White Collar s01e03 Episode Script
Book of Hours
Morning, sunshines.
Coffee? What do we got? We got any headlines? They keep bitching about his Bible.
It could be a debt ledger.
Well, it's missing.
And they ain't happy about it.
Hey, guys.
We have a situation.
Is that Barelli? What's he doing down here? I don't know.
But it can't be good.
Paul Ignazio, his nephew.
Turn the mic up.
- You sure about this? - Do it.
Damn.
He's walking over here.
You guys are the FBI, right? We need your help.
Last week somebody walks into my church steals the Bible.
A Bible? An actual Bible? Yeah.
You know, the flood, Abraham sacrifices Isaac.
You heard of it? Why do you want our help? I'm a taxpaying citizen.
So? File a police report.
Come on, Burke.
You got your guys sitting on me.
It's part of the game, I know, but it means that I'm not free to find out who did this.
Yeah, it means you're not free to bust heads until you do.
Do I have to take these accusations? Get to your point.
This Bible it's not just some book that the Gideons leave on the nightstand.
This is five centuries of history from Naples.
The saints prayed over this book.
Your personal feelings for Barelli aside I don't need the archdiocese crawling down our necks because we refused to help recover a medieval Bible.
Fine.
But if Barelli asked for our help, he must really want it back.
Let's get this straight here.
You may go to confession once a week but the bureau doesn't forgive sins.
We don't work for you.
What do you want? Shut down your bookmaking operations at Masso's Club.
Masso's.
It's a restaurant.
See for yourself anytime after Thursday.
Please.
Please help me find my goddamn Bible.
Please stop.
It's part of my process.
Look, either you taught her too well or it's just a bottle.
It's more than that.
This is the only thing Kate left me.
There's a message here.
Hello? Yeah, Peter.
I'll be down in five.
Oh, okay.
I'm coming right now.
Oh, the man interferes yet again.
Can you please--? Yes.
I'll take it back to the lab, run some tests.
You don't have a lab.
You have a storage unit.
Semantics.
Thanks, Moz.
The Bible belongs to the Church of St.
Camillus de Lellis in Naples.
It was brought here in 1903.
Been the heart of our parish.
Now this.
No alarm, no witnesses.
No sign of a forced entry.
It looks like a smash and dash.
Anything unusual that night, Father? No.
Not that I recall.
Have ERT run the prints against the parish roster.
Something tells me we'll get a few matches.
Nobody from this parish stole that Bible.
Oh, sure.
You guys are all choirboys, right, Barelli? No surveillance cameras.
The Lord sees all.
And that's good enough for us.
I'm getting my St.
Whatevers mixed up.
But didn't you used to run a soup kitchen here? Not anymore.
- Who steals a Bible? - People steal everything.
Why would we steal one? In theory? They're rare.
Yeah, it makes them valuable, but not like a Picasso.
It's definitely a niche market.
It's tough to fence.
People get weird about buying stolen religious artifacts.
I think it's an irony thing.
That pesky eighth commandment.
Thou shalt not steal.
It depends what's important to people.
Did you know that an original Star Trek dome lunchbox goes for 600 bucks? I don't try to explain it.
Well, I can appreciate that.
But why this one? Well, you're missing book is famous.
It's known as the Healing Bible.
Really? Attribution.
"In 1588, the plague passed through Naples.
Father Camillus carried the book into disease-stricken ships in the harbor.
Not a single person who touched the Bible died.
" Good story.
Twenty years later a blind girl regained her sight when she rescued the book from a fire.
I could give you many more examples.
No, I'm sure you could.
Look, maybe you don't steal it for the money.
You steal it because you're a true believer.
A true believer? You got something better? Every person in that church has a felony record.
The people I don't suspect are the ones in prison.
So let's start with the faithful.
"It cures blind nuns and lepers.
" It sounds like every story in Sunday school.
Look at this.
In 1918, 30,000 people in New York died from the Spanish flu.
No one in this parish even caught a cold.
Maybe whoever took it thinks it's gonna heal them.
It's worth looking into.
Nobody in this church caught the flu.
It's true.
Why these guys and not the church down the block? Because of a book? Tough to swallow.
I thought you were Catholic.
Lapsed.
Oh, so you don't think some higher power could've saved the congregation? I'm more inclined to think they kept the door shut and loaded up on vitamin C.
Maybe God works with what he's got? And God said, "Shut thine doors and eat thine oranges?" Why not? All right, look, when they dug up King Tut everybody made such a big deal out of the curse of the pharaoh.
People who entered the tomb ended up dead.
Yeah, they probably caught some old bacterial infection.
Germs.
There's your divine intervention.
God can't use bacteria? I prefer my miracles with a little more smiting and lightning.
Can I help you? Thanks for seeing us again, Father.
We wanted to run down one thing.
You didn't tell us your Bible was also known as a healing Bible.
I didn't think it was relevant.
Could be.
Anybody in your church who was a true believer of the healing power of the Bible? Someone who was terminally ill? Someone who had a sick family member? I was afraid this might happen.
What? Mr.
Barelli has discouraged the homeless from the church.
He made you shut down the soup kitchen.
How Christian of him.
The night of the theft, I let a homeless man sleep in the sanctuary.
His name's Steve.
Is he sick? No.
But someone very close to him is.
Steve? Hi.
My name is Peter.
This is my friend Neal.
Hi.
Do you mind if we ask you some questions? The church you stayed in last week, they're missing a Bible.
You know anything about it? Yeah.
I took it.
Great.
We need it back.
No.
No, I need it back.
What do you mean? Where is it? I took it from the church like he asked me to.
He said that he'd show me how to help Lucy get better.
Then he took it from me.
Now, he has not brought it back.
Do you know where he is? No.
I wish I did.
Who asked you to take the Bible from the church? Look, he said that he would help Lucy get better.
She's not getting better.
She's getting worse.
What's wrong with her? She's tired all the time.
She don't eat nothing.
If I get that Bible back, she'll get better.
The man who asked you to take the Bible, did you meet him at the church? Yeah.
Steve, if we showed you some pictures, do you think you could recognize him? We just need to get the Bible back, okay? Because she's fading.
All right? You okay to keep going? What? There's more of them? Yeah.
Let's just get through this one, okay? I'm glad we followed your hunch.
