Wonderfalls s01e03 Episode Script
Wound up penguin
1 - Previously on Wonderfalls.
- Don't give her money back.
Are you God? Are you Satan? If you don't say something in the next five seconds, I'm gonna assume you're Satan.
Yeah, her name's Heidi.
She was my college sweetheart.
Married in Jersey.
Honeymoon in Niagara.
It was like a fairy tale.
Until I caught her with the bellman in our room.
- Sweet.
- Honey? I'm almost numb enough to start something on the rebound.
What do you say? I may be clinically insane.
You might wanna hold out for someone a little more stable.
I don't think that'd be as interesting.
[Lion.]
? Take one down, pass it around? Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer on the wall Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer on the wall Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer ? Take one down, pass it around? ? Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall? ? Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall? - [All Singing.]
? Eighty-eight bottles ofbeer? - This is what cults do, you know.
Deprive their converts of sleep so they'll be confused and vulnerable and more likely to do the stupid things you ask them to do.
- Like drink the Kool-Aid.
- ? Take one down, pass it around? [Sighs.]
Is that what you're working up to? - ? Eighty-six bottles of beer on the wall? - Oh, God! - ? Eighty-six bottles of beer? - But you couldn't off me 'cause then I wouldn't be around to do your bidding, right? ? Eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall? Is there some sort of leader I could speak with? - ? Eighty-five bottles of beer? - Leader? Hello? - ?? [Singing Continues.]
- Anyone want to let me in on the plan? 'Cause I'm assuming there's a plan or reason for all this.
- Anyone? - ? Eighty-four bottles ofbeer? - Fine.
- ? Take one down, pass it around? Don't reveal yourself.
Just keep singing.
Keep me - Ooh.
Beer.
- ? Eighty-three bottles ofbeer?? [Chattering.]
- Oh, thank God.
- What is it that bartenders say? You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
I'm workin' on my timing.
Are you gonna say it to me too? Please don't.
'Cause if you kick me out, I'll have to wander the streets till morning.
We are kind of closed.
But I'll see what I can do.
I can imbibe quickly if you need to go home.
Funny thing about that.
So you live in the back room.
Technically, it's where I sleep.
I'm not sure where I live.
Although I'm pretty sure I don't live in New Jersey anymore.
Weren't you staying in some honeymoon suite somewhere? Mm.
Once they figured I wasn't gonna sue, they stopped comping my room.
You should absolutely go litigious on their asses.
One of their employees ruined your marriage and arguably your life.
Yeah, but if Heidi had stuck with the hospitality basket or a more traditional definition of the term "room service" we'd both be back in NewJersey right now starting our married life together.
One bad day and everything changes.
One bad 'sode, and not only does everything start changing but everything starts talking to you.
Huh.
I don't get it.
I'm not sure I get it either.
So, I like your new place.
It has a certain hobo charm.
I don't know about charm, but it does have rats.
The old expression of mice and "quiet as" doesn't apply to rats.
Just be grateful they're not keeping you up at night with incessant chatter.
- [Thudding.]
- I think they heard us talking about them.
- [Thudding.]
- Over there! - Wait, wait! - What? Okay.
[Clattering.]
Wha-What? - [Gasps.]
- [Both Yelling.]
- [Groaning.]
- Whoa! [Groaning Continues.]
- Big, big rat.
- [Door Closes.]
Hmm.
?? [Woman Singing Rock.]
[Eric.]
I remember seeing her in here a few nights back.
She had the turkey club, extra-well-done fries and a side of cheese.
She had a side of cheese? Didn't even eat it.
Just looked at it, then skipped out on her tab.
Well, didn't skip too far.
I wonder how long she's been holed up in that barrel.
Maybe it's her crack barrel! Do you think she's in there free-basing? I don't see a pipe.
Either way, she's pretty resourceful for a homeless person.
[Sniffs.]
Clean too.
Do you think she's a tourist? Came to Niagara to see the falls and ended up taking a fall.
All it takes is one bad day.
Shall we call the police? Nah.
Just toss her crap in the lost and found.
Except the coat.
We should probably just, you know - Bring her back.
- Bring her back? - Bring her back.
- Bring her back? - Bring her back? - Bring her back.
No.
Well, I mean, why? - I don't know.
It's your idea.
- It's not my idea.
- It wasn't you? - It wasn't a suggestion.
- It wasn't? - Uh-uh.
I suppose we could try to find her, I guess.
She still owes for that turkey club and the owner's only letting me stay here 'cause I work here and Oh.
- I get it.
- You do? Even though I may only have a cot and large sacks of dried beans I still have more than this woman does.
Did I say that? This poor woman might be in some kind of trouble.
Now she's out there without her coat.
- Okay.
Now you've made me feel guilty.
- Right.
Guilt.
So you're saying we should track her down, get her her stuffback? Right.
No, wait.
What are we doing? You know, a lot of people wouldn't have thought of that.
They'd havejust made sure the door was locked behind her.
You're like You're like a saint.
Well So what do we do? - Uh - We know she's been to the train station.
We could start there.
We could do that.
- [Indistinct Announcements.]
- So, do you do this sort of thing a lot going out of your way to help people you don't even know? - Uh, I wouldn't say "a lot.
" - Me either.
Heidi wouldn't allow it.
She always said I shouldn't open my mouth to strangers.
Ironic.
You know, considering.
Yeah.
[Laughing.]
You miss her? I don't know.
You gotta miss your life a little.
I guess I'm still trying to figure out where that is.
[Man On P.
A.
.]
Train to Paterson, NewJersey, with stops at Hoboken West Orange and Trenton, departing Platform 9.
- Next.
- Hi.
- We're looking for someone.
- We think she may be in trouble.
Blonde, a little taller than me though possibly in a fetal position.
Or maybe running away from something.
Or she might have been looking over her shoulder possibly running away from something.
This is her stub.
She arrived eight days ago.
Anything you could remember would be great.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, I think I do remember.
Yeah, this ticket It had another half to it.
A ticket half.
Yeah, that's all I got.
Next.
[Eric.]
Okay, that went well.
We're like the worst detectives ever.
I don't know what we expected him to tell us.
Could've told you about the man in black.
What? Let's just say you two aren't the first ones that have been sniffing around here lookin' for that little girl.
- You remember her? - Oh, yeah.
She slept on that bench three nights in a row.
I'd watch over her you know, a little, as much as I could until he showed up, and she'd scurry out of here like a rat come daylight.
The man Do you remember what he looked like? A strange-lookin' sort.
Dressed in all black.
I remember thinkin' that ifJohnny Cash had been born an Irishman his music would have been more lilting.
Whoever he was, I hope you find her before he does.
Uh, I don't think there is a next move.
Our moves are done.
I mean, what more could we possibly do? Maybe this man in black is the one we should be trying to find.
I just think it'd be a little like looking for an Irish Johnny Cash in a haystack.
- Excuse me.
- Call you back.
May I help you? I see you have several public notices in your window.
