American Born Chinese (2023) s01e04 Episode Script

1
[CELL PHONE BUZZING, CHIMING]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[BUZZING, CHIMING CONTINUES]
[SIGHS]
- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE VIBRATES]
[PHONE CHIMING]
[POP SONG PLAYING]
- [MRS. WANG GRUNTS]
- Hey.
- [JIN] Anuj is here. Bye.
Uh-huh.
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
[APPLAUDING]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
[APPLAUDING STOPS]
Need a partner?
Hi. [LAUGHS]
That whole TP thing was pretty cool.
- Thank you. [LAUGHS]
- How'd you even do that?
[WEI-CHEN] Come on! Throw me one.
- [WEI-CHEN, IN MANDARIN] Dad.
- [SIGHS]
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to lose your staff.
I don't want to hear it.
You've put us in more danger than ever.
What were you doing
that was so important?
- It was a special task
- For what?
[SIGHS, SPEAKS MANDARIN]
You're grounded for 200 years.
After that,
you'll work at the
Imperial Stables, as I did.
Maybe that'll teach you how to behave.
But I'm not you.
And I never want to be you!
[ECHOES] And I never want to be you!
This was not the first time
Sun Wukong had heard these words.
Thousands of years earlier, long
before he was the father of Wei-Chen,
and even before he was a
king, he was just a monkey.
It was then that he first
felt the sting of rejection.
At, of all places, the Sublime
Banquet of Immortal Peaches,
where they were set to
name the next Great Sage.
This is the story of confidence,
friendship, ambition and loss.
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]
[PERFORMER SINGING] Fruit flower power ♪
He is all the rage ♪
Nothing makes him cower ♪
Not even Great Sage ♪
He's just a monkey
looking for a bash ♪
Tonight he'll get funky ♪
Time to make a splash ♪
Sun Wukong ♪
Sun Wukong ♪
Sun Wukong ♪
Sun Wukong ♪
[PERSON SPEAKS MANDARIN]
- You can enter.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- Enter.
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- Enter.
Hey, doorman! Hurry up!
Please don't get us into trouble.
Don't worry.
I'm not going to embarrass you
at your office party. [CHUCKLES]
This is not an office party.
It's the Sublime Banquet
of Immortal Peaches.
This year, they're giving
the Sacred Peach to Ao Guang.
Who's Ao Guang?
He's Great Sage!
They say he used to be a fish,
but he worked really hard
and eventually became a dragon.
[GUESTS GASPING, MURMURING]
Hey! They're cutting in front of us!
- Those are very important officials.
- I don't care who they are.
- They can't just
- [GASPS]
Here she comes!
Who?
Guanyin. The Goddess of Compassion.
She looks amazing.
Oh, crap.
She's coming right towards us.
- You should say hi.
- What? Are you kidding me?
Just say hi. Go! Go! Go!
Oh [GASPS]
Magnificent and beloved Guanyin
Uh, I
You
You're awesome.
[GUANYIN CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS, SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Good job mumbling to her. [CHUCKLES]
Heaven's a hierarchy
and she's at the top
Let me ask you a question.
Do you know who you are?
Uh
Yeah. I'm Bull Demon.
I have my own place. Not huge, but
I'm not talking about your crappy cave!
I'm asking, do you know who you are?
Your goals. Your dreams!
Uh Well, in the next 2,000 years,
if I work hard
Say it. Say it!
"I want to be the next Great Sage."
[LAUGHS] No, no. That's not what I said!
You've been here forever.
You deserve a big promotion.
[GUEST, GUARD SPEAKING MANDARIN]
If you look inside ♪
There's a special guy ♪
- Stop it. I hate that song!
- [GUARD] Next.
- [SINGING CONTINUES]
- Okay! We get it!
[SUN WUKONG LAUGHS]
- Name?
- Hi. Yes.
Bull Demon. And guest.
Okay, you guys are good.
- [LAUGHS]
- Hold on.
Can't let you in.
You're not wearing shoes.
You can't even see my feet!
I don't need to see
them. I can smell them.
Okay, I get it. You're a
joker. But do you know who I am?
I'm the God of Bare Feet!
[SCOFFS] You're still a monkey.
- Next!
- [GROWLS]
Wukong, don't make a fuss.
No! He can't treat us like that.
We're going in there.
- Let's just go!
- [GRUNTS, SPEAKS MANDARIN]
- Move!
