Bunnicula (2016) s01e04 Episode Script
Alligator Tears
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNARLING)
(LAUGHING)
(GIGGLING)
Oh, man, these
ducks are crazy!
Hey, duck brother.
-Hey, man.
-Check out this bread.
(QUACKS) I love
to eat the bread.
(WAILING)
God.
I feel so sad all of a sudden.
(SOBBING)
What the
(PURRING)
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
Okay, okay, okay.
This bread is awesome!
Must be teenage hormones.
(HUMMING)
(WAILING)
Oh! I spilled some milk.
(LAUGHING)
(SOBBING)
I'm always making mistakes!
(WAILING)
(SOBBING)
(SOBBING) Who am I kidding?
Nothing can stop
the onset of gingivitis.
I don't even have teeth.
(ALL SOBBING)
Right there.
Right to the left.
(SIGHING)
Oh, that felt good.
(SIGHS) That made me thirsty.
Ugh. No, Harold.
You have a water
bowl downstairs.
There's no need
for you to stick
your face in the toilet.
(WAILING)
Do you know
what toilets are for?
Do you want everyone to think
you're a savage beast?
(SOBBING)
You think I'm a savage beast!
Whoa! That must
have struck a nerve.
I've never seen
Harold cry before.
(RUMBLING)
Why do I have
to be so critical?
Ah!
(WAILING)
Ah.
Alligator in the bathroom!
Alligator, alligator
Bathroom.
Harold. There's an alligator,
in the bathroom!
-(GASPS)
-What are you doing?
I'm using my tears to make mud
and I'm sculpting
the mud into clothes
to make me look
more civimalized.
But even in this
gentleman's attire,
I still look like
a savage beast!
-(SOBBING)
-Hey, what's that?
I don't know what it is,
but it's beautiful.
I'll use it as my
gentleman's broach.
Um, Harold.
It's actually a fishing lure.
Even with all
this fancy attire,
I'm still
just an uncivilized dog.
I'm just a pig!
Get a hold of yourself,
Chester. (SOBBING)
The sun is setting.
Bunnicula.
He'll help me
with this alligator.
(SOBBING)
Psst. Hey, Bunnicula.
-Wake up!
-(GROWLING)
-Ah!
-Oh. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) Hi.
You've gotta help me.
There's a ghost alligator
in the house!
-Ha!
-I'm glad that excites you.
Oh, golly.
(SOBBING)
Oh, this is bad.
Bunnicula.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(WAILING)
-Hmm. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-Bunnicula, we gotta hurry.
We're going to drown
in our tears. (SOBBING)
(GROANS) This is clearly
caused by something
supernatural.
Ah! A-ha!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(RUMBLING)
(WAILING)
Well, hello there,
little bunny.
Will you be able to help
a big old alligator
like myself?
You see,
this is my favorite
dangly earring.
The one that goes
on this side of my head
got sucked
down the drain. (SOBBING)
And without the pair,
I'm just a big old,
ugly alligator.
I've been traveling
all through this
apartment's plumbing
looking frantically
for my other shiny earring.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SOBBING) Thank you,
honey-child.
Oh, my gosh!
That's the same fishing lure
Harold was wearing.
It's like they're
two halves of the same whole,
never to be reunited.
(SOBBING)
Unless, I mean,
we take it away from Harold,
but, well, he hates
me enough already.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
You think you can help me?
-Ew!
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I don't know if I'm crying
out of sadness
or terror anymore.
(SOBBING)
Oh, I've cried myself thirsty
and I'm going to drink
right from this toilet,
because I'm a savage beast!
(SOBBING)
(GASPS) Oh!
I'm hideous!
I'm a monster!
Who could ever love
a three-eyed dog?
I'm running away from home.
Goodbye, house.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Hey!
(SADLY) I never wanted
to drown in my own tears.
But I really didn't want
to drown in anyone else's. Oh!
-(SOBBING)
-Harold?
-(SOBBING)
-Wherefore art thou, Harold?
I knew it, he hates my guts.
(GASPS) He ran away.
Harold!
Harold, I'm sorry!
(SOBBING)
I'm a monster.
This is my new home.
TED'S WIFE: Ted, what's
going on out there?
Uh, um, there's
a really big dog
and he seems to be crying.
Well, tell him
to keep it down!
Um, hey, my wife, she would
like it if you could keep it,
like, down, you know,
quieter cry.
-Sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
(WHISPERS) I'll cry quieter.
Wah.
TED'S WIFE: Tell him, quieter!
Harold, where are you?
Harold!
Ah!
-Huh.
-Hey, little rabbit.
-(GROWLING)
-Where do you think
you're going?
-(GROWLING)
-Your friend stole
our garbage can.
You know what we do to animals
that steal our garbage cans?
-Nah.
-(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(PANTING)
Ah!
