Aliens in America s01e04 Episode Script
The metamorphosis
I call my style scholastic camouflage.
Nothing I wear sticks out in any way whatsoever.
I have busted this wide open.
My mom had less modest plans.
I found a cool tracker in Madison.
who told me that all the cool kids are wearing this right now in Orange County.
See, mom, cool hip kids can, can wear that but if I wear a shirt that says "Computers Rock", people just think that, i think computers rock.
I know this can only be in badly, but project "Justin" gave my mom such a sense of purpose.
- Fine, I'll wear it.
- Yes! Oh, they do rock.
For some reason, Raja's endorsement didn't boost my confidence.
And whether my mom actually know a cool tracker or not, Medora wasn't ready for my new look.
- People are staring.
- Of course they're staring.
You look like a bobsleigh racer.
Nice butt, skinny jeans! Although Claire was popular for a sophomore, she still hadn't reach the status of Anita Richardson and her friends.
They think they're so cool with their French manicures and great tops.
I can't be seen with you two.
Anita and her friends on the very top of the stairs, the A level.
- And therefore, Claire hated them.
- Well - I think you look terrific.
- Again, not a confidence booster.
Listened and scripted by Rodrigo Justin, why are we moving? Can you not see this workstation has no centrifuge? Because I wanna be as far away from Anita as possible.
- Why? - Too much history.
Anita was my first girlfriend.
We used to play Sleeping Beauty together.
We are going to get married one day, and have 3 children.
A boy, a girl and a kitty.
But then, in first grade, we decided to break up.
It was mutual.
By high school, Anita and my romance was a distant memory.
But she did retain enjoy of hurting me.
- Hey, Justin, what's up? - Hey, Anita, what's up? Nothing.
You know, this might sound crazy but Do you wanna get out of here? - Do you mean after math class? - Like, now.
But I have math class.
Don't you like me, Justin? I mean, like me, like me? Anita, do you wanna skip class with me? Are you insane? Anita tortured for this with a lot of guys in school.
but I was the only one who kept falling for it.
Hey, guys.
So, Roger, what's up? Not much, Lilly.
I'm having to work without a centrifuge.
You know, I've had my eye on you, ever since you emigrated here.
Oh, that is nice of you to say.
Now if you would please excuse me, class is about to begin.
It's just, I've never been with such an exotic guy.
Why are you behaving in such a suggestive manner? Are you honestly trying to create a romantic relationship with a complete stranger? What have you done? - This is the best thing ever.
- Legends will be written about you, Raja.
pass down from generation to generation using the old tradition of story telling.
Anita smells exactly like vanilla envelopes.
Who can resist that? - I guess, I can, Dooley.
- It's like you don't have a penis.
Just because i do not want to rub my liver up against every single female i see.
That does not mean I do not possess one.
How much would you love to rub your liver up against Anita? Infinity.
This Justin, pinks not just for baby girls anymore.
Hey, did you know Connie West is actually form the midwest? What you doing? Look, I don't want you to freak out but, I'm going back to my old style, mom.
Oh, OK.
No problem.
She took that relatively well.
We used to be a team, Gary.
Like other mother-son teams.
Honey, I think you're overreacting.
You still cut his hair, you still cut his meat.
No, no, no, he put a strap to that years ago.
I like huge choke.
Gosto de pedaços grandes mãe, vou engasgar.
No, a little space might be good for Justin.
Try it for a couple of weeks, see if you can stay out of the kids life? Of course I can stay out of the kids life.
I'm very busy with my "Daughters of the American Revolution".
Franny.
He looks like a U.
P.
S.
driver.
He's gonna get eaten a life.
Your group assignment for this quarter is to pick a .
.
for me insect world and do a .
.
presentation on like that insect is the best.
Come on.
I wanna get out here before Anita catches us.
Come on Roger, what was that all about yesterday? I don't get it, are you gay? He's not gay.
He's just from a different culture.
- Is your name Roger? - No, nobody's is.
Anita, I'm sorry if I offended you, but your behavior make me uncomfortable.
You're doing it again.
