Angry Boys (2011) s01e04 Episode Script

Come on.
Fuck! Fuckin' Nathan, you fag! You've used up all the download space, you dickhead! Now the computer's slow as fuck! Daniel, it's not your computer, it's the family's and he can't hear you.
And he's using it to download porn anyway! I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of him and his fuckin' porn.
He's addicted to it.
It's like he does these little things, right, he makes these little secret files where he keeps his porn stash and he thinks I can't find them.
Like, look at this.
Skate stats - porn.
See? Nathan's schoolwork - porn.
Deaf information - porn.
And he wanks, like, four times a day, minimum.
Seriously.
Like, something's got to be done about it.
Like, I reckon if you're gonna wank, do it one or two times a week, max.
You know? Don't let it rule your life.
Keep it clean, do it in the shower.
Oh! Disgusting! Fuck! Nathan! The thing with me and Hunter is we're competitive.
We're competitive, but we balance each other out in that he's good at shit, I'm good at shit, so we're sort of We we we do heaps of good shit together, I reckon.
I am a little bit not as smart as you.
I'm a little bit dumber than you.
But with your brain and my brain together, we'd be the ultimate dude.
Remember at the servo when I went to the servo and filled up This is fuckin' years ago, and I thought there was so I got pissed off at that bloke at the servo 'cause I thought he was trying to rip me off.
And I got the Mucca Mad Boy mates to beat the fuckin' shit out of him, 'cause I thought he was trying to rip me off.
You were gonna, too.
I had three 20-cent coins.
I was like, 'It's a dollar.
Add it up.
' I thought chicks didn't fart, too.
When we were in year 10, I was like, I thought, biologically, chicks could not fart and we had that massive fight.
We had a fucking punch-up about that.
Yeah.
I believe it now 'cause Kareena farts.
Have you heard Kareena fart? Yeah, she farts heaps.
Phew! Yeah, huge, man, she lets it rip.
So have you got surfing classes today? Nah, I did two yesterday.
Oh, knock yourself out, babe.
Being married to someone like, you know, surfing legend Blake Oakfield has definitely got its challenges.
Incredibly vague and unorganised.
It's like you've got to micromanage him.
What's this mean? Yeah, what's it mean? Get groceries.
Yeah, don't forget.
What are you two doing today, anyway? Initiations.
What, for the gang? Yeah.
That sounds like a really productive way for two 38-year-old men to spend their day.
Ah, yeah, it is.
Don't work too hard, will you? Get the Frosty Fruits! Bye.
The brakes, Jamie, the brakes.
I need your help.
Just rewind it.
Oh! Rewind.
Hey, the patient has arrived, everybody.
Oh, Ja Rule! Hey, here he is.
Ja Rule! Aw, what happened to him? Hey.
Oh, the vet did it.
What happened to you, Ja Rule? He's got a skin condition from the fleas.
You look like a dickhead.
He kept licking around his testicles, so with that on he can't reach.
He's licking around his nuts? Can't lick your nuts now, Ja.
If I could lick my nuts, imagine that.
I'd be lickin' 'em.
Imagine if Nath could lick round He'd be like Don't be so bloody disgusting! He would! Don't you reckon Nath would be like, 'Oh, yum! Oh!' Daniel, get out of it! It's been a fully hectic week.
The plans for Nath's party are coming along pretty well.
We haven't heard back from Blake Oakfield and S.
mouse, and 'cause Emily Chase dropped out, we're gonna have to invite another one 'cause it's three wishes.
So we could invite another hot chick if you want.
If you want another model to replace Emily, I'll invite another hot chick.
Nah, Tim.
Tim.
You want Tim, do ya? Nath's really keen to invite Tim Okazaki, who's this, like, skater that he's real into, and I'm not that into him 'cause he's a bit of a fag, but Nathan really loves him 'cause he loves his skating.
Alright, we'll get Gran to send out some invites and see if we can get him to come, OK? Yep.
You gotta talk to him, though, 'cause he's Japanese, so he might be a bit weird.
It's cool.