(SCREAMING)
Harold? Harold!
It's me, Chester!
-(SOBBING) Huh?
-Hi.
Bunnic Whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, honey.
I scared the dog away.
TED'S WIFE: (STERNLY) Good!
Now get in here
and rub my feet!
Harold, help!
Harold, help, I can't swim!
Hold on!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I know what to do.
I saw this on TV once.
-(BLOWING)
-(AIR WHEEZING OUT)
Chester! Speak to me, Chester!
Harold, you saved me.
I almost drowned.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
You should really be careful
the next time you
go swimming, okay?
I wasn't swimming, Harold.
-I was looking for you.
-You were?
Why?
I'm just a big,
dumb savage beast
with a hideous third eye.
-What?
-(SOBBING) No, no.
I belong under that bridge.
No, no, you're not a monster.
You're my best friend.
But I treat you
like a monster because
I'm an insensitive dirt bag.
Oh, man. I love dirt.
But it doesn't mean
that I don't love you.
Even though
you're a messy eater,
and you smell,
and you bark at nothing.
And I got too many eyes.
Whatever, Harold, whatever.
You're like
the brother I never had,
except for the six or seven
other brothers that
I actually have.
Without you, I'm incomplete.
Like a half sandwich?
Mmm-hmm.
-Okay, I'll go home. (SOBBING)
-Okay.
I love you guys so much!
Okay, buddy.
Let's go home.
(SOBBING) I'll never find
my beautiful earring.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
What? (GASPS)
My earring!
(WATER DRAINING)
Oh, my gosh.
I've stopped crying!
Hurray! It's over!
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
Huh? Why was I so sad?
Wow.
Newspaper comics have
gotten really depressing.
Oh, in all my years!
I am beautiful again.
Oh, however can
I thank you boys?
You never needed the earrings.
You were always beautiful.
Aw, you think I'm beautiful?
Yup, and I'm so glad you came
out of our beautiful toilet.
But wait,
I don't know how
to get back to the bayou.
(SOBBING)
Oh, what ever can I do?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Whoo!
Ooh, ooh, ow!
Well, this is the way
to the bayou.
Bye-bye.
Way to flush away
sadness, Bunnicula.
-Now everything can
finally get back to normal.
-Yeah.
Let's have a mega-big,
super hug.
Ew, no! I said back to normal.
-Now go clean yourself up,
you big, muddy goon.
-Okay. You got it.
(SLURPING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNARLING)
(LAUGHING)
(GIGGLING)
Oh, man, these
ducks are crazy!
Hey, duck brother.
-Hey, man.
-Check out this bread.
(QUACKS) I love
to eat the bread.
(WAILING)
God.
I feel so sad all of a sudden.
(SOBBING)
What the
(PURRING)
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
Okay, okay, okay.
This bread is awesome!
Must be teenage hormones.
(HUMMING)
(WAILING)
Oh! I spilled some milk.
(LAUGHING)
(SOBBING)
I'm always making mistakes!
(WAILING)
(SOBBING)
(SOBBING) Who am I kidding?
Nothing can stop
the onset of gingivitis.
I don't even have teeth.
(ALL SOBBING)
Right there.
Right to the left.
(SIGHING)
Oh, that felt good.
(SIGHS) That made me thirsty.
Ugh. No, Harold.
You have a water
bowl downstairs.
There's no need
for you to stick
your face in the toilet.
(WAILING)
Do you know
what toilets are for?
Do you want everyone to think
you're a savage beast?
(SOBBING)
You think I'm a savage beast!
Whoa! That must
have struck a nerve.
I've never seen
Harold cry before.
(RUMBLING)
Why do I have
to be so critical?
Ah!
(WAILING)
Ah.
Alligator in the bathroom!
Alligator, alligator
Bathroom.
Harold. There's an alligator,
in the bathroom!
-(GASPS)
-What are you doing?
I'm using my tears to make mud
and I'm sculpting
the mud into clothes
to make me look
more civimalized.
But even in this
gentleman's attire,
I still look like
a savage beast!
-(SOBBING)
-Hey, what's that?
I don't know what it is,
but it's beautiful.
I'll use it as my
gentleman's broach.
Um, Harold.
It's actually a fishing lure.
Even with all
this fancy attire,
I'm still
just an uncivilized dog.
I'm just a pig!
Get a hold of yourself,
Chester. (SOBBING)
The sun is setting.
Bunnicula.
He'll help me
with this alligator.
(SOBBING)
Psst. Hey, Bunnicula.
-Wake up!
-(GROWLING)
-Ah!
-Oh. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) Hi.
You've gotta help me.
There's a ghost alligator
in the house!
-Ha!
-I'm glad that excites you.
Oh, golly.
(SOBBING)
Oh, this is bad.
