Back to Life (2019) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1
MR BOBACK: Lara!
— LARA: My dad’s back.
G | R LS :
Hi, Mr Boback!
Mum, do you wanna do something today?
— What?
Something, anything.
— I've got too much to do.
ChIa—what?
— Chlamydia.
You'll need to contact
your sexual partners and inform them.
Partners?
It's over.
— Oh, come on, let's just have a little
like, a little goodbye fiddle.
— Goodbye, Dom.
Hello, again.
Wednesday afternoon, amusement park.
Sorry. Who are you?
You have a bite mark——
— No! No.
It's on your shoulder——
— Oi, oi! Get out of it, you little shit.
I'll be in touch.
PHONE RINGS
MANDY: Hi.
— MARK: Where are you?
Yeah, I'm at the school morning meeting.
Oh. Listen, / can ’t find Phoebe ’s karate kit.
MANDY: Look in her room.
— / did.
Look, are you OK about today?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
It's it's just a day.
OSCAR: I'm afraid I have a migraine.
You're gonna have to go then.
What? Take a Nurofen.
OSCAR:
It's a migraine.
Then we won't go, we can all go another day.
No, Caroline, the whole point is it's today,
to take her mind off the anniversary.
MUFFLED: We need to get her out of town,
away from it all.
At any rate, it'll be good for you and Miri
to spend some time together.
CAROLINE:
Your headache might clear up in a minute.
OSCAR:
It's not a headache, Caroline.
MANDY SCREAMS
Hiya, hi, babe. Hiya.
Yeah, I'm just thinking, I think the, um,
karate kit's in the airing cupboard.
Yeah.
Which one is she again?
Your father's aunt.
— Thought she died.
No, she refuses to. Old cunt.
But she's family, so you visit.
Like we visited you in that place.
You can say "cunt"
but you can't say "prison"?
It's extremely rare
for me to use the "cunt" word
and | only do so with regard
to absolute cunts.
SHE SIGHS
It's a lovely drive and we're gonna have fun.
Feels fun.
ENGINE STARTS
Fifth of November.
It's a beautiful day.
Exciting.
MIRI CHANTS:
Shark! Shark! Shark! Shark!
Mum, you have to say "attack".
— Attack.
No, at the same time as me.
SHE CHANTS: Shark! Shark! Shark!
— You're not saying it.
No, so, you say attack, then I have to try
and guess when you're gonna say it
and say it before you.
CAROLINE CHANTS:
Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack!
MIRI GIGGLES
No.
Stupid game.
When we get home, I'll make you play
ping—pong doorways.
What on Earth is that?
— MIRI CHUCKLES
We used to make up lots of silly games
in prison to pass the time.
There is a lot of time.
You get quite creative.
Do you know that I can make
a banoffee pie in a kettle?
Yeah. It's actually rather good, I'll
I'll make it for you and Dad one day.
There's a good hairdresser in Petworth.
Maybe we could stop off and
see if they can fit you in.
Wow.
You could have some highlights.
It might make you feel better.
— No, it might make you feel better
that stuff doesn't matter to me,
you know that.
Just a thought.
MAN ON RADIO: We humans have creative
software in our brain, so it’s those neuro——
I want to listen to The Archers.
— No, let's just talk.
About what?
— Anything, something.
We know nothing about each other.
We were talking and we finished.
OK, brilliant.
Three-hour drive. Hooray.
URINE SPLASHES
HE SIGHS
— URINE SPLASHES
Fuck you, Caroline.
URINE TRICKLES
DOORBELL RINGS
What are you doing?
— Shh.
I'm trying to enjoy
this very comfortable silence.
You're being childish.
— Shh! That's talking.
Look, what do you want me to say?
I wake up, I eat porridge.
Your father goes on about something.
This morning it was seven types of plastic.
Why are you getting at me?
Ah! I just wanted to take you out
for a nice day——
Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum!
— Shit!
MIRI:
Oh, what was that?
Oh!
— Jesus!
RADIO PLAYS
THE ARCHERS THEME TUNE
Mr Matteson, I'm from Pilot Power,
I need to check your meter.
Oh, somebody came a few days ago.
— I know.
But it gave an odd reading
and so I'm following up.
Don't want an astronomical bill.
— OSCAR SCOFFS
That would be very unlikely.
l have the energy efficiency
of this house entirely under control.
