United States of Tara s01e03 Episode Script
Work
Sous-titres : browncoat, grischka, lafeelicita Sous-titres : pouhiou, salomon, valpi SeriesSub.
com Good morning, my prince.
What you're doin' Alice? I've been reading a tasteful guide to the french arts.
Chapter 5 says "Wake him with your mouth.
" The french arts? Tips and tricks for the marriage bed.
How kinky.
If there's one thing I've learned from you children over the years it's that whipped topping makes not so yummy things taste yummier.
Cut it out, Alice.
Not the sex, not even a beege.
Well, forgive me for being a powdy patty.
But I feel very unbecoming, right now.
Come on, Alice.
What the dickens? Why are we eating cereals on an Alice day? She was gonna make Mickey Mouse pancakes.
How come she's not down here infantilizing us just like the usual? Alice is not in a great mood, today.
I get it.
She had to strap-on one of those giant maxi pads she wears.
Alice thinks tampons are of the Devil.
She calls them "Sin Missils".
What are you guys doing today? I still work at Barnabeez.
Today, I get a shot as one of the regular bitches and if i do a good job, I get to go on the floor for real, next time.
I still don't understand how you got a job without doing an interview.
Why? Look at me.
Yeah, but you do realize you need to be nice to people to be a waitress? I just think you're jealous cause I'm gonna be rich, and you're still gonna be wearing clothes that make you smell like meemaw.
They're vintage.
Hey, Dad - I have an audition, today.
- Really? You mean you're going to try-outs.
It's not Hollywood, Marsh.
It's a highschool production of Grease.
- Who you're gonna be? A Pink Lady? - I'm going for Kenickie.
Good luck, son.
Why are we eating these ghetto tore-up Cheerios? And they come in a bag.
Cause the non-ghetto ones are $1,5 more and taste exactly the same.
Mum? Almost.
Thank Christ.
Amen to that.
Can I get you anything? A toast, or a waffle, a shot of Patrón? I'm good.
I just need some help, joining the dots.
I can't believe they're maning such a trite production.
When did you know Iza? Even something mainstream, like Miller, and God forbid Wilder, would be preferable to this.
A sex-crazed Bobby Soxers, it's not even good on an ironic level.
- So, who do you wanna be? - Sandy.
Jason Morrion's auditioning? No way, I think he's just on crew.
I always assumed he was dumb you know, based on the whole Santana fetish, but his take on russian money film class last week, was pretty good.
I bet.
It was all like "like backwards and shit".
I think he's nice.
Why is there lipstick on the dessert topping? - Katie was off it.
- It's not funny.
This is Alice's shade, Max, "Fire and Ice", I'd know it anywhere.
I'm the one who has to scrub her lips prints off the gin and the cooking cherry and everything else she pretends not to drink.
Alice tried to get in my pants this morning.
So she's using props, now? I didn't take the bait, I'll have you know.
I'm suprised.
Don't you have a kind of a "mommy boner" for Alice? Seriously, I don't find Alice attractive.
But she did look kinda hot in that one thing she wears.
That psycho pinafore thing that makes her look like, the robot girl from Small Wonders that you're into, now? Kinda cute in a retro way.
You wanna fuck Alice.
That's messed up.
Who would want to fuck Alice? You would hit that.
I would not hit that.
You, on the other hand Prove it.
Gladly.
What's wrong? Nothing.
I'm just, you know, out of my mind.
I'm tired.
- OK.
- No, wait It's OK, you have to go to work anyway.
I'm gonna get to therapy, and I've got that design consult with Charmaine's new boss.
Let's Can we try this later? How's the new regime going? Or lack of regime, I should say? It's fine.
No, it's chaos, but I still feel good about going off the meds.
You do? It seemed like there was no alternative, when I was on Thorazine, I couldn't eat I couldn't paint, I couldn't fuck.
And the kids, how are they doing? They're good, actually.
They're kind of relieved.
I'm kind of worried about Max, though.
The alters have been - coming on to him.
- Really? Alice wants me to get her pregnant and have a baby.
