CHiPs (1977) s01e04 Episode Script

Hey, Ponch.
Hey, Ponch, don't take it so hard.
What? Oh, I'm sorry.
Look, Getraer comes down on everybody once in a while.
Yeah, but sometimes I think I should have been a plumber or a TV repairman.
You're just in a slump.
You'll get your activity together.
I hope so.
Before Getraer decides to put me on permanent probation.
Hey, do you know how much a plumber makes? Sounds like he needs a tune-up.
Yeah, I hope that's all.
You thinking what I'm thinking? Right.
Hold it up there, Buick.
Hold up.
Slow down and stay behind us.
Stay behind us.
Here he comes.
Jon, look, the red car.
Yeah, it's gonna be tight.
Come on, come on.
You can do it.
That's a baby.
Okay, let's move.
Fall in with the flow.
Mister, you all right? Hey, you okay? I think so.
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
Please get me out of here.
Oh, yes, yes.
It's okay.
Just take it easy now.
Oh, I don't believe it.
My first solo flight and I run out of gas.
You saved me.
I thought it was over.
It's all right, it could've happened to anybody.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry, officer.
I shouldn't have been up in this stupid plane.
- Sorry I caused all this trouble.
I wish - Relax.
Please, just take it easy.
There's no citation.
Hey, you're really terrific.
It's just my nature.
I bet you're a very important man on the force.
I mean, you're so professional.
Are you a lieutenant? - Well, not exactly.
But I'm working on - I know you're a sergeant.
- Well, I'm afraid - How is she? She's fine.
Baricza and Fritz, they took care of the snarl.
Oh, yes.
He works with me and he does a fine job.
This is Officer Jon Baker.
You can advise Central that everything's under control.
Yes, sir.
- As I was saying, why? - I'm feeling a little weak.
Maybe we could talk about this over dinner.
Hey, that's a good idea.
You're really something.
What are you gonna be next week, a captain? Depends on the girl.
Attention, all units: Be on the lookout for an all-white 1965 bus with lettering on the rear reading "First Baptist Church.
" Vehicle is a stolen out of Wilshire division.
Hey, that's the one down the street from Central.
Who'd want to steal that old wreck? You got me.
The last time I saw it the wheels were ready to fall off.
I bet old Rev.
Goldstein's so mad he's talking to the devil.
Hey, Ponch.
That's it.
That's it.
The stolen bus.
I don't believe it.
Yeah, a whole half a block from Central.
Not exactly a hot roller.
This is amazing.
- We never found a stolen - Do you have a mouse in your pocket? Partner, good friend, old buddy.
This is what I needed.
That slump in my activity? I'm saved.
- Ponch, look.
Technically, I have - I'll write all the reports today.
- And tomorrow? - The rest of the week.
It's yours.
I think I'll call for backup.
Spice things up a little for Getraer.
Put out a Code 20, maybe get a news team out here.
Ponch, how about just calling it in, okay? Okay, thanks.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 4.
I have located the stolen bus on Oak Street just south of Washington Blvd.
Vehicle is abandoned.
I'll give the old man at the bus stop a check-in to see if he's seen anything.
Hey, did you see a bus go by? No.
Well, finding that bus is going to make Getraer a happy man.
And me a hero.
Close.
Hi, sarge.
Hi, Frank.
How's it going? Great, sarge.
Glad to hear it.
I'll have the report on that bus in about five minutes.
Good.
Good.
Hey, quick energy.
And indigestion.
Something you want to tell me? Oh, yeah, Frank.
Reverend Goldstein wanted me to express to you his appreciation for your speedy recovery of the bus.
I've got to admit, Frank.
I'm surprised it was you and not Jon.
Well, hey, we all have our days, you know.
I bet you're probably sorry for the way you came down on me this morning.
Yeah, Frank, I am.
I know how you could make it up to me, sarge.
How, Frank? It's yours.
Francis Poncherello, California Highway Patrol Officer.
Officer? I thought you were a sergeant.