May I just say that your recycling system
out in front here
is exemplary.
Um, thank you.
Yes. If everyone put in the time you do,
there'd be a lot more polar bears.
It's the least a human can do.
Did you know that teabags
are not compostable?
And that certain brands, they use
synthetic——
— Synthetic fibres, yes.
HE CHUCKLES
I learnt the hard way.
All those bags toxifying my compost bins.
Oh, don't go there.
You are a leader of men.
A Viking.
It would be an honour
to check the house of a hero.
Uh, of course, come in.
— Yes? Yes, OK.
"Exemplary".
OSCAR HUFFS AND CHUCKLES
Oh, shit, poor thing.
Oh, Christ!
Oh, I think it's dead.
The car. Oh, the car!
— Is it dead?
Oscar'll be furious.
Think it's mostly dead.
Oh God, it blinked.
— How we gonna get there?
Oh no, it's still breathing,
it's like 99% dead.
If we're late,
she's gonna be such an old bag about it.
Mum, we have to do something about it,
it's in pain.
Oh, God. Put it out of its misery.
Oh, I can't. You do it.
You do it.
What?
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
— You so did.
Oh, I didn't mean——
— What, I've killed before
so I can kill again?
— Oh, don't be so silly.
You're my mother,
you're supposed to be on my side
not looking at me like I'm some kind of
cold—blooded
Bloody! Oh, shit.
Well, now it's dead.
It was in pain.
— Bleurgh, I can taste it.
No, you can't. Leave it.
No
— Look, come on, we'll be late.
No, we're not leaving it in the road.
What are you doing?
— Burying it.
Help me.
No. Bloody filthy.
Oh, no.
I'm killing it even more.
Sorry, little fox.
CAROLINE SIGHS
I've never done that before,
killed something.
It was the right thing to do.
— Yes, but
Foxes are bastards anyway, they steal babies
from bungalows and chickens and stuff.
MIRI SIGHS
OK, Mum, let's go and sort out the car.
SHE SINGS:
# The day thou gavest, Lord, is ended #
# The darkness falls at thy behest #
— MIRI MUMBLES ALONG
# To thee our morning hymn ascended #
# / pray shall sanctify our rest #
— # / pray #
# / pray shall sanctify our rest #
— Blah, blah, blah
MIRI MUMBLES THE TUNE
SAMUEL:
Ay, ay, ay
What is it?
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick and
That is faster than it should be.
— Well, it's always like that.
No. No.
HE SIGHS
There is energy being wasted
somewhere in this house.
No, absolutely not, I am vigilant.
PHONE CHIMES
Oh, is-is that you?
No, it's my wife's.
That is not a Viking's phone.
I would like to check all your power—points
and appliances.
Mr Matteson, don't worry.
This will take a few hours
but I promise,
I will get to the bottom of this.
Maybe it's in the car
and it fell out of your pocket?
I don't wear things with pockets.
I've never worn anything with pockets.
What's wrong with pockets?
— Hips, Miri!
Oh, God, where is it?
Well, it's fine, we'll just
There's a payphone——
— It isn't fine.
Nothing is fine.
— Oh, my God. Is this about pockets again?
I had it in my hand.
Well, you probably left it at home.
— I didn't.
I know I didn't.
Oh, Christ, maybe I did.
Oh, shit.
Mum, what you doing?
I'm sitting down.
OK, look, I'm gonna go to the payphone
and I'm gonna call
the breakdown people, alright?
I'm sure I had it.
Oh, for fuck's sake, why is everyone
so obsessed with their phones?
I need to talk to Miri.
Who are you?
— Her best friend.
It's very important.
Well, she's not here.
— SHE SIGHS
Can I get a cod and chips?
It's ten in the morning.
Are you judging me?
— No.
Well, when you've got kids,
ten in the morning is two in the afternoon.
When's she coming back?
— She's not.
Um, we're moving venue.
I've got a truck.
Gonna park it by the beach
— Do you wanna fuck me?
What?
Well, you look really bored.
I'm stressed, you know,
we'd both get something out of it.
But I don't even know who you are.
— Yeah, I mean, that's the whole
Oh, God, just forget it.
MIRI:
They'll be about two hours.
What? That's ridiculous.
A tyre is hardly a priority.
Two women in the middle of nowhere, no phone,
it's like Midsomer Murders.