I wonder if you might add this one.
I'd be so grateful.
And then he smiled.
- Ew! - Right.
Katrina.
That's her name.
No last name.
She's a prostitute.
And he's her pimp.
Her goth pimp.
She's trying to leave the lifestyle, and he won't let her.
- What are you doing? - Calling Johnny.
- [Man On Phone.]
Hillcrest.
- Hello.
Extension 231, please.
- [Indistinct.]
- Room 231? [Indistinct.]
Hillcrest Hotel.
231 is a room number.
At least he's not living in a barrel.
- [Auto-Dialing, Line Ringing.]
- Who are you calling now? - [Man On Phone.]
Hillcrest.
- Hi.
Me again.
Yeah, a cat stepped on the phone.
Can you tell me if anyone's staying in the room next to 231? [Man On Phone, Indistinct.]
[Whispering.]
I don't hear anything.
Do you hear anything? What if we're too late? What if he's beat her to death with a bag of oranges for withholding trick money? If she had any money, I don't think she'd be living in a barrel.
I wouldn't be.
Yes, but maybe she's just a lazy whore.
That happens, right? They can't all have hearts of gold and good work ethics.
And come on.
This place does have a certain pay-by-the-hour vibe.
It's just a transient hotel for people who aren't sure whether they're coming or going.
People that need hot plates and kitchenettes and all the other trappings of creative nonpermanence.
You sound like a brochure.
[Gasps.]
Yes! [Whispering.]
Are you getting anything on yours? No, nothing yet.
Maybe we need a new frequency.
You do realize, don't you, that nonpermanence doesn't have any trappings? That's what makes it nonpermanent.
That's what makes it nonpermanent.
I mean to say that something transitory and totally fleeting can't really trap you, right? Something just passing through town, for instance.
Something transitional.
Uh-huh.
Or someone.
[Woman Shouting.]
Stop! Stop! I can't do this! Let me go! I won't go back! I can't! Why can't you leave me alone! [Grunting.]
She said leave her alone! Now, how's about you listen? Don't hurt him.
He's a priest.
- You're a priest? - Father Scofield.
You're going to hell.
[Sirens Wailing.]
[Sirens Wailing.]
Father as in "Father, forgive me"? I'm not in a very forgiving mood right now.
Jackass.
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were not a priest.
Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to apologize.
What was all that "leave me alone" screaming about? - And you said "jackass.
" - Here.
Here.
Take it.
It's all I have.
It was just a turkey club, for the love of God.
- You don't have to hunt a person down.
- You stole food? I'm not proud.
How much was the club? It's not about sandwich money.
We're trying to help her.
Yeah, missionary man.
Where do you get offbrowbeating a hooker? Jesus was nice to prostitutes.
Sister Katrina isn't a prostitute.
Now I'm going to hell.
- You're a nun? - Not anymore.
I'm not goin' back there.
I can't.
I can't.
- Back where? - The convent.
Why not? Did you Agnes of God her? I bet he did.
I bet he Agnes of God-ed all over her.
- Would you shut up? - He didn't Agnes of God me.
Sister, everyone's very worried about you.
After 12 years, you don'tjust up and leave without explanation.
- What happened? - It doesn't matter! I'm not going back! - You can't stay here.
- Why the hell not? You can't force her to go.
She's standing there telling you she's not coming back.
To me, that means she's not coming back.
If the good sister wants to move on with her life I suggest you stand aside and let her move on.
Amen.
Amen.
Are you praying? Did they give you food shame at the convent? The food was glorious.
Sister Suzanne took Cuisines of the Americas.
Maybe now is a good time to come up with a plan.
- Can you type? - No.
So, is Sister Suzanne mean? She's a lovely person.
I always picture nuns being mean.
I do too, and I don't know why.
Well, it's probably because they Although you seem nice.
- Did the mean nuns pick on you? - No, nobody picked on me.
It was a sisterhood.
We all took the same vows.
I loved the convent.
We grew alfalfa in the fields.
Bring her back to him.
If you were so happy with the sisters in the field, why'd you leave? [Sighs.]
It was the cheese.
The cheese was my undoing.
This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries.
A bacterial flirtation with enzymes.
The comingling of friendly microorganisms giving birth to curds and whey.
"And from dust he created the universe.
" The Dairy Board must love you.
The microorganisms in this cheese tell me God exists.
This sack of meat that holds a soul tells me God exists.
God himself, however, hasn't told me anything.
Not really.
Not definitively.
And certainly not out loud.
You don't really want the out loud part, do you? I mean, it's gotta be upsetting.
I'm sure of it.
Not as upsetting as doubt.
It's a sin to live in his house when doubt lives in your heart.
And I know the exact moment it moved in.
I was in the kitchen nibbling on the fresh pecorino Sister Louise brought back from Italy and I thought, "What if it's just cheese? "What if I'm just cheese? "What if this sack of meat is just a bacterial flirtation and my soul is only a comingling of friendly microorganisms?" But God's your thing.
I mean, you grew alfalfa and took a vow.
How am I supposed to commit my life to something I'm not sure is real? - Bring her back to him.
- To who? To me.
He has to be real to me.
He has to show me.
Otherwise, I'm just praising the word of some phantom bully in the sky.
Bring her back to him.
Oh, Him.
With the big "H.
" I get it.
Who did you think we were talking about? She has to go back.
I know that guy I was with said whatever but I really think this is best, and something tells me you do too.
Geez, I don't know.
Is your little friend gonna beat me up? Yeah, he got excited there for a second, didn't he? But he doesn't have to know.
You're not leaving without her.
You're not leaving her with me.
Look.
I'm not a parole officer.
I can't drag her back kicking and screaming.
It doesn't look good for the church.
But she wants to go back.
She does.
She's just had too much cheese.
You see, it's all about doubt.
We gotta squash that doubt.
Would it help if she got rebaptized? It's holy water, not magic water.
What's the difference? One's faith.
The other one is fantasy.
One's faith.
The other one is fantasy.
You're telling me Sister Katrina has lost her faith.
Not lost.
Misplaced.
- Well, I can't find it for her.
- Well, I can.
- What are you - I'll take that challenge.
[Grunting.]
Just give me 24 hours and I'll have her singing "SweetJesus" all the doo-dah day long.
And you can bring her back to him.
All three hims: Jesus, God and the other one.
God has to talk to people.
How else would mankind know God's will? That's a very good point.
This is helping.
Say more.
You need to listen closely.
He has a theology degree.
Several, actually.
How many do you need? One more.
Leave me alone.
But just because a scripture says God's talking doesn't mean he's talk talking.
People tend to take license with that detail.
It's not always gonna be, "Hello, Jaye.
" Stop that.
Well, some folks believe that early man's gut instinct was God telling our ancestors to fight, flee or f-f fun have.
Although, several prominent serial killers claim that God gave them very specific instructions.
This isn't helping anymore.
