According To Jim s01e04 Episode Script

USE MORE KETCHUP.
[BOTH GIGGLE.]
DANA! DANA! WHAT?! DUCK! DUCK! DUCK! WHAT ARE YOU -- DANA, DANA, DANA, I NEED A FAVOR.
I'M GREAT, JIM.
HOW ARE YOU? YOU KNOW, WHY DO YOU WOMEN ALWAYS NEED FOREPLAY FOR EVERYTHING? OHH! LISTEN I-I NEED YOU TO PICK UP CHERYL'S ANNIVERSARY GIFT FOR ME AT THE OAKBROOK MALL.
WHICH STORE? UH, I DON'T KNOW YET.
THAT'S THE OTHER PART OF THE FAVOR.
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN HER GIFT YET? NO.
JIM, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF DOING THIS FOR YOU EVERY YEAR! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, PLEASE.
YOU KNOW, I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH, AND I JUST -- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT INTO A GIFT.
DANA, COME ON.
PLEASE, YOU -- YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT.
[ SIGHS .]
YOU KNOW, IF CHERYL WASN'T MY SISTER, I WOULD LET YOU FRY.
GOOD! COME HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL, ALL RIGHT? WE'RE GONNA DO THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY YEAR.
$15 A YEAR TIMES 10 -- THAT'S150 BUCKS.
JIM, THIS IS YOUR 10th ANNIVERSARY.
SINCE YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH, DON'T YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL? YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, THROW ANOTHER $15 IN.
IT'S READY, MOM! OH, BOY.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOMMY! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! EAT IT NOW! OKAY.
I SURE HOPE THESE ARE RAISINS.
MMM [ Muffled .]
IT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ALL FULL.
WHY DON'T YOU GIRLS RUN UP AND GET YOUR BACKPACKS, OKAY? OHH! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
OH, WHAT'S THIS? [ GASPS .]
"A DAY FOR TWO AT THE SERENITY SPA.
" YEP.
I BOOKED YOU AND JIM A COUPLE'S MASSAGE WITH TWO OF THE BEST GUYS THERE.
OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.
DAMN RIGHT! THE ONLY GUY TOUCHING ME IS GONNA BE ME.
AND THAT'S ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY.
OH, DARN.
JIM CAN'T GO.
AWW.
SATURDAY GOOD FOR YOU? PERFECT.
EXCELLENT.
WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT SERENITY SPA SURE IS NICE, BUT IT'S NOT AS NICE AS THE GIFT I GOT YOU.
OH, HONEY, I JUST CAN'T WAIT! EVERY YEAR YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT IS BETTER THAN THE YEAR BEFORE.
THEY'RE SOSENSITIVE AND THOUGHTFUL.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE -- FROM A DIFFERENT PERSON? YES! WELL, THIS YEAR'S GIFT, HONEY THIS YEAR'S GIFT IS "WOW"! OH! CAN YOU GIVE ME A HINT? WELL, IT'S A SLIGHTLY HIGHER RETAIL VALUE THAN LAST YEAR.
OH! IS HE THE BEST? OH, YEAH.
WHY AREN'T THERE MORE MEN LIKE YOU? OH, YEAH -- EVOLUTION.
WHAT'S WITH HER? WHO CARES? MMMTHIS IS GREAT.
UGH.
IS THIS A CRAYON? HAH! OH, BABY.
HEY, JIM, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT RUBY, GRACIE, AND I ARE DOING FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
ANOTHER "UNCLE ANDY'S PUPPET SHOW"? NO.
HEY, JIM, WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I GOT FOR CHE-- [ CLEARS THROAT .]
OH, HI, ANDY.
HEY, DANA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? OH, WELL -- WHAT, CAN'T SHE COME AND VISIT HER FAVORITE BROTHER-IN-LAW? DANA, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THE KIDS AND I ARE DOING FOR JIM AND CHERYL'S ANNIVERSARY.
"UNCLE ANDY'S PUPPET SHOW"? YEAH.
DAMN.
THERE'S A LEAK.
DID YOU GET SOMETHING? OKAY, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS.
I THINK I REALLY OUTDID MYSELF THIS YEAR.
OH, GIVE ME THAT.
WOWA BRACELET.
YEAH.
THAT OUGHT TO WORK, HUH? IT'S A CHARM BRACELET.
SEE, IT'S WHITE GOLD.
