Clarence US (2014) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Don't worry, little guy.
I'm not gonna squish you.
I just I'm just here to look.
Hey, mom, great news.
Jeff says I can come over and hang out at his house.
Do you think maybe you want to drive me? Oh, I will, sweetie.
But first, we're gonna go grocery shopping.
I finally got all my coupons gathered.
Now, where's the one for laundry detergent? It's here somewhere.
Hmm.
Oh, seriously? But grocery shopping is so boring.
It's like the most boring thing you can do on the whole Earth.
Seriously, mom, I can't think of anything more boring.
- Clarence.
- I'm sorry.
I'll go.
All right, real fast, just let me double-check and make sure I have everything here.
30 cents off tuna, baked beans, hair spray Wow! Hey, lady, where'd you get that go-kart? - So, how fast can this baby go? - Harrumph! - Clarence! - What? - That's impolite.
- Sorry.
We were just talking cars.
Hmph! Boring apples, boring oranges, boring cel Hey! Get out of here, celery.
No one invited you.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, could you watch the cart for me, sweetie? Okay.
- Hey! You stole a grape! That's stealing! - What are you What are you talking about? What grape? [Gasps.]
Hey, lady, did you see that? He stole a grape.
- You're not allowed to do that! - Oh, okay.
Well, I'll I'll turn him in to the proper authorities, then.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Hmph.
Ha ha.
Hey, Clarence, I got a mission for you, if you think you can handle it.
A mission? What kind of mission? Can you get me a gallon of skim milk? Yes, sir.
And reme hey, remember to check the date.
Yep! Whoa.
- 'Scuse me.
Are these free? - They sure are.
All right.
These are our coconut macaroon cookies, made with organic coconut Oh, yeah milk.
Whole milk gross.
2% gross.
Ah.
Skim milk.
Oh.
Come on.
Come on.
There's a whole world back here.
Banana peel! Banana peel, banana peel, banana peel, banana peel, banana peel.
Huh? Missed me.
Hello.
Lug-a-lug-a-lug-a-lug-a-la! - Hey, Sumo.
- Hey, man.
Uh, is that your grandma? I don't know.
I think she think's I'm hamburgers.
What are you doing in that kiddy seat? Well, my mom banned me from leaving after last time.
Whoa.
What happened last time? Long story.
What are you doing here? Well, I was gonna hang with Jeff, but mom says I got to get groceries first.
I hate shopping.
You know, they do got some stuff to do here, if you - know where to look.
- Wow.
Really? If the jellybeans fall down here, they're free.
- So now are these ones free? - I guess they are.
Yeah, I'm pretty much assistant manager by now.
I have my own key and everything.
You can hold it, if you want.
Hey! - Help, Sumo! - Get it out! Get it out! - Okay, now it's your turn.
- Okay, let me just oops.
Cleanup in aisle 5.
Pretty sure there's a secret world back - Yes! Yes! Yes! - Yay! All right! 50% off? Ooh! 70% off! Hello! A dollar for two? Don't mind if I do Savings.
Hmm.
You know, I wonder where Clarence is with that milk.
Cleanup in aisle 5.
- Okay, you again.
- Try them, Sumo.
- They're free.
- Yes, these are our coconut macaroon cookies, made with organic Yeah! Whoo! This is actually really fun! This is it one whole month of coupons.
- Ahh.
- Mom, look out! - No! - Oh, oh, oh! Ohhh! Ohh.
What - Coupons? - Coupons? - Coupons?! - Coupons? No! No! My my coupons! My coupons! No! Oh, no! Ah! Clarence! Clarence, I just I - Oh, Clarence.
- I'm I'm sorry, mom.
I Uh, look.
I-I got the milk you asked for.
All right, that's okay, Clarence.
I'll just, uh, put everything back now that I don't have coupons for them, all right? So why don't you just wait here, okay? - Sumo, we got to get those coupons back.
- What's the big deal? I don't know exactly what they do.
They must be like "mom money" or something.
But all I know is that my mom needs them, and we're gonna get them back.
Well, there's newspapers just sitting around the store that are full of those things.
And those machines just spit them out at you.
Let's go get some coupons.
Get ready.
Here they come.
- Gotcha.
- Ha! See ya.
Wait! No! Somersault, somersault, somersault away.
Hey, hey, hey! You're not allowed to do that! When are you gonna get in trouble? Smoke bomb.
See you later, alligator.
- Does anybody else see this?! - Oh, wow.
Samples? Don't mind if I do.
- Well, well, well.
Look who it is.
- Hello, Joshua.
Oh, look.
Avocados half off.
I had seven coupons for that.
Oh, well.
They're just a superfood that makes you live longer.
Guess I don't need that, so, uh, never mind.
Mom, mom, mom, look! - I got you your coupons back.
- What?! Clarence! How did you get all these coupons? - They're all here.
- Oh, don't worry about it.
I've got my resources.
Clarence! They're onto us! - Clarence, is that - Come on, mom.
Let's go.
Ohh! I've got that in cash.
Get back here! When I get my hands on you Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is this?! - Are you chasing a child?! - No! No! He he stole all the coupons.
It's against store policy, sir.
All right.
Easy, maverick.
How about we go have a little talk in my office? - Nice one, Joshua.
- It's "Josh.
" Did you know they got free cookies? I must have ate, like, two bags' worth.
And then this old lady thought that I was steak.
And then me and Sumo read about a fish boy.
Let me give you the gist of it.
It's he's, like, um and and then we ate some more cookies.
Oh, well, sounds like you weren't too bored after all, huh? Yeah, I guess you're right.
- How do I stay so young? - Oh, man, Clarence.
- You missed the best day ever.
- I did? Get this.
They've been playing only game shows all day long.
It's been awesome.
You had to be here.
- Oh.
Uh drats.
- What did you do? I went shopping with my mom.
Oh, and Sumo was there, and we, like, went on a little mission, and we had to get coupons.
It was really crazy.
Oh, yeah? It's back on! We're back, and the bidding will start with Tina.
Tina, you are bidding on a bottle of wet gleem cleaning detergent.
- Can you guess the price? - $8.
99! I know this! Come on, lady.
It's got to be at least $12.
99.
- $7.
50, Dan.
- And the actual retail price is $12.
99.
- Wh What? - I told her.
That ain't no brand X.
Let's do something else.