Brews Brothers (2020) s01e04 Episode Script

[Sarah]
This is what I call skill, concentration
- and finesse, baby! Ha ha!
- [Chuy] Nice.
- I think you cheated, but nice.
- [Sarah] Moment of truth.
[laughs] Yes!
- All right, here we go. Here we go.
- [Sarah] Don't fuck it up.
[blowing]
- I'm just being encouraging.
- That's not encouraging at all. Oh, oh.
- Yes!
- [Adam yells] It's ready! It's ready!
- [Sarah shouts]
- [Wilhelm] Come on!
My truffle-infused pilsner is now ready.
Drumroll, please!
- What's a truffle anyway?
- You don't know what a truffle is?
Wow, you really are a kid.
It's a mushroom.
Nope. Adam says they're both fungi,
but mushrooms grow above the ground,
and truffles are subterranean.
It's probably why they smell
even more like ass.
[laughs]
- I thought you liked the smell.
- I do.
- Bow down before your king.
- Ew.
Why are you wearing that?
- This?
- [Sarah] Yes.
- 'Cause I'm BK.
- Buzzkill.
- No, "Beer King."
- Uh-huh.
The king of beers.
Oh, like Budweiser.
What's Budweiser
have to do with the king of beers?
Yeah. What?
To Rodman's!
Our brewery is killing it,
and in a wonderful piece of news,
our sweet, sweet beer king
is moving out and getting
his own place.
- Yay!
- [Adam] Well, just down the street.
I can't stand to be
more than a stone's throw away
from my precious masterpieces.
Relax. I still live here.
Yeah. Exactly.
- W-Wow! Wow!
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God, Adam,
that mushroom beer is tremendous.
I agree with everything
other than calling it mushrooms.
- Truffles are not mushrooms.
- Mmm. Ass.
Mmm! This could really sell.
And I don't even like mushrooms.
[laughs] Truffles are not mushrooms
- To mushrooms!
- To mushrooms!
Morons.
Just wish it wasn't so expensive to brew.
We'd have to charge a hundred bucks
a bottle just to break even.
That is too expensive for a growler!
I'm talking about one
of these little howlers.
For a growler, it'll be, like, ooh
a lot.
No, no, Adam,
we need to make affordable beer.
No, we need to make premium beer.
If people have to sell their kidney
or get their Camaro repossessed, so be it.
Truffles cost what truffles cost.
Oh, back at the monastery in Belgium,
I used to live with a monk
who sold truffles
as a side hustle for cheap.
His name was Trüffelschwein.
"Truffle" for short.
If he's the Costco of truffles,
we could use him. You should reach out.
Oh, no,
I-I-I don't think I should do that.
- You should!
- [Sarah] Yes.
Trüffelschwein must come here.
Your king decrees it.
- Hear, hear.
- [Adam] I'll get my truffles,
and I'll have someone I can talk to
who understands the brewing process.
Other than Chuy.
[gulps]
Oh, sorry.
I owe you 100 bucks.
- It's on the house.
- [Chuy] Tight.
Oh, I do know a guy who sells kidneys,
if that helps.
Also, I, uh, have sold a kidney before,
if that helps.
Respect.
[theme music playing]
[bottle pops open]
[Wilhelm sighs, in German] Damn, Oxy.
[in English] Here's all your shit.
You have got to be the first person
to bounce a rent check
because of truffles.
If you'd gotten Trüffelschwein
to discount the truffles,
we wouldn't have this problem.
Forget about the monks.
Focus on finding your own place to live,
because you are done living in my room.
Plus, I am sick of your weird
sideburn shavings all over the floor.
They're side-thigh shavings,
thank you very much. Get the monks here.
I would love to have the monks come
bless the brewery, but I can't ask.
They've already done so much for me.
Very true. The lessons they've taught you
on abstaining from sex,
you followed religiously.
Check out the shower. Oh!