AND EVERY CHARM ON HERE REPRESENTS A DIFFERENT MEMORABLE EVENT FROM EVERY YEAR THAT YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED.
HOW MUCH? SEE, LIKE, THIS IS FOR WHEN YOU PROPOSED.
AND THIS ONE IS FROM THAT STONES CONCERT.
HOW MUCH, DANA?! $500.
COME ON, I'M ALREADY GETTING THE MILK FOR FREE.
HEY, THAT COW IS MY SISTER.
DANA, YOU BROKE THE RULE.
THE RULE IS $15 A YEAR.
THIS -- THIS BRACELET IS, LIKE -- JIM.
LET ME SEE.
HOLD ON.
IT'S, LIKE, A 33 1/3-YEAR ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
AUGH! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! FOR 10 YEARS YOU'VE DONE NOTHING.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
I DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVEN EVER SAID "THANK YOU.
" WOW! WHAT'S THAT? THIS? UH, THIS IS CHERYL'S ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
I GOT IT.
YOU LIKE IT? IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HOW DO YOU DO IT YEAR AFTER YEAR? WELL, ANDY, I'LL TELL YOU -- I DON'T SHOP WITH THIS, I SHOP WITH THIS.
SHOW HIM WHAT YOU THINK WITH.
HEY, ANDY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT REALLY GOOD AT WRAPPING GIFTS.
COULD YOU WRAP THIS FOR ME? YEAH.
WHERE'S THE PAPER? AT THE STORE.
WOULD YOU MIND RUNNING OUT TO PICK SOME UP? AND PICK UP A CARD, TOO, FOR ME, WILL YOU? AND MAKE IT ROMANTIC, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING WITH ZIGGYON IT.
OKAY.
OH, BUT LET'S NOT TELL CHERYL.
IT'D BE GREAT IF SHE THOUGHT THAT YOU DID EVERYTHING.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.
I FEEL SO NAUGHTY.
CHERYL, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN -- ANOTHER GREAT ANNIVERSARY DINNER.
AW, THANK YOU, SWEETIE.
CHERYL, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COME ON, COME ON.
THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY.
OHH.
YOU CAN CLEAR THESE LATER.
OKAY, EVERYONE.
PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY INTO THE LIVING ROOM FOR A VERY SPECIAL PERFORMANCE.
REMEMBER TO TURN OFF ALL CELL PHONES AND PAGERS AND PLEASE, NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.
GEE, I HOPE THERE'S GONNA BE SNACKS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST FINISH WHAT'S ON YOUR CHIN? I TRY TO EAT THE SHIRT STUFF FIRST.
OH.
OKAY, OKAY.
HERE'S THE BIG SHOW! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "THE UNCLE ANDY PLAYERS" PRESENT "WHEN DADDY PROPOSED TO MOMMY.
" INTERIOR -- ITALIAN RESTAURANT -- EVENING.
JIM AND CHERYL ARE MEETING FOR A VERY SPECIAL DATE.
CUE MUSIC.
PRESS "PLAY.
" THE PINK BUTTON! [ ITALIAN CONCERTINA MUSIC PLAYS .]
JIM DECIDES TO PLAY A PRANK ON CHERYL.
HEY, CHERYL, DO YOU WANNA COOL OFF? JIM THEN POURS HIS BEER ONTO CHERYL.
SSSSSH SHE DOESN'T LOOK HAPPY.
I'M HAPPY.
NOT HAPPY.
I'M NOT HAPPY.
JIM, NOT KNOWING HOW TO DEFLECT THE ATTENTION FROM HIS STUPIDITY, POPS THE ULTIMATE QUESTION.
ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THAT? NO, REALLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS WILL YOU MARRY ME? CHERYL WAS SHOCKED.
[ GASPS .]
JIM SAID IF THE ANSWER WAS "YES," SHE SHOULD POUR HER DRINK ONTO HIM.
SSSSSH AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END.
AWW.
AWW.
THAT WAS GREAT, GIRLS.
YAY! BRAVO! YOU GIRLS ARE REALLY CUTE.
OKAY, NOW I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR DADDY.
YOU, WAIT HERE.
ANDY, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND? OH, I DON'T NEED A GIFT.
SO, JIM, YOU WANNA JUST WRITE ME A CHECK FOR CHERYL'S PRESENT? WHERE'S THE RECEIPT? WHAT, YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO CHEAT YOU? YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T SAY THAT, BUT INTERESTING YOU WOULD GO THERE.
