Twenty Twelve (2011) s01e03 Episode Script

This programme contains some strong language.
I'm sure it would mean a lot to him, but, you know, get a therapist, go to bed earlier.
We've already been talking to Channel Four about Olympic Come Dine With Me, which is so exciting.
Yeah, they're saying Virginia Wade, Geoffrey Boycott, Ellen MacArthur and Colin Jackson and I'm, like, it's such a terrific idea guys, but I don't know who any of those people are.
I'm sorry, but Gary Linekar does not embody the Olympic spirit, I don't care who you are.
Well, stay off the crisps for a kick off.
Yeah, but I don't know who they are, that's what I'm saying.
Yes, Danny Boyle will direct the Opening Ceremony.
No, there won't be any dancing heroin addicts.
Yeah, but I don't know who they are.
No, there won't be any zombies, unless you count the Mayor! No, don't quote me on that, that's off the record.
There may be trouble ahead But while there's moonlight and music and love and romance Let's face the music and dance Let's face the music and dance.
Right.
Yeah, the roof was lifted and lowered into place over the weekend It's Monday morning at the offices of the London Twenty Twelve Olympic Deliverance Commission in London.
Hi, how you doing? Morning.
Hi.
For Head of Deliverance, Ian Fletcher, it's the start of another busy week.
This doesn't seem to be working.
Could you just let me in? You have your PIN number? What PIN number? I don't have a PIN number.
You just swipe it, but it's not working.
Who are you seeing? I'm not seeing anyone.
I'm me.
Let me see, please.
Ian Fletcher.
No, there's no point in phoning me, I'm not there.
I'm here.
I can't get in.
Hello.
This is reception.
I have Ian Fletcher here with me.
Sally, it's me.
Can you just get him to let me in? OK, OK, OK.
Thank you.
She is coming.
If you'd like to take a seat? It's not the best start to the morning.
Hang on, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Either it's three athletes to a toilet or three toilets to an athlete.
Someone's got to know that.
But Personal Assistant Sally Owen has come out to assist Ian personally.
Thanks, Sally.
You're a star.
Not a problem.
Shall I carry your bike? Thanks.
So, is there a default PIN, do you know? Yes.
It's 2112.
Twenty One Twelve? Is that a joke? It's the IT department's idea of a joke.
Right.
It's when they think we'll be ready for the Games.
Right.
Funny, funny, funny.
Oh, and Boris Johnson left a message.
Oh, yes? What about? I'm not really sure, really.
Did it sound like I need to call him back? Well, it was quite a lot of "Gosh" and "Piffle" and I think the end might have been Latin.
Right.
I think I'll leave that.
Hopefully, he'll have blown himself out.
OK.
And your wife phoned.
She said could you Yes, right.
.
.
Phone her? OK, thanks, yes.
I think one worry was if we had separate bins for extruded plastics as well we'd be up to eight different types of recycling bin.
I mean if he wants be a Twenty Twelve Brand Ambassador his route is Strictly Come Dancing.
There is no short cut here.
The other thing is there are only seven colours.
OK, so here's the thing.
I don't care what he thinks he's worth.
If he won't do it, Kriss Akabusi will, and that applies to anything.
I think there are actually only seven colours, basically.
Right.
OK.
If we can make a start.
For this Monday morning steering meeting, Ian is joined by Head of Infrastructure, Graham Hitchins, Head of Sustainability, Kay Hope, and Head of Contracts, Nick Jowett, as well by Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe from PR company Perfect Curve.
Right, before we start, was I the only person who couldn't get in this morning? No, you were not.
I couldn't get in either.
It's all very well, "Take a seat.
" I said to him, "I've already got a seat, in my office.
" I'm supposed to have yet another PIN number in my life.
- Well, I've I already reset mine.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, security.
I can't see how it makes anything any more secure.
Right, basically, right, what it is, it's just ramping up security levels, yeah? Fortunately for the meeting, Graham Hitchins is happy to explain that the new access protocols are part of a series of triggered security system upgrades between now and 2012 - in this case from code brown to code blue.
OK, so that's all good.