- What are you trying to pull? - Nothing.
Anita, it's simply saddens me to see you behave in a manner that you do.
What are you talking about? It is as if the only value you have is your sexuality.
And i think you greately underestimate what else you have yo offer.
Is everyone in you country as cruel as you? No, hey.
Don't fall for it.
She's rolling you in.
Raja might have been fooled by a few lame tears.
But I knew better.
Anita Richerson wasn't a normal girl.
She was a robot.
A robot who ran on the fuel of broken nerve dreams.
I knew this was as trap.
Cause I'm the girl with the hard body and sick cheek bones.
Everyone thinks like I've no brain.
It's like they're trying to pitch in hole to me But there so many special things about you.
The other day you made an impactful comment in biology.
You said: "Butterflies are hawked" and then you proceeded to back that up with some pretty convinving evidence.
You're right.
I did.
In spite of your tears .
.
, you revealed yourself to be a person who is incredibly articulate and intelligent.
And you know, Anita, you could be a very sharp student - if you simply focused on it.
- Maybe.
I learned your name really quickly, didn't I Raja? - Let's go, Anita.
- Aha, so, this is where the road ends.
And her friends comments laughing.
I think I might take the bus with these guys today.
Wait, what? What's happening? Are you OK? Use our safe word.
I'm fine.
I'm just having a conversation.
Anita's friend was right.
What was happening? My mom had found a new outlet for her creative energy.
Cleaning everything from the cabinets to the bars of soap.
- Hey, hon.
- Hey, hon.
Now, she was on to the inside of the dishwasher.
You would not believe the day I had.
I'll get it.
A couple of collage kids dressed like stock brokers came to the office today to lecture on efficacy and profitability in business.
I got this big meeting on friday.
The head of marketing is coming up from Chicago, and i feel like he's gonna take one look at me and said "Don't fit in?" And just like that, my mom had found a new dishwasher to clean.
Well, Hover, you said for businness ? Well, I've got my suit and my backup suit.
Well, maybe it's time you start dressing for success.
Sounds good.
I'll get that.
Justin, I've been thinking about the whole butterfly thing.
and I came up with an amazing idea.
Why don't you, me and Raja form a group for the bio project? Boy, if Anita was playing us, she was really good at it.
Yep, sounds great.
Awesome.
She was so pretty.
Even in her new boring clothes.
What was that? I think we're doing the bio project with Anita.
- Justin, that is great.
- No.
No, that's not great.
God, I cannot believe I fell for this again.
Trust me, as soon as we get up to do the presentation - Anita.
.
What did your Mexican buddy do to my girlfriend Tolchuck? I don't know, why don't you ask him? - He doesn't speak English, duh! - I'm Pakistani, not Mexican.
See? He totally wrecked Anita.
She doesn't wanna show my any of the good stuff and all she wants to da is talk.
Now I need a new girlfriend.
- Are you OK? - I was bteer than OK.
Buck was really angry.
Which meant Anita had really changed.
Maybe we'd have our 3 kids after all.
I'm great.
- She is so beautiful.
- More importantly, I bet she has a big heart.
Actually it's the size of a caroway seed.
As we started our project, my sister started a project of her own.
Wow.
Great top.
I know.
There was an opening at the A level now.
And Claire wanted to check out the view from the top.
- Oh, Gary.
- Good coat! Once in a while I remember why I do this work.
Do you have this in green? Don't speak.
I guess my dad was a lot like a butterly too.
And he seem to enjoy his metamorphosis.
Even if it did cost 1.
618 dolars.
OK, hon.
Choice A or B? A, B.
Apples and oranges, one makes my eyes pop the other matches my hair.
Speaking of which, what kind of product do you wanna use? You mean like cleaning product? You really are a canvas.
Hey, do you have anything for these dark circles in my eyes? Yeah, how about some tanning spray? Honey, please, that's not me.
I'll just use more of the placenta cream.
-Damn.
- Buck found his new girlfriend.
- I'll be back later.
- I trust you.
You're doing a great job giving them their space, hon.