Hope it takes us somewhere.
Oh, ye of little faith.
You've been waiting to trot that one out.
Been holding onto it since lunch.
I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? That bad, huh? Yeah, that bad was about an hour ago.
Just give me the damn thing.
No luck, huh? No.
Not really, no.
Look, I'm-- I'm sorry I'm not more help to you.
My bell got rung pretty good in Fallujah.
You were in Iraq? Yeah.
It's where I found Lucy.
We called in this predator strike on this trigger house.
Two hellfires came in and just destroyed everything.
Then I hear this little whimpering.
So I lift up this piece of roof.
And there she was.
Just wagging her tail.
Well, you think you could look at one more book? The rest of you go over there and make sure N.
Y.
P.
D.
doesn't touch anything.
Let's go get it.
Yes, sir.
What's going on? One of Barelli's men just got shot.
Who? Paul Ignazio.
Barelli's number two.
Barelli's nephew.
That's him.
Who? The guy that asked me to take the Bible.
We can wrap this up with this bunch.
That's our boy.
Close range.
No eyewitnesses.
Body's not waterlogged.
So it's fresh.
.
25 caliber casing.
European gauge.
It's a .
22 caliber.
This is Brooklyn, buddy.
Not Bavaria.
Pete Burke.
This is a homicide, not an art exhibit.
What are you doing here? Ruiz, I see they let you out of your cubicle.
Yeah.
This is my show now.
Where's your pet convict? I left him in the car with the windows cracked.
What are you doing at my crime scene? This tails into my case.
This is mob retaliation.
It's my investigation now.
If you don't believe me, ask Hughes.
Don't start with me.
You've got Ruiz running Organized Crime? That's unbelievable.
We offer you that bump, you turn it down.
This isn't mob on mob.
The Bible's the key to this thing.
All you've got is a guy with a spotty memory who thinks Ignazio may have enticed him into stealing that Bible.
What we've got is a member of the Barelli family probably killed by the Morettis.
All right, fine.
I'll stay out of the active investigation.
Just let me take a look at whatever's on that body.
It's Ruiz's case.
He's not comfortable sharing intel while Caffrey's with you.
Oh, come on.
He's a convicted felon, Peter.
And Ruiz isn't the only one with reservations.
All right.
You have plenty of other cases on your sheet.
Let Organized Crime handle this one.
All right.
We're off the case? We've been asked to step down.
This is a retaliation killing by the other family? I don't think Paul would've met a Moretti alone by this river.
Not with all the bad blood in the water.
Now, if Ruiz is right.
That Moretti killed him? We may be sitting on the edge of a mob war.
So, what do we do? I can't do much of anything.
Ruiz is not willing to share the case file.
So where does that leave us? Like I said, I can't do much of anything.
You know, I'm getting a little chilly by this water.
Aren't you? Can I borrow your jacket? I swear to you, Peter.
Under no circumstances will I impersonate the FBI.
Where do you think you're going? This is Paul Ignazio's apartment, right? Hi, Ted Jefferson from the Evidence Recovery Team.
I don't care if you're Thomas Jefferson.
I need ID.
Oh.
Sorry.
I pulled a double hommie last night.
It's in the van.
My partner took it to see his girlfriend in Queens.
Not my problem, brother.
Look, I just need a urine swab from the vic's toilet.
If I don't get it soon, it'll spike the cross-reactivity and then-- I got orders too, pal.
No ID, no pee.
Oh, I know.
You can get it.
It's easy.
All you gotta do is swab around the rim of the toilet.
Then drop the swab into the tube, screw the cap on the tube.
And bam, we're good to go.
No way.
I'm not doing that.
Okay.
Now it's your problem.
Yeah, cap.
I got a local hero by the name of-- Okay, okay, pee boy.
Get it yourself.
It turns out the hero is on our side.
Never mind.
Any problems getting in? None.
He thinks I'm swabbing toilets.
We've got about 10 minutes until he gets curious.
Why? Is that the standard toilet swabbing time? Yes.
That's exactly what it is.
You look comfortable in that FBI windbreaker.
It's time to consider a new career path.
No.
I prefer to keep my soul.
What are we looking for? Paul convinced our guy to steal a Bible.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know who killed him.
And I wanna know if they're related.
He was researching something.
Hundred Years' War, the Crusades illuminated manuscripts.
Why is a mob guy researching medieval history? You know the name Maria Fiametta? Doesn't ring a bell.
Who is she? Art historian, Brooklyn State.
Serendipity.
Paul had an appointment at Brooklyn State.
You find anything? Your hunch was right.
Ruiz is on the wrong trail.
And how did you learn this? A friend.
The same friend who--? Same guy.
He's real.
I'm not making him up.
Oh, I know he's real.
How much do you know? Enough.
What'd you find? A professor who writes about black market.
Sicilian grave robbers, Egyptian smugglers and Serbian mobsters.
Can't run with those crowds unless you're willing to get dirt under your nails.
What's his name? Her name is Maria Fiametta.
A woman.
A regular Cindiana Jones.
Do you wanna go meet her? Yeah, I think I do.
You gentlemen are with the FBI? Yes.
We're hoping you can help us out on this one.
We're working on a stolen Bible.
Show her.
Thank you, Agent--? Neal Caffrey.
That's funny.
There's a very talented manuscript forger also named Neal Caffrey.
How talented? You're him.
And you're with the FBI? It's sort of a work release.
I have to ask.
Is it true that the Vinland map is yours? How could it be? But if it is a forgery, it's spectacular.
How about we get back to my current problem? A pre-Renaissance Bible stolen from a church in Brooklyn.
It's very beautiful.
But it's not a Bible.
It's not? Pre-Renaissance, yes.
But it's too small to be a Bible.
Then it's a book of hours.
Most likely, yes.
In the Italian style.
A large prayer book.
To show their devotion, monks and nuns had to recite the Psalms hymns, or chants at specific times all day long.
Sunday school.
Lots of Sundays.
This is a particularly nice example.
Well, Ignazio thought so too.
Sorry? Do you know him? No.
We believe he stole it.
Oh, well, I hope you catch him.
Can't.
He's dead.
Looks like a mob hit.
But we're still hoping to figure out who took the book.
Well, I'd love to know.
It's quite beautiful.
Here's my card.