- Magnificent Ji Gong!
I'm so sorry, but you
can't bring that in.
What?
I'm so sorry, sir.
- Who's this guy?
- Ji Gong. A high-ranking official.
Probably the next Great Sage.
I'll just finish it here. Eh?
That'd be great!
I have an idea.
- [BLOWS]
- [BURPS]
[NIU MOWANG] What are you doing?
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [LIQUID SLOSHES]
- It's still full.
What? No, it's not. I just finished it.
Huh. That's strange.
Oh, well. Bottoms up! [LAUGHS]
- [BLOWS]
- [JI GONG LAUGHS]
[ECHOES] More!
This guy can really drink.
Weird. It feels full again.
Oh, well. Bottoms up!
[LAUGHS]
[GURGLING]
[GRUNTS, SHOUTS]
- Sir? Are you okay?
- [SUN WUKONG] Follow me!
[ALL SHOUTING]
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
Wow. Look at this!
The Gods sure know how to party.
[CHUCKLES, SPEAKING MANDARIN]
I'm excited to meet everyone.
They should be excited to meet you.
[CLICKS TONGUE] I don't know
about that. I'm not very important.
Hey, that Ji Gong guy
You said he was the
next Great Sage, right?
Yeah, why?
Well, he got kicked out, right?
Yeah.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Which means
Which means
he doesn't get to eat
the peach? [CHUCKLES]
No! How can you not see it?
It means the position is open!
[SIGHS] There are plenty
of other Gods up for it.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- And Bull Demon!
- [SCOFFS]
This is your chance to
show them who you are!
[SIGHS] No, no, no. I'm
just happy to be here.
Award Winners Only
[SPEAKS MANDARIN]
Nonsense!
[GUESTS CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
Let's find Ao Guang and
tell him your great ideas.
I don't know
[SPEAKS MANDARIN]
Listen to me.
I'm going to be honest.
I believe in you.
But it doesn't matter unless
you believe in yourself.
So let's go find this fish cake!
[GRUNTS]
Come.
[PERFORMERS GRUNT]
Welcome to the Sublime Banquet!
The first award of the
night is "Most Feared God"!
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
You said I could talk this time!
You can. Just not now.
This is my palace!
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [LAUGHING]
[SPEAKS IN MANDARIN, LAUGHS]
- Hmm?
- Hello.
- Mmm? [LAUGHS]
- [GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Excuse me. Don't I know you?
Aren't you
Beautiful Face of
Incomprehensible Perfection?
No. I'm Princess Jade Face.
Ah. [CLICKS TONGUE] Yes, of course!
This is my friend.
Princess Iron Fan.
Nice to meet you.
Any chance you ladies know
where The Dragon King is?
We need to talk to him.
Oh? [SPEAKS MANDARIN]
- Is that so?
- Yes.
My buddy here is going
to be the next Great Sage.
[SIGHS] No, no. He's kidding.
Wow! Cool!
Hey, why don't you tell
them about your idea?
For a journey to the West!
[SCOFFS] They don't
want to hear about that.
I guess you don't want to talk to us.
Okay. Bye.
Wait!
Are you interested in enlightenment?
Hmm. Maybe. Let's find out.
[SIGHS] Well, rumor has it, in India,
there are many Sutras.
To unlock them, you need the Iron Staff.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
And these Sutras are written on Scrolls?
Yes. But their wisdom can
be infused in anything!
A Scroll, a cloud, a rock. Even a crab.
[GASPS] That's very interesting.
I think so too. [CHUCKLES]
[BITES]
Told you my boy was smart. [CHUCKLES]
So a Sutra
is a crab?
[SPEAKER FEEDBACK]
Thank you to all the Gods who voted!
But like I say every year,
please stop giving me this award.
I'm begging you.
Wait, is that The Dragon King?
You didn't tell me he was so handsome!
It's go time!
Wait, she was just telling me
No time for that.
Hurry up!
Private area.
Get your head in the
game! That was our chance!
Bull Demon. Maybe I can help.
[PRINCESS JADE FACE GASPS]
[WIND HOWLING]
[GUESTS SHOUTING]
- [GASPS] Thank you.
- [PRINCESS IRON FAN] No problem.
Let's go!
Just don't forget who helped you!
[GUESTS SHOUTING]
[DOOR SLAMS]
Hmm? What is this?
You're so rude!
You should've let her finish.
And you should focus
on finding this fish.
