Breadwinners (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

2 [Ducks quacking.]
Both: buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread, flying quazy 'cause we can quazy, quazy [Ducks quack.]
Quazy 'cause we can - Swaysway! - Buhdeuce! - Do a barrel roll, man! Whoo-hoo! Both: buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread, flying quazy 'cause we can Booty kick it, party punch it shake your feathers, make your pants dance - Look out, we're gonna crash-land! [Thrilling music.]
[Engine puttering.]
- Wahh! [Ding.]
[Quacks.]
- Whoo-hoo-hoo! We are up to our brains in grains! - Yip, yip! [Both chomping.]
Yeah.
- So, my feathered friend, how many deliveries we got today? - 1 million! - [Laughs.]
Butter my buns, son! The most we've ever done in a single day is 999,999.
- Then let's break this record! Hoo-wah! - Okay, buhdeuce, listen up.
If we're gonna break this riduckulous record, we gotta stay focused.
We gotta fly fast, we gotta-- - pay attention to where we're flying? - Yeah! We gotta pay a-- ahhh! Nice place you got here.
[Descending whistle.]
[Crash.]
- [Quacks.]
[Engine starts.]
- Uh, I think it's busted.
- Nah, it just needs a little love.
Don't you, baby? Okay, maybe it is busted.
- Aw, bubble nuggets! We'll never break our record now.
- Relax, man! Remember rule number one of being a breadwinner? - Mmm, never eat your eyeballs? - No.
Rule number one is breadwinners always deliver.
Although sometimes they need a little help from their mechanic.
[Hard rock music.]
Thanks, tow duck.
- [Chomps.]
- Giddyup! Both: Hey, ketta.
- Hey, swaysway.
Hey, buhdeuce.
Oh! Hey, busted-up rocket van.
[Gasps.]
Aw, lug nuts.
What happened? - Well, if I recall correctly, we were just flying around, minding our own business when, bam! A building comes out of nowhere and-- - you crashed it, huh? - Technically, yes.
But it was for a good reason.
We're trying to break our record for most deliveries in a day.
- Can you help us fix the rocket van? Say yes, or I'll punch myself! - Not only can I fix it, I'll make it faster! [Dubstep music.]
[Wheels screech.]
There you go.
The rocket van is now 100 times more rocket-y.
- Wow.
- Come on! Let's deliver some dough, yo! [Engine starts.]
[Jets firing.]
- Just remember, go easy on the throttle! - Got it.
Going full throttle.
- [Coughs.]
So that's how burnt toast feels.
[Horn honking.]
[Quacking.]
All: [Quack.]
Both: Whoa! - Yeah! We'll break this record in no time.
Look how fast those deliveries are racking up.
- Yeah.
Too fast! [Both screaming.]
[Ominous music.]
[Suspenseful chord.]
- I think we're out of gas.
- I think I'm out of clean underwear.
[Descending whistle.]
- Hoo! That was awesome.
- Yeah, ketta.
You got any other unsafe ideas? - I sure do! [Dubstep music.]
[Wheels screech.]
Gentlebaps, say hello to the 10,000 duckpower, turbo-charged, high-suction, diesel-electric bread sprinklernator [Deep breath.]
3,000! - Just one question.
Wha? - Trust me.
You'll loaf it.
[Upbeat music.]
- We're gonna break our record for sure.
- Why break our record when we can shatter it? Lieutenant deuceski, increase the sprink-tensity! - Yippity-yip! Uh, Booty kick! [Frantic music.]
[Quacking.]
- [Quacks angrily.]
- Too much suckulation.
Turn it off! - I'm trying, I'm trying.
Both: Whoa, whoa, whoa! - [Quacks.]
[Crash, glass breaks.]
[Both grunting.]
- [Sighs.]
If we're gonna break our record, we need to move twice as fast.
[Wheels screech.]
- Then you're gonna need twice the manpower.
[Dubstep music.]
Allow me to introduce you to Sway3po and b2d2.
Both: Whoa! - Your identical twin robot autopilots! - Get some bread up in your beak.
- Yip, yip.
Both: Whoa! - I programmed them to be exactly like you.
Watch.
- [Farts.]
- Oh.
It's like looking in a mirror.
- Okay.
If you really are exactly like us, then what's rule number one of being a breadwinner? - That is easy sauce.
Breadwinners always deliver.
- These guys rock! - Yeah, boy.
All: P-p-p-p-party punch! - Next delivery, 34 quackapoo road.
- At 59 degrees, north by northwest.
- Roger that.
[Upbeat rock.]
- Wow! You guys are good.
And handsome, I might add.
- Attention, baps.
Deliveries ahead.
[Quacking.]
[Quacking.]
- The situation is under control.
You two can take a break now.
- Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! - We're gonna break this record without even lifting a feather.
- Yip, yip! [Short-circuiting.]
- [Laughing.]
All right! What do you wanna do first on our break? - Uh, smell each other's armpits? - Help me.
- Oh! On second thought, let's go back to delivering bread.
[Bots blip.]
Hey, breadbots, we got bored in the back.
