Vinyl (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
Secrets
1 (theme music playing) (man vocalizing) Hey, now, now, now, now Hey, little baby You been on my mind Look in my dreams Your taste is all I find Hey, now, darling Where you stay out all night long I wanna tell you You know your daddy's home All night long Whoo All night long.
Baby, I want to be with you Oh, yeah, I want to be with you - Well, tonight - Tonight Tonight We always knew it would feel so right So come on, baby Gonna say hi to Maury.
How are you? I want to be with you so bad Oh, baby, I want to be with you Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah.
(applause) Okay, all right, enough.
It's Andy Cohen's act.
It can't be that good.
No offense, fellas, okay? But the guy's a hash slinger.
He'll sign anybody.
Actually, you know what? I'll sign anybody.
Jackie Jervis, Koronet Records.
I'll give you my card.
What are they doing with Andy? They afraid of money? So I get a call.
I get a call they're giving a lifetime achievement award to Maury Gold.
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.
Jackie: That's why we're here.
And they ask me will I do the honors? All the pioneers in the record business will be there.
Pioneers.
Wow.
Pioneers? Daniel Boone, Lewis and Clark those are pioneers, okay? The putzes in this room, you putzes, I guarantee you not one of you has been west of 10th Avenue.
- (laughing) - Woman: Oh, that was cruel.
So where do they sit me? They sit me next to Wexler over here who's been in my ear all night telling me how he's recorded every schvartze since Booker T.
Washington.
And speaking of schvartzes, Berry Gordy's here.
There he is.
I know a lot of you thought he was a waiter, but, no, it's not.
It's him.
So who else? Oh, we got Neil Bogart here.
How are you doing, Neil? Just started his new label.
Casablanca.
You know, actually, I wasn't sure it was Neil when he walked in.
But then he tipped the valet a gram of coke, and then I knew.
Oh, who else? Who else? Ah, there's Richie Finestra.
- (applause) - Richie.
Richie.
The nicest guy in the record business, okay? He's about to unload I mean, sell his record company to PolyGram.
But what does he do? He walks away from the deal.
He walks away from it.
The Krauts were so dumb, they were actually gonna buy it, but Richie saves them from themselves - for some reason.
- (light chuckles) You'd never see a Jew pull a move like that.
(laughter) You know? Oh, you'd like to buy this box of rocks? Gezunterheit, may it drag your whole company under.
No, but seriously, they asked me to say some nice things about Maury, but honestly, what's the point? I mean, there is no amount of flowery bullshit that I could say that Maury wouldn't say about himself.
So, everybody, Maury.
There he is, stand up.
Make it look real.
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the elder statesmen of the record business, Maury Gold! Give it up.
There he is.
- (music playing) - Thank you.
Ah! (singing in Spanish) (sniffs) - Hey, what the fuck was that about? - What? Jackie Jervis.
- It was a bit.
Forget it.
- So it's not true? - Mr.
and Mrs.
Finestra.
- Hey.
- (camera clicks) - Do you mind? Did you or did you not sell the company? Babe, what are you worried about? Everything's gonna be fine.
- Nothing's gonna change.
- Nothing's gonna change? Millions of dollars isn't gonna change anything? Can we not talk about this right now? Oh, look at those flaring nostrils.
Call Marlin Perkins.
It's something out of "Wild Kingdom.
" Where'd you get that shit about my company? Okay, well, that answers that.
I guess it's true.
You know my PR chick Andrea Zito? You know I do.
You didn't answer my question.
I heard it from my nail girl Eva Braun.
Watch yourself, sweetie, okay, before I What, spank me? Threaten me again, I'll tear one of your nuts off.
How great is she? I love you people.
Jackie just signed Dusty Springfield.
Yeah, she said she loved working with you, but now that PolyGram is out, she can't spend another year watching you flush her career down the toilet.
- Watch your step, Jackie.
- Oh.
Hannibal wants to have lunch with me, Richie.
(toilet flushes) Fucking Jervis your idea? You couldn't get Henny Youngman? Which part of any of this you think was my idea? (sniffs) Now, listen to me.
Detective came to see me.
Asking me questions about you and Jimmy Porter.
- Fucking hell.
- I told him I hardly knew him, but then he mentioned Galasso.
Look, I think he's fishing.
I don't think he has anything.
Yeah, yeah, they fish all the time.
What the fuck happened with the Krauts? Change of plans.
I'm not selling.
I'm going in a new direction musically.
Those assholes out there, they don't give a shit about music.
That's why they make money.
I don't know why I bother with you.
Hey, remember Lester Grimes? Little Jimmy Little.
I remember the ones that had hits.
He had a couple blues tracks we never broke.
I went to see him.
Oh, instead of selling your company, you're scoring junk from some shine you couldn't break in 1952.
- To say hello.
- Do yourself a favor, kid.
Say hello to a headshrinker.
Richie: How long you been living up here? Lester: A while now.
Richie: Still married? I married a great girl.
Met her in the Village.
Two kids.
House in Connecticut.
You know, fresh air.
What are you doing for work these days? I'm the super here.
A building this size? Big responsibility, no? Fuse boxes, radiators, the interaction.
Mostly I unclog people's toilets.
Keeps me grounded.
Well you seem good.
You always had that look in your eye.
Like you knew something about the world that other people didn't.
You're talking about me in the past tense.
Look, I didn't know what to expect coming here.
I mean, when I saw you the other night, you seemed different.
Well, you just said I seemed good.
You do, okay? You do.
Just I guess time changes people, right? People change themselves or they don't.
Willingness is the key.
You still playing guitar? I manage a few bands.
Local stuff.
Hire out DJs at parties.
Keep my toe in the water.
Cool.
Well, maybe you and I Why did you come here, Richie? Okay.
You remember those sessions we did after the Little Jimmy stuff? We recorded a bunch of your originals.
"My Heart's On Ice.
" "Walk With These Lonely Bones.
" These are the tapes.
They sound fucking great, Lester.
Even after all this time.
I was thinking we could sweeten them up.
A horn, some drums, nothing heavy.
Just you and your voice.
Release it as an album.
"Lester Grimes Sings the Blues.
" Or we or we don't change anything.
Pure like Lightnin' Hopkins.
Then what? We follow it up with a low-down and dirty pity album? Croaking lyrics over a guitar like some old wino with a rotten throat? I'm offering you an opportunity.
I lost my voice because of you.
- Lester, come on.
- My mother died three years back.
I couldn't even sing at her funeral.
And that's a goddamn tragedy, but I'm not the one that told Corrado Galasso to shove his money up his ass.
Man, you act like it was me.
I told you that we both had to play ball.
Fuck you, what you told me! You told me bullshit then, you're telling me more of it now.
- It's not bullshit.
- It's bullshit, Richie! (distant baby crying) At least tell me you'll think about it.
You turn your ass around and you walk through that door and don't you ever come back here, so help me God.
(music playing) (birds cawing) If it rains, we move the fundraiser in here? How exactly will that work? Well, it'll give everyone a visceral understanding of why we need a roof.
Never mind a floor and new walls.
If it rains, the dancers perform on this side and we hope the rest of the roof does not collapse.
You said it was a modest dance company.
I can't ever thank you.
- How will I? - Thank me when we get the money.
And this one says we may have enough for an entire renovation after dinner.
I want you to have realistic expectations.
You need to learn her name and stop treating her like the maid.
Gloria runs the board because she knows the people who are going to make this happen.
Paul Newman lives half a mile from here.
Gloria knew that.
I just knew this was a barn with no one in it.
(scoffs) Face like a crow.
We're going to need another table.
We can't fit 60 people at six tables if they're all in a line.
Makes it feel more intimate.
Like Libor's made everyone dinner.
Sweetheart, if you're making us all dinner, why am I paying a caterer? Without you, I have only dreams.
Is he completely full of shit or is it just that accent? - (laughs) - Libor: For this, she must be punished.
Oh! (laughs) We're gonna need another table.
(elevator bell dings) That reporter from "Rock Scene" called again.
Elisa Fooner.
What else? Walter Yetnikoff says you owe him lunch.
And Joe Corso.
Did he leave a message? He says it was a matter of mutual interest.
(laughing) Pop your head in if he calls again.
You have that meeting with Zak.
I'm gonna need a minute.
You can never keep me So you better use me while you can I'm gonna rock and roll you, baby Roll you till the break of dawn - Whoo! - (snorting) Yeah - Julie: Donny Osmond.
- Richie: Keep him.
- Pagoda.
- Sayonara.
- Lobo.
- Cut him.
- Terry Jacks.
- Scott: Who? - Exactly.
- Skip: Lot of Ks and Ws, but no sales.
Cut him.
Dr.
Hook stays, obviously.
Thin Lizzy.
Hannibal.
- Status Quo? - Gone.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
"Pictures of Matchstick Men" topped the charts.
Back when you were wearing your Nehru jacket.
Anybody else object to dropping Status Quo? - I said fucking cut them! - I thought we were voting.
Whether to keep us in the dark ages? Guys, I'm trying to bring us into the future.
