Belle's (2012) s01e04 Episode Script
Whole Hog
1 Tomorrow night, Belle's is hosting the gourmet society of Atlanta.
They're having what they call a "whole hog dinner.
" That's where they get to eat an entire barbecued pig.
And while I never thought of becoming a vegetarian before, this could be the meal that tips me in that direction.
Okay, everyone pay attention.
Now, here's the menu for tomorrow night's feast wedges of crispy pork skins, spare ribs with pineapples, pulled pork sliders, smothered pork chops, pork loin wrapped in pork bellies, a lemon sorbet palate cleanser, followed by - a crown roast of.
- Both: Pork? Yes, pork.
Now, you're probably wondering why my aunt loreta is in charge of this event, since her sense of organization is mostly limited to coordinating her shoes with her handbags? Well, that's because she happens to be dating.
Dr.
Raymond Fletcher one of Atlanta's most prominent plastic surgeons and president of the gourmet society.
Jill, sweetie, you're in charge of seating.
Here's a list of the invitees.
Now, officers on the dais, and please, sit Dr.
Fletcher in the center.
Right behind the pig's head? Exactly.
With an apple in his mouth? [Laughs.]
Naturally.
Dr.
Fletcher's or the pig's? Maurice? Huh?! Here are the wines.
Now, each course will be accompanied by a different wine.
Appetizers, white zinfandel, 58°, followed by a slightly chilled rose.
You know, maybe I've underestimated aunt loreta.
She's really got this down.
Somebody want to tell me what's going on here? Is there a problem? You bet there's a problem.
I just found out I'm supposed to cook an eight-course dinner before tomorrow night.
I sent you an email last week.
I don't read my emails, I don't text, I don't Skype.
I don't Google, and I don't tweet.
I'm in the kitchen.
You have something to say, come in and holler at me.
Well, there is the schedule, and I've calculated everything down to the last second.
Oh, have you? Have you?! And I'm supposed to clean, gut, trim, brine, marinate a whole pig and have it on the pit and cooking before I go to church tomorrow? No way, no how.
You know that there's a photographer and a reporter from food magazine flying in from New York to cover the event? Well I guess I can be a little late for church.
Yeah.
I've definitely underestimated aunt loreta.
Bill: Everybody in the kitchen now! Then again Maybe not.
What the hell is this? Yeah Come on, now All right now That's what I'm talking about All right You want to tell me how that pig got there? When I came in this morning, there was a delivery truck in the back, so I just told them they could drop it off.
You ordered a live pig? It's not my fault.
Why are you blaming me? All I did was order a whole pig to feed 75 people.
And it never occurred to you to specify whether you wanted it dead or alive? I've never ordered a pig before.
All right.
Well, I'll just have to call Bender's farm and tell them that we want them to take this one back and bring us one ready to cook.
Who did you deal with over there? Eddie.
It's ringing.
Why don't you ask for Eddie? Man on machine: You've reached Tim bender's pig farm.
Our offices are closed for the weekend.
Try back on Monday at 10:00 A.
M.
And remember, for pork that's juicy and tender, nothing beats a pig from bender.
Well, that's that.
Now what do we do? Well, we can't cancel the dinner.
Dr.
Fletcher would never forgive me.
Oh, here's an idea.
Why don't we call your Dr.
Fletcher, have him come over early and bring his scalpel? [Laughs.]
You're jealous.
You're jealous because I'm dating a plastic surgeon.
Oh, please! That overweight plastic surgeon? He needs to lop off some of his own self.
[Laughs.]
Hater! He's wide! Girls? Girls, please! Please, stop it now.
Bill, there's only one thing to do.
We have to take care of it ourselves.
You know we have to Keeh! Grandaddy, that pig is so cute! Could we let it out of the kitchen? Sure.
Ask Hector to let it out.
Yeah, ain't nothing like a free range pig.
Can I take it to the storage room and feed it? I bet it's hungry.