Mum, we're in West Sussex,
a Tory MP will probably drive by
and save us before the breakdown people do.
They say two hours, they mean four.
OK.
If I'd known, I'd have brought a book.
Where's your father when we need him?
HE SIGHS
HE MOUTHS
HE MOUTHS
I'm gonna cancel my membership.
MIRI:
Then they'll definitely come.
CAROLINE SCOFFS
Mum, why don't you come and sit down?
— No, I don't want to sit.
I've done sitting. I'm standing now.
SHE SCOFFS
OK this is awful.
CAROLINE SIGHS
I know.
No, no, no, no, not the breakdown.
This. Us.
You have been so weird with me
since I came back.
Just
Where are you going?
— I don't know.
We are gonna have this conversation.
— OK, fine.
You were right,
I thought you should kill the fox.
And I smashed its head in
so we didn't have to talk about all this.
God, I'm a terrible mother.
I think I might be a cunt.
— No, you're not.
lam.
I left you and your father
when you were six for a whole month.
I—l know, we ate custard every night,
it was quite fun.
Sometimes I didn't put you to bed at night
cos I couldn't bear reading
The Tiger Who Came To Tea.
OK.
— Again and again.
It's just a book.
— God, I couldn't bear that bloody tiger.
He had no manners.
— Because he's a tiger.
You know, he couldn't get an erection.
— Well, he was just there for tea.
Your father, after you went away.
Probably thought it was all my fault.
Oh, forget it.
Where are you going? You—you want to talk.
Yeah, a real conversation,
this is just you whining in the woods.
Why can't I do anything right?
— Because you don't do anything right!
Do you know that I shared a room with a woman
who said the word beetle 20 times a minute
for two years?
No, because you don't ask.
I
— The only thing you could ask me about
was the weather.
So?
— So, so? What's the weather like, Miri?
I was inside for 23 hours a day!
Well, I didn't know.
— This momentous thing happened to our family
and we can't talk about it
because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Fine. The whispering.
Being frozen out of the church choir.
Having to go to the supermarket
after dark out of town to avoid the stares.
Friends dropping like flies.
No Christmas cards on the mantel
means no Christmas full stop.
Just two M&S turkey legs
in front of the telly
hoping it would make it go faster.
Years and years of nothing but me and him
rattling around that sad, empty house
waiting for you to come back.
Worrying about what you'd be like
if you did come back.
I don't ask you about it because I hated it.
And I want to pretend
none of it ever happened.
You ruined my life. Prison ruined my life.
And I hated you.
l have hated you.
Thank you.
What?
— No.
Thank you for being honest with me.
Maybe a bit too honest, but
What do you want me to do to help you?
Just be my mum, that's all.
Hm.
OSCAR:
Hello?
I've gotta go, I've gotta meet someone.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
Sure, I have everything I need.
Hah.
Bingo. Hello, ladies.
Hi, I'm Miri.
Hello.
PHONE CHIMES
Shit!
— "My labia is moist."
Whoa! Whoa, Mr Matteson
DOM SPLUTTERS
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey!
It was meaningless.
It was my wife, you
— Fuck off.
Fuck off!
— Shut up, you little twat!
Stop, wait, wait. Wait! Wait, wait, wait!
Wait. Just wait. Let me just this is new.
You wanna fight me but I'm warning you now,
I'll fuck you up.
Fuck off! Fuck, fuck you. Fuck off!
Fuck off!
Hey, whoa, whoa. Calm, calm, calm
DOM GRUNTS
Fuck, you're 70!
Jesus!
— I am a Viking!
Fuck! Argh!
You always were a pathetic little jerk.
I can feel your nuts on my nuts.
You stay away from my wife
and my daughter. Is that clear?
Agh
You're lucky I don't fight pensioners.
DOM COUGHS AND GROANS
Oh, for fuck That was unnecessary!
Viking!
Is Miri here?
No.
Mr and Mrs Matteson?
— Nobody's here.
BOTTLE CAP POPS
— Just me.
Sorry, who are you?
I'm here to fix things.
Drink on the job, do you?
— Hm, hm, yeah.
Mm.
Sometimes. When things go very well.
Ha. Such good friends, all of you, hmm?
You, Miri, and of course, poor little Lara.
But even the best friends
they have secrets, don't they, Mandy?
How do you know my name?
HE SNIFFS
Hm
Well
I think I I better go now.
Don't fuck with me.