YOU UNGRATEFUL JERK! GIVE ME THE BRACELET! COME ON, COME ON, HOW MUCH WAS IT REALLY? YOU'RE SUCH A JACKASS.
COME ON, LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT NEW SHOES THERE, DON'T YOU? HEY, COME ON, GIVE ME THAT! Cheryl: OKAY, CLOSE YOUR EYES! [ WHEELS ROLLING .]
ARE THEY CLOSED?! YES.
OKAY, KEEP THEM CLOSED.
OKAY, YOU CAN OPEN THEM.
IT'S A MASSAGE CHAIR! OH, GOD! LOOK AT THAT! WOW! OH, CHERYL, COME ON, THIS MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNE.
NOPE, IT'S FAKE LEATHER.
YEAH, THAT'S MY GIRL.
HA HA HA.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
I JUST LOVE IT.
IT'S GREAT.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOUR GIFT.
[ SQUEALS .]
AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE ROMANTIC IF DANA GAVE IT TO YOU.
DANA.
OH, HONEY, "HIPPO ANNIVERSARY" TO YOU, TOO.
AWW.
HERE, LET ME GET IT.
[ GASPS .]
OH, HONEY IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT IS, ISN'T IT? IT'S WHITE GOLD.
THAT'S LIKE REAL GOLD BUT WHITE.
A-AND YOU KNOW THE BEST PART OF IT IS -- IT'S EACH CHARM REPRESENTS SOME MEMORABLE EVENT FROM EVERY YEAR THAT WE WERE MARRIED.
OH, HONEY.
THIS IS YOUR MOST WONDERFUL AND PERSONAL GIFT EVER.
OH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HE DID THIS? NO.
HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS? WELLI, UH, I STARTED LOOKING THROUGH SOME WEDDING PHOTOS.
OHH.
AND THEN I TOOK A WALK ALONG THE LAKE AND STOPPED AT THE CHURCH WHERE WE GOT MARRIED.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT, UH, JUST CAME TO ME, YOU KNOW? WHITE GOLD -- WRAP IT YOURSELF.
[ Laughing .]
OH, LOOK, IT'S A TINY, LITTLE BEER MUG.
YEAH, THAT'S FOR THE YEAR I PROPOSED TO YOU.
OH, AND LIPS WITH A TONGUE STICKING OUT.
THAT'S FROM THE ROLLING STONE CONCERT.
OH, LOOK, A LITTLE TRAFFIC LIGHT.
TRAFFIC LIGHT? Oh.
WHAT'S THAT FOR, JIM? WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? CHERYL TELLS IT BETTER THAN ME.
YOU BOUGHT IT.
YOU TELL IT.
WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW, UH, I -- YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANNA HOG, UH, THE SPOTLIGHT HERE.
MAYBEUH, DANA, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD ADD SOMETHING TO THE STORY? NOT WITHOUT A RECEIPT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS BY THAT! JIM? YES? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS CHARM IS FOR? OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR.
BUTYOU KNOW WHAT I THINK WOULD BE FUN -- I MEAN FOR EVERYONE -- IS IF DANA COULD TELL US WHAT THE CHARM IS FOR.
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, THEN WHY DID I PUT IT ON THE BRACELET?! WHY DID I PUT IT ON THE BRACELET?! THAT IS THE QUESTION AT HAND NOW.
WHY DID I PUT -- YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT NOTES IN THE KITCHEN 'CAUSE I WROTE THIS WHOLE THING UP ABOUT THE CHARMS -- JIM? YES? YOU DIDN'T BUY THIS BRACELET, DID YOU? I PAID FOR IT.
HA! I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT.
SO DANA BOUGHT THIS? HUH? HAS SHE BOUGHT ANY OF OUR OTHER ANNIVERSARY GIFTS? SOME OF THEM.
WHICH ONES? ALL OF THEM.
I'M SORRY, CHERYL, I -- SOIN THE 10 YEARS WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER YES.
YOU HAVEN'T PICKED OUT ONE OF MY ANNIVERSARY GIFTS? SUDDENLY, ME WRAPPING IT DOESN'T SEEM SO BAD.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, CHERYL, I REMEMBER WHAT THE TRAFFIC LIGHT CHARM MEANS.
IT WAS THE TIME WE PLAYED "RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT" WITH THE KIDS, AND YOU CHIPPED YOUR TOOTH.
NO! OKAY, IT WAS AT THE STATE FAIR AND THAT GUY WAS GONNA GUESS MY WEIGHT BY PICKING ME UP, AND HE DIDN'T EVEN WORK THERE.
