Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty (2022) s01e03 Episode Script
The Best Is Yet to Come
1
Jerry Buss:
What kind of asshole
does that to their boss in front
of the whole organization? Huh?
- Thanks for the goddamn morale
boost, you fucking cocksucker!
- I-I-I didn't mean to--
Jerry West:
I tried to give you
the fucking note
- before we went into
the fucking room! I did!
- Jerry Buss: Oh, fuck you!
Give the note!
I'm standing out there
with my dick hanging out
Your dad doesn't own
a firearm, does he?
- Get away from my door
or you're all fired!
- (bangs door)
- Claire Rothman: Alrighty.
Everybody back to work.
- Lon: On what?
- Big ideas.
- Rothman: Whatever that means.
You know what he likes.
Go help.
Jerry Buss:
fucking cocksucker,
backstabbing
son of a bitch!
Fuck you!
- You're holdin' out on me,
aren't you? Aren't you?
- No, no, no!
- He's fuckin' holding out on me!
There's another offer!
- No, no, no!
- Who is it? Who?
- No, I-- No, I told you!
I told you!
It-it's not what it is!
I'm out there moving
Heaven and Earth for you,
gettin' you
whatever you need,
and you leave
three fucking weeks
before training?
- I know. It's-- It's not--
- You are fucking
boning me, Jerry!
- Fuck you!
- It's not something
I'm proud of!
- I will sue your ass.
- I'll understand. I would.
I don't need a lawsuit, Jerry!
I need a fucking coach!
You know what I think?
I think you're chicken shit.
- That's what it is.
- Yeah
You're afraid I'm gonna
get you all the tools
you need, and you'll
still fucking lose!
- Jerry West:
I'm not afraid of that.
- Bullshit!
I know it. I-I know it
for a goddamn fact
because I'm lousy at it.
I'm a-- I'm a--
I'm a-- I'm a-- I'm a--
I'm a shit coach!
I am! I sit there, helpless,
watching these guys,
pissed to hell
that they ain't me!
And even worse,
that I can't be them!
I mean, if I could-- I swear--
I swear to God,
if I could suit back up now,
I'd play for you right now
in a heartbeat!
But, I ca-- I can't--
(gasps) I mean, shit,
I'd die for you right now!
But I can't get you
to where you want to go,
screaming from
the fuckin' sidelines!
(sighs)
You're better off
with someone else.
I'll help you find the guy.
I will.
I mean, I care
about this franchise.
I'll always be a Laker.
Team is family to me.
It's my family.
Now, get out.
(sirens wailing)
("My Favorite Mutiny"
by The Coup playing
♪
There it is ♪
♪
Check it out ♪
Move, if you got the nerve ♪
Lash out for
your just desserts ♪
It's not just the worth ♪
Some of y'all heads
up in the clouds ♪
I'ma bring y'all
back to earth ♪
It's Black back to burn ♪
Bullshit y'all talkin' 'bout ♪
Out ya mouth ♪
I'm not concerned ♪
'Cause y'all got to learn ♪
It's y'all turn
like Detroit Red ♪
When his head
had a Ultra Perm ♪
The long walk'll
burn your bare heels ♪
So throw on your boots ♪
The game camouflaged
like army suits ♪
But I can see it
more clear ♪
'Cause I came with
The Coup in here ♪
Ring the alarm
and form the troops ♪
Send 'em out into the world
Go to war in a fluke ♪
Eye to eye with the enemy
you sworn to shoot ♪
Now comin' at ya neck
sick o' hearin' ♪
Something wrong with me ♪
Motherfucker somethin'
wrong with you ♪
When the chief just
way too smart to question ♪
The enemy the brothers
of a dark complexion ♪
The governments of the world
is shark infested ♪
They heavy on weaponry
like Charlton Heston ♪
Man, yeah,
it gets low here ♪
Real low
Know what I'm talkin' 'bout? ♪
(vocalizing)
Yeah, yo, it gets low ♪
♪
- (static)
- (siren wailing)
- (kids laughing, playing)
- (sprinkler spraying)
(soft R&B music playing)
♪
♪
(exhales)
What's up, Doc?
I'm comin' for you, baby.
♪
♪
Come on, Larry!
(overlapping chatter, laughter)
- Hey, they'll let me drive.
- Pop, don't let him near my car.
(laughter, overlapping chatter)
Earvin Johnson Sr.:
You're right, you're right.
Not my car.
- (door creaks open, shuts)
- (chatter stops)
Remember who you are
and where you come from.
Couldn't forget
if I tried, Mama.
(sighs) My goodness.
Come on, everybody.
Let's give Junior a hug.
(laughter)
- Johnson Sr.: Aw, EJ.
Y'all get on up in here now.
- We gonna miss you, EJ!
- Love you, EJ.
I'm gonna miss you all, too.
(funky pop music playing)
♪
(ding)
(ding)
(dinging)
Doorman:
No former players.
(buzzer)
Check again, my man.
Come on. Pat Riley.
It-it-it's
gotta be there.
- Nope.
- Can I see the next page?
- Yeah, yeah.
- (muttering)
It's the same shit.
- I'm here for Chick. Hm?
- Mm-hmm.
- Not on the list.
- Well, if I just go in there,
it's not gonna be a--
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, brother man. Come on.
Cut me some slack, will ya?
I'm not some honky
off the street, man.
I played here
for five years.
Okay, I won me a ring. Alright?
I know you got a job to do,
but I have a meeting in there.
Okay, I-I promise you,
I-I'm on the list.
No former players,
brother man.
This is some bullshit.
Lon:
Okay, here's one.
Um, Evel Knievel. We get him,
he jumps the full length of the
court right over Kareem's head.
- You're an idiot.
- Well, at least it's splashy.
My dad loves Hollywood,
a big production.
What about live music
for the game? A band?
(mocking):
Why not Herb Alpert?
Well, since money
isn't an object--
Money is the only object.
- I just know my dad said--
- Yeah, I know what he said.
But this team has been bleeding
in attendance for 10 years.
It's been longer than that since
we broke even at the venue,
not to mention turned a profit.
Now, he wants us
spending more money.
But if we are not bringing
in enough to cover that,
we become the burden.
Now your father doesn't
strike me as a man
who likes to carry burdens.
Is that fair?
- I think he'll do what it takes.
- Rothman: I hope you're right,
but I won't spend
what I can't pay for.
So while you're
dreaming up a show,
how about we find a way
to sell some more tickets?
(inhales, exhales)
Jerry Buss:
Alright. What do we got?
Dean Smith?
Retired.
Great. Fucking retired.
Under contract,
under contract
Bobby Knight. Like Bobby Knight
is gonna bail on college
for a team on the verge
of fucking bankruptcy.
- Goddamn it!
- (rattling)
(sighs)
(upbeat jazz playing)
Bingo.
(jazz continues)
Jerry Tarkanian--
head coach of the UNLV
Runnin' Rebels,
the fastest, flashiest
thing in Nevada
not wearing pasties
and a G-string.
Do you want to see
the best show in Vegas?
Fuck Falana, fuck Charo--
which is a story, by the way.
It's him.
- (dinging)
- (crowd cheering)
And sure, he's had his
share of controversy.
The college poobahs
hate him because he plays
a little loosey-goosey
with recruitment rules.
I'd put you in a lot
of pick-n-rolls.
So, there's your pick
and there's your roll.
♪
- I'll sign.
- Jerry Buss: Ask me,
that's gumption.
Lemonade, folks.
Lemonade.
Scout 1: You know West.
He throws a fit at
the beginning of every season.
Last year,
he tore down a urinal.
- This wasn't a tantrum.
- Well, I'm willing to
do it if you need me.
Hell, I can call the games
and coach 'em.
No need, Chickie Poo.
I found our man.
(disapproving groans)
- Tark the Shark?
- NCAA's been up his ass
like Ben Wa balls.
He's got a reputation.
- Say that to my face!
- Jerry Buss: Who gives a shit?
That's amateur, alright?
The whole thing's crooked
as a fuckin' jaybird.
Last time I checked, paying
guys is legal in the pros.
Dr. Buss,
we nixed him from
contention for a reason.
In my opinion, there are
other coaches out there.
- Safer bets.
- Was Jerry West a safe bet?
- Oh boy.
- Jerry: Mm-hmm.
Because Mr. Fucking Clutch
just left us in the lurch,
and I'm a pubic hair away
from fucking training camp.
John Wooden, by the way,
retired four years ago, Bill,
so stop sending me
bullshit files!
I'm gonna ask you
one question.
Does Tark the Shark
have what it takes
to take my team all the way?
- He's a hell of a coach.
- Goddamn right, he is.
Get him on the hook,
and I will reel him in.
(smooth acoustic guitar playing)
♪
(inaudible)
♪
Announcer:
The game now, well in hand.
Riley on the free throw line,
he gets the ball baseline.
And he makes the shot
Foul on Pat Riley
Pat Riley on the board
(overlapping):
Pat Riley no good
♪
(players chattering)
- (bones crack)
- (grunts) Oh, fuck!
Shit.
- Fuck.
- (dribbling ball)
Alright. Fuck it.
I'm good. Let's go.
Patient: (crying)
I tried the thing in "Cosmo"
(sniffles) He left me
for the--
for the secretary.
What's important right now is
for you to make a clean break.
Some people can't bring
themselves to do that,
so be gentle with
yourself, and
What the fuck are you doing?
- What? (crying)
- Pat: Uh
- Therapist: What
happened to your face?
- Sorry.
- Sorry, babe.
- (closes door)
Just caught a game
with the guys on the beach.
Needed a towel. Pardon me.
He's going to be
right out of here.
I'm just gonna
I'll
be in the garage.
- (clears throat)
- You dropped a nut.
- I'm so sorry, Sandra.
- (crying) It's okay.
(insects chirping)
(down-tempo music playing)
(puts down can)
Are you a fucking idiot?
'Cause the calendar's
on the goddamn fridge!
- (puts down bat)
- I'm sorry.
I forgot.
- Maybe put a tie on
the door next time.
- Mm!
- Because my career
is a joke to you.
- Come on, Chris,
what do you want me to say?
I used to come home to my wife
decked out in
Frederick's of Hollywood.
Now, I got a strange woman
crying in my chair.
Chris:
Yeah, well, you know,
I used to be
married to
a professional athlete,
so I guess we're even.
You're some shrink.
- You're some asshole.
- That's your diagnosis?
There's more technical
terminology,
but, yeah. Wanna hear
my treatment plan?
- Well, I'm likin' it so far.
Yeah, yeah.
- Oh yeah? Are you?
I want you to find something
to do with your days.
- I think I'm finding it.
- (laughs)
- Chris Riley: No No.
- Mm?
How about this?
Why don't you
clear the ivy out of here
and get rid of this stuff?
And then I could see
my patients in here,
and I could come home
to find you in a teddy.
- (inhales)
- Honey
♪
(upbeat music playing)
♪
Thing's redder than
a baboon's ass.
- It's a bump in the road.
- Would be
if it weren't
covering a land mine.
He didn't tell you that part?
Well, it seems that Mr. Cooke,
when he built your fabulous
stadium 12 years ago,
he didn't spend a dime
of his own money.
Did it all on credit.
Balloon loan
from Great Western Bank.
Three million cash,
due at maturity
in two months.
But, he was smart enough
to pawn it off on you
before the bill came.
Jeanie Buss:
Here you go, Dad.
- Thanks, sweetie.
- Jessie Buss:
Thank you. Ooh, yummy.
