Aftertaste (2021) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1
I'm re-creating a Michelin-star
menu from my first restaurant.
La Moulineux was on that menu.
WINE SELLER: $870 a single.
- You can't live in a shed.
- Oh! But it's all right for a dining room, is it? You only get those once you've created a world-class, Michelin-level dessert, by this evening.
(ROARS) - But what is the truth? - Your mother packed up and left! You should come to the opening.
I wouldn't miss it.
Dude, we totally just popped our cherries.
This is my dessert.
Is this some kind of a joke? If you really want to take it to the next level, you need to start listening to me, got it? - Easton, what are - Shh! Okay.
Go! - Just look out for the farmer! - Ooh! Why can't we just buy milk at the servo? It's, like, a buck a litre and nowhere near as much shit on the floor.
It's opening night.
We need the freshest milk we can source.
This dessert is all about terroir.
Ter-wha? Terroir.
It's French.
It means the taste of the soil, the land the produce is grown on.
Right.
That sounds unhygienic.
What exactly is this dessert? Crème brûlée? I told you, it was on the menu when I won my first Michelin star.
- You don't think it needs - No.
I thought we established you would follow my lead.
Just make 20 more as perfect as that one and I will be very happy.
Well, as long as you're happy.
That's the 11th person I've turned away for tonight.
We should have set up more tables.
The harder it is to get in, the more buzz we get.
Then we add the tables and raise the prices.
Just leave the business to me and you keep answering the telephones.
We need a proper maître d'.
We just stole $2 worth of milk from a cow.
We can't afford a proper maître d'.
How'd you get Zhao's guy, then? I give him my body for whatever demented pleasures he so desires.
80 minutes at 86 degrees.
- Don't take your eyes off it.
- Oui, Chef.
I want you all to taste La Moulineux merlot.
You need to understand how it's going to bring the whole menu together.
Crème brûlée? And I thought you said we were going to be the next Noma.
Yes, we will.
He's just going for a more classical, refined thing and once we're established, I'll be able to bring in my own stuff.
It's good.
He's He knows what he's doing.
What is that smell? You don't smell that? - Ironic.
- What? You walked through that bullshit to make this bullshit.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, maybe it'll pair with his bullshit French wine.
(GLASS BOTTLES CHINK) What.
The.
Actual Fuuuuuck?! (LAUGHS) (FAST-PACED ROCK MUSIC) Last time we had a legit meeting with Margot, you just left me there.
Now you want me to come and taste her wines, even though I know nothing about wine.
- Makes no sense.
- You learn on the job.
I got where I did working under great chefs.
I was under a great chef last week, but we definitely weren't working! You said, and I quote, "Margot Duplass is an hysterical witch whose natural wines taste like hangover piss.
" Well, don't mention that when you ask for the loan.
What loan? Your alcoholic grandfather stole and drank my only case of merlot.
The only cash we have is in the ashtray of that ute and we're on the only vineyard owned by someone we sort of know.
Do the maths.
Diana would love to apologise for missing our meeting the other day.
Oh, she's got nothing to apologise for.
(FAINT BEEPING) I'll be back.
Gotta take this call.
Press.
All over me.
Don't know how he's making calls.
We have zero reception up here.
(GLASS CHINKS) Come.
Taste.
Oh, no.
I I actually know nothing about wine.
Uh, the last stuff I had was straight out of a goon bag and it did not end well.
Ah, our industry is full of wankers.
They want you to think you know nothing so they can flog their over-processed, over-marketed garbage.
And I'm the crazy one, because I want to make wines naturally.
What do you taste? I I don't know.
Grapes.
What about at the back? Blackcurrant note, maybe? Actually, yeah.
Now that you've said it, I can I can taste that.
Wine should tell a story about the place that it's made and the people that make it.
- That's what gives it its meaning.
- Yeah.
I've I've actually started doing that with my latest dishes.
Oh! I tasted your moonshine cake! - Oh! - It was fantastic.
Yeah? Thank you.
Actually, he didn't tell me that.
(LAUGHS) Of course he didn't.
What actually happened the last time he came up here? I had him for lunch.
That's fruity.
Is, um is it plums? See? Very good! You've got an excellent palate.
You should trust it.
Actually Easton sort of brought me here to ask you something.
- Oh, did he, now? - Yeah.
It's a little embarrassing.
Adelaide Hills pinot.
Soft and plummy with a good tannic structure.
You can pay me tonight if you make any money.
That won't be a problem.
We're fully booked.
Margot's kindly accepted our invitation for dinner.
Oh, really? Great.
Well, it's the least we could do to make up for Diana's no-show.
Thanks for the wine.
Well, it's no over-priced merlot, but hopefully this hysterical witch's brew will be more than a match for your culinary genius.