If you hear anything or come across anyone who's looking to buy or sell something.
I will call you.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure.
If you are ever in the mood to discuss medieval manuscripts.
You'd be surprised how often I'm in the mood for that.
Was this just an exercise in schadenfreude? Because you win.
It's just a bottle, man.
The lab needs to reexamine its work.
The lab went over every inch of that thing.
Fingerprints, chemicals, black light, nothing.
I even tested the remnants of the wine left in the bottle which, by the way, was a very lovely boxed Franzia from early October.
Oh, your FBI friend keeps you on a tight leash.
Keep looking, Moz.
Something's there, okay? She's lying about Paul.
She's two degrees away from our homeless guy.
I also have trouble buying the fact that an attractive history professor offed a mobster.
No.
You don't want me to see the missing inventory.
If I come down there, there'll be a lot more missing than centerpieces.
You got that? Okay, maybe it's not a complete stretch.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Sorry.
It's just my vendor.
No, it's fine.
We were just trying to decide if a woman is capable of murder.
Oh, I think so.
What's the issue? All right, I think we're dealing with a shell game.
Visual aids.
Nice.
Big Gulp is Paul, dead mob guy.
Coffee cup is Steve, our homeless vet.
Mug is Maria.
Napkin's the Bible.
Make Maria the saltshaker.
Maria's the mug.
Watch.
We'll start with Paul, who for some reason reads Maria's book and realizes the Healing Bible is worth a hell of a lot of cash.
But it's also Barelli's pride and joy.
He doesn't wanna risk Barelli's wrath.
He gets Steve to steal the Bible.
Steve to steal the Bible.
Plausible deniability.
But if it doesn't work, then he lets the homeless guy take the fall.
Well, that's evil.
He takes the Bible from Steve, calls Maria to make the deal.
Something happens.
Yeah.
The deal goes down wrong.
Or Paul decides he wants both the cash and the book.
Well, whatever it is, Paul ends up dead.
The Bible goes missing.
Steve never even met Maria.
And our girl walks away clean with a very expensive book.
Okay, how'd you do that? Never reveal your secrets.
How do we get Maria to reveal hers? If I stretch it, I might be able to get a warrant to get into her place.
You know, if she's smart, she's not gonna have that Bible anywhere close to her.
El, I've never seen this devious side.
Don't cross me.
Elizabeth's right about the Bible.
She won't keep it close.
I've got it.
She knew who you were.
Neal Caffrey, master forger.
Alleged.
Alleged, whatever.
If she's got the book, it links her to the murder.
She's gonna wanna get rid of it.
We've got the usual channels locked down.
But if she thinks you might be interested.
Convince her I'm pliable.
We find some street contacts.
Float it out that old Neal Caffrey is back in business.
That could take time and there's no guarantee.
Why don't you just ask her out? That could work.
Think she'll say yes? Yes.
I could prob-- To history, old and new.
How does an FBI agent get a table here? It's, like, a six month wait.
Oh, an FBI agent doesn't.
Don't forget I had a previous life.
Oh, yeah.
Do you believe in reincarnation? You could say that.
How about you? Who were you in your previous life? Same person I've always been, with '90s hair.
I doubt that.
Let me see your lifeline.
No.
Come on.
It'll help fill in the blanks.
You're not seriously gonna read my palm right now, are you? Oh, calluses.
Not afraid to get dirty.
Well, that's true.
What else? No ring.
Between that and the calluses, I'm guessing work gets in the way.
No ring for you either.
Yeah.
Prison got in the way.
So it must be weird for you working for the FBI.
I don't know.
It's always interesting to read from the other team's playbook.
The other team? I thought you were out of the game.
Oh, I am.
Retired and rehabilitated.
Have you found your missing Bible? Not yet.
You know anyone who wants to buy one? Maybe.
Looters approach me all the time.
So do buyers.
It's a very attractive offer.
It sure is.
Judge Rattigan faxed the warrant.
Excellent.
All right, Neal's got orders to keep her away from her home for at least an hour.
Can you bypass the alarm? Two minutes.
Let's do it.
Surprise me.
Oh, you sure? I might order something you don't like and then where will we be? I trust you.
After all, you work for the FBI.
More wine? Now you read minds? The question is do you? It's not bad for a college professor, huh? Yeah, well, she's either a crook or a trust fund baby.
Ha-ha.
Yeah, maybe it's both.
Ha.
They usually are.
Nice catch.
And not a bad place to drop the bug either.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's good coverage.
Let's do it.
She's bringing him back here.
Of course she is.
Oh, you jealous, you ain't getting any of it? Neal? No.
I'm perfectly fine with the stale ass coffee I have in the van.
Thank you.
We good? Yeah, we're good.
Careful, Lauren.
Don't spill that stale ass coffee.
It's a bug.
I can hear.
They're home.
Roll tape.
Some wine? Why not? So, what shall we talk about? There's this story about these two spies.
A French duke and an Italian count.
They're sworn enemies who spent the whole year trying to trick each other.
But on New Year's Eve, they got to ask one question the other had to answer truthfully.
Yes.
The trick was asking the right question because you may never get another chance.
I've always said honesty is a more challenging game.
Honesty is a more challenging game? Jeez, how come my dates don't go like this? You don't say things like, "Honesty is a more challenging game.
" It's because nobody actually talks like that.
They do in Neal Caffrey's world.
This wine needs to breathe.
I'm gonna get a decanter.
Why don't you put some music on? What are you in the mood for? Oh, you know.
Surprise you.
Ten years painting the same Bible.
Stalking God.
If it weren't for the monks' devotion we would've lost one of the most significant works of Greek literature forever.
It's stunning.
I agree.
You know what? I don't trust you.
Smart.
I wouldn't trust me either.
I think we have a technical problem.
That's one way of putting it.
Let's play the spies' game.
I'll ask you a question.
I have to tell you the truth? And you have to tell me the truth.
Okay.
Make it a good one.
Which Neal Caffrey are you? Are you working for the good guys or are you working a bigger game? What happened? Neal happened.
That answer your question? Maybe.
Feds linked Barelli's Bible to Paul Ignazio and you to Paul through his visits to the college.
Look, Maria.
I'm living proof if the feds want something from you they'll turn your life inside out to get it.
They'll tell Barelli you have his book.
Even if I don't? I can get you 250,000 in two days.