Why'd you go to the serial killer place? Jaye-bird, sweetheart.
What a nice surprise! Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Hi.
I'm Karen Tyler.
Sister Ka Katrina.
Just Katrina.
You're a nun! Well, that's fantastic.
- Ex-nun.
It's just Katrina.
- Oh.
- You never said she was a nun.
- Ex.
Sweetheart.
Is this about your 'sode? Are you seeking counsel in the church? No.
Yes.
Yes, it's about my 'sode and my stress issue.
But thanks to God, I'm better every day, so you don't have to worry.
That's wonderful, darling.
You are aware nuns are Catholic? I like your monkey.
I stole it from my therapist's office.
Cheese? This is insulting to both of us.
It's a pre-made snack platter.
Fine.
I had a whole thing I was gonna say.
Got it out of a fondue cookbook.
Still wanna hear it? I don't need to.
I know why God doesn't talk to me.
He doesn't talk to anyone.
He can't.
Sure, he can.
He just doesn't wanna.
No, he just doesn't exist.
So do you not believe in anything anymore or is it just G-dash-D? Isn't G-dash-D supposed to be my everything? That's what I used to believe.
And since I can't believe that, there's nothing to believe in.
[Dog Barking.]
Okay.
Cone of silence? I believe in something.
Sort of.
And it does talk to me and may actually be God but has never said so specifically.
What is it? What talks to you? [Whispers.]
They do.
Go on.
Pull the other one.
It plays "Ave Maria.
" No, really.
They tell me to do things.
And if I don't, they sing and keep me up all night.
And then eventually I do what they say.
I don't even know what they are.
However, I do know they talk.
Or something talks through them.
Either way, it's not pleasant.
That doesn't sound like God.
That sounds like the devil.
Oh, good.
'Cause if you believe in the devil, you believe in God.
But which one is it? I don't know.
They won't say.
There's only one way to be sure.
Cast it out.
Can we do that? [Traffc Noises.]
[Chattering.]
Father, it's God's work.
No, it is this woman's work.
Yes, yes.
God kept you here.
He brought us here to perform his work forJaye.
Is that so? Katrina has been living in a nunnery these past 12 years.
Please bear in mind that I have not.
Her faith is back and possibly better than ever.
You should be thanking me.
And what is it that you're hoping to get from us by way of thanks? Well, since you mention it, there is one little thing.
An exorcism! I have to drink in here.
Are you out of your mind? I'm willing to try anything.
I mean, she's willing to try anything to help me which does help her with that one issue.
It's a big circle of help.
She's afflicted.
Demons live inside of her.
They talk to her, and they tell her to do things.
She needs our help to purge them.
Sadly, it's all true.
I don't know what you're after here, but I don't do exorcisms.
They're violent and dangerous and stupid.
Hey, Father, come on.
Let's not discourage her.
She's eager to do God's work.
Please? I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks.
Do this with me, Father, and I will willingly and joyously return to the convent with you.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know that.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know that.
Well, isn't it possible that the reason God never spoke to me is because he needed me to run away because he needed me to end up here because he needed you to follow me so you could use your expert knowledge to cast out demons from this poor girl's soul? Amen, Sister.
Could you give us a minute, please? There's something you should know about that girl.
I thought the priest was leaving town.
I asked him not to.
I thought we were on the same page with this thing.
Why would you do this? Why would you try to ambush her with the one person she doesn't want to see? - I thought you were on my side.
- I didn't ambush her.
I'm doing a good thing here.
Remember how much you like me when I do good things? She loves the nunnery.
She told me she was really happy there.
Was.
Was.
Past tense.
Things change.
People change.
And when other people try to force people not to change then the changing, which wasn't easy to begin with, just gets harder.
You made a bet? You lied to me.
I was wrong.
You're not hearing the devil.
You are the devil! Just so we're clear, calling a girl the devil in front of the boy she likes Not the best way to keep a friend.
You're not my friend.
You're a liar.
And so's the devil.
I'm not friends with the devil.
Or with liars.
Devil! I'm not a liar.
Not in this instance anyway.
You bet Father Scofield you could restore my faith in 24 hours and then you pretended to be my friend Are you Pentecostal? Are you trying to scare God into my dirty, sinful, hell-bound, unsaved heart? I didn't pretend to be your friend.
I was forced to be your friend.
- Those are two very different things.
- You're horrible.
You make up this story about demons talking to you through plastic animals when nothing talks to you, just like nothing talks to me.
- I didn't make anything up.
- Break the taillight.
Hah! You see? It's talking to me right now.
For God's sake.
Maybe.
Maybe it is for God's sake.
Break the taillight.
Except it's telling me to break a taillight.
Which is vandalism, which is the devil's work which is why one little exorcism isn't too much to ask.
Is this fun for you, torturing a wayward nun? Oh, yeah.
This is a laugh riot.
This is where I would most like to be right now standing in the freezing cold, being called a liar by a nun and coerced by a wax lion to commit crime.
This is so much fun.
- Great.
- What just happened? You bastard! I can't afford my insurance premiums as it is.
- Your car It broke the taillight.
- I know.
And since you and the priest aren't gonna be helping me the least you could do is not tell anyone.
[Door Closes, Engine Starts.]
[Crashes.]
[Gears Grinding.]
Hey, have you seen my sister? I need you to tell me everything you know about demonic possession.
Uh Trying to force a nun back to the convent when she doesn't want to go back is very unpriestly, even though it might sound priestly.
[Father Scofield.]
I'm not in the business of forcing anyone to do anything.
- That seems to be your game.
- What's that supposed to mean? Well, for example, right now, by the nature of our geography you're forcing me to have this conversation.
You're forcing me to force you! Someone has to stand up for Katrina! I mean, what's wrong with a person needing a little time to figure out their life? While you're figuring out whatever you're figuring out could you hand me some toilet paper, please? Thank you.
- Hi.
- Here you are, sweetheart.
Did your brother find you? No, but he'll find me when he comes home.
I'm sleeping here tonight.
Or trying to anyway.
You didn't redecorate my room with zoo-themed wallpaper, did you? - Why are you all dressed up? - We're going to church.
Is it Christmas? 'Cause if it is, it snuck up on me, and nobody's getting anything.
[Chuckles.]
It doesn't have to be Christmas for the Tylers to go to church.
- Is it Easter? - It's Wednesday.
We Presbyterians have Bible study on Wednesdays.
Your mother and I are tickled to death that you've turned to the Lord for guidance.
We just think it should be our Lord.
These priests could do anything.
You get pregnant out of wedlock, you must be possessed.
Bam! They tie you down tie you down and cast the demon out.
I'm just curious.
How exactly would they accomplish this sort of thing? Someone took her dreams away.
What was is no more.
I mean, it's not like she wanted to end up sleeping in a barrel.
- Who would? - Where did you say you sleep again? Yes, but in a bed.
And only 'cause my wife cheated on me and took my dreams away.
At least the ones that had to do with being married to her.