Alice is the one naturally old school? Yeah.
Have you ever wanted to fuck the dude? Buck? No Fuck you! Alright, well look, if Alice has a baby, that's a real baby, like you have to take care of it.
It's not something like imaginary baby that just comes and goes, right? It doesn't matter It's weird, I'm not doing it.
He made out with T.
, and then stopped himself, luckily.
And then Alice came at him with a can of whipped cream.
He says he respects our arrangment and doesn't sleep with them, but I don't know, I think he's tempted.
And yet this morning, when I initiated sex, he couldn't get hard, so Am I only hot when I'm a different person? I mean How insulting is that? Well People desire what they can't have.
He can have me.
He can't have all of you.
The alters? They're not me.
I envy your sex life, dude.
You know, it's like you go one of those three packs of cereals.
You got like a fruit loop, and a honey smack, you just dump the milk in the box, and then chuck the ones you don't like.
I ain't chucking anyone.
But I'm not eating out much cereal.
How is that even possible? Hey, Tiffany St John.
But you can call me Tiff.
Rupe, Clint get off her.
Off! Come here.
Sorry about that.
I'm Tara.
Nice to meet you.
These are the kids.
Come on in.
You're a bad boy.
- Great space.
- Oh, thanks.
Just got us a little something for us girls to nibble on.
So you work with my sister? Not so much work as a way of life.
I've been a part of the Vitaself team since I graduated, six years ago.
You believe it? Charmaine is enjoying it.
Yes, she is really growing as a representative.
Now, important things: what can I get you to drink? Cab-Sauv? White Zin? - It's never too early for me.
- No, just some water for me is fine.
OK.
I just got these new stemless goblets.
So modern, right? I just think the regular kind are so stuffy.
OK.
So, you know, I could start by showing you some of the murals I've done recently? I saw your website already.
I'm in love.
Let's just dive in and talk a concept.
How do you see me? I just I just met you, so Yeah, but you know like a pretty easy tell, right? Young, professional single gal.
Little bit crazy.
- Sorry.
- What? Nothing, nothing.
You know what I'm thinking is? Tell me if I'm wrong here.
Something exotic.
You know? I want something that says: "This is not a condo in Overland Park, Kansas".
"This is a condo in Guatemala.
" - I'm a freak, right? - No, I love the hacienda look, it's Yes, street scene, maybe throw in a couple of brown babies, now you're talking! Salud! Hi, I'm Kate.
I'm the new server.
I'm supposed to be training, today? OK, I'm Tonya.
Gene.
- Gene's gonna love you.
- Really? Good to see you again.
Gene Stuart, general manager.
We're glad to have you as a probationnary member of the Barnabeez family.
Hi.
Thanks for coming in on such short notice.
Are you kidding? I am totally psyched.
Go on, let's start a tour.
You're gonna have to get rid of this before i let you on the floor.
This is a family restaurant, not a rock record store.
Yeah, no problem.
How was your new job? Awesome.
Do you know when you order a salad at Barnabeez? It's actually not hard-boiled egg.
It's this tube of egg-couloured stuff called Eggular.
And they alos refill the condiments with jerrick(??) instead of Heinz.
And they reuse the bread sticks.
But it's cool.
D'you know on a Saturday, you can make 200 $.
What price is dignity? I don't know what you're talking about.
- Hey, honey.
- Hey.
- Is that the new thing? - Yeah.
The consult went great.
Charmaine actually did me a favor, for once.
It's a mural, too, not some boring bathroom job.
I see I've had this weird feeling, though, today, like maybe Charmaine told this Tiffany woman about me and my thing.
Charmy said she didn't, but I wouldn't worry about it.
I think we need new wine glasses.
What are you doing? Tryin' to get laid.
I'm sorry.
I have to get these concepts mocked up.
I'm actually being productive here, for once I'm productive.
Do me.
Honey, I'm in this zone, right now.
It's just kinda what I need, you know Like a chance to show that I can be functional, and create, and contribute to something off my meds.
Okay, I'll give you space.
Thanks.
