Thou Shalt Not Steal (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

[theme music]
[farting]
[Robyn VO] Ringer said
them missionaries told him,
"Thou shall not take the
name of the lord
thy god in vain"
How come?
What's he going to do?
Strike you down?
[sprightly western music]
[kettle boiling]
["Lady Nicotine" by
Gordon Parsons playing]
Early morning day was
dawning just when I awoke ♪
By itself across the shelf
a hand pulled out a smoke ♪
A healthy draw
and then some more ♪
I coughed all in-between ♪
Right or wrong my heart
belongs to Lady Nicotine ♪
Oh Lady Nicotine
you're in my veins ♪
You weigh my body down ♪
[heavy coughing]
I've been your willing slave
but can't you see ♪
Your ruling hand will
be the death of me ♪
Now in my chest
when I'm at rest ♪
That organ starts to play ♪
My heart becomes a native
drum that beats my life away ♪
My doctor says ♪
My smoking ways
the worst he's ever seen ♪
My throat's a flame
and she's to blame ♪
That Lady Nicotine ♪
[knocking on door]
I'm taking a shit!
[knocking louder]
[screaming] Fuck off!
[knocking louder]
- Jesus!
- [more knocking]
[knocking]
You better have a
fucking good reason,
for disturbing me mid-shit!
["Lady Nicotine"
continues playing]
Sorry about that -
caught me mid-sleep.
Big congregation,
you know.
Well, I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for me taxi.
You don't look much
like a taxi driver.
Well, you don't look
much like a preacher.
[Maxine]
Little darling stole it.
Thought you
might've seen it.
Oh yeah, why'd you think that?
Found this outside your door.
Ah, there might've been one,
parked up there,
over there last night.
Why don't you go and ask him?
[Maxine] Nah!
No need to bother
the police about it.
Ah
Me son might have seen it.
He was out here last night.
[whistling]
Gidge!
Gidge!
Fuck
Fucking moron
[Maxine] I don't reckon
you're going to find him.
Oh yeah. Why not?
Dad
Gone
[tense music rising]
[car rattling]
[car stopping and
hand brake applied]
Oh
[Gidge] Um, hello
Um
I wanted to wait until you
were far enough away
that you couldn't turn back.
Hey! Oh, hey, hey, hey!
You fucking pervert -
watching me take a shit.
What? What?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not
Hey, hey, hey.
Wait, no You can't
You can't just leave me here.
Hey, hey, stop, alright.
You're stuck!
You're making it worse.
I'll push it.
[engine accelerating]
Fuck!
[Gidge coughing]
[Gidge] It's okay.
We just need to get some sticks
and we can get it out.
Go on then.
Well, if I get the car out,
will you take me with you?
[bird calling]
Alright
[Maxine] So you got no idea
where your son would go?
Sorry. Can't help ya.
[Mary] Hey Father!
Any grog?
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
[Mary] I'm empty.
[Robert]
Where'd she get that?
That's our bloody sacramental
wine for the services.
- [Mary] Robyn.
- Robyn?
You know Robyn?
Where'd she go?
How much for a bottle?
Oh, they're not
for sale, they're--
[Maxine] Oh sacramental wine
for your services.
Yeah, sure Father.
I could check.
[Maxine] You're too kind.
[glass clinking]
[man speaking in background]
Where'd Robyn go?
Coober Pedy.
Fuck me dead!
Fucking Coober Pedy.
[spitting]
Shall we go, then?
Oh, I don't know,
I mean
I'm going to need
some money for fuel.
Coober Pedy! It's a long way.
[scoffing]
Well, that's not going to
get us bloody far, is it?
That's all I got on me
Father
It's ah, Reverend, not Father.
Alright!
Now just
Slowly does it.
[car starting]
Alright
Alright, go!
[engine accelerating]
- [clanking]
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
Don't worry. Do not worry.
[spitting]
Alright
[Gidge exerting]
Alright
Wrong way.
[Gidge] Ooh
Oh, well, I'll just,
I'll get the spare.
Oi! Who owns this taxi?
Because there's no -
spare.
[Gidge] It's a nice bag.
[vehicle and caravan rattling]
[music playing on radio]
Should have left the
caravan back there.
It's not a caravan.
It's my home.
[Maxine] Cosy.
How long you been on
the road, preaching?
- Five years.
- Just you and your son?
You ask a lot of
questions, don't you?
Wife?
[clearing throat]
Radio check.
Radio check. Over!
[Gidge] We could pay
someone to help us.
Who?
No one out here.
[Gidge] Well, what
do we do then?
Wait.
Here, drink.
[sniffing]
[scoffing]
You're fucked!
We, we, we need
to keep our fluids
Ah, ahhh
[vehicle rattling in distance]
[urgent music]
Hey! Wait!
Oh my God,
that's my dad!
What are you doing?
[Robert] What are you doing?
I saw something.
[flies buzzing]
[Robert] It's a bloody
goose chase!
I'm having a piss and
then we're turning back.
[undoes zipper]
[urine splashing]
[Robert farting]
Ah shit! Dribbly dick.
Fucking Robyn
Oh, fucking hell.
[Robert] You just bloody
make yourself at home,
why don't you - just fucking
Oh, sorry, I was just
Would you mind tying me up?
[Robert exhaling]
Oh yeah
[clearing throat]
- You alright?
- Oh yeah.
[Robert] There
Well, ah, you ready
to head back?
[Robert coughing nervously]
They're my son's.
He's got a dirty mind.
You're quite a bloke,
aren't you Robert?
You could drop me
at a roadhouse.
I'm sure I could hitch a ride
back to Coober Pedy.