And now what Heidi was is no more so it doesn't even matter.
Are you confessing something? I didn't kill her.
I just left her.
Lost faith in her.
I lost faith in that whole other life and I don't know if I want it back.
Catholics aren't bad people.
Theyjust do things differently.
Their prayers have to go through saints and apostles and statues.
Presbyterian prayers go straight to the source.
Right toJ.
C.
[Aaron.]
And the Protestant rituals were even worse.
Cut them, burn them, bleed them until the body of the possessed was no longer a restful place for the demon to dwell.
Could you, uh, go back to the burning? [Father Scofeld.]
People sin.
People transgress.
Especially in love.
Hell, I transgressed indiscriminately before I was called by God.
But God forgave me those transgressions.
You're telling me to forgive my wife? "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
'" I didn't do anything wrong.
I shouldn't have to go to church.
That argument has never worked for you, sweetheart.
Didn't ever work for any of us.
Now, put your pillow in your room, and let's go worship.
They would chant the Lord's Prayer over and over and over until the demon knew the righteous were having none of him.
And then he'd, you know, I guess leave.
[Eric.]
So I should go back to her? You can forgive someone and still choose not to be with them.
It was a yes or no question.
I don't have a yes or no answer.
Well, she's certainly taking her time.
- [Door Opens, Closes.]
- That was the front door.
- [Car Starts, Tires Squeal.]
- And that's her driving away.
- You don't suppose she's meeting us there? - Mm-mmm.
[Gasps.]
Oh, good God! I'm sorry I called you a liar.
You're not a liar, Jaye.
- You're a child of God.
- Oh, good.
So you believe in God now? I brought you back to Him? Big "H"? - You most certainly did.
- Huh.
Well, smell me.
Better than I thought I was.
[Muffled Screaming.]
[Groaning.]
[Grunting.]
Don't you worry, Jaye.
I know what I'm doin'.
If we have to, we'll cut the devil out of you.
Hah! I exorcise thee, every unclean spirit uh, in the name of God the Father Almighty.
Katrina, untie me.
Untie me now.
Oh, I can't.
You'll be flailing soon.
I don't want you to do whatever it is you're gonna do that's gonna make me flail.
That's the demon talking.
Jaye wanted this.
Jaye, can you hear me? Be strong, Jaye! Be strong! He'll be gone soon! [Screaming.]
Help! - [Siren Wailing.]
- [Police Radio, Indistinct.]
Crap.
License and registration, please.
- Was I speeding, Officer? - Your left taillight's busted.
- Oh.
- [Woman On Police Radio.]
Unit 37, 10-16, 14 Pear Street.
It's a It's a rental.
Just a moment, please, Father.
Keep both hands on the wheel.
[Woman On Police Radio.]
Unit 17, 10-32 at Freedman and West Templar.
[Jaye.]
Katrina I anoint thee with the oil of salvation that thou mayest have life everlasting.
I should've listened to my mother.
She told me you people were crazy.
Keep fighting, Jaye.
I'm here for you! [Sputtering.]
- You have the right to remain silent.
- It's a broken taillight.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
[Reciting Latin.]
- Do you understand your rights? - It's a rental.
[Katrina Continues Reciting Latin.]
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit? What are you gonna do with that knife? Do you believe in the church, the communion of saints, the remission of sins? Do you believe in the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting? No! Yes! Can you repeat the second part? Heavenly Father, guide my hand.
Give me strength.
Talk to me.
[Sobbing.]
Tell me what to do.
Here's what to do.
Put down the knife.
- Untie me and put down the knife.
- No! You wanted this.
You asked for it.
No, I didn't.
Okay, I did.
But I didn't think it would be like this.
The voices, the animals I was just mad at them.
But they aren't demonic.
It just feels like that sometimes when they make me help people.
Please.
Katrina, please! Look at what you're doing! [Sighs.]
I'm just trying to get God's attention.
- [Pounding On Door.]
- Jaye Tyler, open up! Police! - Help! - We have a witness who saw your vehicle leaving the scene of an accident earlier today.
Miss Tyler, we know you're home.
We can see you.
- [Groans, Screaming.]
- Drop your weapon! [Gasps.]
It's not what it looks like.
You have to understand.
I would never hurt anyone.
I just I thought God was guiding me, but I was wrong.
I just I thought God was guiding me, but I was wrong.
Uh-huh.
You on any meds? No.
No.
[Phone Ringing.]
Oh, my God! They called you? - Excuse me? - I thought for sure you'd left town already.
- I was - Well, don't worry.
I'm not pressing charges.
She was just confused.
Plus, I did kind of encourage her to do it.
And you were right, by the way.
Exorcism? A very, very bad idea.
I have a child I didn't know about.
Come again? They're letting me go.
Father, I'm so sorry.
I should have listened to you.
- It's a girl.
- Huh? He has a kid he didn't know about.
But h-how? In the usual way.
I wasn't always a priest.
In my life before, there was a woman I had no idea.
She was on the pill.
She must have been looking for me all this time.
They pulled me over, uh, for a broken taillight.
When they ran my name I'm a deadbeat dad.
Broken taillight? [Woman.]
Uh, yes, we will.
Thank you.
Marta.
Joe.
Uh They said I probably shouldn't be talking to you.
No, you Of course you don't have to.
I'm sorry that I had to file the complaint.
I just didn't know what else to do.
I couldn't find you, so I guess I was looking in the wrong place.
Hey.
[Laughs.]
Joe, this is Sadie.
Hi, Sadie.
I'm Father I'm your father.
"Bring her back to him.
" Wow.
It's a miracle.
[Man On P.
A.
, Indistinct.]
[Man On P.
A.
, Indistinct.]
[Jaye.]
So, you wanna grab something before you hit the road? I saw a cheesy dog stand on the way in.
You like cheese.
Oh.
Trying to squeeze the demons out of me? Don't even joke about that.
A miracle happened because of you.
A miracle? I don't know.
A happy coincidence, maybe? Call it what you want, but I know what happened.
Here.
This'll get you back to the convent.
One-way ticket.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
[Man On P.
A.
.]
Sean Kirkpatrick, report to the information kiosk.
You got everything you need? - We're gonna miss you.
- Me too.
But God led me back here, and I've gotta trust that this is where I'm meant to be.
So, thanks for making me chase you to Niagara.
It was my pleasure.
Let's get you on the train.
Bye.
- So - So - Turns out you were right.
- Huh.
I almost never hear that sentence.
I'm sorry I got so weird.
I guess maybe I was projecting some of my issues on to her.
Ya think? Even though I feel like I have every right to be here I think I was also feeling a little guilty about not going back.
And now what does it feel like? [Man On P.
A.
.]
Train 5-B to Paterson, NewJersey with stops at White Plains, Hoboken and Trenton leaving in five minutes from Gate 3.
Feels like there's a train every hour.
- Want a cheesy dog? - Love one.
?? [Woman Singing Soul.]