Okay, that's great, Captain Video, but while you're over there in the future, I'm here in the present trying to keep the fucking lights on.
Okay, so do Status Quo make any money? - Not really.
- Well, then, fuck 'em.
Guys, we cut deadwood, okay? Then we got money to bring in new acts so we can promote the shit out of them like you keep telling me you want to do, but, poor you, I never give you the firepower.
Right, right, 'cause it's all about you making my dreams come true.
- Yeah, right.
Who's next? - The album? - On your list.
- Grand Funk.
- Got to keep Grand Funk.
- How are their numbers? - Skip: Decent.
- They're selling out stadiums.
- How's the catalog doing? - Well, good.
We've moving some units on the touring.
Six months left on their contract.
We run the clock out on them, then we decide.
Okay, Johnny Winter.
Sales are steady.
Album's holding in the 40s.
He's an albino.
- Johnny Winter.
- Zak: Keep him.
Fuck's that got to do with anything? Savoy Brown.
Has "Jack the Toad" cracked 100? - It's in the 80s with an anchor.
- (blows raspberry) Cut 'em.
Done.
Next.
- Indigo.
- Who's that, a stripper? No, they're a band.
They do dance music.
They're in the studio now.
They're finishing an album for us.
- I'm hearing good things.
- Then let's see what we get.
Zak, Heather's got your accountant on the phone.
He said you left a bunch of messages, so we should interrupt you.
I'll call him back.
Don't let me stop you.
Well, I got no fucking money left, so what's to talk about? Where are we? We trimmed 70% of our roster, give or take.
- That's big savings.
- Zak: It's not cash.
- We need to generate cash.
- For all the lights and all that.
Or maybe a little extra so I can take my girlfriend to Gray's Papaya.
Jesus Christ, when the fuck did you guys become a bunch of crybabies? Since you stuck it up our asses, Richie.
Maybe you were prepared not to sell, but we fucking weren't.
You want me to buy you out? Fine.
Yeah, now that the valuation of this company is dog shit.
Scott: It's negative dog shit.
We actually owe you money.
All right.
Let's get one of our artists to record a Christmas album.
Even the shitty ones sell.
Jackson 5 and that fucking "Mommy's Making Out With Santa Claus.
" How many weeks did that thing hang out in the top five? Yeah, it's like printing money, man.
- It's August already, Richie.
- So rush it.
Fucking songs are written already.
It would keep some cash flowing.
Robert Goulet in red tights, Santa hat, fucking elves with tambourines.
Skip: Chicks love Robert Goulet.
And that other guy.
What's that other guy's name? The guy with the hairy chest? - "The Long Goodbye" guy.
- That's Elliott Gould.
- He could do a Christmas album.
- He's Jewish.
Sister Mary Melissa could do it.
Not a Jew.
That I know.
Christmas is supposed to be happy, all right? I mean, a nun, too religious.
What are her numbers? "His Heavenly Hands" sold over three million copies.
Three well, get her in the studio.
Record a follow-up.
"His Heavenly Cuticles.
" (laughs) Scott: No, hold up.
Contract's up in October.
Then move it, Momo.
Pick up her option.
And while you're at it, see if she can say a prayer for this fucking company.
(music playing) Party Party Get down, get down Get down, get down Get down, get down Herc.
Herc.
Lester, why don't you tell Clive here to leave the damn records alone? Let the songs play, son.
You got a motherfucking train to catch? (both laugh) Get up, get on up - Get up, get on up - Mm, there you go! There you go! There you go, yeah! Get on up Get up, get on up Get up, get on up Get on the scene, get on up Like a sex machine, get on up - The same old thing - Damn.
- You see that? - Now, why you have to go fuck it up? Fuck this.
See, Lester here, he's a real musician.
You need to learn how to play a piano or a guitar or something.
A kazoo, nigger.
- (laughs) - Leave that boy alone.
You feeling what I'm making, right? I don't know that you're making anything.
Preach.
But I do dig that you're trying.
Hey, why don't you take care of this beer for me? Keep on, Herc.
You've been searching Everywhere For something to believe in You've been searching This soundtrack, why can't they just use the original version? - (music level fades) - Read your own book and you'll know (music level increases) Simone, why do you cry? Forget Simone.
After three days of this, I'm gonna fucking cry.
Don't you know you've got a life? - Dan.
- Now, don't waste it all inside Hey, Dan.
You're eating the mike again.
Aw, man, really? That was a good take, too.
It had a recklessness to it.
- (music stops) - Yeah, wild.
Loved it.
One more just like that with three, maybe four inches - between you and the mike.
- Roger that.
I'm gonna go choke myself on a urinal puck.
See you in a few.
Ugh.
From the top.
- (music playing) - (chatter) (sighs) Holy shit.
Alice Cooper.
What are you doing here? This is a recording studio, isn't it? Right, no, of course.
Hey, man, Clark Morelle, American Century.
- Richie Finestra's outfit.
- Yeah.
I saw you in Rochester, man, start of the tour.
Amazing.
Did it get even better? Well, depends which side of the stage you're on.
- (both laugh) - You know? Five months, 60 some-odd shows, so You guys here recording? No, I'm laying down some vocals for a friend.
You know Todd Rundgren? Yeah, I think I met him once, sure.
Say hi to Richie for me, huh? You know, we'd love to work with you over at American Century if you ever wanted to ahem, wanted to make a move.
We're coming off the number one album in the country.
But that's the band, right? I mean, you ever think about going solo? I mean, come on, you're Alice.
The band's just a bunch of guys standing behind Alice.
Hmm.
How's it going? I have to go, too.
Should I wait till he comes out? - Okay.
- Man: One, two, three.
(playing) I'm not content to be with you - In the daytime - Come on.
Girl, I want to be with you all of the time Jamie: Julie, no.
This isn't working.
- Julie, they don't sound like - What?! All right, oh! Stop.
Whoa.
Take a minute.
Take a minute.
What's your problem? - They don't sound like them.
- Them? Them was an ice pick to the eardrums.
Now they sound like a band a DJ might play on the radio, assuming I promise to blow him while he snorts coke off Raquel Welch's ass.
- Look, I just think that they should - I think, sweetie.
That's what they pay me for, okay? You they pay to rustle up a mushroom knish and a Swiss cheese on rye.
No fucking seeds.
And five baloney sandwiches for the shgatzim.
That was a hint.
You, on lead guitar.
- You're flat.
- I'm not a singer.
I got news for you.
You're not a guitarist either.
And you on bass, when I say harmony, are you hearing that as a spiritual term or do you get that I mean sing the high part? Okay? Let's take it again.
(tapping) (playing) I'm not content to be with you In the daytime Girl, I want to be with you All of the time The only time I feel all right is by your side That's what I'm talking about.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What the hell is this? A discotheque? (music stops) I I thought it would be fine since nobody's gonna be in here till tomorrow.
- We got to go.
- What are you talking about? - Right now.
- I thought you knew the owner.
- You said it would be fine.
- I was wrong.
Come on.
Ma'am, obviously there's just been some sort of misunderstanding, but I'm sure we is she calling the cops? - Yes.
- Jamie: We've got to get out.
I have had a break-in.
Z-Best Restaurant Supply.
- We have to go.
Come on.
- 3101 Bowery.
Corner Spring.
Five hoodlums with guns.
And a blonde prostitute.
- (birds cawing) - (sprinklers hissing) Richie: Why is this up here? Because I didn't want our guests arriving to a five-foot image of my face.
You don't like it there? No, I love it.
I can jerk off to it when you're not home.
(laughs) When am I not home? It's a pretty nice fucking home.
- Mm, I'm just antsy.
- Yeah? - (baby babbling) - Did you replace Andrea yet? - No.
- I'm available.
Don't you think you've got your hands full right now? We've got Estella.
I could work part-time.
We could ride in together.
Babe, you won't get me coffee here.
You're gonna get me coffee at the office? She kept that office running.
She was the woman behind the man.
I would be good at that.
You shouldn't be behind anybody.
Look at that face.
Do something out here.
It's a fucking wasteland.
Start your own theater company.
Your own fucking Warhol Factory.
- (laughs) - Well, why not? Gloria thinks there should be a ballet company out here.
- Oh, yeah? - I hate the ballet.
Get her to do that modern shit you love.
I thought you enjoyed it last time.
Oh, I did.
I loved it.
I mean, the thing with the cow head? Ooh! (laughing) Stop.
(baby crying) I don't want to do anything with Gloria.
She's a bitch.
When are we gonna have another kid? (chuckles) That is incongruent with me starting a revolution in Greenwich.
Yeah, but it gets us another kid.
I'll think about it.
Okay.
That's not helping me think.
- I think it is.
- (Devon laughs) (music playing) Good gosh almighty now Shala-boom-boom, yeah All right, first things first.
From a public relations standpoint, it's critical that not selling the company is perceived as a show of strength.
We at American Century believe in ourselves and our artists.
Right, except that we're dumping 70% of them.
We believe in some of our artists.
Listen to me.
