Barely Famous (2015) s01e04 Episode Script

Thank you guys so, much for coming in.
Yeah, thanks for having us.
Now that we're a few episodes in, we decided, let's show 'em to potential audience members in our target demo.
Oh so you're gonna tell us what people Yeah, so Think of you basically.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
What does America think of the Fosters? Oh, God.
I'm nervous.
Getting feedback's really fun.
First off Fun stuff.
everyone loves you guys.
Aw, thanks! Aww- But they do have like a few ideas for things that could be improved to make you a little more likeable.
Okay.
First off, Erin.
People said that you were very "with it.
" Cool.
And also that you're incredibly shallow.
Huh.
Mm-hm.
I get that.
Not bad.
Really? Yeah.
Not shallow in a bad way just How many people said that? That majority and sort of everyone else said "superficial" so just sort of lumped them together? Okay.
I will take those notes and kill myself.
Don't do that! Okay.
You are under contract.
Right.
Okay so well, we got her out of the way.
Sara.
Sara! Sara! Sara Foster.
Model.
Former model, yeah.
Form- Um the feedback on you was inconclusive.
Hm.
Sorta Like Not good or bad.
Yeah, like a human shrug.
That's never anything I've ever heard of.
It's probably like a hundred people so no offense but like who cares.
Well, it's 10,000 people.
Oh.
Yeah.
I feel like you didn't poll guys, obviously.
I mean we polled all genders, races But mostly jealous, women? That sounds like something Erin would say.
I'm sorry but you know, we're not filming right now we're just in a meeting.
Sara, I'm sorry if you didn't notice, but we are definitely filming.
Ah, still rolling guys.
Okay, well you're not going to use that.
Sara, here's one.
You're hot for a mom.
That's cool, actually.
Yeah, I've been working hard not to put it out there that I'm a mom.
Okay, well, don't tell your kid.
She's, she's fine.
So, we're just going to leave these with you.
Look them over if you want to and just be more likeable and just do something interesting.
Let's talk about the network feedback.
Unlikeable? Really? No one's buying that.
Unlikeable is like a word nobody would ever use to describe me.
But, you want likeable, I'll show you likeable.
Watch.
Hearing that, 'I don't pop' it's one of the dumbest notes I've ever gotten.
I mean that feedback is just like, it's so stupid.
I don't even listen to it to be honest with you, it's not even a factor in my life.
I would never even Sara.
It doesn't mean anything to me.
Sara.
What do they know? Sara! You know what I'm saying? Yes, what?? Your boob is out.
How do you not feel when your boob is out of your dress? How do you guys not say anything? Huh? How does nobody when there are 35 people behind the monitor cut? Great point.
Can I see playback? I want to see how they looked.
I mean it was not our best meeting.
No but what they said about you is true.
I mean look if I see an opportunity to seem a little bit more likeable, I'm just gonna do that.
I need to get back to my sexy reputation.
Like, 'Hey, we'd love you to do another Maxim cover.
' How come nobody's asked me to do a workout video? You are spiraling.
I am not.
Looks like a spiral to the rest of us.
Don't involve the crew! So what are you gonna do about it? This is the part where we let the audience know what we're gonna do about it.
I have to go to Molly Sims' book party.
You have to go? Well, I have to be on a red carpet.
I think I'm just gonna- I'm gonna hire Rachel Zoe.
I'm gonna have her give me- not a makeover 'cause I obviously like, look good but just new clothes.
Well, I mean I feel like it's more like a lifestyle change you need to make, but sure.
You can start with clothes.
Oh, my God let me help you.
Oh, it's okay.
No, of course it's crazy.
I'm happy to help.
Here, let me take that.
Okay.
You're very nice and very pretty.
Oh.
Thanks.
I don't mean to keep you from what you're doing.
Oh- You sure? I literally have nothing to do today, I'm so happy to just be like right here helping you.
Okay.
I'm Rich.
I'm Erin.
Hey, nice to meet you Erin.
Nice to meet you.
I'd like to take you out for lunch.
Getting asked out by someone is a little complicated 'cause then you have to give them an answer.
And sometimes, I feel a little stuck.
Where does it come from? I don't know, I'm just a guessing man, but it could come from going out with your camera crew and really being put into a hole there when a guy in a wheelchair asks you out and you can't say no 'cause you're being filmed.
Crazy.
Well, the cameras do change the dynamic.
For sure.
Uuhh.
Yeah .
I'd love to do that.
That'd be awesome.
We could take a walk down the street.
Take a walk That's a wheelchair joke.