(mouthing)
Jeanie Marie?
There is a big box
in my closet,
way in the back.
If you look and see--
I can't get it down.
- Sure.
- Jerry Buss: Yeah.
Thanks, Jean Bean.
♪
- (quietly): Mom.
- (quietly): What?
You cannot say
a fucking word
about this to her.
Who got you here?
We keep each other's secrets.
- We always have.
- Jerry: You don't
say a fucking word
to Frank or to anybody,
you understand?
I'm already down
a fucking coach.
People find out we're
one step ahead of the repo man,
it's gonna be you down
on the fucking sidelines.
We're not cutting bait, Mom.
I need you to figure out a way
to get us out of this.
(reggae music playing)
- Woo!
- (crowd cheering)
You know, I can't say
I ain't surprised you hit me up,
the way I got in
that ass at Sterling's.
- Here we go. Here we go.
- (dribbling)
- Oh shit!
- (crowd oohing)
Spanked you.
- You got me.
- Hey, man, look.
Getting shown out
like that would've
ran most back to college
where it's safe.
You stood tall,
held your ground.
- Respect, Country.
- Earvin Johnson:
Well, you know,
maybe you was right.
I mean, you didn't have
to say it like you did,
but I do got a few
things to learn.
Yes, you do indeed.
Like the shit you got on
for starters, brother.
(laughs) My clothes?
- This here fly as hell.
- It's repugnant!
Them lapels look
like pelican wings,
them jeans are out of
"Field Hand Quarterly,"
and them boots--
Hey, hold on!
These are my favorite shoes!
I love "Saturday Night Fever,"
too, but, nigga, it's noon!
And who knew Ray Charles
is cutting hair?
(giggling)
This a fresh haircut, man.
Yeah, we gonna fix that, too.
Don't worry about it,
young buck. I got your back.
That's why they call me
Savoir Faire.
You settle this,
I'll settle you.
Meet me down the way.
Got some shit to show you.
Welcome to my humble
establishment,
Casa de Norm.
Wait (laughs)
You be owning this?
Yeah, investment
property, brother.
Oh Lord
Givin' my eyes a stroke.
Norman,
what have you
brought me? Child,
you will not find Mr. Goodbar
lookin' like that.
Norman Nixon: Come on.
Go easy on him, Clarence.
This boy from Michigan!
And out there, this is
clean as Afro Sheen,
so I don't
Hold on. Y'all are trippin'.
I look good.
I know I look good.
Hook my brother up.
One suit on the house.
Whatever he wants, okay?
For my premiere.
Clarence:
Mm, I have just the thing.
That's right. Your boy's
about to be a movie star.
Did a flick last
spring with Dr. J.
Dr. J? Julius Erving?
For real.
Yeah, big opening tonight.
Jamal and A.D. comin' through.
- You should come with.
- Damn, it gotta be tonight?
I'm supposed to be hooking up
with Dr. Buss later.
Oh, Dr. Buss.
So, you guys boys now, huh?
It ain't like that.
He just been lookin' out
for a brother, that's all.
You do well with
the ladies in Ohio?
Michigan.
And, yeah, I do aight.
So then you know real game
comes down to feelings.
Get a woman feeling safe,
she's yours.
Sprinkle a little
nice on top of that,
you got a freak for life.
Now, owners
play the same. You know,
tell us a whole bunch of shit
we wanna hear, and then
fuck us up the ass, no grease.
Might as well toss
money on the dresser.
Dr. Buss ain't like that.
- We cool.
- Oh yeah. Bet he says
you starting point guard, too.
That's 'cause
I am starting point.
I'd take some of that
bass out my voice, negro,
till they put you on
the floor because
word on high is West can't wait
to stick your big ass
down on the block.
You know, setting picks,
rebounding
doing shit a power forward do.
- Bullshit.
- Hey, just what I heard,
but, you know, you seein'
your boy Buss tonight, so
ask him yourself.
(humming):
Da-da-dee. Da-da-da.
- (knocking)
- Yeah?
- Hey, Chick. Hey.
- Chick Hearn:
Hey, Pat, come on in.
Hey, listen, buddy, I'm sorry
about the other day, huh?
They put some new
gorilla on the door,
can't recognize a living legend
when they see one, huh?
- (laughs) That's alright.
- Holy Christ.
What the hell did
he do to your face?
Oh no, I just, uh,
I banged it playing pickup.
- Basketball?
- Yeah.
What the hell for?
I thought you
were happily retired,
you know, sailing off
into your golden years.
- Yeah, no, no. It's been good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, real good. Yeah.
- Terrific.
- Change of pace and all.
- Sure.
Just, uh, kind of been
missing it a little.
You know, being around the game.
You wanna come to some?
I mean, I-I'm sure
Buss is gonna
pack the comp list
with his bimbo coeds,
but you're, uh,
you're free to sit
- with Marge if you want.
- (sighs) Actually, uh
- I was hoping to sit with you.
- Huh?
I heard you were looking
for a new color man
on the broadcast.
- You?
- I mean,
- if you're open to it.
- Patrick, I, I'm
I'm not sure I see it.
- I work harder than anyone,
you know that.
- I know.
- I know you do.
- You know it. And, hey,
I'm not gonna be here
trying to take your job.
I-I'm not looking
for a bigger gig.
I just wanna, you know
I just wanna be around
the game, you know?
I still
I feel like I have
more to give to it.
I know I do.
Well, I gotta
I gotta run any new guy
through Buss. I mean,
- he's very particular.
- You're not gonna regret it.
- You won't regret it.
- The problem is your voice.
- My voice? Wh-what's, uh
- It's
It's faggy.
I'm not saying you are one.
I mean, you're a,
you're a man's man.
God knows.
But, I mean,
you close your eyes,
and you open up your ears,
and you-- (laughs)
you sound like a fruit.
Well, uh Shit, that's, uh
I mean, that's,
uh, something I can
- work on, isn't it?
- Yeah. You can work on that.
Hey, Chick,
all I'm asking is a shot.
Please.
(clears throat) Please.
Come on, I need this.
Alright. Uh
You know what, maybe
m-make me a tape, okay?
- I'll do it.
- No promises.
- No promises.
- Okay.
Hey, you won't be sorry.
- Alright. Make me a nice tape.
- Love the hair.
- You got it. Thanks.
- Thank you. Okay.
(high-pitched):
This is Pat Riley
for the LA Lakers.
(normal voice):
Yeah, I don't see it.
♪
Jerry Tarkanian:
Alright, let's go!
Okay, watch the rebound!
Footwork! Quick hands!
Quick hands! Take your shot!
Good job!
Use your footwork!
Alright, good job! Good job!
We're gonna come back down,
we're gonna do the zigzag.
Jesus, Tark, is your AC dead?
You're gonna give these
poor kids heat stroke.
Hey. Vic Weiss.
Nice to meet you.
Tark and I have been best
friends since grade school.
I've seen him rise up to
the top of the college game,
and I'm about to blow
his fuckin' mind.
(whispers):
The Lakers.
I know, I know.
It's bullshit and politics,
- but what do you call this, pal?
- We had to tape the vents.
Those NCAA scumbags
hid a camera.
I'm a persecuted man.
You're damn right,
you are.
In here coaching
like Anne Frank,
schvitzing your balls off.
The bags under your eyes
got bags under their eyes.
- You sound like Lois.
- That's because
she loves you, pal!
Like I do.
You're stuck here in a
fucking sand trap,
trying to defend your name,
and for what?
For this amateur baloney?
Cash your chips in.
Get what you deserve
for once.
- Player: Open!
- Shit, let me hear
him out at least.
How much are you in for?
What? (stammers) Look,
- this is for you!
- Look,
if you need
a little scratch
I'm tellin' you,
I'm good. I'm
I'm great.
Good.
So am I.
- Okay!
- (clapping)
Okay, good job! Take it again!
(mellow jazz playing)
(Shave and a Haircut knock)
Coming!
(laughs)
I'm here for Dr. Buss.
Hi, sorry. He just started on
his hair so it could be a while.
- Do you want to come in?
- Right on.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
Dr. Buss got game of his own.
- I'm Jeanie.
- Oh! Earvin. Sorry. (laughs)
(laughs) You kidding?
I-I know who you are.
Do you want a Coke or something?
Uh yeah, yeah. Cool.
Thanks. So, uh
you live here with Dr. Buss?
Well, technically
I still live with my mom,
but she's down in Del Mar,
and I'm part-time at 'SC,
so I stay here
the nights she lets me.
Which isn't enough.
- Cheers.
- (clink)
So your mom,
she's cool you staying here
with Dr. Buss and all?
Oh yeah. Yeah,
they split up ages ago,
so they're basically
just friends now.
Your moms was with him, too?
He's my dad.
(both laugh)
I'm sorry.
You know, you just hear
about stories about LA
and all that and
Right on. Right on.
Jerry Buss:
Is that LA's new
favorite son I hear?
- Johnson: Dr. Buss?
- Ha, ha! How you doin'?
- How was the trip?
- It was good.
So sorry I couldn't be
there to meet you myself,
- but I hope you
liked that driver.
- Yeah, yeah. Smooth ride.
So, I hope you
brought your appetite
- 'cause I was thinking fondue.
What do you think?
- Johnson: Yeah.
- (phone ringing)
- Jeanie, can you get that?
- Look, I was talking to Norm
- Jerry: Uh-huh.
- and he was talking
to Coach West.
- Jerry: Right.
- and--
- Jeanie Buss: It's for you, Dad.
Mr. Sharman.
I'm so sorry.
Hold that thought, Earvin.
I got to take this one. Yeah.
Thank you. Hello, Bill!
Uh-huh. No, we're about
to get some lunch.
What do you mean,
not interested?
Oh, give me a fucking break.
With all due respect, Bill,
it's the fuckin' Lakers.
- Bill, what did I say?
- (bangs phone)
I said, if you can solve
this on the phone, great.
If you can't,
I'm going to Vegas,
so that's what I'm doing now.
Yes, right now!
Well, if you can be
at the Van Nuys airport
in 20 minutes,
then you can come
with me. Goddammit.
(laughs) Unbelievable.
- Is everything alright?
- Oh yeah,
everything's copacetic.
Nothing for you to worry about.
I've got to go to Vegas.
Right, well, I did wanna
talk to you about something.
Yeah, and I wanna talk
to you, too. Jean Bean,
will you take our
new friend out for lunch,
go to the Derby
or something fun?
- I'll be right back,
buddy! I promise!
- (slam)
- (crowd cheering)
- Lakers win! Lakers win!
(chanting continues)
(flashbulb pops)
♪
Aw, shit.
Fuckin' Super Glue, my ass.
- Fucking Fuck!
- (thud)
Fuckin'
- (metallic thud)
- Fuck you, too.
Now, what did it
ever do to you?
I'm sorry.
Who the fuck are you?
We met a few times.
Jack McKinney.
I'm the assistant coach
in Portland.
Oh, yeah, right.
Doc Ramsay's guy.
He lets me out of the house
sometimes. Have a minute?
Look, if you're here about
the coaching job,
I'm not the guy to talk to.
I'm out the fuckin' door.
Yeah, that's why
Bill called me down.
For what?
- For my job?
- I guess they're
seeing a few people.
To be honest,
I have reservations.
Well, fuck,
goddammit, so do I.
I mean, you're
you're a number two!
I mean, this is head coach
of the fuckin' Lakers.
Hell of a team.
No doubt about it.
But, uh
Well, I've had
a few head coaching
offers in the past,
none of them quite
what I'm looking for.