I need you to spin this so that it doesn't look like we're a sinking ship - tossing deadweight overboard.
- Are we? No.
No, we're taking on a little bit of water, that's all.
- Who isn't in this economy? - Did you see Koronet's numbers? They put out a release yesterday.
I hey, fuck 'em, right? Listen to me.
This prick Jackie Jervis is shooting his mouth off.
It's making us look bad.
Okay, how about this? We're trimming the fat, staying lean.
The old roster had no coherence.
It was a cornucopia of disparate sounds.
Okay, cornucopia sounds vaguely good.
Right, I'll come up with something else.
In any case, part two.
I'm starting a sublabel.
- Like Atlanta has Atco.
- Exactly, okay? American Century stays intact, but with a fresh imprint.
In-house.
I need you to come up with a new label, okay? A label that says tomorrow, the future.
Atomic Records.
The future starting today, not 1942.
- Rock-It.
- No.
Not Rocket, but Rock-It.
You get it? Yeah, I do.
Still no.
- (knocks at door) - Hey, Richie.
There's been a lot of rumors about layoffs.
You're a part of this team, Hal.
- Am I? - Hey, an integral part.
- Jesus, all right.
- All right.
- Hey, Kelly just got into Amherst.
- Look at that.
- Yeah.
Blast Off.
- No.
Rethinking.
Hey, Joe.
I heard you called.
Yeah, I figured Angela Davis didn't give you the message.
You know, you're becoming a really hard guy to track down.
I called you several times.
You're becoming like one of those animals that people hunt.
You know, those animals with the antlers.
- A deer? - No, Richie.
A buck.
Yeah, buck, right.
Remember Nora? You met her the other night.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, how are you? Turns out listen.
Turns out she's a singer.
She's got a voice like a gazelle.
Real really? What do you what do you sing? Jazz, blues, nursery rhymes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Forget about nursery rhymes.
She's your next Petula Clark.
Hey, listen.
Consider this as a gift from me to you.
'Cause that's what friends do.
Particularly friends that have a unique shared history together.
Hey, what have you heard about that? What I heard about it? There's nothing to fucking hear.
- He's gone.
He's morto.
You understand? - Okay.
Forget about that, okay? Here's what we're gonna do.
You listen to it, all right, Richie? And then we'll make a record.
I'll promote the shit out of it.
You know what? I'm gonna listen to it.
He's the best.
Hey, put your head up.
Remember what I said.
You've got to project confidence to him.
- Now say thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
Finestra.
And she can fuck like a dolphin.
(music playing) So we get to the hotel and it's a zoo.
You know, there's a lobby full of girls, kids chasing me for autographs, the whole bit.
I finally make it to the elevator and I look past Norm who was guarding the door and across the way are Glen, Mike, and Neal in another elevator, two guards in front of them, you know, arms folded like storm troopers.
- (laughs) - Except there's no one.
Not a single person is paying them a lick of attention.
And I'm shelling out a fortune to these gorillas to guard these guys from Nothing.
Phantoms.
- Hey, Alice.
- I mean, it's hi.
It's wasteful, man.
You know? Alice may be all about excess, but me, Vince, I'm from Phoenix.
I went to school with Indian kids couldn't afford pants.
Yeah, see, this kind of shit would never go down if you were with me.
You'd have fired those bodyguards? No, no, no, I'd keep them, but I'd also hire a bunch of chicks to rush your boys so you don't have an ego problem to deal with.
Last thing you need is that shit following you onstage.
- That's genius.
- Let me get with Richie.
We'll come up with a whole plan.
I don't want you worrying about anything.
- Na zdorovie, man.
- Na yep, okay.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Bottoms up or it's bad luck.
Oh, right.
Third one on the match dies, huh? Mm-hmm.
- (laughing) - I don't know why I threw it.
Wait, so why isn't Shemp dealing with this shit? - I mean, isn't he your manager? - Shep.
Got it.
I love the guy, but honestly he's part of the problem.
You know? He's the one who doesn't want the guys at the press conference.
But then I have to deal with the fallout.
That's all the more reason you need to be on your own.
Can you imagine if I didn't have to take a dump when you were in that hallway? Oh, my God.
Here's Johnny.
- Motherfucker.
- How are you? Thought you were on tour.
No, man, going out again for Christmas.
Hey, you know Clark? Johnny Thunders, meet Clark some-or-such.
Hey, I heard you sold out the Whiskey in like six hours.
You think I give a shit about the fucking box office? - N-no.
- Hey, don't be a fucking asshole.
Dad issues.
Never goes away.
(laughs) Don't worry about it.
Whoa.
Beautiful.
Gloria wants a check for 10,000.
Richie: Me, too.
Well, it's for the fundraiser.
She wants to hold it up, flap it around.
Doesn't her husband have a checking account? It's 10,000, not 20 like we agreed.
I don't understand.
What's everybody else gonna be doing at this dinner? Admiring our philanthropy? They see our chunk and then they pony up.
I mean, 10's barely gonna get us the roof.
Wait, who's doing this roof? Michelangelo? Look, we agreed to 20.
I'm asking you for half.
Can you just cut the goddamn check? You know what? Why don't we get somebody to play at the thing? Free entertainment.
Somebody like Dr.
Hook.
Somebody good.
Are you fucking kidding me? Dev, I told you.
It's a temporary belt tightening.
- "Nothing's gonna change, Dev.
" - Hey, let me ask you something.
When's the last time you went hungry in this house? Huh? Or the last time the electric bill wasn't paid? Or the housekeeper.
You know damn well this has nothing to do with basic necessities.
Right, it's got to do with your precious dance troupe.
They are not a troupe, okay? The Girl Scouts are a troop.
This is a group of world-renowned artists who escaped the goddamn Iron Curtain because I promised them sponsorship.
- Which now apparently was a lie.
- Please.
Give me a break.
Don't give me that oppressed artist shit, okay? They were a bunch of prima goddamn ballerinas in whatever Slovakatinia they come from.
Well, now they're gonna be living in our basement.
Good thing they don't eat much, dancers.
Get out of my fucking bedroom.
What? This is what I had.
This is what you threw me like a child.
Go play with the dance troupe, Dev.
They need your brilliant fucking strategizing.
You know, it'll be great for you.
Get you out of the house.
- And it did.
- The strategy is fundraising, Richie.
- That is the strategy.
- Jenna: Mommy.
Very nice.
Good job.
Come on, honey.
Back to bed.
(music playing) Ow, candy everywhere Got chocolate in my hair - Can you even see it? - Not really.
Oh, nothing like the last whiskey of the night, huh? Except the first beer of the day.
(chuckles) Oh.
(chuckles) Boys are gonna be upset.
- They'll get over it.
- It's easy for you to say.
You don't have to tell them and then be onstage with them for two hours.
I'll tell them.
You know, you don't even have to be in the building.
Plus I can get every one of them solo albums.
You know, I'll call my friend at Atlantic.
That way, they're not pissed.
They're delighted.
- You can do that? - Yeah.
For Alice Cooper, are you kidding me? Of course I whoa.
Um, what is she You're a real visionary, man.
I mean it.
Where have you been the last seven years? (laughs) I don't know.
Uh, she's starting to squeeze.
Yeah, she loves it out here.
She spends half her life in a bag backstage.
Check it out, Norm.
Eva likes him.
- Eva? - Yeah, Eva Marie Snake.
That's I get that.
It's funny.
Whoa, whoa, relax, man.
She smells fear.
We'll have a hard time prying her loose.
Norm had to hack the last one off me with an army knife.
I'm taking a mulligan.
Yeah.
Hold that.
- Yeah, I got it.
- Thank you.
Well I can't quit you, baby But I've got to put you down a while Well, you know I can't quit you, babe (latches click) (strums) (tuning) I can't quit you, baby But I got to put you down for a while Well, you know I can't quit you, baby But I got to put you down for a while Well, you messed up my happy home, babe And made me mistreat my only child Know you did Yes, you know I love you, baby My love for you will never die Oh, you know I love you, baby My love for you I never hide Yes, you know I love you, baby, yeah Well, you cast my heart aside Why? Oh, I'm so sad I could cry Ooh, I could just lay down and die Well, you know you're my only darling You know you're my desire.
(opera playing) (dog barking) (footsteps) Woman: Andy is ready to see you now.
(speaking quietly) Devon.
Look at you.
- Your hair.
- Yeah.
- You never call me.
- I know, I'm sorry.
I would call you back.
I miss you, too.
(kisses) Come with me.
Come sit.
You know the drill.
It's like the past, but more like now.
You're in the future.
Look at this new camera.
Everything is now skinnier, including you.
So you're married now.
- (exhales) - To that music man.
I am.
We have kids.
I saw Ingrid.
She told me.
Is that a painting? Did you paint that? No.
I mean, yes, it's a painting, but I I didn't paint it.
Oh, that's too bad.
You painted it, actually.
It's a silk screen - Oh.
- of me.
Oh.
Don't you like it anymore? I love it.
You know, it's just it's not signed.
Really? Yeah, I was wondering if maybe you'd sign it for me.
