Top Gear: Extra Gear (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1 Hi, I'm Rory Reid.
Welcome to Extra Gear.
Each week, we're giving you the finest in optional extras from Top Gear.
Tonight, we'll be showing you some exclusive unseen Hoonicorn footage, I'll show you behind the scenes of my hot hatches film, and my turbo-charged co-host Chris Harris is here to talk cars.
Chris, what have you got? Well, there is a lot of love for the Audi R8 this week, but it's not the only kid on the block.
I'll be driving what's hidden under this cover.
Thank you, Chris.
And, as if that wasn't enough, comedian Zoe Lyons is with us.
Yeah, yeah.
She looks like trouble.
Security, be on standby! And you'll get a chance to do a lap of Laguna Seca with the Queen of the Vomit Comet, Sabine.
- Whoo! - You've got to beat the machine.
You've got to beat the machine.
Come on, now.
It's fast, it's furious This is Extra Gear! Chris, we both made our debut on the big show, on Top Gear, this week.
I had the Focus RS, you had the Ferrari F12 TDF.
They don't seem to trust you with the expensive ones, do they, Rory? Trust? All right, you want to go to trust? - Listen, I got a clip, yeah? - Oh, come on.
That illustrates exactly how much you should be trusted.
This is from your, uh, TDF film.
Let's roll that clip.
Oh, [BLEEP!.]
Five million nicker and the rear-view mirror falls off.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
It won't stay in, dude.
This This is supposed to be Mr Responsible.
This car costs six or seven million quid.
Well, I apologise profusely.
Oh, deary me.
That's so embarrassing.
But, look, ultimately, I had the better car.
But if you want to talk numbers, let's talk numbers.
OK, yeah.
I'll give you a number.
Six.
Focus RS, six-speed manual gearbox.
I'm a fan of the manual transmission, but the top speed of this thing in third gear exceeds that in sixth.
That's true, that's true.
0 to 60, though.
4.
7 seconds in the RS, and four-wheel drive -- it will do that every single time.
2.
9 seconds.
Allow myself a bit of leeway in the wet, I'm still faster, Rory.
Two words, then, mate.
Drift button.
- Where's yours? - One word -- childish, I'm afraid.
This thing just needs a bit of talent and a sensible right foot.
Let's talk money, right? £30,000, 370 grand I did the maths on this.
Pounds per horsepower, about 70 quid per horsepower.
Yours is roughly £400 for one horsepower.
These are some real numbers.
If you tried to sell that now you'd get a tickle over because it's so popular -- maybe 32 grand back from your £30,000 spend.
This has doubled its money the moment it drives out of the showroom.
700 grand.
I could buy a house with the change.
We're going to have to pick this up in the pub.
In the meantime, go over there.
Show us what you're driving today.
OK, it's very fast, it's very German -- it's Mercedes' new sports car, it's called the AMG GT S.
Look at this! I cannot wait to thrash this thing.
Thank you, Chris.
I feel genuinely sorry for what's about to happen to those tyres.
While he gets strapped in, I want to show you a real exclusive.
This week on Top Gear, we saw Matt and Ken Block take a spin around London very sideways in the famous Hoonicorn.
Who wants to see more Hoonicorn action? Yeah! Well, here it is.
Exclusive scenes filmed at a certain car factory down in Essex.
Whoa, whoa! The man is an animal.
Now, Ken Block loves a bit of sideways action, but he's not the only one.
It's time for me to hand over to a very small, usually angry person.
Chris, take it away.
Come on.
Good things lie behind the Top Gear studio door.
Look at this, some AMG awesomeness.
Now, I know that you'd like to see the R8 lapped, but you've already seen that, so let's try something different.
This is the new AMG.
We need to squeeze as much metal as possible in here, and this car is just fantastic, it really is.
The new Mercedes AMG GT S.
Basically, a shortened SLS without the gull-wing doors.
But there are some big changes underneath.
This new engine is code M178, for all you geeks.
It was M156 for the old normally-aspirated 6.
2 litre V8, this one is four litres and it has 510 horsepower and 479 foot-pounds of torque.
This is a competition to see how many numbers I can regurgitate during my fast lap.
Coming into the Hammerhead, what it's like.
Well, that shortened chassis means it's even more agile than before.
It loves to change direction.
It's quite an angry car, it really is.
What's it like through here? So much torque.
We go third gear, oh, and it's just pulling a massive, continuous, yee-ha slide.
I love this car, its personality is thug.
It's a 911 rival, but in reality, you know, it's just a bit more of a hooligan.
I'd say it was a German muscle car, and that's a great concept because they're good at making fast cars with big, loud, brash engines.
How much? 122,000 of your English pounds.
That is a lot of money, but then the AMG GT S is a lot of car.
Oh, we like a bit of that.
I love this thing.
Can I do another lap, please, Rory? Can I do another lap? Can I do another lap? He's having a little bit too much fun out there.
