All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017) s01e04 Episode Script

Bridge on the River Mort

1 - [MORT CHUCKLES.]
- [GROWLS.]
- [MORT.]
I'm okay! - [LAUGHS.]
[THEME SONG PLAYING.]
Party [JULIEN.]
Whoa, you got to hear this.
Julien survived the tentacle beast With an assist from Snake Who was the man inside Ted's head And helped them all escape Mort befriended Zora After one magical night Clover trained with Jarsh-Jarsh Who treated her with All kinds of spite And barfed mud everywhere 'Cause that's what he does! [JULIEN.]
Numero four.
[EXCLAIMING.]
We will always remember you.
Bygones are bygones! Whatever that means.
I think it's time, Your Majesty.
You're right, Mo-Mo.
It's time for us to head back, take down Koto, and sha-rockit! Reclaim my throne, baby.
Um, logic police here.
[IMITATING SIREN.]
[LAUGHING.]
Got the place surrounded.
King J, we're just four lemurs, and Koto has an entire army! How are we gonna take your kingdom back? We don't need no stinkin' logic, Ted, 'cause we got the sea.
The sea will grant each man a new hope.
And with that hope, an army of our very own.
Right.
Uh, our own army.
Right.
- Uh, but, like, how? - What's with the third degree? We're on a submarine.
I'll figure it out.
[GRUNTING.]
[CLOVER YAWNING.]
What? Wait, where are we? Jarsh-Jarsh.
Your morning mouth toss is strong today, Sensei.
Hey! It got on my cheek.
Let me off! [WIND HOWLING.]
Where we goin' anyway? We are going where the curds of the mother create the fragile bond between child and goat.
Oh, yeah, there.
Just in time.
The dark one is fleeing.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Jarsh-Jarsh.
Jarsh-Jarsh.
Jarsh-Jarsh.
Um, guys? [SIGHS.]
What is starin' at the sun gonna do, eh? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I've failed myself, failed my king Hey! Hush.
Failing is not failure, but giving up is.
Now, look into the eyes of the sun and see the truth.
[THUDS.]
[PANTING.]
On it.
[SCREAMS.]
[CLOVER YELPING.]
It was awful.
[PANTING.]
I was being chased by Me.
I was so angry, and full of rage Well, I'm just, I'm destroying myself.
Jarsh-Jarsh, you're a genius! Good, Clover.
Admission of your rage, the next step on your hero's journey.
You are now ready for the ultimate weapon.
Yes! [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[YAWNING.]
Grab as many tools as you can.
Every prisoner needs something to help us dig an escape tunnel! [MAGGIE FARTING.]
Did you hear something, Mort? It wasn't me.
[MAGGIE FARTING.]
[GASPS.]
I had oysters.
[SLURPS.]
- No! - [MAGGIE FARTS.]
Not sorry.
Hi.
Caught this one sneaking around a garden shed, Your Majesty.
My jester.
My entertainer! - Can we kick him, King Koto? - No, Benson.
Not yet.
Mort, what were you in doing in the garden shed? Um Well, it's a surprise? - Tell me.
- Uh.
[YELPS.]
Was this surprise for my birthday? Uh, yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, that is just great! How did you know my big day was coming up? What do you got planned? Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.
Don't tell me, let me guess.
Since you're my jester, you were gonna put on some kind of performance? Right.
A play.
Ooh.
[LAUGHING.]
Guards, guards, grant Mort and the interns full access to the garden shed, so that they may put on a play for us.
Yes, a play.
Why are you giggling evilly, Mort? [GIGGLES.]
[HORST.]
Mort, you are a genius! I am? Sure-McClure! This play is the perfect distraction for our escape.
It is? While Mort writes and directs the play, the rest of us [SLURPS.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
dig.
[GIGGLES NERVOUSLY.]
All systems go, Your Majesty.
[SIGHS.]
You know, we've been through a lot of things together.
Some really bad stuff has happened.
But it feels pretty great knowing that nothing, and I mean no-thing, could ever go wrong down here in this submarine.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Pancho! Is red flashy lights good? Uh, there's some kind of malfunction.
Well, un-malfunctionize it, Pancho! I don't know how! [INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SCREAMING.]
I can't.
I-I can't [SCREAMING.]
Jarsh-Jarsh.
Oh, can't wait to see what it is.
[GRUNTING.]
[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY.]
Give me.
Give me, give me, give me! You now hold the key to the ultimate weapon.
[LAUGHING.]
It's a Mirror? Are you kidding me, Jarsh-Jarsh? [GRUNTING.]
[JARSH-JARSH.]
It's in the mirror, Clover.
[GIGGLING.]