I'm a head teacher.
HE CHUCKLES
Good luck sleeping tonight.
Two hours my arse.
Come here, hang on.
I thought you said it doesn't matter
how you look?
Well, it matters to you, doesn't it?
I know you wouldn't have
done anything unless
You and Lara, you were such good friends.
Why was she so angry with you?
It's never made sense.
— It's a rabbit hole, I can't even
The poor Bobacks.
To lose a child
unthinkable.
CAR HORN HONKS
Shut up, you bloody Tory scum!
Mum, you're a Tory.
— Yes, I know.
CAR HORN PLAYS "DIXIE"
— Oh, hello!
CAROLINE:
Ha! At last.
MIRI:
That's a cheery horn.
Another year.
You're not missing much, um
I never know what to do today.
I just asked a stranger for sex.
Miri's back.
You're probably haunting the shit out her.
Like you are me.
I still can't sleep.
But you know that.
Sometimes I miss you
and then I remember what a bitch you were,
and I still miss you.
Grade—A skunk.
Don't pull a whitey.
MIRI CHANTS:
Shark! Shark! Shark!
Attack!
— THEY LAUGH
I still don't get it.
I'm more of a bridge person.
MIRI:
Bridge? Mum!
When we get home,
I am teaching you ping—pong doorway.
CAROLINE:
No, Miri.
What are you doing out here?
Is that blood?
Uh,yeah.
Uh, I got into a bit of a squabble
with a rose bush.
I won.
You're here.
We're all here.
Mum beat the shit out of a dead fox.
Miri.
— Well
it happened, so I'm gonna tell everyone.
You look terrible.
But you're mine.
— I know.
Right, you two, get inside.
No snogging until after dinner.
MIRI:
Whee!
This is so nice.
— Mm.
Look at that one there.
Wow.
— Did you see that?
MARK SNORES
SHE SIGHS
PAPER CRUNCHES
MR BOBACK: Lara!
— LARA: My dad ’3 back, hide the cigarettes.
Hi, Dad!
G l R LS :
Hi, Mr Bobackl
LARA:
Hi, Dad.
G l R LS :
Hi, Mr Bobackl
Yes.
Hello, Mr Boback.
Mm.
MR BOBACK: Lara!
— LARA: My dad’s back.
G | R LS :
Hi, Mr Boback!
Mum, do you wanna do something today?
— What?
Something, anything.
— I've got too much to do.
ChIa—what?
— Chlamydia.
You'll need to contact
your sexual partners and inform them.
Partners?
It's over.
— Oh, come on, let's just have a little
like, a little goodbye fiddle.
— Goodbye, Dom.
Hello, again.
Wednesday afternoon, amusement park.
Sorry. Who are you?
You have a bite mark——
— No! No.
It's on your shoulder——
— Oi, oi! Get out of it, you little shit.
I'll be in touch.
PHONE RINGS
MANDY: Hi.
— MARK: Where are you?
Yeah, I'm at the school morning meeting.
Oh. Listen, / can ’t find Phoebe ’s karate kit.
MANDY: Look in her room.
— / did.
Look, are you OK about today?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
It's it's just a day.
OSCAR: I'm afraid I have a migraine.
You're gonna have to go then.
What? Take a Nurofen.
OSCAR:
It's a migraine.
Then we won't go, we can all go another day.
No, Caroline, the whole point is it's today,
to take her mind off the anniversary.
MUFFLED: We need to get her out of town,
away from it all.
At any rate, it'll be good for you and Miri
to spend some time together.
CAROLINE:
Your headache might clear up in a minute.
OSCAR:
It's not a headache, Caroline.
MANDY SCREAMS
Hiya, hi, babe. Hiya.
Yeah, I'm just thinking, I think the, um,
karate kit's in the airing cupboard.
Yeah.
Which one is she again?
Your father's aunt.
— Thought she died.
No, she refuses to. Old cunt.
But she's family, so you visit.
Like we visited you in that place.
You can say "cunt"
but you can't say "prison"?
It's extremely rare
for me to use the "cunt" word
and | only do so with regard
to absolute cunts.
SHE SIGHS
It's a lovely drive and we're gonna have fun.
Feels fun.
ENGINE STARTS
Fifth of November.
It's a beautiful day.
Exciting.
MIRI CHANTS:
Shark! Shark! Shark! Shark!
Mum, you have to say "attack".