No, he's not getting another lap.
He's going to be back as soon as his brakes cool down and the adrenaline stops pumping through his veins.
In the meantime, I want to do something special.
Now, I did the hot hatches film with this Focus RS, and I thought it would be a great time to show people how a Top Gear film comes together.
So, I went to Wales and the Top Gear test track to show you this.
First up, we take it down to the Top Gear track for some hard laps .
.
and serious drifting.
So we're on the straight, right here, and we're going to do some tracking shots.
I'm in the star car.
I've got the director, John.
He's in one of the coolest cars on the planet, as far as I'm concerned.
It's this big Nissan with this huge arm on the top of it that basically swings around.
So, basically, John will give me directions as to how he wants me to drive, where he wants me to drive, and hopefully we'll get some cool shots.
OK, let's do this.
It's really difficult to actually see where the camera is because where the director wants you, you have to be so close to the camera car that the camera disappears.
So I've kind of got to trust my instincts and figure out how close I can get.
Got it.
Perfect.
Mate, you were bang on there.
I love it.
Whoo! OK, so we're just about to send Rory out.
He's now reviewing the Type R Civic, so he's going to just burn it round the track.
He's doing his in car.
- We'll do that, and then we're going to hit corners.
- OK.
- Yeah? Our lads are going to be shooting him as he hoons it around the track, and we're just going to see how he goes.
Looks like I just made the director a bit sick.
He was in the back listening to my lines and I was drifting and now he looks a little bit green around the gills.
Well happy with that.
I don't think I've ever felt so sick in my entire life.
Next we head to the hangar for the glamour shots, or statics, as we like to call them.
I'm Jim, I'm one of the producers on Top Gear, and we are going to shoot statics of hot hatches.
So we've got a laser set up, we're trying to do, to get those kind of glamorous shots of the cars.
I'm Chris Matthews, and we've been asked to supply lasers.
It takes a lot of, you know, a bit of thought.
You just need to feel your way around and then just get the right feel and see how it looks, and with a bit of smoke, and then, hopefully, it will make it look pretty good.
For me as a director, this is as good as it gets.
You know, it's Top Gear and I've got a studio and I've got lasers and I've got some cool cars.
It's about making them look as good as possible.
What's not to love? Lasers and crisps.
What could you possibly want? What? Look at that! Finally, we take the car out onto the open road.
Come have a look over here, actually.
Basically, what the guys are doing is the director's giving instructions.
You've got guys in the car Mind the mud.
.
.
rigging up the in-car cameras on suction mounts, aiming it at my face so I can deliver Rory! Can we stick you in, please, mate? I'm right here.
Would you mind going in so we can just frame up? Yup, cool.
This is what I'm talking about.
Come around this way, guys.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
- Getting in the way of me.
- Get in the car! So I'm just going to get in, get framed up, and that's it.
OK, so we're just about to send out Rory to do his in-car.
I'm going to be following behind in the tracking car, and, yeah, that's it for the day, we're just going to be rolling through like that all day.
For the first time, I'm going to get let loose on the Brecon Breek On the Brecon Bricka Bricka I can't even say it, but I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Yeah, don't overcook it, that's all I'm saying.
'John's only got three cameras on the ground to cover this, 'so I've got to go up and down the road about 25 times 'to get the shots.
' So, guys, I've just been doing a few runs up and down these lovely, twisty roads in the Brecon Beacons.
Got the cameramen on different points of the road, trying to get nice, lovely shots of me coming around these sweeping corners.
Jim, is the road clear? - 'OK, John.
' - Great.
Here we go, turnover.
And action.
'We split the road into four sections so we've got our hairpins, 'fast bends, straights, and even some jumps.
' Pretty interesting titbit.
So there's various means of me communicating with the other members of the team.
There are antennas in the car that we rig up so I've got direct comms with the director that allow him to hear what I'm saying with my microphone.
So he can basically see what the camera sees and hear what I say, so he's got a live feed inside the star car.
What I've got to remember is not to do anything inappropriate, like pick my nose or scratch my sensitive areas.
I've got to be on my best behaviour at all times.
- I can't believe they kept that in.
- Those idiots.
I can't believe you kept that in.
Now, listen, we've got to agree.
We had a disagreement about whether it was the F12 or the Focus RS that was the best, but one thing you can't deny is that hot hatches in general are amazing.
You must have had a few in your time.
You never grow out of them.
It's like a virus that stays in your body.
They're the best.
I currently have a Citroen AX GT.
722kg -- could have an accident standing still in that car.
Yeah, I had a Vauxhall Astra GTE 16 valve.
ABS didn't work at all, so I remember going straight on over a junction thinking, "This is it for me, I'm dead.
" But, you know They teach you how to drive.
Everyone should drive one.
They're the best thing.
Never grow out of them.
- Shall we do some news? - Yes, please.