See you both tonight.
I like her.
I'm sorry for calling you a cockwomble.
DENISE: (ON PHONE) What is that word? I don't know.
I heard it once and I thought it sounded funny.
All right.
Hey, I got you a VIP table.
- EASTON: Diana! - Really? You should see what we've done with the place, Mum.
- It looks freaking amazing.
- EASTON: (SHOUTS) Diana! - I've gotta go.
I'll see you tonight.
- Okay.
- How's the mix? - Yeah, almost ready, Chef.
Okay.
Let's stay focused.
We'll get onto the scallop entree next.
- (GUNSHOT OUTSIDE) - Christ almighty! What the hell's he doing? Maybe he's feeling a bit left out.
Go grab that gun off him.
KWAME: Chef.
Chef! You said you knew how to use a sous vide, you idiot! I do! I set it to 86 degrees, like you said.
It's the dodgy machine you got off Gumtree.
All my venison is fucking fucked! I'll go to the butcher's.
They're still open.
We had to order it.
We bought all they had.
Why don't we just get Pop to get us a roo? I mean, you can cook it on the fire pit.
It'll be more like the restaurant I imagined anyway.
- It'll be totes terroir.
- This is fine dining, not a shitty sausage sizzle! This menu won me a Michelin star! Have you ever won a star? - No.
- Have you ever won anything? CWA's Best Cake at the Uraidla Fair last year.
Exactly, so just keep your shit ideas to yourself and just do what you're told like a good little girl.
Fuck! The supplier's in Hahndorf, Vasiliadi's Venison.
I doubt they sell directly from the farm, though.
Okay.
Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? Okay.
While I'm gone, you take over the mise en place.
You, fix the sous vide machine or find a work-around and you, just pull your finger out of your arse and stop looking so fucking miserable! - (SLAMS DOOR) - I'm not putting up with him.
Arni, most geniuses act like wankers, okay? Mozart wanker.
Steve Jobs wanker.
The Dalai Lama? Probably a total wanker! Um, seriously? - What's gotten into you lately? - What do you mean? Your priorities are warped.
You abandon me and our business, talk me into working here for free, then try and justify this guy treating us both like absolute crap? Are you kidding? This is our big break! He's using us as cheap labour! You're basically his apprentice.
We were selling cakes in a car park before I set all this up.
We are literally on the verge of everything that we've dreamed about.
Maybe, but I don't want to do it like this and not with him.
Bitch, do not abandon me right now.
Bitch, stop being his bitch.
After all I've done for you? I literally carried Hot Buns for years, 'cause trust me, babe, no-one was coming for your shitty sago pudding pots, okay? I've let you follow me around and copy me since year 7 and now you're just gonna leave me at my hour of need? You're such a fucking selfish Go on.
bitch! Nice.
You and him deserve one another.
- (SLAMS DOOR) - BRETT: What did Diana say? - DENISE: She's got us a VIP table.
- Ooh! She sounded so grown-up.
Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight? Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Why? Oh, just checking.
Oh! I like the outfit.
Well, the press will be there.
I can't have them thinking that every West is a classless scumbag.
Yeah, right.
Oh! I wonder what's on the menu.
- I'm starving! - Mmm.
You're drinking.
Relax, Brett.
It's Saturday.
But you don't drink.
I don't not drink.
I'm just not a chronic alcoholic like the rest of my family.
(CONTINUES POURING) - Hi.
- Oh, my God! You're, um Oh! Fritzen - Easton West, yes.
- Yes! Ha! (LAUGHS) Oh, wow.
Is this a TV thing? - What Hey, Mama! - No, no.
No, no, is the boss here? I'm the boss, you vlaka.
Eh? (LAUGHS) Oh, wow.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Like, I'm a fan, but my sister is obsessed.
- You have to say hello to her.
- Oh, lovely.
Uh, actually, the reason I'm here is I really need to Hey, Mama (SPEAKS GREEK) Hey, Maureen.
Guess who's in the living room right now.
(LAUGHS) (GASPS) Oh, my God! Are we on TV? I need some venison for my restaurant.
Oh, no, sorry.
We don't have any of that.
What? (LAUGHS) I'm jokin', mate! We're a frickin' venison farm! Here.
Hold that and I'll radio the boys in cold store.
This is unbelievable.
I've got all your books, even that crap Christmas one you did with Delia.
- (BATH WATER SLOSHES) - Close your eyes.
I'm getting out.
No peeking! Hey, how much do you want? 4 kilos of fillet.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Oh, my God.
You're even better looking in real life! (SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) Let me take a picture.