Okay, I know I kicked you out of my room,
but you can still use my bathroom.
I've got everything I need back here,
okay?
And besides, the tank shower has
better water pressure than your bathroom.
Yeah, because we use it
to spray-clean the tanks.
- Where are you gonna go to the bathroom?
- [Adam] I'm fine here.
The water pressure is good for everything.
- Everything.
- [groans]
If the bright tank can empty out here,
so can I.
I'm talking about pooping.
You know, a little poop-poop,
grate-grate, sprit-sprit.
You know what?
Let's keep a little mystery.
Now, please get out of my room.
We don't have a Clapper, dude.
What's a Clapper?
I command you to turn off the light.
- Are you mad at me?
- [Wilhelm] Yes!
Since Adam lost his place,
any chance you might be able
to take him in while he's saving up
enough money to get his own spot?
Oh, man, I would,
but I just got a third roommate,
and I'm only supposed to have one.
And that one's supposed to be human,
you know?
- I don't
- The monks are coming! ♪
The monks are coming! ♪
Die Mönche kommen?
Mm-hmm. I didn't even have to tell them
that you were dying.
You're shitting me.
I shit you not. Look, I was just angling
to get Trüffelschwein here,
but it turns out the monks were already
planning a trip to the States.
- Wait, really? Why?
- [Adam] To visit, like
St. Joseph's Abbey!
They've always wanted to go.
It's the only Trappist brewery
outside of Europe.
Fantastic.
Well, they'll bless this brewery,
and more importantly,
they'll give me my truffles.
Cue the Truffle Shuffle.
- Oh! I like it.
- Nice!
- Tight, tight, tight, tight
- [Adam grunting]
- [Chuy] Yeah.
- No. Fuck it, I'm going to college.
- Sarah, the monks are coming.
- [Sarah] What?
- Really?
- [Wilhelm] Yeah.
Friar Lucas, you're gonna get
to see your family again.
- Friar, you're gonna see your family. Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, that's something we can advertise.
Let's figure out a way to use this.
I cannot wait to pick the brains
of those holy beer-making geniuses.
No one brews better beer than the monks,
but I don't think
you're gonna be able to keep up.
Just 'cause their knowledge
was wasted on you
does not mean
it will be wasted on me.
Recall: supercomputer,
Tamagotchi key chain pooing all day long.
- Besserwisser.
- "Know-it-all." I knew that.
Okay, easy, lovers.
We should be able to make bank off this.
What other brewery
has this kind of connection
to actual Trappist monks?
Great idea. We'll wear monk robes
and make it a whole Belgian-themed night.
We'll call it "Trappist Thursday."
Ooh, horrible name.
They're coming on a Monday.
Okay, we'll call it
"Maasmechelen Monday."
It's named after a small town in Belgium
just south of Gruitrode en Neerglabbeek.
I love that place.
- [Wilhelm] Chuy, you've been?
- Idiots! "Monk Monday."
Not as catchy,
- but yeah, I could get on board with that.
- [Chuy] I don't care what we call it,
as long as I get to wear
one of those robes.
Okay, we got a lot of prep to do.
You guys take care
of the Belgian beer and food.
I can get puntzak friet.
It's a cone of French fries
with mayonnaise in it. So good.
[Sarah] Great.
Chuy and I will get the robes.
We'll turn this place into an abbey,
and we'll get Friar Lucas a spa.
God, he smells like skunked beer.
Yeah, that's what he likes to bathe in.
Okay, come on, Chuy, let's go.
Whoa. You threw a lot of stuff out there.
I'm not gonna remember all that.
That's okay. That's why it's going up
on the board.
- No. Not the penis. The penis is full.
- [Sarah] There's room on the side scrotum.
- [Wilhelm] I love the penis.
- [Adam] It's a work of art.
Now it's really gonna look like my penis.
You're gonna have to color that purple.
You really need to get that checked.
I know.
Here we go.
Gonna get you a spa day. You stink.
