Ballers (2015) s01e04 Episode Script

1 - We need to use your yacht.
- What? I can trust you with my bling? This event is strictly corporate.
I want a real stake in Vernon.
You get 3% of, what, every dollar you handle? - I'll take one of those.
- You'll take one? Who's the chick? - That's Kara.
- She one of your jump-offs? - Who gives a damn if she is, man? - Alonzo Cooley does.
She's his mom.
You good, Charles? I just puked in the dinghy.
I'm not gonna let you or anybody else use my man Vernon.
You need me! We're gonna live forever! I can't swim.
No, no.
Come on, come on.
Hey, the guy's out cold.
Come on! Come on! Hey.
You okay? Yeah.
Yeah, it was nothing.
Well, that nothing shook the bed like Shakira was in it.
I trucked Fat Reggie through a DJ booth last night.
That shit's gonna haunt me for years.
- Mm-hmm.
- Baby, you look great.
- Thank you.
- Going to the studio? Yeah, apparently Richard Sherman challenged Money Mayweather to a bare-knuckle brawl in Vegas last night.
Shit.
It's already 8:30.
You have a busy day? I've got to lock down Vernon's Dallas contract today.
Isn't that sort of a Jason thing? It is, but let's just say I've got a lot riding on this deal closing.
Okay, well, if you can spare the time, there's someone I would like you to meet for me.
Who? The neurologist at the sports medicine center I told you about, Paul Grodan.
Yeah, if he wants to open up a portfolio at Anderson, I am the guy to see.
Look, you can play stupid and dance around it all you want, but we both know it's getting worse.
You don't want to talk to me about it, that's fine, but you need to see someone.
I will, I promise.
You know, 50% of all linebackers suffer from concussive syndrome.
I know that, baby, but I'm not in that 50%.
- I'm in the good 50%.
- And here's your chance to prove it.
And I will.
Just let me TCB today.
Then I'm gonna make the call this afternoon.
Okay, well, how about if I take care of a little business? Oh, what'd you have in mind? If you go to the doctor today, I promise that I won't tell the world that Ricky is using Alonzo's mom as a pincushion.
Ah, you're blackmailing me.
Well, what can I say, Spence? I care.
Yeah, I can't beat the girl without these hook-arounds.
- Wait, what did you say? - I am.
Good morning, ladies.
- Hey, baby.
Morning.
Mwah.
- Hey.
Mmm, something smells delicious.
That's my perfume.
Fleur de Rocaille.
Same as Selena Gomez wears.
What you smell is your breakfast.
It's almost done.
All right.
Hey, morning, 'Shad.
Morning, Bey.
Hey, hey, hey! No chocolate on Uncle Charles' work uniform.
Uh-uh, Rashad.
Give your sister back her damn Snickers bar.
Language.
Who's texting you this early, baby? Work! We have been slammed at the dealership.
Well, then you need to hurry up and eat.
- Mm-hmm.
- Sell me some cars.
I ain't never seen nobody eat that fast in all my life.
How you even breathe? You hiding gills or something? Theresa, leave him alone.
He's in a rush.
All I'm saying, if he moved his ass as fast as he moved his mouth, - you'd be pregnant by now.
- We're trying.
Well, try harder.
How many babies I gotta carry before my kids have a cousin? I got to go.
All right.
See you later, sis.
You have a good day.
Baby, that was so delicious.
That was the breakfast.
Yeah.
That was delicious.
- I just I love you.
- I lo I love you.
None of my business, but he acting strange as a motherfucker.
He sure is.
Joe Krutel, Anderson Financial.
Hey, good morning, handsome.
How'd you sleep? Hey, Spence.
Good times last night, right? Yeah, it was a great time right up until your magic moment.
Oh, shit.
- It's real? - As real as it gets.
Joe, you ever drop the N-bomb like that again and I will kill you.
Come on, you know I didn't mean it.
Doesn't matter.
Why don't you do us both a favor and stay away from Vernon and Ricky just for the day? Maybe they won't fire us.
Get your shit together, Joe.
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
I haven't seen a nautical cleanup effort like this since the Exxon Valdez.
Ha, funny.
Oh, God.
Ah! Daddy needs a little hair of the dog.
Sorry, pal, party's over.
Mr.
Anderson requested his boat for the afternoon, so you and your friends are gonna have to leave.
What friends? Oh, shit.
- Hey.