Tell Hector to take it to the storage room and give it some leftovers.
Maybe it'll eat aunt Gladys' okra.
Does it have a name? All: No! Bill: It doesn't have a name! Don't name it.
Nothing.
Last thing you want to do is name a pig you're about to kill.
That girl will never forgive you.
What do you mean, me? You know, I've got to go check on those seating arrangements.
I still have my flowers to do.
Hey, I'm a city boy.
I don't know nothing about killing no pig a.
T.
L.
Well, I sure ain't doing it.
I'm a chef, not a butcher.
Okay, I get it.
Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do.
You'd better do it fast, too, before that child gets attached to it.
I think it's sick.
Well, what would make you think the pig is sick? It won't eat.
I've never seen a pig that won't eat.
It's probably upset first time it's been away from home.
This is no summer camp.
Look at him.
Something's wrong.
Its eyes are red, its snout is dry.
And its brow's a little warm.
Don't you think its brow's warm? I am not feeling pig brow.
It's got a temperature of at least at least 102°.
Have you lost your mind? We both know there is nothing wrong with that pig.
But what if it is sick? We can't serve sick pig to people.
The girl's right.
We could get sued for every cent we have.
[Pig squeals.]
What are you doing? I'm taking him to see doc Griffin.
The veterinarian? Just to check and see, that's all.
Well, what happened to "a man got to do what a man got to do"? I can't see any harm in just checking to see.
Well, have him back by 11:30.
I've got marinating to do! Is that your pig? Whose pig do you think it is? Does it have a name? No.
No name.
How do you get it to come if it doesn't have a name? Good point.
I think you should name it myrtle.
Why myrtle? When I was little, I read a children's book about a pig named myrtle.
That looks like the pig in the book.
Well What makes you think this pig is a girl? I peeked.
Oh.
Mr.
Cooper? Uh, yeah.
Come on, myrt.
[Squawks.]
[Telephone rings.]
Belle's? Oh, hi, Raymond.
Loreta, how's it going? Uh, couldn't be better.
I meant, how's the dinner going? For two weeks now, that is all I can think about.
Yeah, me, too.
So, how's the pig look? Well, you know, pointy ears, big nose.
I mean, the weight.
It is going to have to feed a lot of hungry men.
Oh.
[Laughs.]
Well, offhand, I'd give it about 150 pounds, easy.
By the way, what are we going to do about all those ugly stray hairs? Well, I'm sure that aunt Gladys can figure something out.
Oh, no, I wasn't talking about the pig.
[Laughs.]
Oh, sorry.
Must've misunderstood.
And I hope you're keeping it on ice.
Ice? Oh, yes.
[Laughs.]
Of course.
The pig is on ice.
Where else would it be riding in a car all over town? See, the thing is, if you don't keep it on ice after you slaughter a pig, rigor mortis sets in and then you get the feet sticking out in all directions.
Oh, well, we certainly wouldn't want that, would we? And before you know it, there's the head, just looking over its own shoulder! Oh, that's not good, is it? No, indeed, it is not.
Why, it would take an hour just to straighten out its neck.
Uh.
Speaking of necks I was wondering, maybe we could do something with your neck.
Loreta? Yeah? [Laughs.]
Still here.
What about a big pair of sunglasses over the pig's eyes for when people have their pictures taken with it? [Laughs.]
Sounds hysterical.
I just thought of it! [Laughs.]
[Sighs.]
You know? I really want to do something with your breasts.
Just Sure.
Maybe after the banquet.
Uh, what did you just say? I'm feeling a little queasy right now, Raymond.
Is it okay if we talk about all this later? Okay.
Okay, bye.
[Sighs.]
Hey, doc.
Bill.
Bill, good to see you again.
How are you? And this would be? Uh, myrtle? Myrtle.
[Laughs.]
Hey there, girl.
Hey, I haven't seen you since we.
We had to put maxie to sleep.
Oh, great dog, maxie.