I reckon having Tim there is good 'cause it makes it a little bit 'Cause you got a white guy, a black guy and a Chinese guy - well, he's Japanese.
So I reckon it's a good mix.
(Girls laugh) (Man speaks in Japanese) Big air! Big air! Oh! (Japanese pop music) The champion is .
.
Tim Okazaki! MAN: Tim Okazaki, he's a real star.
Without a doubt, the king of skateboarding today and huge in Japan.
Tim, he can land the gnarliest tricks with very little effort.
MAN: Tim Okazaki! You know, he can make skateboarding look effortless without trying.
He's just an amazing talent to watch.
You know, the kid's got abilities that you can only dream of.
Tim Okazaki! Yeah, he's one in a million.
Right now I'd have to say he's the most sought-after talent in the sports world today.
WOMAN: How do you create a skateboarding superstar? How do you create a superstar? Well, in the case of Tim Okazaki, I am the one to answer that.
I'm his mother and manager, so if I don't know then no-one does.
(Man speaks in Japanese) Tim was born in America.
My husband Yuki moved over to America from Japan for a new life for the children.
Photo, photo, photo.
MAN: Photo.
Photo.
(Man speaks in Japanese) Tim was not that into skateboarding as a young boy.
He wasn't all that keen on it, but I made him do it.
Darling, you're skateboarding.
I bought Tim a skateboard and he was very uncoordinated as a young boy.
There's other boys your age much better than you.
I found that through my own demonstration I was able to teach him balance.
Whee! Whee! I basically taught Tim how to skate.
Trick.
I would drive Tim to the skate park and supervise his training.
It take a lot of work for you to become a champion skateboarder.
Tim started to win competition for one reason alone - because of my hard work and commitment, and because I never gave up.
I just love skateboarding.
I like nailing tricks.
I like grinding on rails.
I like landing them.
It just feels great.
But if I didn't win a competition, I'd sort of get, like, depressed and my mum would sort of lose it.
But it was sort of good in a way because it made me want to get better.
I mean, I wanted to be the best.
I told Tim that if he did not succeed at skateboarding, then I would kill myself.
Uh, that's lucky for me, Tim did succeed, or else he would have a dead mother on his hands.
I've met him a few times, you know, and he seemed like a regular American little kid, you know? And then for some reason, he started to sound more and more Japanese.
I wanted to get the media on side, and to get their attention I thought it would if he sound more like a little Japanese boy that they would find him more interesting, more cute, you know? And I have to say, after a little bit of training vocally, Tim really picked it up (Japanese accent) Thank you very much.
.
.
and the media, they fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
My mum trained me to speak more Japanese.
It seemed to work, 'cause that's when I got really big in Japan.
Yeah, before Tim, I'd say skating wasn't even .
.
even that big in Japan, you know? He sort of exploded onto the Japanese scene.
They don't even realise that he's American, but he's huge over there.
(People scream) I moved my family from Santa Barbara to Tokyo for Tim.
For Tim alone.
The money was no no not in the equation, although I have to admit that having the money now is is not such a bad thing.
(Speaks in Japanese) I wouldn't say I love it here in Japan.
I miss my friends, and having to pretend you're Japanese when you're not is a little weird.
Harro to all my fans.
(All cheer) But if I get to skate, then the rest I can handle.
How do you feel? Konnichiwa.
(All cheer) (Man speaks in Japanese) (Horn beeps) Well, initiations are a pretty big deal.
They're not to be taken lightly.
Me and Hunter, as founding members of the Mucca Mad Boys, we conduct all initiations.
So, yeah, you get your new blokes that want to be involved in the gang.
They really have to prove themselves.
It's not an open invitation.
We're gonna take you out and try you in some random conditions, see how gnarly you are in that sort of situation.
This whole process, it's a way of weeding out the fakers.
It's a way of separating the boys from the men.
Three options today - one, the titty cap.
We ask you to wear that.
You're gonna be streaking up and down every aisle of the supermarket.
You've got the meat.
We're gonna tie that to your ball sack.
You'll go out for a swim - this is option two.
As you know, we had the shark sighting a couple of weeks ago, so that could end badly.
