Austin and Ally s01e04 Episode Script

Guys! I finally finished the new song.
- What are you doing? - Xylo-grilling.
It's a way to combine my awesome music skills with Dez's mad cooking skills.
Window burger? No thanks, I'm trying this new diet where I don't eat anything totally disgusting.
Guess who got a job at cheese out of my league? Ooh, the high-end cheese store.
That place is so much better than cheese just okay.
- Mmm.
- So I just finished the song for our new Webcast.
It perfectly captures everything you're about.
Listen.
What do you think? - I love it.
- Yay! I hate it.
Here.
Try it with my drum chili.
Not the burger.
Ally's song I don't like it.
Well, maybe my drum chili will help with that too.
When the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
Thank you for shopping at cheese out of my league.
Got any cheddar? Go fish.
Got any provolone? This is monterey Jack.
Cheater.
Sorry, I'm distracted.
I can't stop thinking about Ally's song.
The lyrics are so not me.
Well, if you don't feel like playing, I'm gonna eat the deck.
These lyrics out.
"I'm a sensitive guy, make me cry.
"D sunsets I hate sad movies, and what kind of guy cries at sunsets? Buh-bye, Mr.
sun.
He won't be back till tomorrow.
Man, I hate this job.
My entire uniform is made out of real cheese, including my underwear.
I wear cheese underwear all the time.
I love it.
I really feel like I can breathe in it, - especially the swiss.
- Why would you do that? - Because the goat cheese is too squishy.
- Guys! What am I gonna do? I don't like Ally's song, but if I tell her, it'll hurt her feelings.
There's only one thing that you can do.
I never thought I'd say this, - but Dez is right.
Be honest with her.
- Send her a Pickle basket.
- What? - Ow! What? She loves pickles.
- She also loves honesty.
- Well, I don't have an honesty basket.
I only have a Pickle basket.
I guess I'll tell Ally the truth.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Are you screaming because you are as excited about the Webcast as I am? Yeah.
You know me so well.
Oh! This is the best song I've ever written.
- It's perfect for you.
- Yeah, about that I need to tell you something.
I - guys, a little help.
- Can't talk, got cheese in my mouth.
And I'm not here.
Uh, anyway Before I forget, I invited some friends over to watch you tape the Webcast.
I wanna see their faces when you sing our most awesome song ever.
So what were you gonna tell me? Uh That I got you a Pickle basket.
Oh, thank you.
I like pickles.
Ally, bad news I can't do the Webcast today.
- I lost my voice.
- Oh no, that's terrible.
I know.
I I feel awful.
We're gonna have to reschedule.
There's just no way That girl is cute.
Your voice is fine.
I get it.
You're just messing with me.
I can do that too.
Hey, I'm writing you a bad song.
That would be funny.
You ready, Austin? We're live in five, four, three, two One.
Wassup? I'm Austin moon and this is my Webcast.
I guess I'm gonna sing a new song - Whoo! - But, um, um, first, I thought I would dance.
Hit it.
What's he doing? Is he stalling? No.
People don't dance when they stall.
So why isn't he singing my song? Uh Sing the song.
What? Sing the song.
Oh my! Can't hear you dancing.
Come on, just sing the stupid song.
No.
Well, if you think the song's stupid, I probably shouldn't perform it.
Thanks for watching.
See you next week.
I'm out! Why didn't you sing my new song? What? - What? - I'm sorry, Ally, but I didn't like the song.
Dez, did you know about this? Well, I I Oh! Austin.
Why didn't you just tell me you hated the song? I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
So it was better to embarrass me in front of a million people on the Internet? You really think a million people were watching? Look, it's a good song, but it's all about how serious and sensitive I am.
That's not me.
That's you.
I'm more chill, "what up?" I can be chill.
What's up? oh yeah, that's chill.
Look, the point is, Ally, I feel like you don't even know me.
I like having fun.
I break some rules.
I color outside the lines.
Why do you have a coloring book? I just told ya I'm fun.
I'm fun too.
I can color outside the lines.
I can't color outside the lines.
Okay, maybe we don't know each other that well.
We've only been partners for a little while.
Hey, what if we hang out more? I bet if we get to know each other better, - it could help our songwriting.
- That's a great idea.
I'll do stuff you like and you can do stuff I like.
- Cool.
What are we gonna do? - Uh The cloud watching club meets in five minutes.