It is worth a lot more than that.
Not if you're in prison or dead.
Between the FBI and the mob, there's no way you can move it.
I can.
The other team's playbook.
If I shouldn't risk it, why are you? Won't they send you back for good? I'm already in prison.
We have a deal? How did you know she was in on it? Lucky hunch.
Hm.
Ruiz? I checked Paul's credit.
He got wired 10 G's from a shell corporation in Gibraltar owned by your lady professor.
Oh, by the way, how did last night's fishing go? Get any tape? Equipment failure.
But Caffrey says she has the book.
She'll sell, but only to him.
Of course he'd say that.
The terms? Two-fifty, wired to a Swiss account.
No way.
What if he cuts a deal with her? He runs away with the book.
What choice do we have? We don't.
I don't need another dead body in the East River.
We'll set up a dummy account.
That's risky.
What if she takes a shot at Neal? I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
Morning, guys.
Everybody sleep okay? Cayman's First National.
I'll e-mail you the PIN right before the buy.
First they send me to prison.
Tomorrow they give me a quarter million taxpayer dollars in an offshore account.
Guess that shows how much confidence they have in you.
And how much I have in you.
Hey.
Hey.
Morning.
You're up early.
Yeah.
I couldn't sleep.
Big day.
I can tell.
You're wearing your lucky tie.
Hey, did you find the Bible? Yeah.
The professor had it.
Neal's gonna buy it back.
You're giving him money, wow.
No wonder.
Lucky tie.
No way.
We set up a fake wire transfer.
Then what are you worried about? He has to convince her that he's working us.
Which means he has to cut his anklet for real.
The book's worth a fortune.
He could run with it.
Well, you have a lot more faith in a ratty old tie than you do Neal.
Yeah.
Well, this ratty old tie has never forged a priceless map of Vinland.
Why is it so hard for you to believe that he'll do the right thing? Let's just say that's not his first instinct.
And trust isn't yours.
Occupational hazard.
I like to know I can count on something.
I know you do.
Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
Look at him.
Son of a bitch should be in leg irons, you ask me.
Nobody asked you, Ruiz.
He conned you too, Pete, huh? Here she comes.
Hey.
We have a chaperone.
White van over my left shoulder.
What happened to not mixing business with pleasure? That's for us.
He's patting her down.
I need a cigarette after that pat down.
You're clean.
Thank you.
Your turn.
Well, what is that? She making sure that's not a gun in his pocket? No bugs.
So where's my money? Where's my book? You ready? When I cut the anklet, our friends are gonna know I'm running.
Can you lose them? I'm not going back in.
I've been chased by the carabinieri, drug cartels in Bogotá-- I get it.
You're good.
With all due respect, Neal we could make quite a fine pair.
With all due respect, Maria, shut up and drive.
He cut the tracker.
Right on schedule.
You knew about this? Of course.
He had to convince her he's rigging the system.
What if he really is? There are a dozen unmarked in the area.
N.
Y.
P.
D.
has eyes in the sky.
There's nowhere to hide.
Let's go.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I spent a long time looking for her.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
It's calfskin vellum.
Golden chalice of Paul.
You satisfied? Very.
Sending.
It's on its way.
And here it is.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
You'll never know how much pleasure it could have been.
You know, I had a feeling all that lovey-dovey stuff last night was BS.
Next time, you should trust your instincts.
Oh, I did.
Clip.
Lifted it when I patted you down.
You forgot about the one in the chamber.
Damn it.
I've never been a gun guy.
Give me the book, Neal.
Sorry.
If you're gonna take me on, it's gonna cost you a small fortune.
You can't do it? Is it because of the money or the history? You know the answer.
Is that why you killed Paul? Paul wanted the money and the book.
Yeah.
That's what happens when you get greedy.
Drop the gun.
Gun down or we shoot.
Gun down! Right now, put your gun down.
Your hands behind your head.
Man down.
Man down! Cut it a little close there, pal.
Guess the big guy had your back, huh? Well, I'll tell you one thing.
You made Lauren's day.
Yeah, not Barelli.
How did you and your scouts find out about this? N.
Y.
P.
D.
? I got one of those police scanners.
It's a hobby.
Head down.
She's Paulie's shooter? Some kind of lover's quarrel? Just business.
I hate to break it to you, but your nephew decided to freelance behind your back.
Oh, it's sad, you know? If you can't trust family, who can you trust? So if you guys are done, I'd like my Bible back.
Mass starts in one hour.
Would it kill you to say thank you, huh? Would it? I guess it would.
All right, just give it to him.
What? What do you mean what? Give him the Bible.
I gave it to some FBI guy.
Some FBI guy? Think you can get over on me? You'll wish you were never born.
Yeah.
I seem to be getting this speech a lot lately.
Hey.
Just shut up, Barelli.
No way.
This ain't over.
Where is it, Caffrey? I'll let Barelli give you a ride home.
Look, I'm telling you guys I don't know.
Oh.
I know where it is.
Hey, pally.
What are you doing with my Bible? She would've died without it if I.
Not so fast, wacko.
You know who you're messing with? You've got it, Barelli.
Just leave him alone.
No, I'm not gonna let this go.
Hey.
Hey, sweet girl.
Her name's Lucy.
Lucky Lucy.
She don't look good.
What's the matter? She's been sick until today.
I got this vet in Yonkers.
He saved my pugs from diabetes.
Wanna take a ride? Go see him? Have her checked out? Okay.
I was gonna give it back after.
I know.
- How'd you know? - Okay, I didn't know.
But I took a leap of faith that you'd do the right thing.
- Elizabeth.
- Yeah.
I told you it's a healing Bible.
Oh, here we go.
No way.
Barelli's a softy for dogs.
Oh, not enough smiting and lightning for you? That's not a miracle.
Come on.
It's not a parting of the Red Sea.
I'll take my miracles where I can get them.
- We have the honors? - Yes, sir.
She's back.
Hey, is that my jacket? He works in mysterious ways.
Mozzie, wake up.
Moz.
Mozzie! Let me see your warrant.
Oh.
What? Come here.
Lemon juice and a candle.
How did I miss this? Weren't you ever a Boy Scout? Oh, I got kicked out.
Pinewood derby, magnets, it was a whole thing.
It's a map.
Of the New York City subway.