— Attack.
No, at the same time as me.
SHE CHANTS: Shark! Shark! Shark!
— You're not saying it.
No, so, you say attack, then I have to try
and guess when you're gonna say it
and say it before you.
CAROLINE CHANTS:
Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack!
MIRI GIGGLES
No.
Stupid game.
When we get home, I'll make you play
ping—pong doorways.
What on Earth is that?
— MIRI CHUCKLES
We used to make up lots of silly games
in prison to pass the time.
There is a lot of time.
You get quite creative.
Do you know that I can make
a banoffee pie in a kettle?
Yeah. It's actually rather good, I'll
I'll make it for you and Dad one day.
There's a good hairdresser in Petworth.
Maybe we could stop off and
see if they can fit you in.
Wow.
You could have some highlights.
It might make you feel better.
— No, it might make you feel better
that stuff doesn't matter to me,
you know that.
Just a thought.
MAN ON RADIO: We humans have creative
software in our brain, so it’s those neuro——
I want to listen to The Archers.
— No, let's just talk.
About what?
— Anything, something.
We know nothing about each other.
We were talking and we finished.
OK, brilliant.
Three-hour drive. Hooray.
URINE SPLASHES
HE SIGHS
— URINE SPLASHES
Fuck you, Caroline.
URINE TRICKLES
DOORBELL RINGS
What are you doing?
— Shh.
I'm trying to enjoy
this very comfortable silence.
You're being childish.
— Shh! That's talking.
Look, what do you want me to say?
I wake up, I eat porridge.
Your father goes on about something.
This morning it was seven types of plastic.
Why are you getting at me?
Ah! I just wanted to take you out
for a nice day——
Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum!
— Shit!
MIRI:
Oh, what was that?
Oh!
— Jesus!
RADIO PLAYS
THE ARCHERS THEME TUNE
Mr Matteson, I'm from Pilot Power,
I need to check your meter.
Oh, somebody came a few days ago.
— I know.
But it gave an odd reading
and so I'm following up.
Don't want an astronomical bill.
— OSCAR SCOFFS
That would be very unlikely.
l have the energy efficiency
of this house entirely under control.
May I just say that your recycling system
out in front here
is exemplary.
Um, thank you.
Yes. If everyone put in the time you do,
there'd be a lot more polar bears.
It's the least a human can do.
Did you know that teabags
are not compostable?
And that certain brands, they use
synthetic——
— Synthetic fibres, yes.
HE CHUCKLES
I learnt the hard way.
All those bags toxifying my compost bins.
Oh, don't go there.
You are a leader of men.
A Viking.
It would be an honour
to check the house of a hero.
Uh, of course, come in.
— Yes? Yes, OK.
"Exemplary".
OSCAR HUFFS AND CHUCKLES
Oh, shit, poor thing.
Oh, Christ!
Oh, I think it's dead.
The car. Oh, the car!
— Is it dead?
Oscar'll be furious.
Think it's mostly dead.
Oh God, it blinked.
— How we gonna get there?
Oh no, it's still breathing,
it's like 99% dead.
If we're late,
she's gonna be such an old bag about it.
Mum, we have to do something about it,
it's in pain.
Oh, God. Put it out of its misery.
Oh, I can't. You do it.
You do it.
What?
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
— You so did.
Oh, I didn't mean——
— What, I've killed before
so I can kill again?
— Oh, don't be so silly.
You're my mother,
you're supposed to be on my side
not looking at me like I'm some kind of
cold—blooded
Bloody! Oh, shit.
Well, now it's dead.
It was in pain.
— Bleurgh, I can taste it.
No, you can't. Leave it.
No
— Look, come on, we'll be late.
No, we're not leaving it in the road.
What are you doing?
— Burying it.
Help me.
No. Bloody filthy.
Oh, no.
I'm killing it even more.
Sorry, little fox.
CAROLINE SIGHS
I've never done that before,
killed something.
It was the right thing to do.
— Yes, but
Foxes are bastards anyway, they steal babies
from bungalows and chickens and stuff.
MIRI SIGHS
OK, Mum, let's go and sort out the car.
SHE SINGS:
# The day thou gavest, Lord, is ended #
# The darkness falls at thy behest #
— MIRI MUMBLES ALONG
# To thee our morning hymn ascended #
# / pray shall sanctify our rest #
— # / pray #
# / pray shall sanctify our rest #
— Blah, blah, blah
MIRI MUMBLES THE TUNE
SAMUEL:
Ay, ay, ay
What is it?
