True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e03 Episode Script

"True Jackson VP" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
- This thing is stuck.
- Just give it a big pull.
No.
I think I figured out something no one here knows.
What? - I don't have any idea how to do this job.
Sure you do.
You pick out fabric, cut cut, snip snip Bam! We have a awesome dress.
I'm serious Lulu.
I can't do this.
I'm about to freak out.
I know exactly what you need.
Dance party.
Ryan, what's wrong? It was horrible, a tragedy of epic proportions.
I am never ever going back to that house of terrors.
- Where? - Happyberry yum yum.
The yogurt shop downstairs? There's a new girl who works there and as soon as I saw her, I couldn't speak.
That doesn't sound like you.
- I was a complete idiot.
- That sounds like you.
You know, I never thought I'd say this.
But I think I'm in love.
And the pain I feel right here, right here will never go away.
- I know something that'll help.
- What? Dance party.
Sorry to interrupt, true, but you're needed in the conference room a-sap.
- A-sap? What is it? - Oh, it means as soon as possible.
It's a pretty common acronym.
I'm surprised you've never heard it before.
I have a feeling the meeting is gonna be very interesting.
What's it about? I'm not at liberty to say.
But it might just be about the double-secret arrival.
Of a certain supermodel who's going to be the face of our new line.
What's the big deal? Supermodels come around here all the time.
- It's Dakota North.
- Dakota North.
- She likes Dakota North.
- I gathered that.
By the way, I made fresh lemon squares.
- Lemon squares.
- Lemon squares.
Dance party.
thank you all for coming on such short notice.
Before we start, does anyone have any questions, anyone at all? Stop wasting my time, Kopelman, out.
Moving on.
People, I have exciting news.
We've signed someone pretty special to be the face of the new fall line, and you'll never believe who it is.
If I were to give you a thousand guesses - Dakota North.
- Yes.
- Okay, who told you? - I'd rather not say.
It was Oscar, wasn't it? I knew I shouldn't have told him.
Did anyone else here know my big secret? Out.
Well, I for one commendou on the cou of landing Dakota North.
She will be a valuable asset to mad style.
I know.
That's why I wanted to make the big announcement.
- Max, you're pouting.
- I am not.
We'll be having a press conference here today at 2:00.
It is imperative that Ms.
North be here for it, happy and looking fabulous.
So I was thinking we should probably assign someone to keep her company.
Amanda, why don't you take this one? - I'd be honored.
- Great.
Moving on.
- Although - Yes? It appears to me that perhaps Dakota.
Might be more comfortable with someone.
Closer to her own age like, I don't know, true.
For real? It is a great sacrifice for me, but I suppose it's for the best.
Max? Fine with me.
True, are you ready to be Dakota North's BFF? Yes.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Not a fan of physical contact.
But remember, true, if for any reason Dakota is not at the big event at 2:00, I would have no choice but to fire you.
Right.
Hey, Lulu.
Do you believe in stuff you read in magazines? For the most part, yeah, but not comic books.
Those are definitely made up.
Well, this article says the best way to attract your crush.
Is to let them think you're taken.
Well, it's gotta be true.
It says it on the cover in big pink letters.
I bet if the yogurt girl thought I had a girlfriend, she'd totally want me.
Then, it's hello free yogurt.
If only I could find someone young and attractive who could pretend to be my girlfriend.
- Fine, I'll do it.
- Really? You'll find me somebody young and attractive? No.
I'll pretend to be your girlfriend.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
You know I love acting, ever since the school production of "pippin.
" "Look out, pippin, he's got a gun.
" Yeah, I don't remember that part.
Please? Okay.
You'll never believe what just happened.
An elephant broke into the grocery store and stole all the peanuts? No.
They want someone to personalty hang out with Dakota North all day, and that person is me.
- Oh.
- Don't sound so excited.
Isn't she supposed to be kind of mean? - Mean? I don't think so.
- She's banned from Canada.
No, no, no, no.
She slapped a moose.
Yeah.
And don't her grandparents have a restraining order against her? That's just gossip.
You don't believe everything you read in magazines, do you? Yes, except comic books.
Look, Dakota is just a teen like us.
Like us? She has a chihuahua that flies first class.
In his own plane.
To a castle.
Made out of bacon.
Okay.