Option three is the cliff.
Hunter's gonna hold you monkey-grip over the edge for 40 seconds.
I've done it.
You shit yourself for the first ten seconds, then you ease into it.
That's the third option.
I urge you, don't choose the easy option, OK? Any questions? Um, when can we get the tat? The tat comes when you've passed initiation, OK? What? There's been Fennel Hell Men out at Blakeys all morning.
You're fuckin' kidding me.
Fuck.
Spooner was out there at dawn.
Shit.
Man, there's graff in the dunnies as well.
What does it say? Blakey's, it's this break and it's It's really close to the rock, hell dangerous.
It's fucked up.
You need the biggest balls to go out there.
It's one of the scariest, gnarliest, most fucked up breaks ever.
Blake's the only one that's been brave enough to go out there.
That's why it's called Blakey's.
Mucca Mad Boys sort of own it, so don't go out there when you know that it's not yours, do you know what I'm saying? That's our turf.
Shit.
They're gonna regret this.
He's done that last night.
That's fresh.
Yep.
That's Packo's handwriting, too.
That's him, he's done it.
You've got no balls, not cock.
He's obviously trying to get my attention.
You know what we've got to do.
Let's go to the headland.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I think you need to concentrate a little more.
From an early age, I started to notice little strange things about Tim, probably before he even knew himself that he was gay.
Little things only a mother pick up on.
And Tim and I have a little discussion and it turn out my inkling was right, he was gay.
It coincided with the time when I was not too happy with the sponsorship we had for Tim with DC And Grobe, and it was a time when I wanted to change Tim's career, so I decided that we should come out to the public, let everyone know that Tim is the world's first gay skateboarder.
My friends know that I'm not gay and I'm not really gay, but my mum was so keen on the whole gay angle and the whole GayStyle thing.
But to the general public and all my fans, I'm gay.
(Speaks in Japanese) Tim Okazaki, the boy who brought skateboarding into mainstream popular culture in Japan (Speaks in Japanese) .
.
and he's gay and proud of it.
Yeah, I was really surprised, hey.
Like, um, hanging out with him a bunch of times, he didn't really seem all that gay, do you know? But apparently he was.
Being gay, I have to pretend I like guys, pretend I don't like girls, and I can't talk to girls or else my mum will get mad.
Says, 'You can only talk to guys' and stuff, which is a little weird.
It worked so well.
I came up with my catchphrase, 'I'm gay,' which I got Tim to say at any skateboard competition or to the media.
I'm gay! (People cheer) Tim really got into it.
I also came up with, 'Skateboarding gay-style'.
Skateboarding gay-style.
ALL: Skateboarding gay-style! That was more of a business decision.
I wanted the kids to get familiar with the phrase 'gay-style', because that's when I started my company GayStyle Enterprises, and we made skateboard decks and streetwear clothing.
We also made some merchandise.
This is a GayStyle ice-cube maker in the cock shape.
This is for the parmesan cheese.
Take it off, shake it on your pasta.
This is the GayStyle cock-shaped whistle.
(Blows whistle) The GayStyle drink bottle.
Fill it up with whatever drink you like.
The GayStyle scrubbing brush.
And it's good for the bath-time, shower-time, with the cock on the end.
It's going so well.
(People speak in Japanese) I'm not totally comfortable with the whole GayStyle Enterprise thing - all the dudes on dudes and the whole hot-pink stuff.
But the way I see it is I get to keep skating, and the whole GayStyle thing sort of keeps everybody happy, so I guess GayStyle psycho! (People speak Japanese) To be honest, I like some of that GayStyle shit.
I wear this GayStyle ring.
Um, it's two cocks together.
ALL: GayStyle! BOTH: It's skateboarding gay-style.
To take something like Tim being gay And you can see that as a negative thing.
But I turn it around into a positive thing.
I told Tim I would make him huge, so in future always listen to your mother.
Everyone say, 'Skateboarding gay-style.
' ALL: Skateboarding gay-style! Tim, say what you like.