Well, not exactly Actually, you You led me to believe you were a sergeant.
- Well, what's the difference? - Forget it.
I can't believe I am going to a restaurant in a camper.
- We're going to a restaurant, aren't we? - Yeah, and a good one too.
And everybody knows this is a motor home, not a camper.
Could have fooled me.
Looks more like a locker room.
Yeah, I know, but I'm really into sports, all right? Well, I wish you were really into driving because you just changed lanes without signaling.
No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
Not only are you a lousy driver, but you'll probably just flash your badge and get out of paying the ticket.
I won't need to because I did not break the law.
- Good evening, officer.
- Good evening.
Sir, you made an unsafe lane change back there.
Excuse me, I think you're mistaken.
You see May I see your driver's license and registration? But you can't You can't, officer.
You see, I checked the traffic.
- I was - Yes.
You forgot your directional.
I told you so.
Now if you'll just sign here.
Signing is not an admission of guilt, but your promise to appear in court.
I know, I know.
Please drive safely, sir, and watch yourself merging back into traffic.
Oh, Getraer will kill me when he finds out.
Who's Getraer? He's the sergeant.
Hey, this is a switch, you getting here before me.
Oh, that's right, you got the afternoon off.
Comp time.
You want to get an early start? No.
I couldn't sleep last night.
I got a Oh, yeah, how was your date? She could've kept that plane in the air with her mouth.
It works at 6000 rpm's.
I'm sorry, Ponch.
Hey, Jon, is there something wrong with the way I live? Why do you say that? Well, you're never in trouble and I always am.
Come on.
You we were the one that found the bus.
That was yesterday.
You see, I got a I don't believe it.
Oh, she's gonna skin me alive for sure.
I've been late since the day I was born.
L.
A.
7 Mary 3 and 4.
We are now in pursuit.
Eastbound on the Pomona Freeway.
Oh, chips.
Man, I know I'm gonna be late now.
I'm gonna be real late now.
I ain't gonna stop.
Come on, baby, give it to me now.
You got to give it to me now.
You have got to go.
I'm gonna lose my license.
Judge told me don't come down there no more.
All them tickets.
Why did I get all those tickets? Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They got me now.
No more driving, no more license.
I'm sorry, little car, but I am mad.
Broke my car.
I'm gonna get another ticket.
- Mama's gonna kill me.
- Excuse me, sir.
- I've had it.
- Do you mind stepping out? Step out.
I am really mad.
Mama would say, "Don't be mad.
" But I'm mad anyway.
May I see your license and registration? I lose my temper.
I lose my license.
Same gig.
Driver's license and registration.
I told Mama I was gonna be home for dinner.
Here I am stopped on a highway.
Mess around with this What am I gonna do? I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Messing around here all the time.
Messing around.
What's that yo-yo think he's doing? I think we got a 5150, Ponch.
Yeah, he's about three quarts low.
Do you think he heard what I called him? I wanna know how he got in that car.
I don't know.
I wish he'd just get back in there.
- I'll call for backup.
- Why? We don't need it.
You crazy? That guy could wipe out the front line of the Dallas Cowboys.
We need backup.
Ponch, there's no law against destroying your own property.
The only thing we have him for is speeding and maybe littering.
Hold this a minute.
I got something in my eye.
Get it out.
I don't wanna stand here by myself.
You find this amusing? Who, me? Oh, no.
Not at all, sir.
- You got something for me to sign? - Yes, sir.
Just sign at the bottom here at the box and we won't detain you any longer, sir.
Thank you.
This one is for mama.
This one's for the judge.
Mama.
Judge.
- No license.
- Hey, he's got my pen.
Yeah, well, pens are replaceable.
Now what am I gonna tell mama? Better call Einhorn Tow.
Yeah.
Tell them to bring a shovel.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3.
There's nowhere like the Mexican Alps for this kind of food.
Yeah.
Look, I gotta talk to you I told her to hold the secret sauce.
I think I'm in big trouble.
I got this I always wondered why they call the sauce secret.