?? [Ends.]
[Cackling.]
- Don't give her money back.
Are you God? Are you Satan? If you don't say something in the next five seconds, I'm gonna assume you're Satan.
Yeah, her name's Heidi.
She was my college sweetheart.
Married in Jersey.
Honeymoon in Niagara.
It was like a fairy tale.
Until I caught her with the bellman in our room.
- Sweet.
- Honey? I'm almost numb enough to start something on the rebound.
What do you say? I may be clinically insane.
You might wanna hold out for someone a little more stable.
I don't think that'd be as interesting.
[Lion.]
? Take one down, pass it around? Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer on the wall Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer on the wall Eighty-nine bottles ofbeer ? Take one down, pass it around? ? Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall? ? Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall? - [All Singing.]
? Eighty-eight bottles ofbeer? - This is what cults do, you know.
Deprive their converts of sleep so they'll be confused and vulnerable and more likely to do the stupid things you ask them to do.
- Like drink the Kool-Aid.
- ? Take one down, pass it around? [Sighs.]
Is that what you're working up to? - ? Eighty-six bottles of beer on the wall? - Oh, God! - ? Eighty-six bottles of beer? - But you couldn't off me 'cause then I wouldn't be around to do your bidding, right? ? Eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall? Is there some sort of leader I could speak with? - ? Eighty-five bottles of beer? - Leader? Hello? - ?? [Singing Continues.]
- Anyone want to let me in on the plan? 'Cause I'm assuming there's a plan or reason for all this.
- Anyone? - ? Eighty-four bottles ofbeer? - Fine.
- ? Take one down, pass it around? Don't reveal yourself.
Just keep singing.
Keep me - Ooh.
Beer.
- ? Eighty-three bottles ofbeer?? [Chattering.]
- Oh, thank God.
- What is it that bartenders say? You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
I'm workin' on my timing.
Are you gonna say it to me too? Please don't.
'Cause if you kick me out, I'll have to wander the streets till morning.
We are kind of closed.
But I'll see what I can do.
I can imbibe quickly if you need to go home.
Funny thing about that.
So you live in the back room.
Technically, it's where I sleep.
I'm not sure where I live.
Although I'm pretty sure I don't live in New Jersey anymore.
Weren't you staying in some honeymoon suite somewhere? Mm.
Once they figured I wasn't gonna sue, they stopped comping my room.
You should absolutely go litigious on their asses.
One of their employees ruined your marriage and arguably your life.
Yeah, but if Heidi had stuck with the hospitality basket or a more traditional definition of the term "room service" we'd both be back in NewJersey right now starting our married life together.
One bad day and everything changes.
One bad 'sode, and not only does everything start changing but everything starts talking to you.
Huh.
I don't get it.
I'm not sure I get it either.
So, I like your new place.
It has a certain hobo charm.
I don't know about charm, but it does have rats.
The old expression of mice and "quiet as" doesn't apply to rats.
Just be grateful they're not keeping you up at night with incessant chatter.
- [Thudding.]
- I think they heard us talking about them.
- [Thudding.]
- Over there! - Wait, wait! - What? Okay.
[Clattering.]
Wha-What? - [Gasps.]
- [Both Yelling.]
- [Groaning.]
- Whoa! [Groaning Continues.]
- Big, big rat.
- [Door Closes.]
Hmm.
?? [Woman Singing Rock.]
[Eric.]
I remember seeing her in here a few nights back.
She had the turkey club, extra-well-done fries and a side of cheese.
She had a side of cheese? Didn't even eat it.
Just looked at it, then skipped out on her tab.
Well, didn't skip too far.
I wonder how long she's been holed up in that barrel.
Maybe it's her crack barrel! Do you think she's in there free-basing? I don't see a pipe.
Either way, she's pretty resourceful for a homeless person.
[Sniffs.]
Clean too.
Do you think she's a tourist? Came to Niagara to see the falls and ended up taking a fall.
All it takes is one bad day.
Shall we call the police? Nah.
Just toss her crap in the lost and found.
Except the coat.
We should probably just, you know - Bring her back.
- Bring her back? - Bring her back.
- Bring her back? - Bring her back? - Bring her back.
No.
Well, I mean, why? - I don't know.
It's your idea.
- It's not my idea.
- It wasn't you? - It wasn't a suggestion.
- It wasn't? - Uh-uh.
I suppose we could try to find her, I guess.
She still owes for that turkey club and the owner's only letting me stay here 'cause I work here and Oh.
- I get it.
- You do? Even though I may only have a cot and large sacks of dried beans I still have more than this woman does.
Did I say that? This poor woman might be in some kind of trouble.
Now she's out there without her coat.
- Okay.
Now you've made me feel guilty.
- Right.
Guilt.
So you're saying we should track her down, get her her stuffback? Right.
No, wait.
What are we doing? You know, a lot of people wouldn't have thought of that.
They'd havejust made sure the door was locked behind her.
You're like You're like a saint.
Well So what do we do? - Uh - We know she's been to the train station.
We could start there.
We could do that.
- [Indistinct Announcements.]
- So, do you do this sort of thing a lot going out of your way to help people you don't even know? - Uh, I wouldn't say "a lot.
" - Me either.
Heidi wouldn't allow it.
She always said I shouldn't open my mouth to strangers.
Ironic.
You know, considering.
Yeah.
[Laughing.]
You miss her? I don't know.
You gotta miss your life a little.
I guess I'm still trying to figure out where that is.
[Man On P.
A.
.]
Train to Paterson, NewJersey, with stops at Hoboken West Orange and Trenton, departing Platform 9.
- Next.
- Hi.
- We're looking for someone.
- We think she may be in trouble.
Blonde, a little taller than me though possibly in a fetal position.
Or maybe running away from something.
Or she might have been looking over her shoulder possibly running away from something.
This is her stub.
She arrived eight days ago.
Anything you could remember would be great.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, I think I do remember.
Yeah, this ticket It had another half to it.
A ticket half.
Yeah, that's all I got.
Next.
[Eric.]
Okay, that went well.
We're like the worst detectives ever.
I don't know what we expected him to tell us.
Could've told you about the man in black.
What? Let's just say you two aren't the first ones that have been sniffing around here lookin' for that little girl.
- You remember her? - Oh, yeah.
She slept on that bench three nights in a row.
I'd watch over her you know, a little, as much as I could until he showed up, and she'd scurry out of here like a rat come daylight.
The man Do you remember what he looked like? A strange-lookin' sort.
Dressed in all black.
I remember thinkin' that ifJohnny Cash had been born an Irishman his music would have been more lilting.
Whoever he was, I hope you find her before he does.
Uh, I don't think there is a next move.
Our moves are done.
I mean, what more could we possibly do? Maybe this man in black is the one we should be trying to find.
I just think it'd be a little like looking for an Irish Johnny Cash in a haystack.
- Excuse me.
- Call you back.
May I help you? I see you have several public notices in your window.
I wonder if you might add this one.