My wife says I'm too picky.
Always waiting for
some perfect situation
that won't ever come around.
Wai-- (laughs)
Back the fuck up. Wha--
What isn't perfect
about this job?
Jack McKinney:
Well, that's what
I wanted to ask you.
It looks great on paper.
The squad's loaded, but here
you are walking out the door.
- That's my business.
- I just wonder if you're
bumping on personalities.
You know, new owner, big star
like Kareem stuck in his ways,
maybe that's the reason
your offense got so stagnant.
- Stagnant? No
- You know,
"dump the ball in post,
watch the big man go to work."
- Dependable, conventional.
- Conventional?
I'd want to try something,
I don't know, a lot more
- More
- Uh
I don't know.
A lot more unique.
- Unique, yeah? Doc t--
- Bill Sharman: Hey, Jack!
- Thanks for coming down.
- Oh, thanks for having me,
Bill. Jerry.
Hey, thanks for
the conversation.
I-I hope we can
finish it sometime.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Sharman: You know Chick.
- Hey, Jack. How are you?
Good to see you, pal.
- Hey, Chick. Good to see you.
No, no, no, no, Bill.
I mean, what the fucking
fuck of a fuck, dude.
I mean, that guy's
a fuckin' nobody.
Yeah. Well, he's a backup.
Buss has his heart
set on Tarkanian.
You gotta be dry-fucking-
humping me, dude!
- No!
- You want my job, Jerry?
Oh, that's right.
You picked this week to retire.
But, I gotta thank you.
See, I'm learning that life,
like basketball,
it's a game of control.
Knowing what you can
and what you can't.
For instance,
I can't control you.
- That--
- I mean, I can't
control Dr. Buss,
and I can't control
who he wants to
replace you with.
- (thud)
- Boom.
That's all I got, Jerry.
Unless you wanna reconsider.
Fuck no, Bill.
Then finish packing.
- (blinds rattling, knocking)
- (whispers): What the fuck is--
Hey, you! ♪
♪
Can't we come together ♪
Johnson:
Woo!
Hey, I ain't never been to
no premiere before. Hoo-hoo!
Yeah, that don't surprise me.
Do they got popcorns
like at a regular movie?
I'm about to kick
your ass outta my car
you don't stop acting
like a bumpkin.
And don't go
getting fucked up
over the celebrity
bullshit neither
because most of these stars
out here broke as fuck,
perpetrating like
they living the dream.
- (laughs)
- No, you gotta do it like
Jim Brown or OJ do.
Stay righteous, brother.
- Yeah, yeah. Right on. Right on.
- (laughs)
So, uh
What?
Your man Buss leave you hangin'?
He had to go to Vegas.
Mm-hmm.
What that mean?
(chuckles) Nothin', man. Look.
Glad you could make it,
young buck.
Me, too. Me, too.
(crowd chatter)
♪
- I'm about to have fun.
- Nixon: Hey.
- (shutter snapping)
- Johnson:
Walking the red carpet!
Nixon:
Remember that little
chat we had, okay?
Stay cool as a fan, yeah?
- Look at this.
- (shutters snapping)
- See, stop it. Look.
Strike one. Hey!
- (shutter snaps)
- Hello, fellas.
- Damn! Lookin' sharp.
Where is everybody?
The press should be
all up on my ass.
Shit, ain't everybody out this
motherfucker a budding all-star.
This shit cool, Storm.
Can't wait to see my man
up on the big screen.
- Hey, thank you.
- Uh, which one of you
is on the Rams?
- None. We're Lakers.
- Right.
- Well, let's get a photo anyway.
- Nixon: Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Hold on.
Ring check, ring check.
(crowd shouting)
Oh! Thank you so much!
Here we go.
- (shouting continues)
- Woman: Mrs. Cosby!
Oh! Look, y'all,
it's Fat Albert!
I'm gonna slide out
real quick, fellas.
Do my thing.
- Hey, say hey to Bill for me.
- Nixon: Shut up.
(crowd clamoring)
(quietly):
Man.
Magic motherfuckin' Johnson.
(laughs) Shit.
Nigga, Michigan State?
You made me so much
fuckin' money that game.
Stomping all up and down on
that sorry-ass Larry Bird.
- Right on, brother.
- Yeah, baby.
You's a bona fide
Civil Rights hero.
Making that ugly-ass white boy
cry on national TV? Shit!
I bet they were celebrating that
shit in the jungles of Africa.
- Man, stop! Stop, man.
I just be playin' ball, man.
- Yeah, man!
- Oh, you just be
playin' ball, huh?
- Yeah!
Well, my name is Zastro,
and everybody around
this motherfucker
likes to call me
Zastro. (laughs)
Nice to meet you, Zastro.
Well, dig this here.
I got this little thing
that I do.
It's over off of Crenshaw.
It's a little after-hours.
Do a little dancin',
do a little gamblin', and, uh,
the best damn poontang
♪
LA has to offer.
Close your mouth,
my brother.
Take this card.
Earvin, we gotta
get to our seats.
What's going on, Silk?
♪
(laughs) Walk with me.
What, y'all know
each other?
Dude's shady.
Lots of those out here.
He ain't got shit
to lose. You do.
Good lookin' out, brother.
- (laughter)
- (cheering in movie)
Man (in movie):
Gimme that puss
(whisper):
Oh, it's coming up right now.
don't use it here,
sittin' on your butt! Nixon!
Was that you or
Wait, wha--
Where's the rest of it?
Back of your head
look good, man.
They oughta give
that afro an Oscar.
- (buzzer in movie)
- Nixon: Ain't that some
some bullshit right there?
(movie continues)
(16mm projector running)
(projector continues)
McKinney:
Pick it up!
That ball does not
wanna just sit
in someone's hands.
- It wants to move.
- (blows whistle)
It wants to flow,
like water.
Let's get a move on!
Push it faster, go!
Yeah.
Like what he did there.
He ain't bad. He ain't--
he ain't fuckin' bad at all.
Look at that.
Never stops going.
- (whistle blows)
- He's pretty fucking good.
Gail!
Where is the Portland finals?
(clicks off)
- Gail!
- (knocks)
Hey. They told me you retired.
- You're not Gail. (laughs)
- No.
- I'm just borrowing
her eye shadow.
- (laughs)
- What's your excuse?
- Huh?
Oh, fuck hell,
I'm out the door.
No, I'm just, uh
Yeah, Bill's just got me
helping out on the job hunt.
Well, you can put in
a good word for me.
(laughing)
- To coach?
- That'd be a kick.
- Right? (laughs)
- Seriously?
No.
No, Chick's, uh, is letting me
audition to be on the air.
Oh shit, Pat.
- What the fuck for? (sputters)
- Glutton for punishment?
I mean, I'm telling you,
I get my ass on a golf course,
I'm never setting
foot in here again.
No good fuckin' riddance, too.
Sayonara.
I said the same thing
about volleyball.
Month on the sand,
- I didn't know what I was
gonna do with my life.
- (laughs)
It's funny, you know.
It's not like it's
any big surprise, but
you spend your whole career
knowing it's all
gonna be over someday.
But you never really know what
over is going to feel like
until you're sittin'
on the beach.
You're a 34-year-old has-been.
And you realize,
"Holy shit. Man, I just
I turned into my old man."
(sighs)
But, hey. If I was you,
it'd be different.
Look at you.
You got to be Jerry West.
You know, that kind of respect,
that kind of appreciation,
I would be thrilled to
walk away into the sunset.
Instead
I'm practicing my velvet voice.
How do I sound?
Depressing.
(sighs)
(phone ringing)
Larry (on phone):
Hey, EJ! I miss you, man.
I got Junior!
Hey, man!
How you been?
Oh, boy's up this early?
He's not calling
from jail, is he?
Tell Mama I ain't
calling from no jail.
Well, what you been
doing out there?
I just went out to a movie
with the fellas last night.
Oh, you making friends then?
Yeah, Pop.
Good ones.
Hey. Zastro sent me.
Zastro:
Here you are, baby!
Welcome to Zastro's,
where we about to show you
the time of your life.
They told me Magic's outside.
(laughs)
That boy wore a prom suit
to pull some pussy.
Now, you might
know magic, nigga,
but she about to make
your dick disappear.
- (laughing)
- Johnson: But, you know,
only thing on my mind
right now is ballin'.
(moaning)
- Oh, d-did he find a church yet?
- Johnson: Yes, ma'am.
Got hands laid on me
and everything.
Oh, good.
Johnson Sr.:
Hope you're eating, too,
'cause your mama's been
cooking up a storm for us
- like it's a repast.
- Yeah, I'm eating real good.
(moaning)
- Tell him she made pot roast.
- Quincy: Hey, Pops.
Can I talk to him?
I wanna tell him about that
new Tasty Ice flavor.
- We got two flavors!
- Christine: We have to go.
- (moans)
- Hey, we must be gettin'
off right now, son.
- We going to church. Love you.
- Sister: Tell him we say bye!
Family: We love you!
Love you! Love you!
- Out the door! Out the door!
Let's go. Let's go.
- Johnson Sr.: Let's go--
(dial tone)
They sure are.
(hangs up phone)
(ballroom music playing)
♪
People think some things in
life are out of their control.
Your hair falls out
the loan comes due,
the coach quits,
and the guy you want
to replace him with
is playing hard to get.
Nothing you can do!
(spraying)
But I don't buy into that.
I'm a math guy.
For every problem,
there is a solution.
Just have to
find it.
(spraying)
Well, no, actually,
I don't have a table,
but I-I know Jerry Tarkanian
is having dinner here,
and that's who I'm here to see,
so I'm Dr. Jerry Buss.
(laughs)
I own the Los Angeles Lakers.
Maybe you've heard of them.
- Yeah, I lost 10 G's
on you motherfuckers.
- (tires screech)
Oh! He's with me!
He's with me.
- Doorman: Hey. Sorry.
- Joey, gentile.
- Mr. Mariani. I didn't know.
- (car door shuts)
Don't worry about it.
- See you later, Joey.
- You just gave him my whole wad.
Yeah, I'm sure he earned it.
♪
And I kicked and screamed,
"I like it here.
I don't wanna go
to Los Angeles."
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Next thing you know,
I fall in love with the place.
Tark, will you
listen to the guy?
What am I doing here?
I'm eating.
I'm listening.
I'm getting heartburn.
I do appreciate your gumption.
You know,
showing up like this.
I'm not going anywhere.
Johnny, you know that pomodoro
- I got coming for Lois?
- Yes, sir.
- Can we put a fucking
rush on that?
- Johnny: Absolutely.
- (mouthing)
- Tarkanian: And I'll take
an espresso, please.
It's on the house, Coach.
Go Rebels.
See, now this is
the kind of love
that you guys,
you want me to leave, right?
For what?
- These fucking phonies
in Hollywood?
- Tark
What you got here,
it's magnificent.
Of course, they love you.
But LA is gonna love
you even more.
- They are.
- Jerry: So, let me take
what you do here.
the speed,
that fucking
lightning offense,
let me put it on
the biggest stage there is.
Don't hide your light
under a bushel, Jerry.
You know what you got?
A really amazing
head of hair.
- Really?
- Truly.
You know, I spent
so many years waging war
on this fucking thing.
Like the Battle of
the fucking Bulge.
This guy even got
his friend to come over
- Pedro.
- and teach me how to
comb it over.
- (laughs)
- Took an hour
every day.
Still wound up looking
like a plate of spaghetti,
and I wasn't
fooling anybody.