Well, he led a good and long life, thanks to you.
Now what seems to be the problem with myrtle? She won't eat, and I think she's a little feverish.
You know, I've never heard of a pig who won't eat.
That's exactly what I said.
[Both laughing.]
Let me take a look.
[Pig oinks.]
Don't get to see too many pigs, not since veterinary school.
Uh.
How long have you had her? Couple of hours.
Oh, I take it myrtle's not a pet? Uh She's tomorrow night's dinner.
Oh.
Oh.
The gourmet society is taking over the banquet room for a whole hog barbecue.
I didn't want to serve her if she was sick.
Well, from what I see, she's a perfectly healthy pig.
Well, don't you have to give her a complete examination? Bill, she's okay.
But you didn't even look at her.
I looked at her.
But but she didn't eat.
Bill, there's nothing wrong with this pig, trust me.
That's Good to know.
Look, doc I don't suppose you could give her one of those injections? My job is to keep animals alive.
But if you don't, then I'll have to I'm sorry, I can't help you there.
Sure, I understand.
Well how about some tranquilizers to calm the nerves? I never gave a pig a sedative before.
I meant for me.
Do we really have to gothrough this again? I need to make sure everyone is aware of the timetable for tomorrow night.
Now, guests arrive at 7:00, at 7:30, I take everyone into the parking lot so they can view the pig on the roaster.
Assuming there is a pig.
At 7:40, photo-ops with the pig.
Um, explain photo-ops? Well, Dr.
Fletcher said that all the members of the gourmet society like to have their picture taken with the whole pig, you know, before it's, well, hacked into little pieces.
Hey, Uncle bill's back from the vet.
Oh, great.
[Pig oinks.]
Atta girl, come on.
That's a good girl, come on.
Come on, come on.
Oh, that's a good girl.
Look at you.
[Laughs.]
Why didn't you bring it through the back? I didn't want her to see the pig roaster.
It's a girl? Yeah, her name's myrtle.
You named the pig?! Yes, and she comes when you call her.
[Laughs.]
Come here, girl.
Come here, that's a good girl! [Laughs.]
And she loves driving in the car.
She likes to stick her head out of the window, like old maxie used to do.
What did the vet say? She'll live.
You mean, she won't live? You know what I mean.
Okay, well, good.
There's nothing to worry about.
We're still on schedule.
Yeah I'll take her out to the storage room and Do what a man's got to do.
I know what I've got to do, okay?! Well, hurry up.
I need her marinating in two hours.
Come on, myrtle.
And, Gladys? I'll need you to fix a plate of Mac & cheese, cornbread, fried green tomatoes, and candied yams.
And for dessert A piece of that coconut cream layer cake.
Well, I see you're off your diet.
It's for myrtle.
Least we could do is give her a last meal.
What's next cigarette and blindfold? You like that cornbread, don't you? [Laughs.]
That was my wife Belle's recipe.
Best cornbread I ever had.
Anyone ever had.
Her secret ingredient was that grated cheddar cheese Gives it that special pop.
And for dessert coconut cream layer cake.
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
Don't beat yourself up about it, Uncle bill.
I understand, it was a tough decision.
Well, I have never felt so bad about anything.
It's all right, baby.
And if it's any comfort to you, I feel exactly the same way you do.
I hope I'm not ruining the suspense for anyone, but grandad didn't kill myrtle.
Well, I just got off the phone with Raymond Fletcher.
Dr.
Raymond Fletcher.
Right, Dr.
Raymond Fletcher.
Did he ask to speak to me? No, he did not.
Damn.
There goes my free nip and tuck.
He did say, however, even after I told him we would return the deposit, that they would be suing us for breach of contract, and as he put it, "within an inch of our lives"! What about food magazine? The reporters, the photographers, the since we called too late to cancel, we're going to have to pay for their airfare from new York to Atlanta and back.
Wow.
I've known you a lot of years, William Cooper, but this is the lowest stunt you've ever pulled.