Skateboarding gay-style! Yay! (People cheer) Oi! Stop it! Something's got to be done about Nathan's wanking.
Fuck! Get off my chair, you dirty prick! Like he's just obsessed with it.
Stop wanking, for fuck's sake! It's embarrassing for me and for the whole family.
Like, we're all we're all living with it.
I don't know how his dick lasts the day, you know what I'm saying? 'Cause he has, yeah.
And, like, he's a full weirdo around chicks.
and, like, trying to look at her tits and that.
And, like, at home, Nath always lies next to the dog on the couch 'cause it feels good against his dick.
Yeah, he's a full sicko.
Like, I even caught him looking at our own mum in the shower.
Like, seriously, he is fucked in the head.
Nathan! What are you doing? Fuck! Something's got to be done about his wanking, too, 'cause, like, we share the same bedroom, right, and 'cause he's deaf he can't hear himself.
So he's going for it, wakes me up - it's it's disgusting to hear and then you fuckin' see it, and so I've got some shoes that I lined up above my bed so if I catch him I can peg a shoe at his dick, right? But seriously, not even that stops him.
He can't he cannot help himself.
We've got to come up with some sort of solution, 'cause something's got to be done.
It can't go on like this.
When shit like this happens - and it's always those fuckers causing it - then we come straight to the wall.
The wall actually marks the border between Narmucca Bay and Fennel Heads.
Alright, get on the wall, boys.
Yeah, it's the exact point there - one side we're in our territory, the other side, we're in their territory.
Look what he's wearing.
He must be going to work.
What a loser.
Packo definitely would've known about Spooner being out at Blakey's this morning.
He's the founder of the Fennel Hell Men, so knows any shit that goes on.
I don't know if he's responsible for the graff.
Regardless of that, he would be aware of it, and he would know that I will want to retaliate.
Alright, boys, let's show 'em we mean business.
Whenever us boys are really pissed off about something, we come up to the wall and, you know, if we want to let 'em know that we're gonna take it to the streets, we piss off the edge of the wall onto their territory.
That's our way of saying we are ready to go to war.
Drink this, Packo! They don't always notice you when you're up here, so you need to get their attention.
We use mirrors, reflection in the eyes.
That's an old-school trick we did in the '80s.
And these days I usually just send a text message.
There we go.
He's looking up.
Yep, yep.
Guys, get up.
If you've got any more piss left, then piss.
He's looking up.
(Phone beeps) Alright, he's sent me a message, guys.
Empty Sack, see you at BI-LO at three.
We're going into battle, boys.
It's all on, guys.
This is how we roll.
Hope you told your mums you're gonna be late home.
BI-LO at three.
Let's go, fellas.
OK.
Go.
The skateboarding industry has certainly afforded me some luxuries.
This is my penthouse in the heart of Tokyo City, three levels.
As you can see, it's a very nice place to unwind after a hard day of skateboarding.
Some of my furs here.
It's a long way from the poor, struggling days in America.
This is the headquarters for GayStyle Enterprises.
.
.
for my husband Yuki, my second son Luke, of course Tim Take Cindy.
She annoying me.
.
.
and then there's my youngest, Cindy.
I never wanted a third child, so when Cindy was born, I was a little disappointed, but what can you do? And this is Tim's room.
Say hi, Tim.
Tim, hi.
This is the bedroom of a typical gay boy.
As you can see, all the gay things he has on here.
Tim, where where you keep your gay porno magazine? You keep it under here, Tim? Yeah, come on.
Where you keep it? I don't have any.
Don't be shy.
Don't be shy for him, Tim.
Don't be shy for the camera.
We know you like cock.
Yeah.
It's OK.
Uh, this is Bruce Woo, my business manager.
Bruce look after the GayStyle merchandise, the product line.
Well, I love working for the company.
You know, Tim is adorable and Jen is divine.
I think you're trying to suck up to me.
No, I mean it.
You're sucking up 'cause he's here.
No, you're the best boss I've ever, ever had.
You're not getting a cut of the profits like you asked for.
No, but I I'm not joking.
But Jen, you're the best boss I ever had.