Now, I got a crew cut.
- Jerry Buss: Looks good.
- Lois thinks I look
like a Basset hound.
(laughs)
But at least,
I don't feel like a fraud.
I'm a college coach.
That's what I am.
- W-w-what Tark's
trying to say
- Mick!
He's just saying
he's real comfortable,
and it would take a lot to, uh,
you know, make him move forward.
Okay. How much?
How much?
Jerry, let's just--
let's just say it.
- Say what we think. How much?
- Vic Weiss: Let's
spitball. Uh, at least
two, three times what
he's earning here in Vegas.
- How about 10 times as much?
- (coughing)
- Okay?
- That's a lot of money, Jerry.
- (fork clinks)
- That's $750,000 by the way.
And that's over how long?
Per year, every year.
Which, if I'm not mistaken,
would make you
the highest-paid
coach in sports.
Jerry, I didn't come here
to fuck around.
I came here to make
you a solid offer.
- You know, it's a lot
of driving out in LA.
- Tarkanian: Vic
And he'd need a new car.
You know, something reliable.
Luxurious.
I got a dealership--
Get two. Get one
for Lois as well,
so she can do her errands.
- It's Rolls-Royce.
- Jerry: Of course,
it's Rolls-Royce.
You think I'm gonna
put 'em in a Pontiac?
You see what the fuck
I'm dealing with over here?
Hey, why don't you throw
in the whole stadium?
- Tark the Shark!
- So, did we just make a deal?
That's what it
sounded like to me.
Couple cars, 750.
Are we done?
'Cause I would love to trade in
this sludge for some bubbly.
- Champagne, sir.
- Jerry Buss: Ha! Jesus.
You do get good service here.
From the gentlemen.
Salut!
(gunshots)
♪
(cork pops, gunshot echoes)
- Let's make this happen
for everybody, alright?
- Weiss: Yeah.
- Yeah, we'll definitely do that.
- Good seeing you.
Thanks a lot.
You've given us
a lot to think about.
- Jerry, it was nice to meet you.
- (door shuts, tires squeal)
Was it just me, or did
we just get kiboshed
- by a bottle of champagne?
- (laughs) Wasn't the bottle.
Who were those guys?
Come on.
Who do you think?
- Bing-bing-bing-bing.
- Yeah.
Yeah. So, you know what?
We ought to kiss
their pinky rings
because they just saved
us 750,000 fassule.
How are we gonna come up
with that kind of scratch?
Let me worry about the money.
You find out what
the hell happened.
- Call a cousin or something.
- I can't call--
We're not letting
this slip away!
Pay who you gotta pay.
Just make it happen.
(Indian sitar playing)
Instructor (on tape):
Fight the habit of retreating
to your head voice.
Set your chest voice free.
Oh oh!
Instructor:
Performing vowel sounds.
(sighs)
Red baby buggy bumpers.
Red baby buggy bumpers
Franklin threw Fred
three free throws.
Franklin threw
Fred three three flows
Franklin threw Fred
three three fl-- Shit!
Instructor:
Expel the air in your lungs
in one large breath.
(tape stops)
(sighs)
Hm, hm, hm, hm!
(click)
Let's do this, let's do this.
- (clears throat) Okay.
- (clap)
Lights out, folks.
- (whirring)
- (clapping)
♪
Riley with the ball
shakes his shadow,
pulls up for the jumper.
Good!
Two points Kentucky.
Riley with the rebound
and the outlet.
Damp here on the break.
Score!
What a duo.
That's a one-two punch
if I've ever seen one, folks.
Hard foul by Riley.
Took a little
wild out of those cats.
Alright, Riley, number 42,
pops it loose
and breaks away.
West, the trailer,
shoots Scores!
'Cause he's Jerry West.
One of the best, folks,
one of the best to ever live.
And here comes f
Pat Riley, folks, the
faggy-voiced washout
with no future,
who no one thinks
will amount to any--
(tape stops)
Ah!
(sighs)
I used to be married
to a professional athlete,
so I guess we're even.
(chain rattling)
What if you just cleared out
all that ivy and this stuff,
and then I could
see patients in here?
(melancholy music playing)
♪
(straining)
- (groans)
- (thud)
- Ah! Fuck.
- (music stops)
(chainsaw roaring)
♪
(ding)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(frantic jazz playing)
(music stops)
Mmm.
(sighs)
(scoffs) Jesus.
Hmm.
Did you get it out
of your system?
(gasps) Those fucking roots.
- (chainsaw buzzing)
- (screaming)
- Are you feeling bleeding?
- I'll stitch it up.
Just can't stop thinking
about my dad. (sighs)
Four games in the majors.
One hit.
He spent the rest of his life
trying to get back to the plate.
- Fuck!
- (can clanging)
(cutlery clinking)
Chris: You know,
every patient asks me
how they turned out
like their parents.
- (fire crackling)
- (bat bouncing)
I've never had a single one
prepared to do the work
to turn out differently.
All I've ever done is work.
I worked my whole life.
- Chris, that's all I've done.
- Mm.
Day and night, I work.
Every time I leave the--
I'd leave the court,
and I'd see him in
my mind's eye.
fucking beer in his hand,
sitting in that
ugly fucking chair.
And I'd work harder.
- At basketball.
- Yeah. What else?
(sighs) God.
There's a reason that
we bury the dead, honey.
Indians burn bodies
and Vikings send them
out to sea. It's for
the living.
So that we can move on
with our lives.
You wanna send me out to sea?
Sometimes, I really do.
(laughs)
(laughs)
I just really want you
to find something else.
Is that your big audition tape?
Yeah.
How'd it go?
It's terrible.
Alright.
Well then
Work harder.
(crowd cheering)
College Student 1:
What's it like out there?
College Student 2:
Tell Diana Ross I love her hair.
Hey, y'all.
It's for you.
Bye!
Should've known.
Ten girls gathered around,
it's gotta be Earvin.
Now, you know I only
kept them on the line
so I could talk to you.
Young Johnson:
Oh, everybody's going wild!
Johnson makes the shot!
He wins the finals! Woo!
Johnson:
I don't know, Cook.
The whole thing out here,
ain't like how I thought
it was gonna be.
Feel kind of small.
Like Norm.
He talk like he hot shit,
but he got all
these side hustles.
Got a store here,
a few words in a movie there,
and they all fine with it.
It's just I don't know.
You want more.
Johnson:
Of course.
They out here treating us
like we The Sylvers,
when I'm trying to be
the Jackson Five.
(scoffs) Michael, at that.
Johnson:
(laughs) Damn straight.
And I ain't talkin'
no Tito or Jermaine.
- (laughs)
- Johnson: But, Cook,
you shoulda seen the way that
they was up on Cosby last night.
All these eyes and cameras.
He was gettin' all the love.
If you think
that's love, Earvin.
Tsk. There you go.
Just sayin'.
- Johnson: Well,
what you expect?
- (laughs)
If it was up to me,
I'd have the real thing
right here with me.
- I got a test in the morning.
- Johnson: Come on, Cook.
I got a orange tree
right outside my door.
- Good night, Earvin.
- Good night, Cook.
(smooth R&B playing)
(fire crackling)
Karen:
Mm. I was thinking a vase
or maybe an orchid.
But that's the perfect touch.
Mm-hmm.
I'll get it out of here.
- No rush.
- That's that
for basketball.
(inhales)
Now what?
Well,
I had some ideas.
♪
Mm-hmm?
- Oh!
- Oh
Such as
♪
(exhales)
♪
Oh, come on.
(moaning)
Jerry: Here.
(heavy breathing)
Hang on. You should go
get your diaphragm on.
Or not.
We could make
something new.
Together.
♪
(heavy breathing)
(both moaning)
- Bill! Bill!
- Sharman: Not now, Jerry.
- Not now!
- Don't fucking "not now" me.
I saw the progression, Bill.
This guy McKinney is
a fucking idiot savant.
I mean,
first year he came in,
he turned that team in
Portland right around
- as an assistant.
- Yep.
I did. I spoke to Ramsay.
It was his X's and O's.
I mean, he took a squad of
spare parts and turned them into
a fucking Rolex, made 'em
tick right to the title.
They call it "retired"
for a reason, Jerry.
- Dr. Buss!
- Huh?
This coaching thing.
I got your guy.
Too late!
Already got my own guy.
Deal's already done.
Tark's driving out to meet me
at the Bay Club. Hey, hon?
Come on with me,
and I'll drop you off
at your mother's
when I get him
on the dotted line.
Jerry.
Thank you for
your service.
And, hey,
what do you know?
I only have to change
one name on the door.
(laughs)
That's what you call a mitzvah!
That means good luck in Jewish.
Congratulations.
You're done.
Lois:
Oh here, I found it.
2,500 square feet,
three bedrooms,
two and a half baths.
You gotta think big, Lois!
Something in the hills.
- You know, the stilts.
- Lois: I'm not
vacuuming a mansion.
They got Mexicans
for that!
- Woman (on phone):
Hello, Vic?
- Hey ya, Rose.
- Rose: Oh, hi, Tark.
- Vic there? We're on the road.
Rose: He didn't
come home last night.
You haven't heard from him?
He hasn't called you?
Well, you know Vic.
He probably slept at the office.
Anyway, we'll see him there.
Alright. Love you, Rose.
Lois:
Honey, this one
looks really good.
- (engine roars)
- Oh, honey! (laughs)
It's a good life ♪
To be free
and explore ♪
Jerry:
We're gonna win
it all this year.
I can see it.
Tark is the last piece.
He's gonna be
worth every penny.
And it's a lot of pennies,
let me tell you.
Are you sure we can afford it?
Afford what?
Well, I-I overheard
you and Grandma.
- And Claire is worried
- (laughs)
because there's not that
much coming in so far.
goodbye ♪
You see that
airplane up there?
You know how an airplane flies?
Like the actual physics of it?
Well, let me tell you.
It falls. No shit.
It falls out of the sky,
just fast enough
with enough velocity
that it doesn't smash
into the ground,
and then your wheels just touch,
and you're right
where you wanna be.
♪
But, you can't tell
the paying customers that
because you can't sell tickets
falling to New York.
And in case
you wonder why ♪
Jerry: But, kiddo,
you can't get anywhere
in this world
if you are afraid to fall.
Okay?
Alright.
So, quit worrying.
I brought you with
for good luck.
- (phone ringing)
- The good life ♪
To be free and explore ♪
- (siren wailing)
- (phone ringing)
The unknown ♪
- Like the heartaches ♪
- (phone ringing)
When you learn ♪
- Tarkanian: Hello?
- Rose: (crying) Jerry?
- Tarkanian: Rose?
- Rose: They
(sniffs) They found him.
They found Vic!
Please, remember,
I still want you ♪
And in case
you wonder why ♪
Well, just wake up ♪
Kiss that good life
goodbye ♪
(vocalizing)
('70s pop song playing)
♪
Let me tell you a story ♪
About time trouble and me ♪
Time was
something I wasted ♪
And trouble's
all I could see ♪
Standing there
by the mountain ♪
I knew what
I had to be ♪
Be the king
of a mountain ♪
And live a life to be free ♪
Eagles fly
to the mountains ♪
Like rivers
flow to the sea ♪
People make
their own wind now ♪
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
You're the king
of the mountain ♪
You'd better
understand this ♪
You're the king
of the mountain ♪
It's something
that you can't miss ♪
Eagles fly to
the mountain ♪
Like rivers
flow to the sea ♪
The people chose
their own wind now ♪
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Jerry Buss:
What kind of asshole
does that to their boss in front
of the whole organization? Huh?