Why would you want me to do that? So that people would know you did it.
Well, you know I did it.
Of course, but it's the signature that gives it value.
Yeah, if you want to sell it.
Do you want to sell it? No, I don't want I don't want to sell it.
- Christie's.
- No.
No, it's for a fundraiser.
I'm helping to build this dance company in Connecticut.
It's do you know Libor Zuska's work? No, he sounds Russian.
He's from Prague.
It's modern dance.
I can't dance at all.
Oh, it's incredible.
You'd love it.
It's so raw and aggressive.
We're trying to build the space for them and (voice breaks) out where I live now.
Well, I can get a brush and sign it.
I mean, that way they'll buy it.
Okay.
Um, you want me to sign your dress? - They'll buy that, too.
- (laughs) Thank you, Andy.
(music playing) Ah-oh, smokestack lightning Shining just like gold Why don't you hear me crying? A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo A-whoo Well, tell me, baby What's the matter with you? Why don't you hear my crying? A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo (playing harmonica) (knocks) Maury Gold and some other gentlemen here to see you.
Now? They just showed up.
Fuck.
Julie.
Fucking Clark called.
He might be signing Alice Cooper.
- Clark? - As a solo act.
If that little twat signs Alice Cooper, I'm gonna kill myself.
Get in there.
Christ.
The man with the golden ear.
Maury.
Mr.
Galasso.
What a nice surprise.
You want Could you not? Get you a drink? - Galasso: I'm good.
- A little schnapps, please.
Settle my stomach.
- Just a little.
- (exhales) Jesus Christ, it's not even lunchtime.
I feel a little odd.
Some fucking racket you got.
You want to go downtown for some Chink later? Maury: Sure, yeah, I could go for that.
- Thank you.
- All right.
So to what do I owe this pleasure? Well, Corrado just wanted to touch base about this little visit that you had.
From the cop.
What was his name? - Uh, Voehel.
- Jawohl.
(laughs) You know, "Hogan's Heroes.
" This is funny to you? You know I would never say anything, right? I mean, look, I don't even know, all right? This is not what this is about.
I'd actually like to know what he said.
Nothing, really.
You know? He asked me if I knew you and whether or not I knew if you knew Maury.
Then he asked me about Jimmy Porter.
- And he played dumb.
- Not a stretch, believe me.
- (laughs) Hey, kid.
- He was fishing, you know.
It was a short conversation once he realized that I was a dead end.
- You're sure? - I am positive.
Richie, you're a stand-up guy.
I'm glad we talked.
Thanks, Mr.
Galasso.
Me, too.
So, Maury tells me you're going through some tough times.
No.
No, everything's great.
You were gonna sell the company.
Yeah, but then what, right? Play tennis? Work's what keeps you young.
That's why he looks like my grandfather.
- (laughs) - Look, you a little short on cash, a bridge loan, you let me know.
I'm always happy to help out a friend.
That just means the world to me, Mr.
Galasso.
Thank you and, believe me, I will keep it in mind.
You have a friend here.
- (music playing) - (siren wailing) Hey, move.
Get them out of here.
Ooh.
Watch your step over there.
I love the dead Before they're cold Their bluing flesh for me to hold Cadaver eyes upon me see Nothing.
Hey.
- (music stops) - Hey, Clark.
Higher.
- What? - The platform's too low.
Can't we see what it looks like before we start building? - Man: Whoa! Gotcha! - Whoa! Yeah, you're right.
Needs to be higher.
How many melons must give their lives to satisfy your ego? (laughs) Hey, guys, say hi to Clark.
- You write for "Creem"? - Me, no.
I'm A&R, American Century.
- What, are we leaving Warners? - What do you mean we, kemosabe? He's trying to sign me.
Dag, I was supposed to let you tell them.
- Really? - Oh, no, I have a friend at Atlantic What was it you said? Oh, yeah.
I'm Alice.
You guys are just a bunch of shmucks who stand behind Alice.
Right, wasn't right? I never said shmucks.
- All set over here.
- What do you think, boys? Should we spare the watermelon? Dennis: What's one less A&R asshole? - Three, four - (music playing) Guys, I'm just trying to do my job.
My boss is interested in signing some more acts and I thought okay, whoa.
Hey, hey.
Hey, Alice? Please stop.
No, no, no, no, no! No, Alice, no! - (groans) - Seven years.
That's how long it took Alice Cooper the band to catch on.
I know, man, and I'd never do anything to For years we couldn't book a gig.
The whole band sharing one crappy hotel room.
Shep was scrambling trying to get us a record deal, but it was tough.
No, I know.
But one night we're playing some dump in Portland and he somehow manages to score us a meeting with Richie Finestra.
The only thing is we have to get ourselves there within 12 hours.
So the second we get offstage, we pool our money and race to the airport, you know? We fly all night to make the meeting.
All day we sat there.
(chuckles) All day.
And guess who never showed.
Richie.
First it was a meeting across town.
Then it was a family emergency.
You know? And we never got so much as an apology.
Alice Vince, first of all, I'm sorry.
And secondly, I'm not Richie Finestra.
That's right.
And I'm gonna make sure you never will be.
Randi.
(whimpering) Wait, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! (Clark gasping) (screaming) Give my best to your boss.
(screams) (laughing, cheering) (Clark gasping) (whimpering) Libor: It's his signature, yes? Yes.
And apparently something similar sold at Christie's for nearly $22,000.
- What? - That's fantastic.
It'll cover most of the construction.
Of course we'll owe it all to Devon.
My angel from heaven.
Gloria: Talk to me about the floor.
- Sprung floor, yes? - Very expensive.
Without, will cripple the dancers.
All right.
You find another 10.
I'll find 10.
That'll get us the whole way there.
- Thousand? - Not hundred.
It's just that the painting You go back to Warhol, yes? See if woman in painting will do another portrait.
Gloria: Then we get the buyer to take both.
Warhol's diptychs are always the same image.
He only changes the color.
How do you know so much? You know that's actually Devon in the portrait? (Libor laughs) I have to go check on the flowers.
(music playing) When I need some attention I stand up and I smile When I need some affection I walk that lonely mile Who's the nutter in the figure skating costume? It's Jeff Starship.
It's my life to live and be free He should board a bloody starship.
At least he's not afraid to be who he is.
Are you pleased with who you are, Jamie Vine? Richie, this is Kip Stevens.
You guys ready? Sure.
Next time bring some blow for me, yeah? You don't need it.
- Thank you.
We're Sniper.
- (cheering) Good luck.
Kip: Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
We're the Nasty Bits.
(light applause) - (drumsticks tapping) - Man: One, two, three, four.
(music playing) I'm not content to be with you In the daytime Girl, I want to be with you All of the time The only time I feel all right What do you think? They sound like the Shangri-Las.
The harmonies, right? Yeah, they're pretty good.
Good? They're fucking oatmeal.
What the fuck happened to the band I heard? We polished them up a little.
Yeah, and you rubbed away everything that was interesting about them.
- It wasn't gelling, Richie.
- They were raw, man, alive.
That fucking demo.
Fuck were you thinking? I got to be honest.
I didn't hear it.
It's my fault, Richie.
I'm sorry.
I kept insisting they needed to soften their sound if they want radio play.
- You taking orders from her now? - No.
There are 200 bands within a five-mile radius of this place sound exactly like these fucking clowns.
You fucked up! Girl, I want to be with you All day and all of the night All day and all of the night - Thank you.
- Kip: Oh, come on.
Out of the way! Hey, play the Tomb song.
What the fuck are you doing? This is my stage.
Fucking play it! - Fuck! - Man: Get out of here.
(music stops) - (drumsticks tapping) - Man: One, two, three, go.
(music playing) - Oh, yeah! - All right! (crowd cheering) I don't need none of your prison bruised sweet box I don't need none of your truth, people shit talk Write on your face with my pretty knife I want to toy with your precious life I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is You're back.
So are your boys.
I don't need none of your tender back seat love I don't need none of your two-bit machine love Write on your face with my pretty knife Gonna toy with your pretty smile I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is Soon as they're done with their set, I want you to buy them a round of drinks and tell them we're signing them.
Really? Hey, that's great, man.
That's great.
What the fuck just happened? I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is.
(cheering) Fuck.
(phone ringing) Where are you? - Joe: What? - Who's this? Corso.
Hey.
I was just about to listen to the tape.
Fuck that.
That ain't why I'm calling.
They found him.
Buck.
Some kids playing in the lot.
- What? - Relax.
It'll be fine.
I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Call me, okay? Yeah, right, sure.
For what? The fucking tape I gave you.
(music playing) People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one And we've just begun I think I'm gonna have a son He will be like him and me As free as a dove Conceived in love The sun is gonna shine above And even though we ain't got money I'm so in love with you, honey And everything will bring a chain of love And in the morning when I rise You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me Everything's gonna be all right Love a guy who holds the world in a paper cup Drink it up Love him and he'll bring you luck And if you find he helps your mind Better take him home Don't you live alone Try to earn what lovers own And even though we ain't got money I'm so in love with you, honey Everything will bring a chain of love In the morning when I rise You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me Everything's gonna be all right.