Oh yay.
Ooh ooh, look, that cloud looks like a car with wings.
Ooh.
Oh, and that one's a pineapple on a canoe.
Ah.
- What do you see, Austin? - A big, white puffy thing.
Boo.
Come on, you're not even trying.
Okay okay.
I see a snowman eating marshmallows.
Wrong.
It's a bunny on a bicycle.
How can you not see that? Can you believe this guy? - Come on, man.
Really? - He's crazy.
Okay, now I know you better.
You like really lame things.
- Oh.
- Can we go do my stuff now? If you can think of something more fun than cloud watching, I'm all ears.
I'm taking you to a horror movie fest.
I was supposed to go with you to that.
Ugh, I hate horror movies.
- They're so boring.
- More boring than staring at clouds all afternoon? Yeah, that's the boringest thing I've ever heard.
Hey, check it out a bunny on a bicycle.
It's not a bunny on a bicycle! It's a bunny on a bicycle.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh yeah.
How did you not like "swamp bride"? There was a wedding.
Girls love weddings.
The swamp guy ate the bridesmaids.
They ran out of appetizers.
Ah.
This stuff is just silly.
I mean chewy eyeballs and chocolate intestines? Don't forget red veins.
Oh yeah.
- Hey, Walter.
- Hi, Walter.
Don't "hey, hi, waiter" me.
You littered in my theater.
- We didn't litter.
- Oh yeah? Look what I found underneath your seat.
Recognize this? Uh, yeah, it's popcorn.
Aha! How would you know that if you didn't litter? Uh, because we've seen popcorn before? I'm watching you.
You too.
Uh, hi, Dez.
What are you supposed to be, an alien zombie? No, a zombie alien.
I'm a zalien A character from my favorite "Zaliens," "zaliens 2," "zaliens 3," "Zaliens 4," "zaliens 5," "zaliens 7" - Ah ah ah, you forgot "zaliens 6.
" -"Zaliens 8" Ugh, that movie stinks.
I wish I could forget it.
Hey, guys.
I'm ready for the fight fest.
Whoa.
Oh.
Ah.
Wah! Yeah.
Nelson, it's a fright fest, not a fight fest.
Aw, nartz.
I practiced my right hook all week.
Well, keep practicing.
Guess who's here to get her zalien on.
Seriously? We're wearing the same costume, but you're scared of her? I'm scared because you guys have something in common.
Best "zalien" movie ever? Uh, duh, "zaliens 3: Brain eaters from beyond.
" - Best scene in that movie.
- Uh, duh, when the Zaliens take the shape of teachers and eat football team's brains.
Oh, okay okay, no biggie.
So we have a few things in common.
That doesn't make us friends.
It could just be a coincidence.
Favorite number between one and a billion.
Two.
Zalien brain suck! Okay, this is the scariest thing I've seen all day.
I think it's kinda cool they have something in common.
I wish we were more like them.
Brain suck! Don't suck my brain.
Okay, so we don't like the same stuff, but at least we're getting to know each other.
And now it's Ally's turn.
So fasten your seat belt, because you're about to take a ride on the fun train.
The mall pond? I think the fun train let us off at the wrong station.
Hey, I come here for creative inspiration.
I sit on this bench, watch the geese and write lyrics in my song book.
Have a seat.
I'm not sitting on that bench.
Do you have to hate everything I like? No, the bench is covered with goose poop.
Eww.
Uh, anyway, I write all my best songs here.
Well, with the help of pickles.
I already know you like pickles.
- Can we go now? - No no no.
No.
That's pickles.
I've been coming here to hang with him since I was a little girl.
Watching helps me when I have writer's block.
I get it.
It's kinda why I like horror movies.
There's something about monsters slurping up brains that gets me psyched to perform.
- Don't you think he's cute? - I guess.
Okay, you're cute.
Oh no, they're getting rid of the pond tomorrow.
They're making this into a parking lot.
What's gonna happen to pickles? Maybe he can move into that store with all the ducks in the window.
That's a chinese restaurant.
Okay, calm down.
We'll call a zoo and what are you doing? Stealing a goose.
I need pickles.
Who else is gonna help me write your songs? Ally, are you breaking the rules? Awesome! I never thought I'd see Ally Dawson dressed as a swamp bride, stealing a goose and running from a security guard.
