And Just Like That... (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Yes, I'd like to quickly confirm a colonoscopy for Harry Goldenblatt for Friday at 10.
Sorry, I, I, I feel like I shouted that.
- Here you go.
Two nonfat lattes.
- Yes, thank you.
I know, but if we want to submit to Sundance, we gotta get moving.
Two nonfat lattes, please.
Thank you.
- Mommy? - Yes, baby.
Je suis désolée, mère.
Puis-je avoir un croissant? Uh, Gabby just ordered a croissant in French.
I need to let her have it, right? One croissant, please.
- I got you a coffee! - I got you a coffee! Hi! - Freshly brewed.
- Oh.
Look, I know we only have a minute, but Charlotte has a quick update on the field trip.
Good news on the Botanic Gardens.
I was able to book the botany team that was profiled in "New York Magazine.
" - I love that.
- Wow! - That is so cool.
- Or I could call my friend who runs this state-of-the-art animal shelter on City Island.
After the tour, the kids play with the animals.
- Okay, um - That'll be fun! I'm an animal lover, too, but I did just spend three weeks chasing down these botanists, and they're very hard to reach.
- One of whom is deaf, incidentally.
- Of course, I get it.
It was just a backup idea.
I hadn't heard from you on this all week, so I thought you dropped the ball.
Oh Charlotte's never dropped a ball in her life.
Check your spam, Deirdre.
The whole chain is there.
I think we should just lock down the botanists and save the animal shelter for another date.
Questions? No questions.
I'm late.
Have a great day.
Bye! How do you do that? I just pretend I'm talking to my documentary crew.
Um, you're the only one I'd hire back, by the way.
You're also the only one invited to Herbert's birthday dinner, - so, please, keep it on the QT.
- On the 19th? Harry and I are so excited, and we can't wait to invite you over soon to hang out with our little group of friends.
How about Thursday? I just had something fall off my calendar.
Thursday as in the day after the day after tomorrow? Wow, that's short notice.
What was I thinking? - You know what? - What? Thursday's fine.
Let's do it.
- How-how does 7 sound? - That's perfect.
- Okay! - Okay, I'll see you Thursday.
Okay! - Oh, and, Charlotte? - Uh-huh? - Nothing fancy.
It's just us.
- Sure.
Hi Yes.
Um, I just quickly need to cancel a colonoscopy appointment for Harry Goldenblatt at 10 AM Friday.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Whoa, Mom, you reek of weed.
- After all the shit you give me.
- No, I don't.
I just haven't showered yet.
Miranda, c'mon, we're all grown-ups.
We know pot when we smell it.
Yeah, you don't have to hide it.
Especially now that it's legal.
Carrie took Charlotte and me to a comedy concert last night, and there were a lot of alternative types getting high all around us.
That's all.
Alternative types? Alternative to what? I'm not caffeinated enough for this conversation.
Hey, hey! Look who it is! Caroline.
Good morning, Mr.
Kouimelis.
Long time, no see.
Welcome back.
- Dark, no sugar, right? - Exactly.
- How've you been? - A-okay.
- How you been? - I'm good.
You got married.
You left the neighborhood, right? Huh.
You like married life? Well um he died recently.
Oh no.
Poor Caroline.
He had a heart attack, unexpected.
The coffee is free.
And here - Take a roll.
- Aw thank you.
I thought he would be there.
I mean, I knew he couldn't be, but when I walked in the door, I was thinking about something else, and just for a second, I forgot.
- I'm selling our apartment.
- Really? - Are you sure? - Mm-hm.
Because what do they say? You should never make a major decision when you're Halt.
Hungry, angry Lonely or tired.
Right.
Halt.
Nope, nope, nope.
I am all action.
I gave the Peloton to one of the doormen, I contacted a realtor, so Whew! Next topic.
- Okay, well - Okay.
I am planning a last-minute dinner party for LTW and her husband, and I really want you both to be there but only if you're feeling up to seeing people, Carrie.
I see people all day long.
I live in a city.
- Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
I'm just kidding.
- I'm kidding.
Of course, I'll be there.
