in a storm.
You could be completely abandoned.
Got not reason ♪
[Zero] But you knew that whatever
happened, that beacon was there.
And you relied on that beacon so much
that you built the whole village
around it, your whole life,
taking for granted
that it would always be there.
Stop it. You idiot?
[Zero] Then one day, all of a sudden
So then, will you be there
at the special municipal council meeting
that's being held next week?
I was the one ♪
Yes, if we need to go,
then we will be there.
Sorry ever after ♪
'74, '75 ♪
[Zero] And you're left in the dark
amongst all the debris.
Nothing to say
'Cause it's already said ♪
It's never easy ♪
When I look on in your eyes ♪
Then I find that I'll do fine ♪
When I look on in your eyes ♪
Then I'll do better ♪
I was the one who let you know ♪
I was your sorry ever after ♪
'74, '75 ♪
[calm rock music plays]