There's been a lot of supercar talk this week, with the R8 and AMG that you just drove, but did you catch the new Nissan GT-R Nismo, by any chance? It's incredible, isn't it? They just improve it by degrees.
Every single month there seems to be another GT-R that goes another half a second quicker round the Nuerburgring.
It's got like a new face to it.
It looks a little more aggressive than the last one.
But if there's one thing that this didn't need, was more speed.
How much can you ring out of this system? More and more and more, it seems.
It's a subtle-looking number, isn't it, with the red decals? It's a remarkable piece of kit.
What it does is it takes a road and in just bullies performance from it.
It may weigh too much -- over 1,700 kilograms -- but it just drags performance out in the most brutal way.
- Yeah.
- And however cynical you are, the moment you drive one, you love it.
Now, China have proposed a new car-straddling bus as a way of solving their traffic crisis.
- I mean, can you imagine? - That's terrifying! Can you imagine that you've got Doris, 70 years old, bit nervous in her Corsa going through town, and suddenly she gets not overtaken but swallowed by a bus? I mean, what? What on earth are they thinking of? Not even Doris, I think anyone who is vaguely aware of their surroundings, seeing that coming up behind them, is just literally going to swerve, crash into the nearest person and that will be curtains.
There will be even worse traffic because of all the cars in flames everywhere.
One upside, though.
Going back to the Hoonicorn and Ken Block, that's the prop for his next thing, isn't it? For Gymkhana 9, or whatever it's going to be, drifting round that as it goes through town.
Our final story is this one.
They are going to be offering Premier League footballers driving lessons to make sure that when they take their high-performance sports cars out they don't crash it after five minutes.
Maybe it's a really, really good idea, or maybe they should just ban them from buying really nice cars, - I don't know.
- Well, you know, they kind of inspire the next generation of supercar owners.
They start out looking something like this, and then, usually That looks like a Lambo of some sort.
That was a Huracan, it understeered off because they all understeer.
That was the Ronaldo one, wasn't it? Yeah, Ferrari 599.
That was back in 2009.
They have to understand the difference being able to nutmeg a bloke with an inflated pig's bladder and actually driving a car.
It's quite different.
You can't carry one skill set into this, it doesn't work.
You need to learn how to do this as well.
They don't care, though.
They've got so much money they'll just crash it, buy a new one - and move on.
- Look at that.
It's wrapped black, as well.
So it's been wrapped, and wrapped into a tree.
That's Mario Balotelli's R8, there.
I'm all for it.
If you're going to buy a performance car, seek out some lessons, make sure that you don't wrap it round a tree and maybe, you know, one day you'll be almost as good as Chris Harris.
Oh, stop that.
It's like an episode of He-Man, with your moral message at the end.
I love it, Rory.
Thank you, Chris.
That was the news.
Now, let's get our guest out.
She's one of the few guests who actually has a car with the same name.
Shame it's a Renault.
It's Zoe Lyons and here she is in action.
When I sell the car that I own at the moment I can legitimately use the strapline one lady owner, and I'll tell you exactly what that means.
It means last month I drove it for half an hour with the handbrake on.
That's what that means.
Give it up for Zoe Lyons.
Zoe, thanks for joining us.
A Zoe Renault.
It's ridiculous, isn't it? It's such a cute-looking car, though.
- Look at it.
- It really isn't, though, Rory, is it? - I mean, look at that.
- It might even look like you, with the eyes.
No, look at that.
It needs a much bigger bonnet on the front if it's going to look like me, to match my hooter.
Chris, are you a fan of EVs? Erm, er You do this to me every single time.
- Cos I know you're going to say no.
- I don't mind them, I'm sure they're going to take over the world at some point, but not now.
What other great electric car names could you have had? You could have been called the Leaf.
Christened Leaf.
- I know.
- Model X.
I think they've called it the Zoe because Zoe in Greek actually means life.
But life's too short to drive one of those, surely, so What do you drive around in? At the moment, I've got a Volvo C30.
- That's - I love it.
- That's disappointing.
- Yeah, it's a - It's a very safe car, there it is.
- This is your car, isn't it? It's very safe, and it's a little bit tired, bless it.
Is that rust there on the wheel arch? No, that's birdie poop-poop because I live in Brighton, and it's frequently covered in a layer of bird waste.
So, yeah.
It's like a slightly glamorous Scandinavian Ford Focus, the way the glass just drops.
I'm with you, it's a pleasing thing to look at.
It's got quite a nice bum on it.
That's why I like it.
A Scandinavian backside.
That's what I'm looking for in a car.
If you were to change this, though, like, - what would you go for? - Audi TT TDI.
- That's what I'm looking - But a two litre, nothing crazy.
- The diesel, as well? - Diesel, so the engine will take the strain.
- I can't I can't - Come on, Chris.
You're supposed to be edgy and ambitious.
You're talking fuel economy.
Why don't you get a V8 Mustang and then just do some more gigs and pay for the fuel? Can you imagine? I couldn't afford to get to the end of the road.