Now, first up this morning, as I am sure we're all aware, work on the foundations of the Aquatics Centre was finally begun over the weekend.
Yay! So that's a great bit of news to start the new week with.
So, that's another milestone for us.
So let's get that message out there as much as we can this week.
Totally.
We go out to press on Wednesday.
The Steering Meeting is also an opportunity for everyone to share each other's agendas.
Any other things this week? Yes, me.
I've got some rather good news.
Great, OK.
I can now confirm, and I only found this out officially late on Friday, OK, that we will definitely be operating a closed-loop waste management system across the entire Olympic site.
Excellent.
Well, that's Yay.
That's fantastic news, Kay.
It is, isn't it? Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
Kay, are we still good for Thursday? Yes, sure.
Thursday? You've got to do your Vlog for the website some time.
Oh, yes, of course.
Right.
Don't go shy on me here.
That's fine.
Everybody else has done theirs.
No.
Yes.
Thursday's perfect.
And this will be on camera, will it? Sure.
Absolutely.
You're good with that? Yes, absolutely.
No, great.
This is where Kay Hope goes global.
Yes, good.
Cool.
Wow, Sally.
I think that must be the biggest ever.
I just thought it might be nice, after the meeting I could live for a week on that.
But with the meeting barely over, the first of the week's challenges arrives suddenly out of nowhere.
So, Martin Soper called, from site.
Right.
What did he want? He wants you to call him back.
Right.
It can't be the Japanese knotweed still, surely.
Also, there was a phone call for you from your wife.
Yes, I know.
Tell her I'm doing it.
Right.
Right.
Martin, hi.
How are you? Right.
Right.
You're joking! Senior Construction Engineer Martin Soper has phoned with some unexpected news from the Olympic Park site.
And he's not joking.
Apparently, they've found some sort of bones on the site of the Aquatics Centre and some guy from the British Archaeological Society has got very excited, apparently.
Which, frankly, sounds like the last thing we need.
Shall I have that? Thanks.
You haven't been drinking that, have you? No, I haven't, no.
Right.
Well, let's hope this guy's wrong.
Let's hope it's just a murder or something.
I'm just so totally excited about this because I know how busy you are.
Meanwhile, back across town at Perfect Curve, Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe has called in composer Ben Hooper for a meeting.
OK.
So we have got about three seconds to produce an association in the brain that's going to be strong, unique and permanent, yeah? Duh duh duh duh.
Yeah, well, obviously that's the Intel jingle, so we can't use those four notes in that sequence.
OK, sure.
OK, here's the thing.
OK, what we can do is we choose four different notes.
She's keen that London Twenty Twelve should have its own 'sonic branding' or 'audio logo'.
Like, da dah dah.
Yeah.
Shall I just take you through what I was thinking? Yeah.
OK.
OK, cool.
All right, so musically it's already a pretty crowded market place out there.
It's like, OK, we've got audio logos now, Intel, Direct Line.
Like I've said to Siobhan, you can have your sonic branding, that's great, as long as the money comes out of your budget, fine.
Head of Contracts Nick Jowett isn't quite so enthusiastic about the idea.
When I was a kid we had no sonic branding.
If you asked for sonic branding you got a clip round the ear and I don't care who you are.
This, right, is the Olympic Games, it's not a face cream.
Na-ah.
So, how to take the medium and do something with it that's never been heard before.
OK.
So, what we do Right.
Shall I just Yeah, OK.
MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS Don't say anything.
I will play it again.
MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS AGAIN So, it's like One note.
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
You see, what we're listening to here is rhythm.
It's energy.
It's pace.
It's the pulse of the world's greatest city.
It's London Two Thousand and Twelve.
Holy shit.
Oh, my God, I love it.
Can I hear it again? Yes.
MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS AGAIN Can I hear it again? MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS AGAIN Can I hear it again? MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS AGAIN I love it.
Can I just hear it one more time? MONOTONE JINGLE PLAYS AGAIN If I tell you that just whilst we've been waiting for you here I've found a bone mirror handle and what looks like part of a cheese press.
Really? And that's just me with my own foot.
Right.
