Upright (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

1 - I think my brother's got a crush on you.
- That's convenient! Look, I am going home to to see my family, and the prospect was giving me panic attacks.
I lost my pills, so, we're going to Port Augusta to get some more.
How did you do it? - Swimming.
- Playing netball.
You know this is illegal, don't you? Stealing a prescription? How do I know you can look after that girl? She's indestructible, dude! Hurry up, dickhead! Come back here! You can hear what's coming, if you know what you're listening for.
My mum's dying.
You can hear that? Hold on.
I gotta charge my fuckin' glass.
Charge your glasses! Here, you can do that 'cos I've gotta go and do a speech.
Ugh! Pinot! Kill me.
Hello! Ding ding ding.
Ching ching ching.
I don't mind sound effects.
Here comes the Best Man's speech.
Known thoughout history as being the best speech.
Toby's my brother.
As you all know, 'cos you're at his wedding, I had a speech, but I lost it.
but, I think this is going fine.
So! To my amazing mum, Jen.
Toby and I are so lucky to have had her bring us up, pretty much single-handedly.
You know, after dad went you guys know that story.
and to my brother Toby, for growing the fuck up, like a proper man, and, of course, Suzanna Rose Flynn.
Suzie, here's to yousie.
You look very pretty, and, I just wanna say, that it's not too late to change your mind.
You've only been married for a few hours All right? Hey! Wildy's up.
Hey.
Come on.
Anyway, nonono.
I was joking.
What you have together Anyway.
Umm, Suzie.
Thank you for rescuing my big brother Toby from a life of lugging amps, and electrifying microphones, and, you know, half-remembered fucks in cheap motels.
Oop, he's up.
Big fella's up.
That means dancing.
Press play! Press play! Go, let's dance.
This moment will pass.
Dance motherfuckers.
Dance like it's the last night of your life.
Rock'n'roll! Woo! Rock'n'fuckin' roll, you beige west and southern cunts.
You'll never be able to get me! Forget your tent? - Sorry? - No tent.
Ah yeah.
Haha.
- Is that a piano? - Yep.
It's a piano.
- Do you play? - Yeah, a little bit.
Go on then! Bit early, don't you reckon? Oh.
Yeah! Used to play French horn.
Well, if you're heading west, might see you at the next stop.
Maybe, get a little bit of a tinkle? Eh? Maybe.
Can you get my jumper, from the front? - No.
Get it yourself.
- Can you just get it, now? If you're going to the shop, can you get some phone credit, please? And sandwiches? Cheezels, please? So, do I, like, just put it in? Come on.
Shouldn't feel sharp.
If it does, you're not high enough.
Should feel mildly uncomfortable.
Thanks.
My dad would've been totally helpless.
Come here, love.
Ooh! Customer.
G'day! Help you? Yeah.
Morning.
We're on the lookout for these individuals.
Do you recognise either of these? Glasses, glassess, glassess Perfect eyesight all my life, then last year Let's go.
- What's the hurry? - Your mum's dying.
Remember? Wow.
Harsh.
- You got phone credit, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- What's wrong with you? - Nothing.
You seem a bit edgy.
Ah, right.
That's inconvenient.
Yeah.
Big Galah! Tick that shit off the bucket list! These are really old.
Do tampons go off? What if I go into toxic shock? Okay, general feelings of unwell.
Durr.
Err, temperature, nausea, vomiting, rash.
So, basically, everything! Oh, plus face-freeze.
Lucky.
Is my face frozen? Is it? Lucky? Okay.
Yay! - Leave it.
It looks good on - Eh! No! I don't wanna listen to your weird man-breathing.
- Right.
- Right what? No! Hey! Oh, okay.
Okay! Oh, great! You're gonna put on, like, Micheal Boobay, aren't you? Or, like, U2.
Or whatever old people listen to.
Micheal Boobay.
Micheal Boobay.
Just, shush.
Shush.
Just listen.
- Listen.
- Listen! What is this? This is that piano.
Recorded in the house I grew up in.
Is it you playing? It's 1954.
It's my gran.
Sorry.
It's enough.
Can we pull over? I wanna use your phone.
Yeah, 'course.
And I think I need to change my tampon.
Hey, you'd called Matty, Meg and Andy.
Leave a message.