I made this unsafe lane change.
A 215, me.
It's no secret to me.
This is 20-weight motor oil.
Getraer'll kill me if he finds out.
This is it.
I'm taking it back.
This is not what I asked for.
Will you listen to me? I got a ticket last night.
Ponch that's not very cool.
No kidding, Cisco.
What am I gonna do? I don't know, I'll work it out.
What? How? Go to driving school.
That way the ticket doesn't go on your record and Getraer doesn't find out about it.
Driving school? Are you crazy? People I ticket go there.
And what's more, the instructors are CHP-retired officers.
Getraer knows them all.
I tell you what.
For the price of another burrito, I can work it out.
- Okay.
- Why don't you run down to the store Hey, one of you guys Officer Baker? - What? - Officer Baker.
- Yeah, why? - You got a phone call.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Hello, this is Baker.
What? Okay.
- I got it.
- I'm sorry, Jon but you're the best man for these calls.
I understand.
Okay.
Okay.
Thank you.
What's the matter? Accident call.
Hey, you can handle it.
Yeah.
- Now you finish your sandwich.
- Okay.
Mrs.
Karantz? - Yes.
- May we come in? Yes.
Is something wrong? Sarah? My name is Jon Baker.
I'm from the california Highway Patrol.
And I brought your neighbor over here because I've something important to talk to you about.
Perhaps we could sit down somewhere.
Oh, sure.
Thank you.
Now, what's wrong? I mean, there's something wrong.
It's Jerry.
My husband, Jerry.
There's been an accident in Bakersfield.
Oh, my God.
Involving three people, including your husband.
I'm afraid your husband Is he all right? I mean, is he hurt? Badly? He died on the way to the hospital.
No.
No.
It can't be.
I asked Mrs.
Wilner to contact your doctor and tell him to come over.
- Lf there's anything else we can do - But he We just spoke last night.
Are you sure it was Jerry? Are you? Ma'am, I wish there was some way that Or something Daddy, Daddy.
Excuse me.
Quiet down, please.
The film tonight is on intersections and right-of-way collisions.
Pay attention, please, because there will be a quiz following.
What are you in here for? Unsafe lane change.
I'm in for a 21805-c.
- A what? - Riding my horse on the freeway.
- That's not so bad.
- Oh, I know that.
But then I got cited for a 23112-B.
Right on the freeway? That's right.
My horse wouldn't wait until I got back to the stable.
Now that's bad.
You know, that's what the motorcycle cop said.
Well, hey, you can't blame him, being on a bike and all.
Oh, come on.
What are you? Some kind of cop lover or something? Oh, no, no.
I can't stand them myself.
How did the accident call go? Pretty rough, Ponch.
I hate those things.
How was your first night in driving school? Just like I expected.
Lousy.
Cops are at the top of everybody's hate list in that bunch.
Yeah, anyone recognize you? No, I don't think so.
What did I tell you, the kid's pure genius.
The plan was fail-safe, right? Hey, officers? How do I get to Newhall? Pardon? - Is everything okay? - I'm okay.
But I'll never see Newhall today.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of a blue Dodge Van.
Northbound, Old Mill Road, one mile north of Golden State.
Give me a 2829 on a 106 Lake Lincoln.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4, pursuit is now eastbound Cuddy Canyon approaching San Fernando.
Help.
Help me, somebody.
Get me out of here, please.
Get me out.
Get me out of here.
Please help me.
Get me out.
- Did he get you? - I think he got my boot.
Help.
Hey, get me out of here.
I'll check him.
Help.
Help me.
Get me out, please.
Get me out of here, please.
Help me.
- Get me out.
- Just hang in there.
We'll get you in a minute.
All right, we gotta figure some way here, Ponch.
- All right.
- Just don't move.
- Try not to get too excited.
- Hurry.
Hang on.
Hey, Fritz, put out a Code Four and roll an 1141.
Grab the fire extinguishers.
CO2 will lower their body temp so they can't move.