THERE'S NOT EVEN A TRAFFIC LIGHT IN THAT STORY.
I KNOW, BUT IT STILL BOTHERS ME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK FOR 10 YEARS! AW, COME ON, CHERYL, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? THE BIG DEAL?! YOU DON'T CHOOSE MY GIFTS.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THIS ONE.
I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT.
I JUST NEED A RECEIPT FOR MY TAXES.
YOU CAN'T WRITE JEWELRY OFF.
YOU CAN IF IT'S A BUSINESS GIFT.
BY THE WAY, IF ANYBODY ASKS YOU, YOU'RE A WELDER.
YOU TELL THE I.
R.
S.
YOU BUY CHARM BRACELETS FOR WELDERS? I'M NOT PROUD OF IT, CHERYL.
JIM, IT'S NOT FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, THOSE GIFTS YOU GOT ME EVERY YEAR MADE ME FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY KNEW ME.
OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW ME.
BECAUSE IF YOU DID, YOU'D BE THANKING ME FOR NOT GETTING YOU A BUNCH OF LOUSY GIFTS THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA RETURN ANYWAY.
I KNOW YOU.
OH, YOU DO, DO YOU? OKAY, WELL, WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW? CAKE.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I JUST HAD CAKE.
JIM, DON'T YOU SEE? WHATEVER YOU GOT ME, IF IT CAME FROM YOUR HEART, I WOULD LOVE IT AND CHERISH IT FOREVER.
OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
COME ON! WOMEN ALWAYS SAY THAT, AND THEY DON'T MEAN IT.
WELL, I DO! OKAY.
FINE.
SO, THEN FROM NOW ON, WHATEVER I GET YOU, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE? IF IT COMES FROM YOUR HEART, THEN YES.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T CARE WHERE THIS CAME FROM.
I LOVE IT! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS IS IT WON'T RUB YOUR FEET.
FORGET IT, JIM.
ANDY, COME HERE, COME HERE.
COME ON, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT I REALLY WANT THAT CHERYL SAID WILL NEVER HAPPEN? DOUGHNUTS WITH LIQUOR IN THEM.
NO! BUT I THINK SOMEONE'S GONNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY OFF THAT.
A BIG-SCREEN TV?! ANDY, IT'S NOT JUST ANY BIG-SCREEN TV.
THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL BIG-SCREEN TVs.
LOOK AT THIS -- SURROUNDSOUND, AND PICTURE-IN-PICTURE.
OH, MY GOD.
I FEEL SO SMALL IN THE UNIVERSE.
JIM, CHERYL'S NEVER GONNA LET YOU KEEP THIS.
OH, YES, SHE WILL.
'CAUSE THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.
YOU SEE, LAST NIGHT SHE SAID TO ME THAT SHE'D LOVE ANYTHING I GAVE HER AS LONG AS IT CAME FROM THE HEART.
JIM, YOU ARE A GOD TO ME.
THANK YOU.
Cheryl: I'M HOME! A GOD WHO'S GONNA GET HIS ASS KICKED.
HONEY! HONEY, HOLD ON A SECOND.
YOU KNOW, I COULD USE SOME HELP WITH THE GROCERIES.
HONEY, HONEY, WAIT A SECOND.
I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
OH, HONEY, NOT NOW.
THERE'S MILK IN THE CAR.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON! WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN? OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JIM, IF THIS IS ANOTHER DOUGHNUT WITH A CORK IN IT.
NO.
BETTER.
IT'S A PRESENT.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! THIS IS YOUR GIFT FROM THE HEART? YES.
LOOK AT IT.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL HERE.
SEE, THIS HAS GOT PICTURE-IN-PICTURE, SEE? SO, YOU CAN LET ME WATCH THE SHOW I WANT WHILE YOU WATCH YOUR SHOW IN THE LITTLE CORNER UP THERE ON THE SCREEN.
HOW NICE OF ME.
CHERYL, REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID.
OH, I KNOW WHAT I SAID.
DO YOU LIKE IT? I LIKE IT.
[ INHALES DEEPLY .]
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT.
I LOVE IT.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
Yes! DADDY, CAN WE WATCH "CINDERELLA"? "WATCHING" IS WHAT WE DID ON OUR OLD TV, GIRLS.
SIT DOWN -- CHECK THIS OUT.
[ INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC SWELLS .]