What do you think it means?
Coffee? What do we got? We got any headlines? They keep bitching about his Bible.
It could be a debt ledger.
Well, it's missing.
And they ain't happy about it.
Hey, guys.
We have a situation.
Is that Barelli? What's he doing down here? I don't know.
But it can't be good.
Paul Ignazio, his nephew.
Turn the mic up.
- You sure about this? - Do it.
Damn.
He's walking over here.
You guys are the FBI, right? We need your help.
Last week somebody walks into my church steals the Bible.
A Bible? An actual Bible? Yeah.
You know, the flood, Abraham sacrifices Isaac.
You heard of it? Why do you want our help? I'm a taxpaying citizen.
So? File a police report.
Come on, Burke.
You got your guys sitting on me.
It's part of the game, I know, but it means that I'm not free to find out who did this.
Yeah, it means you're not free to bust heads until you do.
Do I have to take these accusations? Get to your point.
This Bible it's not just some book that the Gideons leave on the nightstand.
This is five centuries of history from Naples.
The saints prayed over this book.
Your personal feelings for Barelli aside I don't need the archdiocese crawling down our necks because we refused to help recover a medieval Bible.
Fine.
But if Barelli asked for our help, he must really want it back.
Let's get this straight here.
You may go to confession once a week but the bureau doesn't forgive sins.
We don't work for you.
What do you want? Shut down your bookmaking operations at Masso's Club.
Masso's.
It's a restaurant.
See for yourself anytime after Thursday.
Please.
Please help me find my goddamn Bible.
Please stop.
It's part of my process.
Look, either you taught her too well or it's just a bottle.
It's more than that.
This is the only thing Kate left me.
There's a message here.
Hello? Yeah, Peter.
I'll be down in five.
Oh, okay.
I'm coming right now.
Oh, the man interferes yet again.
Can you please--? Yes.
I'll take it back to the lab, run some tests.
You don't have a lab.
You have a storage unit.
Semantics.
Thanks, Moz.
The Bible belongs to the Church of St.
Camillus de Lellis in Naples.
It was brought here in 1903.
Been the heart of our parish.
Now this.
No alarm, no witnesses.
No sign of a forced entry.
It looks like a smash and dash.
Anything unusual that night, Father? No.
Not that I recall.
Have ERT run the prints against the parish roster.
Something tells me we'll get a few matches.
Nobody from this parish stole that Bible.
Oh, sure.
You guys are all choirboys, right, Barelli? No surveillance cameras.
The Lord sees all.
And that's good enough for us.
I'm getting my St.
Whatevers mixed up.
But didn't you used to run a soup kitchen here? Not anymore.
- Who steals a Bible? - People steal everything.
Why would we steal one? In theory? They're rare.
Yeah, it makes them valuable, but not like a Picasso.
It's definitely a niche market.
It's tough to fence.
People get weird about buying stolen religious artifacts.
I think it's an irony thing.
That pesky eighth commandment.
Thou shalt not steal.
It depends what's important to people.
Did you know that an original Star Trek dome lunchbox goes for 600 bucks? I don't try to explain it.
Well, I can appreciate that.
But why this one? Well, you're missing book is famous.
It's known as the Healing Bible.
Really? Attribution.
"In 1588, the plague passed through Naples.
Father Camillus carried the book into disease-stricken ships in the harbor.
Not a single person who touched the Bible died.
" Good story.
Twenty years later a blind girl regained her sight when she rescued the book from a fire.
I could give you many more examples.
No, I'm sure you could.
Look, maybe you don't steal it for the money.
You steal it because you're a true believer.
A true believer? You got something better? Every person in that church has a felony record.
The people I don't suspect are the ones in prison.
So let's start with the faithful.
"It cures blind nuns and lepers.
" It sounds like every story in Sunday school.
Look at this.
In 1918, 30,000 people in New York died from the Spanish flu.
No one in this parish even caught a cold.
Maybe whoever took it thinks it's gonna heal them.
It's worth looking into.
Nobody in this church caught the flu.
It's true.
Why these guys and not the church down the block? Because of a book? Tough to swallow.
I thought you were Catholic.
Lapsed.
Oh, so you don't think some higher power could've saved the congregation? I'm more inclined to think they kept the door shut and loaded up on vitamin C.
Maybe God works with what he's got? And God said, "Shut thine doors and eat thine oranges?" Why not? All right, look, when they dug up King Tut everybody made such a big deal out of the curse of the pharaoh.
People who entered the tomb ended up dead.
Yeah, they probably caught some old bacterial infection.
Germs.
There's your divine intervention.
God can't use bacteria? I prefer my miracles with a little more smiting and lightning.
Can I help you? Thanks for seeing us again, Father.
We wanted to run down one thing.
You didn't tell us your Bible was also known as a healing Bible.
I didn't think it was relevant.
Could be.
Anybody in your church who was a true believer of the healing power of the Bible? Someone who was terminally ill? Someone who had a sick family member? I was afraid this might happen.
What? Mr.
Barelli has discouraged the homeless from the church.
He made you shut down the soup kitchen.
How Christian of him.
The night of the theft, I let a homeless man sleep in the sanctuary.
His name's Steve.
Is he sick? No.
But someone very close to him is.
Steve? Hi.
My name is Peter.
This is my friend Neal.
Hi.
Do you mind if we ask you some questions? The church you stayed in last week, they're missing a Bible.
You know anything about it? Yeah.
I took it.
Great.
We need it back.
No.
No, I need it back.
What do you mean? Where is it? I took it from the church like he asked me to.
He said that he'd show me how to help Lucy get better.
Then he took it from me.
Now, he has not brought it back.
Do you know where he is? No.
I wish I did.
Who asked you to take the Bible from the church? Look, he said that he would help Lucy get better.
She's not getting better.
She's getting worse.
What's wrong with her? She's tired all the time.
She don't eat nothing.
If I get that Bible back, she'll get better.
The man who asked you to take the Bible, did you meet him at the church? Yeah.
Steve, if we showed you some pictures, do you think you could recognize him? We just need to get the Bible back, okay? Because she's fading.
All right? You okay to keep going? What? There's more of them? Yeah.
Let's just get through this one, okay? I'm glad we followed your hunch.
Hope it takes us somewhere.
Oh, ye of little faith.