Writing, writing, writing Scribbly, scribble, scribble, scribble [SCREAMS.]
[BIRD CRYING.]
Little man knows how to put a pen to paper.
[LAUGHS.]
- Morning.
- Hey, Mort? - Did you finish? - Give us the pitch, Billy Shakespeare.
Okay, I'll paint you the broad strokes.
[IMITATES TRUMPET.]
It's a Musical-Space-Odyssey-Epic Wartime-Drama.
Say what-in the wha-wha, how? What? Hold on! I'm just gettin' to the good part.
Okay, okay.
Picture this.
Planet Kreptal Nine is in danger.
And only one man can save it Bort Bortnoy! But first, Bort must rescue his one true love from the evil grasps of the giant lizard tadpole, Urepses Johanson! Yeah, I can see where this is goin'.
Proceed.
[JULIEN YELLING.]
[GASPS.]
[RUMBLING.]
That cannot be a good sound.
Hey, what's that noise? It's not time! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[EXCLAIMING.]
[LAUGHS.]
I think the worst is over.
The worst is not over! Repeat.
The worst is not over! Okay, Bort.
Whenever you're ready.
Question, do I have to play the main character? 'Cause I've never performed publicly before.
- [GASPS.]
- [FARTING.]
It's okay, friend.
You're gonna shine.
Um, but isn't the point of the play to [STUTTERING.]
create a distraction while we dig a tunnel to escape prison? Does it have to be so complicated? Leave the story to me, babe! I'm the director! Somebody give him a read in.
I closed up the last valve, but we are dead in the water.
We're trapped in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean.
We're gonna run out of air soon.
Really, is that how it works? We're gonna run out I know how air works, Maurice! When we breathe in air, our bodies consume its oxygen and convert it to carbon dioxide.
For example [FARTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
Right.
We could get the emergency oxygen tanks and the underwater gear from the bow of the sub and swim to the surface? Yes.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes.
That's the kind of plan I'm talking about.
Booyah.
[GRUNTS.]
Except for the bow of the sub is entirely underwater.
And it's bound to fill up the main room soon.
There's got to be some mistake.
I specifically ordered a submarine not filled with water.
- You didn't order this sub.
- I know! That's what I'm saying, I ordered a dry one.
[THUDDING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
Maybe if we stare at it longer it will speak to us in its own mirror language.
Yeah.
Gonna go ahead and just say no on that one.
[MUMBLING.]
[GASPS.]
Wait a minute.
Ah! This isn't one of those things where I am the weap Is it? Like I am the lemur in the mirror? And I have to find the power within Is that it, Sage? No.
The Jarsh-Jarsh is a lot of things.
A charlatan, a false prophet, an uncomfortable hugger, but he is not a cliche.
[THUDDING.]
Um, anybody else hear that? Probably just a little of that mean old turbulence again? [CHUCKLES.]
Right? We're at the bottom of the ocean not in the airplane! Yikes, somebody slept through the cart service.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [THUDDING.]
Somebody's out there! Ha-ha! It's the rescue team.
We're saved! See, told you Maurice.
Nothing to worry about.
Oh, hooray.
We're gonna be okay.
[GASPS.]
No! King Julien, wait! - [SCREAMS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Okay, uh, new rule, if someone knocks at the door, ask who it is first! [GRUNTS.]
Tunnel's done, man, but the Mountain Lemurs are sniffin' around out there.
We gotta move fast.
I say we are out of here tonight.
Yeah, what are we waiting for? Let's put this stinkin' play on so we can escape! We can't.
Our dang idiot director's on his third re-write of the day.
Play's not ready.
Sounds like Willie Wordsworth got writer's block forgot the plan and everything how to write and what not, yeah.
[MUMBLING.]
You're finished, Mort.
It's a disaster.
It's your first play.
You've only written novels before this.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
The world is waiting for this play.
The people need to hear your words.
This'll be the biggest, most important thing the universe has ever laid eyes on! [LAUGHING.]
That's it.
I've got it.
[LAUGHING.]
- Mort! - What is it? I am writing.
Er, the tunnel, it's ready.
What tunnel? We have a play to put on.
History is ready to write us into its record books.
We are gonna shake the planet! [LAUGHING.]
Madness.
Utter madness.
Okay, new plan.
We're gonna open up the back hatch like I did earlier when Maurice made me do it.
I've been doing some math.
I figure if we trade off breathing into each other's mouth faces we can swim to the surface, no problem.
There's four of us [PANCHO SCREAMING.]
Um, King J? Hate to interrupt but Pancho just got dragged under water by that nasty shark you let in.
[SCREAMING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Places, everyone.
Romeo.
- [KOTO.]