- Say cheese! - Cheese! (SNAPS PICTURES) Nice! Thicken, you stupid piece of fricking shit! Frickin' boring crème brûlée! (GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION) The salt from your sweat or tears made it split.
Maybe you should take a break.
I'll re-do it for you.
I've been a royal dick, haven't I? We need to push on.
We have diners coming who've paid a stupid amount for the privilege.
We owe them a good dessert.
I don't want to give them just a good dessert.
I want to give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert.
Okay.
Well, then give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then! Okay! Then I will give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then.
Good.
You didn't answer my question about me being a royal dick.
Yes.
You were being a royal dick.
Thank you.
You, uh you saved me.
This is truly a debt I can never repay.
Um, hang on, what do you mean, you can never repay? Well, I can pay, just that we deal in cash, so I I can only pay after service.
Well, we'll have a VIP table, for starters, for tonight.
And then you and I can talk about a repayment plan.
I'm sorry.
We're fully booked.
Well, our meat's fully booked, mate.
Listen.
We'll make a trade, hmm? We have goods that can make you happy and I'm sure that if you use your imagination, you can think of something that'll make my sister happy.
We need an extra table for two VIPs, ASAP.
- Where's what's-her-face? - She quit.
- Quit?! - And we're at capacity.
Um, Easton, I finished dessert, but I've gotta sort of tell you Well, that makes you our new maître d'.
Go and find a solution.
Now! You, update.
Chef, I've rigged the water bath so we can still sous vide, I've prepped all the veg and the stock is done.
- Service in 60.
- Good.
Come on in! Welcome to June.
Have a sit.
Hi, Margot! Hey, Ben.
- Welcome! Good to see you.
- Oh wow.
I love the garage.
I've never seen anything like it.
Well, if the food's as cool as the fit-out, this should be quite an experience.
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks.
Um, so, have a look around.
Um, we'll be calling service soon.
If you see a guy with a shotgun, just ignore him.
That's just my pop.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
Hi! Welcome.
- Did she say 'shotgun'? - I hope so.
Holy shit! Frangipani Fanny is here! She's a massive food blogger from Sydney.
Well, you have my permission to kick her in the fanny if she asks for a freebie.
And Margot's here.
With Ben Zhao.
- Together? - Mm-hm.
- (GUNSHOT OUTSIDE) - Oh.
Pop's entertaining the guests.
Service! Let's go.
- Mmm! - Who brings a roadie in a wine glass? Mmm! Straight ahead.
Oh, no, turn right.
Yeah, I know! Oh, look what they've done to the place! - Incredible.
- Whoa.
(SLURS) Look! It's incredible! Our happy childhood home! Look, we don't have to go in.
Mmm.
- Great, but - Mmm! You get yourself ready for a an entree of escargot on my mother's empty grave, Bretty.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
A glass of wine with my absent, alcoholic father.
You've just got a bit a little bit there, - just on your lipstick - Mmm.
Some lipstick, on your lips (CHUCKLES) You What are you - Jimmy-fucking-West! - Whoa, whoa I'm coming for you! - You cowardly piece of shit! - Babe - No, no.
- (DOOR LOCK BEEPS) - Let Check Brett - Why why don't we just go home? Why don't we just go home? Give me back my my fucking daughter! Right fucking now! Oh! - Baby.
Baby - Mmm! Let's let Diana have her night, eh? Killing your brother's only a short-term solution.
You've gotta learn to play the long game, love.
Chef West's scallops with sage cream.
Coquilles Saint Jacques? Wow.
I thought you were doing a Nordic new-wave thing.
This is more like French old-wave.
Chef won his Michelin star with tonight's menu, which is a celebration of his food journey.
He asks that you please enjoy.
It looks elegant.
Yeah, but what is it saying? The critics are gonna crucify us for this old-school food and my mum and dad didn't turn up.
I didn't tell Ben I'm working here.
I think we'll be crucified together.
Hey, love turds.
Stop fondling each other.
Mains service.
Let's go.
BOTH: Yes, Chef.
(LAUGHTER FROM DINING ROOM) Service! Go.
- Are the desserts ready? - Yes, Chef.
So, listen, I've gotta tell you something Three minutes and bring them out after my speech.
You're doing a speech without me? (DINERS APPLAUD) Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you and thank you for coming to this very special evening, the opening night of June.
Uh, it's been 30 years since I left home a young man with a dream of becoming one of the world's great chefs and through hard work and sacrifice, I am fortunate to say that I made that dream a reality.
Tonight's menu represents a lifetime dedicated to excellence.
It is the story of my career, a showcase of European fine dining that I'm thrilled to be able to bring back home and share with Australian diners for the very first time.
And the new chapter of my food journey has been co-written by my niece, Diana, an incredibly talented pastry chef who I have taken under my wing.