- Thank you.
- Miranda? - Well, I will be there, unless it's tomorrow night because I'm having dinner with my law professor.
Wow, that's, that's quite a quite the turnaround, I know, right? I killed it in class today, arguing a point about motherhood and inequality in the workplace, and she wants to talk about it more over dinner.
Well, that must have been some argument if you got a dinner date out of it.
Hm, I'm gonna order another one of th Should we just get a bottle? No, no bottle.
- We're, we're fine like this.
- Okay.
Seema.
That's such a pretty name.
- It means "boundary" in Hindi.
- Oh.
Which is hilarious because I have none.
I need to know more about this wallpaper.
It's stunning.
- Oh - Such rich, interesting colors.
Yes, well, my, um, my husband wasn't a great fan of beige.
It's gorgeous.
It's all gotta go.
People need to be able to picture themselves living here, and it's hard to do that with your interesting brutalist coffee table screaming, "I'm not you.
" - It's gotta go.
- Well, do we really We really have to do, like all of it? Don't we just need to find a buyer with vision? Buyers aren't that complex, Mrs.
Preston.
- They're like dogs with money.
- Oh.
- Walk with me.
- Oh, what else would I do? Lovely.
It's all gotta go.
I know you've suffered a loss, Mrs.
Preston.
- Carrie.
- Carrie.
And I can do this at whatever pace you're comfortable.
Fast, slow, tomorrow, - yesterday - How's the day before yesterday? And you won't have to lift a finger.
My movers are brilliant.
They're in and out like ninjas.
They move Picassos, so your things are gonna be fine.
Uh, no offense to your things.
And what's in here? Okay this closet Seema, wait a second.
I have something important to say.
No one touches the shoes.
I totally get it.
I've named all my purses.
- Meet Lorraine.
- Oh, how do you do? This spa bathroom? Insane.
This may be the first apartment I sell with just a photo of the bathroom.
Oh, wow.
You know what could pull this whole area into focus? A Peloton.
- What? - Oh, it's, um it's a long story.
I don't know, maybe for another time.
I'm actually supposed to be in Midtown in 20 minutes.
Let's go.
I've got enough to talk to the stagers about.
I'll drop you off.
My driver's right downstairs.
Ooh! Okay - Do you smoke? - Well, not when anyone can see me.
- You? - Used to.
- Another life.
- Mm-hm.
- Got a cigarette? - Are you sure? - I've quit 14 times.
- Just one.
It's been a rough couple weeks.
Here.
Thank you.
47th between 5th and 6th, Rocco.
- The podcast socials suck.
- Don't mince words, Chloe.
I won't.
Suck, stink, shit the bed.
You all need to post like your life depends on it.
Che's the only one consistently pushing.
Yeah, 'cause my life depends on it.
- And you, Carrie.
- Me? You didn't have a lot of followers to begin with, but you haven't posted in three weeks.
Three weeks.
This is death on social media.
Your Instagram is pretty much a corpse.
Chloe, that's enough, Chloe.
She gets it.
Oh, fuck me, fuck! I'm so, so sorry.
Chloe, like, read the room.
We don't need to make it a thing.
I mean, you're being so insensitive, dude.
- It's fine.
- Jackie, don't make this about us.
It was fun while it lasted.
Carrie, girl I'm sorry for your loss.
Get your socials up.
See you Friday.
You know what? What is happening? What kind of person ghosts somebody they're gonna see again the next day? I mean, who does that? Why don't you wash your bath towels more than once a year? Fucking kindergartener.
I wash my bath towels, all right! Dude, you are so insensitive, and not just to me.
What you just said to Carrie - Young love.
- Not so young.
Not so love.
Oh, man.
If that was me Chloe was goin' off on, I would've totally played the death card just to shut her down.
Oh, I'm saving it for when she tells me I have to go back on Twitter.
Don't I have a colonoscopy the next day? Not anymore, you don't.
This dinner is too important.
Right now, Lisa and I are mom friends, but I want us to be real friends.
And they are an impressive couple.
- We are gonna have to bring it.
- Okay.