You, me, tomorrow night.
I might even bring some props.
Tomorrow night.
Shit.
Hey! Hey, man.
I was wondering which you liked better: Abraxas or Moonflower? - What d'you mean? - Santana.
I wondered which album you liked better.
I know most fans are pretty divided.
I know I am.
? I don't really know any Santana music.
picked it up for me in a concert.
It's comfortable, solid.
But hey, maybe you can play me some of their stuff sometimes? Sure.
So, you're trying out for this, or? Me? No.
I do AV.
Lighting and design, that sort of things.
Besides, Grease is so lame.
It's so gay, right? You know, I'm working on this experimental theater thing right now We're still casting.
You should come check it out.
Experimental? It's pretty cutting edge.
You don't see stuff like this in Overland Park that often.
Cool.
You know Redeemer Free Chruch? The huge thing off the Highway 4? That's where we meet.
Come around Yeah, so Should I bring anything? Like movement clothing? Just your bad self.
Just my bad self.
So, this part here, the water, would have kind of a trompe-l'oeil type feel.
Like a faux finish? Kind of, yeah.
Like a gives you the illusion of depth.
We need that.
Oh, I love it.
I love it! I gotta say, Tara.
I am impressed.
I know you've been through a lot, but as they say in Vitaself, you really power-jammed it.
You know, you conquered it with your creativity and your talent.
What are you referring to? I know about the MPD, the multiple personalities.
My cousin's best friend from college has it, so I totally know all about it.
It's DID, actually.
They reclassified it.
You know, the weird thing is, I kinda feel like everyone has it.
You know a little bit.
Like over the course of a day, how many different women do we have to be? You know, the Work Tiffany, or Sexy Tiffany, or Dog Owner Tiffany.
You know, it's hard, right? - Hey you guys! - Oh, hey! Tiffany, I just wanted to drop off the sales reports from last week.
You can just put them Charmaine, can I talk to you, for a minute? Sure.
You told her.
It was a team trust building exercice, okay? I mean, it was intense.
You were asked to share our greatest tribulation.
Your greatest tribulation.
Not mine.
You had no right.
It was private and intimate.
My team leader was talking .
I'm like ass cancer to you? Hey, guys.
Look, I did not mean to cause trouble.
I'm so sorry, I was just I was curious.
But Tara, I want you to know something.
I live my life by certain credos, no crosstalk, and no judgment.
All right? So you can trust me.
Fine.
I was molested.
Oh my God! - I know.
- Oh my God! I'm stronger for it.
I'm actually glad it happened in a way.
So yesterday we talked about conduct and hygiene, today we get down to business.
But before you shadow Tonia, I wanna show to you last minute things about our kitchen.
That's Grambo, he has a glass eye.
Now, here's an area of interest for all servers.
This is the pizzazzing station.
This is the last stop to each order before it goes to the customer.
Now it's your job, Kate, to pizzazz'it up.
This chart shoes what zazz goes where.
Like it says in your packet, It's the little deeds that make a big diff.
Shit! Kate, great job today.
Can I see you in my office? This is my office, in case you're interested in upper management, someday.
As you can see, life is pretty sweet.
That's me with the Don Dalcan.
When they come through Havana Park, they wanna eat at Barnabeez.
Really? Like, who's the most famous person that you've seen.
There's something I like to show every new employee.
What is it? You might have already heard this about me but I used to work at the Ground Zero Barnabeez.
What? The Lower Manhattan franchise.
It was a block I mean 2 or 3 blocks from the World Trade Center.
I was the assistant manager there, for a year.
And The shit got real.
What was it like? It was horrifying.
I was in the Florida Pen Hen when I got the call.
I was visiting a buddy of mine from restaurant management school.
At least, someone was able to grab this for me.
So what? Do you, like anyone, feel a rational day? Sure as hell could have.
Look, taskmaster, but that's part of my career.
I work hard, and I play hard.
If you ever need anything, or you I don't know, just want a wrap, let me know.
Shit, that was my last match.
We'll have to monkey fuck.