We'll take a turn up here.
- Not necessary.
- Wow! You guys are dedicated.
- Dedicated to replacing you.
- Say what now? - You two are obsolete.
- Hey, stop using big words I don't understand, b2d2.
- Maybe you will understand this.
Booty kick! - Hey! Let us out! - We are trying to deliver bread up in here.
Be quiet.
- Yeah? Why don't you make us? - Okay.
Initiate barrel roll.
- Wait! No! I take that back.
[Yipping, hollering.]
- How many deliveries do we have left in order to break the record? - Just one more.
Destination ketta.
- This is wrong.
We're the real breadwinners.
We gotta get outta here and break our record.
- Yeah! Rule number one don't say nothing about breadbots always deliver.
- It's time to kick some ro-butt! Party punch! - You going down, robo-clowns.
[Thrilling music.]
- Get over here.
[Vintage video game music.]
- Egg blast! - Egg blast! - Shoe attack! - Shoe attack.
- Booty kick! Booty kick! Booty kick! Booty kick! Booty, Booty, Booty! BootyKick.
- Booty kick.
- Hold up.
If we're all up here, then who's flying this thing? - I don't know.
Nobody.
[Both screaming.]
Breadbots: Frightened scream! [Wheels screech.]
- Let me guess.
The robots tried to replace you.
IProbably should've mentioned that might happen.
Classic ketta.
Honk! - Anything else you forgot to mention? [Robotic sounds.]
Both: Initiating extermination mode.
- OhThere's that.
[Screaming.]
- We can't beat them.
Fighting them is like fighting ourselves, except they never run out of Booty kicks.
[Deflating.]
- Well, I did program them to be just like you.
- Yo-reka! That's it! [Excited typing.]
- Meh, we are receiving an order.
It's for one loaf of bubblegum rye to The center of that volcano.
- No way, that is quazy.
- Uh, uh, uh! Rule number one.
- Breadwinners always deliver.
Both: Breadwinners always deliver.
Breadwinners always deliver.
Breadwinners - Wow.
It's so pretty.
- I believe this order is for you.
- Why, thanks, guys.
[Beeping.]
- Oh, oh, oh, yeah! Record, you have been officially broken.
All: P-p-p-p-party Punch! [Heavy metal music.]
- We're coming in hot! - Oh, boy! [Wheels screech.]
- SoWhat kinda bread should we mine today? Bubblegum rye? Ooh! Holy wheat? Candy cane multigrain? That bread over there covered in horrible gunk? - [Gags.]
Sick! That's major mold.
- [Heaving.]
I think I'm gonna [Puking.]
- Yo, let's ditch this nasty bread and mine some of the good stuff.
- Yip, yip.
[Both scream.]
[Both scream.]
[Both scream.]
The mold! It's spreading like quazy! - So not cool.
These bread mines are like our home.
They're our business.
And no one comes into our house and gets up in our business! - So what do we do? - I'm glad you axed.
[Both screaming.]
[Both grunting.]
[Both panting.]
- Well, that worked not at all.
- Aw, crummers.
We're no match for this mold.
It's time to bust out the big buns.
Both: rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-do oh, mighty bread maker, we summon you - Ooh, yeah! It is I, the breadmak-- - yo! We got mold.
- Fix it now, please! - Hmm.
I'm afraid this is not just mold, amigos.
It's chronic mold, and it will keep spreading through the bread mines until every last crumb of my righteous bread is destroyed.
Both: [Gasp.]
No! Anything but that! - If that happens there won't be any bread left to deliver to all the hungry beaks of the world.
- Yeah! Like my hungry beak.
I can't live without bread, especially not jelly-filled alfalfa, or bubblegum rye.
Ooh, huckleberry spaghetti.
That stuff is great with the noodles and What were we talking about again? - The mold, man.
It's gonna wipe out all the bread.
And without any bread to deliver, we'll have no purpose in life! No purpose! - Oh, my bap, there's gotta be a way to stop it.
Tell us there's a way to stop it, bread maker! Tell us! - There is only one way.
[Farts.]
Hoo-wah! [Grunting.]
BeholdThe emerald loaf! Both: Whoa.
- It's beautiful.
- It's magical.
- Only the emerald loaf can rid these mines of the chronic mold.
But it can only be removed from that wall by true breadwinners.
- Well, not to brag, but I happen to come from a long line of breadwinners.
My parents were breadwinners.
My grandparents were breadwinners.
My great-grandparents were breadwinners.
My great-great-grandparents were in the circus.
[Whispering.]
We don't talk about them.
But my great-great-great- grandparents, also breadwinners.
- And I'm a breadwinner too, first generation.
- Right on, little bros.
The fate of this entire crust-aceous planet rests in your hands.
[Both gasp.]
Good luck, my ducks.
And p.
S.
Don't blow it.
- [Sighs.]
Piece of cake.
I just pull it out, do whatever you do, and bingo, mold-o is gone-o! [Spits.]
[Struggling.]
- Do it, do it, do it, sway d-o I-tT, yay! - [Struggling.]