I invited Carrie for fashion, Miranda for politics, Stanford and Anthony gay, the Shapiros, the Downeys.
- Bringin' out the big guns.
- Mm-hm.
And I've got room for one more couple.
- How about the Tates? - Hmm.
They're sweet, but they're just kind of vanilla.
Oh no.
What? Everyone I've invited is vanilla.
The Wexleys can't be the only Black couple at the dinner.
They're gonna think we don't have any Black friends.
Why don't you just ask the Jenkins in 4C? The Jenkins! Yes, yes, I love the Jenkins, yes! - We just had that great brunch.
- Two years ago.
But we lost a year to COVID.
I'm gonna text her right now.
- Oh, Charlotte, hi.
- Hello, Shelly.
- What a beautiful sweater.
- Thank you.
I just wanted to check in, and make sure that you had received the texts I sent earlier.
I did All four of them.
Oh, I thought I sent two.
You know, I've gotta get my phone checked.
It just goes rogue sometimes.
So will you be able to join us for dinner? Oh, well, as I said in my text, - we would love to join - Great! Terrific! But we already have a dinner Thursday.
Oh, right, but you know what I was thinking? Maybe you and David could pop in before your dinner for drinks.
You know, just pop in, say hi.
We'll do it another time.
Oh, but we always say we'll do it another time.
Let's just get her done.
I'll tell you what, you text me when you know that you definitely can't come, and in the meantime, that is just the most lovely sweater.
- Where'd you get it? - J.
Crew.
Well, it is just gorgeous.
Have a great rest of your day.
Are you still in touch with that artist you dated? Who do you mean? The performance artist with the big, juicy ass? - God no, I forgot about him.
- I didn't.
Like two canned hams.
No, I'm talking about that painter.
Oh, you mean the hot Black guy.
Anthony, he is more than just his race.
He is a person and, yes, that is who I was referring to.
I was thinking of inviting him to the Wexley dinner party.
LTW has a collection of African-American artists.
Outta luck, princess.
Stanford lit my old address book on fire one night.
You want me to ask Juan, one of my delivery guys? He's Colombian, but ethnically ambiguous.
- Goodbye, Anthony.
- Goodbye! - Deirdre Hi! - Oh, hi! - I was just gonna text you.
- Oh! By any chance, are you and Geoff free for dinner tomorrow night? Who's Geoff? - Your husband? - Oh.
It's pronounced "Joff.
" - Oh.
- So last minute, but yes.
Lovely.
I'll call Geoff to make sure.
Charlotte, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
We can't come tomorrow night.
My mother-in-law invited us to the symphony, and Herbert didn't tell me till this morning because as he said, he didn't wanna hear me bitch about it all week, and he's not wrong.
Of course, I get it.
Mother-in-law drama.
Our dinner will happen when it happens.
No rush at all.
Thank you for understanding.
- We'll talk later.
- Okay! Okay, Geoff and I are definitely in for tomorrow night.
Harry has a colonoscopy on Friday morning, and I completely forgot.
See? I'm not crazy.
You do drop balls every now and then.
You got me.
Apologies to, to Geoff.
Uh, sir, I'm not tryin' to be unreasonable, but that guy who just left with the doggy bag came in after us.
- Am I right about that? - Yeah, I think so.
With the straw hat? Um, it's Nya Wallace.
7:30, party of two.
Would you check again? I'm sorry, again.
We have no record of your reservation in the system.
But, uh, I do have a record of the reservation right here.
Mm-hm, yeah, you've shown me that already three times, but see, it's not in my system.
Okay, well, then let's just ignore the evidence, and say I don't have a reservation.
I mean, it's possible.
I've made mistakes in my life uh, most recently comin' into this restaurant.
What are we gon' do about it, though? You know, there are a couple of cute places pretty near here.
Miranda, I'm 37 minutes into this trial.
- I am not leaving without a win.
- Got it.
Yeah.
One second.
Found you.
You did make a 7:30 reservation - Thank you.
- at our San Francisco location.
Should I call 'em and tell 'em we're gonna be a little bit late? - I'll get to you.