Thank you again.
It's good to be home.
Diana will now serve her dessert.
Bon appétit.
(DINERS APPLAUD) That speech made his venison seem interesting.
Mmm.
What is that? Hi, everyone.
My name is Diana West and I'm the pastry chef here tonight.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks for me.
I opened a restaurant, uh, with Unkie Eastie over there, um, and I also lost my virginity.
(DINERS GASP, APPLAUD) Thank you.
Tonight's dessert is the story of my deflowering (SCANDALISED LAUGHTER) and it is called Pop My Cherry Ripe.
So, we have for you a chocolate vagina.
Inside is a crème brûlée base made with milk stolen from the cows at the dairy next door.
We have roasted coconut, a cherry gel made from local produce and orgasmo popping candy.
- (LAUGHTER) - Thank you.
I hope you enjoy.
(DINERS APPLAUD) - After you.
- WOMAN: Did you get a spoon? (DINERS MURMUR IN CONFUSION) WOMAN: Well, how are you meant to eat it? MAN: I don't think we're supposed to have spoons.
(LAUGHS) WOMAN: No way! Congratulations, Chef.
Amazing.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, dude.
You need to copyright Diana's sweet, like, ASAP.
It's it's art, it's political, it's so now, you know? So, saw Kwame working for you.
Mmm.
He and Diana are a thing.
Right! Well, so he inspired Diana's dessert, then.
(LAUGHS) My man! I suppose you owe tonight's success to him, then.
And considering I taught him everything he knows (SNIGGERS) I'm just messing with you, bruh.
I'll go say hi to him now.
Congrats again.
He's always very pleased with himself, isn't he? Well, he is very clever.
Well, I had a wonderful time.
And the food? I liked it.
I was very pleased that you let Diana spread her wings.
Hmm.
Voilà.
My new dessert wine.
- - It's a little experimental.
I'm interested in your and Diana's thoughts.
- We should have some now.
- BEN: Margot! - Tomorrow, you - Tomorrow's good also.
could send over that money you owe me.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yes, right.
Well Actually, save a trip.
Why don't I just pay you now? Good-oh.
(GIGGLES) - Hey! - Hey.
What's up? - He was so angry.
- Easton? Ben.
About me working here.
He said he'd supported me and I'd betrayed him.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
People suck.
I mean, my parents didn't even show up.
I told him I was just helping out my girlfriend, but he didn't care.
I'm sorry, Di.
I don't think I can work here again.
Really? I'm your girlfriend? Yeah.
I I thought we Is that okay? - Well, I I should go.
- Okay.
See ya boyfriend.
(GIGGLES) People raved to me, Easton! They fucking loved it! Frangipani Fanny said that she's never had a dining experience like this one! If I'd have pulled that shit when I was apprenticing What? I'm not your apprentice, Easton.
- I'm your business partner.
- A kitchen is a team.
Running off and showboating like that? It upset the whole balance of my menu.
The diners didn't get to understand my story.
It's un-fucking-professional! Okay.
Your menu was a bedtime story, dude.
I mean, I've been trying to tell you there's been a revolution in food while you've had your head up your arse.
Oh, and you think you're gonna win a star by putting your snatch on a plate? - It's tacky.
- Oh! (LAUGHS) You use me as a cover story for your pathetic has-been comeback and it's my vagina that's tacky? Okay.
Dude, I couldn't give a shit about stars, all right? I I want to make food that no-one's ever seen before, food that actually means something and it's pretty fucking crystal clear from your 'menu' that you have no new ideas yourself, so moving forward, maybe you should start listening to me.
Well, that's not gonna be necessary, because you and I are not gonna be moving forward.
Pack up your knives and get out of my fucking kitchen.
You're fired! And please do not be here when I get back! What?! You you can't fire me, you egomaniacal knob! You're fucking fired! Get the fuck out of my kitchen, bitch! (MUTTERS) Natural wines, experimental bloody piss-water.
Stupid, ballsy motherfucker Fuck! Oh! You'll not waste that, boy! I could have killed you, you bloody idiot! Kill me, then! Put it back, you silly sod! Never! Sometimes in life, a man has to do what's right.
Bullying people, throwing your weight around, trying to destroy beautiful young things just starting out in life! Put the bottle back, or I will Oh, go on, you great gobshite! Do it! Eh? Huh? Awww, haw, haww.
I didn't think so.
Oh, go and cry in the woods and take a good, hard look at yourself, you little pissant! (TELEVISION PLAYS SOFTLY) I can explain! Nooooo! I know you! You are the famous angry chef man! I feel worse.
JIM: That'll put hairs on your chest, that will.
Hairy tits.
The boys'll go nuts.