[doorbell chimes]
- [gasps] Well, hello.
- [Sarah] Hi.
Lovely meeting you.
And such a pretty coat.
Oh, thank you so much.
- I got it at a consignment sto
- [Livia] So pretty.
You're talking to Friar Lucas.
So pretty, isn't he?
Yeah. Well, as you can see,
we have a full house.
But you're gonna have so much fun
meeting new friends.
- So, should I show you around?
- [laughs]
Oh, now you're talking to me.
Uh, sorry. Um, you know what?
- I'm actually okay out here.
- [cats meowing]
I thought you only did dogs.
I'm really allergic to cats.
It's okay, sweetie, I keep 'em separate.
So just the bath and an overnight?
Oh, no, the Friar's pretty ratty here.
Give him the works.
The bath, haircut, teeth.
You might as well finger him
in the keister.
Express the anal gland.
Oh, yeah, if he likes it, that too.
Go to town. No judgment.
Do you have his food?
Yeah. Here it is.
[laughs] Oh, I-I have plenty of water.
Oh, no. It's not water.
And he doesn't like to share.
Keep it cold.
- Bye, Friar. Have fun.
- [Friar Lucas whines]
Things are coming together, you guys.
I got the robes,
and the pub is gonna look
like an abbey soon,
and Chuy surprisingly has been
handing out fliers.
You know, I think we may have
a crowd for this.
Do you think we should have someone
work the door?
Will?
Hello?
[water running]
Hello?
Anybody [screams]
Will? Sarah?
I can't tell. Your screams are identical.
- Oh, hey, Sarah.
- Why aren't you covering yourself up?
You don't know how to brew beer,
so your opinion's inconsequential to me.
No offense.
You have got to get your own place, okay?
And
dicks aren't supposed to bend that way.
You don't like the candy cane?
Very weird people here. I miss Portland.
Have you spoken to the monks?
They got to the abbey in Massachusetts.
- I haven't been in touch with them since.
- Maybe their flight's delayed.
Nope. Landed in LA this morning.
They probably saw Van Nuys
and then realized God is dead.
Do we cancel? No, we can't cancel.
I bought like $500 worth
of fries and mayo.
I bought $500 worth
of fries and mayo.
Why did I buy $500 worth
of fries and mayo?
Stop saying "fries and mayo"!
What will we do
with so much fries and mayo?
- Stop!
- Scheiße!
Presenting an actually clean dog.
Look at him, he puts you guys to shame.
- [Adam] Look!
- [Wilhelm] What's up?
Hey, nice bandanna, buddy.
Aw, looks like they got off all the fleas
Will gave you, huh?
- [growls]
- [Adam] Kidding.
I don't blame you. If someone expressed
my anal glands, I would growl.
Wow! The pub looks like an abbey.
- I did most of it.
- Mostly me.
- Is that a Bible?
- Yeah, kind of. This has all the answers.
- To what?
- Everything.
- What?
- This is my book of beer recipes.
Tonight, before the festivities begin,
I plan to read just, like,
50 or 70 of 'em.
And BK Adam is back.
- Maybe we won't need a bouncer.
- [Wilhelm] We have bigger fish to fry.
I haven't been able to get in touch
with the monks. They flaked.
We can't get a refund.
Monk Monday is happening,
with or without those monks.
Okay. We gotta figure out a solution.
Brainstorm. Go.
No, no,
we are not burning down the brewery.
What? I was gonna light my pipe,
but you might be onto something.
Maybe we can hire actors
to play monks and bless the brewery.
- No one will know the difference.
- She's right. We should burn it down.
Do you think we can get actors in time?
Yeah. It's LA. Everyone's an actor.
Plus, I have extra robes.
They have to be really convincing.
If anyone knows they're fake,
they'll think the entire brewery is fake,
and we are screwed.
How about I tell them it's an audition
for a movie,
and the only way they'll get the part is
if they stay in character the whole night?