Tara? I believe we have a date? Hell House? Is that the name of the play or something? Oh my God! I've heard of these.
They hell houses.
They're like haunting houses, except they're run by a church.
And instead of Dracula and monsters and sheet, it's all freaky Jesus-y stuff.
It's homophobic, and antifeminist, and it's not theater.
I'm out of here.
Wait, can we not jump to conclusions for five minutes? - Thanks for coming.
- Hi.
Hey man Is this a religious thing? Technically, yes.
But it doesn't matter if you're a Christian.
It's acting.
Way more hardcore than anything you get to do in school.
- I guess.
- You can trust me.
Are you cool with taking off your shirt? We need an AIDS patient being flogged in hell.
What are you doing here, Buck? I think your lady got a little gun shy.
Why is that? We never had any problems in the bedroom before.
It's the one place we're not fucked up.
Well Tara thinks you wanna get busy with the alters.
T and Alice, I mean.
Not me.
I know you ain't no homo.
Anyway, she thinks you've been banging her while she wasn't her.
You know what I mean.
It's tough.
Cause I just want Tara.
I understand why she doesn't want me conscious.
Hell! It ain't all that bad.
If I were you, I'd take free advantage of the situation.
Oh really? Yeah.
Remember that chick I scored with last year? At the snack bar, down the bowling alley? Man, she was drunk as fuck, but I didn't let that stop me.
Of course I got crabs.
Yeah, I remember.
We're men, you know.
We just need to stick it in somewhere.
Ladies are different.
They get highs, and lows.
We just gotta run the lightening.
I guess.
Me? I take it where I can get it.
If I hadn't got my dick blown off in Nam, I'll be getting a regular.
You weren't Named.
You are a thin ass, Maxie.
What do you wanna watch on the idiot box? You got UFC or porn.
Porn, I guess.
What kind? I got Big girls, Black girls, Big Black girls - Amputees.
- Amateurs.
Ain't we all? Short, curvy, that's fine.
- What is Big jack TT? - Look at this.
- Is that real? - What you see is just This bitch is cool.
My God, that dear's into golden shower.
Don't look at me.
Where did you get this stuff?
com Good morning, my prince.
What you're doin' Alice? I've been reading a tasteful guide to the french arts.
Chapter 5 says "Wake him with your mouth.
" The french arts? Tips and tricks for the marriage bed.
How kinky.
If there's one thing I've learned from you children over the years it's that whipped topping makes not so yummy things taste yummier.
Cut it out, Alice.
Not the sex, not even a beege.
Well, forgive me for being a powdy patty.
But I feel very unbecoming, right now.
Come on, Alice.
What the dickens? Why are we eating cereals on an Alice day? She was gonna make Mickey Mouse pancakes.
How come she's not down here infantilizing us just like the usual? Alice is not in a great mood, today.
I get it.
She had to strap-on one of those giant maxi pads she wears.
Alice thinks tampons are of the Devil.
She calls them "Sin Missils".
What are you guys doing today? I still work at Barnabeez.
Today, I get a shot as one of the regular bitches and if i do a good job, I get to go on the floor for real, next time.
I still don't understand how you got a job without doing an interview.
Why? Look at me.
Yeah, but you do realize you need to be nice to people to be a waitress? I just think you're jealous cause I'm gonna be rich, and you're still gonna be wearing clothes that make you smell like meemaw.
They're vintage.
Hey, Dad - I have an audition, today.
- Really? You mean you're going to try-outs.
It's not Hollywood, Marsh.
It's a highschool production of Grease.
- Who you're gonna be? A Pink Lady? - I'm going for Kenickie.
Good luck, son.
Why are we eating these ghetto tore-up Cheerios? And they come in a bag.
Cause the non-ghetto ones are $1,5 more and taste exactly the same.
Mum? Almost.
Thank Christ.
Amen to that.
Can I get you anything? A toast, or a waffle, a shot of Patrón? I'm good.
I just need some help, joining the dots.
I can't believe they're maning such a trite production.
When did you know Iza? Even something mainstream, like Miller, and God forbid Wilder, would be preferable to this.