- Hi, Joe-Joe.
- Hi.
- Do you have an iPhone 4 charger? No, I don't.
Sorry.
My memory's a little bit hazy after last night.
You guys are? I'm Cassie and this is Michelle.
Right, hi, Cassie.
Hi, Michelle.
I hate to be this guy, but I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave.
- What? Really? - Why? It's a long, sad story, believe me.
But if you really want to hear it, I could tell it to you over some tequila back at my condo.
- We have our own condos.
- Oh, mazel tov.
And besides, we just invited a few of our friends to meet us here.
- Oh.
- Oh, look.
Shit! Those are your friends? Yeah.
And they brought Victor Cruz and LaMarr Woodley.
They play professional football.
Yeah, I know who they are.
I do.
I guess we'll just have to tell everyone we have to leave.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
Shh.
Shh.
Shut it.
Shut up.
Just sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Just sit tight, okay? Sit tight.
I swear I'll Fuck.
Fire up the engines! Hey, Mr.
Anderson said he wants the boat.
I don't give a shit if Somali pirates have seized the fucking boat.
Just do as I say.
Here.
Your funeral, buddy.
- I'm the captain now.
- Aye, aye.
- How you feeling, Reg? - I'm feeling fine for a man who nearly cracked his head on a subwoofer.
- That's a little dramatic.
- Spencer.
Hey, man, I'm sorry about what happened last night.
Honestly.
I mean, sorry don't buy neck braces, homie.
Dallas came in strong at 66 over six with 24 guaranteed.
It's 11 million a year.
Solid opening offer.
- Solid, huh? - We're still negotiating.
I want to go back at them with 75, 30 guaranteed.
75? That's, what, 12 and a half a year? Like, how is that better? If you let the man finish.
It's a five-year deal, not a six-year deal.
Vernon, that's $15 million plus we leave an extra year for your final contract.
And that's when we really clean up.
Okay, so, cuz, you want to tell these boys what's up or you want me to? Look, do your thing, man.
Go ahead.
- Tell us what? - We got a number.
What we feel we need to earn to take care of the family for life after the game, buy Mama her dream house, help the community.
We want to build a wing in a children's hospital.
- That's respectable.
- What's the number? 101 million, 50 guaranteed.
And none of this new money analysis shit neither where they count money they already owe us as new money paid.
Nah.
You need more bed rest, Reggie.
101? That's more than JJ Watt.
That's no accident.
Well, with all due respect, you know, you're fucking crazy.
JJ Watt is changing the game.
For God's sakes, the man's receiving touchdown passes.
Vernon can catch.
Or maybe you feel JJ deserves more because Because he's white.
You want me to grab a pair of pom-poms and put on a short skirt or you want me to speak the truth to take our men the best fucking deal possible? It needs a process.
We don't care about the process.
We just want to see results.
If you feel that Vernon won't be better than JJ, then speak the fuck up.
Well, you know, I just did.
We're setting the bar too high right now.
Let's use Gerald McCoy's contract as our measuring stick.
Okay, here's here's my measuring stick.
I'ma swing it over here so he can see it.
The two of you have colluded, have collaborated, and cunted up this deal since the beginning.
If you guys can't get the man's numbers straight, we're gonna find people who can.
It's that simple.
Big C.
What's the word? I got trouble, bro.
Some little hottie from the boat sending me bikini pics.
That don't sound like trouble to me.
Yeah, well, you ain't married to a ninja.
You need to get a bat phone.
It wouldn't matter if I had 10 bat phones.
My wife has psychic abilities.
You know, I had a dream one night about that blonde with the big titties from Prime.
I woke up and Julie was just sitting there looking at me, staring.
She didn't even say nothing, but I know she You gotta relax, Charles.
There's nothing wrong with a little flirting.
I mean, it's healthy.
Yeah, well, texting with some random behind my wife's back doesn't feel healthy.
- It feels suicidal, Rick.
- That's 'cause you're not embracing it.
You gotta swim with the stream, brother, not against it.
You're all good, man.
Jockstrap, too.
I checked twice.
You're weird, bro.
Good looking out.
I mean, how'd this girl get my number anyways, man? - I gave it to her.
- What the fuck you do that for?! - She asked for it after you split.
- That's messed up, Rick.
All you gotta do is not respond if you don't want to.
Oh, hell, man.
She just text me asking if I can talk.