How could you do this to me? The legal fees alone are going to cost us thousands.
And I was looking forward to them ribs.
Well, what happened to "a man got to do what a man got to do"? If it was so easy, why didn't you do it yourself? You had the means, the opportunity, and the motive.
And you! A lot of good you were.
"Oh, I'm a city boy.
I don't know nothing about killing no pig.
" And you.
The next time you order a hog on the phone, make sure it can't come when you call it.
If you notice, I don't take sides in family disputes, mostly because I've learned at times like these, grownups don't want to hear from sensible 11-year-olds.
The whole lot of you can wallow in self-pity all you like.
I am going where I can find a little piece and quiet and understanding.
Hi, grandpop.
Hey.
I knew I'd find you in here.
They still grouching that I let them down? Well, aunt loreta said she'll never, ever meet another man like Dr.
Fletcher.
Not 'til tomorrow, anyway.
Hi, myrtle.
Grandpop, do animals have souls? Hmm.
Well, it'll take a much smarter man than me to answer that one.
I do know this they feel things like we do.
Like what? Joy, contentment.
And fear.
You can sure see the fear in their eyes if you look hard enough.
Is that why you couldn't kill myrtle? Because you saw she was afraid? Mmhmm.
You see when God gave man dominion over every living thing that moves on earth, he meant that as some kind of trust.
He trusts us above all else not to be cruel to those we have power over.
You know, grandpop, if it means anything, I'm glad you couldn't kill myrtle.
It means everything in the world.
I have a feeling they're not taking her to the petting zoo.
I wish they were.
No, but they're taking her to a good farm.
Plenty of room to waddle around, good healthy food, no hormones or antibiotics.
And then what? Honey, she's a pig.
People love their pork.
And there's nothing you or I can ever do about that.
Wait, I forgot the cornbread.
Hold! [Pig snorts.]
Okay to go! So, you still want to be a vegetarian? I'm going to give it a try.
Well, that's something that everyone's got to decide for themselves.
Yeah.
But to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to kick bacon.
They're having what they call a "whole hog dinner.
" That's where they get to eat an entire barbecued pig.
And while I never thought of becoming a vegetarian before, this could be the meal that tips me in that direction.
Okay, everyone pay attention.
Now, here's the menu for tomorrow night's feast wedges of crispy pork skins, spare ribs with pineapples, pulled pork sliders, smothered pork chops, pork loin wrapped in pork bellies, a lemon sorbet palate cleanser, followed by - a crown roast of.
- Both: Pork? Yes, pork.
Now, you're probably wondering why my aunt loreta is in charge of this event, since her sense of organization is mostly limited to coordinating her shoes with her handbags? Well, that's because she happens to be dating.
Dr.
Raymond Fletcher one of Atlanta's most prominent plastic surgeons and president of the gourmet society.
Jill, sweetie, you're in charge of seating.
Here's a list of the invitees.
Now, officers on the dais, and please, sit Dr.
Fletcher in the center.
Right behind the pig's head? Exactly.
With an apple in his mouth? [Laughs.]
Naturally.
Dr.
Fletcher's or the pig's? Maurice? Huh?! Here are the wines.
Now, each course will be accompanied by a different wine.
Appetizers, white zinfandel, 58°, followed by a slightly chilled rose.
You know, maybe I've underestimated aunt loreta.
She's really got this down.
Somebody want to tell me what's going on here? Is there a problem? You bet there's a problem.
I just found out I'm supposed to cook an eight-course dinner before tomorrow night.
I sent you an email last week.
I don't read my emails, I don't text, I don't Skype.
I don't Google, and I don't tweet.
I'm in the kitchen.
You have something to say, come in and holler at me.
Well, there is the schedule, and I've calculated everything down to the last second.
Oh, have you? Have you?! And I'm supposed to clean, gut, trim, brine, marinate a whole pig and have it on the pit and cooking before I go to church tomorrow? No way, no how.