Baby, I want to be with you Oh, yeah, I want to be with you - Well, tonight - Tonight Tonight We always knew it would feel so right So come on, baby Gonna say hi to Maury.
How are you? I want to be with you so bad Oh, baby, I want to be with you Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah.
(applause) Okay, all right, enough.
It's Andy Cohen's act.
It can't be that good.
No offense, fellas, okay? But the guy's a hash slinger.
He'll sign anybody.
Actually, you know what? I'll sign anybody.
Jackie Jervis, Koronet Records.
I'll give you my card.
What are they doing with Andy? They afraid of money? So I get a call.
I get a call they're giving a lifetime achievement award to Maury Gold.
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.
Jackie: That's why we're here.
And they ask me will I do the honors? All the pioneers in the record business will be there.
Pioneers.
Wow.
Pioneers? Daniel Boone, Lewis and Clark those are pioneers, okay? The putzes in this room, you putzes, I guarantee you not one of you has been west of 10th Avenue.
- (laughing) - Woman: Oh, that was cruel.
So where do they sit me? They sit me next to Wexler over here who's been in my ear all night telling me how he's recorded every schvartze since Booker T.
Washington.
And speaking of schvartzes, Berry Gordy's here.
There he is.
I know a lot of you thought he was a waiter, but, no, it's not.
It's him.
So who else? Oh, we got Neil Bogart here.
How are you doing, Neil? Just started his new label.
Casablanca.
You know, actually, I wasn't sure it was Neil when he walked in.
But then he tipped the valet a gram of coke, and then I knew.
Oh, who else? Who else? Ah, there's Richie Finestra.
- (applause) - Richie.
Richie.
The nicest guy in the record business, okay? He's about to unload I mean, sell his record company to PolyGram.
But what does he do? He walks away from the deal.
He walks away from it.
The Krauts were so dumb, they were actually gonna buy it, but Richie saves them from themselves - for some reason.
- (light chuckles) You'd never see a Jew pull a move like that.
(laughter) You know? Oh, you'd like to buy this box of rocks? Gezunterheit, may it drag your whole company under.
No, but seriously, they asked me to say some nice things about Maury, but honestly, what's the point? I mean, there is no amount of flowery bullshit that I could say that Maury wouldn't say about himself.
So, everybody, Maury.
There he is, stand up.
Make it look real.
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the elder statesmen of the record business, Maury Gold! Give it up.
There he is.
- (music playing) - Thank you.
Ah! (singing in Spanish) (sniffs) - Hey, what the fuck was that about? - What? Jackie Jervis.
- It was a bit.
Forget it.
- So it's not true? - Mr.
and Mrs.
Finestra.
- Hey.
- (camera clicks) - Do you mind? Did you or did you not sell the company? Babe, what are you worried about? Everything's gonna be fine.
- Nothing's gonna change.
- Nothing's gonna change? Millions of dollars isn't gonna change anything? Can we not talk about this right now? Oh, look at those flaring nostrils.
Call Marlin Perkins.
It's something out of "Wild Kingdom.
" Where'd you get that shit about my company? Okay, well, that answers that.
I guess it's true.
You know my PR chick Andrea Zito? You know I do.
You didn't answer my question.
I heard it from my nail girl Eva Braun.
Watch yourself, sweetie, okay, before I What, spank me? Threaten me again, I'll tear one of your nuts off.
How great is she? I love you people.
Jackie just signed Dusty Springfield.
Yeah, she said she loved working with you, but now that PolyGram is out, she can't spend another year watching you flush her career down the toilet.
- Watch your step, Jackie.
- Oh.
Hannibal wants to have lunch with me, Richie.
(toilet flushes) Fucking Jervis your idea? You couldn't get Henny Youngman? Which part of any of this you think was my idea? (sniffs) Now, listen to me.
Detective came to see me.
Asking me questions about you and Jimmy Porter.
- Fucking hell.
- I told him I hardly knew him, but then he mentioned Galasso.
Look, I think he's fishing.
I don't think he has anything.
Yeah, yeah, they fish all the time.
What the fuck happened with the Krauts? Change of plans.
I'm not selling.
I'm going in a new direction musically.
Those assholes out there, they don't give a shit about music.
That's why they make money.
I don't know why I bother with you.
Hey, remember Lester Grimes? Little Jimmy Little.
I remember the ones that had hits.
He had a couple blues tracks we never broke.
I went to see him.
Oh, instead of selling your company, you're scoring junk from some shine you couldn't break in 1952.
- To say hello.
- Do yourself a favor, kid.
Say hello to a headshrinker.
Richie: How long you been living up here? Lester: A while now.
Richie: Still married? I married a great girl.
Met her in the Village.
Two kids.
House in Connecticut.
You know, fresh air.
What are you doing for work these days? I'm the super here.
A building this size? Big responsibility, no? Fuse boxes, radiators, the interaction.
Mostly I unclog people's toilets.
Keeps me grounded.
Well you seem good.
You always had that look in your eye.
Like you knew something about the world that other people didn't.
You're talking about me in the past tense.
Look, I didn't know what to expect coming here.
I mean, when I saw you the other night, you seemed different.
Well, you just said I seemed good.
You do, okay? You do.
Just I guess time changes people, right? People change themselves or they don't.
Willingness is the key.
You still playing guitar? I manage a few bands.
Local stuff.
Hire out DJs at parties.
Keep my toe in the water.
Cool.
Well, maybe you and I Why did you come here, Richie? Okay.
You remember those sessions we did after the Little Jimmy stuff? We recorded a bunch of your originals.
"My Heart's On Ice.
" "Walk With These Lonely Bones.
" These are the tapes.
They sound fucking great, Lester.
Even after all this time.
I was thinking we could sweeten them up.
A horn, some drums, nothing heavy.
Just you and your voice.
Release it as an album.
"Lester Grimes Sings the Blues.
" Or we or we don't change anything.
Pure like Lightnin' Hopkins.
Then what? We follow it up with a low-down and dirty pity album? Croaking lyrics over a guitar like some old wino with a rotten throat? I'm offering you an opportunity.
I lost my voice because of you.
- Lester, come on.
- My mother died three years back.
I couldn't even sing at her funeral.
And that's a goddamn tragedy, but I'm not the one that told Corrado Galasso to shove his money up his ass.
Man, you act like it was me.
I told you that we both had to play ball.
Fuck you, what you told me! You told me bullshit then, you're telling me more of it now.
- It's not bullshit.
- It's bullshit, Richie! (distant baby crying) At least tell me you'll think about it.
You turn your ass around and you walk through that door and don't you ever come back here, so help me God.
(music playing) (birds cawing) If it rains, we move the fundraiser in here? How exactly will that work? Well, it'll give everyone a visceral understanding of why we need a roof.
Never mind a floor and new walls.
If it rains, the dancers perform on this side and we hope the rest of the roof does not collapse.
You said it was a modest dance company.
I can't ever thank you.
- How will I? - Thank me when we get the money.
And this one says we may have enough for an entire renovation after dinner.
I want you to have realistic expectations.
You need to learn her name and stop treating her like the maid.
Gloria runs the board because she knows the people who are going to make this happen.
Paul Newman lives half a mile from here.
Gloria knew that.
I just knew this was a barn with no one in it.
(scoffs) Face like a crow.
We're going to need another table.
We can't fit 60 people at six tables if they're all in a line.
Makes it feel more intimate.
Like Libor's made everyone dinner.
Sweetheart, if you're making us all dinner, why am I paying a caterer? Without you, I have only dreams.
Is he completely full of shit or is it just that accent? - (laughs) - Libor: For this, she must be punished.
Oh! (laughs) We're gonna need another table.
(elevator bell dings) That reporter from "Rock Scene" called again.
Elisa Fooner.
What else? Walter Yetnikoff says you owe him lunch.
And Joe Corso.
Did he leave a message? He says it was a matter of mutual interest.
(laughing) Pop your head in if he calls again.
You have that meeting with Zak.
I'm gonna need a minute.
You can never keep me So you better use me while you can I'm gonna rock and roll you, baby Roll you till the break of dawn - Whoo! - (snorting) Yeah - Julie: Donny Osmond.
- Richie: Keep him.
- Pagoda.
- Sayonara.
- Lobo.
- Cut him.
- Terry Jacks.
- Scott: Who? - Exactly.
- Skip: Lot of Ks and Ws, but no sales.
Cut him.
Dr.
Hook stays, obviously.
Thin Lizzy.
Hannibal.
- Status Quo? - Gone.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
"Pictures of Matchstick Men" topped the charts.
Back when you were wearing your Nehru jacket.
Anybody else object to dropping Status Quo? - I said fucking cut them! - I thought we were voting.
Whether to keep us in the dark ages? Guys, I'm trying to bring us into the future.
Okay, that's great, Captain Video, but while you're over there in the future, I'm here in the present trying to keep the fucking lights on.
Okay, so do Status Quo make any money? - Not really.