Maybe she's not exactly like us, but she can't be that bad.
If I can handle the pinks at school, I can handle Dakota.
Just be careful, true.
This task sounds like something Amanda would invent just to see you fail.
Oh, come on.
No one would do that.
It's perfect.
I've invented this task just to see her fail.
Security called.
Dakota will be up in a minute.
There's still some people in the lobby she hasn't been rude to yet.
Come on, aren't you excited? I've never met a celebrity before.
Well, except that pig from that car commercial.
You know when he goes, " honk, honk, I'm late for work.
" Oh my God, I met him at the fair.
I can't believe I missed that.
You'll call me next time, yes? Oh, this might be her.
Hi, Dakota.
I'm true.
True Jackson.
I'm a huge fan.
I'm here for a press thingy.
Right.
It's in the conference room.
They decorated it really nice.
- It took all morning.
- Like this story? Yeah, have fun with your new best friend.
I'll stop by in a bit to see how it's going.
So, what kind of music do you like? It's all so boring.
All music? I'm thirsty.
Somebody get me a sparkling water in a blue cup.
With a bendy straw, thank you.
I don't have it yet.
Why don't we head over to the conference room? - Great.
Is there a limo? - A limo? No, it's right down the hall.
Fine.
But make sure no one looks at me.
Dakota North.
Oh, my little yogurt goddess.
- Hi.
Can I help you? - Help me? Yes.
What to have, what to have.
- There you are, boyfriend.
- Oh, look who it is.
It's my girlfriend.
Hey, how about some sweet yogurt for my sweet girlfriend.
Oh, you.
You're just as generous as you are super-ripped under that ugly shirt.
Huh? Ugly? But my nana got it for me on her Alaska cruise.
Well, it's ugly.
I'll have a raspberry yum yum with happy bears, and my better half here will have a napkin and a glass of water.
I don't think so.
I'll have a large banana hello with gum gum cherry berries.
- That will be $8.
50.
- Great.
Got any money? I'm kind of tapped.
Guys, huh? If he wasn't so funny and strong and a great dancer.
With an awesome sneaker collection, he'd be outta here.
- You were great.
- You were great.
- We're kind of a good couple.
- I know, right.
Hey, wait.
She's looking at us.
Quick, feed me some yogurt real romantic-like.
Why isn't this working? This one's blue.
I've been a fan of yours for, like, ever.
When Mr.
Madigan told us you were coming, I was all - Why is a child talking to me? - Aren't we like the same age? Thirsty again.
- All good? - Well, not really.
- Oh.
- She's being sort of difficult.
- Did you try giving it food? - It? I mean her.
- What kind of food? - Maybe a donut.
She's probably having a low blood sugar thing.
Good idea.
Hey, Dakota, would you like a donut? There's custard in the middle.
Are you insane? I'm a supermodel.
I don't eat donuts.
How could you let her bring me a donut? Are you paying any attention at all? I don't even know why you're my assistant.
You're an idiot.
That's enough! - What did you say? - I said that's enough.
We get it.
You're cranky.
Everyone, out.
Out.
Well, you seem to have everything under control.
What's your problem, Dakota? You have everything you could possibly want.
You fly around the world, eat in the best restaurants, wear the best clothes.
Why are you so angry? You have no idea what it's like to be me.
No.
I think I do Being the only kid in a grownup world, trying to please everyone, and feeling a little alone.
That's exactly how I feel.
I just don't know why you have to be so mean to people.
I mean, that pig couldn't have been nicer.
Look, if you don't wanna do this, don't.
No one's making you.
Do you know how many people I'm responsible for? Managers, agents, dog groomers, eyebrow pluckers.
Girl, what you need is a time-out.
Do something fun for yourself.
You know, hang out with your girls or buy a Ferris wheel.
You're probably right.
You know, my best friend's having a pool party.
And I wasn't even gonna go.
You should totally go.
There's no reason you can't be a supermodel and a regular teenager.
Can I have that donut now? Actually, I think I have something better.
Have you ever had a homemade lemon square? I don't even know what that is.
Oscar makes them fresh.
Let me see if he has any left.
- True.
- Yeah? Thank you.
Hey, Oscar, do you have any more of your delicious lemon squares? Take them all.
I'm sure you're working up quite an appetite.