Choice is yours.
Namaste, nigga.
Shit.
And go.
Look, 'Zo, um, this shit between me and your moms, what can I say? This shit is awkward.
- You don't need to say nothing, man.
- No, I think I do.
No, you don't.
Trust me, Rick.
We all good, baby.
We are? Yeah, my moms told me you broke things off with her.
I appreciate you for showing me that kind of respect, man.
And it was hard, too.
Difficult.
She's a good woman.
- Yeah, she is.
- Yeah.
What you say we forget about all this bullshit and go ball? - Yeah? - Let's ball.
- Let's go ball.
- Let's go ball.
Hell, yeah.
Let's get this money.
Let's go ball.
- Welcome.
Welcome.
- Thank you, sir.
- Let's eat.
Let's eat.
- Let's get it.
Jarret.
You and Alonzo doing okay? - Oh, we doing great.
- You sure about that? Look, we are all straight, Mr.
Siefert.
And I know better than to bullshit a man like you.
Okay.
Good.
Just know my door's always open, Ricky.
I took a big chance on you.
I want to see you pan out.
Besides, I'm a pretty damn good listener.
I don't need a listener, sir, but I thank you anyway.
- Fair enough.
- All right? I thank you.
- Get back to work.
- Yes, sir.
- Championship.
- Nothing less.
- Championship.
- Nothing less.
- Championship.
Yes, sir.
- All right, now.
Go, Cassie! Go, Cassie! So you an accountant or something? Yeah.
It's that obvious? No, I just saw that picture of your goofy-ass banner back there.
Wow, goofy, huh? I guess I've been called worse.
We both have, right? No one's ever called me goofy.
No, sure, granted, but they called you slow, small, weak.
That's why you went undrafted, isn't it, Victor? All those coaches and scouts and executives said, "Eh, you never played against any real competition.
You're not good enough.
" They didn't even invite me to the combine.
With the talent you have, that is a goddamn travesty.
God, it must suck balls having all these experts pick you apart on your pro day.
Judging your life's work on one set of drills, one 40-yard dash, the fucking Wonderlic Test.
- That shit is a joke.
- Here's what they don't get.
There's no test for the heart, - for your passion, for your desire.
- Damn right, Joe.
You proved to 32 teams that they were dead fucking wrong about you and you have earned every cent you've made since.
It would be wise to be careful who you trust it with.
Hey, Vic.
Vic.
Hey, come on.
These bitches are trying to drown me.
We should probably go help the man.
Fuck, yeah.
All right, here comes the lifeguard, bitches! Olé! Let's go, Joe.
Feel all that? - I do.
- Good.
Okay, Spencer.
Obvious question Ever taken a hit to the head? That's why I'm here.
- When'd it happen? - The last time? Or I can rattle off a list right now.
Last one that you can remember.
Okay, um New Orleans two years ago, week 10.
I was speared diving for a loose ball.
Completely unintentional.
- Did you watch footage? - Oh, yeah.
Multiple times.
We had a laugh in the film room.
What's the first thing you remember after getting hit? We recovered the ball.
Do you remember that from the footage or your actual memory? Okay, um first thing I remember was the following set of downs after we scored.
Mm-hmm.
Look straight ahead for me, would you? You're gonna get lost in my eyes, Doc.
- Any headaches? - Finance-related.
Impaired vision? All depends on what brand of tequila I drink.
How about trouble sleeping? That all depends on who I'm with, Doc.
- You know the life.
- Funny stuff, Spencer.
Now be honest.
Yeah, sometimes.
Well, your mini-mental and neuro exam look good, but I'd still like to get in there and get a closer look.
Get in where? Your head.
Make sure everything's in tip-top shape.
We can squeeze you in for an MRI today.
Doc, I just came in because Tracy asked me to come in and see you.
- Spencer, don't panic.
- I'm not panicking.
I never panic.
Uh, MRI really necessary? It's only precautionary.
Besides, we won't know if the MRI is necessary until after you take it.
Okay.
I liked talking to you at the party, Charles Greane.
Thank you.
I enjoyed meeting you as well.
I like talking to you now, too.
Huh.
- Are you okay? - I'm more than okay.
What's going on over there? Oh, you know what's going on over here, Charles Greane.
You should get it going on over there, too.
- I'm at work.
- So? Look, Sammy, I've got to tell you something.
I'm a married man.