Bunnicula.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(WAILING)
-Hmm. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-Bunnicula, we gotta hurry.
We're going to drown
in our tears. (SOBBING)
(GROANS) This is clearly
caused by something
supernatural.
Ah! A-ha!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(RUMBLING)
(WAILING)
Well, hello there,
little bunny.
Will you be able to help
a big old alligator
like myself?
You see,
this is my favorite
dangly earring.
The one that goes
on this side of my head
got sucked
down the drain. (SOBBING)
And without the pair,
I'm just a big old,
ugly alligator.
I've been traveling
all through this
apartment's plumbing
looking frantically
for my other shiny earring.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SOBBING) Thank you,
honey-child.
Oh, my gosh!
That's the same fishing lure
Harold was wearing.
It's like they're
two halves of the same whole,
never to be reunited.
(SOBBING)
Unless, I mean,
we take it away from Harold,
but, well, he hates
me enough already.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
You think you can help me?
-Ew!
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I don't know if I'm crying
out of sadness
or terror anymore.
(SOBBING)
Oh, I've cried myself thirsty
and I'm going to drink
right from this toilet,
because I'm a savage beast!
(SOBBING)
(GASPS) Oh!
I'm hideous!
I'm a monster!
Who could ever love
a three-eyed dog?
I'm running away from home.
Goodbye, house.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Hey!
(SADLY) I never wanted
to drown in my own tears.
But I really didn't want
to drown in anyone else's. Oh!
-(SOBBING)
-Harold?
-(SOBBING)
-Wherefore art thou, Harold?
I knew it, he hates my guts.
(GASPS) He ran away.
Harold!
Harold, I'm sorry!
(SOBBING)
I'm a monster.
This is my new home.
TED'S WIFE: Ted, what's
going on out there?
Uh, um, there's
a really big dog
and he seems to be crying.
Well, tell him
to keep it down!
Um, hey, my wife, she would
like it if you could keep it,
like, down, you know,
quieter cry.
-Sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
(WHISPERS) I'll cry quieter.
Wah.
TED'S WIFE: Tell him, quieter!
Harold, where are you?
Harold!
Ah!
-Huh.
-Hey, little rabbit.
-(GROWLING)
-Where do you think
you're going?
-(GROWLING)
-Your friend stole
our garbage can.
You know what we do to animals
that steal our garbage cans?
-Nah.
-(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(PANTING)
Ah!
(SCREAMING)
Harold? Harold!
It's me, Chester!
-(SOBBING) Huh?
-Hi.
Bunnic Whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, honey.
I scared the dog away.
TED'S WIFE: (STERNLY) Good!
Now get in here
and rub my feet!
Harold, help!
Harold, help, I can't swim!
Hold on!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I know what to do.
I saw this on TV once.
-(BLOWING)
-(AIR WHEEZING OUT)
Chester! Speak to me, Chester!
Harold, you saved me.
I almost drowned.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
You should really be careful
the next time you
go swimming, okay?
I wasn't swimming, Harold.
-I was looking for you.
-You were?
Why?
I'm just a big,
dumb savage beast
with a hideous third eye.
-What?
-(SOBBING) No, no.
I belong under that bridge.
No, no, you're not a monster.
You're my best friend.
But I treat you
like a monster because
I'm an insensitive dirt bag.
Oh, man. I love dirt.
But it doesn't mean
that I don't love you.
Even though
you're a messy eater,
and you smell,
and you bark at nothing.
And I got too many eyes.
Whatever, Harold, whatever.
You're like
the brother I never had,
except for the six or seven
other brothers that
I actually have.
Without you, I'm incomplete.
Like a half sandwich?
Mmm-hmm.
-Okay, I'll go home. (SOBBING)
-Okay.
I love you guys so much!
Okay, buddy.
Let's go home.
(SOBBING) I'll never find
my beautiful earring.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
What? (GASPS)
My earring!
(WATER DRAINING)
Oh, my gosh.
I've stopped crying!
Hurray! It's over!
(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)
Huh? Why was I so sad?
Wow.
Newspaper comics have
gotten really depressing.
Oh, in all my years!
I am beautiful again.
Oh, however can
I thank you boys?
You never needed the earrings.
You were always beautiful.
Aw, you think I'm beautiful?
Yup, and I'm so glad you came
out of our beautiful toilet.
But wait,
I don't know how
to get back to the bayou.
(SOBBING)
Oh, what ever can I do?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Whoo!
Ooh, ooh, ow!
Well, this is the way
to the bayou.
Bye-bye.
Way to flush away
sadness, Bunnicula.
-Now everything can
finally get back to normal.
-Yeah.
Let's have a mega-big,
super hug.
Ew, no! I said back to normal.
-Now go clean yourself up,
you big, muddy goon.
-Okay. You got it.
(SLURPING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)