You've been waiting to trot that one out.
Been holding onto it since lunch.
I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? That bad, huh? Yeah, that bad was about an hour ago.
Just give me the damn thing.
No luck, huh? No.
Not really, no.
Look, I'm-- I'm sorry I'm not more help to you.
My bell got rung pretty good in Fallujah.
You were in Iraq? Yeah.
It's where I found Lucy.
We called in this predator strike on this trigger house.
Two hellfires came in and just destroyed everything.
Then I hear this little whimpering.
So I lift up this piece of roof.
And there she was.
Just wagging her tail.
Well, you think you could look at one more book? The rest of you go over there and make sure N.
Y.
P.
D.
doesn't touch anything.
Let's go get it.
Yes, sir.
What's going on? One of Barelli's men just got shot.
Who? Paul Ignazio.
Barelli's number two.
Barelli's nephew.
That's him.
Who? The guy that asked me to take the Bible.
We can wrap this up with this bunch.
That's our boy.
Close range.
No eyewitnesses.
Body's not waterlogged.
So it's fresh.
.
25 caliber casing.
European gauge.
It's a .
22 caliber.
This is Brooklyn, buddy.
Not Bavaria.
Pete Burke.
This is a homicide, not an art exhibit.
What are you doing here? Ruiz, I see they let you out of your cubicle.
Yeah.
This is my show now.
Where's your pet convict? I left him in the car with the windows cracked.
What are you doing at my crime scene? This tails into my case.
This is mob retaliation.
It's my investigation now.
If you don't believe me, ask Hughes.
Don't start with me.
You've got Ruiz running Organized Crime? That's unbelievable.
We offer you that bump, you turn it down.
This isn't mob on mob.
The Bible's the key to this thing.
All you've got is a guy with a spotty memory who thinks Ignazio may have enticed him into stealing that Bible.
What we've got is a member of the Barelli family probably killed by the Morettis.
All right, fine.
I'll stay out of the active investigation.
Just let me take a look at whatever's on that body.
It's Ruiz's case.
He's not comfortable sharing intel while Caffrey's with you.
Oh, come on.
He's a convicted felon, Peter.
And Ruiz isn't the only one with reservations.
All right.
You have plenty of other cases on your sheet.
Let Organized Crime handle this one.
All right.
We're off the case? We've been asked to step down.
This is a retaliation killing by the other family? I don't think Paul would've met a Moretti alone by this river.
Not with all the bad blood in the water.
Now, if Ruiz is right.
That Moretti killed him? We may be sitting on the edge of a mob war.
So, what do we do? I can't do much of anything.
Ruiz is not willing to share the case file.
So where does that leave us? Like I said, I can't do much of anything.
You know, I'm getting a little chilly by this water.
Aren't you? Can I borrow your jacket? I swear to you, Peter.
Under no circumstances will I impersonate the FBI.
Where do you think you're going? This is Paul Ignazio's apartment, right? Hi, Ted Jefferson from the Evidence Recovery Team.
I don't care if you're Thomas Jefferson.
I need ID.
Oh.
Sorry.
I pulled a double hommie last night.
It's in the van.
My partner took it to see his girlfriend in Queens.
Not my problem, brother.
Look, I just need a urine swab from the vic's toilet.
If I don't get it soon, it'll spike the cross-reactivity and then-- I got orders too, pal.
No ID, no pee.
Oh, I know.
You can get it.
It's easy.
All you gotta do is swab around the rim of the toilet.
Then drop the swab into the tube, screw the cap on the tube.
And bam, we're good to go.
No way.
I'm not doing that.
Okay.
Now it's your problem.
Yeah, cap.
I got a local hero by the name of-- Okay, okay, pee boy.
Get it yourself.
It turns out the hero is on our side.
Never mind.
Any problems getting in? None.
He thinks I'm swabbing toilets.
We've got about 10 minutes until he gets curious.
Why? Is that the standard toilet swabbing time? Yes.
That's exactly what it is.
You look comfortable in that FBI windbreaker.
It's time to consider a new career path.
No.
I prefer to keep my soul.
What are we looking for? Paul convinced our guy to steal a Bible.
I wanna know why.
I wanna know who killed him.
And I wanna know if they're related.
He was researching something.
Hundred Years' War, the Crusades illuminated manuscripts.
Why is a mob guy researching medieval history? You know the name Maria Fiametta? Doesn't ring a bell.
Who is she? Art historian, Brooklyn State.
Serendipity.
Paul had an appointment at Brooklyn State.
You find anything? Your hunch was right.
Ruiz is on the wrong trail.
And how did you learn this? A friend.
The same friend who--? Same guy.
He's real.
I'm not making him up.
Oh, I know he's real.
How much do you know? Enough.
What'd you find? A professor who writes about black market.
Sicilian grave robbers, Egyptian smugglers and Serbian mobsters.
Can't run with those crowds unless you're willing to get dirt under your nails.
What's his name? Her name is Maria Fiametta.
A woman.
A regular Cindiana Jones.
Do you wanna go meet her? Yeah, I think I do.
You gentlemen are with the FBI? Yes.
We're hoping you can help us out on this one.
We're working on a stolen Bible.
Show her.
Thank you, Agent--? Neal Caffrey.
That's funny.
There's a very talented manuscript forger also named Neal Caffrey.
How talented? You're him.
And you're with the FBI? It's sort of a work release.
I have to ask.
Is it true that the Vinland map is yours? How could it be? But if it is a forgery, it's spectacular.
How about we get back to my current problem? A pre-Renaissance Bible stolen from a church in Brooklyn.
It's very beautiful.
But it's not a Bible.
It's not? Pre-Renaissance, yes.
But it's too small to be a Bible.
Then it's a book of hours.
Most likely, yes.
In the Italian style.
A large prayer book.
To show their devotion, monks and nuns had to recite the Psalms hymns, or chants at specific times all day long.
Sunday school.
Lots of Sundays.
This is a particularly nice example.
Well, Ignazio thought so too.
Sorry? Do you know him? No.
We believe he stole it.
Oh, well, I hope you catch him.
Can't.
He's dead.
Looks like a mob hit.
But we're still hoping to figure out who took the book.
Well, I'd love to know.
It's quite beautiful.
Here's my card.
If you hear anything or come across anyone who's looking to buy or sell something.