And you can't have friends? Well, I don't think I sent you a little something.
And I'm not in a basement in Arkansas with five kids either.
I'm five miles away with my vibrator I just named Chuck.
You should come over and play.
I can't do that.
Once a player, always a player, Charles Greane.
Uh - Hey, Sammy.
- Uh-huh? Please don't call me again.
Ooh.
- You have fun tonight, bro.
- Yeah, you know me.
I already know.
Hey, good shit out there.
- Good shit out there, Marcus.
- I appreciate it.
- Hey, Lamar! - What's up? - Lamar, baby, I love you, boy.
- You the man, Ricky J! I love you.
Where the fuck is my ride? Need a lift, Jarret? Hop on this.
What are you looking for here, Jason? Top-of-the-line money.
New thresholds have been established.
I want to reset the market.
Out of the question.
Boss would have a hemorrhage.
Patrick Peterson's making 14 a year in Arizona's secondary.
- He's a hell of a player.
- Yes, he is.
But Vern, he's a penetrator and an occupier.
And we both know that traditionally pass rushers, they make more than corners.
As long as we front-load this thing and make sure the guarantee is strong, we can sweat the total value later.
What's McCoy getting paid? Gerald McCoy? Yeah, Gerald McCoy.
What's he getting paid? 98 over seven.
51 guaranteed.
Never gonna happen.
If it doesn't, I'm getting fired and you can have this exact same conversation next week with another agent.
I'm not gonna screw up my cap over this.
I've got other needs to fill.
Vernon hasn't missed a game through his entire first contract.
And that's just on the field.
Nobody gives back to the community the way that he does.
I mean, the guy wants to build a hospital wing for sick kids, for Christ's sake.
And honestly, the way things have been going, the truly good guys like Vernon, they're more valuable than ever.
Jesus Christ.
You're pouring it on thick.
No, I'm just speaking the truth.
And, Hal, if you don't think Littlefield is worth the money, buddy, he's gonna have to start seriously considering free agency.
That sounds like you're trying to strong-arm us here.
Well, that's not the terminology I would use, but, yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.
That's a disappointing development, Jason.
Because we sure as hell aren't gonna be strong-armed just because some defensive tackle's got a better agent than your client does.
Oh, now that's just plain rude, Hal.
Partner, if you think that's rude, well, then you're gonna have a lot to say about this.
Son of a bitch.
Hi, Hal.
- What's up, J? - Spoke with Hal.
All right, how'd it go? 71 over five, 40 guaranteed, and 18 upon signing.
Wow, 14 a year.
That is a hell of a leap.
- Didn't expect that.
- It's a hard-line.
Take it or leave it.
It's a no-brainer.
Since you got the deal, you should be the one to present it to Vernon.
Already did.
Told him we had 40 guaranteed and he hung up on me.
You believe that shit? I'll handle it.
They said they're going to the Forge tonight.
Forge, all right.
You just hang tight.
Mr.
Strasmore.
- We're ready for you now.
- I'll be right back.
I'm gonna go grab something out of my car.
I'll be right back.
90 seconds.
All right.
These motherfuckers want to treat me like I'm a rookie? Them dumb, illiterate motherfuckers better read my stats.
I blow them all off the fucking planet and you know that.
Y'all better wake the fuck up.
Ricky Jarret doesn't get hazed.
Ricky Jarret does the motherfucking hazing.
All right, Ricky.
I don't have much time.
Now, I know it's been a tough adjustment for you.
I want to fucking kill somebody, man.
Let's calm down now.
What's Alonzo's problem with you? He knows I'm gonna catch more passes, score more touchdowns.
Nothing personal? I've heard some rumblings.
Rumblings? Nothing specific.
Murmurs.
Guys are talking.
I don't know shit about murmurs, rumblings, or any of that shit, but I do know I'm gonna stick my size 11 Air Jordan up somebody's ass.
The organization will not respond well to that.
Now, if you screw with team chemistry, it will not shine kindly on either of us.
- I gambled on you.
- And I appreciate you, Mr.
Siefert, for giving me this opportunity.
All I want to do is play football without looking over my shoulder.
You're a man of faith.
Try turning the other cheek.
Yeah, you're right.
Okay.
All right, do the godly thing.
Good.
Now I want to suggest something else that I think will help.
It's called a mantra.
You mean like a sexual thing? No.
It's a phrase you repeat to yourself to help control the rage.