- Thanks for the goddamn morale
boost, you fucking cocksucker!
- I-I-I didn't mean to--
Jerry West:
I tried to give you
the fucking note
- before we went into
the fucking room! I did!
- Jerry Buss: Oh, fuck you!
Give the note!
I'm standing out there
with my dick hanging out
Your dad doesn't own
a firearm, does he?
- Get away from my door
or you're all fired!
- (bangs door)
- Claire Rothman: Alrighty.
Everybody back to work.
- Lon: On what?
- Big ideas.
- Rothman: Whatever that means.
You know what he likes.
Go help.
Jerry Buss:
fucking cocksucker,
backstabbing
son of a bitch!
Fuck you!
- You're holdin' out on me,
aren't you? Aren't you?
- No, no, no!
- He's fuckin' holding out on me!
There's another offer!
- No, no, no!
- Who is it? Who?
- No, I-- No, I told you!
I told you!
It-it's not what it is!
I'm out there moving
Heaven and Earth for you,
gettin' you
whatever you need,
and you leave
three fucking weeks
before training?
- I know. It's-- It's not--
- You are fucking
boning me, Jerry!
- Fuck you!
- It's not something
I'm proud of!
- I will sue your ass.
- I'll understand. I would.
I don't need a lawsuit, Jerry!
I need a fucking coach!
You know what I think?
I think you're chicken shit.
- That's what it is.
- Yeah
You're afraid I'm gonna
get you all the tools
you need, and you'll
still fucking lose!
- Jerry West:
I'm not afraid of that.
- Bullshit!
I know it. I-I know it
for a goddamn fact
because I'm lousy at it.
I'm a-- I'm a--
I'm a-- I'm a-- I'm a--
I'm a shit coach!
I am! I sit there, helpless,
watching these guys,
pissed to hell
that they ain't me!
And even worse,
that I can't be them!
I mean, if I could-- I swear--
I swear to God,
if I could suit back up now,
I'd play for you right now
in a heartbeat!
But, I ca-- I can't--
(gasps) I mean, shit,
I'd die for you right now!
But I can't get you
to where you want to go,
screaming from
the fuckin' sidelines!
(sighs)
You're better off
with someone else.
I'll help you find the guy.
I will.
I mean, I care
about this franchise.
I'll always be a Laker.
Team is family to me.
It's my family.
Now, get out.
(sirens wailing)
("My Favorite Mutiny"
by The Coup playing
♪
There it is ♪
♪
Check it out ♪
Move, if you got the nerve ♪
Lash out for
your just desserts ♪
It's not just the worth ♪
Some of y'all heads
up in the clouds ♪
I'ma bring y'all
back to earth ♪
It's Black back to burn ♪
Bullshit y'all talkin' 'bout ♪
Out ya mouth ♪
I'm not concerned ♪
'Cause y'all got to learn ♪
It's y'all turn
like Detroit Red ♪
When his head
had a Ultra Perm ♪
The long walk'll
burn your bare heels ♪
So throw on your boots ♪
The game camouflaged
like army suits ♪
But I can see it
more clear ♪
'Cause I came with
The Coup in here ♪
Ring the alarm
and form the troops ♪
Send 'em out into the world
Go to war in a fluke ♪
Eye to eye with the enemy
you sworn to shoot ♪
Now comin' at ya neck
sick o' hearin' ♪
Something wrong with me ♪
Motherfucker somethin'
wrong with you ♪
When the chief just
way too smart to question ♪
The enemy the brothers
of a dark complexion ♪
The governments of the world
is shark infested ♪
They heavy on weaponry
like Charlton Heston ♪
Man, yeah,
it gets low here ♪
Real low
Know what I'm talkin' 'bout? ♪
(vocalizing)
Yeah, yo, it gets low ♪
♪
- (static)
- (siren wailing)
- (kids laughing, playing)
- (sprinkler spraying)
(soft R&B music playing)
♪
♪
(exhales)
What's up, Doc?
I'm comin' for you, baby.
♪
♪
Come on, Larry!
(overlapping chatter, laughter)
- Hey, they'll let me drive.
- Pop, don't let him near my car.
(laughter, overlapping chatter)
Earvin Johnson Sr.:
You're right, you're right.
Not my car.
- (door creaks open, shuts)
- (chatter stops)
Remember who you are
and where you come from.
Couldn't forget
if I tried, Mama.
(sighs) My goodness.
Come on, everybody.
Let's give Junior a hug.
(laughter)
- Johnson Sr.: Aw, EJ.
Y'all get on up in here now.
- We gonna miss you, EJ!
- Love you, EJ.
I'm gonna miss you all, too.
(funky pop music playing)
♪
(ding)
(ding)
(dinging)
Doorman:
No former players.
(buzzer)
Check again, my man.
Come on. Pat Riley.
It-it-it's
gotta be there.
- Nope.
- Can I see the next page?
- Yeah, yeah.
- (muttering)
It's the same shit.
- I'm here for Chick. Hm?
- Mm-hmm.
- Not on the list.
- Well, if I just go in there,
it's not gonna be a--
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, brother man. Come on.
Cut me some slack, will ya?
I'm not some honky
off the street, man.
I played here
for five years.
Okay, I won me a ring. Alright?
I know you got a job to do,
but I have a meeting in there.
Okay, I-I promise you,
I-I'm on the list.
No former players,
brother man.
This is some bullshit.
Lon:
Okay, here's one.
Um, Evel Knievel. We get him,
he jumps the full length of the
court right over Kareem's head.
- You're an idiot.
- Well, at least it's splashy.
My dad loves Hollywood,
a big production.
What about live music
for the game? A band?
(mocking):
Why not Herb Alpert?
Well, since money
isn't an object--
Money is the only object.
- I just know my dad said--
- Yeah, I know what he said.
But this team has been bleeding
in attendance for 10 years.
It's been longer than that since
we broke even at the venue,
not to mention turned a profit.
Now, he wants us
spending more money.
But if we are not bringing
in enough to cover that,
we become the burden.
Now your father doesn't
strike me as a man
who likes to carry burdens.
Is that fair?
- I think he'll do what it takes.
- Rothman: I hope you're right,
but I won't spend
what I can't pay for.
So while you're
dreaming up a show,
how about we find a way
to sell some more tickets?
(inhales, exhales)
Jerry Buss:
Alright. What do we got?
Dean Smith?
Retired.
Great. Fucking retired.
Under contract,
under contract
Bobby Knight. Like Bobby Knight
is gonna bail on college
for a team on the verge
of fucking bankruptcy.
- Goddamn it!
- (rattling)
(sighs)
(upbeat jazz playing)
Bingo.
(jazz continues)
Jerry Tarkanian--
head coach of the UNLV
Runnin' Rebels,
the fastest, flashiest
thing in Nevada
not wearing pasties
and a G-string.
Do you want to see
the best show in Vegas?
Fuck Falana, fuck Charo--
which is a story, by the way.
It's him.
- (dinging)
- (crowd cheering)
And sure, he's had his
share of controversy.
The college poobahs
hate him because he plays
a little loosey-goosey
with recruitment rules.
I'd put you in a lot
of pick-n-rolls.
So, there's your pick
and there's your roll.
♪
- I'll sign.
- Jerry Buss: Ask me,
that's gumption.
Lemonade, folks.
Lemonade.
Scout 1: You know West.
He throws a fit at
the beginning of every season.
Last year,
he tore down a urinal.
- This wasn't a tantrum.
- Well, I'm willing to
do it if you need me.
Hell, I can call the games
and coach 'em.
No need, Chickie Poo.
I found our man.
(disapproving groans)
- Tark the Shark?
- NCAA's been up his ass
like Ben Wa balls.
He's got a reputation.
- Say that to my face!
- Jerry Buss: Who gives a shit?
That's amateur, alright?
The whole thing's crooked
as a fuckin' jaybird.
Last time I checked, paying
guys is legal in the pros.
Dr. Buss,
we nixed him from
contention for a reason.
In my opinion, there are
other coaches out there.
- Safer bets.
- Was Jerry West a safe bet?
- Oh boy.
- Jerry: Mm-hmm.
Because Mr. Fucking Clutch
just left us in the lurch,
and I'm a pubic hair away
from fucking training camp.
John Wooden, by the way,
retired four years ago, Bill,
so stop sending me
bullshit files!
I'm gonna ask you
one question.
Does Tark the Shark
have what it takes
to take my team all the way?
- He's a hell of a coach.
- Goddamn right, he is.
Get him on the hook,
and I will reel him in.
(smooth acoustic guitar playing)
♪
(inaudible)
♪
Announcer:
The game now, well in hand.
Riley on the free throw line,
he gets the ball baseline.
And he makes the shot
Foul on Pat Riley
Pat Riley on the board
(overlapping):
Pat Riley no good
♪
(players chattering)
- (bones crack)
- (grunts) Oh, fuck!
Shit.
- Fuck.
- (dribbling ball)
Alright. Fuck it.
I'm good. Let's go.
Patient: (crying)
I tried the thing in "Cosmo"
(sniffles) He left me
for the--
for the secretary.
What's important right now is
for you to make a clean break.
Some people can't bring
themselves to do that,
so be gentle with
yourself, and
What the fuck are you doing?
- What? (crying)
- Pat: Uh
- Therapist: What
happened to your face?
- Sorry.
- Sorry, babe.
- (closes door)
Just caught a game
with the guys on the beach.
Needed a towel. Pardon me.
He's going to be
right out of here.
I'm just gonna
I'll
be in the garage.
- (clears throat)
- You dropped a nut.
- I'm so sorry, Sandra.
- (crying) It's okay.
(insects chirping)
(down-tempo music playing)
(puts down can)
Are you a fucking idiot?
'Cause the calendar's
on the goddamn fridge!
- (puts down bat)
- I'm sorry.
I forgot.
- Maybe put a tie on
the door next time.
- Mm!
- Because my career
is a joke to you.
- Come on, Chris,
what do you want me to say?
I used to come home to my wife
decked out in
Frederick's of Hollywood.
Now, I got a strange woman
crying in my chair.
Chris:
Yeah, well, you know,
I used to be
married to
a professional athlete,
so I guess we're even.
You're some shrink.
- You're some asshole.
- That's your diagnosis?
There's more technical
terminology,
but, yeah. Wanna hear
my treatment plan?
- Well, I'm likin' it so far.
Yeah, yeah.
- Oh yeah? Are you?
I want you to find something
to do with your days.
- I think I'm finding it.
- (laughs)
- Chris Riley: No No.
- Mm?
How about this?
Why don't you
clear the ivy out of here
and get rid of this stuff?
And then I could see
my patients in here,
and I could come home
to find you in a teddy.
- (inhales)
- Honey
♪
(upbeat music playing)
♪
Thing's redder than
a baboon's ass.
- It's a bump in the road.
- Would be
if it weren't
covering a land mine.
He didn't tell you that part?
Well, it seems that Mr. Cooke,
when he built your fabulous
stadium 12 years ago,
he didn't spend a dime
of his own money.
Did it all on credit.
Balloon loan
from Great Western Bank.
Three million cash,
due at maturity
in two months.
But, he was smart enough
to pawn it off on you
before the bill came.
Jeanie Buss:
Here you go, Dad.
- Thanks, sweetie.
- Jessie Buss:
Thank you. Ooh, yummy.
(mouthing)
Jeanie Marie?