I'm not running from a security guard.
- Well, you should be.
- Mafreeze! Ooooow I'm sorry.
My friend here is really childish.
I promise he won't do that again.
- Why did we come back here? - We had to get away from that security guard.
You just wanna watch the end of "zaliens 5.
" Then we're killing two birds with one stone.
Shh.
It's just an expression.
We're not killing any birds.
Shh! No talking during the movie! Shh! Did you just honk at me? - No, Walter, uh, that was - Me! I honked at you.
Honk! Excuse me? I'm warning you, kid.
I speak goose and that kind of language will not be tolerated in my theater.
Sorry, Walter.
I meant to say honk.
Apology accepted.
I'm still watching you.
Hey, who littered? That better be a real eyeball and not a gummy one.
Shh! - What's in your dress? - Pickles the goose.
We need to find him a new home because they're tearing out the pond.
Shh! Why won't he quiet down? I don't know.
Maybe he's hungry.
There's popcorn on the floor.
Let him eat that.
Okay.
Okay, pickles, come on.
Oh.
Oh.
Uh, where did Dez go? Hey, guys, did you know there's free popcorn down here? I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
We've got a little problem.
You've got a little problem.
You're eating popcorn off the floor.
No, pickles crawled under the seats.
Oh! We've got to get him back.
Ow! Something just bit me! - Shh! - Ow! It bit me again! There's a zalien in here! It's it's not a zalien.
It's a goose.
A zombie goose! Pickles! Oh! - Oh! - Ow! Oh! Run for your lives! Exit in an orderly fashion! - Everybody panic! - That's in a disorderly fashion.
That's it, goose.
Nobody wrecks my theater.
This is awesome! Awesome? Pickles just caused a panic in the theater and is attacking Walter.
How can you be laughing? Because pickles just caused a panic in the theater and is attacking Walter.
It's funny! You've gotta look at things my way sometimes - and stop being so serious.
- Oh, my poor nose.
Ow ow ow! You're right.
This is kind of funny.
Walter, shh! There's no screaming in the theater.
- What are you doing? - Pickles is going to the animal reserve - So I'm knitting him some webbed-footie pajamas.
Yesterday was fun.
I'm glad we got to hang out.
Me too.
I feel like we really know each other now.
So we're different it makes us better partners.
Totally.
You sure you're gonna be okay without pickles? Yeah, I kind of realize I don't need him to help me write songs anymore.
I've got a new goose.
His name is Austin.
Cool, you named a goose after me? Where is he? It it's you.
You're my goose.
Why, because I pooped on a bench one time? I was two years old.
No, it's a metaphor.
I have you, so I don't need pickles anymore.
Oh, thanks, Ally.
You wanna go work on a new song - for the Webcast? - I already wrote one.
I think you're gonna like it much better than the other one.
I like the bass when it booms, you like the high-end treble I'm like the 99th floor and you're cool on street level I like the crowd rock rock rock rocking it loud you like the sound of hush hush, hey, keep it down hot tub, flip-flops retro, dance, pop we rock different ways beach bum, city fun touchdown, home run what can I say-ay-ay? It's me it's you I know we're not the same, but we do what we do it's you and it's me and who says that we have to agree? 'cause I like what I like and sometimes we collide but it's me and it's you I know we're not the same, but we do what we do.
I forgot how fun coloring was.
Duh.
Guess who got a job at t-shirt world? Guess who gets a best friend discount? I'm so happy you guys like hanging out together.
And by happy, I mean totally weirded out.
Why? We have the same favorite horror movie, the same favorite number and the same favorite pizza topping.
- Pepperoni.
- Mushrooms.
- Mushrooms? - Pepperoni? - Ugh! - I cannot be friends with someone who likmushrooms.
Well, I can't be friends with someone who likes pepperoni.
You guys are gonna end your friendship over something as silly as a pizza topping? It's not just a pizza topping.
First she likes pepperoni, then she doesn't want to get it delivered because she thinks we don't get out enough.
But sometimes I'm tired and I just wanna watch tv! Why are you so tired all the time? I'm the one who works at least two jobs a day! Well, everything's back to normal.
Let's see what you've got.
You're gonna be so proud of me.
I colored outside the lines.
What did you color outside the lines? Uhh right there.
No.
Stop.
- Who's outside the lines now? - You broke my crayon!