You should aspire to buy the thing you can't afford and then find a way of affording it.
That's the way to do it.
Let's talk about your dream car, though.
- I've got a choice of three, if that's all right? - OK.
Jaguar F-Type because I think it looks like a beautiful modern classic, I love it.
I think it's a gorgeous shape.
Maserati GranTurismo.
Would have to be in white with red leather seats, - I'm a bit particular about that.
- Very specific.
But the ultimate would be the new Audi R8.
- OK.
- I think it looks fantastic.
Nice.
We saw it earlier and actually I've got a bit of unseen footage.
We know about Chris Evans throwing up in Laguna Seca because of Sabine Schmitz -- the Queen of the Vomit Comet.
We've got some footage of her lap, so let's take a look at it.
In three, two, one Go! Oh, I lost a second already.
Come on, Sabine.
You can do it! Whoa-ho-ho! Hairpin bend, corner number one.
Go on! - Go on, Sabine! - Whoo! - You've got to beat the machine.
You've got to beat the machine, come on now! Yes.
Corner number three.
- It's wet here.
Oh.
- Going well.
- It feels smoother.
- Yeah, good traction.
- Good traction.
- Oh Where is the flag? - Don't mind about my stomach, it doesn't matter.
- Whoa! You are faster! You're slightly faster at this point.
Oh That was smooth.
That was very smooth, and that's halfway, and we are one second quicker.
- You think so? - I know so.
I've got the watch.
"I know so, I've got the watch!" Up the hill, come on! Yes.
Oh, my God Oops! Oh, sorry.
That went wrong.
What are you doing? What are you doing?! Here is the corner, here we go, into the corkscrew! - We lost a bit of time, there - Hold on tight to your .
.
because Sabine lost concentration.
You're having too much fun, Sabine.
- No, this is great stuff.
Whoa.
- OK, to - Whoa, whoa, no! - Whoo! There was water running across the road.
Two more corners left.
- Yah! - Round the penultimate corner.
Argh, need to brake.
Very late braking into the last corner.
Come on, Sabine, you can do it! - Sideways into the home straight.
- Whoo! Go on, Sabine.
- Here is the finish line! - And over the finish line.
- Whoo! - Stop, stop! What's wrong? Stop, please stop.
Please.
Please stop.
Are you OK? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Go out, go out, go out! Poor Chris, he's never going to live that down.
What are you like as a passenger? Do you reckon you could handle that? I'm pretty good at holding my own, and anybody else's if they let me.
Chris, a lot of these people might not have been in a car that's going at a high speed, especially round a bend.
Are the G forces that you generate really, really enough to kind of stir up the pit of your stomach? It's all about not having something to hold on to.
When you're driving you've got the wheel, which keeps your centre of balance.
When you've not, you just feel nauseous and you slop around in the seat, you find things to hold on to, then you think you feel sick.
Once you think you feel sick, game over.
- Game over.
- Yeah.
- What's the fastest you've ever gone in a car? I'm about 110, but legally.
Legally.
It was a I did the Formula First experience at Silverstone, where you You get to go in the little open cockpit cars.
- Is that you? - That's me.
That's me.
My visor steamed up quite dramatically because I was breathing so heavily because I couldn't quite believe they'd let me loose in this car.
It was so much fun.
I love how the picture is even slanted to make you look like - Ayrton Senna.
- It does look quite cool.
- Proper action shot.
- There was quite a lot of middle-aged men who just wanted to prove to their wives that they could have been a Formula One driver had they not had kids.
This guy overtook me and I knew he wasn't going to make the next corner in time and it was just marvellous to watch him slide into the sand, as I sort of royal waved past him.
You've got a bit of an evil streak, haven't you? - I really do, don't I? - Chris, have you ever driven a Formula One car? Yeah, it's on the internet for all to see.
I spun it.
Why did you spin? I've never seen you spin.
Because it was zero I've got all the excuses -- it was zero degrees, wrong tyres, no traction control.
But it was a good spin, and Martin Brundle watched me do it as well.
- Go watch it online.
- Not good enough, mate.
You've I've lost it with you now.
He's human! When you take off out of the pit stop in one of those the guy went, "You're going to have to drive it "like you're going up a hill, from a hill start in fifth gear.
"That's the amount of sort of pressure you've got to give it.
" So I just sort of skidded out like this.
I stalled it about ten times before I got going.
Do you know what? I probably did the whole lap in second gear.
- That's actually all you need.
- Yeah.
- They are set up like that.
Screaming it, was.
Didn't you love the immediacy of it and how sharp it was and how direct it felt? Oh, it's so much fun.
It's so much fun.
Brilliant.
All right, Zoe Lyons, thank you so much for coming in.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up.
Zoe Lyons, everyone.
That's it from us.
Big thank you to Zoe Lyons.
Next week, comedians Ellis James and John Robins will be with us, and Chris and I will be bringing more brand-new exclusives.