Oh
Well, I mean, I guess,
I guess we could keep going.
Yeah?
[Robert] There's a lot of
bad blokes on the road.
A lot of real sickos, you know?
You're a good man, Robert.
Ahh
Try my best.
["Here I Am" by
Chad Morgan playing]
They tell me
you've been looking ♪
For someone
to hold you tight ♪
To give you lots of lovin' ♪
While the moon
is shining bright ♪
Well, here I am ♪
Who was that?
It's her taxi.
Well, I'm loaded down
with sex appeal ♪
For the women yes it's true ♪
So if want lots of lovin' ♪
Well, here I am
I'm the bloke for you ♪
You tell me you've
been hunting around ♪
For the bloke with
a kiss like fire ♪
Well, your hunting days
are over, girl ♪
If that's all you desire
'cause here I am ♪
I'm a perfect specimen
the kind of a bloke ♪
That all the sorts
would wanna win ♪
'Cause now I don't
want to skite too much ♪
That's not the thing to do ♪
But if you wanna
kiss with fire ♪
Well here I am
I've got that too ♪
[Gidge exclaiming]
[caravan rattling]
Did you know if you cup
the air with your hand,
it feels like you're
caressing a breast.
Yeah?
Give it a go.
Ah, no, I'm good.
What kind of a bloke are you?
Go on!
There he goes.
How's it feel?
- [Maxine chuckling]
- Yeah. Nice.
'Legend'.
That's all I know about him,
his name.
Well, I, I think, um,
I think that's the horse.
What?
Legend - that's the,
it's the horse.
Your dad's name's is, um
Yeah, I think
Steve
Sanders.
Steve Sanders.
Steve?
My name's Robyn.
- Fuck! Fuck!
- What?
- Did they see me?
- Yes! Obviously.
- Get here!
- What? Why?
Oi! Hey! Over here.
Get here!
Why? What, what's wrong?
How, how come?
I don't understand.
- Did they see me?
- Yes, of course they saw you.
Robyn, they could help us.
We're not supposed
to be here?
[Gidge] Why?
[Robyn] Men's business.
- Well, I'm a man.
[people chattering]
[Maxine] Hey, sweetheart!
What are you doing
back in this shithole for?
Come here.
[kissing]
Little darling stole my taxi.
- Aboriginal?
- Yeah.
Racist!
- You seen it?
- No, you'd be the first to know.
Oh, fuck!
Fucking everything's
in that fucking taxi.
- Drink?
- Yeah. Scotch.
Cheers.
How about you, love?
What can I get you
besides an eyeful of tits?
Oh, I was just
daydreaming about -
not, not about -
er, what was the question?
Drink?
He don't drink.
He's a preacher.
Yeah, no, I'll have a
Fanta on the rocks, thanks.
[chuckling]
What would you do
to them though?
- Hey?
- Those fun bags there?
Do you want to do them, Father?
Would you like -
would you want to like suck
on them like little baby Jesus?
You know
[makes sucking noises]
Ah
Yeah! I mean,
I guess, yeah.
Well, she's my wife.
- Yeah
- Yeah, yep
[Robert] How do youse
all know each other?
Oh, we all used
to work together.
Oh, what,
you're all taxi drivers?
- On our backs
- Huh?
Just 'cause I drive a taxi does
not make me a taxi driver.
Sorry, I, I don't follow.
- She's a prostitute, mate.
- Was!
Oh right, I see.
[Sugar laughing]
[fire crackling]
[rustling]
- Did you hear that?
- Stop it.
Sorry.
[gunshot]
[car horn tooting]
[Robyn] Shit! Shit!
[vehicle accelerating]
[Gidge] Okay, don't worry.
Don't worry.
[vehicle approaching
and stopping]
[Gidge] Okay, just, alright.
Just, just
Just stay there.
Stay back.
[Robyn] They're
going to grab you.
What are you doing?
- I'm defending you!
- Don't be a hero.
Stay back.
Robyn?
- What are they saying?
- I don't know.
- Why not?
- It's not my language.
[man laughing]
[men discussing in
Indigenous language]
[gentle upbeat music]
[Robyn sighing]
[Gidge laughing]
Jesus!
[engine starting]
[soft guitar chords]
[guitar silenced]
[car approaching]
[Maxine] It's not them.
[Robert] Been waiting for hours.
[Maxine] There's only one road.
We just have to wait.
Hypothetically
[clearing throat]
if one was to avail oneself
of your services
Well, you know,
how does that work?
Do you, do you have
different tiers and whatnot?
Tiers?
Well, yeah, like you know,
different prices
for different things.
- You want a root?
- Yeah, well
I wouldn't
put it like that, but
How much you got?
Um, I've got your fuel money.
What would that get me?
Oh
[licking sounds]
[Robert moaning and gasping]
[gasping and moaning]
[sharp exhales]
Fuck me dead!
[caravan door slamming]
[truck accelerating past]
Big Pete.
- [Pete on radio] Who's asking?
- It's Maxine.
You see my taxi?
Little darling stole it.
[Pete] One of your girls turn on
you, did they?
Something like that.
Putting the word out
to all the fellas.
There's a reward
for who helps me find it.
Not if I find it first.
- [electrical spark]
- Ow!
[Robyn VO] My pop,
Ringer, reckoned,
God is always watching -
big pervert.
Apparently we are all
God's children too.
Then where is he?
Just another drop dead Dad.
Men, hey, always
making trouble
and women coming
to their rescue.
But mess with us -
we'll strike you down and
you'll never see it coming.
[car approaching and passing]
["Ngurrapanya Tjayla" by
Isaac Yamma playing]