College Romance (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Come on, dude. Tell us.
Spill, dude.
Come on, Bagga.
He's feeling shy.
Bloody rascal!
I'm waiting, dude.
Bro.. Kiki Kiki Kiki.
Your bro loosened the bed springs!
The hotel's expenses have shot up.
Yuck, dude!
Naira is our friend, man.
You know what visuals you're putting in our heads?
Right, Trippy?
Why don't you rub one out right here?
Yuck, Bagga! No!
I don't think we should discuss all this.
Would they discuss this?
Trippy was like the Undertaker.
I don't know what he does.
His eyes rolled back into his head.
I got really scared.
What about Bagga?
Bagga looked like he was listening to
something important.
And how long did he listen to it?
Guys, I don't think we should discuss--
Ninety seconds.
Eighty seconds.
Better than expected.
As far as I know,
those three are the queens of evil.
They must be having sessions
about his Barbie.
Hey! Yours might be a Barbie!
Mine's a Ken.
Show!
Why should I? It's mine.
Show us if you dare.
Should I get a ruler? To measure?
You use a ruler too?
We used to use rulers too
Damn!
Trippy, we should call you Cringe.
That's what you make us do.
And if Bagga says that they
definitely must be having sessions,
it must be true!
I'm telling you, man.
How was yours?
Forget mine. Tell us how yours was.
Why would you ask
Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends!
I was pooping in there, and
your conversation gave me a boner.
I don't usually waste my boners,
so don't leave me high and dry.
What?
Let's begin.
What are we beginning?
Yeah, what?
Are you stupid?
You know
Kiki Kiki
You were listening to us, you asshole!
This jerk
Of course!
I heard about Naira.
Now tell us about Raveena.
Naira was fine, but this dickhead
now wants Raveena!
What do you mean?
I meantalk to him!
Yeah, let's talk it out.
Yeah, let's talk about Raveena.
You want to talk about Raveena?
Yeah.
Come here.
Raveena.
You'll whisper in my ear?
Yeah, in your ear.
This one.
Okay.
Tell him nicely, bro.
Fuck off, you perverted asshole!
Bagga, bro
I'll put your head in the toilet!
I'm used to it.
I'm used to it.
Get out, man.
II haven't flushed yet.
Doesn't matter. You guys are gonna smell it.
Please, man.
Youyou guys will smell it.
Thanks! Thanks, bro.
Go home, asshole.
Don't get so worked up, bro. Chill.
Yeah, Rahul is still in India.
ButTyagi is studying in Australia now.
Tyagi?
I completely forgot about him.
He's the one who pulled Shubham's ponytail, right?
And then he told the Principal,
"It was so tempting."
"Tempting"
Thanks for dropping me.
You can thank me in other ways.
Honestly
I didn't think you'd answer my call.
I'm sorry again.
And thanks.
It's okay.
See you!
Uh
You forgot to add 'soon'.
Hi Raveena!
Who was he?
Karan!
He was nobody!
Nobody!
But you got out of his car.
I did not.
I didn't.
Mohini!
She did, right?
Mohini says he was somebody.
Promise you won't tell Trippy?
Most questions will be from Unit 3.
How do you know, Mosquito?
NKS knows that topic the best.
That's why he'll put most questions from there.
Babe, do you have kohl?
Yeah, I'm not poor! In the bag.
Hi!
Sup?
She said sup to me!
It's Karan's butt!
That's Karan's butt.
Eww! Eww! That's Karan's butt.
Best friend! Best friend!
Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!
I see.
So Anshuman is your senior from school.
Who used to be your best friend.
Then boyfriend.
Then went absent.
And now he wants to be just friends.
Yeah, man.
We met yesterday,
after so many years, and
I don't want to tell Trippy yet, because
Because you're unsure.
No!
You like Anshuman, right?
No.
Then?
Two years ago, he was very important to me.
And I don't want to tell Trippy because
I don't know how he'll react.
I just need a little time.
Promise me you won't tell him.
Trippy is my best friend, dude!
Fine, I promise.
Let's go to the canteen.
You managed to woo a senior?
What a player.
God, they're fucking slow!
Dude, your
Smoky eye!
Fuck me!
What?
Fuck me, again!
Hi Deepika!
How are you?
You can see how I am.
Now fuck off.
Fucking cobra! What a bitch!
A total fucking bitch!
I'll show her.
Fuck me harder!
Naira
If I could lay my hands on her
I'll make love to her under the stars.
I'll take her all over Delhi.
And she won't make a single sound.
Is Anjali clean?
Anjali is.
Why is Deepika always so annoyed?
I think she even says to her mother,
"Fuck off, bitch! I don't want to eat gourd!"
Why do you hate her so much?
Remember, on the trip, there was
one sip of water left.
She gave it to you.
You jerk! She gave me the empty bottle,
after drinking it herself!
I had to swallow my saliva to quench my thirst.
Karan
Can I get some water?
Yes, baby?
Why are you defending her so much?
Did anything happen on the trip?
What do you think could have happened?
Let me ask again.
Did anything happen, between you two?
Wewe went there as friends with no benefits,
and everything was sorted.
100%.
Karan.
Important.
Here comes the bitch.
Yes!
Remember, before we had sex in the room, we
You bastard!
I knew it! You lied to us!
Deepika. Trippy. Naira.
Sup?
Hello.
You said not to tell.
So, yeah, we fucked.
And now we're trying an open relationship.
Understood? Sorted?
How cool is she! An open relationship--
Karan!
So, before we had sex,
we were drunk.
Yeah.
And I wrote 'Spank me'
on your ass with my lipstick.
That was lipstick!
When did you do that?