- Well, then, fuck 'em.
Guys, we cut deadwood, okay? Then we got money to bring in new acts so we can promote the shit out of them like you keep telling me you want to do, but, poor you, I never give you the firepower.
Right, right, 'cause it's all about you making my dreams come true.
- Yeah, right.
Who's next? - The album? - On your list.
- Grand Funk.
- Got to keep Grand Funk.
- How are their numbers? - Skip: Decent.
- They're selling out stadiums.
- How's the catalog doing? - Well, good.
We've moving some units on the touring.
Six months left on their contract.
We run the clock out on them, then we decide.
Okay, Johnny Winter.
Sales are steady.
Album's holding in the 40s.
He's an albino.
- Johnny Winter.
- Zak: Keep him.
Fuck's that got to do with anything? Savoy Brown.
Has "Jack the Toad" cracked 100? - It's in the 80s with an anchor.
- (blows raspberry) Cut 'em.
Done.
Next.
- Indigo.
- Who's that, a stripper? No, they're a band.
They do dance music.
They're in the studio now.
They're finishing an album for us.
- I'm hearing good things.
- Then let's see what we get.
Zak, Heather's got your accountant on the phone.
He said you left a bunch of messages, so we should interrupt you.
I'll call him back.
Don't let me stop you.
Well, I got no fucking money left, so what's to talk about? Where are we? We trimmed 70% of our roster, give or take.
- That's big savings.
- Zak: It's not cash.
- We need to generate cash.
- For all the lights and all that.
Or maybe a little extra so I can take my girlfriend to Gray's Papaya.
Jesus Christ, when the fuck did you guys become a bunch of crybabies? Since you stuck it up our asses, Richie.
Maybe you were prepared not to sell, but we fucking weren't.
You want me to buy you out? Fine.
Yeah, now that the valuation of this company is dog shit.
Scott: It's negative dog shit.
We actually owe you money.
All right.
Let's get one of our artists to record a Christmas album.
Even the shitty ones sell.
Jackson 5 and that fucking "Mommy's Making Out With Santa Claus.
" How many weeks did that thing hang out in the top five? Yeah, it's like printing money, man.
- It's August already, Richie.
- So rush it.
Fucking songs are written already.
It would keep some cash flowing.
Robert Goulet in red tights, Santa hat, fucking elves with tambourines.
Skip: Chicks love Robert Goulet.
And that other guy.
What's that other guy's name? The guy with the hairy chest? - "The Long Goodbye" guy.
- That's Elliott Gould.
- He could do a Christmas album.
- He's Jewish.
Sister Mary Melissa could do it.
Not a Jew.
That I know.
Christmas is supposed to be happy, all right? I mean, a nun, too religious.
What are her numbers? "His Heavenly Hands" sold over three million copies.
Three well, get her in the studio.
Record a follow-up.
"His Heavenly Cuticles.
" (laughs) Scott: No, hold up.
Contract's up in October.
Then move it, Momo.
Pick up her option.
And while you're at it, see if she can say a prayer for this fucking company.
(music playing) Party Party Get down, get down Get down, get down Get down, get down Herc.
Herc.
Lester, why don't you tell Clive here to leave the damn records alone? Let the songs play, son.
You got a motherfucking train to catch? (both laugh) Get up, get on up - Get up, get on up - Mm, there you go! There you go! There you go, yeah! Get on up Get up, get on up Get up, get on up Get on the scene, get on up Like a sex machine, get on up - The same old thing - Damn.
- You see that? - Now, why you have to go fuck it up? Fuck this.
See, Lester here, he's a real musician.
You need to learn how to play a piano or a guitar or something.
A kazoo, nigger.
- (laughs) - Leave that boy alone.
You feeling what I'm making, right? I don't know that you're making anything.
Preach.
But I do dig that you're trying.
Hey, why don't you take care of this beer for me? Keep on, Herc.
You've been searching Everywhere For something to believe in You've been searching This soundtrack, why can't they just use the original version? - (music level fades) - Read your own book and you'll know (music level increases) Simone, why do you cry? Forget Simone.
After three days of this, I'm gonna fucking cry.
Don't you know you've got a life? - Dan.
- Now, don't waste it all inside Hey, Dan.
You're eating the mike again.
Aw, man, really? That was a good take, too.
It had a recklessness to it.
- (music stops) - Yeah, wild.
Loved it.
One more just like that with three, maybe four inches - between you and the mike.
- Roger that.
I'm gonna go choke myself on a urinal puck.
See you in a few.
Ugh.
From the top.
- (music playing) - (chatter) (sighs) Holy shit.
Alice Cooper.
What are you doing here? This is a recording studio, isn't it? Right, no, of course.
Hey, man, Clark Morelle, American Century.
- Richie Finestra's outfit.
- Yeah.
I saw you in Rochester, man, start of the tour.
Amazing.
Did it get even better? Well, depends which side of the stage you're on.
- (both laugh) - You know? Five months, 60 some-odd shows, so You guys here recording? No, I'm laying down some vocals for a friend.
You know Todd Rundgren? Yeah, I think I met him once, sure.
Say hi to Richie for me, huh? You know, we'd love to work with you over at American Century if you ever wanted to ahem, wanted to make a move.
We're coming off the number one album in the country.
But that's the band, right? I mean, you ever think about going solo? I mean, come on, you're Alice.
The band's just a bunch of guys standing behind Alice.
Hmm.
How's it going? I have to go, too.
Should I wait till he comes out? - Okay.
- Man: One, two, three.
(playing) I'm not content to be with you - In the daytime - Come on.
Girl, I want to be with you all of the time Jamie: Julie, no.
This isn't working.
- Julie, they don't sound like - What?! All right, oh! Stop.
Whoa.
Take a minute.
Take a minute.
What's your problem? - They don't sound like them.
- Them? Them was an ice pick to the eardrums.
Now they sound like a band a DJ might play on the radio, assuming I promise to blow him while he snorts coke off Raquel Welch's ass.
- Look, I just think that they should - I think, sweetie.
That's what they pay me for, okay? You they pay to rustle up a mushroom knish and a Swiss cheese on rye.
No fucking seeds.
And five baloney sandwiches for the shgatzim.
That was a hint.
You, on lead guitar.
- You're flat.
- I'm not a singer.
I got news for you.
You're not a guitarist either.
And you on bass, when I say harmony, are you hearing that as a spiritual term or do you get that I mean sing the high part? Okay? Let's take it again.
(tapping) (playing) I'm not content to be with you In the daytime Girl, I want to be with you All of the time The only time I feel all right is by your side That's what I'm talking about.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What the hell is this? A discotheque? (music stops) I I thought it would be fine since nobody's gonna be in here till tomorrow.
- We got to go.
- What are you talking about? - Right now.
- I thought you knew the owner.
- You said it would be fine.
- I was wrong.
Come on.
Ma'am, obviously there's just been some sort of misunderstanding, but I'm sure we is she calling the cops? - Yes.
- Jamie: We've got to get out.
I have had a break-in.
Z-Best Restaurant Supply.
- We have to go.
Come on.
- 3101 Bowery.
Corner Spring.
Five hoodlums with guns.
And a blonde prostitute.
- (birds cawing) - (sprinklers hissing) Richie: Why is this up here? Because I didn't want our guests arriving to a five-foot image of my face.
You don't like it there? No, I love it.
I can jerk off to it when you're not home.
(laughs) When am I not home? It's a pretty nice fucking home.
- Mm, I'm just antsy.
- Yeah? - (baby babbling) - Did you replace Andrea yet? - No.
- I'm available.
Don't you think you've got your hands full right now? We've got Estella.
I could work part-time.
We could ride in together.
Babe, you won't get me coffee here.
You're gonna get me coffee at the office? She kept that office running.
She was the woman behind the man.
I would be good at that.
You shouldn't be behind anybody.
Look at that face.
Do something out here.
It's a fucking wasteland.
Start your own theater company.
Your own fucking Warhol Factory.
- (laughs) - Well, why not? Gloria thinks there should be a ballet company out here.
- Oh, yeah? - I hate the ballet.
Get her to do that modern shit you love.
I thought you enjoyed it last time.
Oh, I did.
I loved it.
I mean, the thing with the cow head? Ooh! (laughing) Stop.
(baby crying) I don't want to do anything with Gloria.
She's a bitch.
When are we gonna have another kid? (chuckles) That is incongruent with me starting a revolution in Greenwich.
Yeah, but it gets us another kid.
I'll think about it.
Okay.
That's not helping me think.
- I think it is.
- (Devon laughs) (music playing) Good gosh almighty now Shala-boom-boom, yeah All right, first things first.
From a public relations standpoint, it's critical that not selling the company is perceived as a show of strength.
We at American Century believe in ourselves and our artists.
Right, except that we're dumping 70% of them.
We believe in some of our artists.
Listen to me.
I need you to spin this so that it doesn't look like we're a sinking ship - tossing deadweight overboard.
- Are we? No.
No, we're taking on a little bit of water, that's all.
- Who isn't in this economy? - Did you see Koronet's numbers? They put out a release yesterday.