You know that there's a photographer and a reporter from food magazine flying in from New York to cover the event? Well I guess I can be a little late for church.
Yeah.
I've definitely underestimated aunt loreta.
Bill: Everybody in the kitchen now! Then again Maybe not.
What the hell is this? Yeah Come on, now All right now That's what I'm talking about All right You want to tell me how that pig got there? When I came in this morning, there was a delivery truck in the back, so I just told them they could drop it off.
You ordered a live pig? It's not my fault.
Why are you blaming me? All I did was order a whole pig to feed 75 people.
And it never occurred to you to specify whether you wanted it dead or alive? I've never ordered a pig before.
All right.
Well, I'll just have to call Bender's farm and tell them that we want them to take this one back and bring us one ready to cook.
Who did you deal with over there? Eddie.
It's ringing.
Why don't you ask for Eddie? Man on machine: You've reached Tim bender's pig farm.
Our offices are closed for the weekend.
Try back on Monday at 10:00 A.
M.
And remember, for pork that's juicy and tender, nothing beats a pig from bender.
Well, that's that.
Now what do we do? Well, we can't cancel the dinner.
Dr.
Fletcher would never forgive me.
Oh, here's an idea.
Why don't we call your Dr.
Fletcher, have him come over early and bring his scalpel? [Laughs.]
You're jealous.
You're jealous because I'm dating a plastic surgeon.
Oh, please! That overweight plastic surgeon? He needs to lop off some of his own self.
[Laughs.]
Hater! He's wide! Girls? Girls, please! Please, stop it now.
Bill, there's only one thing to do.
We have to take care of it ourselves.
You know we have to Keeh! Grandaddy, that pig is so cute! Could we let it out of the kitchen? Sure.
Ask Hector to let it out.
Yeah, ain't nothing like a free range pig.
Can I take it to the storage room and feed it? I bet it's hungry.
Tell Hector to take it to the storage room and give it some leftovers.
Maybe it'll eat aunt Gladys' okra.
Does it have a name? All: No! Bill: It doesn't have a name! Don't name it.
Nothing.
Last thing you want to do is name a pig you're about to kill.
That girl will never forgive you.
What do you mean, me? You know, I've got to go check on those seating arrangements.
I still have my flowers to do.
Hey, I'm a city boy.
I don't know nothing about killing no pig a.
T.
L.
Well, I sure ain't doing it.
I'm a chef, not a butcher.
Okay, I get it.
Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do.
You'd better do it fast, too, before that child gets attached to it.
I think it's sick.
Well, what would make you think the pig is sick? It won't eat.
I've never seen a pig that won't eat.
It's probably upset first time it's been away from home.
This is no summer camp.
Look at him.
Something's wrong.
Its eyes are red, its snout is dry.
And its brow's a little warm.
Don't you think its brow's warm? I am not feeling pig brow.
It's got a temperature of at least at least 102°.
Have you lost your mind? We both know there is nothing wrong with that pig.
But what if it is sick? We can't serve sick pig to people.
The girl's right.
We could get sued for every cent we have.
[Pig squeals.]
What are you doing? I'm taking him to see doc Griffin.
The veterinarian? Just to check and see, that's all.
Well, what happened to "a man got to do what a man got to do"? I can't see any harm in just checking to see.
Well, have him back by 11:30.
I've got marinating to do! Is that your pig? Whose pig do you think it is? Does it have a name? No.
No name.
How do you get it to come if it doesn't have a name? Good point.
I think you should name it myrtle.
Why myrtle? When I was little, I read a children's book about a pig named myrtle.
That looks like the pig in the book.
Well What makes you think this pig is a girl? I peeked.
Oh.
Mr.
Cooper? Uh, yeah.
Come on, myrt.
[Squawks.]
[Telephone rings.]
Belle's? Oh, hi, Raymond.
Loreta, how's it going? Uh, couldn't be better.