I know you're both angry with me Ooh! Oh!
La Moulineux was on that menu.
WINE SELLER: $870 a single.
- You can't live in a shed.
- Oh! But it's all right for a dining room, is it? You only get those once you've created a world-class, Michelin-level dessert, by this evening.
(ROARS) - But what is the truth? - Your mother packed up and left! You should come to the opening.
I wouldn't miss it.
Dude, we totally just popped our cherries.
This is my dessert.
Is this some kind of a joke? If you really want to take it to the next level, you need to start listening to me, got it? - Easton, what are - Shh! Okay.
Go! - Just look out for the farmer! - Ooh! Why can't we just buy milk at the servo? It's, like, a buck a litre and nowhere near as much shit on the floor.
It's opening night.
We need the freshest milk we can source.
This dessert is all about terroir.
Ter-wha? Terroir.
It's French.
It means the taste of the soil, the land the produce is grown on.
Right.
That sounds unhygienic.
What exactly is this dessert? Crème brûlée? I told you, it was on the menu when I won my first Michelin star.
- You don't think it needs - No.
I thought we established you would follow my lead.
Just make 20 more as perfect as that one and I will be very happy.
Well, as long as you're happy.
That's the 11th person I've turned away for tonight.
We should have set up more tables.
The harder it is to get in, the more buzz we get.
Then we add the tables and raise the prices.
Just leave the business to me and you keep answering the telephones.
We need a proper maître d'.
We just stole $2 worth of milk from a cow.
We can't afford a proper maître d'.
How'd you get Zhao's guy, then? I give him my body for whatever demented pleasures he so desires.
80 minutes at 86 degrees.
- Don't take your eyes off it.
- Oui, Chef.
I want you all to taste La Moulineux merlot.
You need to understand how it's going to bring the whole menu together.
Crème brûlée? And I thought you said we were going to be the next Noma.
Yes, we will.
He's just going for a more classical, refined thing and once we're established, I'll be able to bring in my own stuff.
It's good.
He's He knows what he's doing.
What is that smell? You don't smell that? - Ironic.
- What? You walked through that bullshit to make this bullshit.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, maybe it'll pair with his bullshit French wine.
(GLASS BOTTLES CHINK) What.
The.
Actual Fuuuuuck?! (LAUGHS) (FAST-PACED ROCK MUSIC) Last time we had a legit meeting with Margot, you just left me there.
Now you want me to come and taste her wines, even though I know nothing about wine.
- Makes no sense.
- You learn on the job.
I got where I did working under great chefs.
I was under a great chef last week, but we definitely weren't working! You said, and I quote, "Margot Duplass is an hysterical witch whose natural wines taste like hangover piss.
" Well, don't mention that when you ask for the loan.
What loan? Your alcoholic grandfather stole and drank my only case of merlot.
The only cash we have is in the ashtray of that ute and we're on the only vineyard owned by someone we sort of know.
Do the maths.
Diana would love to apologise for missing our meeting the other day.
Oh, she's got nothing to apologise for.
(FAINT BEEPING) I'll be back.
Gotta take this call.
Press.
All over me.
Don't know how he's making calls.
We have zero reception up here.
(GLASS CHINKS) Come.
Taste.
Oh, no.
I I actually know nothing about wine.
Uh, the last stuff I had was straight out of a goon bag and it did not end well.
Ah, our industry is full of wankers.
They want you to think you know nothing so they can flog their over-processed, over-marketed garbage.
And I'm the crazy one, because I want to make wines naturally.
What do you taste? I I don't know.
Grapes.
What about at the back? Blackcurrant note, maybe? Actually, yeah.
Now that you've said it, I can I can taste that.
Wine should tell a story about the place that it's made and the people that make it.
- That's what gives it its meaning.
- Yeah.
I've I've actually started doing that with my latest dishes.
Oh! I tasted your moonshine cake! - Oh! - It was fantastic.
Yeah? Thank you.
Actually, he didn't tell me that.
(LAUGHS) Of course he didn't.
What actually happened the last time he came up here? I had him for lunch.
That's fruity.
Is, um is it plums? See? Very good! You've got an excellent palate.
You should trust it.
Actually Easton sort of brought me here to ask you something.
- Oh, did he, now? - Yeah.
It's a little embarrassing.
Adelaide Hills pinot.
Soft and plummy with a good tannic structure.
You can pay me tonight if you make any money.
That won't be a problem.
We're fully booked.
Margot's kindly accepted our invitation for dinner.
Oh, really? Great.
Well, it's the least we could do to make up for Diana's no-show.
Thanks for the wine.
Well, it's no over-priced merlot, but hopefully this hysterical witch's brew will be more than a match for your culinary genius.
See you both tonight.