- That's really good. I like it.
- [laughs, sniffs] Do I smell smoke?
No, Adam, Adam,
don't burn this place down.
I live here, Adam!
- [barks]
- [Sarah] Oh, you must be thirsty, Friar.
Thank you for using your words.
Come get your beer.
Come on, Friar. Come on!
Don't you want your beer?
Here you go. Yeah.
Why aren't you drinking?
[dog growls]
What? Are you on the wagon?
Hey, I support your decision.
Hello. Thank you guys so much for coming.
I'm not a monk.
- [crowd murmuring]
- [chuckles] Hello. Not a monk.
- Hi, thank you for coming.
- [Wilhelm] Stop smelling the candles.
- [Chuy] They're cold.
- They're not lit.
- [Sarah] Any word?
- [Wilhelm] Nein.
What about the actor monks?
Did you find any?
I got tons, but I told them auditions
won't start for another hour.
Ewww! Why are you naked under that?
Oh, yeah, that's the hot hole, Sar-bear.
It's the reason why I wanted to wear one
of these things. It's so freeing.
The monks still aren't here. Do you think
we can stall for a couple hours?
- We have fries and beer. We'll be fine.
- All right.
Oh, hey, look,
those customers dressed up, too.
Those aren't customers.
[in German] They're my friends!
[in English] Brother Thomas!
[laughs, in German] My child!
[in English] You came!
Ah, you probably thought
we weren't coming, yes?
That was my idea, little Säugling!
We wanted you to become nervous
so you'd think we weren't coming. Ha ha!
- [kisses]
- I did become nervous.
- Oh, successful prank!
- [laughing]
Well, it is an honor to have you
in my brewery,
and I would love to introduce you
to my brewery family.
- [chuckling] Hi.
- This is Sarah.
Oh, we are so pleased to meet you,
young man.
In Belgium, "Sarah" is girl's name.
"Sarah" is a girl's name here, too,
Brother Thomas.
In America, women are actually allowed
to make beer.
- Wonderful!
- This is very progressive.
- [laughs] This is Chuy.
- Uh, Reverend Chuy.
I'm also ordained.
Weddings, baptisms, circumcisions.
Eh.
Hey. Excuse me. Hi, hi. Welcome.
Hi. Thank you so much
for blessing the brewery
and sharing your divine wisdom with us.
My brother and I are eternally grateful.
- Who is this guy?
- I don't know.
Und you must be Adam. [laughs]
Brother Wilhelm has spoken
so highly of you at the monastery.
Uh
- Has he?
- [monk] Yes!
We hear you're quite the Braumeister.
We couldn't be happier
that you two have reunited.
And you get to make beer
with your brother,
as we make beers with our brothers.
- What a blessing.
- [laughs]
Und it must fill you with such joy.
[both] Yeah.
[Adam] Do you have my truffles?
- Oh!
- [Truffle] This is for you.
[Adam] Exquisite.
[both sniff]
And when can I expect the rest
of my order, Brother Truffle?
When the time is right, you will know.
I love that.
Well, it would be an honor
to have you taste some of my Belgian ales.
A little tour?
Oh, ho ho ho.
[monks chanting in Latin]
Thank you, everyone,
for coming to Rodman's.
And welcome to Maasmechelen Monday!
I mean, Monk Monday.
- [cheering]
- It's not as good, and you know it.
I have had the privilege
of living with these wonderful monks
in the Belgian Abbey
of St. Vincent de Marco.
And tonight is your opportunity
to live and drink like them, too.
Father Thomas.
[chanting in Latin]
I have some questions
I wanted to ask you, if that's okay.
- Okay.
- [Adam] Have you ever considered
using American Citra hop
instead of Tettnanger?
I know it's not a noble,
but this last crop was sublime.
- Well
- And I have been dying to know,
what is the level of carbonation
for your bottle-conditioned ales?