- Okay, thank you.
Thank you.
Sateesh, party of two.
I am so sorry.
That was totally not me.
No, that is so, usually, exactly me.
I'm just so hopped up on all these, um, fertility drugs.
Yeah, it's messin' with my everything.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I know how hard that can be.
Wait, you've been through this? Water for you ladies.
Thanks.
You have kids? No and yes.
No to IVF.
Yes, I have a 17-year-old son named Brady.
I have a, a good friend who went through hell with IVF.
- That's how I know.
- Yeah, well, this is my second trip to hell.
My, uh, first one didn't take which, uh is privileged information between professor and student, and, as a reminder, I do have the power to fail you.
Oh, not, not unethical at all.
Um and so, this is the part you tell me where it'll all be worth it.
Counselor, I think you're leading the witness.
Miranda Hobbes, are you about to tell me that motherhood isn't worth it? Um it depends on the day.
Like today, when my son called me a bitch because I sent his girlfriend home, and forced him to do his homework.
- 100% not worth it.
- No.
No, it's not worth it.
No.
Haven't heard that side of the argument.
Menu for you.
- But if having a baby is - And you.
Is really what you want Thank you.
It will be way more than 100% worth it.
Great, but I don't need a hard sell, right? I'm gettin' that from society, from my friends, my family, uh, my house cleaner.
- You need a new house cleaner.
- Yeah.
Okay, here's the thing.
I don't know why I'm tellin' you this, probably the hormones but, um when my last round of IVF didn't go through um I felt a huge wave of relief.
And listen, my husband and I, we love our life.
I mean, nobody's life is perfect, but, my life is really fuckin' close, right? But then, I I'm also afraid that if I don't have a child, I'm gonna regret it one day.
You know, the thing about regret is that having a child doesn't take it away.
Thank you.
There are always gonna be these roads not taken, right? I mean, I There was a woman in my class at Harvard.
Not a Rhodes Scholar.
She never married.
She never had kids.
She's a federal judge now.
- Who goes home to an empty house.
- God! There are so many nights when I would love to be a judge, and go home to an empty house.
Hmm.
And then, I see my son and I'm glad.
And then, I see his dirty underwear on my kitchen floor - No.
- and I'm mad.
Yeah, I could see that.
- So you can't have it all? - No you can.
It's just really fuckin' hard.
Is that your closing argument? Your honor if this round of IVF works you're gonna love motherhood every second.
Why don't we get another round of drinks? - Why don't we? - Yeah.
Mmm, I'm not very open to this open house.
"Mad Max" meets "Dances With Wolves.
" I think I used to date the guy who lives here.
- Really? - Well, generally speaking, I feel like back in the '90s, we all dated the 50-year-old guy who lives here.
I'm still dating them.
By the way, feel free to introduce me to any available men that you know with a good heart.
Even if they're fixer-uppers.
I can flip 'em.
Oh, I bet you can.
So, the motorcycle inside is for what? Those quick trips to the bathroom? See, this is why you don't leave your furniture in your place for the open house.
- All right.
- Okay.
I'm gonna say goodbye to the realtor.
Poor thing.
- Great place, huh? - Oh! Oh, God.
I'm considering making an offer.
Recently divorced, and I'm movin' back downtown! You look like a downtown lady.
- You wanna check out the bedroom? - Ooh, oh - Let's go.
We have to eat.
- Oh, we have to eat.
Ooh, I was about to flee on the motorcycle.
- Who was that? - My worst nightmare.
You think that guy was your worst nightmare? - Check out this honey bun.
- Mm! Profile says he's looking for fun.
He should be looking for a shirt.
Wait, please.
There's so many more gems.
How many dating apps are you on? How much time have you got? I started back in the day with OkCupid - Uh-huh.
- which was not okay.
It was like are you fucking with me, Cupid? Then, I moved to Tinder where I met the guy who cried after sex.
Oh, so he was too Tinder.
I just want someone to create a dating site that's called, "Here's the man you've been searching for, Seema.
" And you're never married? Not divorced? No, happily not divorced.