I like her.
I'm sorry for calling you a cockwomble.
DENISE: (ON PHONE) What is that word? I don't know.
I heard it once and I thought it sounded funny.
All right.
Hey, I got you a VIP table.
- EASTON: Diana! - Really? You should see what we've done with the place, Mum.
- It looks freaking amazing.
- EASTON: (SHOUTS) Diana! - I've gotta go.
I'll see you tonight.
- Okay.
- How's the mix? - Yeah, almost ready, Chef.
Okay.
Let's stay focused.
We'll get onto the scallop entree next.
- (GUNSHOT OUTSIDE) - Christ almighty! What the hell's he doing? Maybe he's feeling a bit left out.
Go grab that gun off him.
KWAME: Chef.
Chef! You said you knew how to use a sous vide, you idiot! I do! I set it to 86 degrees, like you said.
It's the dodgy machine you got off Gumtree.
All my venison is fucking fucked! I'll go to the butcher's.
They're still open.
We had to order it.
We bought all they had.
Why don't we just get Pop to get us a roo? I mean, you can cook it on the fire pit.
It'll be more like the restaurant I imagined anyway.
- It'll be totes terroir.
- This is fine dining, not a shitty sausage sizzle! This menu won me a Michelin star! Have you ever won a star? - No.
- Have you ever won anything? CWA's Best Cake at the Uraidla Fair last year.
Exactly, so just keep your shit ideas to yourself and just do what you're told like a good little girl.
Fuck! The supplier's in Hahndorf, Vasiliadi's Venison.
I doubt they sell directly from the farm, though.
Okay.
Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? Okay.
While I'm gone, you take over the mise en place.
You, fix the sous vide machine or find a work-around and you, just pull your finger out of your arse and stop looking so fucking miserable! - (SLAMS DOOR) - I'm not putting up with him.
Arni, most geniuses act like wankers, okay? Mozart wanker.
Steve Jobs wanker.
The Dalai Lama? Probably a total wanker! Um, seriously? - What's gotten into you lately? - What do you mean? Your priorities are warped.
You abandon me and our business, talk me into working here for free, then try and justify this guy treating us both like absolute crap? Are you kidding? This is our big break! He's using us as cheap labour! You're basically his apprentice.
We were selling cakes in a car park before I set all this up.
We are literally on the verge of everything that we've dreamed about.
Maybe, but I don't want to do it like this and not with him.
Bitch, do not abandon me right now.
Bitch, stop being his bitch.
After all I've done for you? I literally carried Hot Buns for years, 'cause trust me, babe, no-one was coming for your shitty sago pudding pots, okay? I've let you follow me around and copy me since year 7 and now you're just gonna leave me at my hour of need? You're such a fucking selfish Go on.
bitch! Nice.
You and him deserve one another.
- (SLAMS DOOR) - BRETT: What did Diana say? - DENISE: She's got us a VIP table.
- Ooh! She sounded so grown-up.
Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight? Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Why? Oh, just checking.
Oh! I like the outfit.
Well, the press will be there.
I can't have them thinking that every West is a classless scumbag.
Yeah, right.
Oh! I wonder what's on the menu.
- I'm starving! - Mmm.
You're drinking.
Relax, Brett.
It's Saturday.
But you don't drink.
I don't not drink.
I'm just not a chronic alcoholic like the rest of my family.
(CONTINUES POURING) - Hi.
- Oh, my God! You're, um Oh! Fritzen - Easton West, yes.
- Yes! Ha! (LAUGHS) Oh, wow.
Is this a TV thing? - What Hey, Mama! - No, no.
No, no, is the boss here? I'm the boss, you vlaka.
Eh? (LAUGHS) Oh, wow.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Like, I'm a fan, but my sister is obsessed.
- You have to say hello to her.
- Oh, lovely.
Uh, actually, the reason I'm here is I really need to Hey, Mama (SPEAKS GREEK) Hey, Maureen.
Guess who's in the living room right now.
(LAUGHS) (GASPS) Oh, my God! Are we on TV? I need some venison for my restaurant.
Oh, no, sorry.
We don't have any of that.
What? (LAUGHS) I'm jokin', mate! We're a frickin' venison farm! Here.
Hold that and I'll radio the boys in cold store.
This is unbelievable.
I've got all your books, even that crap Christmas one you did with Delia.
- (BATH WATER SLOSHES) - Close your eyes.
I'm getting out.
No peeking! Hey, how much do you want? 4 kilos of fillet.
(SPEAKS GREEK) Oh, my God.
You're even better looking in real life! (SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) Let me take a picture.
- Say cheese! - Cheese! (SNAPS PICTURES) Nice! Thicken, you stupid piece of fricking shit! Frickin' boring crème brûlée! (GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION) The salt from your sweat or tears made it split.