I think I speak for all my brothers
when I say
we could discuss these topics right now,
or
we could use this time
to get fucked up!
[cheering]
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Hey, I didn't get a stein.
Did you get a stein?
- [shouts]
- Whoo! [laughing]
- I'm getting more. Let's see you drink!
- [monk] Yeah!
[chanting] Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
- [cheering]
- Drink! Drink! Drink!
This is bad.
- I don't understand.
- This is what I was trying to tell you.
I just couldn't do it anymore.
What? Devote yourself to God and celibacy?
What? No, I couldn't keep up with this.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
We can refill your steins.
Get it, you little boozy piggy! Ha ha!
Heretics! If you chug it,
you can't even taste the beer.
You might as well be drinking
Amstel Light!
- Oh, they don't care.
- Don't say that.
[in German] Yes, brother.
[in English]
Come drink my Stiefel with me! Mmm!
Yes, now go, Brother Wilhelm! Yes!
Yes, go deep! Go deep! Go deep!
Drop it into your gullet!
Yes, touch that heel.
- [sighs]
- Mmm!
No. You let that touch your mouth?
I wouldn't let that touch my foot.
Uh, Brother Wilhelm, a question.
Is this your brother,
or is this a tiny, little doody
you squirted out?
- Oh! One of Brother Truffle's zingers!
- [shouts gibberish]
Yeah! What, we do it! Yes!
- God is great! Fuck yeah!
- [cheering]
Chug! Yeah!
- [Adam] Why are they acting like savages?
- Done it!
- [Truffle chanting] Jesus juice
- It must be you.
You're a bad influence.
They're trying to show off
in front of you.
- [belches]
- [Adam groans]
- Nailed it.
- [in Italian accent] Cicerone!
Oh, and this shit, too?
No, no, no, I'm gone.
[in Italian accent] Cicerone!
[cheering]
[Adam] It's pronounced "cicerone"!
Hey, how's it going?
- Killing it. We've kicked the blonde.
- [Wilhelm] Oh, shit.
I'll go swap it out. Give me a hand?
Oh, I don't know, man.
What? Everything okay?
[sighs] My nut jacket.
I'm chafing big time, bro.
I should've worn underwear.
Need to borrow a pair of yours again.
[groans]
- "Again"?
- What?
What?
Your Tripel is stupendous,
Brother Wilhelm.
Säugling, it tastes like home.
You have no idea how much that means,
coming from you.
We will bless the brewery very soon.
But first, we must ask you.
What has happened
to our beloved Friar Lucas?
- [Wilhelm] What do you mean?
- He doesn't remember us
Not drinking beer
Und he doesn't hump anymore.
Hump, Lucas, hump!
- Hump! Come on, boy! Hump, Lucas! Hump!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Holy of holies, he's doing
the one trick that I taught him!
[monk] Go, Friar Lucas, go!
[slurping] Oh! He's doing it, the sucking.
Yes. Oh, a little extra credit.
Now he's teaching me.
Student, meet teacher. [laughs]
Your advice for replicating the wild yeast
from the Zenne Valley
for my lambic is genius.
And your truffle beer is masterful.
Earthy and, uh,
it has a flash of fruity esters
and a satisfying finish
that teases you to take another sip.
- [laughs]
- Ja. You're an excellent Braumeister.
- [Thomas] Mmm.
- Thank you, Brothers, so much.
You know, I, like you, have committed
my whole life to brewing.
Let me ask you something, though.
That insane debauchery out there,
that was you guys putting on a show
for Wilhelm, right?
We do enjoy celebrating God's gift of ale.
We always wait
until after the work has been put in.
[Adam] Yes!
Because there's nothing more important
than the brewing.
This is exactly what I needed to hear.
I already know so, so much,
and yet I wanna learn more.
Please, teach me everything.
You want to be initiated?
Yes! By the masters! [chuckles]
You are certain?
Absolutely certain.
Please, give it all to me.
I didn't think he was ready.