I hey, fuck 'em, right? Listen to me.
This prick Jackie Jervis is shooting his mouth off.
It's making us look bad.
Okay, how about this? We're trimming the fat, staying lean.
The old roster had no coherence.
It was a cornucopia of disparate sounds.
Okay, cornucopia sounds vaguely good.
Right, I'll come up with something else.
In any case, part two.
I'm starting a sublabel.
- Like Atlanta has Atco.
- Exactly, okay? American Century stays intact, but with a fresh imprint.
In-house.
I need you to come up with a new label, okay? A label that says tomorrow, the future.
Atomic Records.
The future starting today, not 1942.
- Rock-It.
- No.
Not Rocket, but Rock-It.
You get it? Yeah, I do.
Still no.
- (knocks at door) - Hey, Richie.
There's been a lot of rumors about layoffs.
You're a part of this team, Hal.
- Am I? - Hey, an integral part.
- Jesus, all right.
- All right.
- Hey, Kelly just got into Amherst.
- Look at that.
- Yeah.
Blast Off.
- No.
Rethinking.
Hey, Joe.
I heard you called.
Yeah, I figured Angela Davis didn't give you the message.
You know, you're becoming a really hard guy to track down.
I called you several times.
You're becoming like one of those animals that people hunt.
You know, those animals with the antlers.
- A deer? - No, Richie.
A buck.
Yeah, buck, right.
Remember Nora? You met her the other night.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, how are you? Turns out listen.
Turns out she's a singer.
She's got a voice like a gazelle.
Real really? What do you what do you sing? Jazz, blues, nursery rhymes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Forget about nursery rhymes.
She's your next Petula Clark.
Hey, listen.
Consider this as a gift from me to you.
'Cause that's what friends do.
Particularly friends that have a unique shared history together.
Hey, what have you heard about that? What I heard about it? There's nothing to fucking hear.
- He's gone.
He's morto.
You understand? - Okay.
Forget about that, okay? Here's what we're gonna do.
You listen to it, all right, Richie? And then we'll make a record.
I'll promote the shit out of it.
You know what? I'm gonna listen to it.
He's the best.
Hey, put your head up.
Remember what I said.
You've got to project confidence to him.
- Now say thank you.
- Thank you, Mr.
Finestra.
And she can fuck like a dolphin.
(music playing) So we get to the hotel and it's a zoo.
You know, there's a lobby full of girls, kids chasing me for autographs, the whole bit.
I finally make it to the elevator and I look past Norm who was guarding the door and across the way are Glen, Mike, and Neal in another elevator, two guards in front of them, you know, arms folded like storm troopers.
- (laughs) - Except there's no one.
Not a single person is paying them a lick of attention.
And I'm shelling out a fortune to these gorillas to guard these guys from Nothing.
Phantoms.
- Hey, Alice.
- I mean, it's hi.
It's wasteful, man.
You know? Alice may be all about excess, but me, Vince, I'm from Phoenix.
I went to school with Indian kids couldn't afford pants.
Yeah, see, this kind of shit would never go down if you were with me.
You'd have fired those bodyguards? No, no, no, I'd keep them, but I'd also hire a bunch of chicks to rush your boys so you don't have an ego problem to deal with.
Last thing you need is that shit following you onstage.
- That's genius.
- Let me get with Richie.
We'll come up with a whole plan.
I don't want you worrying about anything.
- Na zdorovie, man.
- Na yep, okay.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Bottoms up or it's bad luck.
Oh, right.
Third one on the match dies, huh? Mm-hmm.
- (laughing) - I don't know why I threw it.
Wait, so why isn't Shemp dealing with this shit? - I mean, isn't he your manager? - Shep.
Got it.
I love the guy, but honestly he's part of the problem.
You know? He's the one who doesn't want the guys at the press conference.
But then I have to deal with the fallout.
That's all the more reason you need to be on your own.
Can you imagine if I didn't have to take a dump when you were in that hallway? Oh, my God.
Here's Johnny.
- Motherfucker.
- How are you? Thought you were on tour.
No, man, going out again for Christmas.
Hey, you know Clark? Johnny Thunders, meet Clark some-or-such.
Hey, I heard you sold out the Whiskey in like six hours.
You think I give a shit about the fucking box office? - N-no.
- Hey, don't be a fucking asshole.
Dad issues.
Never goes away.
(laughs) Don't worry about it.
Whoa.
Beautiful.
Gloria wants a check for 10,000.
Richie: Me, too.
Well, it's for the fundraiser.
She wants to hold it up, flap it around.
Doesn't her husband have a checking account? It's 10,000, not 20 like we agreed.
I don't understand.
What's everybody else gonna be doing at this dinner? Admiring our philanthropy? They see our chunk and then they pony up.
I mean, 10's barely gonna get us the roof.
Wait, who's doing this roof? Michelangelo? Look, we agreed to 20.
I'm asking you for half.
Can you just cut the goddamn check? You know what? Why don't we get somebody to play at the thing? Free entertainment.
Somebody like Dr.
Hook.
Somebody good.
Are you fucking kidding me? Dev, I told you.
It's a temporary belt tightening.
- "Nothing's gonna change, Dev.
" - Hey, let me ask you something.
When's the last time you went hungry in this house? Huh? Or the last time the electric bill wasn't paid? Or the housekeeper.
You know damn well this has nothing to do with basic necessities.
Right, it's got to do with your precious dance troupe.
They are not a troupe, okay? The Girl Scouts are a troop.
This is a group of world-renowned artists who escaped the goddamn Iron Curtain because I promised them sponsorship.
- Which now apparently was a lie.
- Please.
Give me a break.
Don't give me that oppressed artist shit, okay? They were a bunch of prima goddamn ballerinas in whatever Slovakatinia they come from.
Well, now they're gonna be living in our basement.
Good thing they don't eat much, dancers.
Get out of my fucking bedroom.
What? This is what I had.
This is what you threw me like a child.
Go play with the dance troupe, Dev.
They need your brilliant fucking strategizing.
You know, it'll be great for you.
Get you out of the house.
- And it did.
- The strategy is fundraising, Richie.
- That is the strategy.
- Jenna: Mommy.
Very nice.
Good job.
Come on, honey.
Back to bed.
(music playing) Ow, candy everywhere Got chocolate in my hair - Can you even see it? - Not really.
Oh, nothing like the last whiskey of the night, huh? Except the first beer of the day.
(chuckles) Oh.
(chuckles) Boys are gonna be upset.
- They'll get over it.
- It's easy for you to say.
You don't have to tell them and then be onstage with them for two hours.
I'll tell them.
You know, you don't even have to be in the building.
Plus I can get every one of them solo albums.
You know, I'll call my friend at Atlantic.
That way, they're not pissed.
They're delighted.
- You can do that? - Yeah.
For Alice Cooper, are you kidding me? Of course I whoa.
Um, what is she You're a real visionary, man.
I mean it.
Where have you been the last seven years? (laughs) I don't know.
Uh, she's starting to squeeze.
Yeah, she loves it out here.
She spends half her life in a bag backstage.
Check it out, Norm.
Eva likes him.
- Eva? - Yeah, Eva Marie Snake.
That's I get that.
It's funny.
Whoa, whoa, relax, man.
She smells fear.
We'll have a hard time prying her loose.
Norm had to hack the last one off me with an army knife.
I'm taking a mulligan.
Yeah.
Hold that.
- Yeah, I got it.
- Thank you.
Well I can't quit you, baby But I've got to put you down a while Well, you know I can't quit you, babe (latches click) (strums) (tuning) I can't quit you, baby But I got to put you down for a while Well, you know I can't quit you, baby But I got to put you down for a while Well, you messed up my happy home, babe And made me mistreat my only child Know you did Yes, you know I love you, baby My love for you will never die Oh, you know I love you, baby My love for you I never hide Yes, you know I love you, baby, yeah Well, you cast my heart aside Why? Oh, I'm so sad I could cry Ooh, I could just lay down and die Well, you know you're my only darling You know you're my desire.
(opera playing) (dog barking) (footsteps) Woman: Andy is ready to see you now.
(speaking quietly) Devon.
Look at you.
- Your hair.
- Yeah.
- You never call me.
- I know, I'm sorry.
I would call you back.
I miss you, too.
(kisses) Come with me.
Come sit.
You know the drill.
It's like the past, but more like now.
You're in the future.
Look at this new camera.
Everything is now skinnier, including you.
So you're married now.
- (exhales) - To that music man.
I am.
We have kids.
I saw Ingrid.
She told me.
Is that a painting? Did you paint that? No.
I mean, yes, it's a painting, but I I didn't paint it.
Oh, that's too bad.
You painted it, actually.
It's a silk screen - Oh.
- of me.
Oh.
Don't you like it anymore? I love it.
You know, it's just it's not signed.
Really? Yeah, I was wondering if maybe you'd sign it for me.
Why would you want me to do that? So that people would know you did it.
Well, you know I did it.
Of course, but it's the signature that gives it value.
Yeah, if you want to sell it.