Thank you and goodnight.
Welcome to Extra Gear.
Each week, we're giving you the finest in optional extras from Top Gear.
Tonight, we'll be showing you some exclusive unseen Hoonicorn footage, I'll show you behind the scenes of my hot hatches film, and my turbo-charged co-host Chris Harris is here to talk cars.
Chris, what have you got? Well, there is a lot of love for the Audi R8 this week, but it's not the only kid on the block.
I'll be driving what's hidden under this cover.
Thank you, Chris.
And, as if that wasn't enough, comedian Zoe Lyons is with us.
Yeah, yeah.
She looks like trouble.
Security, be on standby! And you'll get a chance to do a lap of Laguna Seca with the Queen of the Vomit Comet, Sabine.
- Whoo! - You've got to beat the machine.
You've got to beat the machine.
Come on, now.
It's fast, it's furious This is Extra Gear! Chris, we both made our debut on the big show, on Top Gear, this week.
I had the Focus RS, you had the Ferrari F12 TDF.
They don't seem to trust you with the expensive ones, do they, Rory? Trust? All right, you want to go to trust? - Listen, I got a clip, yeah? - Oh, come on.
That illustrates exactly how much you should be trusted.
This is from your, uh, TDF film.
Let's roll that clip.
Oh, [BLEEP!.]
Five million nicker and the rear-view mirror falls off.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
It won't stay in, dude.
This This is supposed to be Mr Responsible.
This car costs six or seven million quid.
Well, I apologise profusely.
Oh, deary me.
That's so embarrassing.
But, look, ultimately, I had the better car.
But if you want to talk numbers, let's talk numbers.
OK, yeah.
I'll give you a number.
Six.
Focus RS, six-speed manual gearbox.
I'm a fan of the manual transmission, but the top speed of this thing in third gear exceeds that in sixth.
That's true, that's true.
0 to 60, though.
4.
7 seconds in the RS, and four-wheel drive -- it will do that every single time.
2.
9 seconds.
Allow myself a bit of leeway in the wet, I'm still faster, Rory.
Two words, then, mate.
Drift button.
- Where's yours? - One word -- childish, I'm afraid.
This thing just needs a bit of talent and a sensible right foot.
Let's talk money, right? £30,000, 370 grand I did the maths on this.
Pounds per horsepower, about 70 quid per horsepower.
Yours is roughly £400 for one horsepower.
These are some real numbers.
If you tried to sell that now you'd get a tickle over because it's so popular -- maybe 32 grand back from your £30,000 spend.
This has doubled its money the moment it drives out of the showroom.
700 grand.
I could buy a house with the change.
We're going to have to pick this up in the pub.
In the meantime, go over there.
Show us what you're driving today.
OK, it's very fast, it's very German -- it's Mercedes' new sports car, it's called the AMG GT S.
Look at this! I cannot wait to thrash this thing.
Thank you, Chris.
I feel genuinely sorry for what's about to happen to those tyres.
While he gets strapped in, I want to show you a real exclusive.
This week on Top Gear, we saw Matt and Ken Block take a spin around London very sideways in the famous Hoonicorn.
Who wants to see more Hoonicorn action? Yeah! Well, here it is.
Exclusive scenes filmed at a certain car factory down in Essex.
Whoa, whoa! The man is an animal.
Now, Ken Block loves a bit of sideways action, but he's not the only one.
It's time for me to hand over to a very small, usually angry person.
Chris, take it away.
Come on.
Good things lie behind the Top Gear studio door.
Look at this, some AMG awesomeness.
Now, I know that you'd like to see the R8 lapped, but you've already seen that, so let's try something different.
This is the new AMG.
We need to squeeze as much metal as possible in here, and this car is just fantastic, it really is.
The new Mercedes AMG GT S.
Basically, a shortened SLS without the gull-wing doors.
But there are some big changes underneath.
This new engine is code M178, for all you geeks.
It was M156 for the old normally-aspirated 6.
2 litre V8, this one is four litres and it has 510 horsepower and 479 foot-pounds of torque.
This is a competition to see how many numbers I can regurgitate during my fast lap.
Coming into the Hammerhead, what it's like.
Well, that shortened chassis means it's even more agile than before.
It loves to change direction.
It's quite an angry car, it really is.
What's it like through here? So much torque.
We go third gear, oh, and it's just pulling a massive, continuous, yee-ha slide.
I love this car, its personality is thug.
It's a 911 rival, but in reality, you know, it's just a bit more of a hooligan.
I'd say it was a German muscle car, and that's a great concept because they're good at making fast cars with big, loud, brash engines.
How much? 122,000 of your English pounds.
That is a lot of money, but then the AMG GT S is a lot of car.
Oh, we like a bit of that.
I love this thing.
Can I do another lap, please, Rory? Can I do another lap? Can I do another lap? He's having a little bit too much fun out there.
No, he's not getting another lap.