I meant, how's the dinner going? For two weeks now, that is all I can think about.
Yeah, me, too.
So, how's the pig look? Well, you know, pointy ears, big nose.
I mean, the weight.
It is going to have to feed a lot of hungry men.
Oh.
[Laughs.]
Well, offhand, I'd give it about 150 pounds, easy.
By the way, what are we going to do about all those ugly stray hairs? Well, I'm sure that aunt Gladys can figure something out.
Oh, no, I wasn't talking about the pig.
[Laughs.]
Oh, sorry.
Must've misunderstood.
And I hope you're keeping it on ice.
Ice? Oh, yes.
[Laughs.]
Of course.
The pig is on ice.
Where else would it be riding in a car all over town? See, the thing is, if you don't keep it on ice after you slaughter a pig, rigor mortis sets in and then you get the feet sticking out in all directions.
Oh, well, we certainly wouldn't want that, would we? And before you know it, there's the head, just looking over its own shoulder! Oh, that's not good, is it? No, indeed, it is not.
Why, it would take an hour just to straighten out its neck.
Uh.
Speaking of necks I was wondering, maybe we could do something with your neck.
Loreta? Yeah? [Laughs.]
Still here.
What about a big pair of sunglasses over the pig's eyes for when people have their pictures taken with it? [Laughs.]
Sounds hysterical.
I just thought of it! [Laughs.]
[Sighs.]
You know? I really want to do something with your breasts.
Just Sure.
Maybe after the banquet.
Uh, what did you just say? I'm feeling a little queasy right now, Raymond.
Is it okay if we talk about all this later? Okay.
Okay, bye.
[Sighs.]
Hey, doc.
Bill.
Bill, good to see you again.
How are you? And this would be? Uh, myrtle? Myrtle.
[Laughs.]
Hey there, girl.
Hey, I haven't seen you since we.
We had to put maxie to sleep.
Oh, great dog, maxie.
Well, he led a good and long life, thanks to you.
Now what seems to be the problem with myrtle? She won't eat, and I think she's a little feverish.
You know, I've never heard of a pig who won't eat.
That's exactly what I said.
[Both laughing.]
Let me take a look.
[Pig oinks.]
Don't get to see too many pigs, not since veterinary school.
Uh.
How long have you had her? Couple of hours.
Oh, I take it myrtle's not a pet? Uh She's tomorrow night's dinner.
Oh.
Oh.
The gourmet society is taking over the banquet room for a whole hog barbecue.
I didn't want to serve her if she was sick.
Well, from what I see, she's a perfectly healthy pig.
Well, don't you have to give her a complete examination? Bill, she's okay.
But you didn't even look at her.
I looked at her.
But but she didn't eat.
Bill, there's nothing wrong with this pig, trust me.
That's Good to know.
Look, doc I don't suppose you could give her one of those injections? My job is to keep animals alive.
But if you don't, then I'll have to I'm sorry, I can't help you there.
Sure, I understand.
Well how about some tranquilizers to calm the nerves? I never gave a pig a sedative before.
I meant for me.
Do we really have to gothrough this again? I need to make sure everyone is aware of the timetable for tomorrow night.
Now, guests arrive at 7:00, at 7:30, I take everyone into the parking lot so they can view the pig on the roaster.
Assuming there is a pig.
At 7:40, photo-ops with the pig.
Um, explain photo-ops? Well, Dr.
Fletcher said that all the members of the gourmet society like to have their picture taken with the whole pig, you know, before it's, well, hacked into little pieces.
Hey, Uncle bill's back from the vet.
Oh, great.
[Pig oinks.]
Atta girl, come on.
That's a good girl, come on.
Come on, come on.
Oh, that's a good girl.
Look at you.
[Laughs.]
Why didn't you bring it through the back? I didn't want her to see the pig roaster.
It's a girl? Yeah, her name's myrtle.
You named the pig?! Yes, and she comes when you call her.
[Laughs.]
Come here, girl.