There is a big box
in my closet,
way in the back.
If you look and see--
I can't get it down.
- Sure.
- Jerry Buss: Yeah.
Thanks, Jean Bean.
♪
- (quietly): Mom.
- (quietly): What?
You cannot say
a fucking word
about this to her.
Who got you here?
We keep each other's secrets.
- We always have.
- Jerry: You don't
say a fucking word
to Frank or to anybody,
you understand?
I'm already down
a fucking coach.
People find out we're
one step ahead of the repo man,
it's gonna be you down
on the fucking sidelines.
We're not cutting bait, Mom.
I need you to figure out a way
to get us out of this.
(reggae music playing)
- Woo!
- (crowd cheering)
You know, I can't say
I ain't surprised you hit me up,
the way I got in
that ass at Sterling's.
- Here we go. Here we go.
- (dribbling)
- Oh shit!
- (crowd oohing)
Spanked you.
- You got me.
- Hey, man, look.
Getting shown out
like that would've
ran most back to college
where it's safe.
You stood tall,
held your ground.
- Respect, Country.
- Earvin Johnson:
Well, you know,
maybe you was right.
I mean, you didn't have
to say it like you did,
but I do got a few
things to learn.
Yes, you do indeed.
Like the shit you got on
for starters, brother.
(laughs) My clothes?
- This here fly as hell.
- It's repugnant!
Them lapels look
like pelican wings,
them jeans are out of
"Field Hand Quarterly,"
and them boots--
Hey, hold on!
These are my favorite shoes!
I love "Saturday Night Fever,"
too, but, nigga, it's noon!
And who knew Ray Charles
is cutting hair?
(giggling)
This a fresh haircut, man.
Yeah, we gonna fix that, too.
Don't worry about it,
young buck. I got your back.
That's why they call me
Savoir Faire.
You settle this,
I'll settle you.
Meet me down the way.
Got some shit to show you.
Welcome to my humble
establishment,
Casa de Norm.
Wait (laughs)
You be owning this?
Yeah, investment
property, brother.
Oh Lord
Givin' my eyes a stroke.
Norman,
what have you
brought me? Child,
you will not find Mr. Goodbar
lookin' like that.
Norman Nixon: Come on.
Go easy on him, Clarence.
This boy from Michigan!
And out there, this is
clean as Afro Sheen,
so I don't
Hold on. Y'all are trippin'.
I look good.
I know I look good.
Hook my brother up.
One suit on the house.
Whatever he wants, okay?
For my premiere.
Clarence:
Mm, I have just the thing.
That's right. Your boy's
about to be a movie star.
Did a flick last
spring with Dr. J.
Dr. J? Julius Erving?
For real.
Yeah, big opening tonight.
Jamal and A.D. comin' through.
- You should come with.
- Damn, it gotta be tonight?
I'm supposed to be hooking up
with Dr. Buss later.
Oh, Dr. Buss.
So, you guys boys now, huh?
It ain't like that.
He just been lookin' out
for a brother, that's all.
You do well with
the ladies in Ohio?
Michigan.
And, yeah, I do aight.
So then you know real game
comes down to feelings.
Get a woman feeling safe,
she's yours.
Sprinkle a little
nice on top of that,
you got a freak for life.
Now, owners
play the same. You know,
tell us a whole bunch of shit
we wanna hear, and then
fuck us up the ass, no grease.
Might as well toss
money on the dresser.
Dr. Buss ain't like that.
- We cool.
- Oh yeah. Bet he says
you starting point guard, too.
That's 'cause
I am starting point.
I'd take some of that
bass out my voice, negro,
till they put you on
the floor because
word on high is West can't wait
to stick your big ass
down on the block.
You know, setting picks,
rebounding
doing shit a power forward do.
- Bullshit.
- Hey, just what I heard,
but, you know, you seein'
your boy Buss tonight, so
ask him yourself.
(humming):
Da-da-dee. Da-da-da.
- (knocking)
- Yeah?
- Hey, Chick. Hey.
- Chick Hearn:
Hey, Pat, come on in.
Hey, listen, buddy, I'm sorry
about the other day, huh?
They put some new
gorilla on the door,
can't recognize a living legend
when they see one, huh?
- (laughs) That's alright.
- Holy Christ.
What the hell did
he do to your face?
Oh no, I just, uh,
I banged it playing pickup.
- Basketball?
- Yeah.
What the hell for?
I thought you
were happily retired,
you know, sailing off
into your golden years.
- Yeah, no, no. It's been good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, real good. Yeah.
- Terrific.
- Change of pace and all.
- Sure.
Just, uh, kind of been
missing it a little.
You know, being around the game.
You wanna come to some?
I mean, I-I'm sure
Buss is gonna
pack the comp list
with his bimbo coeds,
but you're, uh,
you're free to sit
- with Marge if you want.
- (sighs) Actually, uh
- I was hoping to sit with you.
- Huh?
I heard you were looking
for a new color man
on the broadcast.
- You?
- I mean,
- if you're open to it.
- Patrick, I, I'm
I'm not sure I see it.
- I work harder than anyone,
you know that.
- I know.
- I know you do.
- You know it. And, hey,
I'm not gonna be here
trying to take your job.
I-I'm not looking
for a bigger gig.
I just wanna, you know
I just wanna be around
the game, you know?
I still
I feel like I have
more to give to it.
I know I do.
Well, I gotta
I gotta run any new guy
through Buss. I mean,
- he's very particular.
- You're not gonna regret it.
- You won't regret it.
- The problem is your voice.
- My voice? Wh-what's, uh
- It's
It's faggy.
I'm not saying you are one.
I mean, you're a,
you're a man's man.
God knows.
But, I mean,
you close your eyes,
and you open up your ears,
and you-- (laughs)
you sound like a fruit.
Well, uh Shit, that's, uh
I mean, that's,
uh, something I can
- work on, isn't it?
- Yeah. You can work on that.
Hey, Chick,
all I'm asking is a shot.
Please.
(clears throat) Please.
Come on, I need this.
Alright. Uh
You know what, maybe
m-make me a tape, okay?
- I'll do it.
- No promises.
- No promises.
- Okay.
Hey, you won't be sorry.
- Alright. Make me a nice tape.
- Love the hair.
- You got it. Thanks.
- Thank you. Okay.
(high-pitched):
This is Pat Riley
for the LA Lakers.
(normal voice):
Yeah, I don't see it.
♪
Jerry Tarkanian:
Alright, let's go!
Okay, watch the rebound!
Footwork! Quick hands!
Quick hands! Take your shot!
Good job!
Use your footwork!
Alright, good job! Good job!
We're gonna come back down,
we're gonna do the zigzag.
Jesus, Tark, is your AC dead?
You're gonna give these
poor kids heat stroke.
Hey. Vic Weiss.
Nice to meet you.
Tark and I have been best
friends since grade school.
I've seen him rise up to
the top of the college game,
and I'm about to blow
his fuckin' mind.
(whispers):
The Lakers.
I know, I know.
It's bullshit and politics,
- but what do you call this, pal?
- We had to tape the vents.
Those NCAA scumbags
hid a camera.
I'm a persecuted man.
You're damn right,
you are.
In here coaching
like Anne Frank,
schvitzing your balls off.
The bags under your eyes
got bags under their eyes.
- You sound like Lois.
- That's because
she loves you, pal!
Like I do.
You're stuck here in a
fucking sand trap,
trying to defend your name,
and for what?
For this amateur baloney?
Cash your chips in.
Get what you deserve
for once.
- Player: Open!
- Shit, let me hear
him out at least.
How much are you in for?
What? (stammers) Look,
- this is for you!
- Look,
if you need
a little scratch
I'm tellin' you,
I'm good. I'm
I'm great.
Good.
So am I.
- Okay!
- (clapping)
Okay, good job! Take it again!
(mellow jazz playing)
(Shave and a Haircut knock)
Coming!
(laughs)
I'm here for Dr. Buss.
Hi, sorry. He just started on
his hair so it could be a while.
- Do you want to come in?
- Right on.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
Dr. Buss got game of his own.
- I'm Jeanie.
- Oh! Earvin. Sorry. (laughs)
(laughs) You kidding?
I-I know who you are.
Do you want a Coke or something?
Uh yeah, yeah. Cool.
Thanks. So, uh
you live here with Dr. Buss?
Well, technically
I still live with my mom,
but she's down in Del Mar,
and I'm part-time at 'SC,
so I stay here
the nights she lets me.
Which isn't enough.
- Cheers.
- (clink)
So your mom,
she's cool you staying here
with Dr. Buss and all?
Oh yeah. Yeah,
they split up ages ago,
so they're basically
just friends now.
Your moms was with him, too?
He's my dad.
(both laugh)
I'm sorry.
You know, you just hear
about stories about LA
and all that and
Right on. Right on.
Jerry Buss:
Is that LA's new
favorite son I hear?
- Johnson: Dr. Buss?
- Ha, ha! How you doin'?
- How was the trip?
- It was good.
So sorry I couldn't be
there to meet you myself,
- but I hope you
liked that driver.
- Yeah, yeah. Smooth ride.
So, I hope you
brought your appetite
- 'cause I was thinking fondue.
What do you think?
- Johnson: Yeah.
- (phone ringing)
- Jeanie, can you get that?
- Look, I was talking to Norm
- Jerry: Uh-huh.
- and he was talking
to Coach West.
- Jerry: Right.
- and--
- Jeanie Buss: It's for you, Dad.
Mr. Sharman.
I'm so sorry.
Hold that thought, Earvin.
I got to take this one. Yeah.
Thank you. Hello, Bill!
Uh-huh. No, we're about
to get some lunch.
What do you mean,
not interested?
Oh, give me a fucking break.
With all due respect, Bill,
it's the fuckin' Lakers.
- Bill, what did I say?
- (bangs phone)
I said, if you can solve
this on the phone, great.
If you can't,
I'm going to Vegas,
so that's what I'm doing now.
Yes, right now!
Well, if you can be
at the Van Nuys airport
in 20 minutes,
then you can come
with me. Goddammit.
(laughs) Unbelievable.
- Is everything alright?
- Oh yeah,
everything's copacetic.
Nothing for you to worry about.
I've got to go to Vegas.
Right, well, I did wanna
talk to you about something.
Yeah, and I wanna talk
to you, too. Jean Bean,
will you take our
new friend out for lunch,
go to the Derby
or something fun?
- I'll be right back,
buddy! I promise!
- (slam)
- (crowd cheering)
- Lakers win! Lakers win!
(chanting continues)
(flashbulb pops)
♪
Aw, shit.
Fuckin' Super Glue, my ass.
- Fucking Fuck!
- (thud)
Fuckin'
- (metallic thud)
- Fuck you, too.
Now, what did it
ever do to you?
I'm sorry.
Who the fuck are you?
We met a few times.
Jack McKinney.
I'm the assistant coach
in Portland.
Oh, yeah, right.
Doc Ramsay's guy.
He lets me out of the house
sometimes. Have a minute?
Look, if you're here about
the coaching job,
I'm not the guy to talk to.
I'm out the fuckin' door.
Yeah, that's why
Bill called me down.
For what?
- For my job?
- I guess they're
seeing a few people.
To be honest,
I have reservations.
Well, fuck,
goddammit, so do I.
I mean, you're
you're a number two!
I mean, this is head coach
of the fuckin' Lakers.
Hell of a team.
No doubt about it.
But, uh
Well, I've had
a few head coaching
offers in the past,
none of them quite
what I'm looking for.