Bring some crowbars.
Hey, get me out of here, please.
Help me.
Baricza, you help Fritz.
- I can't get this - Ambulance is rolling.
Break out the rest of the windshield and get ready to pull him out.
Okay, guys.
Let's listen up.
Headquarters is planning a special enforcement program to help reduce accidents caused by drunk driving.
This study is focusing here in the L.
A.
Area and to facilitate the program, they've implemented an overtime allotment.
How could someone steal such a big bus? Why would someone steal a bus from the church? But Joe will find my bus.
One last thing.
The Ventura Freeway from Van Nuys to Coldwater is under construction and Come on in, reverend.
- Yeah, what's the matter, reverend? - Joe, they do it again, 20 minutes ago.
One minute the bus is there and then: Okay, slow down.
Who is they? How should I know? Do I look like a policeman? Please put out a "calling all cars" or something.
- Hunter, put it on the air.
- Right, sarge.
Look, we'll take care of it, reverend.
Go back to your church.
We'll call you when we get the bus.
Thank you, Joe.
God bless.
And you too, fellows.
Okay, guys, let's get with it, huh? We're beginning to look ridiculous.
That bus just lives next door.
The thieves probably came by and gave us a little beep on their horn.
Let's get to it.
Hey, don't worry, sarge.
I found it once, I'll find it again.
Yeah, Frank.
You know, I still can't figure out who'd want that bus.
Would you believe someone who doesn't wanna go over five miles per hour? Fifteen, 7 Mary 3 or 4, David 5, go ahead to 7 Mary 4.
I'm following your 10851 bus eastbound on the Angeles Crest Highway near Foothill Drive.
I don't really think you have to hurry.
Hey, Fritz, looks like you get a gold star.
I thought Ponch saw it first.
I heard your activity was low.
Hey, thanks.
I owe you.
A real bunch of killers.
Who are they? You got me.
Nice to see you again, sir.
Did you give up on public transportation? Don't you know you shouldn't talk to somebody when they're driving? You ought to know that.
Yes, sir.
I do.
That's why I'd like you to pull over.
Okay, but I want you to know, young man I could outrun you if I wasn't on this hill.
Right.
Over there on that shoulder, that'll be fine.
Ladies and gentlemen, would you all please step off the bus? Take it easy now, ma'am.
My wrists are kind of delicate.
You got any padded handcuffs? I'll check my saddlebags, ma'am.
Son, tomorrow is our golden wedding anniversary.
Would it be all right if we shared a cell? We'll see what we can arrange, okay? - Thank you.
- All right.
Hey, this way.
Come here, partner.
We wanna talk to you.
This bus doesn't belong to you.
You know that, don't you? Yeah.
We stole it.
Why would you want to do a thing like that? Well, we just got tired of waiting.
You see, the church has been promising a picnic all summer.
Never gone around to it, so we figured we'd take it ourselves.
- But that's breaking the law, sir.
- Maybe.
It's moving.
Somebody help us.
Somebody help us.
Oh, now we're all right.
Jon, I think Ponch is in trouble.
We're not stopping.
Can't you stop the bus? No.
The brakes are out.
Hold on.
All right, partner! Can't you stop it? Move over.
Get them over.
Keep them over there.
Come on, Ponch.
Help.
Help.
Help us.
Help us.
Attaboy.
Come on, Ponch.
Put it in that gravel.
Harold, let's go and thank the young man.
You saved our lives.
Oh, sonny, you are a darn good driver.
Come on, honey, let's get over here.
I'm just glad you went to driving school.
Hey, wow, man, you've grown a beard.
It's hereditary.
Hey, that's heavy.
I'm gonna graduate at the top of the class.
And it was all your idea.
I can't thank you enough, partner.
I'm glad you came.
I had to come here or lose my license.
Cops.
Boy, I hate cops.
Say, haven't we met? - Who, me? - Yeah.
No, I don't think we've had the pleasure.
Say, brother.
Haven't we met? Oh, no, monsieur, never.