- Get yourself together, bap.
Break time is over.
[Grunts.]
- Oh, yeah! It's on! - You can do it, don't you quit you can do it, yip, yip, yip yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip Goooooo - [Grunts.]
- Team.
- I don't get it.
I'm a true breadwinner, I-- I gotta be.
- Maybe the emerald loaf needs a more gentle approach.
Let me try a bit of the old bersukovich charm.
[Soft violin music.]
More tea? So, emerald loaf, I'm so glad you could join me.
Don't tell the other loaves I said this, but you've got a great crust.
Do you work out? Hey! I've got a great idea.
Why don't you, like, come out of that silly wall for me? Aw, don't be shy.
I warmed up this chair just for you.
[Grunting.]
Get out of that wall, you stupid loaf! Ooh! [Ominous music.]
- No more loafing around, b.
The mold is spreading.
It's time to Both: L-l-l-l-level up! Bodybuilder ducks! [Hard rock music.]
- Ha, ha! [Exhales.]
Emerald loaf! You're coming out now! Ooh, ooh, ooh! [Grunting.]
- Yeah! Come on, bap! You've got this.
- [Grunts.]
I've got this! - Are you a true breadwinner? - I am [Grunts.]
A true breadwinner! Ow! Gah! My arms.
L-l-lLevel down.
- [Farts.]
Ah, bubble nuggets! That loaf just won't budge.
- Oh, it'll budge.
[Giggles.]
We just need a little extra fire power.
[Hard rock music.]
[Crazy laugh.]
You're coming out now, emerald loaf.
Oh, yeah! [Engine revving.]
[Glass breaking.]
Ah, featherlicker.
[Splash.]
- Are you sure this is a good idea? - Ha, it's the greatest idea ever, my dear bap! [Crazed laugh.]
- Swaysway, you're going quayquay! - [Crazed laugh.]
Quayquay.
[Laughing.]
That's a good one.
You might wanna cover your ears.
What am I doing wrong? Why won't the emerald loaf come out? - The bread maker said the emerald loaf can only be removed by true breadwinners.
- True breadwinners Breadwin-ners Ners.
Ners! That's it! True breadwinners work together! My parents and grandparents had each other, and I've got you, buhdeuce! - Aww.
You're making me blush.
- Okay, we're a team, and a team would grab hold of the loaf and pull it together, like this.
- Do you really think that would work? - [Sighs.]
I have no idea.
But we have to try! Come on, help me pull.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Yeah! - Where the true breadwinners at? Right here, that's where! - Okay, now what? - Wait.
Oh, shh, shh, shh.
I hear something.
- [Roars.]
Both: Ahhhh! - [Chomping.]
- Look at that thing eat! Both: eat! Eat! Eat! Eat that mold, you quazy beast! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat that mold, bon appetit! Both: Whoa! - The chronic mold is gone! - About time! Now we can finally get back to doing what we do best-- shoving bread in our beaks.
[Chomping.]
[Both sigh.]
- Well done, breadheads.
You saved the planet, along with all my righteous bread.
- Aw, yeah! It's the yeast we could do, yo! - You two truly are the truest of all true breadwinners.
- Yip, yip! True dat.
- True dat.
All: P-p-p-p-party punch! - Until next time, amigos.
Peace! [Video game sounds.]
- Welp, that all wrapped up rather nicely.
[Rumbling.]
- [Growling.]
- Uh, I think it's still hungry! - Whoa! Emerald loaf, baby.
We're green ducks, not green mold! - [Growling.]
- Ahh! It can't tell the difference! - Then there's only one thing left for a pair of true breadwinners to do in a situation like this.
Run! [Thrilling music.]
Exploding barley bread! The emerald loaf doesn't stand a chance.
[Grunts.]
- Still standing! [Screams.]
And biting! Ahhh! - [Panting.]
Whoa! This oily oat bread should slow that thing's roll.
[Laughing.]
Done and done! - [Roaring.]
Both: Whoa! The crystal crust cavern! [Ding.]
- Hey, sway, check out my reflection.
Looking good.
- Reflection, huh? That's it! I know what to do! - [Growling.]
- [Whistles.]
Yo, loaf! We're over here! - Come and get us, crumb bag.
- [Growling.]
Both: Psyyyyych! - You want to eat us just because we're green like mold? Well, you know who else is green? - You, big boy.
Check yourself out! - [Snarling.]
- Oh, yeah.
Go ahead, have a taste.
- Fresh pepper? Say when.
- [Slurping.]
Ah! [Chomping.]
[Burps.]
- Hoo-hoo! Take that, emerald loaf! - You got served! To yourself! Ha, we served you to yourself.
- You helped us, magical emerald, but then you tried to destroy us.
- Don't worry, sway, it'll never hurt us again! Hoo-wah! Ugh! Delivering bread in a rocket van my name is swaysway and this buhdeuce - yip yip.
- Yeah.
Duck party! Get Jimmy quackers in here I'm a duck, he's a duck quack quack wiki-quack quack a duck [scatting.]
Both: rocket van