I'd be so grateful.
And then he smiled.
- Ew! - Right.
Katrina.
That's her name.
No last name.
She's a prostitute.
And he's her pimp.
Her goth pimp.
She's trying to leave the lifestyle, and he won't let her.
- What are you doing? - Calling Johnny.
- [Man On Phone.]
Hillcrest.
- Hello.
Extension 231, please.
- [Indistinct.]
- Room 231? [Indistinct.]
Hillcrest Hotel.
231 is a room number.
At least he's not living in a barrel.
- [Auto-Dialing, Line Ringing.]
- Who are you calling now? - [Man On Phone.]
Hillcrest.
- Hi.
Me again.
Yeah, a cat stepped on the phone.
Can you tell me if anyone's staying in the room next to 231? [Man On Phone, Indistinct.]
[Whispering.]
I don't hear anything.
Do you hear anything? What if we're too late? What if he's beat her to death with a bag of oranges for withholding trick money? If she had any money, I don't think she'd be living in a barrel.
I wouldn't be.
Yes, but maybe she's just a lazy whore.
That happens, right? They can't all have hearts of gold and good work ethics.
And come on.
This place does have a certain pay-by-the-hour vibe.
It's just a transient hotel for people who aren't sure whether they're coming or going.
People that need hot plates and kitchenettes and all the other trappings of creative nonpermanence.
You sound like a brochure.
[Gasps.]
Yes! [Whispering.]
Are you getting anything on yours? No, nothing yet.
Maybe we need a new frequency.
You do realize, don't you, that nonpermanence doesn't have any trappings? That's what makes it nonpermanent.
That's what makes it nonpermanent.
I mean to say that something transitory and totally fleeting can't really trap you, right? Something just passing through town, for instance.
Something transitional.
Uh-huh.
Or someone.
[Woman Shouting.]
Stop! Stop! I can't do this! Let me go! I won't go back! I can't! Why can't you leave me alone! [Grunting.]
She said leave her alone! Now, how's about you listen? Don't hurt him.
He's a priest.
- You're a priest? - Father Scofield.
You're going to hell.
[Sirens Wailing.]
[Sirens Wailing.]
Father as in "Father, forgive me"? I'm not in a very forgiving mood right now.
Jackass.
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were not a priest.
Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to apologize.
What was all that "leave me alone" screaming about? - And you said "jackass.
" - Here.
Here.
Take it.
It's all I have.
It was just a turkey club, for the love of God.
- You don't have to hunt a person down.
- You stole food? I'm not proud.
How much was the club? It's not about sandwich money.
We're trying to help her.
Yeah, missionary man.
Where do you get offbrowbeating a hooker? Jesus was nice to prostitutes.
Sister Katrina isn't a prostitute.
Now I'm going to hell.
- You're a nun? - Not anymore.
I'm not goin' back there.
I can't.
I can't.
- Back where? - The convent.
Why not? Did you Agnes of God her? I bet he did.
I bet he Agnes of God-ed all over her.
- Would you shut up? - He didn't Agnes of God me.
Sister, everyone's very worried about you.
After 12 years, you don'tjust up and leave without explanation.
- What happened? - It doesn't matter! I'm not going back! - You can't stay here.
- Why the hell not? You can't force her to go.
She's standing there telling you she's not coming back.
To me, that means she's not coming back.
If the good sister wants to move on with her life I suggest you stand aside and let her move on.
Amen.
Amen.
Are you praying? Did they give you food shame at the convent? The food was glorious.
Sister Suzanne took Cuisines of the Americas.
Maybe now is a good time to come up with a plan.
- Can you type? - No.
So, is Sister Suzanne mean? She's a lovely person.
I always picture nuns being mean.
I do too, and I don't know why.
Well, it's probably because they Although you seem nice.
- Did the mean nuns pick on you? - No, nobody picked on me.
It was a sisterhood.
We all took the same vows.
I loved the convent.
We grew alfalfa in the fields.
Bring her back to him.
If you were so happy with the sisters in the field, why'd you leave? [Sighs.]
It was the cheese.
The cheese was my undoing.
This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries.
A bacterial flirtation with enzymes.
The comingling of friendly microorganisms giving birth to curds and whey.
"And from dust he created the universe.
" The Dairy Board must love you.
The microorganisms in this cheese tell me God exists.
This sack of meat that holds a soul tells me God exists.
God himself, however, hasn't told me anything.
Not really.
Not definitively.
And certainly not out loud.
You don't really want the out loud part, do you? I mean, it's gotta be upsetting.
I'm sure of it.
Not as upsetting as doubt.
It's a sin to live in his house when doubt lives in your heart.
And I know the exact moment it moved in.
I was in the kitchen nibbling on the fresh pecorino Sister Louise brought back from Italy and I thought, "What if it's just cheese? "What if I'm just cheese? "What if this sack of meat is just a bacterial flirtation and my soul is only a comingling of friendly microorganisms?" But God's your thing.
I mean, you grew alfalfa and took a vow.
How am I supposed to commit my life to something I'm not sure is real? - Bring her back to him.
- To who? To me.
He has to be real to me.
He has to show me.
Otherwise, I'm just praising the word of some phantom bully in the sky.
Bring her back to him.
Oh, Him.
With the big "H.
" I get it.
Who did you think we were talking about? She has to go back.
I know that guy I was with said whatever but I really think this is best, and something tells me you do too.
Geez, I don't know.
Is your little friend gonna beat me up? Yeah, he got excited there for a second, didn't he? But he doesn't have to know.
You're not leaving without her.
You're not leaving her with me.
Look.
I'm not a parole officer.
I can't drag her back kicking and screaming.
It doesn't look good for the church.
But she wants to go back.
She does.
She's just had too much cheese.
You see, it's all about doubt.
We gotta squash that doubt.
Would it help if she got rebaptized? It's holy water, not magic water.
What's the difference? One's faith.
The other one is fantasy.
One's faith.
The other one is fantasy.
You're telling me Sister Katrina has lost her faith.
Not lost.
Misplaced.
- Well, I can't find it for her.
- Well, I can.
- What are you - I'll take that challenge.
[Grunting.]
Just give me 24 hours and I'll have her singing "SweetJesus" all the doo-dah day long.
And you can bring her back to him.
All three hims: Jesus, God and the other one.
God has to talk to people.
How else would mankind know God's will? That's a very good point.
This is helping.
Say more.
You need to listen closely.
He has a theology degree.
Several, actually.
How many do you need? One more.
Leave me alone.
But just because a scripture says God's talking doesn't mean he's talk talking.
People tend to take license with that detail.
It's not always gonna be, "Hello, Jaye.
" Stop that.
Well, some folks believe that early man's gut instinct was God telling our ancestors to fight, flee or f-f fun have.
Although, several prominent serial killers claim that God gave them very specific instructions.
This isn't helping anymore.
Why'd you go to the serial killer place? Jaye-bird, sweetheart.