On the site of the Aquatics Centre at the Olympic Park, Ian is with archaeologist Richard Watson and Senior Construction Engineer Martin Soper.
He's the man who knows where the bodies are buried.
In this case, literally.
This is unlikely to be an ordinary find.
Right, is it? Yeah, because where you've got cheese you've nearly always got a very early settlement.
Right.
Martin? This is very exciting.
For all we know we could be standing on a third Colchester here.
Right.
Right, I have to ask, where's the second Colchester? St Albans.
Right.
Martin, where we're standing now OK, well, if you can imagine the main competition pool over there.
Right, yeah.
Well, where we're standing now is more or less dead centre of the competition diving pool.
Right.
When are we going in here? We should have been in here weeks ago, obviously.
I mean we could be looking at the end of the week.
OK.
Well, the good news is it looks like you've got a couple of days to do your worst.
So, that's all good.
I'm sorry.
I don't think that's very funny.
You do realise we're standing on protected ground here.
Right.
For Ian, the Aquatics Centre has suddenly gone from being the week's good news story to being a mass grave, which isn't what he wanted.
No, I mean, it's all good.
Of course, it would have to be the Aquatics Centre.
First thing is we'll have to delay all the press stuff now.
Presumably, is that where Siobhan Sharpe comes in as Head of Brand? Yes, I think that's almost inevitable.
Right.
Yes.
Yeah, basically, you've got a million extra people flying in to London over a two week period, yeah? You've got a finite amount of sky.
After fighting his way back to the office through London traffic, it's time for Ian to meet Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchins to talk about traffic of a different kind, this time of the airborne variety.
Right, one idea is you bring them in over places like Dungeness or even Sizewell, further round here.
Well, here.
Right.
OK? Anywhere that they've already got nuclear power stations, so you know there's not going be anyone for miles around.
Want one? No, thanks.
It's his job to come up with a recommendation on the sensitive issue of civil aviation flight paths during the period of the Games.
I think if you want to make the security services really jumpy these days, surely the best way of doing it is to fly a succession of passenger aircraft from all over the world one after the other over the top of nuclear power stations.
Right.
Yeah.
So, what are the other ideas? Yeah.
The what? You said one idea was to do that.
Yeah.
Exactly, yeah.
Right.
OK.
Well, as I said, I'm seeing TFL and BAA on Friday, so Yeah that's no worries.
That's no problem, fine.
This Friday? Yes.
Sorted.
Sorry, could you let me in, please? You must have the PIN number.
Yes, I know, but I've forgotten it.
It's Tuesday morning.
Can't you just let me in? If you'd like to take a seat? Are you sure you want to re enter your PIN number? Yes, I bloody am.
Having finally got in, Kay has decided to change her security PIN number to one she can remember.
I should never have chosen that date in the first place.
It was a bad omen.
So what God, coffee's great, isn't it? Yes.
So what.
.
? I know it's bad for you, but sod it.
Yeah.
What actually was the date? What was it? If you don't mind me asking.
Well, apparently it was Friday, 31st April.
Ummm I mean I still think it was March, but apparently I'm wrong.
Anyway, it wouldn't let me in anyway.
So, what happened on that date? I don't really want to talk about that.
OK.
I'm not giving him that power over me.
I'm sorry.
Right.
OK, good, so I actually feel sorry for him.
Right.
And her.
Wait till she has to stay up half the night playing Mortal Kombat Armageddon.
Right.
That'll sort her out.
And to make matters worse I had a phone call from Dick Whittington's office this morning.
Oh, right.
What did he want? Ian has got a meeting with Chief Construction Engineer Martin Soper.
It's been confirmed that the fragments found on the foundations of the Aquatics Centre are part of a Roman burial mound and Ian has asked Martin to take him through some of the available options.
Another option would be to look at ways of incorporating the burial site architecturally into the design of the diving pool itself.
Right.
Obviously, this would have major cost implications.
Yeah.
And we'd need to get the architect on side.
You know, she'd go off like a bloody rocket.
It would be very tricky.
Plus, I think we've gone past the point where it's achievable anyway in the time frame we're looking at.
Right.