Claire's got that new boyfriend, Justin's in the other room with that Amish girl.
When you think about it, out job parenting is almost done.
Should we have another baby? Why don't we give that tanning sprayer shot? So we say "in summation or in conclusion"? How about "as we bring this life cycle to a close"? Amazing.
Is this from Mrs.
Cobiola's kindergarden class.
I have one just like it.
I know, except yours is a fairy.
Or dogguessing Wait, were we in kindergarden together? Now this might've been a worldwrecking comment if it weren't for the next thing Anita did.
Oh, my God, we totally were.
How funny is that.
So funny.
Alright, see you guys tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, it is so on.
- What is so on? Anita.
She likes me.
Of course, she likes you, Justin.
You are a great person, - smart, - No, no, no, no, she likes me likes me, ok? Now the only thing i gotto do is figure out how to get her alone.
I can not believe you, Justin Tolchuck.
You are just like Buck and the other guys.
All you want to do is bang in to her.
Funny thing is up until a year ago, i thought that was the expression.
No, I'm nothing like those guys, Ok, I am just not as Muslim as you about dating.
Why can't you be happy for me and Anita? The whole reason she likes us, Justin, is because we value her mind, - not her large chest.
- She touched my arm.
If you ask her out, Justin, she will no longer trust us.
Without trust, there will be no friendship.
And without friendship, there will be no science project.
I can't believe you.
You're jealous.
- That is crazy.
- No, you're jealous.
You want Anita, and you can't have her, so, you don't want anyone else to have her.
You are being ridiculous, you have clearly gone mad with lust.
- Said that jealous exchange student.
- You are I once heard him say that to a telemarketer so i know wasn't good.
After my fight with Raja, I turned to the two people i know i could count on.
She touched your arm, it's so on.
- That's what i said.
- Anita Richardson.
She's probably done everything, man, missionary, feeding the eagle, hang man's notch, maybe you'll give Anita a roman helmet.
You're totally gonna make love, Justin.
Oh, hail mighty Caesar.
A Roman helmet? I am so glad to see that you are expecting Anita, Justin.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
Oh, so draping your genitals across somebodys forehead is not degrading? Not when two people love each other.
How Raja knew what a Roman helmet was, - I'll never know.
- You're totally gonna make love.
Ok, you gotta stop saying that.
It's creepy.
Our customers are regular people, they're simple folk.
Meanwhile, my dad was getting ready to dazzle the big time Chicago brass.
We're going to return to those same downhome traditional values that this company was built on.
Dispite the tension between me and Raja, we managed to get through our presentation.
After class, Raja went off to prayer or something.
Leaving me alone with Anita.
I just wish the project didn't have to end.
It's been so fun being one of the smart kids for change.
You know, if you want there is a butterfly exhibit at the natural history.
Maybe we could like check it out or something.
Maybe to get some extra credit.
- Sure.
- Really? Yeah.
Oh, and tell Raja.
You bet.
That wasn't going to happen.
And Killie Grachaud, she is anorexic too.
All she had fillen is a pack of a sweetener - I know, she look great.
- So hot.
So when does the party start? This is the party.
Serioulsy? This is it? Yeah, don't worry.
When the guys are done wrestling, they probably wanna make querer dar uns amassos.
- You want more? - More.
With us? Without Raja around to push his friendship agenda, Anita and I enjoyed our date together.
That was amazing.
There must've been a millon butterflies in there.
Man, I don't know about a millon, I think I saw more like 750 thousand.
Oh, my God.
Look.
Look, it's a little caterpillar.
I think it wants to come with us.
Well, we could raise it as our own.
Let's call him Justin, Jr.
After his dad.
Seeing Anita there, looking so beautiful, nurturing our baby caterpillar, I realized without a doubt this was my moment.
Did you just kiss me? Yes.
Why? Ah, because we both like caterpillars? - Oh, my God.
- No, I'm sorry.
I just, I thought It was all the time we've been spending together.
You actually thought you had a shot with me? I just feel like you're being a little mean.
Studying is one thing, but we just frenched.
I'm sorry, this all made sense 12 seconds ago.