I will call you.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure.
If you are ever in the mood to discuss medieval manuscripts.
You'd be surprised how often I'm in the mood for that.
Was this just an exercise in schadenfreude? Because you win.
It's just a bottle, man.
The lab needs to reexamine its work.
The lab went over every inch of that thing.
Fingerprints, chemicals, black light, nothing.
I even tested the remnants of the wine left in the bottle which, by the way, was a very lovely boxed Franzia from early October.
Oh, your FBI friend keeps you on a tight leash.
Keep looking, Moz.
Something's there, okay? She's lying about Paul.
She's two degrees away from our homeless guy.
I also have trouble buying the fact that an attractive history professor offed a mobster.
No.
You don't want me to see the missing inventory.
If I come down there, there'll be a lot more missing than centerpieces.
You got that? Okay, maybe it's not a complete stretch.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
Sorry.
It's just my vendor.
No, it's fine.
We were just trying to decide if a woman is capable of murder.
Oh, I think so.
What's the issue? All right, I think we're dealing with a shell game.
Visual aids.
Nice.
Big Gulp is Paul, dead mob guy.
Coffee cup is Steve, our homeless vet.
Mug is Maria.
Napkin's the Bible.
Make Maria the saltshaker.
Maria's the mug.
Watch.
We'll start with Paul, who for some reason reads Maria's book and realizes the Healing Bible is worth a hell of a lot of cash.
But it's also Barelli's pride and joy.
He doesn't wanna risk Barelli's wrath.
He gets Steve to steal the Bible.
Steve to steal the Bible.
Plausible deniability.
But if it doesn't work, then he lets the homeless guy take the fall.
Well, that's evil.
He takes the Bible from Steve, calls Maria to make the deal.
Something happens.
Yeah.
The deal goes down wrong.
Or Paul decides he wants both the cash and the book.
Well, whatever it is, Paul ends up dead.
The Bible goes missing.
Steve never even met Maria.
And our girl walks away clean with a very expensive book.
Okay, how'd you do that? Never reveal your secrets.
How do we get Maria to reveal hers? If I stretch it, I might be able to get a warrant to get into her place.
You know, if she's smart, she's not gonna have that Bible anywhere close to her.
El, I've never seen this devious side.
Don't cross me.
Elizabeth's right about the Bible.
She won't keep it close.
I've got it.
She knew who you were.
Neal Caffrey, master forger.
Alleged.
Alleged, whatever.
If she's got the book, it links her to the murder.
She's gonna wanna get rid of it.
We've got the usual channels locked down.
But if she thinks you might be interested.
Convince her I'm pliable.
We find some street contacts.
Float it out that old Neal Caffrey is back in business.
That could take time and there's no guarantee.
Why don't you just ask her out? That could work.
Think she'll say yes? Yes.
I could prob-- To history, old and new.
How does an FBI agent get a table here? It's, like, a six month wait.
Oh, an FBI agent doesn't.
Don't forget I had a previous life.
Oh, yeah.
Do you believe in reincarnation? You could say that.
How about you? Who were you in your previous life? Same person I've always been, with '90s hair.
I doubt that.
Let me see your lifeline.
No.
Come on.
It'll help fill in the blanks.
You're not seriously gonna read my palm right now, are you? Oh, calluses.
Not afraid to get dirty.
Well, that's true.
What else? No ring.
Between that and the calluses, I'm guessing work gets in the way.
No ring for you either.
Yeah.
Prison got in the way.
So it must be weird for you working for the FBI.
I don't know.
It's always interesting to read from the other team's playbook.
The other team? I thought you were out of the game.
Oh, I am.
Retired and rehabilitated.
Have you found your missing Bible? Not yet.
You know anyone who wants to buy one? Maybe.
Looters approach me all the time.
So do buyers.
It's a very attractive offer.
It sure is.
Judge Rattigan faxed the warrant.
Excellent.
All right, Neal's got orders to keep her away from her home for at least an hour.
Can you bypass the alarm? Two minutes.
Let's do it.
Surprise me.
Oh, you sure? I might order something you don't like and then where will we be? I trust you.
After all, you work for the FBI.
More wine? Now you read minds? The question is do you? It's not bad for a college professor, huh? Yeah, well, she's either a crook or a trust fund baby.
Ha-ha.
Yeah, maybe it's both.
Ha.
They usually are.
Nice catch.
And not a bad place to drop the bug either.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That's good coverage.
Let's do it.
She's bringing him back here.
Of course she is.
Oh, you jealous, you ain't getting any of it? Neal? No.
I'm perfectly fine with the stale ass coffee I have in the van.
Thank you.
We good? Yeah, we're good.
Careful, Lauren.
Don't spill that stale ass coffee.
It's a bug.
I can hear.
They're home.
Roll tape.
Some wine? Why not? So, what shall we talk about? There's this story about these two spies.
A French duke and an Italian count.
They're sworn enemies who spent the whole year trying to trick each other.
But on New Year's Eve, they got to ask one question the other had to answer truthfully.
Yes.
The trick was asking the right question because you may never get another chance.
I've always said honesty is a more challenging game.
Honesty is a more challenging game? Jeez, how come my dates don't go like this? You don't say things like, "Honesty is a more challenging game.
" It's because nobody actually talks like that.
They do in Neal Caffrey's world.
This wine needs to breathe.
I'm gonna get a decanter.
Why don't you put some music on? What are you in the mood for? Oh, you know.
Surprise you.
Ten years painting the same Bible.
Stalking God.
If it weren't for the monks' devotion we would've lost one of the most significant works of Greek literature forever.
It's stunning.
I agree.
You know what? I don't trust you.
Smart.
I wouldn't trust me either.
I think we have a technical problem.
That's one way of putting it.
Let's play the spies' game.
I'll ask you a question.
I have to tell you the truth? And you have to tell me the truth.
Okay.
Make it a good one.
Which Neal Caffrey are you? Are you working for the good guys or are you working a bigger game? What happened? Neal happened.
That answer your question? Maybe.
Feds linked Barelli's Bible to Paul Ignazio and you to Paul through his visits to the college.
Look, Maria.
I'm living proof if the feds want something from you they'll turn your life inside out to get it.
They'll tell Barelli you have his book.
Even if I don't? I can get you 250,000 in two days.