My wife says I'm too picky.
Always waiting for
some perfect situation
that won't ever come around.
Wai-- (laughs)
Back the fuck up. Wha--
What isn't perfect
about this job?
Jack McKinney:
Well, that's what
I wanted to ask you.
It looks great on paper.
The squad's loaded, but here
you are walking out the door.
- That's my business.
- I just wonder if you're
bumping on personalities.
You know, new owner, big star
like Kareem stuck in his ways,
maybe that's the reason
your offense got so stagnant.
- Stagnant? No
- You know,
"dump the ball in post,
watch the big man go to work."
- Dependable, conventional.
- Conventional?
I'd want to try something,
I don't know, a lot more
- More
- Uh
I don't know.
A lot more unique.
- Unique, yeah? Doc t--
- Bill Sharman: Hey, Jack!
- Thanks for coming down.
- Oh, thanks for having me,
Bill. Jerry.
Hey, thanks for
the conversation.
I-I hope we can
finish it sometime.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Sharman: You know Chick.
- Hey, Jack. How are you?
Good to see you, pal.
- Hey, Chick. Good to see you.
No, no, no, no, Bill.
I mean, what the fucking
fuck of a fuck, dude.
I mean, that guy's
a fuckin' nobody.
Yeah. Well, he's a backup.
Buss has his heart
set on Tarkanian.
You gotta be dry-fucking-
humping me, dude!
- No!
- You want my job, Jerry?
Oh, that's right.
You picked this week to retire.
But, I gotta thank you.
See, I'm learning that life,
like basketball,
it's a game of control.
Knowing what you can
and what you can't.
For instance,
I can't control you.
- That--
- I mean, I can't
control Dr. Buss,
and I can't control
who he wants to
replace you with.
- (thud)
- Boom.
That's all I got, Jerry.
Unless you wanna reconsider.
Fuck no, Bill.
Then finish packing.
- (blinds rattling, knocking)
- (whispers): What the fuck is--
Hey, you! ♪
♪
Can't we come together ♪
Johnson:
Woo!
Hey, I ain't never been to
no premiere before. Hoo-hoo!
Yeah, that don't surprise me.
Do they got popcorns
like at a regular movie?
I'm about to kick
your ass outta my car
you don't stop acting
like a bumpkin.
And don't go
getting fucked up
over the celebrity
bullshit neither
because most of these stars
out here broke as fuck,
perpetrating like
they living the dream.
- (laughs)
- No, you gotta do it like
Jim Brown or OJ do.
Stay righteous, brother.
- Yeah, yeah. Right on. Right on.
- (laughs)
So, uh
What?
Your man Buss leave you hangin'?
He had to go to Vegas.
Mm-hmm.
What that mean?
(chuckles) Nothin', man. Look.
Glad you could make it,
young buck.
Me, too. Me, too.
(crowd chatter)
♪
- I'm about to have fun.
- Nixon: Hey.
- (shutter snapping)
- Johnson:
Walking the red carpet!
Nixon:
Remember that little
chat we had, okay?
Stay cool as a fan, yeah?
- Look at this.
- (shutters snapping)
- See, stop it. Look.
Strike one. Hey!
- (shutter snaps)
- Hello, fellas.
- Damn! Lookin' sharp.
Where is everybody?
The press should be
all up on my ass.
Shit, ain't everybody out this
motherfucker a budding all-star.
This shit cool, Storm.
Can't wait to see my man
up on the big screen.
- Hey, thank you.
- Uh, which one of you
is on the Rams?
- None. We're Lakers.
- Right.
- Well, let's get a photo anyway.
- Nixon: Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Hold on.
Ring check, ring check.
(crowd shouting)
Oh! Thank you so much!
Here we go.
- (shouting continues)
- Woman: Mrs. Cosby!
Oh! Look, y'all,
it's Fat Albert!
I'm gonna slide out
real quick, fellas.
Do my thing.
- Hey, say hey to Bill for me.
- Nixon: Shut up.
(crowd clamoring)
(quietly):
Man.
Magic motherfuckin' Johnson.
(laughs) Shit.
Nigga, Michigan State?
You made me so much
fuckin' money that game.
Stomping all up and down on
that sorry-ass Larry Bird.
- Right on, brother.
- Yeah, baby.
You's a bona fide
Civil Rights hero.
Making that ugly-ass white boy
cry on national TV? Shit!
I bet they were celebrating that
shit in the jungles of Africa.
- Man, stop! Stop, man.
I just be playin' ball, man.
- Yeah, man!
- Oh, you just be
playin' ball, huh?
- Yeah!
Well, my name is Zastro,
and everybody around
this motherfucker
likes to call me
Zastro. (laughs)
Nice to meet you, Zastro.
Well, dig this here.
I got this little thing
that I do.
It's over off of Crenshaw.
It's a little after-hours.
Do a little dancin',
do a little gamblin', and, uh,
the best damn poontang
♪
LA has to offer.
Close your mouth,
my brother.
Take this card.
Earvin, we gotta
get to our seats.
What's going on, Silk?
♪
(laughs) Walk with me.
What, y'all know
each other?
Dude's shady.
Lots of those out here.
He ain't got shit
to lose. You do.
Good lookin' out, brother.
- (laughter)
- (cheering in movie)
Man (in movie):
Gimme that puss
(whisper):
Oh, it's coming up right now.
don't use it here,
sittin' on your butt! Nixon!
Was that you or
Wait, wha--
Where's the rest of it?
Back of your head
look good, man.
They oughta give
that afro an Oscar.
- (buzzer in movie)
- Nixon: Ain't that some
some bullshit right there?
(movie continues)
(16mm projector running)
(projector continues)
McKinney:
Pick it up!
That ball does not
wanna just sit
in someone's hands.
- It wants to move.
- (blows whistle)
It wants to flow,
like water.
Let's get a move on!
Push it faster, go!
Yeah.
Like what he did there.
He ain't bad. He ain't--
he ain't fuckin' bad at all.
Look at that.
Never stops going.
- (whistle blows)
- He's pretty fucking good.
Gail!
Where is the Portland finals?
(clicks off)
- Gail!
- (knocks)
Hey. They told me you retired.
- You're not Gail. (laughs)
- No.
- I'm just borrowing
her eye shadow.
- (laughs)
- What's your excuse?
- Huh?
Oh, fuck hell,
I'm out the door.
No, I'm just, uh
Yeah, Bill's just got me
helping out on the job hunt.
Well, you can put in
a good word for me.
(laughing)
- To coach?
- That'd be a kick.
- Right? (laughs)
- Seriously?
No.
No, Chick's, uh, is letting me
audition to be on the air.
Oh shit, Pat.
- What the fuck for? (sputters)
- Glutton for punishment?
I mean, I'm telling you,
I get my ass on a golf course,
I'm never setting
foot in here again.
No good fuckin' riddance, too.
Sayonara.
I said the same thing
about volleyball.
Month on the sand,
- I didn't know what I was
gonna do with my life.
- (laughs)
It's funny, you know.
It's not like it's
any big surprise, but
you spend your whole career
knowing it's all
gonna be over someday.
But you never really know what
over is going to feel like
until you're sittin'
on the beach.
You're a 34-year-old has-been.
And you realize,
"Holy shit. Man, I just
I turned into my old man."
(sighs)
But, hey. If I was you,
it'd be different.
Look at you.
You got to be Jerry West.
You know, that kind of respect,
that kind of appreciation,
I would be thrilled to
walk away into the sunset.
Instead
I'm practicing my velvet voice.
How do I sound?
Depressing.
(sighs)
(phone ringing)
Larry (on phone):
Hey, EJ! I miss you, man.
I got Junior!
Hey, man!
How you been?
Oh, boy's up this early?
He's not calling
from jail, is he?
Tell Mama I ain't
calling from no jail.
Well, what you been
doing out there?
I just went out to a movie
with the fellas last night.
Oh, you making friends then?
Yeah, Pop.
Good ones.
Hey. Zastro sent me.
Zastro:
Here you are, baby!
Welcome to Zastro's,
where we about to show you
the time of your life.
They told me Magic's outside.
(laughs)
That boy wore a prom suit
to pull some pussy.
Now, you might
know magic, nigga,
but she about to make
your dick disappear.
- (laughing)
- Johnson: But, you know,
only thing on my mind
right now is ballin'.
(moaning)
- Oh, d-did he find a church yet?
- Johnson: Yes, ma'am.
Got hands laid on me
and everything.
Oh, good.
Johnson Sr.:
Hope you're eating, too,
'cause your mama's been
cooking up a storm for us
- like it's a repast.
- Yeah, I'm eating real good.
(moaning)
- Tell him she made pot roast.
- Quincy: Hey, Pops.
Can I talk to him?
I wanna tell him about that
new Tasty Ice flavor.
- We got two flavors!
- Christine: We have to go.
- (moans)
- Hey, we must be gettin'
off right now, son.
- We going to church. Love you.
- Sister: Tell him we say bye!
Family: We love you!
Love you! Love you!
- Out the door! Out the door!
Let's go. Let's go.
- Johnson Sr.: Let's go--
(dial tone)
They sure are.
(hangs up phone)
(ballroom music playing)
♪
People think some things in
life are out of their control.
Your hair falls out
the loan comes due,
the coach quits,
and the guy you want
to replace him with
is playing hard to get.
Nothing you can do!
(spraying)
But I don't buy into that.
I'm a math guy.
For every problem,
there is a solution.
Just have to
find it.
(spraying)
Well, no, actually,
I don't have a table,
but I-I know Jerry Tarkanian
is having dinner here,
and that's who I'm here to see,
so I'm Dr. Jerry Buss.
(laughs)
I own the Los Angeles Lakers.
Maybe you've heard of them.
- Yeah, I lost 10 G's
on you motherfuckers.
- (tires screech)
Oh! He's with me!
He's with me.
- Doorman: Hey. Sorry.
- Joey, gentile.
- Mr. Mariani. I didn't know.
- (car door shuts)
Don't worry about it.
- See you later, Joey.
- You just gave him my whole wad.
Yeah, I'm sure he earned it.
♪
And I kicked and screamed,
"I like it here.
I don't wanna go
to Los Angeles."
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Next thing you know,
I fall in love with the place.
Tark, will you
listen to the guy?
What am I doing here?
I'm eating.
I'm listening.
I'm getting heartburn.
I do appreciate your gumption.
You know,
showing up like this.
I'm not going anywhere.
Johnny, you know that pomodoro
- I got coming for Lois?
- Yes, sir.
- Can we put a fucking
rush on that?
- Johnny: Absolutely.
- (mouthing)
- Tarkanian: And I'll take
an espresso, please.
It's on the house, Coach.
Go Rebels.
See, now this is
the kind of love
that you guys,
you want me to leave, right?
For what?
- These fucking phonies
in Hollywood?
- Tark
What you got here,
it's magnificent.
Of course, they love you.
But LA is gonna love
you even more.
- They are.
- Jerry: So, let me take
what you do here.
the speed,
that fucking
lightning offense,
let me put it on
the biggest stage there is.
Don't hide your light
under a bushel, Jerry.
You know what you got?
A really amazing
head of hair.
- Really?
- Truly.
You know, I spent
so many years waging war
on this fucking thing.
Like the Battle of
the fucking Bulge.
This guy even got
his friend to come over
- Pedro.
- and teach me how to
comb it over.
- (laughs)
- Took an hour
every day.
Still wound up looking
like a plate of spaghetti,
and I wasn't
fooling anybody.