Eww, a worm.
Larva, you know that.
I gotta go.
Sleeping Beauty had just woken up and took a royal dump on my heart.
Did you tell them that this is what people are wearing right now at Wall Street? Wouldn't have mattered.
It was a total bust.
Mr.
Graves called me a fruitcake.
But you are so dapper He said that too, didn't sound as nice when he said it.
Thanks God for the spray tan, he thinks he can't fire me because I'm a Native American.
Oh, my God.
Everyone would just be so much better off without me.
- Try to cry on the white part.
- Ok.
But then came the sweetest sound my mom had ever heard.
My life sucks.
Oh, honey.
Make the pain go away mom.
And with that, the sweet dance of codependence was on again.
I will, sweetie.
Come on we're gonna go on the kitchen and make you some brownies.
We'll cut 'em up in the shape of footballs.
It was so on.
- Nice moves.
- Thanks.
- I heard about you and.
.
- You know, it was just.
.
- Totally.
- And you're right about the - So, are we? - Yes.
- Two players.
- You know it.
No matter where you come from, apologies between two guys work the same way.
But I guess for Raja, there was a little more to say.
I was jealous, Justin.
You are right.
You know, I pretend to be about certain feelings because they are outside my fate.
And well, because sometimes they are easy to deny, but in truth they are there.
And Anita was lovely.
And she did listen to me.
And you know, she really did smell like manila envelopes.
Raja went on talking, despite the fact that I killed him 5 times in a row.
I think it felt good for him to admit some things.
I was glad to know the most honorable kid in the world, and my best friend, was a sucker too.
It's very difficult to ignore the wafting odor Watch it.
So it's over with you and Buck? You know, I decided that status and popularity shouldn't be the only driving force in my life.
Also, Buck may be retarded - It's Anita.
- Dude, don't be embarrassed.
You're not the one who kissed you.
Do you think that I'm anything to her? Oh, yeah, she'll never forget you.
Really? You're the biggest mistake she ever made.
That'll last forever.
The biggest mistake, ever.
Yeah.
Nothing I wear sticks out in any way whatsoever.
I have busted this wide open.
My mom had less modest plans.
I found a cool tracker in Madison.
who told me that all the cool kids are wearing this right now in Orange County.
See, mom, cool hip kids can, can wear that but if I wear a shirt that says "Computers Rock", people just think that, i think computers rock.
I know this can only be in badly, but project "Justin" gave my mom such a sense of purpose.
- Fine, I'll wear it.
- Yes! Oh, they do rock.
For some reason, Raja's endorsement didn't boost my confidence.
And whether my mom actually know a cool tracker or not, Medora wasn't ready for my new look.
- People are staring.
- Of course they're staring.
You look like a bobsleigh racer.
Nice butt, skinny jeans! Although Claire was popular for a sophomore, she still hadn't reach the status of Anita Richardson and her friends.
They think they're so cool with their French manicures and great tops.
I can't be seen with you two.
Anita and her friends on the very top of the stairs, the A level.
- And therefore, Claire hated them.
- Well - I think you look terrific.
- Again, not a confidence booster.
Listened and scripted by Rodrigo Justin, why are we moving? Can you not see this workstation has no centrifuge? Because I wanna be as far away from Anita as possible.
- Why? - Too much history.
Anita was my first girlfriend.
We used to play Sleeping Beauty together.
We are going to get married one day, and have 3 children.
A boy, a girl and a kitty.
But then, in first grade, we decided to break up.
It was mutual.
By high school, Anita and my romance was a distant memory.
But she did retain enjoy of hurting me.
- Hey, Justin, what's up? - Hey, Anita, what's up? Nothing.
You know, this might sound crazy but Do you wanna get out of here? - Do you mean after math class? - Like, now.
But I have math class.
Don't you like me, Justin? I mean, like me, like me? Anita, do you wanna skip class with me? Are you insane? Anita tortured for this with a lot of guys in school.
but I was the only one who kept falling for it.
Hey, guys.
So, Roger, what's up? Not much, Lilly.