- If you're ugly! - Heh, Megan! Dad! Err.
Are you up? Sorry I just walked out the other day.
I was umm.
Yeah, umm, I'm gonna stay at Becky's for a few days, I think, so, don't worry about me.
It's nice down here.
Peaceful.
Okay.
Good chat.
Bye.
Meg? You okay? Yeah! Coming! Is it cancer? Your mum? Yep.
Dad? My dad died when we were kids.
His heart stopped in the 2nd half of a hockey semi-final when he was 46.
That's a bag of scrotes! Yes, it is.
It's a big bag of scrotes.
So, you're gonna be an orphan.
Don't think they call you an orphan when you're a grown-up.
Sorry, did you just call yourself a grown-up? Gonna have to stop and fill up soon.
Shit.
- It's fine.
There's 1/4 tank - No-no-no-no - Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
OK, lift your bum.
- What? You're freaking me out! I think I left my wallet in the toilet block.
- No, you didn't ! Why? - Yes.
I think I did.
I don't know why! That's a stupid question! Why would you ask "Why?", Lucky? That doesn't make any fucking sense.
- What are we gonna do? - OK, we have to turn around and go fix it.
We can't turn round.
There's not enough fuel to get back! Lucky! That's all of our money! God dammit! Shit! Lucky! Start the car! - What? - Start the fucking car! - Why? - Go! They've got my wallet! - How do you know? - Go! Get in the car! It's a ute! Have you got our wallet? Fuck! Maybe they made a mistake.
- Just start the car.
- Stop yelling at me! Go.
Go faster.
Go faster! Yeah.
Even if they do have your wallet, what is your plan if we catch up to them? I'll get my wallet back.
Oh.
"Excuse me.
I think you might've mistaken my friend's pink purse for your pink purse, I wonder if we can have our pink purse back.
" I don't understand why you took the purse with you to the loo anyway.
Well, it had my tampons in it.
Besides, how can you be pissed off? It's not your money.
That was the deal.
- What deal? - That I drive you.
And you - What? Pay for everything? - Well, yes! And I pay you back obviously - Oh, yeah.
I don't remember that deal.
- It was a silent deal.
- Oh right, that one, yeah.
- It was implied in a conversation we had.
Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! There's cops! We are not stopping.
- Okay.
So, I'm your daughter - No! Do not start that again, I'm not lying to the police.
I haven't done anything wrong.
Why should I lie? 'Cos if you don't, they'll wanna call my real dad.
- So? - So, he thinks I'm at a friend's house.
- In Karingunna.
- What? Well, he doesn't know I'm going to Mum's, does he? Jesus Christ shitting hell, Meg! - So whose ute is this? - Matty's.
My brother's.
Ehem.
- Hi, Officer.
- Hi.
So Are you aware that you were going 145km/h, mate? No, I di - I'm so sorry.
- Wow.
Sorry that you got a $500 fine and 3 demerit points? Are you the owner of this vehicle, sir? Ah, no, actually.
I borrowed it off a mate.
So that I could, umm, you know, move the my daughter's piano? Yeah, we noticed the piano.
I used to play the viola.
- Viola's a lovely - Mate's name? - Oh, yeah - The owner of the vehicle.
- Yes.
Umm, Matty.
- Adams.
Matthew.
Adam s.
Matthew.
Adams.
Adams.
License, please.
Ah, yes.
Blockbuster.
Need to clean out the old wall-et.
This won't take long.
Thank you.
Fuck.
We are so screwed! - Lachlan Flynn.
- I knew it was him! Go on.
Every time I listen to a word you say.
I'm gonna get arrested 'cos you said I should go faster.
- Mr Flynn.
- Hi, Officer.
I'm sorry to do this to you, but I'm such a big fan.
I saw Dog Swamp open for Jet in Melbourne in 2007.
6.
2006.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Such a great gig.
You fell off the stage, remember? I jumped, I think.
Yeah, right! You and your bro.
What happened with you guys? You just stopped! Yeah! It's a funny old industry.
Yeah.
When I saw you guys leave the caravan park this morning, I knew I knew that face! And now you're here! What are the chances? Slim, but not outrageous.
Could I, umm, look, I know it's terribly unprofessional and you can't tell anyone this ever happened, but - Could I get a photo? - Yeah, 'course, 'course.