He's going to be back as soon as his brakes cool down and the adrenaline stops pumping through his veins.
In the meantime, I want to do something special.
Now, I did the hot hatches film with this Focus RS, and I thought it would be a great time to show people how a Top Gear film comes together.
So, I went to Wales and the Top Gear test track to show you this.
First up, we take it down to the Top Gear track for some hard laps .
.
and serious drifting.
So we're on the straight, right here, and we're going to do some tracking shots.
I'm in the star car.
I've got the director, John.
He's in one of the coolest cars on the planet, as far as I'm concerned.
It's this big Nissan with this huge arm on the top of it that basically swings around.
So, basically, John will give me directions as to how he wants me to drive, where he wants me to drive, and hopefully we'll get some cool shots.
OK, let's do this.
It's really difficult to actually see where the camera is because where the director wants you, you have to be so close to the camera car that the camera disappears.
So I've kind of got to trust my instincts and figure out how close I can get.
Got it.
Perfect.
Mate, you were bang on there.
I love it.
Whoo! OK, so we're just about to send Rory out.
He's now reviewing the Type R Civic, so he's going to just burn it round the track.
He's doing his in car.
- We'll do that, and then we're going to hit corners.
- OK.
- Yeah? Our lads are going to be shooting him as he hoons it around the track, and we're just going to see how he goes.
Looks like I just made the director a bit sick.
He was in the back listening to my lines and I was drifting and now he looks a little bit green around the gills.
Well happy with that.
I don't think I've ever felt so sick in my entire life.
Next we head to the hangar for the glamour shots, or statics, as we like to call them.
I'm Jim, I'm one of the producers on Top Gear, and we are going to shoot statics of hot hatches.
So we've got a laser set up, we're trying to do, to get those kind of glamorous shots of the cars.
I'm Chris Matthews, and we've been asked to supply lasers.
It takes a lot of, you know, a bit of thought.
You just need to feel your way around and then just get the right feel and see how it looks, and with a bit of smoke, and then, hopefully, it will make it look pretty good.
For me as a director, this is as good as it gets.
You know, it's Top Gear and I've got a studio and I've got lasers and I've got some cool cars.
It's about making them look as good as possible.
What's not to love? Lasers and crisps.
What could you possibly want? What? Look at that! Finally, we take the car out onto the open road.
Come have a look over here, actually.
Basically, what the guys are doing is the director's giving instructions.
You've got guys in the car Mind the mud.
.
.
rigging up the in-car cameras on suction mounts, aiming it at my face so I can deliver Rory! Can we stick you in, please, mate? I'm right here.
Would you mind going in so we can just frame up? Yup, cool.
This is what I'm talking about.
Come around this way, guys.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
- Getting in the way of me.
- Get in the car! So I'm just going to get in, get framed up, and that's it.
OK, so we're just about to send out Rory to do his in-car.
I'm going to be following behind in the tracking car, and, yeah, that's it for the day, we're just going to be rolling through like that all day.
For the first time, I'm going to get let loose on the Brecon Breek On the Brecon Bricka Bricka I can't even say it, but I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Yeah, don't overcook it, that's all I'm saying.
'John's only got three cameras on the ground to cover this, 'so I've got to go up and down the road about 25 times 'to get the shots.
' So, guys, I've just been doing a few runs up and down these lovely, twisty roads in the Brecon Beacons.
Got the cameramen on different points of the road, trying to get nice, lovely shots of me coming around these sweeping corners.
Jim, is the road clear? - 'OK, John.
' - Great.
Here we go, turnover.
And action.
'We split the road into four sections so we've got our hairpins, 'fast bends, straights, and even some jumps.
' Pretty interesting titbit.
So there's various means of me communicating with the other members of the team.
There are antennas in the car that we rig up so I've got direct comms with the director that allow him to hear what I'm saying with my microphone.
So he can basically see what the camera sees and hear what I say, so he's got a live feed inside the star car.
What I've got to remember is not to do anything inappropriate, like pick my nose or scratch my sensitive areas.
I've got to be on my best behaviour at all times.
- I can't believe they kept that in.
- Those idiots.
I can't believe you kept that in.
Now, listen, we've got to agree.
We had a disagreement about whether it was the F12 or the Focus RS that was the best, but one thing you can't deny is that hot hatches in general are amazing.
You must have had a few in your time.
You never grow out of them.
It's like a virus that stays in your body.
They're the best.
I currently have a Citroen AX GT.
722kg -- could have an accident standing still in that car.
Yeah, I had a Vauxhall Astra GTE 16 valve.
ABS didn't work at all, so I remember going straight on over a junction thinking, "This is it for me, I'm dead.
" But, you know They teach you how to drive.
Everyone should drive one.
They're the best thing.
Never grow out of them.
- Shall we do some news? - Yes, please.
There's been a lot of supercar talk this week, with the R8 and AMG that you just drove, but did you catch the new Nissan GT-R Nismo, by any chance? It's incredible, isn't it? They just improve it by degrees.