Yeah.
I like that you have a sense of humor about it 'cause it makes- You know what they say when you lose your legs you make awkward cripple jokes to strangers who you think are pretty.
Whoo.
Okay, so we're going out.
And I'm excited about it.
Can I help you with something? Yes, I'm here to see Rachel.
Yeah, do you have an appointment? Uh, no, I hear her.
What's your name? I'm just gonna go back- Sorry.
Do you mind? Could you check in here? I've known Rachel, casually throughout the years and every time I see her it's always the same thing, 'Girl! You should come and visit anytime you want.
Open door policy.
' She really said that stuff? A version of that.
Excuse me, please! Hi!!!! Sorry, Rachel.
No, it's fine, we know each other.
Hi! Hi.
How are you? Hi.
Muah.
Hi.
Um- How's it going? Well you told me that one time when I saw you, you said that anytime that I want to come by and check things out I Yeah, people like always say that, but it's funny that you're here it's great.
It's good to see you, what's going on? Okay, let me just cut to the chase.
Okay.
I have a big event.
It's red carpet, it's paparazzi and you know.
So I need to look hot I want to make a statement and you know.
I mean to be totally honest, I'm not really styling anymore.
Maybe I can just give you a few things.
I wouldn't actually want you to try on anything now 'cause sometimes that spray tan can rub off.
I just immediately think very elegant, very classy Catherine Deneuve - Belle de Jour very-yeah that's really chic! You know, pull your hair back in a chignon, maybe some tweed? This could be kinda great--- Oh, definitely that's, no.
Well, this is actually from my last collection so Look, I don't think I'm being clear, who did you just say I reminded you of? Catherine Deneuve? Cather--- I'm not quite sure who that is, but she sounds old.
I want hot.
Think Megan Fox: Transformers, washing the car? Yeah You know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think that.
I want you to see my abs, I want you to see my ass, I'm okay with a little nipple.
What do you have that will just show it all? Um Do we have any swimwear? I no, I don't want Well, to be totally honest I don't have all that much time to kind of nurture this whole project that is yourself.
Okay, you know what? This is not working.
Um Clearly.
Mila? Rich.
Hi, Rich.
Nice to meet you.
Pleasure to meet you.
I'm actually going to run to the bathroom real quick.
Are you guys on a like, date? Yeah, yeah we are.
It's really admirable.
Mm-hm.
I can't get over the fact that we got a table this fast.
Have you ever tried telling them that something's wrong with you? Just make something up? I just come in in a wheelchair.
I'm not even crippled.
Right This is just to meet you and to eat here.
Really? No.
Hi.
Hi.
This is compliments of the owner.
That's really cool.
To a serendipitous meeting, I did not expect to end up here and I'm having a really nice time.
Sometimes you get yourself into a situation for the wrong reasons, but then once you're there, there's something about it that feels right.
So you like this guy? Yeah, I mean at the end of the day you know, I've dated a lot of able-bodied guys who are real bleepholes.
That is so true.
If I meet a guy who is handicapped, but he's like my soul mate, am I going to let the wheelchair get in my way? No.
Erin? Hi.
How's it going? Mila, this is Rich.
Hi, Rich.
Nice to meet you.
Pleasure to meet you.
I'm actually going to run to the bathroom real quick.
Okay.
So if you'll pardon me.
Are you guys on a like, date? Yeah, yeah we are.
Wow.
I know.
It's really admirable.
Why? Cause I always thought you were like eehhh .
I'm not gonna help you insult me.
Oh come on, I'm not trying to say you're self-centered- Wha? Or superficial.
He seems great.
Yeah, he's tall, dark, and handsome.
Is he tall? I don't know that, you're right.
By the way, congratulations.
Uhh.
.
on what? Sorry, what? Wait, did you just touch my belly? Mm-mm.
I didn't think you were pregnant I'm joking, Erin.
Oh my God, I'm literally sweating right now, that is Whoo.
.
I mean you're at least 5 months.
Okay, let's stop while we're ahead.
I'm gonna stop giving numbers.
You know, I wanted to tell you about this thing I'm doing Thursday night and you should bring your date.
It's really cool, I'm involved with this great organization.
Great! You've never invited me to anything before.
Bring Sara, bring your sister.
Okay, for sure.
Great to see you.
Bye.
Really killed that one.
What a bitch.
Hi.
You know when you have like foods that you hated as a kid and then you like obsessed with them- You're so beautiful.
Thanks.
Thank you, okay.
That's really nice, I'm even blushing so.