I'm having to work without a centrifuge.
You know, I've had my eye on you, ever since you emigrated here.
Oh, that is nice of you to say.
Now if you would please excuse me, class is about to begin.
It's just, I've never been with such an exotic guy.
Why are you behaving in such a suggestive manner? Are you honestly trying to create a romantic relationship with a complete stranger? What have you done? - This is the best thing ever.
- Legends will be written about you, Raja.
pass down from generation to generation using the old tradition of story telling.
Anita smells exactly like vanilla envelopes.
Who can resist that? - I guess, I can, Dooley.
- It's like you don't have a penis.
Just because i do not want to rub my liver up against every single female i see.
That does not mean I do not possess one.
How much would you love to rub your liver up against Anita? Infinity.
This Justin, pinks not just for baby girls anymore.
Hey, did you know Connie West is actually form the midwest? What you doing? Look, I don't want you to freak out but, I'm going back to my old style, mom.
Oh, OK.
No problem.
She took that relatively well.
We used to be a team, Gary.
Like other mother-son teams.
Honey, I think you're overreacting.
You still cut his hair, you still cut his meat.
No, no, no, he put a strap to that years ago.
I like huge choke.
Gosto de pedaços grandes mãe, vou engasgar.
No, a little space might be good for Justin.
Try it for a couple of weeks, see if you can stay out of the kids life? Of course I can stay out of the kids life.
I'm very busy with my "Daughters of the American Revolution".
Franny.
He looks like a U.
P.
S.
driver.
He's gonna get eaten a life.
Your group assignment for this quarter is to pick a .
.
for me insect world and do a .
.
presentation on like that insect is the best.
Come on.
I wanna get out here before Anita catches us.
Come on Roger, what was that all about yesterday? I don't get it, are you gay? He's not gay.
He's just from a different culture.
- Is your name Roger? - No, nobody's is.
Anita, I'm sorry if I offended you, but your behavior make me uncomfortable.
You're doing it again.
- What are you trying to pull? - Nothing.
Anita, it's simply saddens me to see you behave in a manner that you do.
What are you talking about? It is as if the only value you have is your sexuality.
And i think you greately underestimate what else you have yo offer.
Is everyone in you country as cruel as you? No, hey.
Don't fall for it.
She's rolling you in.
Raja might have been fooled by a few lame tears.
But I knew better.
Anita Richerson wasn't a normal girl.
She was a robot.
A robot who ran on the fuel of broken nerve dreams.
I knew this was as trap.
Cause I'm the girl with the hard body and sick cheek bones.
Everyone thinks like I've no brain.
It's like they're trying to pitch in hole to me But there so many special things about you.
The other day you made an impactful comment in biology.
You said: "Butterflies are hawked" and then you proceeded to back that up with some pretty convinving evidence.
You're right.
I did.
In spite of your tears .
.
, you revealed yourself to be a person who is incredibly articulate and intelligent.
And you know, Anita, you could be a very sharp student - if you simply focused on it.
- Maybe.
I learned your name really quickly, didn't I Raja? - Let's go, Anita.
- Aha, so, this is where the road ends.
And her friends comments laughing.
I think I might take the bus with these guys today.
Wait, what? What's happening? Are you OK? Use our safe word.
I'm fine.
I'm just having a conversation.
Anita's friend was right.
What was happening? My mom had found a new outlet for her creative energy.
Cleaning everything from the cabinets to the bars of soap.
- Hey, hon.
- Hey, hon.
Now, she was on to the inside of the dishwasher.
You would not believe the day I had.
I'll get it.
A couple of collage kids dressed like stock brokers came to the office today to lecture on efficacy and profitability in business.
I got this big meeting on friday.
The head of marketing is coming up from Chicago, and i feel like he's gonna take one look at me and said "Don't fit in?" And just like that, my mom had found a new dishwasher to clean.
Well, Hover, you said for businness ? Well, I've got my suit and my backup suit.
Well, maybe it's time you start dressing for success.
Sounds good.
I'll get that.