- He said he was ready.
- If he's ready, he's ready.
- Bring out the waterpijp!
- [laughing]
[Truffle] Yeah!
Oh, my God, an original 17th-century
French oak stirring paddle.
[singing in Latin]
I'm touching history.
And history is about to touch you back.
[Adam chuckles] Oh, oh! Hey!
Help Help me!
That's the spirit, Adam!
Soon, you will be Brother Adam!
- [laughing]
- Amen!
- [dance music playing]
- [chattering]
What's up, Friar Lucas?
You used to be the life of the party.
What's wrong tonight, buddy?
Can we get some more pitchers
and glasses?
- Hey, Sarah.
- Yeah.
I think I figured out why Friar Lucas
isn't humping anything anymore.
- Why?
- He has a vagina.
What did the groomers do to him?
They didn't give him a vagina,
if that's what you're asking.
I was not asking if the dog groomer
gave him a vagina.
Maybe I picked up the wrong dog.
I picked up the wrong kid
from school before.
What do you mean "wrong kid"?
You don't have kids. Any kid is wrong.
Yeah, I know that now.
Okay, I'll fix this. Come here, Friar.
Ooh! Oh! Who are you?
[Wilhelm] Why were you at a school?
[Adam grunting]
[monk] You are becoming one of us!
Let the Holy Spirit fill you up!
Hey, my brother's getting initiated!
[Truffle] From my cheeks to your cheeks
- [Thomas] Tradition.
- I'm passing all of my knowledge
onto you,
as well as a little bit of lunch.
[monk] We had sauerkraut.
- [Adam gags]
- [Truffle] Really swallow it! Swallow it!
He knows way more about beer
than I ever will.
[Truffle] Don't giggle, just swallow.
- Anus domini, brother!
- [Adam gags]
Emphasis on the "anus."
- [gags]
- [monk] He's taking it like a champion.
[Thomas] Keep that mouth open.
- [Truffle] I see him changing, brothers.
- [Thomas] He's changing.
[chimes play]
It's beautiful.
Yes,
and it came directly from my buttocks.
- [Adam] Ah.
- [Chuy] Oh, man.
I think I did my Confirmation all wrong.
- You took the wrong dog!
- [dog growls]
No, lady, you gave me the wrong dog.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Maisel.
You're safe now.
All right, go, go!
- Your dog is the devil.
- [cats meowing]
And he drank all my wine!
Yeah, well, the Friar's a sucker
for cheap Chardonnay!
- I live alone!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- [Friar Lucas growls]
- [screaming]
- Heel! Heel!
- [cat screeches]
[screams in slow motion]
- [grunts]
- [cat yowls]
- [Livia] Get off my cat!
- [grunts]
- [groans]
- You almost killed Joy Behar!
Who names their cat "Joy Behar"?
- I told you I live alone.
- No. I'm allergic to cats.
[groans] Do you have an EpiPen?
- You know what?
- Help me!
- [Livia] Take your dog and go.
- I need an EpiPen.
Come on. No, I don't have
You need to leave!
[Sarah] Come on, Friar, we're not welcome.
- [Livia] Karma!
- I need an EpiPen!
- [dance music playing]
- [chattering]
What a great night.
Now that I've Aquaphor'd my sack,
things are really looking up.
Ooh, I should invent Sackquaphor.
Just keep my underwear.
I already put 'em back.
- What?
- What?
Brother Wilhelm, we are ready
to bless the brewery whenever you are.
Although Brother Adam may need
some additional time
to recuperate from his initiation.
[Adam shudders]
- [Wilhelm] I remember being like that.
- [Thomas] I remember you like that.
[hisses]
It's a lot to take in.
- [Wilhelm] I don't think I hissed.
- [Thomas] You did.
[in German accent] Wilhelm. Ha ha.
Ah, is that you, Wilhelm?
My old my old monastery friend.
So, we finally made it.