Now, I got a crew cut.
- Jerry Buss: Looks good.
- Lois thinks I look
like a Basset hound.
(laughs)
But at least,
I don't feel like a fraud.
I'm a college coach.
That's what I am.
- W-w-what Tark's
trying to say
- Mick!
He's just saying
he's real comfortable,
and it would take a lot to, uh,
you know, make him move forward.
Okay. How much?
How much?
Jerry, let's just--
let's just say it.
- Say what we think. How much?
- Vic Weiss: Let's
spitball. Uh, at least
two, three times what
he's earning here in Vegas.
- How about 10 times as much?
- (coughing)
- Okay?
- That's a lot of money, Jerry.
- (fork clinks)
- That's $750,000 by the way.
And that's over how long?
Per year, every year.
Which, if I'm not mistaken,
would make you
the highest-paid
coach in sports.
Jerry, I didn't come here
to fuck around.
I came here to make
you a solid offer.
- You know, it's a lot
of driving out in LA.
- Tarkanian: Vic
And he'd need a new car.
You know, something reliable.
Luxurious.
I got a dealership--
Get two. Get one
for Lois as well,
so she can do her errands.
- It's Rolls-Royce.
- Jerry: Of course,
it's Rolls-Royce.
You think I'm gonna
put 'em in a Pontiac?
You see what the fuck
I'm dealing with over here?
Hey, why don't you throw
in the whole stadium?
- Tark the Shark!
- So, did we just make a deal?
That's what it
sounded like to me.
Couple cars, 750.
Are we done?
'Cause I would love to trade in
this sludge for some bubbly.
- Champagne, sir.
- Jerry Buss: Ha! Jesus.
You do get good service here.
From the gentlemen.
Salut!
(gunshots)
♪
(cork pops, gunshot echoes)
- Let's make this happen
for everybody, alright?
- Weiss: Yeah.
- Yeah, we'll definitely do that.
- Good seeing you.
Thanks a lot.
You've given us
a lot to think about.
- Jerry, it was nice to meet you.
- (door shuts, tires squeal)
Was it just me, or did
we just get kiboshed
- by a bottle of champagne?
- (laughs) Wasn't the bottle.
Who were those guys?
Come on.
Who do you think?
- Bing-bing-bing-bing.
- Yeah.
Yeah. So, you know what?
We ought to kiss
their pinky rings
because they just saved
us 750,000 fassule.
How are we gonna come up
with that kind of scratch?
Let me worry about the money.
You find out what
the hell happened.
- Call a cousin or something.
- I can't call--
We're not letting
this slip away!
Pay who you gotta pay.
Just make it happen.
(Indian sitar playing)
Instructor (on tape):
Fight the habit of retreating
to your head voice.
Set your chest voice free.
Oh oh!
Instructor:
Performing vowel sounds.
(sighs)
Red baby buggy bumpers.
Red baby buggy bumpers
Franklin threw Fred
three free throws.
Franklin threw
Fred three three flows
Franklin threw Fred
three three fl-- Shit!
Instructor:
Expel the air in your lungs
in one large breath.
(tape stops)
(sighs)
Hm, hm, hm, hm!
(click)
Let's do this, let's do this.
- (clears throat) Okay.
- (clap)
Lights out, folks.
- (whirring)
- (clapping)
♪
Riley with the ball
shakes his shadow,
pulls up for the jumper.
Good!
Two points Kentucky.
Riley with the rebound
and the outlet.
Damp here on the break.
Score!
What a duo.
That's a one-two punch
if I've ever seen one, folks.
Hard foul by Riley.
Took a little
wild out of those cats.
Alright, Riley, number 42,
pops it loose
and breaks away.
West, the trailer,
shoots Scores!
'Cause he's Jerry West.
One of the best, folks,
one of the best to ever live.
And here comes f
Pat Riley, folks, the
faggy-voiced washout
with no future,
who no one thinks
will amount to any--
(tape stops)
Ah!
(sighs)
I used to be married
to a professional athlete,
so I guess we're even.
(chain rattling)
What if you just cleared out
all that ivy and this stuff,
and then I could
see patients in here?
(melancholy music playing)
♪
(straining)
- (groans)
- (thud)
- Ah! Fuck.
- (music stops)
(chainsaw roaring)
♪
(ding)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(frantic jazz playing)
(music stops)
Mmm.
(sighs)
(scoffs) Jesus.
Hmm.
Did you get it out
of your system?
(gasps) Those fucking roots.
- (chainsaw buzzing)
- (screaming)
- Are you feeling bleeding?
- I'll stitch it up.
Just can't stop thinking
about my dad. (sighs)
Four games in the majors.
One hit.
He spent the rest of his life
trying to get back to the plate.
- Fuck!
- (can clanging)
(cutlery clinking)
Chris: You know,
every patient asks me
how they turned out
like their parents.
- (fire crackling)
- (bat bouncing)
I've never had a single one
prepared to do the work
to turn out differently.
All I've ever done is work.
I worked my whole life.
- Chris, that's all I've done.
- Mm.
Day and night, I work.
Every time I leave the--
I'd leave the court,
and I'd see him in
my mind's eye.
fucking beer in his hand,
sitting in that
ugly fucking chair.
And I'd work harder.
- At basketball.
- Yeah. What else?
(sighs) God.
There's a reason that
we bury the dead, honey.
Indians burn bodies
and Vikings send them
out to sea. It's for
the living.
So that we can move on
with our lives.
You wanna send me out to sea?
Sometimes, I really do.
(laughs)
(laughs)
I just really want you
to find something else.
Is that your big audition tape?
Yeah.
How'd it go?
It's terrible.
Alright.
Well then
Work harder.
(crowd cheering)
College Student 1:
What's it like out there?
College Student 2:
Tell Diana Ross I love her hair.
Hey, y'all.
It's for you.
Bye!
Should've known.
Ten girls gathered around,
it's gotta be Earvin.
Now, you know I only
kept them on the line
so I could talk to you.
Young Johnson:
Oh, everybody's going wild!
Johnson makes the shot!
He wins the finals! Woo!
Johnson:
I don't know, Cook.
The whole thing out here,
ain't like how I thought
it was gonna be.
Feel kind of small.
Like Norm.
He talk like he hot shit,
but he got all
these side hustles.
Got a store here,
a few words in a movie there,
and they all fine with it.
It's just I don't know.
You want more.
Johnson:
Of course.
They out here treating us
like we The Sylvers,
when I'm trying to be
the Jackson Five.
(scoffs) Michael, at that.
Johnson:
(laughs) Damn straight.
And I ain't talkin'
no Tito or Jermaine.
- (laughs)
- Johnson: But, Cook,
you shoulda seen the way that
they was up on Cosby last night.
All these eyes and cameras.
He was gettin' all the love.
If you think
that's love, Earvin.
Tsk. There you go.
Just sayin'.
- Johnson: Well,
what you expect?
- (laughs)
If it was up to me,
I'd have the real thing
right here with me.
- I got a test in the morning.
- Johnson: Come on, Cook.
I got a orange tree
right outside my door.
- Good night, Earvin.
- Good night, Cook.
(smooth R&B playing)
(fire crackling)
Karen:
Mm. I was thinking a vase
or maybe an orchid.
But that's the perfect touch.
Mm-hmm.
I'll get it out of here.
- No rush.
- That's that
for basketball.
(inhales)
Now what?
Well,
I had some ideas.
♪
Mm-hmm?
- Oh!
- Oh
Such as
♪
(exhales)
♪
Oh, come on.
(moaning)
Jerry: Here.
(heavy breathing)
Hang on. You should go
get your diaphragm on.
Or not.
We could make
something new.
Together.
♪
(heavy breathing)
(both moaning)
- Bill! Bill!
- Sharman: Not now, Jerry.
- Not now!
- Don't fucking "not now" me.
I saw the progression, Bill.
This guy McKinney is
a fucking idiot savant.
I mean,
first year he came in,
he turned that team in
Portland right around
- as an assistant.
- Yep.
I did. I spoke to Ramsay.
It was his X's and O's.
I mean, he took a squad of
spare parts and turned them into
a fucking Rolex, made 'em
tick right to the title.
They call it "retired"
for a reason, Jerry.
- Dr. Buss!
- Huh?
This coaching thing.
I got your guy.
Too late!
Already got my own guy.
Deal's already done.
Tark's driving out to meet me
at the Bay Club. Hey, hon?
Come on with me,
and I'll drop you off
at your mother's
when I get him
on the dotted line.
Jerry.
Thank you for
your service.
And, hey,
what do you know?
I only have to change
one name on the door.
(laughs)
That's what you call a mitzvah!
That means good luck in Jewish.
Congratulations.
You're done.
Lois:
Oh here, I found it.
2,500 square feet,
three bedrooms,
two and a half baths.
You gotta think big, Lois!
Something in the hills.
- You know, the stilts.
- Lois: I'm not
vacuuming a mansion.
They got Mexicans
for that!
- Woman (on phone):
Hello, Vic?
- Hey ya, Rose.
- Rose: Oh, hi, Tark.
- Vic there? We're on the road.
Rose: He didn't
come home last night.
You haven't heard from him?
He hasn't called you?
Well, you know Vic.
He probably slept at the office.
Anyway, we'll see him there.
Alright. Love you, Rose.
Lois:
Honey, this one
looks really good.
- (engine roars)
- Oh, honey! (laughs)
It's a good life ♪
To be free
and explore ♪
Jerry:
We're gonna win
it all this year.
I can see it.
Tark is the last piece.
He's gonna be
worth every penny.
And it's a lot of pennies,
let me tell you.
Are you sure we can afford it?
Afford what?
Well, I-I overheard
you and Grandma.
- And Claire is worried
- (laughs)
because there's not that
much coming in so far.
goodbye ♪
You see that
airplane up there?
You know how an airplane flies?
Like the actual physics of it?
Well, let me tell you.
It falls. No shit.
It falls out of the sky,
just fast enough
with enough velocity
that it doesn't smash
into the ground,
and then your wheels just touch,
and you're right
where you wanna be.
♪
But, you can't tell
the paying customers that
because you can't sell tickets
falling to New York.
And in case
you wonder why ♪
Jerry: But, kiddo,
you can't get anywhere
in this world
if you are afraid to fall.
Okay?
Alright.
So, quit worrying.
I brought you with
for good luck.
- (phone ringing)
- The good life ♪
To be free and explore ♪
- (siren wailing)
- (phone ringing)
The unknown ♪
- Like the heartaches ♪
- (phone ringing)
When you learn ♪
- Tarkanian: Hello?
- Rose: (crying) Jerry?
- Tarkanian: Rose?
- Rose: They
(sniffs) They found him.
They found Vic!
Please, remember,
I still want you ♪
And in case
you wonder why ♪
Well, just wake up ♪
Kiss that good life
goodbye ♪
(vocalizing)
('70s pop song playing)
♪
Let me tell you a story ♪
About time trouble and me ♪
Time was
something I wasted ♪
And trouble's
all I could see ♪
Standing there
by the mountain ♪
I knew what
I had to be ♪
Be the king
of a mountain ♪
And live a life to be free ♪
Eagles fly
to the mountains ♪
Like rivers
flow to the sea ♪
People make
their own wind now ♪
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
You're the king
of the mountain ♪
You'd better
understand this ♪
You're the king
of the mountain ♪
It's something
that you can't miss ♪
Eagles fly to
the mountain ♪
Like rivers
flow to the sea ♪
The people chose
their own wind now ♪
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