You don't say stuff like this normally.
You're saying it 'cause he's here.
Yes, you are.
Go to another room.
I don't want another headache tonight, please.
I'll show you how we deal with these situations.
Packo.
Empty Sack.
Good to see ya.
You too, mate.
What can we do for you, hey? Why was Spooner at Blakey's this mornings? He wasn't.
You know it's Mucca turf.
Hey, why would he bother? The surf's shit over there.
We saw your handiwork on the dunnies, too.
Nice graff.
What graff? Mate, it was probably one of your fuckin' knobs from over there, mate.
I haven't done any graffiti since '95.
I mean You fuckin' wrote it.
It's your handwriting.
I don't know why we're getting the blame for your graffiti issues.
Do you want us do you want us to come beat the shit out of you? 'Cause we will.
We'll beat the shit out of you.
I don't want to have to do it, but I'm happy to do it.
(Horn beeps) Get in the car.
Get in the car, Blake.
What the fuck are you doing? For God's sake, get in Jeff, go home to your wife and leave my husband alone.
Idiot.
Hey, he called it.
He issued the challenge.
We just turned up.
Whatever.
Do I look like I give a shit? Yeah, go home to your wife, you pussy-whipped motherfucker.
Shut up.
We're not fighting, though.
Jeff Packo's wife is a friend of mine.
So did you get the groceries? No.
Nup! Nup! Knew you wouldn't! I am so annoyed with you right now.
Well, things get out of hand sometimes.
I don't care.
What have you got for me, Bruce? My company, GayStyle Enterprise, is an ever-growing business.
GayStyle Nintendo DS.
I want it to grow and grow It's so cute.
It's so Tim.
It's so gay.
Yes.
I love it.
The Tim Okazaki Gay Experience Ride at Tokyo Disneyland.
Oh, good.
Yes.
I love it, a ride at Disneyland.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Good, Tim.
There's a good and bad side to it all.
The bad side is I have to live in Japan and I'm away from all my friends, but the good side is I get to skate a lot, and that's really what I want to do, to be the best.
And Mum says that this whole thing's a game, and if you want to win, you have to play the game.
ALL: I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay! Yeah, without a doubt he's changed the sporting culture in Japan, you know? I'm gay! (All cheer) His style, the gay style is just rocking really hard, and he's a loud and proud homo, you know? So good on you, Tim.
MAN: Ow! Ow! Tim, of course, is my number one priority.
He Genetically, I have given him a wonderful thing, but I need to nurture that talent.
Tim, I am his manager, yes.
But number one, I am his mother.
I'm gay! (Cheers) (Yells in Japanese) Right, so how does that feel? It's good.
It's alright? You're not too loose around there? Not too bad? Well, I come up with a solution.
Um, I made Nath some wank-prevention guards.
Basically, you know, it stops him from reaching his cock, Yeah, you gotta think outside the square when you wanna come up with a solution to your problems.
Oi, Steve, check this out.
Same principle as Ja Rule - means he can't Nath hasn't tried yet, but I don't think he fully knows what they're for.
MOTHER: What are you boys up to? Yeah, he's gonna get a shock when he does.
He won't be able to get any traction on his dick.
Gives his cock a break, at least.
I built myself a motherfucking home recording studio.
Hear me? Fuck yeah, fuck you, fuck.
Play some beats, motherfucker.
£ Obama, Obama, what you gonna do? £ From what I hear coming from that living room, it is bullshit.
£ What do you call this, then? £ I call that shit.
Celebrity endorsement for Ooshi Cola! GayStyle is on the incline.
First-ever flavoured shoe.
Look at the balls on that guy.
Very strict training schedule.
And fart.
Fart! Fuck off! Nathan's being a little shit.
It'll be really good for him to see another family using sign language.
Nathan could take you for a ride around on the back of his motorbike.
BFFs with the Danester.
Fuck off.
Daniel, Nathan wants to see you at the tank.
Nathan, you fag! Have sex with your fucking three-legged dog, bitch! You're gay.
You don't go getting confused, OK? Mum! Nath's just pissed on me!