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick and
That is faster than it should be.
— Well, it's always like that.
No. No.
HE SIGHS
There is energy being wasted
somewhere in this house.
No, absolutely not, I am vigilant.
PHONE CHIMES
Oh, is-is that you?
No, it's my wife's.
That is not a Viking's phone.
I would like to check all your power—points
and appliances.
Mr Matteson, don't worry.
This will take a few hours
but I promise,
I will get to the bottom of this.
Maybe it's in the car
and it fell out of your pocket?
I don't wear things with pockets.
I've never worn anything with pockets.
What's wrong with pockets?
— Hips, Miri!
Oh, God, where is it?
Well, it's fine, we'll just
There's a payphone——
— It isn't fine.
Nothing is fine.
— Oh, my God. Is this about pockets again?
I had it in my hand.
Well, you probably left it at home.
— I didn't.
I know I didn't.
Oh, Christ, maybe I did.
Oh, shit.
Mum, what you doing?
I'm sitting down.
OK, look, I'm gonna go to the payphone
and I'm gonna call
the breakdown people, alright?
I'm sure I had it.
Oh, for fuck's sake, why is everyone
so obsessed with their phones?
I need to talk to Miri.
Who are you?
— Her best friend.
It's very important.
Well, she's not here.
— SHE SIGHS
Can I get a cod and chips?
It's ten in the morning.
Are you judging me?
— No.
Well, when you've got kids,
ten in the morning is two in the afternoon.
When's she coming back?
— She's not.
Um, we're moving venue.
I've got a truck.
Gonna park it by the beach
— Do you wanna fuck me?
What?
Well, you look really bored.
I'm stressed, you know,
we'd both get something out of it.
But I don't even know who you are.
— Yeah, I mean, that's the whole
Oh, God, just forget it.
MIRI:
They'll be about two hours.
What? That's ridiculous.
A tyre is hardly a priority.
Two women in the middle of nowhere, no phone,
it's like Midsomer Murders.
Mum, we're in West Sussex,
a Tory MP will probably drive by
and save us before the breakdown people do.
They say two hours, they mean four.
OK.
If I'd known, I'd have brought a book.
Where's your father when we need him?
HE SIGHS
HE MOUTHS
HE MOUTHS
I'm gonna cancel my membership.
MIRI:
Then they'll definitely come.
CAROLINE SCOFFS
Mum, why don't you come and sit down?
— No, I don't want to sit.
I've done sitting. I'm standing now.
SHE SCOFFS
OK this is awful.
CAROLINE SIGHS
I know.
No, no, no, no, not the breakdown.
This. Us.
You have been so weird with me
since I came back.
Just
Where are you going?
— I don't know.
We are gonna have this conversation.
— OK, fine.
You were right,
I thought you should kill the fox.
And I smashed its head in
so we didn't have to talk about all this.
God, I'm a terrible mother.
I think I might be a cunt.
— No, you're not.
lam.
I left you and your father
when you were six for a whole month.
I—l know, we ate custard every night,
it was quite fun.
Sometimes I didn't put you to bed at night
cos I couldn't bear reading
The Tiger Who Came To Tea.
OK.
— Again and again.
It's just a book.
— God, I couldn't bear that bloody tiger.
He had no manners.
— Because he's a tiger.
You know, he couldn't get an erection.
— Well, he was just there for tea.
Your father, after you went away.
Probably thought it was all my fault.
Oh, forget it.
Where are you going? You—you want to talk.
Yeah, a real conversation,
this is just you whining in the woods.
Why can't I do anything right?
— Because you don't do anything right!
Do you know that I shared a room with a woman
who said the word beetle 20 times a minute
for two years?
No, because you don't ask.
I
— The only thing you could ask me about
was the weather.
So?
— So, so? What's the weather like, Miri?
I was inside for 23 hours a day!
Well, I didn't know.
— This momentous thing happened to our family
and we can't talk about it
because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Fine. The whispering.
Being frozen out of the church choir.
Having to go to the supermarket
after dark out of town to avoid the stares.
Friends dropping like flies.
No Christmas cards on the mantel
means no Christmas full stop.
Just two M&S turkey legs
in front of the telly
hoping it would make it go faster.