I love the theater.
- [GASPS.]
Father used to take us every Friday to watch as the neighboring hippos would maul their prey.
True spectacle.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Quiet, you leeks! Show's about to start.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
It was just supposed to be a regular space expedition.
But in the end, they took everything! This is already one of the best things I've seen in my entire life.
Hey, his name was Bort And flying was his sport Bort fast as a kite Never lost a fight Full of strength and might I'm not sure how much time we have left, guys.
I feel like an apology is in order for the shark eating Pancho.
I don't know what you think.
Maurice, go ahead.
What? Now, hold on, gosh dang it.
We've seen how bad things can get.
Well, you bet your tushes, they can get a whole lot worse.
So I say, we are not gonna fight anymore.
We're gonna pull together.
And we're gonna find a way to get out of here.
First - Come on, man! - Are you kidding me, sky Gods? [GRUNTS.]
I have had it.
I cannot take it anymore.
I am going back to the kingdom, and fighting Koto on my own.
- But - You can't stop me, Sage.
It may be a suicide mission, but at least I will take Koto down.
Clover, if you must go, please take the mirror.
I'm not taking the ridiculous mirror, Sage.
Here, it's yours.
No, it's yours.
- No, Sage.
- It was a gift.
For you.
Well, I am re-gifting it to you.
I'm sorry.
I've never been one to accept re-gifts.
Tacky.
Not my thing.
Listen here, you, - I am not having this.
- [GRUNTING.]
- Take the mirror with you.
- Take it, Sage.
[JARSH-JARSH.]
It's in the mirror, Clover.
Will you just get out of my head! In the mirror.
[GRUNTS.]
No.
Jarsh-Jarsh! I have had it! [YELLS.]
- [EXCLAIMS.]
- It's a map! [LAUGHS.]
It was inside the mirror the whole time.
I told you, Clover, it was - in the mirror.
- [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, heard ya, Jarsh-Jarsh.
Follow the map to the ultimate weapon.
Thanks for the tip.
Could have used it, ya know, like, a few hours ago! All right, Sage.
Let's do this.
[MAURICE.]
Do you see the shark, King Julien? Gotta be down there somewhere.
It's gonna get us.
Mo-Mo, don't worry about the shark.
There's only enough oxygen left in here for one of us.
- Then I'm just happy we're togeth - I said there's only enough air for one of us.
Start holding your breath, Maurice.
It's mine.
My air.
Oxygen tanks.
[EXCLAIMS.]
Thank you, sky gods.
Mo-Mo, we're gonna make it.
I can breathe.
Can you hear me? This is Captain Xenon underwater breather.
Do you copy? Yeah, I copy.
Under water breather, yeah, he [JULIEN.]
Okay.
Ooh, look, Mo-Mo! Look at the colors.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- [GRUNTING.]
- [MUMBLES.]
- Your Majesty, swim! I don't speak Shark but if I could, I'd tell you that Maurice's arms, they have much more gratifying natural seasoning than mine.
He'd make great sliders.
[SCREAMS.]
My name is Ned.
Whoa.
I can hear you.
Of course you can.
We can only speak underwater.
Oh, that's cool.
Wait, why didn't you say something earlier, dude? [TED.]
Your Majesty, you made it.
These nice sharks gave us oxygen tanks.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? [LAUGHS.]
King Julien, we don't wanna hurt you.
- We need your help.
- [GASPS.]
[BUTTERFISH.]
I know you miss your son, Bort but his mission was bigger than our home planet, Griegelfleetzes.
That asteroid is headed straight for us.
Soon.
But I've got an asteroid sized hole in my heart without him by our side.
Bort.
Uncle Jifransen, Aunty Toefoot, it's Urepses.
He's back! - [CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [GASPS.]
We need Bort To save the universe! [INDISTINCT SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHS.]
[COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GASPS.]
Bort what's gonna happen Bort Who's in the spaceship [EXCLAIMING.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
Bort he saved the universe He rescued his true love The world is great again Bort! True teatro de la corazon! We could all learn from that Bort.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Encore! Bravo! Encore! Bring out the director.
- Mort! - You shook the planet, Mort.
You really shook it.
Well, come on, we gotta get to work.
Mort, Mort King Julien needs us.
Yeah.
Mort [GASPS.]
What have I done? He'll be out any second.
What? Open the curtain! [GASPS.]
Mort! Onward! To freedom! For my King Julien! Hey, his name was Bort And flying was his sport Bort fast as a kite Never lost a fight Full of strength and might We need Bort To save the universe! Bort, what's gonna happen, Bort Who's in the spaceship Bort he saved the universe He rescued his true love The world is great again, Bort!
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