Maybe you should take a break.
I'll re-do it for you.
I've been a royal dick, haven't I? We need to push on.
We have diners coming who've paid a stupid amount for the privilege.
We owe them a good dessert.
I don't want to give them just a good dessert.
I want to give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert.
Okay.
Well, then give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then! Okay! Then I will give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then.
Good.
You didn't answer my question about me being a royal dick.
Yes.
You were being a royal dick.
Thank you.
You, uh you saved me.
This is truly a debt I can never repay.
Um, hang on, what do you mean, you can never repay? Well, I can pay, just that we deal in cash, so I I can only pay after service.
Well, we'll have a VIP table, for starters, for tonight.
And then you and I can talk about a repayment plan.
I'm sorry.
We're fully booked.
Well, our meat's fully booked, mate.
Listen.
We'll make a trade, hmm? We have goods that can make you happy and I'm sure that if you use your imagination, you can think of something that'll make my sister happy.
We need an extra table for two VIPs, ASAP.
- Where's what's-her-face? - She quit.
- Quit?! - And we're at capacity.
Um, Easton, I finished dessert, but I've gotta sort of tell you Well, that makes you our new maître d'.
Go and find a solution.
Now! You, update.
Chef, I've rigged the water bath so we can still sous vide, I've prepped all the veg and the stock is done.
- Service in 60.
- Good.
Come on in! Welcome to June.
Have a sit.
Hi, Margot! Hey, Ben.
- Welcome! Good to see you.
- Oh wow.
I love the garage.
I've never seen anything like it.
Well, if the food's as cool as the fit-out, this should be quite an experience.
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks.
Um, so, have a look around.
Um, we'll be calling service soon.
If you see a guy with a shotgun, just ignore him.
That's just my pop.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
Hi! Welcome.
- Did she say 'shotgun'? - I hope so.
Holy shit! Frangipani Fanny is here! She's a massive food blogger from Sydney.
Well, you have my permission to kick her in the fanny if she asks for a freebie.
And Margot's here.
With Ben Zhao.
- Together? - Mm-hm.
- (GUNSHOT OUTSIDE) - Oh.
Pop's entertaining the guests.
Service! Let's go.
- Mmm! - Who brings a roadie in a wine glass? Mmm! Straight ahead.
Oh, no, turn right.
Yeah, I know! Oh, look what they've done to the place! - Incredible.
- Whoa.
(SLURS) Look! It's incredible! Our happy childhood home! Look, we don't have to go in.
Mmm.
- Great, but - Mmm! You get yourself ready for a an entree of escargot on my mother's empty grave, Bretty.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
A glass of wine with my absent, alcoholic father.
You've just got a bit a little bit there, - just on your lipstick - Mmm.
Some lipstick, on your lips (CHUCKLES) You What are you - Jimmy-fucking-West! - Whoa, whoa I'm coming for you! - You cowardly piece of shit! - Babe - No, no.
- (DOOR LOCK BEEPS) - Let Check Brett - Why why don't we just go home? Why don't we just go home? Give me back my my fucking daughter! Right fucking now! Oh! - Baby.
Baby - Mmm! Let's let Diana have her night, eh? Killing your brother's only a short-term solution.
You've gotta learn to play the long game, love.
Chef West's scallops with sage cream.
Coquilles Saint Jacques? Wow.
I thought you were doing a Nordic new-wave thing.
This is more like French old-wave.
Chef won his Michelin star with tonight's menu, which is a celebration of his food journey.
He asks that you please enjoy.
It looks elegant.
Yeah, but what is it saying? The critics are gonna crucify us for this old-school food and my mum and dad didn't turn up.
I didn't tell Ben I'm working here.
I think we'll be crucified together.
Hey, love turds.
Stop fondling each other.
Mains service.
Let's go.
BOTH: Yes, Chef.
(LAUGHTER FROM DINING ROOM) Service! Go.
- Are the desserts ready? - Yes, Chef.
So, listen, I've gotta tell you something Three minutes and bring them out after my speech.
You're doing a speech without me? (DINERS APPLAUD) Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you and thank you for coming to this very special evening, the opening night of June.
Uh, it's been 30 years since I left home a young man with a dream of becoming one of the world's great chefs and through hard work and sacrifice, I am fortunate to say that I made that dream a reality.
Tonight's menu represents a lifetime dedicated to excellence.
It is the story of my career, a showcase of European fine dining that I'm thrilled to be able to bring back home and share with Australian diners for the very first time.
And the new chapter of my food journey has been co-written by my niece, Diana, an incredibly talented pastry chef who I have taken under my wing.
Thank you again.