- Ah! Fuck the police! - Yeah, fuck the police! I mean, not it's just a song.
My daughter loves taking photos! Do you want her to take one? That'd be Here you go, darling.
Do you wanna take a photo of me and the - Thanks, darlin'! - Sure, sure.
Just one second.
Oh ho ho ho! You're a legend! Smile! - Awesome.
- Ah, mate! - No worries.
- Thanks so much.
- Here ya go.
- Thanks.
- Drive slower.
- Definitely drive slower.
What do we do? Do we just go? Sorry! Sorry.
Almost forgot.
We've been trying to track down these two.
They robbed a couple of pubs down on the peninsula.
You haven't seen them on your travels, have ya? Motherfuckers! - Maybe we'll get our wallet back.
- Go, you dickhead! My grandma told me: Do not take shit From anybody in this motherfucking bitch This is stupid.
If we go faster, we'll get there quicker.
Doesn't work like that.
If you go faster, you use more fuel.
But we'll be there quicker, so we won't need as much.
But we won't get there, because we'll have run out! But if we go faster then we'll be there before we run out.
Just Oh, come on! Like that's gonna make a difference.
It might.
- Actually do just - What are you Wind-drag uses more petrol.
How do you know that? - I just know.
- I just know! - That's not what I sound like! - I know all the things about stuff 'cos of my massive head.
Ha! Yes! Hahaaa! - We're gonna make it! - Okay! Okay, fine.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Knew I was right.
- Wanna swap? - No! - Are you even pushing! - Shut up! Just steer.
Yes, boss! You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yes, boss.
Sorry, boss.
That's a sad bit.
Why is that bit sad? Umm.
It's, like, a dominant 7 going to a relative minor.
But why is that sad? I dunno, actually.
It just is.
It's like sad sad.
It's kinda like my sad.
Well, it depends what else is going on.
Woah.
Hill! Hill! Hill! - Go go go! - Shit! Lucky! We're gonna make it! - We're gonna make it! - Yeah! Come on! Get in! How are we gonna pay for fuel? It's a crazy story, actually.
We had our money stolen from us out of this lavatory in the middle of nowhere.
It was one of those long-drops.
Disgusting.
Err and then we ran out of petrol, so I was wondering what sort of system you have.
IOUs, or maybe I Shit! send you a cheque, or wire it to you, or No you don't Thank you.
So much.
For your help.
What the fuck are they doing here? Distract him.
What? Distract the guy smoking.
- I don't know how! - Figure it out! I don't know what to say to people like that! - Hey.
- Get your own.
Aw, no, I don't smoke.
Just saying hey.
Hey.
Ever tried vaping? Looks, sorta, almost as cool, but not as cool.
Intuitively, it'd be better for your health.
Not now.
I mean, it's up to you.
But you look incredibly pretty healthy.
How much do you weigh? I mean, I'm just saying, 'cos it's interesting.
You look like you've got, erm great body-mass in BMI.
Sorry, I don't know how they measure BMI, you know, you get shopping centres.
There are those machines that measure your BMI and, I'm lke, is that the same thing Do you call that a man-bun? Like a top-knot? It looks really good.
I can't do it 'cos I don't have the cheekbones.
How tall are you? Like, 6'? 6'2"? You're uphill, so it's hard to tell.
Fuck off, faggot.
Do people still say faggot? Fuck.
- What are you doing? - Start the car! - What? - Start the fucking car.
- But we don't have any fuel.
- Yes we do.
Nah.
Bullshit.
What are you doing? - Meg! - Shh! Fuck.
It's not starting! Oi! Thanks for the top-up, fuck-knuckle! Oh, sweet lord Go, Lucky! Go go go go! Get in the car! Suck my dick, lags and bogans! Police, please.
Woooooo! Yes! Hey hey, look! We're like a gang! I think you need more than two people to have a gang.
No, get stuffed we're a gang.
How much did they take? - All of it.
- Fuck! What are you so happy about? I got my wallet back, didn't I? Is that you? No, that's err Matty.
My brother.
- Is he back in Karragunna? - Karingunna.
Yeah.
Er.
He turns 20, this week, actually.
- What? Why are you - How much petrol did you put in this? Plenty.
I put in plenty! Oh shit.
What? It's a diesel, isn't it? Right.
Well, this is not ideal.