Dealing with America's next top sociopath.
- Actually, she's really sweet.
- Sweet? She said she was going to dance on my grave, and then she did a creepy little dance and started laughing.
Well, people can change.
Thanks.
Dakota? Dakota? Uh-oh.
Dakota? Dakota? "Press play"? True, thank you so much for the advice.
By the time you see this, I'll be on my way to a pool party.
She did what now? - True, what's going on? - What's going on is I lost Dakota.
- You don't have any idea where she went? - She went to a pool party.
- Well, who told her she could do that? - I don't see how that matters.
- You told her? - Yes.
But I didn't know it was now.
If she's not at that press conference, I'm in big trouble.
- Do you have her number? - Yeah, it's over here.
Okay.
What do you want? Leave a message.
Hi, Dakota.
It's me, true.
I'm really happy you decided to go to your party, but I sort of need you back right away so I don't get fired.
Okay? I got your lemon squares.
It's gonna be really embarrassing getting fired.
Well, let me go get my fake boyfriend.
He'll figure it out.
No running in the halls.
I think people take mango for granted.
There, I said it.
Mango rocks.
- Ryan.
- Give me a second, baby.
I'm just making a point here.
- I need you right now.
- Well, take a number.
She's useless without me.
- What was that? - Nothing, dear.
The old ball and chain.
- Fine, forget you.
- Don't expect me to be here when you get back.
I'm not coming back, 'cause I never wanna see you again.
It's over.
Oh, it's been over for a long time.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, totally.
She wasn't, you know, really no.
No, I'm not.
It hurts so bad.
I'll never find love again.
- Sure you will.
- You think so? Yes.
But what am I gonna do with these Metro station tickets for tonight.
I hate to see them go to waste.
- I love Metro station.
- You do? - Do you have plans tonight? - No.
That's great.
My boyfriend is gonna go crazy when I tell him.
I did not see that coming.
Oh! Didn't see that coming either.
Look at me, I'm lady Hattington.
I hail from Hatmandu.
Would you please focus? The press conference is in five minutes.
What am I gonna do? I know how to juggle.
Want me to go stall them? No.
I might as well just face it.
I'm not gonna be working here too much longer.
Well, I like the sound of that.
- Amanda.
- Where's Dakota? Who? Oh, I don't see her anywhere.
- If you've messed this up, moppet - I haven't.
She's right behind this changing thing.
Oh, what's that, Dakota? Okay, I will.
- I didn't hear her say anything.
- Really? Because she clearly said it.
Oh, what's that? Mmm.
Okay, I'll tell her.
She said she wants the area cleared, and if it isn't, she's gonna claw the nearest executive.
Oh, I can't get clawed.
I have dinner reservations.
It's showtime.
- When did Dakota get back? - She's not back.
Then who was talking to you? - I've got a plan.
- Is it a good one? Nope.
Ladies and gentlemen, mad style is proud to introduce the new face of our fall collection, supermodel Dakota North.
She looks fabulous.
What are you talking about? You can't see her face.
Thank you.
I'm Dakota North.
I'm a supermodel.
More like a super-duper model.
Somebody trademark that, please.
Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello, everyone.
I'm the real Dakota North.
You're hilarious.
- It's Madigan.
- It's Cantwell.
- M-a-d-I-g-a-n.
- C-a-n-t-w-e-l-l.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking.
True, you're fired.
What? No.
You're not fired.
But, Max, that was a nightmare.
If that was a nightmare, I'm eating more cheese before bed.
See you tomorrow.
And the next day and the day after that.
- Hey.
- Dakota, thank you so much for coming back.
You really came through for me.
It's an odd feeling, doing something nice.
I'm gonna try it again sometime.
It's a good way to live.
Well, it's been fun.
But I'm off to Helsinki for a swimwear shoot.
Do you really have to go so soon? Why? - Lulu? - Dance party.
- Well, hello.
- Hello.
You're looking well.
I see you have someone new in your life.
No.
That's just a guy waiting for the elevator.
I guess in a lot of ways we're all just waiting for an elevator.
That's deep.
I've missed you.
Listen, what happened between us It was so long ago, I don't even remember what it was about.
- Buy you a yogurt? - I'd like that.
Got any money? - Well, and what a surprise - What is that? It appears to be a dance party.
Ridiculous.