What a nice surprise! Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Hi.
I'm Karen Tyler.
Sister Ka Katrina.
Just Katrina.
You're a nun! Well, that's fantastic.
- Ex-nun.
It's just Katrina.
- Oh.
- You never said she was a nun.
- Ex.
Sweetheart.
Is this about your 'sode? Are you seeking counsel in the church? No.
Yes.
Yes, it's about my 'sode and my stress issue.
But thanks to God, I'm better every day, so you don't have to worry.
That's wonderful, darling.
You are aware nuns are Catholic? I like your monkey.
I stole it from my therapist's office.
Cheese? This is insulting to both of us.
It's a pre-made snack platter.
Fine.
I had a whole thing I was gonna say.
Got it out of a fondue cookbook.
Still wanna hear it? I don't need to.
I know why God doesn't talk to me.
He doesn't talk to anyone.
He can't.
Sure, he can.
He just doesn't wanna.
No, he just doesn't exist.
So do you not believe in anything anymore or is it just G-dash-D? Isn't G-dash-D supposed to be my everything? That's what I used to believe.
And since I can't believe that, there's nothing to believe in.
[Dog Barking.]
Okay.
Cone of silence? I believe in something.
Sort of.
And it does talk to me and may actually be God but has never said so specifically.
What is it? What talks to you? [Whispers.]
They do.
Go on.
Pull the other one.
It plays "Ave Maria.
" No, really.
They tell me to do things.
And if I don't, they sing and keep me up all night.
And then eventually I do what they say.
I don't even know what they are.
However, I do know they talk.
Or something talks through them.
Either way, it's not pleasant.
That doesn't sound like God.
That sounds like the devil.
Oh, good.
'Cause if you believe in the devil, you believe in God.
But which one is it? I don't know.
They won't say.
There's only one way to be sure.
Cast it out.
Can we do that? [Traffc Noises.]
[Chattering.]
Father, it's God's work.
No, it is this woman's work.
Yes, yes.
God kept you here.
He brought us here to perform his work forJaye.
Is that so? Katrina has been living in a nunnery these past 12 years.
Please bear in mind that I have not.
Her faith is back and possibly better than ever.
You should be thanking me.
And what is it that you're hoping to get from us by way of thanks? Well, since you mention it, there is one little thing.
An exorcism! I have to drink in here.
Are you out of your mind? I'm willing to try anything.
I mean, she's willing to try anything to help me which does help her with that one issue.
It's a big circle of help.
She's afflicted.
Demons live inside of her.
They talk to her, and they tell her to do things.
She needs our help to purge them.
Sadly, it's all true.
I don't know what you're after here, but I don't do exorcisms.
They're violent and dangerous and stupid.
Hey, Father, come on.
Let's not discourage her.
She's eager to do God's work.
Please? I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks.
Do this with me, Father, and I will willingly and joyously return to the convent with you.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know that.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know that.
Well, isn't it possible that the reason God never spoke to me is because he needed me to run away because he needed me to end up here because he needed you to follow me so you could use your expert knowledge to cast out demons from this poor girl's soul? Amen, Sister.
Could you give us a minute, please? There's something you should know about that girl.
I thought the priest was leaving town.
I asked him not to.
I thought we were on the same page with this thing.
Why would you do this? Why would you try to ambush her with the one person she doesn't want to see? - I thought you were on my side.
- I didn't ambush her.
I'm doing a good thing here.
Remember how much you like me when I do good things? She loves the nunnery.
She told me she was really happy there.
Was.
Was.
Past tense.
Things change.
People change.
And when other people try to force people not to change then the changing, which wasn't easy to begin with, just gets harder.
You made a bet? You lied to me.
I was wrong.
You're not hearing the devil.
You are the devil! Just so we're clear, calling a girl the devil in front of the boy she likes Not the best way to keep a friend.
You're not my friend.
You're a liar.
And so's the devil.
I'm not friends with the devil.
Or with liars.
Devil! I'm not a liar.
Not in this instance anyway.
You bet Father Scofield you could restore my faith in 24 hours and then you pretended to be my friend Are you Pentecostal? Are you trying to scare God into my dirty, sinful, hell-bound, unsaved heart? I didn't pretend to be your friend.
I was forced to be your friend.
- Those are two very different things.
- You're horrible.
You make up this story about demons talking to you through plastic animals when nothing talks to you, just like nothing talks to me.
- I didn't make anything up.
- Break the taillight.
Hah! You see? It's talking to me right now.
For God's sake.
Maybe.
Maybe it is for God's sake.
Break the taillight.
Except it's telling me to break a taillight.
Which is vandalism, which is the devil's work which is why one little exorcism isn't too much to ask.
Is this fun for you, torturing a wayward nun? Oh, yeah.
This is a laugh riot.
This is where I would most like to be right now standing in the freezing cold, being called a liar by a nun and coerced by a wax lion to commit crime.
This is so much fun.
- Great.
- What just happened? You bastard! I can't afford my insurance premiums as it is.
- Your car It broke the taillight.
- I know.
And since you and the priest aren't gonna be helping me the least you could do is not tell anyone.
[Door Closes, Engine Starts.]
[Crashes.]
[Gears Grinding.]
Hey, have you seen my sister? I need you to tell me everything you know about demonic possession.
Uh Trying to force a nun back to the convent when she doesn't want to go back is very unpriestly, even though it might sound priestly.
[Father Scofield.]
I'm not in the business of forcing anyone to do anything.
- That seems to be your game.
- What's that supposed to mean? Well, for example, right now, by the nature of our geography you're forcing me to have this conversation.
You're forcing me to force you! Someone has to stand up for Katrina! I mean, what's wrong with a person needing a little time to figure out their life? While you're figuring out whatever you're figuring out could you hand me some toilet paper, please? Thank you.
- Hi.
- Here you are, sweetheart.
Did your brother find you? No, but he'll find me when he comes home.
I'm sleeping here tonight.
Or trying to anyway.
You didn't redecorate my room with zoo-themed wallpaper, did you? - Why are you all dressed up? - We're going to church.
Is it Christmas? 'Cause if it is, it snuck up on me, and nobody's getting anything.
[Chuckles.]
It doesn't have to be Christmas for the Tylers to go to church.
- Is it Easter? - It's Wednesday.
We Presbyterians have Bible study on Wednesdays.
Your mother and I are tickled to death that you've turned to the Lord for guidance.
We just think it should be our Lord.
These priests could do anything.
You get pregnant out of wedlock, you must be possessed.
Bam! They tie you down tie you down and cast the demon out.
I'm just curious.
How exactly would they accomplish this sort of thing? Someone took her dreams away.
What was is no more.
I mean, it's not like she wanted to end up sleeping in a barrel.
- Who would? - Where did you say you sleep again? Yes, but in a bed.
And only 'cause my wife cheated on me and took my dreams away.
At least the ones that had to do with being married to her.
And now what Heidi was is no more so it doesn't even matter.