- [AO GUANG SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [ASSISTANT SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[AO GUANG] Hurry up!
I need water right now!
- I hear a fish.
- [SPEAKS MANDARIN]
Be gentle! It hurts!
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS, INHALES]
[SIGHS]
Slowly, slowly.
[INHALES, GRUNTS] Let me see your nails.
Why so sharp?
I'm starting to think
you do it on purpose.
- I wouldn't dare, Master Ao Guang.
- Ao Guang?
How dare you call me by my name?
In case it's not obvious, I'm a dragon.
Of course. It's very obvious.
We can tell by your breath.
What's that?
Nothing.
"Nothing."
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
Why am I not being moistened yet?
I'm turning into a wafer over here!
Right away, sir.
Hurry up!
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SIGHS] Useless.
[SIGHS]
[SNORING]
[NIU MOWANG] What are you doing?
[SNORING]
Let's wake him up. We've
got business to take care of.
He's probably tired from
all his important duties.
[SNORING CONTINUES]
"Important duties"? Yeah, right.
Look.
Ruyi Jingu Bang
[SNORING CONTINUES]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Don't touch that!
- You're such a buzzkill.
- [SIGHS]
Well, I'm going to enjoy the party.
Let me know when our
fish friend wakes up.
Wait!
[SHOUTS, SPEAKS IN MANDARIN]
[SHOUTS] Who are you?
[GASPS]
Most beneficent Dragon King.
[SIGHS] Please forgive me
- Who the hell are you?
- [GASPS]
I am Bull Demon. I work in
the Offerings Department
Luli! Bingwen!
- I need to be moistened now!
- Uh
[STAMMERS] Great Sage.
I can moisten you if you'd like.
That's a toilet!
You idiot!
- I'm sorry, I didn't know!
- Where the hell have you two been?
- How did you get in here?
- I just wanted a word with Great Sage.
A word? If you have a complaint,
take it up with the
Sufferings Department.
It's not a complaint.
I just want to ask The Dragon King
to hear my humble proposal.
Far off in India are several Sutras
Ah. Nice.
[INHALES] Feels good.
If we commissioned a pilgrimage,
a journey to the West
[SIGHS] Don't forget
my back. And my bottom.
Uh
Perhaps we could share these
teachings with the world.
[SNORING]
Is he snoring?
Yes, I think you put him to sleep.
- Congratulations.
- [CHUCKLES]
I'm more than just a great beard.
I'm also the God of War!
It is a fantastic beard though.
Hey! Geez. What took you so long?
There's my guy!
- How'd it go?
- Not great.
What happened?
They told me I didn't belong here.
They said that?
They're right though.
I don't belong here.
I'll take care of this.
- Follow me!
- Huh?
[AO GUANG SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
- [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[AO GUANG SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[BINGWEN SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SIGHS]
- Wukong, what are you doing?
- Don't worry. I'll put it back.
Depending on how well it works.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUESTS CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
[GUESTS GASPING, CHEERING]
All right. Get off.
- [GUESTS JEER]
- [LAUGHS]
Hello, everybody! [LAUGHS]
I'd like to say something to my wife.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
I never loved you!
I'm in love with your sister.
- [GASPS]
- [GUESTS MURMURING]
[GASPS, CRIES]
What?
Thank you all! [LAUGHS] Enjoy the show!
[SPEAKER FEEDBACK]
Okay. You're up.
What do you want me to do out there?
What do I want you to do? What
you should've done a long time ago.
I want you to show them who you are.
It's showtime.
What is this?
This is Jingu Bang. The Iron Staff!
You are the next Great Sage.
Go. Go!
[GROANS]
[GUESTS MURMURING]
How does he have Jingu Bang too?
[MURMURING STOPS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
If you look inside ♪
- There's a special guy ♪
- Who the hell is that?
He's very strong ♪
He's full of good ideas ♪
I'm a shining star ♪
I'm Bull Demon ♪
[LAUGHING]
[SPEAKER FEEDBACK]
Great! Thanks!
Get off. [LAUGHS]
Who's ready for the big finale?
I know you've all been waiting for it!
The Celestial Achievement
Award of Eternity!
[GUESTS CHEERING]
And now, Gods and Goddesses,
Are! You! Ready!
[CHEERING]
Are you ready?
Let's welcome
Great Sage, Ao Guang!
[CHUCKLES]
Ah.
Hi-yah.