Is the common thread linking all these options that they're not really options at all? In engineering terms, there are always options.
In the end what it often actually boils down to is finding the one that works.
OK, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that because it's meaningless.
OK.
Hello, I'm Kay Hope and I'm Head of Sustainability.
OK, wait.
I think it's gone to sleep.
I can't be that boring, surely.
I've hardly started.
OK, thank you.
Shall I? Go, go.
Hello, I'm Kay Hope, and I'm Head of Sustainability for London Twenty Twelve.
Hello.
Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe has arrived to help Kay prepare for her videoblog, or Vlog.
She's due to record it for real at the Olympic site on Thursday.
a catalyst for the development of waste processing facilities across East London, and beyond that setting new benchmarks OK, wait.
Stop.
What? Er these are the Olympics, OK? They're games, right? So I think we can have a little bit of fun here, you know? Yes.
Actually sustainability is not really about fun.
It's actually pretty serious.
Yeah, but you're quite excited, right? Am I? Well, you've got the best job in the world, and you can't wait to tell us about it.
Right, OK.
Yes.
OK.
OK? Hello Kay, wait, wait.
Back up.
Back up.
OK, sorry.
OK, and go Kay.
OK.
Hello.
I'm Kay Hope, and I'm head of sustainability for London 2012.
Erm No, keep going, keep going.
OK.
Yes.
The Olympic Park will be the most The greenest new large urban No, the largest new green The Olympic Park will be the newest large green urban space in urban I'm going to start again.
OK, that's cool.
You go, girl.
Hello.
I No, sorry Hello, I'm Kay Hope, and I'm head of sustainability for London 2012.
You so are.
The 2012 Games will transform 'At school I was Head Girl.
'I hated it.
I hated speaking in public.
'I could feel myself going red.
'I never wanted to be Miss Goody Goody.
'I wanted to be Lucy Parker.
' And who was Lucy Parker? Who was Lucy Parker? Well, OK, if you can imagine a cross between Kristin Scott-Thomas and Emmanuelle Beart Right.
If you can imagine that.
Yes, I can.
Well, basically that was Lucy Parker.
Right.
She had an affair with Mr Williams.
Everybody knew.
She wasn't that clever, never did any work, but always somehow managed to Yeah, yeah.
But as well as that, the physical legacy that the Er Can we stop this now, please.
OK.
Thank you.
I hoped to have learnt it by now.
Obviously by Thursday I'll be much more OK, Kay.
What? Kay, you're a terrific person, OK, you're out there.
You're, you know, recycling, you're saving the planet, you know, it's major stuff.
Well But we've got a great show here and we've got to sell it.
You make a vlog, you put it out there, you want people to be thinking "Hey, she's cool.
"I want to be like her.
"I want a piece of what she's got.
" Right.
You know, so you've got to be thinking "Hey, I'm cool.
"I want to be like me.
I want a piece of what I've got.
" Well, er And if your head's not telling you that, maybe you're in the wrong head.
OK? Yes.
Yeah? So the Roman burial pit is here, right under what's currently the competition diving pool, which is 6.
5 metres deep.
And there's our problem.
Right.
It's Wednesday, and senior construction engineer, Martin Soper, is back.
Would it help if we made the diving pool shallower? Can we do that? That could have some knock-on effects for the divers.
OK, so then we've got the 50 metre competition pool here.
This time he's come armed with a deliberately scaled down model of the Aquatic Centre itself.
and the Urban Water Hole at the centre of it all.
The Urban Water Hole? Yes.
That's at the centre of the whole design concept.
We can get rid of that for a kick off.
No, no.
Sorry, that's the architect's vision.
Architects' vision? Well, it's the first thing she saw when she thought about the building.
I think the first thing I'd have seen is a swimming pool.
Let's not go there.
OK, so we could just swap the diving pool directly with the back of house facilities.
'No, it's all good, I'm not worried.
It's easy to feel daunted 'by the sheer scale of what we're involved in here, but day to day, 'all you can do in life is focus on what's in front of you that day, 'and either deal with it, or find some other way of dealing with it.
' Take the diving pool and put it where the back of house facilities were.
OK.