Um, so while you were in the bathroom, Mila asked if we wanted to go to this event that she's throwing.
Are you asking me on a real date? Yeah, I am.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, I'd like that.
Okay.
Great.
I feel bad for what I wanted to ask.
Ask.
Is he ever coming out of the wheelchair or he's No, no, no.
He's stayin' there, that spine is bleep.
He's forever? No, he's locked in that thing.
You know, what are ya gonna do.
We actually had a great time.
He was cool, he was funny, he like kept me on my toes and people treat us like royalty.
I don't know, we've been texting since then and like The point is you like him and--- Yeah and I think he's cool and- Hold on.
Oh my God.
Ooh, my God.
This is not happening.
There's nothing more annoying when someone gets a text and responds big like that and then doesn't share.
It's so bad that I can't even.
I can't.
It's not- it's from Rich.
What do I do? I don't know but I will also say that it works.
Okay, it obviously works, but like I've never had a guy send me a dick pic within 24 hours of meeting me.
It's very presumptuous to send someone a dick pic, but I also understand that you really don't know the tone of what someone is trying to say.
I think the tone of sending a dick pic is, 'Check out my dick.
' Sounds about right.
I think you have to cut him loose.
But I'm already locked into going to this thing with him, by the way do you want to come, cause you were invited too.
Yeah, I'll go.
I don't really care.
I want to show you my options for the Molly party.
Okay.
Sorry, we've just been talking about you for a long time.
Yeah- Let me show you.
-for like 12 minutes which I totally understand how that would like go way past your limit.
Okay, wait, so like what happened at Rachel's? It was fine, she just isn't on board with my image of me.
What about this? I mean, it's not like the worse thing like it's Right, but also, no underwear.
What do you mean? No underwear? It's literally barely covering your crotch.
Yes.
Exactly.
No! That's-- If I happen to come out of the car.
insane.
You sound crazy.
This That's actually a really cute skirt.
No, no.
Not a skirt.
A dress.
Oh, lord.
No, no, no.
First of all, this slit? It's almost like a window to your vag.
What if you turned it around Right, but it's a skirt.
Okay, so that's out.
The best thing that you have here is this empty hanger.
Filled with possibilities, this could work- Okay.
if you put something normal on it.
I wouldn't expect anyone looking the way you do to be on board with what I'm doing.
I'm adorkable.
You look insane.
I know what I'm doing, my vision is crystal clear.
Well you don't have to get mean.
I'm not mean! I'm trying to help you.
Molly! Molly! Hey, how are you? Hi! Good to see you.
Give me the spiel, tell me about your book.
"Everyday Supermodel," it's all about inner beauty, talking about goals and being the best you can be.
I'm so excited, we've worked so hard on it.
You're such a glowing inspiration.
What is Molly's brand and how does it relate to you? Polar opposite brands.
Doesn't mean I don't want to be associated with her brand.
Totally! I'm more in the sex brand.
The sex brand.
Would you say you're like a sex worker? I don't know what a sex worker is.
What is- So maybe you are one? Sure! I can be a sex worker! It's like I don't even have to do anything.
She just does it for me.
Twinsie! Ahh! Sara! Let's do a picture.
Hold on one second.
Dana, Dana! Oops! Nip slip! It's everyday supermodel! Ok? Not the everyday prostitute! I have no idea, Molly- I have to keep on brand, do you know how hard I've worked--- She's-- I just want to do one photo.
Give me one second, I just have to--- I don't want you in this picture.
Excuse me, can you move so I can get the picture? There's no picture.
Oh! I'm falling! Bye, guys! Thank you so much! She's wasted.
Thank you so much! I don't- Molly! Should we get the picture before you go? Wait, who are you again? She hasn't taken her medication today.
I'm one of Molly's best friends.
We're like twins.
So I just come to support her.
She comes to support me.
Does she show up looking like a hooker to your events? I can't hear you.
With all the noise.
Totally! Probably for the best.
I sent you a picture of my bleep.
I'm having a hard time reading your energy right now.
Oh, drink up baby.
I got you white wine, is that okay? It's the only kind I drink.
Perfect.
Cheers.
Cheers.
So, I'm sorry, I sent you a picture of my bleep.
Yeah, that threw me a bit.
I only sent it because I wanted you to know everything works.
I wasn't trying to be a creep.
Well, I understand that you might need to be a little bit more forthright with that stuff so I get it, but is it okay if I ask like how did you end up in the wheelchair? Oh.
What happened? I should talk about it.
It was a drunk driving accident.