AAH! AAH! I LOVE THIS THING! OH, GUYS, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS ON THE BIG-SCREEN TV.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? IT'S A FEW GIRLS SITTING AROUND ON A SUNDAY WATCHING A "SEX IN THE CITY" MARATHON.
UH, HONEY, UH, THE GUYS ARE HERE, THE GAME IS STARTING, AND, UH, WE WANNA WATCH IT ON THE BIG SCREEN.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY TV? I MEAN, THIS WAS A GIFT FROM YOUR HEART, WASN'T IT? AHH COME ON, THE GUYS ARE HERE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY, HONEY, 'CAUSE WE HAVE PICTURE-IN-PICTURE.
WE'LL LET YOU GUYS WATCH YOUR GAME IN THE LITTLE BOX IN THE CORNER.
DID YOU PUT HER UP TO THIS? CAN'T TALK.
BUSY.
OH! COME ON! AH! COME ON, HE'S WIDE OPEN HE'S WIDE OPEN.
THROW HIM THE BALL! THROW HIM THE BALL! HONEY, YOU'RE YELLING AT A PUDDING COMMERCIAL.
WHERE ARE THE GUYS? THEY WENT HOME TO WATCH A REAL TV.
YOU'RE JUST DOING THIS TO TEACH ME A LESSON, AREN'T YOU? OH, AFTER 10 YEARS, DON'T YOU THINK I'D KNOW YOU'D PULL A STUNT LIKE THIS? YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? YOU'RE RIGHT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE -- IS THAT WE CAN MAKE MISTAKES, LEARN FROM THEM, AND MOVE ON.
OHH.
YOU'RE STILL NOT WATCHING THE BIG SCREEN.
COME ON, HONEY! IT'S NOT ABOUT THE TV.
IT'S ABOUT US.
OH.
I LOVE YOU.
STILL NO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP? [ GASPS .]
JUST STRAIGHTENING UP.
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK I KEEP THE HOUSE SO CLEAN? HEY, HONEY, LISTENI'VE BEEN THINKING, AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT THIS TV JUST TO SPITE YOU, SO I'M GONNA TAKE IT BACK.
YOU'RE TAKING IT BACK? YEAH, WELL -- YOU DON'T WANT ME TO? NO, NO.
NO, YOU SHOULD.
OKAY, OKAY.
I'M GONNA CALL THEM UP FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO PICK IT UP.
OKAY.
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT IT'S THEIR FIRST STOP IN THE MORNING, ACTUALLY.
FINE.
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN CALL NOW AND LEAVE A MESSAGE SO THEY GET IT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
OH, ALL RIGHT! I LOVE IT! AHA.
I LOVE THIS TV.
I WANNA MARRY IT.
I KNEW IT! WELL, CAN YOU BLAME ME?! THIS THING IS AMAZING! WHAT'S THAT MEAN? I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SEE, I KNEW YOU WOULD LOVE THIS, CHERYL.
YOU DID -- NO, NO.
YOU GOT LUCKY.
OKAY, MAYBE.
I DID, MAYBE, BUT I DO KNOW YOU, HONEY.
[ Sarcastically .]
OH, YEAH.
I DO! I KNOW A LOT ABOUT YOU.
I KNOW IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT YOU.
I KNOW THAT THAT LITTLE SCAR ON YOUR FOREHEAD THERE IS WHEN YOU WERE 6 YEARS OLD YOU RAN INTO THE REFRIGERATOR.
I KNOW YOU LIKE YOUR HAMBURGERS MEDIUM AND YOUR STEAKS RARE.
I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE YOUR TOES.
AND YOU LOVE NEW YEAR'S.
YOU LOVE NEW YEAR'S -- ESPECIALLY THAT ONE TIME WE WERE WALKING BACK FROM DANA'S PARTY.
AND WE STOPPED AT EVERY CORNER AND KISSED UNTIL THE LIGHT TURNED GREEN.
AND WE KISSED AND YOU WERE HAPPY AND NOW I KNOW WHAT THAT CHARM ON THE BRACELET MEANS.
HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME RIGHT NOW?! YOU'RE FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU? OH, YEAH! AHH! OH, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HONEY.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY.
JIM? HMM? YEAH.
CAN WE AFFORD THIS TV? SURE.
IT'S THE KIDS WE CAN'T AFFORD.
YEAH, WE GOTTA KEEP THEM, THOUGH.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT NO COLLEGE.
DEAL.