Actually, where were the back of house facilities? Er I don't know, it's all gone a bit Well, let's say they were here.
OK, so then you put the warm up pool .
.
here.
I mean, that basically works, doesn't it? I think it might do.
So what have I got here then? I know what that is.
That's the urban water hole.
Oh, right.
Oh, fuck.
I mean, I'd call her myself, obviously, but it's probably better coming from you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Thursday morning and Kay Hope is on her way out to the Olympic Park to record her video diary or video blog or vlog for the website.
I got Kieran to test me on my lines last night.
It's gonna be great.
We are looking at a surgical strike here.
We go in, one take, and then we're outta there.
But then he had this brilliant idea - I record it all onto his MP3 player, have the ear things in my ear when I'm actually doing the piece, then all I have to is follow my own words and say what I hear in my ear.
Right.
I don't have to remember it.
That's all right, isn't it? Sure.
If you're happier.
He taught me how to use it.
Sure.
That's totally cool.
He's such a great kid.
Sure.
Totally.
What it is, yeah, I've looked at all the flight data.
I've looked at all the modelling, and it looks like in the end it comes down to either Bournemouth, or Portsmouth.
Meanwhile Graham Hitchins is making progress with his own issues.
It's not easy.
I mean, with Portsmouth there is an argument for routing extra flights in over ugly places, because we know fewer people are likely to complain.
Right.
Yes.
OK? And then Bournemouth This is interesting.
I was there a few weekends ago, actual fact, and I was surprised.
I took the Do you want one? Erm, I'm not really I mean, just pretend, carry on as if Oh, OK, whatever.
Yeah, I took the Alfa Actually, what flavour? Red onion chutney.
Oh, no, thanks.
Right.
I took the Alfa down there for a run.
Not a bad lunch.
I quite liked it.
You took the what down there? The Alfa.
I've got an Alfa Romeo Alfetta.
1981 GTV.
Right.
I know, it's mad.
It's totally mad.
Yeah.
So what was it that surprised you about Bournemouth? Well, the main thing was is that I didn't think I was going to go there.
I was supposed to be going to, like, the New Forest, but I had a bit of a brake fluid issue on the M27.
OK, we all set here? Sure.
Kay? Yes, I'm Just a minute.
Hang on.
Yes, right.
Out at the Olympic site, Kay is under starter's orders.
Andaction.
Hello, I'm Kay Hope and I'm head of sustainability.
Woah! Cut.
What, sorry? You're too loud.
You're way too loud.
Is it too loud? You've got a microphone.
Hang on, sorry.
Hang on a minute.
That's better.
I couldn't really hear.
I'm just saying relax.
Take your time.
Oh, yes, sure.
Yes, OK.
Good.
OK, this is your moment.
Yes.
You call it when you feel good.
I think that's it now.
Sorry about that.
OK, are we good? OK, hang on a minute.
OK.
Right.
Good.
OK.
And action.
There's nothing at all there now.
Right.
OK.
Sorry about this, it's a bit No, just whenever you're good.
Hang on.
I think that's No.
Still nothing.
Right.
Keiren said something last night about shuffling but I wasn't really Just give us a sign when you're good to go.
They're all so good with digital stuff, but Have you got your earpiece in? What? Your earpiece? Ah, no! Of course.
Thank you.
Stupid.
Sorry about that.
Sorry, everybody.
OK.
Honestly.
Right.
OK Hang on, just a minute, just a minute.
Right.
OK.
Good.
Yep.
Andaction.
Right.
OK, we're rolling here.
So any time you want to join in.
I think I might have actually now got Snoop Doggy Dog Jesus! Hang on.
Ah, right.
I think that's better.
OK, are we back on here? I think this is DJ Fresh, but I think I'm going in the right direction.
It's funny how things happen, innit.
I was in this noodle place.
It's just a Thai place just round the corner.
I go there when I can't be bothered Yeah.
And I wasn't thinking of anything.
I wasn't even that hungry.
Suddenly that hit me.
Head of infrastructure, Graham Hitchins, has finally had a breakthrough moment with the flight paths.
First of all, forget this whole bloody Bournemouth-Portsmouth thing.