It goes like this I am bigger than my problems.
I'm bigger than my problems.
When Alonzo or anybody else does something to get under your skin, you just say this till the anger subsides.
- Go on, try it.
Close your eyes.
- Okay.
All right.
All right.
I'm bigger than my problems.
Breathe deep.
That's the key.
I'm bigger than my problems.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
I am bigger than my problems.
I am bigger than my problems.
I am bigger than my problems.
Open your eyes.
How you feeling? Like I'm bigger than my problems.
There you go.
Oh, shit.
This shit's legit.
Shula teach you that? Phil Jackson seminar.
The zen master.
Got me through my first divorce.
Well, it's clutch, bro.
And I can't thank you enough for opening these doors and being a friend.
- Here, take this.
- What is it? That's where you'll find your car, Ricky.
My car's not a car, Mr.
Siefert.
It's a Ferrari.
- Thanks for everything.
- Okay.
Close the door on your way out.
I'm bigger than my problems.
Hey, Joe, we gotta do this again.
Any time, man.
You just say the word.
You're a fun dude, Joey.
- You are fun, Joe-Joe.
- "You're a fun dude, Joey.
" You're a fun dude and a lot more.
I underestimated you, Joe.
That happens all the time.
Shit, I'm a fucking dead man.
Hey, Victor, come here for a minute, man.
Listen, all those guys that got drafted when you didn't, how did you prove to everybody that you were better? - By busting my ass.
- You wanted it more, right? - Absolutely.
- Same with me and Spencer.
There's no magic formula to what it is we do.
All financial firms are more or less the same.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
But what separates us is the work we put in all phases of the game.
We're building something big, right? We're building something huge.
We're building something great.
And we're gonna make a lot of people a lot of money.
We want you to be part of it.
- Let's set up a meeting.
- Yeah, okay.
Okay, good.
Good, good, good.
I got your number, all right? - Sounds good.
- Uh-oh, what's happening? - Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
- What's he doing? What's he doing now? Did he just get a touchdown? - That's actually pretty good.
- It's pretty good, right? Don't underestimate me, man.
I keep telling you.
Hey, Mr.
Anderson.
Say hello to our potential new client Victor Cruz.
Nice boat, Mr.
Anderson.
Hi, Katya.
We'll get off.
We'll get off.
Let's go.
See, there she is.
Wow, I've never seen them do that before.
Oh! I am ooh! Ooh, I am bigger than my problems.
I am bigger I am bigger than my prob what the fuck?! Yo, Spence, what you doing here, man? Ladies, do you mind if I steal him for a minute? - Not at all.
- You're hot.
Keep your panties on, all right? Excuse me.
- Spence.
- I said talk to Vernon.
Only Vernon.
Yo, fuck you, man.
When it come to dollars, I go wherever he go.
- What the fuck did you just say to me? - Hey, come on, chill, Spencer.
You know I don't talk money without Reggie.
- You hung up on Jason.
- No, I did.
Vernon, he got you $71 million with 40 of it guaranteed.
That's enough money to take care of your family, buy Mom a house, and do whatever you need to do for the kids in the community.
- It's a good deal, Spence.
- But that's not the number we wanted.
- So we shouldn't have to settle.
- "We," huh? Is he the one putting his body on the line? His bones, his blood, his sweat? He's been here from the start.
- It's called loyalty.
- Thank you.
What about your loyalty to Jason, huh? He went toe-to-toe with one of the toughest negotiators in the league and he came back to you with a contract that makes you one of the highest paid defensive players in the game.
Vernon, I need you to smarten up.
We let the next contract be about your ego.
Right now the only thing that matters is $40 million guaranteed.
We're not afraid to play the free agency market.
If he gets hurt, you get nothing.
Both of you get nothing.
- I'm not gonna get hurt.
- You know how many times I've heard that? You got to think positive, Spencer.
Come on.
Is this your final answer? Look, I love and I respect you, cuz, but it is what it is.
I'm sorry, Spence.
It's just business.
Okay, well, here's my final answer.
You do whatever the hell you want to do.
And when you realize, Vernon, this has been the mistake of a lifetime, don't come running back to me.
Because the moment you give me my 300K back, me and you, my friend, we're done.
Fuck off.
Yo yo, Spencer.
Come on, man.
Come back here.
Why you got to be like that? Let his ass go.
- Fuck him.
- Damn.