Oh my God.
That's terrible.
I know.
I only drank like six beers, and then this car that was driving in its lane, but it was there.
Uh-huh.
And then we ran into each other.
If he wasn't on the road, this wouldn't've been a thing.
I don't know if you can say it's like his fault for just like being on the road.
No, it's wrong place, wrong time just like I was.
No, I feel like y okay.
The part that sucks is that I lost some friends, so I shouldn't be complaining.
Erin, how are you feeling about Rich at this point? I just don't think that there's a romantic connection here.
I feel like this is more of a friendship.
That was a quick change of heart.
Thoughts from you, Sara? You'd probably look real bad if you dumped him in front of the cameras, in a chair, right? That probably be real bad.
Your likeability will rrrrrreally go down the drain.
You'd be put into obscurity just with me.
Really glad you invited me.
I'm having a hard time reading your energy right now.
Oh, drink up baby.
Hi guys! How's it going? Hi.
Thank you- Hi! It's so great to see you.
Rich! Right? Yeah.
Oh- Good to see you again.
Nice to see you.
You look- Julie.
-hot.
Thank you! Julie.
Julie.
A pleasure.
Everyone here is so happy to have you.
Jesus.
Yo, I have had the worst night, you have hey.
Rich, Sara.
Hi.
Sister.
How are you? Uh better.
Mila, Hiii.
Here, hold.
You know what, I would love to get a picture with you for my Instagram.
I'm just gonna go touch up.
We'll be back, later.
Bye! Okay.
I'll just wait here.
Oh, there you are.
What Hey, what's going on here? Sorry, who are you? No sorry needed, I'm his wife and you are? Hey, what's going on here? Sorry, who are you? No sorry needed, I'm his wife and you are? You're married? What are these? Are these strippers? Basically.
I'm so sorry, hi I'm an actress.
Sure, sure and I wanted a pony when I was a kid, so can you explain what's going on? We're on a date right now.
He's wearing a ring! Did you not see that Okay with your seven glasses of wine? That is his wine, I'm holding his wine and my wine.
Oh I don't know what I'm doing.
Shh No give me a minute! I did not know he was married.
Okay, well now you know- It was not there.
have it, have it.
Take him! Have fun, pushing him down the ramp.
I left the kids in the van.
You have kids? We have kids.
Have fun.
Cheers, cheers to that.
And then you can all triple kiss.
Okay, but wait.
Wait.
He has kids.
I did not know you had a family.
Erin, Erin.
I think you should shut the bleep up.
I would just love to get that picture.
Not the time.
I need you guys to just go.
I think it's time to go, Sara.
Thank you.
Yep, absolutely.
We're leaving.
Let's go.
I really see how this could come across unlikeable.
He was wearing a wedding ring.
I saw it, everybody saw it.
I didn't see it.
How is that possible? That wheelchair is very distracting.
And it really catches your attention.
The eye goes straight to the wheels.
So I was so focused on not seeing the details and letting that separate him that I overlooked his whole family.
That is It's a real bummer.
Hi! Hey! Small talk, small talk, small talk.
I've actually been meaning to talk to you guys about something.
I kinda want to make my butt a little bigger.
Do we have a plastic surgery budget? We just have an in-house guy.
You should think about Ooohhh!!! You should think about! Uh, no.
I don't show my boobs that much, but I'm a 34C so No one would ever have known.
-I have no idea.
- Okay, let's get back to the subject.
So, obviously this week was a total mess.
You guys showed us feedback and it said we had to be different than we are and so we like overcompensated and we all know - where it landed us.
- Message heard.
No more audience testing.
Yeah.
You just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
- Oh.
- Just like you stay on point.
- We thought it was just like a like a train wreck.
Ooh, no, no, no, no, no.
What you're doing is Mahvelous, so You almost broke up a guy's marriage, are you kidding? Very Housewives, very hot.
You can't script that kind of stuff.
Honestly though, I think people believe the Internet.
She doesn't want to know feedback.
I want to know feedback.
That's not true, we both Sara, you were crying last night.
- Were there cameras there? - Was there a camera there? No We have to email somebody about that.
Goddammit, we said don't leave the bleep house.
Look, we get it.
You do not want to hear - the sweet delicious these little nuggets - scoffs - I would love one nugget.
- Yeah.
You wanna go down this road again? Why don't I give Sara just one sweet little treat and - You don't have to hear anything.
- Okay.
Okay? People are saying Oh my god, they love how you are a slut just like your sister.
- Oh! - How good is that? Right? Yeah! That's great.