Come here, that's a good girl! [Laughs.]
And she loves driving in the car.
She likes to stick her head out of the window, like old maxie used to do.
What did the vet say? She'll live.
You mean, she won't live? You know what I mean.
Okay, well, good.
There's nothing to worry about.
We're still on schedule.
Yeah I'll take her out to the storage room and Do what a man's got to do.
I know what I've got to do, okay?! Well, hurry up.
I need her marinating in two hours.
Come on, myrtle.
And, Gladys? I'll need you to fix a plate of Mac & cheese, cornbread, fried green tomatoes, and candied yams.
And for dessert A piece of that coconut cream layer cake.
Well, I see you're off your diet.
It's for myrtle.
Least we could do is give her a last meal.
What's next cigarette and blindfold? You like that cornbread, don't you? [Laughs.]
That was my wife Belle's recipe.
Best cornbread I ever had.
Anyone ever had.
Her secret ingredient was that grated cheddar cheese Gives it that special pop.
And for dessert coconut cream layer cake.
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
Don't beat yourself up about it, Uncle bill.
I understand, it was a tough decision.
Well, I have never felt so bad about anything.
It's all right, baby.
And if it's any comfort to you, I feel exactly the same way you do.
I hope I'm not ruining the suspense for anyone, but grandad didn't kill myrtle.
Well, I just got off the phone with Raymond Fletcher.
Dr.
Raymond Fletcher.
Right, Dr.
Raymond Fletcher.
Did he ask to speak to me? No, he did not.
Damn.
There goes my free nip and tuck.
He did say, however, even after I told him we would return the deposit, that they would be suing us for breach of contract, and as he put it, "within an inch of our lives"! What about food magazine? The reporters, the photographers, the since we called too late to cancel, we're going to have to pay for their airfare from new York to Atlanta and back.
Wow.
I've known you a lot of years, William Cooper, but this is the lowest stunt you've ever pulled.
How could you do this to me? The legal fees alone are going to cost us thousands.
And I was looking forward to them ribs.
Well, what happened to "a man got to do what a man got to do"? If it was so easy, why didn't you do it yourself? You had the means, the opportunity, and the motive.
And you! A lot of good you were.
"Oh, I'm a city boy.
I don't know nothing about killing no pig.
" And you.
The next time you order a hog on the phone, make sure it can't come when you call it.
If you notice, I don't take sides in family disputes, mostly because I've learned at times like these, grownups don't want to hear from sensible 11-year-olds.
The whole lot of you can wallow in self-pity all you like.
I am going where I can find a little piece and quiet and understanding.
Hi, grandpop.
Hey.
I knew I'd find you in here.
They still grouching that I let them down? Well, aunt loreta said she'll never, ever meet another man like Dr.
Fletcher.
Not 'til tomorrow, anyway.
Hi, myrtle.
Grandpop, do animals have souls? Hmm.
Well, it'll take a much smarter man than me to answer that one.
I do know this they feel things like we do.
Like what? Joy, contentment.
And fear.
You can sure see the fear in their eyes if you look hard enough.
Is that why you couldn't kill myrtle? Because you saw she was afraid? Mmhmm.
You see when God gave man dominion over every living thing that moves on earth, he meant that as some kind of trust.
He trusts us above all else not to be cruel to those we have power over.
You know, grandpop, if it means anything, I'm glad you couldn't kill myrtle.
It means everything in the world.
I have a feeling they're not taking her to the petting zoo.
I wish they were.
No, but they're taking her to a good farm.
Plenty of room to waddle around, good healthy food, no hormones or antibiotics.
And then what? Honey, she's a pig.
People love their pork.
And there's nothing you or I can ever do about that.
Wait, I forgot the cornbread.
Hold! [Pig snorts.]
Okay to go! So, you still want to be a vegetarian? I'm going to give it a try.
Well, that's something that everyone's got to decide for themselves.
Yeah.
But to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to kick bacon.