Do you want to sell it? No, I don't want I don't want to sell it.
- Christie's.
- No.
No, it's for a fundraiser.
I'm helping to build this dance company in Connecticut.
It's do you know Libor Zuska's work? No, he sounds Russian.
He's from Prague.
It's modern dance.
I can't dance at all.
Oh, it's incredible.
You'd love it.
It's so raw and aggressive.
We're trying to build the space for them and (voice breaks) out where I live now.
Well, I can get a brush and sign it.
I mean, that way they'll buy it.
Okay.
Um, you want me to sign your dress? - They'll buy that, too.
- (laughs) Thank you, Andy.
(music playing) Ah-oh, smokestack lightning Shining just like gold Why don't you hear me crying? A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo A-whoo Well, tell me, baby What's the matter with you? Why don't you hear my crying? A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo A-whoo-hoo (playing harmonica) (knocks) Maury Gold and some other gentlemen here to see you.
Now? They just showed up.
Fuck.
Julie.
Fucking Clark called.
He might be signing Alice Cooper.
- Clark? - As a solo act.
If that little twat signs Alice Cooper, I'm gonna kill myself.
Get in there.
Christ.
The man with the golden ear.
Maury.
Mr.
Galasso.
What a nice surprise.
You want Could you not? Get you a drink? - Galasso: I'm good.
- A little schnapps, please.
Settle my stomach.
- Just a little.
- (exhales) Jesus Christ, it's not even lunchtime.
I feel a little odd.
Some fucking racket you got.
You want to go downtown for some Chink later? Maury: Sure, yeah, I could go for that.
- Thank you.
- All right.
So to what do I owe this pleasure? Well, Corrado just wanted to touch base about this little visit that you had.
From the cop.
What was his name? - Uh, Voehel.
- Jawohl.
(laughs) You know, "Hogan's Heroes.
" This is funny to you? You know I would never say anything, right? I mean, look, I don't even know, all right? This is not what this is about.
I'd actually like to know what he said.
Nothing, really.
You know? He asked me if I knew you and whether or not I knew if you knew Maury.
Then he asked me about Jimmy Porter.
- And he played dumb.
- Not a stretch, believe me.
- (laughs) Hey, kid.
- He was fishing, you know.
It was a short conversation once he realized that I was a dead end.
- You're sure? - I am positive.
Richie, you're a stand-up guy.
I'm glad we talked.
Thanks, Mr.
Galasso.
Me, too.
So, Maury tells me you're going through some tough times.
No.
No, everything's great.
You were gonna sell the company.
Yeah, but then what, right? Play tennis? Work's what keeps you young.
That's why he looks like my grandfather.
- (laughs) - Look, you a little short on cash, a bridge loan, you let me know.
I'm always happy to help out a friend.
That just means the world to me, Mr.
Galasso.
Thank you and, believe me, I will keep it in mind.
You have a friend here.
- (music playing) - (siren wailing) Hey, move.
Get them out of here.
Ooh.
Watch your step over there.
I love the dead Before they're cold Their bluing flesh for me to hold Cadaver eyes upon me see Nothing.
Hey.
- (music stops) - Hey, Clark.
Higher.
- What? - The platform's too low.
Can't we see what it looks like before we start building? - Man: Whoa! Gotcha! - Whoa! Yeah, you're right.
Needs to be higher.
How many melons must give their lives to satisfy your ego? (laughs) Hey, guys, say hi to Clark.
- You write for "Creem"? - Me, no.
I'm A&R, American Century.
- What, are we leaving Warners? - What do you mean we, kemosabe? He's trying to sign me.
Dag, I was supposed to let you tell them.
- Really? - Oh, no, I have a friend at Atlantic What was it you said? Oh, yeah.
I'm Alice.
You guys are just a bunch of shmucks who stand behind Alice.
Right, wasn't right? I never said shmucks.
- All set over here.
- What do you think, boys? Should we spare the watermelon? Dennis: What's one less A&R asshole? - Three, four - (music playing) Guys, I'm just trying to do my job.
My boss is interested in signing some more acts and I thought okay, whoa.
Hey, hey.
Hey, Alice? Please stop.
No, no, no, no, no! No, Alice, no! - (groans) - Seven years.
That's how long it took Alice Cooper the band to catch on.
I know, man, and I'd never do anything to For years we couldn't book a gig.
The whole band sharing one crappy hotel room.
Shep was scrambling trying to get us a record deal, but it was tough.
No, I know.
But one night we're playing some dump in Portland and he somehow manages to score us a meeting with Richie Finestra.
The only thing is we have to get ourselves there within 12 hours.
So the second we get offstage, we pool our money and race to the airport, you know? We fly all night to make the meeting.
All day we sat there.
(chuckles) All day.
And guess who never showed.
Richie.
First it was a meeting across town.
Then it was a family emergency.
You know? And we never got so much as an apology.
Alice Vince, first of all, I'm sorry.
And secondly, I'm not Richie Finestra.
That's right.
And I'm gonna make sure you never will be.
Randi.
(whimpering) Wait, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! (Clark gasping) (screaming) Give my best to your boss.
(screams) (laughing, cheering) (Clark gasping) (whimpering) Libor: It's his signature, yes? Yes.
And apparently something similar sold at Christie's for nearly $22,000.
- What? - That's fantastic.
It'll cover most of the construction.
Of course we'll owe it all to Devon.
My angel from heaven.
Gloria: Talk to me about the floor.
- Sprung floor, yes? - Very expensive.
Without, will cripple the dancers.
All right.
You find another 10.
I'll find 10.
That'll get us the whole way there.
- Thousand? - Not hundred.
It's just that the painting You go back to Warhol, yes? See if woman in painting will do another portrait.
Gloria: Then we get the buyer to take both.
Warhol's diptychs are always the same image.
He only changes the color.
How do you know so much? You know that's actually Devon in the portrait? (Libor laughs) I have to go check on the flowers.
(music playing) When I need some attention I stand up and I smile When I need some affection I walk that lonely mile Who's the nutter in the figure skating costume? It's Jeff Starship.
It's my life to live and be free He should board a bloody starship.
At least he's not afraid to be who he is.
Are you pleased with who you are, Jamie Vine? Richie, this is Kip Stevens.
You guys ready? Sure.
Next time bring some blow for me, yeah? You don't need it.
- Thank you.
We're Sniper.
- (cheering) Good luck.
Kip: Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
We're the Nasty Bits.
(light applause) - (drumsticks tapping) - Man: One, two, three, four.
(music playing) I'm not content to be with you In the daytime Girl, I want to be with you All of the time The only time I feel all right What do you think? They sound like the Shangri-Las.
The harmonies, right? Yeah, they're pretty good.
Good? They're fucking oatmeal.
What the fuck happened to the band I heard? We polished them up a little.
Yeah, and you rubbed away everything that was interesting about them.
- It wasn't gelling, Richie.
- They were raw, man, alive.
That fucking demo.
Fuck were you thinking? I got to be honest.
I didn't hear it.
It's my fault, Richie.
I'm sorry.
I kept insisting they needed to soften their sound if they want radio play.
- You taking orders from her now? - No.
There are 200 bands within a five-mile radius of this place sound exactly like these fucking clowns.
You fucked up! Girl, I want to be with you All day and all of the night All day and all of the night - Thank you.
- Kip: Oh, come on.
Out of the way! Hey, play the Tomb song.
What the fuck are you doing? This is my stage.
Fucking play it! - Fuck! - Man: Get out of here.
(music stops) - (drumsticks tapping) - Man: One, two, three, go.
(music playing) - Oh, yeah! - All right! (crowd cheering) I don't need none of your prison bruised sweet box I don't need none of your truth, people shit talk Write on your face with my pretty knife I want to toy with your precious life I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is You're back.
So are your boys.
I don't need none of your tender back seat love I don't need none of your two-bit machine love Write on your face with my pretty knife Gonna toy with your pretty smile I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is Soon as they're done with their set, I want you to buy them a round of drinks and tell them we're signing them.
Really? Hey, that's great, man.
That's great.
What the fuck just happened? I want you to know I want you to know I want you to know what love is.
(cheering) Fuck.
(phone ringing) Where are you? - Joe: What? - Who's this? Corso.
Hey.
I was just about to listen to the tape.
Fuck that.
That ain't why I'm calling.
They found him.
Buck.
Some kids playing in the lot.
- What? - Relax.
It'll be fine.
I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Call me, okay? Yeah, right, sure.
For what? The fucking tape I gave you.
(music playing) People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one And we've just begun I think I'm gonna have a son He will be like him and me As free as a dove Conceived in love The sun is gonna shine above And even though we ain't got money I'm so in love with you, honey And everything will bring a chain of love And in the morning when I rise You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me Everything's gonna be all right Love a guy who holds the world in a paper cup Drink it up Love him and he'll bring you luck And if you find he helps your mind Better take him home Don't you live alone Try to earn what lovers own And even though we ain't got money I'm so in love with you, honey Everything will bring a chain of love In the morning when I rise You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me Everything's gonna be all right.