Well, I think it's great that you're still putting yourself out there.
Yes.
Well, I am.
Ooh, do you wanna split the cacio e pepe? - Mm-hm.
- Mm.
Lisa and Herbert run in an eclectic, diverse crowd.
- Hmm.
- But right now, everyone is talking about Black literature.
You read the article I sent you, right? - Yep.
- So name a few modern Black authors that every person is reading.
- Sadie Smith.
- Zadie with a Z.
Can't I just say I love Michelle Obama's book? I feel like you are not taking this seriously.
Charlotte, I've been talkin' my whole life.
Think I can handle a little dinner chit-chat.
- Do I need it? - No.
Harry! We lucked out when LTW canceled the other night, but that was our wake-up call.
It is unacceptable that we do not have a more diverse friendship circle, so, tonight, bring your "A" game.
- Oh God, you're sweating already.
- Can't imagine why.
- Hi! - Come on in! I know you said not to bring any gifts, but we had to bring Herbert a little something.
- Aww.
- It's chocolate.
It's really good with port, if he drinks.
Oh, he drinks.
He has to.
He's married to this.
Oh.
Uh, I have to go apologize to the chef for something my mother-in-law just said about the appetizers.
You all go mingle.
- Wow! - Yes, Looks like we're the eclectic and diverse.
Harry, Charlotte.
- Hey! Happy birthday, big guy.
- Happy birthday! Please, come join us.
Oh, look.
It's Gwen, Leo's mom.
Hi, Gwen! Hi! I haven't seen you since Leo transferred to Dalton.
I'm not Gwen.
But I know who you're talking about.
This is Lisa's friend, Shawna.
Anybody read the new Zadie Smith book? Hey, you know that part in "The Wizard of Oz" where the movie goes from sepia to color? - Yeah.
- I'm experiencing that in reverse.
What do you mean? My apartment is totally beige, everywhere.
There's no sign of me.
Sometimes, I look around this house and there's no sign of me either.
God, it's surreal.
It's like we never lived here.
Our life is just gone.
I'm so sorry for you, Carrie.
I know everyone is.
Maybe that's why I'm drawn to Seema, my realtor, you know? When I'm with her, I can just, um you know, pretend like none of the terrible stuff has happened.
Well, she didn't know Big.
Exactly.
It's lunch and some laughs, which is kinda nice.
- Should I be threatened? - Nah, it's probably more real estate than real.
Oh, hell no.
What? The Peloton is back.
Okay, I gotta get Big and go.
You don't belong here anymore.
Ah.
Thank you, everybody.
And what is it you do, Charlotte? Oh, um, I-I'm a full-time mom, and I'm active on the Events Committee at our daughter's school, and that is how Lisa and I met.
Lisa and Charlotte are the Thelma and Louise of that parent group, except without the crime spree and the double suicide.
Charlotte is just being modest.
She's not just a stellar mom, and killing it at school, she's also on the board at The Met.
So, you know art? Yes, yes.
It's my passion.
I used to run an art gallery a long time ago.
My favorite Art is Art Smith our financial adviser.
He told me that my daughter-in-law there spent more money on these paintings than my husband, God rest his soul, and I spent on our first house.
All due respect, Mother, real estate isn't as costly in the Carolinas.
I don't know about Carolina real estate, but, in terms of art, I can't think of a better investment - than what Lisa has selected here.
- Really? The Gordon Parks photographs are amazing, and the one by Carrie Mae Weems.
The collection includes Deborah Roberts, and, oh, Barkley Hendricks, and the early work by Derrick Adams, which is like owning early sheet music by Beethoven.
- Oh.
- And then, my personal favorite is the Mickalene Thomas in there.
She did the very first portrait of First Lady Michelle Obama.
I loved her book! So, I don't think that you and Mr.
Art Smith have anything to worry about.
With the keen eye of Lisa, the family is in very good hands.
Yes, we are.
How about some birthday cake, and, uh, - my favorite port in the den? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Shall we? Oh, thank you, thank you, Thelma! Unless you wanna be Louise.
Oh, no, I am definitely Thelma.