Are you confessing something? I didn't kill her.
I just left her.
Lost faith in her.
I lost faith in that whole other life and I don't know if I want it back.
Catholics aren't bad people.
Theyjust do things differently.
Their prayers have to go through saints and apostles and statues.
Presbyterian prayers go straight to the source.
Right toJ.
C.
[Aaron.]
And the Protestant rituals were even worse.
Cut them, burn them, bleed them until the body of the possessed was no longer a restful place for the demon to dwell.
Could you, uh, go back to the burning? [Father Scofeld.]
People sin.
People transgress.
Especially in love.
Hell, I transgressed indiscriminately before I was called by God.
But God forgave me those transgressions.
You're telling me to forgive my wife? "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
'" I didn't do anything wrong.
I shouldn't have to go to church.
That argument has never worked for you, sweetheart.
Didn't ever work for any of us.
Now, put your pillow in your room, and let's go worship.
They would chant the Lord's Prayer over and over and over until the demon knew the righteous were having none of him.
And then he'd, you know, I guess leave.
[Eric.]
So I should go back to her? You can forgive someone and still choose not to be with them.
It was a yes or no question.
I don't have a yes or no answer.
Well, she's certainly taking her time.
- [Door Opens, Closes.]
- That was the front door.
- [Car Starts, Tires Squeal.]
- And that's her driving away.
- You don't suppose she's meeting us there? - Mm-mmm.
[Gasps.]
Oh, good God! I'm sorry I called you a liar.
You're not a liar, Jaye.
- You're a child of God.
- Oh, good.
So you believe in God now? I brought you back to Him? Big "H"? - You most certainly did.
- Huh.
Well, smell me.
Better than I thought I was.
[Muffled Screaming.]
[Groaning.]
[Grunting.]
Don't you worry, Jaye.
I know what I'm doin'.
If we have to, we'll cut the devil out of you.
Hah! I exorcise thee, every unclean spirit uh, in the name of God the Father Almighty.
Katrina, untie me.
Untie me now.
Oh, I can't.
You'll be flailing soon.
I don't want you to do whatever it is you're gonna do that's gonna make me flail.
That's the demon talking.
Jaye wanted this.
Jaye, can you hear me? Be strong, Jaye! Be strong! He'll be gone soon! [Screaming.]
Help! - [Siren Wailing.]
- [Police Radio, Indistinct.]
Crap.
License and registration, please.
- Was I speeding, Officer? - Your left taillight's busted.
- Oh.
- [Woman On Police Radio.]
Unit 37, 10-16, 14 Pear Street.
It's a It's a rental.
Just a moment, please, Father.
Keep both hands on the wheel.
[Woman On Police Radio.]
Unit 17, 10-32 at Freedman and West Templar.
[Jaye.]
Katrina I anoint thee with the oil of salvation that thou mayest have life everlasting.
I should've listened to my mother.
She told me you people were crazy.
Keep fighting, Jaye.
I'm here for you! [Sputtering.]
- You have the right to remain silent.
- It's a broken taillight.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
[Reciting Latin.]
- Do you understand your rights? - It's a rental.
[Katrina Continues Reciting Latin.]
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit? What are you gonna do with that knife? Do you believe in the church, the communion of saints, the remission of sins? Do you believe in the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting? No! Yes! Can you repeat the second part? Heavenly Father, guide my hand.
Give me strength.
Talk to me.
[Sobbing.]
Tell me what to do.
Here's what to do.
Put down the knife.
- Untie me and put down the knife.
- No! You wanted this.
You asked for it.
No, I didn't.
Okay, I did.
But I didn't think it would be like this.
The voices, the animals I was just mad at them.
But they aren't demonic.
It just feels like that sometimes when they make me help people.
Please.
Katrina, please! Look at what you're doing! [Sighs.]
I'm just trying to get God's attention.
- [Pounding On Door.]
- Jaye Tyler, open up! Police! - Help! - We have a witness who saw your vehicle leaving the scene of an accident earlier today.
Miss Tyler, we know you're home.
We can see you.
- [Groans, Screaming.]
- Drop your weapon! [Gasps.]
It's not what it looks like.
You have to understand.
I would never hurt anyone.
I just I thought God was guiding me, but I was wrong.
I just I thought God was guiding me, but I was wrong.
Uh-huh.
You on any meds? No.
No.
[Phone Ringing.]
Oh, my God! They called you? - Excuse me? - I thought for sure you'd left town already.
- I was - Well, don't worry.
I'm not pressing charges.
She was just confused.
Plus, I did kind of encourage her to do it.
And you were right, by the way.
Exorcism? A very, very bad idea.
I have a child I didn't know about.
Come again? They're letting me go.
Father, I'm so sorry.
I should have listened to you.
- It's a girl.
- Huh? He has a kid he didn't know about.
But h-how? In the usual way.
I wasn't always a priest.
In my life before, there was a woman I had no idea.
She was on the pill.
She must have been looking for me all this time.
They pulled me over, uh, for a broken taillight.
When they ran my name I'm a deadbeat dad.
Broken taillight? [Woman.]
Uh, yes, we will.
Thank you.
Marta.
Joe.
Uh They said I probably shouldn't be talking to you.
No, you Of course you don't have to.
I'm sorry that I had to file the complaint.
I just didn't know what else to do.
I couldn't find you, so I guess I was looking in the wrong place.
Hey.
[Laughs.]
Joe, this is Sadie.
Hi, Sadie.
I'm Father I'm your father.
"Bring her back to him.
" Wow.
It's a miracle.
[Man On P.
A.
, Indistinct.]
[Man On P.
A.
, Indistinct.]
[Jaye.]
So, you wanna grab something before you hit the road? I saw a cheesy dog stand on the way in.
You like cheese.
Oh.
Trying to squeeze the demons out of me? Don't even joke about that.
A miracle happened because of you.
A miracle? I don't know.
A happy coincidence, maybe? Call it what you want, but I know what happened.
Here.
This'll get you back to the convent.
One-way ticket.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
[Man On P.
A.
.]
Sean Kirkpatrick, report to the information kiosk.
You got everything you need? - We're gonna miss you.
- Me too.
But God led me back here, and I've gotta trust that this is where I'm meant to be.
So, thanks for making me chase you to Niagara.
It was my pleasure.
Let's get you on the train.
Bye.
- So - So - Turns out you were right.
- Huh.
I almost never hear that sentence.
I'm sorry I got so weird.
I guess maybe I was projecting some of my issues on to her.
Ya think? Even though I feel like I have every right to be here I think I was also feeling a little guilty about not going back.
And now what does it feel like? [Man On P.
A.
.]
Train 5-B to Paterson, NewJersey with stops at White Plains, Hoboken and Trenton leaving in five minutes from Gate 3.
Feels like there's a train every hour.
- Want a cheesy dog? - Love one.
?? [Woman Singing Soul.]
?? [Ends.]
[Cackling.]