Uh, sorry, our flight
from the monastery was delayed
from Antwerp, Belgium.
[Russian accent]
So let us waste no more time
and bless this wonderful brewery
- like monks.
- Yes, which we are! Hello!
[cheering]
What is going on, Brother Wilhelm?
I'll take care of it.
Hi. You're the actors
that Sarah forgot to cancel, right?
We are not actors.
- We're real monks.
- No, you're clearly actors,
because you have garbage accents.
He's doing a weird Russian thing,
and you're kind of all over the place.
[Irish accent] What in Angela's Ashes
are you talking about?
There! That was Lucky Charms.
Look, I appreciate you guys coming,
but we don't need you anymore. Thank you.
Okay, he's testing us. What do we do?
- We stay in character.
- Right.
[in exaggerated accent] All right,
who's ready to bless this brewery, huh?
[cheering]
You cannot bless this brewery!
And why not?
Because
you are not real monks!
A real monk
would never say something so blasphemous!
It is a sin to lie.
Hey, fellas, look.
He's a monk. You're a monk. I'm a monk.
Let's all just, like, monk it up. Cool?
Do you know what else is a sin?
- Hmm.
- This.
[screaming]
[groans]
Oopsie and daisy!
- So it's an action film.
- Oh, my God!
[Wilhelm] No, no. Guys!
- Monk attack!
- [shouting]
- [Wilhelm] Please, no fighting!
- [customers screaming]
[grunts]
Hey, guys, stop! Please stop fighting.
No, please, stop.
This is Maasmechelen Monday.
Monk Monday. Whatever you wanna call it.
Come on, guys!
This is all part of the show.
It's not real. [laughs]
- [grunting]
- [shouting]
Nice! Ooh, tight, tight.
[grunting]
Yeah! [cackles]
[chokes]
Hey, don't get it in my beer!
Where's my recipe book?
No, no, no! Wait!
I need that book, you animals!
You are a dead man!
- You don't do that to my brother.
- [Adam] Oh! My nose!
[laughs]
Adam! Who did that to my brother?
- [Wilhelm screams]
- [groans] Fuck.
- [clamoring]
- Okay, sir, I need that glass
Oh, no, ma'am, this cup is seven dollars.
Move! I have to get my EpiPen!
[bouncer] Whoa, Quasimodo!
Quasimodo!
- Out of my way!
- ID! ID!
- I need your ID.
- It's me. Sarah.
I hired you!
Oh, ho,
you are way too drunk to come in here.
- [shouts]
- [bouncer grunting]
Come on, Friar, let's get my EpiPen.
Come here, you
No, relax, okay? We don't have to fight.
Everyone just be cool, okay?
You were good,
just not what we were looking for.
Look, everyone got the part.
Everyone got it, yeah?
- There was no movie, was there?
- [Wilhelm] Uh
- [Sarah] Will!
- Sarah?
- I'll save you! [screaming]
- [Wilhelm shouts]
[shouting]
God! Whatever happened to her ear spread
to her face!
That boy Sarah can really fight!
- [continues screaming]
- [man] Go for it, go!
You want a piece of me?
No one wants a piece of any of this.
[Wilhelm] Oh, my God, Sarah!
You're amazing!
[grunts]
Face still looks like a baboon butt.
[Thomas] You are a monk now,
Sarah! [shouts]
I'll vanquish the mutant!
[Thomas] No, Truffle, she's one of us now!
- [Sarah shouts]
- Ow!
[Sarah grunting, panting]
- No! [shouting in pain]
- [Sarah] Take that!
[grunting]
[grunts, sighs]
[Sarah whimpers]
- Oh, my God!
- [laughing]
That's where my truffles came from?
How do you think I got them
through customs?
- Respect.
- [barks]
- [Wilhelm] No, Friar, no! No!
- [shouting]
Oh!
- [monk] He's back!
- That's our dog!
This brewery is blessed!
[theme music playing]
[beer cracks open]