Justin, I've been thinking about the whole butterfly thing.
and I came up with an amazing idea.
Why don't you, me and Raja form a group for the bio project? Boy, if Anita was playing us, she was really good at it.
Yep, sounds great.
Awesome.
She was so pretty.
Even in her new boring clothes.
What was that? I think we're doing the bio project with Anita.
- Justin, that is great.
- No.
No, that's not great.
God, I cannot believe I fell for this again.
Trust me, as soon as we get up to do the presentation - Anita.
.
What did your Mexican buddy do to my girlfriend Tolchuck? I don't know, why don't you ask him? - He doesn't speak English, duh! - I'm Pakistani, not Mexican.
See? He totally wrecked Anita.
She doesn't wanna show my any of the good stuff and all she wants to da is talk.
Now I need a new girlfriend.
- Are you OK? - I was bteer than OK.
Buck was really angry.
Which meant Anita had really changed.
Maybe we'd have our 3 kids after all.
I'm great.
- She is so beautiful.
- More importantly, I bet she has a big heart.
Actually it's the size of a caroway seed.
As we started our project, my sister started a project of her own.
Wow.
Great top.
I know.
There was an opening at the A level now.
And Claire wanted to check out the view from the top.
- Oh, Gary.
- Good coat! Once in a while I remember why I do this work.
Do you have this in green? Don't speak.
I guess my dad was a lot like a butterly too.
And he seem to enjoy his metamorphosis.
Even if it did cost 1.
618 dolars.
OK, hon.
Choice A or B? A, B.
Apples and oranges, one makes my eyes pop the other matches my hair.
Speaking of which, what kind of product do you wanna use? You mean like cleaning product? You really are a canvas.
Hey, do you have anything for these dark circles in my eyes? Yeah, how about some tanning spray? Honey, please, that's not me.
I'll just use more of the placenta cream.
-Damn.
- Buck found his new girlfriend.
- I'll be back later.
- I trust you.
You're doing a great job giving them their space, hon.
Claire's got that new boyfriend, Justin's in the other room with that Amish girl.
When you think about it, out job parenting is almost done.
Should we have another baby? Why don't we give that tanning sprayer shot? So we say "in summation or in conclusion"? How about "as we bring this life cycle to a close"? Amazing.
Is this from Mrs.
Cobiola's kindergarden class.
I have one just like it.
I know, except yours is a fairy.
Or dogguessing Wait, were we in kindergarden together? Now this might've been a worldwrecking comment if it weren't for the next thing Anita did.
Oh, my God, we totally were.
How funny is that.
So funny.
Alright, see you guys tomorrow.
- Oh, my God, it is so on.
- What is so on? Anita.
She likes me.
Of course, she likes you, Justin.
You are a great person, - smart, - No, no, no, no, she likes me likes me, ok? Now the only thing i gotto do is figure out how to get her alone.
I can not believe you, Justin Tolchuck.
You are just like Buck and the other guys.
All you want to do is bang in to her.
Funny thing is up until a year ago, i thought that was the expression.
No, I'm nothing like those guys, Ok, I am just not as Muslim as you about dating.
Why can't you be happy for me and Anita? The whole reason she likes us, Justin, is because we value her mind, - not her large chest.
- She touched my arm.
If you ask her out, Justin, she will no longer trust us.
Without trust, there will be no friendship.
And without friendship, there will be no science project.
I can't believe you.
You're jealous.
- That is crazy.
- No, you're jealous.
You want Anita, and you can't have her, so, you don't want anyone else to have her.
You are being ridiculous, you have clearly gone mad with lust.
- Said that jealous exchange student.
- You are I once heard him say that to a telemarketer so i know wasn't good.
After my fight with Raja, I turned to the two people i know i could count on.
She touched your arm, it's so on.
- That's what i said.
- Anita Richardson.
She's probably done everything, man, missionary, feeding the eagle, hang man's notch, maybe you'll give Anita a roman helmet.
You're totally gonna make love, Justin.
Oh, hail mighty Caesar.