Just till I can figure out where you really want to be.
Ah.
- You're smoking? - Stanford's in Japan? Go, daddy, go That's Ashley, the 17-year-old Long Island TikTok star he manages.
She's huge in Asia.
She asked him to go on tour with her.
I do not get her, but then, I'm old, gay - and not Japanese.
- Well, fine, good, sayonara, but why the dramatic note? "By the time you read this, I'll be in Tokyo.
" I mean, wh-wh-who is he? The lost Brontë sister? He said he couldn't bring himself to tell you he was leaving face-to-face after Big died.
Right, and a, a note is so much more - compassionate.
- Oh, you know Stanny.
He hates to disappoint people in person.
Still, you know, if it If something good is happening in one of my friends' lives, and I'm, I'm assuming he considers this good I'd wanna know about it.
You know, no, no matter what is going on in mine.
Good news or bad, I'd wanna know.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
I got a letter, too.
- He wants a divorce.
- Oh.
I don't get it.
We were so happy.
We had a great time at your dinner.
- We loved everyone.
- Oh, and everyone loved you.
Thank you so much for having my back with Eunice.
You're like the mother-in-law whisperer.
Such a good friend.
Well, I hope so.
I have a confession to make.
I was really panicked having you and Herbert over for dinner because I realized you would be the only Black couple there.
Hmm that's really crazy because I was worried that you and Harry would be nervous being the only white people at my dinner party.
- Did we seem nervous? - He sweat through his suit.
That's on me.
I pushed him so hard.
I just I want to do everything right.
- Good luck.
- Seriously, I was so desperate this week I invited Deirdre.
Okay, now you're doin' the wrong thing.
How'd you get out of that? I pretended to drop a ball.
- Took one for the team.
- Mm-hm.
Aww.
Hello? Safe to come in? Is the open house closed? - Come on in.
Coast is clear.
- I got us some sushi.
So tell me, uh, how did it go at the "Beige-a-palooza"? A lot of interest.
One definite, two potential offers.
I might show it again next week just to drive the interest up even more.
All right, so, um, so your magical moving worked, I guess.
Always does.
Oh, there was a little mishap.
I was moving a photo into a drawer and the glass broke.
- Which photo? - The one on your bedside table.
I must've hit it on the corner, and it just shattered.
- Why were you even touching it? - Well, it was a personal item, and you were supposed to tuck it away.
- It is a personal item.
- No, I understand.
- But it's only that - You said they move Picassos, that nothing would get broken.
And, unfortunately, this was my bad, not theirs, but it can be fixed.
Only the glass is broken, the photo's intact, so I'll just replace the glass.
You can't just replace the glass.
That picture was on his side of the bed.
He touched that glass all the time.
You the, the glass is not replaceable.
Well I'm sorry.
Well, you don't seem very sorry.
You're sitting there, you know, pretty casually.
You know, "Oh, it just We'll just replace the glass.
You know, it's not No big deal.
No worries.
" No worries? He was the, the love of my life.
Actually I'm not like that at all.
I Well, that's, that's how it seems to me.
He's gone, it's broken, and no one can fix it.
I am very sorry, I am.
I assure you, I had no intention of being insensitive to your situation.
Sometimes people aren't aware of how insensitive they may seem and, I guess, today that could apply to me.
Or to you at the restaurant the other day.
Me? How was I insensitive? When we were talking about me dating, you said something like Well, no, it wasn't "something like.
" I remember exactly what it was.
You said "Well, it's great you're still putting yourself out there.
" "Well, it's great you're still putting yourself out there.
"Good for you, Seema, trying to find yourself a man to marry after all those years of no luck.
" No, no, that's not the way I meant it.
You know, I'm sure, but that's how I heard it.
If I'm being really honest maybe you have a point, Carrie.
Maybe there's a little part of me that doesn't feel sorry for you 'cause at least you found the love of your life and you had him for many wonderful years, and in my eyes, that is something worth still putting yourself out there for.
I agree.
Would you like some yellowtail? Is it from the place on Madison? And just like that we began our real friendship.