Years and years of nothing but me and him
rattling around that sad, empty house
waiting for you to come back.
Worrying about what you'd be like
if you did come back.
I don't ask you about it because I hated it.
And I want to pretend
none of it ever happened.
You ruined my life. Prison ruined my life.
And I hated you.
l have hated you.
Thank you.
What?
— No.
Thank you for being honest with me.
Maybe a bit too honest, but
What do you want me to do to help you?
Just be my mum, that's all.
Hm.
OSCAR:
Hello?
I've gotta go, I've gotta meet someone.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
Sure, I have everything I need.
Hah.
Bingo. Hello, ladies.
Hi, I'm Miri.
Hello.
PHONE CHIMES
Shit!
— "My labia is moist."
Whoa! Whoa, Mr Matteson
DOM SPLUTTERS
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey!
It was meaningless.
It was my wife, you
— Fuck off.
Fuck off!
— Shut up, you little twat!
Stop, wait, wait. Wait! Wait, wait, wait!
Wait. Just wait. Let me just this is new.
You wanna fight me but I'm warning you now,
I'll fuck you up.
Fuck off! Fuck, fuck you. Fuck off!
Fuck off!
Hey, whoa, whoa. Calm, calm, calm
DOM GRUNTS
Fuck, you're 70!
Jesus!
— I am a Viking!
Fuck! Argh!
You always were a pathetic little jerk.
I can feel your nuts on my nuts.
You stay away from my wife
and my daughter. Is that clear?
Agh
You're lucky I don't fight pensioners.
DOM COUGHS AND GROANS
Oh, for fuck That was unnecessary!
Viking!
Is Miri here?
No.
Mr and Mrs Matteson?
— Nobody's here.
BOTTLE CAP POPS
— Just me.
Sorry, who are you?
I'm here to fix things.
Drink on the job, do you?
— Hm, hm, yeah.
Mm.
Sometimes. When things go very well.
Ha. Such good friends, all of you, hmm?
You, Miri, and of course, poor little Lara.
But even the best friends
they have secrets, don't they, Mandy?
How do you know my name?
HE SNIFFS
Hm
Well
I think I I better go now.
Don't fuck with me.
I'm a head teacher.
HE CHUCKLES
Good luck sleeping tonight.
Two hours my arse.
Come here, hang on.
I thought you said it doesn't matter
how you look?
Well, it matters to you, doesn't it?
I know you wouldn't have
done anything unless
You and Lara, you were such good friends.
Why was she so angry with you?
It's never made sense.
— It's a rabbit hole, I can't even
The poor Bobacks.
To lose a child
unthinkable.
CAR HORN HONKS
Shut up, you bloody Tory scum!
Mum, you're a Tory.
— Yes, I know.
CAR HORN PLAYS "DIXIE"
— Oh, hello!
CAROLINE:
Ha! At last.
MIRI:
That's a cheery horn.
Another year.
You're not missing much, um
I never know what to do today.
I just asked a stranger for sex.
Miri's back.
You're probably haunting the shit out her.
Like you are me.
I still can't sleep.
But you know that.
Sometimes I miss you
and then I remember what a bitch you were,
and I still miss you.
Grade—A skunk.
Don't pull a whitey.
MIRI CHANTS:
Shark! Shark! Shark!
Attack!
— THEY LAUGH
I still don't get it.
I'm more of a bridge person.
MIRI:
Bridge? Mum!
When we get home,
I am teaching you ping—pong doorway.
CAROLINE:
No, Miri.
What are you doing out here?
Is that blood?
Uh,yeah.
Uh, I got into a bit of a squabble
with a rose bush.
I won.
You're here.
We're all here.
Mum beat the shit out of a dead fox.
Miri.
— Well
it happened, so I'm gonna tell everyone.
You look terrible.
But you're mine.
— I know.
Right, you two, get inside.
No snogging until after dinner.
MIRI:
Whee!
This is so nice.
— Mm.
Look at that one there.
Wow.
— Did you see that?
MARK SNORES
SHE SIGHS
PAPER CRUNCHES
MR BOBACK: Lara!
— LARA: My dad ’3 back, hide the cigarettes.
Hi, Dad!
G l R LS :
Hi, Mr Bobackl
LARA:
Hi, Dad.
G l R LS :
Hi, Mr Bobackl
Yes.
Hello, Mr Boback.
Mm.