A sex-crazed Bobby Soxers, it's not even good on an ironic level.
- So, who do you wanna be? - Sandy.
Jason Morrion's auditioning? No way, I think he's just on crew.
I always assumed he was dumb you know, based on the whole Santana fetish, but his take on russian money film class last week, was pretty good.
I bet.
It was all like "like backwards and shit".
I think he's nice.
Why is there lipstick on the dessert topping? - Katie was off it.
- It's not funny.
This is Alice's shade, Max, "Fire and Ice", I'd know it anywhere.
I'm the one who has to scrub her lips prints off the gin and the cooking cherry and everything else she pretends not to drink.
Alice tried to get in my pants this morning.
So she's using props, now? I didn't take the bait, I'll have you know.
I'm suprised.
Don't you have a kind of a "mommy boner" for Alice? Seriously, I don't find Alice attractive.
But she did look kinda hot in that one thing she wears.
That psycho pinafore thing that makes her look like, the robot girl from Small Wonders that you're into, now? Kinda cute in a retro way.
You wanna fuck Alice.
That's messed up.
Who would want to fuck Alice? You would hit that.
I would not hit that.
You, on the other hand Prove it.
Gladly.
What's wrong? Nothing.
I'm just, you know, out of my mind.
I'm tired.
- OK.
- No, wait It's OK, you have to go to work anyway.
I'm gonna get to therapy, and I've got that design consult with Charmaine's new boss.
Let's Can we try this later? How's the new regime going? Or lack of regime, I should say? It's fine.
No, it's chaos, but I still feel good about going off the meds.
You do? It seemed like there was no alternative, when I was on Thorazine, I couldn't eat I couldn't paint, I couldn't fuck.
And the kids, how are they doing? They're good, actually.
They're kind of relieved.
I'm kind of worried about Max, though.
The alters have been - coming on to him.
- Really? Alice wants me to get her pregnant and have a baby.
Alice is the one naturally old school? Yeah.
Have you ever wanted to fuck the dude? Buck? No Fuck you! Alright, well look, if Alice has a baby, that's a real baby, like you have to take care of it.
It's not something like imaginary baby that just comes and goes, right? It doesn't matter It's weird, I'm not doing it.
He made out with T.
, and then stopped himself, luckily.
And then Alice came at him with a can of whipped cream.
He says he respects our arrangment and doesn't sleep with them, but I don't know, I think he's tempted.
And yet this morning, when I initiated sex, he couldn't get hard, so Am I only hot when I'm a different person? I mean How insulting is that? Well People desire what they can't have.
He can have me.
He can't have all of you.
The alters? They're not me.
I envy your sex life, dude.
You know, it's like you go one of those three packs of cereals.
You got like a fruit loop, and a honey smack, you just dump the milk in the box, and then chuck the ones you don't like.
I ain't chucking anyone.
But I'm not eating out much cereal.
How is that even possible? Hey, Tiffany St John.
But you can call me Tiff.
Rupe, Clint get off her.
Off! Come here.
Sorry about that.
I'm Tara.
Nice to meet you.
These are the kids.
Come on in.
You're a bad boy.
- Great space.
- Oh, thanks.
Just got us a little something for us girls to nibble on.
So you work with my sister? Not so much work as a way of life.
I've been a part of the Vitaself team since I graduated, six years ago.
You believe it? Charmaine is enjoying it.
Yes, she is really growing as a representative.
Now, important things: what can I get you to drink? Cab-Sauv? White Zin? - It's never too early for me.
- No, just some water for me is fine.
OK.
I just got these new stemless goblets.
So modern, right? I just think the regular kind are so stuffy.
OK.
So, you know, I could start by showing you some of the murals I've done recently? I saw your website already.
I'm in love.
Let's just dive in and talk a concept.
How do you see me? I just I just met you, so Yeah, but you know like a pretty easy tell, right? Young, professional single gal.
Little bit crazy.
- Sorry.
- What? Nothing, nothing.
You know what I'm thinking is? Tell me if I'm wrong here.