[GUESTS GASP]
What happened to Jingu Bang?
[SUN WUKONG] Thank you,
sweetie. I'll take it from here.
Round of applause for Queen Mother!
[LAUGHS]
Don't worry, handsome.
I'll get to you in a second.
[PANTS]
Wonderful party tonight, huh?
I know what you're thinking.
"Why is there a monkey on stage?"
And you're right. I shouldn't be here.
My friend, Bull Demon, brought me.
He was very excited to meet you all.
Personally, I wasn't so sure.
To be honest,
I'm pretty disappointed.
[GUESTS GASPING, MURMURING]
[SUN WUKONG] Don't get me
wrong. The party's great.
But it's also a big lie.
Just a bunch of phonies
giving each other awards.
And the biggest award of
all? This beauty right here.
10,000 years of growing,
just to please one nasty old fish.
- [GUESTS MURMURING]
- [GASPS]
Oh, come on!
We all know he's a fish.
He doesn't even look like a dragon!
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Listen, I like fish.
But this guy is nothing special.
In fact, the truth is none of you are.
That's why you tell people
like us we don't belong.
To make yourselves feel special!
But tonight that ends.
Tonight we tear it all down!
[SHOUTS]
[GUESTS GASP]
[BOTH SCREAM]
[GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Nice, right?
- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHING]
I've waited 10,000 years for that.
What?
Finally,
someone is speaking the truth.
You're joking, right?
[CLICKS TONGUE] I'm serious.
In fact, to prove how serious I am,
I just might make you
the next Great Sage!
[GUESTS MURMURING]
Now I know you're joking.
The truth is I hate this place.
And so do you.
Which makes you the perfect person
to succeed me.
What if I don't want the job?
Exactly!
- You see what I'm saying?
- No.
What's your name, Monkey?
Don't call me Monkey. It's Sun Wukong!
Oh, sensitive.
It's okay. It's okay.
Once you're Great Sage,
they'll call you whatever you want!
Introducing Sun Wukong!
[CHEERS] Ladies and Gentlemen!
It's my pleasure to present to you
the next Great Sage.
Equal to Heaven!
Great Sage Equal to Heaven!
Sun Wukong!
[GUESTS CHEERING]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[GUESTS CHANTING IN MANDARIN]
[CHANTING ENDS]
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[SIGHS]
Quite a night.
Yeah.
Where's your friend?
I lost him.
You should come by Flame Mountain.
I'll show you around.
[CHUCKLES] Maybe I'll do that someday.
- Iron Fan, let's go.
- Oh?
I want noodles.
See you around.
There's my guy. Where have you been?
Waiting for you. For a while.
Can you believe this night?
[CHUCKLES] Not really.
I was unsure at first,
but then I realized,
we did it.
- What are you talking about?
- I got in.
And now that I'm in, I
can get you in. [CHUCKLES]
I don't think that's how it works.
Sure, it is! I'm Great Sage.
I can do anything I want.
How do you not get this?
You know, I wasn't going
to bring you tonight.
Because you always embarrass me.
But I brought you anyway.
Because you're my best friend.
I don't embarrass you.
I push you. Because I believe in you.
No, you push me because
you want me to be like you.
Because you're scared.
And I want you to be confident. Like me.
Confident? You're the most
insecure person I know.
Maybe you're just jealous.
Maybe you're just selfish.
If you had listened to me
I did listen to you!
It didn't work.
And I looked like a fool.
I should've just been myself!
Yourself?
They didn't even want to let us in!
They didn't want to let you in.
Oh, yeah? Then who got us
in? Who got you to Ao Guang?
But you couldn't seal the deal!
They don't give awards to the nice guy.
If you want something, you just take it!
I see that now.
You want to know the truth?
You don't have what it
takes to be Great Sage!
You asked me before
if I know who I am.
Maybe I don't.
But I know who I'm not.
I'm not you.
And I never want to be you!
Wait.
You should go back.
Really? Are you sure?
You have your own path.
And you should follow it.
There's someone who
might be able to help you.
But please, son. Be careful.
Thank you, Dad!
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
Wei-Chen?
- Where have you been?
- Sorry. My father took me home.
Okay. I I was
worried about you, dude.
It's okay. I'm okay.
I just only missed one day
and I'm back. I got a new plan.
No. You didn't miss one day,
you've been gone for a month.
- What?
- [GARRETT] Jin!
Let's go! Get on the bus.