Every single month there seems to be another GT-R that goes another half a second quicker round the Nuerburgring.
It's got like a new face to it.
It looks a little more aggressive than the last one.
But if there's one thing that this didn't need, was more speed.
How much can you ring out of this system? More and more and more, it seems.
It's a subtle-looking number, isn't it, with the red decals? It's a remarkable piece of kit.
What it does is it takes a road and in just bullies performance from it.
It may weigh too much -- over 1,700 kilograms -- but it just drags performance out in the most brutal way.
- Yeah.
- And however cynical you are, the moment you drive one, you love it.
Now, China have proposed a new car-straddling bus as a way of solving their traffic crisis.
- I mean, can you imagine? - That's terrifying! Can you imagine that you've got Doris, 70 years old, bit nervous in her Corsa going through town, and suddenly she gets not overtaken but swallowed by a bus? I mean, what? What on earth are they thinking of? Not even Doris, I think anyone who is vaguely aware of their surroundings, seeing that coming up behind them, is just literally going to swerve, crash into the nearest person and that will be curtains.
There will be even worse traffic because of all the cars in flames everywhere.
One upside, though.
Going back to the Hoonicorn and Ken Block, that's the prop for his next thing, isn't it? For Gymkhana 9, or whatever it's going to be, drifting round that as it goes through town.
Our final story is this one.
They are going to be offering Premier League footballers driving lessons to make sure that when they take their high-performance sports cars out they don't crash it after five minutes.
Maybe it's a really, really good idea, or maybe they should just ban them from buying really nice cars, - I don't know.
- Well, you know, they kind of inspire the next generation of supercar owners.
They start out looking something like this, and then, usually That looks like a Lambo of some sort.
That was a Huracan, it understeered off because they all understeer.
That was the Ronaldo one, wasn't it? Yeah, Ferrari 599.
That was back in 2009.
They have to understand the difference being able to nutmeg a bloke with an inflated pig's bladder and actually driving a car.
It's quite different.
You can't carry one skill set into this, it doesn't work.
You need to learn how to do this as well.
They don't care, though.
They've got so much money they'll just crash it, buy a new one - and move on.
- Look at that.
It's wrapped black, as well.
So it's been wrapped, and wrapped into a tree.
That's Mario Balotelli's R8, there.
I'm all for it.
If you're going to buy a performance car, seek out some lessons, make sure that you don't wrap it round a tree and maybe, you know, one day you'll be almost as good as Chris Harris.
Oh, stop that.
It's like an episode of He-Man, with your moral message at the end.
I love it, Rory.
Thank you, Chris.
That was the news.
Now, let's get our guest out.
She's one of the few guests who actually has a car with the same name.
Shame it's a Renault.
It's Zoe Lyons and here she is in action.
When I sell the car that I own at the moment I can legitimately use the strapline one lady owner, and I'll tell you exactly what that means.
It means last month I drove it for half an hour with the handbrake on.
That's what that means.
Give it up for Zoe Lyons.
Zoe, thanks for joining us.
A Zoe Renault.
It's ridiculous, isn't it? It's such a cute-looking car, though.
- Look at it.
- It really isn't, though, Rory, is it? - I mean, look at that.
- It might even look like you, with the eyes.
No, look at that.
It needs a much bigger bonnet on the front if it's going to look like me, to match my hooter.
Chris, are you a fan of EVs? Erm, er You do this to me every single time.
- Cos I know you're going to say no.
- I don't mind them, I'm sure they're going to take over the world at some point, but not now.
What other great electric car names could you have had? You could have been called the Leaf.
Christened Leaf.
- I know.
- Model X.
I think they've called it the Zoe because Zoe in Greek actually means life.
But life's too short to drive one of those, surely, so What do you drive around in? At the moment, I've got a Volvo C30.
- That's - I love it.
- That's disappointing.
- Yeah, it's a - It's a very safe car, there it is.
- This is your car, isn't it? It's very safe, and it's a little bit tired, bless it.
Is that rust there on the wheel arch? No, that's birdie poop-poop because I live in Brighton, and it's frequently covered in a layer of bird waste.
So, yeah.
It's like a slightly glamorous Scandinavian Ford Focus, the way the glass just drops.
I'm with you, it's a pleasing thing to look at.
It's got quite a nice bum on it.
That's why I like it.
A Scandinavian backside.
That's what I'm looking for in a car.
If you were to change this, though, like, - what would you go for? - Audi TT TDI.
- That's what I'm looking - But a two litre, nothing crazy.
- The diesel, as well? - Diesel, so the engine will take the strain.
- I can't I can't - Come on, Chris.
You're supposed to be edgy and ambitious.
You're talking fuel economy.
Why don't you get a V8 Mustang and then just do some more gigs and pay for the fuel? Can you imagine? I couldn't afford to get to the end of the road.