It is worth a lot more than that.
Not if you're in prison or dead.
Between the FBI and the mob, there's no way you can move it.
I can.
The other team's playbook.
If I shouldn't risk it, why are you? Won't they send you back for good? I'm already in prison.
We have a deal? How did you know she was in on it? Lucky hunch.
Hm.
Ruiz? I checked Paul's credit.
He got wired 10 G's from a shell corporation in Gibraltar owned by your lady professor.
Oh, by the way, how did last night's fishing go? Get any tape? Equipment failure.
But Caffrey says she has the book.
She'll sell, but only to him.
Of course he'd say that.
The terms? Two-fifty, wired to a Swiss account.
No way.
What if he cuts a deal with her? He runs away with the book.
What choice do we have? We don't.
I don't need another dead body in the East River.
We'll set up a dummy account.
That's risky.
What if she takes a shot at Neal? I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
Morning, guys.
Everybody sleep okay? Cayman's First National.
I'll e-mail you the PIN right before the buy.
First they send me to prison.
Tomorrow they give me a quarter million taxpayer dollars in an offshore account.
Guess that shows how much confidence they have in you.
And how much I have in you.
Hey.
Hey.
Morning.
You're up early.
Yeah.
I couldn't sleep.
Big day.
I can tell.
You're wearing your lucky tie.
Hey, did you find the Bible? Yeah.
The professor had it.
Neal's gonna buy it back.
You're giving him money, wow.
No wonder.
Lucky tie.
No way.
We set up a fake wire transfer.
Then what are you worried about? He has to convince her that he's working us.
Which means he has to cut his anklet for real.
The book's worth a fortune.
He could run with it.
Well, you have a lot more faith in a ratty old tie than you do Neal.
Yeah.
Well, this ratty old tie has never forged a priceless map of Vinland.
Why is it so hard for you to believe that he'll do the right thing? Let's just say that's not his first instinct.
And trust isn't yours.
Occupational hazard.
I like to know I can count on something.
I know you do.
Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
Look at him.
Son of a bitch should be in leg irons, you ask me.
Nobody asked you, Ruiz.
He conned you too, Pete, huh? Here she comes.
Hey.
We have a chaperone.
White van over my left shoulder.
What happened to not mixing business with pleasure? That's for us.
He's patting her down.
I need a cigarette after that pat down.
You're clean.
Thank you.
Your turn.
Well, what is that? She making sure that's not a gun in his pocket? No bugs.
So where's my money? Where's my book? You ready? When I cut the anklet, our friends are gonna know I'm running.
Can you lose them? I'm not going back in.
I've been chased by the carabinieri, drug cartels in Bogotá-- I get it.
You're good.
With all due respect, Neal we could make quite a fine pair.
With all due respect, Maria, shut up and drive.
He cut the tracker.
Right on schedule.
You knew about this? Of course.
He had to convince her he's rigging the system.
What if he really is? There are a dozen unmarked in the area.
N.
Y.
P.
D.
has eyes in the sky.
There's nowhere to hide.
Let's go.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I spent a long time looking for her.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
It's calfskin vellum.
Golden chalice of Paul.
You satisfied? Very.
Sending.
It's on its way.
And here it is.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
You'll never know how much pleasure it could have been.
You know, I had a feeling all that lovey-dovey stuff last night was BS.
Next time, you should trust your instincts.
Oh, I did.
Clip.
Lifted it when I patted you down.
You forgot about the one in the chamber.
Damn it.
I've never been a gun guy.
Give me the book, Neal.
Sorry.
If you're gonna take me on, it's gonna cost you a small fortune.
You can't do it? Is it because of the money or the history? You know the answer.
Is that why you killed Paul? Paul wanted the money and the book.
Yeah.
That's what happens when you get greedy.
Drop the gun.
Gun down or we shoot.
Gun down! Right now, put your gun down.
Your hands behind your head.
Man down.
Man down! Cut it a little close there, pal.
Guess the big guy had your back, huh? Well, I'll tell you one thing.
You made Lauren's day.
Yeah, not Barelli.
How did you and your scouts find out about this? N.
Y.
P.
D.
? I got one of those police scanners.
It's a hobby.
Head down.
She's Paulie's shooter? Some kind of lover's quarrel? Just business.
I hate to break it to you, but your nephew decided to freelance behind your back.
Oh, it's sad, you know? If you can't trust family, who can you trust? So if you guys are done, I'd like my Bible back.
Mass starts in one hour.
Would it kill you to say thank you, huh? Would it? I guess it would.
All right, just give it to him.
What? What do you mean what? Give him the Bible.
I gave it to some FBI guy.
Some FBI guy? Think you can get over on me? You'll wish you were never born.
Yeah.
I seem to be getting this speech a lot lately.
Hey.
Just shut up, Barelli.
No way.
This ain't over.
Where is it, Caffrey? I'll let Barelli give you a ride home.
Look, I'm telling you guys I don't know.
Oh.
I know where it is.
Hey, pally.
What are you doing with my Bible? She would've died without it if I.
Not so fast, wacko.
You know who you're messing with? You've got it, Barelli.
Just leave him alone.
No, I'm not gonna let this go.
Hey.
Hey, sweet girl.
Her name's Lucy.
Lucky Lucy.
She don't look good.
What's the matter? She's been sick until today.
I got this vet in Yonkers.
He saved my pugs from diabetes.
Wanna take a ride? Go see him? Have her checked out? Okay.
I was gonna give it back after.
I know.
- How'd you know? - Okay, I didn't know.
But I took a leap of faith that you'd do the right thing.
- Elizabeth.
- Yeah.
I told you it's a healing Bible.
Oh, here we go.
No way.
Barelli's a softy for dogs.
Oh, not enough smiting and lightning for you? That's not a miracle.
Come on.
It's not a parting of the Red Sea.
I'll take my miracles where I can get them.
- We have the honors? - Yes, sir.
She's back.
Hey, is that my jacket? He works in mysterious ways.
Mozzie, wake up.
Moz.
Mozzie! Let me see your warrant.
Oh.
What? Come here.
Lemon juice and a candle.
How did I miss this? Weren't you ever a Boy Scout? Oh, I got kicked out.
Pinewood derby, magnets, it was a whole thing.
It's a map.
Of the New York City subway.
What do you think it means?