Bring 'em in over Southampton.
Oh, right.
Right.
Then what you do is, you take 'em up the M3, OK? Hang on.
Up the M3? Yeah, like in the war, right.
They follow the path of the M3.
I mean, it's a bloody great road.
It's already ruined the environment, so that's all right.
Have you eaten all of these? I'm not really Bloody hell.
Just pretend I'm not here.
So, you take 'em up the M3 to the M25.
If they're inbound to Gatwick, you turn right on the M25 anti-clockwise, then follow the M23 South.
If they're inbound to Heathrow, turn left, take the M25 North, then back up the M4 to Heathrow, yeah? Right.
What do you think? Er, well Or I was thinking you could turn them off earlier, up the A322 to the M4.
I mean, that's not a bad road.
Then you turn right.
Right.
Yeah.
I think that's probably better, isn't it.
Bloody good here when everyone else has buggered off.
It's not negative.
I'm saying we've actually added something to the whole design.
All changes are improvements, Ian.
I know.
So what we've added is the idea of not having an urban water hole.
Now you're talking.
It's Friday, and Siobhan Sharpe has come over to the Olympic Deliverance Commission to go through the delayed Aquatics Centre press release.
OK, because what's new, what we've got to sell is the Roman stuff.
OK.
OK.
So Roman stuff.
Roman stuff.
Right.
OK, wait, wait, wait.
It's the Romans that founded the Olympics, right? No, I think I'm right in saying that the Olympics is a Greek thing.
Really? I think so.
That's a shame, because that would've been a slam dunk.
Er, OK.
Ideas.
Ideas, thoughts OK.
I suppose we could say something like we've got a statement about modernity, but it's a statement founded on the past.
Holy shit.
We've left the past untouched, we've banked it for future generations.
OK, I love this.
So basically well done us.
So now you've moved everything around, the remains are going to end up? They'll be under the floor of the entrance lobby, here.
You mean the Legacy Zone.
The exactly, yes.
The Legacy Zone.
This is so fun.
It is, isn't it.
In buoyant mood, Siobhan is keen to take Ian through a modification to the 2012 home page.
Go on, click on it.
Just click on any link on the page.
Right.
Go on, do it.
Yes, all right.
Thank you.
Sure.
MUSIC PLAYS Oh, right.
How cool is that.
It's pretty cool.
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
Yes.
London 2012.
Yes.
MUSIC PLAYS Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
Yes.
No, it's good, Siobhan.
I love this job.
I so love it.
'Hello, I'm Kay Hope, and I'm head of sustainability for London 2012.
' Why is she shouting? 'The Olympic Park' Kay's got a big message.
Big message, big voice.
'Our journey towards a two Planet 1012 and Twelve starts' For Ian Fletcher, it's been another pretty good week.
It's been pretty good week I think.
You could say we've taken two steps forwards, one step backwards.
So you've taken one step forwards.
What? Yes, if you like.
And as I say maybe one step backwards.
Right.
So we're roughly where we were to start with, really.
So no, that's all good.
Oh.
They lock automatically at seven.
Right.
Well, where's the bloody keypad? Oh, this is Has it, er Right.
Hi, this is Ian Fletcher of ODC.
I can't seem to get out of the office, so could Fletcher.
Ian Fletcher.
Yeah, hi.
Look, the doors are locked but there doesn't seem to be a No, I'm not visiting anyone, I'm trying to get out.
Hello? PHONE RINGS No, there's no point in PHONE CONTINUES TO RING Hello? Hello, yes.
Now look, this is No, this is me, I can't get out.
Could you Hello? No, I don't want to sit down, I want to get out.
Hello? So what do we mean when we talk about raising the bar? OK, well, it's funny you should ask that.
Top Question.
Now we have all been Oh, OK.
That guy walks on to the stage with his laptop, we're dead history.
But what And the higher you jump, the higher you have to Unless you raise that bar, then you're never going to get over it.
I'm not going to just sack him.
He's a really whole hearted guy.
He tries hard.
Never gives up.
Naomi.
And where do you live, Naomi? I don't want to know that obviously