A Roman helmet? I am so glad to see that you are expecting Anita, Justin.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
Oh, so draping your genitals across somebodys forehead is not degrading? Not when two people love each other.
How Raja knew what a Roman helmet was, - I'll never know.
- You're totally gonna make love.
Ok, you gotta stop saying that.
It's creepy.
Our customers are regular people, they're simple folk.
Meanwhile, my dad was getting ready to dazzle the big time Chicago brass.
We're going to return to those same downhome traditional values that this company was built on.
Dispite the tension between me and Raja, we managed to get through our presentation.
After class, Raja went off to prayer or something.
Leaving me alone with Anita.
I just wish the project didn't have to end.
It's been so fun being one of the smart kids for change.
You know, if you want there is a butterfly exhibit at the natural history.
Maybe we could like check it out or something.
Maybe to get some extra credit.
- Sure.
- Really? Yeah.
Oh, and tell Raja.
You bet.
That wasn't going to happen.
And Killie Grachaud, she is anorexic too.
All she had fillen is a pack of a sweetener - I know, she look great.
- So hot.
So when does the party start? This is the party.
Serioulsy? This is it? Yeah, don't worry.
When the guys are done wrestling, they probably wanna make querer dar uns amassos.
- You want more? - More.
With us? Without Raja around to push his friendship agenda, Anita and I enjoyed our date together.
That was amazing.
There must've been a millon butterflies in there.
Man, I don't know about a millon, I think I saw more like 750 thousand.
Oh, my God.
Look.
Look, it's a little caterpillar.
I think it wants to come with us.
Well, we could raise it as our own.
Let's call him Justin, Jr.
After his dad.
Seeing Anita there, looking so beautiful, nurturing our baby caterpillar, I realized without a doubt this was my moment.
Did you just kiss me? Yes.
Why? Ah, because we both like caterpillars? - Oh, my God.
- No, I'm sorry.
I just, I thought It was all the time we've been spending together.
You actually thought you had a shot with me? I just feel like you're being a little mean.
Studying is one thing, but we just frenched.
I'm sorry, this all made sense 12 seconds ago.
Eww, a worm.
Larva, you know that.
I gotta go.
Sleeping Beauty had just woken up and took a royal dump on my heart.
Did you tell them that this is what people are wearing right now at Wall Street? Wouldn't have mattered.
It was a total bust.
Mr.
Graves called me a fruitcake.
But you are so dapper He said that too, didn't sound as nice when he said it.
Thanks God for the spray tan, he thinks he can't fire me because I'm a Native American.
Oh, my God.
Everyone would just be so much better off without me.
- Try to cry on the white part.
- Ok.
But then came the sweetest sound my mom had ever heard.
My life sucks.
Oh, honey.
Make the pain go away mom.
And with that, the sweet dance of codependence was on again.
I will, sweetie.
Come on we're gonna go on the kitchen and make you some brownies.
We'll cut 'em up in the shape of footballs.
It was so on.
- Nice moves.
- Thanks.
- I heard about you and.
.
- You know, it was just.
.
- Totally.
- And you're right about the - So, are we? - Yes.
- Two players.
- You know it.
No matter where you come from, apologies between two guys work the same way.
But I guess for Raja, there was a little more to say.
I was jealous, Justin.
You are right.
You know, I pretend to be about certain feelings because they are outside my fate.
And well, because sometimes they are easy to deny, but in truth they are there.
And Anita was lovely.
And she did listen to me.
And you know, she really did smell like manila envelopes.
Raja went on talking, despite the fact that I killed him 5 times in a row.
I think it felt good for him to admit some things.
I was glad to know the most honorable kid in the world, and my best friend, was a sucker too.
It's very difficult to ignore the wafting odor Watch it.
So it's over with you and Buck? You know, I decided that status and popularity shouldn't be the only driving force in my life.
Also, Buck may be retarded - It's Anita.
- Dude, don't be embarrassed.
You're not the one who kissed you.
Do you think that I'm anything to her? Oh, yeah, she'll never forget you.
Really? You're the biggest mistake she ever made.
That'll last forever.
The biggest mistake, ever.
Yeah.