You should aspire to buy the thing you can't afford and then find a way of affording it.
That's the way to do it.
Let's talk about your dream car, though.
- I've got a choice of three, if that's all right? - OK.
Jaguar F-Type because I think it looks like a beautiful modern classic, I love it.
I think it's a gorgeous shape.
Maserati GranTurismo.
Would have to be in white with red leather seats, - I'm a bit particular about that.
- Very specific.
But the ultimate would be the new Audi R8.
- OK.
- I think it looks fantastic.
Nice.
We saw it earlier and actually I've got a bit of unseen footage.
We know about Chris Evans throwing up in Laguna Seca because of Sabine Schmitz -- the Queen of the Vomit Comet.
We've got some footage of her lap, so let's take a look at it.
In three, two, one Go! Oh, I lost a second already.
Come on, Sabine.
You can do it! Whoa-ho-ho! Hairpin bend, corner number one.
Go on! - Go on, Sabine! - Whoo! - You've got to beat the machine.
You've got to beat the machine, come on now! Yes.
Corner number three.
- It's wet here.
Oh.
- Going well.
- It feels smoother.
- Yeah, good traction.
- Good traction.
- Oh Where is the flag? - Don't mind about my stomach, it doesn't matter.
- Whoa! You are faster! You're slightly faster at this point.
Oh That was smooth.
That was very smooth, and that's halfway, and we are one second quicker.
- You think so? - I know so.
I've got the watch.
"I know so, I've got the watch!" Up the hill, come on! Yes.
Oh, my God Oops! Oh, sorry.
That went wrong.
What are you doing? What are you doing?! Here is the corner, here we go, into the corkscrew! - We lost a bit of time, there - Hold on tight to your .
.
because Sabine lost concentration.
You're having too much fun, Sabine.
- No, this is great stuff.
Whoa.
- OK, to - Whoa, whoa, no! - Whoo! There was water running across the road.
Two more corners left.
- Yah! - Round the penultimate corner.
Argh, need to brake.
Very late braking into the last corner.
Come on, Sabine, you can do it! - Sideways into the home straight.
- Whoo! Go on, Sabine.
- Here is the finish line! - And over the finish line.
- Whoo! - Stop, stop! What's wrong? Stop, please stop.
Please.
Please stop.
Are you OK? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Go out, go out, go out! Poor Chris, he's never going to live that down.
What are you like as a passenger? Do you reckon you could handle that? I'm pretty good at holding my own, and anybody else's if they let me.
Chris, a lot of these people might not have been in a car that's going at a high speed, especially round a bend.
Are the G forces that you generate really, really enough to kind of stir up the pit of your stomach? It's all about not having something to hold on to.
When you're driving you've got the wheel, which keeps your centre of balance.
When you've not, you just feel nauseous and you slop around in the seat, you find things to hold on to, then you think you feel sick.
Once you think you feel sick, game over.
- Game over.
- Yeah.
- What's the fastest you've ever gone in a car? I'm about 110, but legally.
Legally.
It was a I did the Formula First experience at Silverstone, where you You get to go in the little open cockpit cars.
- Is that you? - That's me.
That's me.
My visor steamed up quite dramatically because I was breathing so heavily because I couldn't quite believe they'd let me loose in this car.
It was so much fun.
I love how the picture is even slanted to make you look like - Ayrton Senna.
- It does look quite cool.
- Proper action shot.
- There was quite a lot of middle-aged men who just wanted to prove to their wives that they could have been a Formula One driver had they not had kids.
This guy overtook me and I knew he wasn't going to make the next corner in time and it was just marvellous to watch him slide into the sand, as I sort of royal waved past him.
You've got a bit of an evil streak, haven't you? - I really do, don't I? - Chris, have you ever driven a Formula One car? Yeah, it's on the internet for all to see.
I spun it.
Why did you spin? I've never seen you spin.
Because it was zero I've got all the excuses -- it was zero degrees, wrong tyres, no traction control.
But it was a good spin, and Martin Brundle watched me do it as well.
- Go watch it online.
- Not good enough, mate.
You've I've lost it with you now.
He's human! When you take off out of the pit stop in one of those the guy went, "You're going to have to drive it "like you're going up a hill, from a hill start in fifth gear.
"That's the amount of sort of pressure you've got to give it.
" So I just sort of skidded out like this.
I stalled it about ten times before I got going.
Do you know what? I probably did the whole lap in second gear.
- That's actually all you need.
- Yeah.
- They are set up like that.
Screaming it, was.
Didn't you love the immediacy of it and how sharp it was and how direct it felt? Oh, it's so much fun.
It's so much fun.
Brilliant.
All right, Zoe Lyons, thank you so much for coming in.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up.
Zoe Lyons, everyone.
That's it from us.
Big thank you to Zoe Lyons.
Next week, comedians Ellis James and John Robins will be with us, and Chris and I will be bringing more brand-new exclusives.
Thank you and goodnight.