Something exotic.
You know? I want something that says: "This is not a condo in Overland Park, Kansas".
"This is a condo in Guatemala.
" - I'm a freak, right? - No, I love the hacienda look, it's Yes, street scene, maybe throw in a couple of brown babies, now you're talking! Salud! Hi, I'm Kate.
I'm the new server.
I'm supposed to be training, today? OK, I'm Tonya.
Gene.
- Gene's gonna love you.
- Really? Good to see you again.
Gene Stuart, general manager.
We're glad to have you as a probationnary member of the Barnabeez family.
Hi.
Thanks for coming in on such short notice.
Are you kidding? I am totally psyched.
Go on, let's start a tour.
You're gonna have to get rid of this before i let you on the floor.
This is a family restaurant, not a rock record store.
Yeah, no problem.
How was your new job? Awesome.
Do you know when you order a salad at Barnabeez? It's actually not hard-boiled egg.
It's this tube of egg-couloured stuff called Eggular.
And they alos refill the condiments with jerrick(??) instead of Heinz.
And they reuse the bread sticks.
But it's cool.
D'you know on a Saturday, you can make 200 $.
What price is dignity? I don't know what you're talking about.
- Hey, honey.
- Hey.
- Is that the new thing? - Yeah.
The consult went great.
Charmaine actually did me a favor, for once.
It's a mural, too, not some boring bathroom job.
I see I've had this weird feeling, though, today, like maybe Charmaine told this Tiffany woman about me and my thing.
Charmy said she didn't, but I wouldn't worry about it.
I think we need new wine glasses.
What are you doing? Tryin' to get laid.
I'm sorry.
I have to get these concepts mocked up.
I'm actually being productive here, for once I'm productive.
Do me.
Honey, I'm in this zone, right now.
It's just kinda what I need, you know Like a chance to show that I can be functional, and create, and contribute to something off my meds.
Okay, I'll give you space.
Thanks.
You, me, tomorrow night.
I might even bring some props.
Tomorrow night.
Shit.
Hey! Hey, man.
I was wondering which you liked better: Abraxas or Moonflower? - What d'you mean? - Santana.
I wondered which album you liked better.
I know most fans are pretty divided.
I know I am.
? I don't really know any Santana music.
picked it up for me in a concert.
It's comfortable, solid.
But hey, maybe you can play me some of their stuff sometimes? Sure.
So, you're trying out for this, or? Me? No.
I do AV.
Lighting and design, that sort of things.
Besides, Grease is so lame.
It's so gay, right? You know, I'm working on this experimental theater thing right now We're still casting.
You should come check it out.
Experimental? It's pretty cutting edge.
You don't see stuff like this in Overland Park that often.
Cool.
You know Redeemer Free Chruch? The huge thing off the Highway 4? That's where we meet.
Come around Yeah, so Should I bring anything? Like movement clothing? Just your bad self.
Just my bad self.
So, this part here, the water, would have kind of a trompe-l'oeil type feel.
Like a faux finish? Kind of, yeah.
Like a gives you the illusion of depth.
We need that.
Oh, I love it.
I love it! I gotta say, Tara.
I am impressed.
I know you've been through a lot, but as they say in Vitaself, you really power-jammed it.
You know, you conquered it with your creativity and your talent.
What are you referring to? I know about the MPD, the multiple personalities.
My cousin's best friend from college has it, so I totally know all about it.
It's DID, actually.
They reclassified it.
You know, the weird thing is, I kinda feel like everyone has it.
You know a little bit.
Like over the course of a day, how many different women do we have to be? You know, the Work Tiffany, or Sexy Tiffany, or Dog Owner Tiffany.
You know, it's hard, right? - Hey you guys! - Oh, hey! Tiffany, I just wanted to drop off the sales reports from last week.
You can just put them Charmaine, can I talk to you, for a minute? Sure.
You told her.
It was a team trust building exercice, okay? I mean, it was intense.
You were asked to share our greatest tribulation.
Your greatest tribulation.
Not mine.
You had no right.
It was private and intimate.