It's good to be home.
Diana will now serve her dessert.
Bon appétit.
(DINERS APPLAUD) That speech made his venison seem interesting.
Mmm.
What is that? Hi, everyone.
My name is Diana West and I'm the pastry chef here tonight.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks for me.
I opened a restaurant, uh, with Unkie Eastie over there, um, and I also lost my virginity.
(DINERS GASP, APPLAUD) Thank you.
Tonight's dessert is the story of my deflowering (SCANDALISED LAUGHTER) and it is called Pop My Cherry Ripe.
So, we have for you a chocolate vagina.
Inside is a crème brûlée base made with milk stolen from the cows at the dairy next door.
We have roasted coconut, a cherry gel made from local produce and orgasmo popping candy.
- (LAUGHTER) - Thank you.
I hope you enjoy.
(DINERS APPLAUD) - After you.
- WOMAN: Did you get a spoon? (DINERS MURMUR IN CONFUSION) WOMAN: Well, how are you meant to eat it? MAN: I don't think we're supposed to have spoons.
(LAUGHS) WOMAN: No way! Congratulations, Chef.
Amazing.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, dude.
You need to copyright Diana's sweet, like, ASAP.
It's it's art, it's political, it's so now, you know? So, saw Kwame working for you.
Mmm.
He and Diana are a thing.
Right! Well, so he inspired Diana's dessert, then.
(LAUGHS) My man! I suppose you owe tonight's success to him, then.
And considering I taught him everything he knows (SNIGGERS) I'm just messing with you, bruh.
I'll go say hi to him now.
Congrats again.
He's always very pleased with himself, isn't he? Well, he is very clever.
Well, I had a wonderful time.
And the food? I liked it.
I was very pleased that you let Diana spread her wings.
Hmm.
Voilà.
My new dessert wine.
- - It's a little experimental.
I'm interested in your and Diana's thoughts.
- We should have some now.
- BEN: Margot! - Tomorrow, you - Tomorrow's good also.
could send over that money you owe me.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yes, right.
Well Actually, save a trip.
Why don't I just pay you now? Good-oh.
(GIGGLES) - Hey! - Hey.
What's up? - He was so angry.
- Easton? Ben.
About me working here.
He said he'd supported me and I'd betrayed him.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
People suck.
I mean, my parents didn't even show up.
I told him I was just helping out my girlfriend, but he didn't care.
I'm sorry, Di.
I don't think I can work here again.
Really? I'm your girlfriend? Yeah.
I I thought we Is that okay? - Well, I I should go.
- Okay.
See ya boyfriend.
(GIGGLES) People raved to me, Easton! They fucking loved it! Frangipani Fanny said that she's never had a dining experience like this one! If I'd have pulled that shit when I was apprenticing What? I'm not your apprentice, Easton.
- I'm your business partner.
- A kitchen is a team.
Running off and showboating like that? It upset the whole balance of my menu.
The diners didn't get to understand my story.
It's un-fucking-professional! Okay.
Your menu was a bedtime story, dude.
I mean, I've been trying to tell you there's been a revolution in food while you've had your head up your arse.
Oh, and you think you're gonna win a star by putting your snatch on a plate? - It's tacky.
- Oh! (LAUGHS) You use me as a cover story for your pathetic has-been comeback and it's my vagina that's tacky? Okay.
Dude, I couldn't give a shit about stars, all right? I I want to make food that no-one's ever seen before, food that actually means something and it's pretty fucking crystal clear from your 'menu' that you have no new ideas yourself, so moving forward, maybe you should start listening to me.
Well, that's not gonna be necessary, because you and I are not gonna be moving forward.
Pack up your knives and get out of my fucking kitchen.
You're fired! And please do not be here when I get back! What?! You you can't fire me, you egomaniacal knob! You're fucking fired! Get the fuck out of my kitchen, bitch! (MUTTERS) Natural wines, experimental bloody piss-water.
Stupid, ballsy motherfucker Fuck! Oh! You'll not waste that, boy! I could have killed you, you bloody idiot! Kill me, then! Put it back, you silly sod! Never! Sometimes in life, a man has to do what's right.
Bullying people, throwing your weight around, trying to destroy beautiful young things just starting out in life! Put the bottle back, or I will Oh, go on, you great gobshite! Do it! Eh? Huh? Awww, haw, haww.
I didn't think so.
Oh, go and cry in the woods and take a good, hard look at yourself, you little pissant! (TELEVISION PLAYS SOFTLY) I can explain! Nooooo! I know you! You are the famous angry chef man! I feel worse.
JIM: That'll put hairs on your chest, that will.
Hairy tits.
The boys'll go nuts.
I know you're both angry with me Ooh! Oh!