My team leader was talking .
I'm like ass cancer to you? Hey, guys.
Look, I did not mean to cause trouble.
I'm so sorry, I was just I was curious.
But Tara, I want you to know something.
I live my life by certain credos, no crosstalk, and no judgment.
All right? So you can trust me.
Fine.
I was molested.
Oh my God! - I know.
- Oh my God! I'm stronger for it.
I'm actually glad it happened in a way.
So yesterday we talked about conduct and hygiene, today we get down to business.
But before you shadow Tonia, I wanna show to you last minute things about our kitchen.
That's Grambo, he has a glass eye.
Now, here's an area of interest for all servers.
This is the pizzazzing station.
This is the last stop to each order before it goes to the customer.
Now it's your job, Kate, to pizzazz'it up.
This chart shoes what zazz goes where.
Like it says in your packet, It's the little deeds that make a big diff.
Shit! Kate, great job today.
Can I see you in my office? This is my office, in case you're interested in upper management, someday.
As you can see, life is pretty sweet.
That's me with the Don Dalcan.
When they come through Havana Park, they wanna eat at Barnabeez.
Really? Like, who's the most famous person that you've seen.
There's something I like to show every new employee.
What is it? You might have already heard this about me but I used to work at the Ground Zero Barnabeez.
What? The Lower Manhattan franchise.
It was a block I mean 2 or 3 blocks from the World Trade Center.
I was the assistant manager there, for a year.
And The shit got real.
What was it like? It was horrifying.
I was in the Florida Pen Hen when I got the call.
I was visiting a buddy of mine from restaurant management school.
At least, someone was able to grab this for me.
So what? Do you, like anyone, feel a rational day? Sure as hell could have.
Look, taskmaster, but that's part of my career.
I work hard, and I play hard.
If you ever need anything, or you I don't know, just want a wrap, let me know.
Shit, that was my last match.
We'll have to monkey fuck.
Tara? I believe we have a date? Hell House? Is that the name of the play or something? Oh my God! I've heard of these.
They hell houses.
They're like haunting houses, except they're run by a church.
And instead of Dracula and monsters and sheet, it's all freaky Jesus-y stuff.
It's homophobic, and antifeminist, and it's not theater.
I'm out of here.
Wait, can we not jump to conclusions for five minutes? - Thanks for coming.
- Hi.
Hey man Is this a religious thing? Technically, yes.
But it doesn't matter if you're a Christian.
It's acting.
Way more hardcore than anything you get to do in school.
- I guess.
- You can trust me.
Are you cool with taking off your shirt? We need an AIDS patient being flogged in hell.
What are you doing here, Buck? I think your lady got a little gun shy.
Why is that? We never had any problems in the bedroom before.
It's the one place we're not fucked up.
Well Tara thinks you wanna get busy with the alters.
T and Alice, I mean.
Not me.
I know you ain't no homo.
Anyway, she thinks you've been banging her while she wasn't her.
You know what I mean.
It's tough.
Cause I just want Tara.
I understand why she doesn't want me conscious.
Hell! It ain't all that bad.
If I were you, I'd take free advantage of the situation.
Oh really? Yeah.
Remember that chick I scored with last year? At the snack bar, down the bowling alley? Man, she was drunk as fuck, but I didn't let that stop me.
Of course I got crabs.
Yeah, I remember.
We're men, you know.
We just need to stick it in somewhere.
Ladies are different.
They get highs, and lows.
We just gotta run the lightening.
I guess.
Me? I take it where I can get it.
If I hadn't got my dick blown off in Nam, I'll be getting a regular.
You weren't Named.
You are a thin ass, Maxie.
What do you wanna watch on the idiot box? You got UFC or porn.
Porn, I guess.
What kind? I got Big girls, Black girls, Big Black girls - Amputees.
- Amateurs.
Ain't we all? Short, curvy, that's fine.
- What is Big jack TT? - Look at this.
- Is that real? - What you see is just This bitch is cool.
My God, that dear's into golden shower.
Don't look at me.
Where did you get this stuff?