I thought it was paint--
I know you saw, you bitch!
Sorry, sorry, it was next to the kohl.
How does she know?
I clicked a Polaroid.
What?
Of your ass.
What?
There's a photo of your butt?
Wow, dude!
So you clicked a photo of me
in which I'm naked,
and you can see my ass,
without asking me?
She saw it?
Yup.
I wanna see..
I wanna see
I lost it!
What?
What?
Yeah.
Where?
In college.
A photo of your butt got lost in the college?
Now the whole college is going to see it.
Bhatia Ma'am might see it too.
M.C. Ma'am will also see!
Imtiaz Sir will see it too.
This is called getting royally fucked.
A student is going to find my photo,
who'll give it to Ma'am,
who'll give it to the Principal,
who'll call Mum to college,
I'm going to get expelled, my life will be over
Karan, relax!
Relax?
You lost a naked photo of me.
Everyone's going to find out.
How can you be so chilled out?
I'm very tensed.
Does this girl look tensed at all?
Not at all.
Deepika, where did you lose it?
In the canteen.
She was studying with him
Some insect.
Mosquito?
Yeah.
We live in the same complex.
I can ask him.
That Mosquito is in class right now!
Where are we going?
Come quickly. I'll tell you on the way.
I'm all sorted.
So percentage graph of Employee A and B
are a little different.
Okay?
Sir, may I enter?
Sir, this time I want to speak to Mosquito.
You're back?
And who is this Mosquito?
It's me, Sir.
Does anyone here have an actual name?
What's your name?
Sir, please, just
Shut up!
Builder.
(students cheer)
And yours?
Jalandhar.
(students cheer)
What is your name?
It's Lizard, Sir.
(students cheer)
Sir, please forget all this.
It's an emergency, again.
Actually, Mosquito's Mum
has just had a heart attack.
She too?
Yes, Sir.
Can I take him?
Go, man.
Where is he?
Come on, Mosquito.
It's a huge emergency. Come on.
Dude, Mosquito, don't worry,
your Mum is fine.
We were just joking--
I know.
She passed away last year.
What?
Where's the book, bro?
Which book?
The one you were using to teach me.
I used four books, Naira.
Did you find a naked photo of--
Hey!
I mean, where are the books, dude?
What do I get out of this?
Mosquito, you motherfu--
Bugs, his Mum!
Bro, we will not be able to find the book. Please understand
Apologize.
Dude
Mosquito
It's a bit of an emergency
Just tell us where the book is.
What do I get in return?
Wait!
Move.
Where is it?
Library.
Thank you.
That dickhead!
Thank you, man.
She's my girlfriend.
This way, idiot.
It's this way, man!
Trippy. Naira. Here.
There. You. There.
Yeah, just a sec.
No, II'll just
Damn! They've made it quite well.
This is what a library looks like?
Yeah.
It's fucking huge!
What a waste of money.
Could have made a gym instead.
Karan's such a dumbass.
He could have gotten a design.
Or 'Jatt inside' maybe.
What the hell is 'Spank Me'?
And that bitch Deepika wasn't even
bothered after losing the photo!
Obviously! It's Deepika.
Her blood group is F-negative.
No fucks.
ButKaran's is B-positive.
He should have been bothered
about hiding stuff from me.
Okay, I promise.
Why?
Why should he be?
What's so bad about hiding stuff?
Who knows, one of them might be
a little unsure,
or they just need a bit of time.
Karan must have promised that
he wouldn't tell anyone.
What's bigger - some idiot's promise,
or my friendship?
Obviously, it's the promise.
And you shouldn't refer to someone
you don't know an idiot.
That's rude.
Why are you getting so upset?
I didn't call you an idiot.
And, let me tell you something.
It's Deepika. He must have been scared of her.
In the past, he has sworn secrecy on his mother,
and yet told me the secrets he swore to protect.
Is the photo even here?
There's nothing here.
I checked all over.
What're you looking at?
Get out of the library.
Get out!
Huh. Smart ass.
I see!
Looking at an ass
makes you guys laugh?
Shameless women!
There's a photo in the book.
And I won't tell anybody.
Let me just find this photo.
Yeah, laugh at my ass!
Where's the photo?
Just tell me where the photo is.
Weirdo!
And the whole ass thing was a lie.
What?
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Why should I be ashamed, Raveena?
Only those who are respected feel shame.
But I have lost that.
I'm going to--
Karan!
If you can swear on your mother's life,
and yet not honor it,
what about my little promise?
Look, I'm going to tell Trippy everything.
I'll tell him myself.
I've told Anshuman not to call me ever again.
Alright. I'm going to find the photo.
You
I said no phone calls.
This is a video call.
Promise me you won't tell him this either.
Please! Please! Please! Please!
Promise me you won't--
Raveena, please! I'll tell the whole library!
Breathe. Breathe. Relax.
Sorry.
Sorry! Relax!
Can I please look for the photo?
Please just promise me.
Promise!
Can I look for the photo now?
Please?
Thanks!
Karan, I found all the books except the one we need.
It may have been reissued,
since the internals are coming up.
Did we find it?
Whom to?
Let's find out.
But how?
Librarian?
Ma'am!
Ma'am!
Wait, man.
Ma'am, we have an emergency.
Your father has had a heart attack.
Why?
They want you at reception.
What are you saying?
Yep.
You shouldn't have said that, you swine!
She'd have told us if we had asked.
But the plan worked, right?
Okay, now shut up. Naira, just check.
Aanchal
Abhilash
TarunNipun!
It's with Nipun.
Second year B.Com.
Awesome.
Oh fuck no!
What happened? More drama?
Hi, Nipun, bro!
Eat, dude. It's all for you.
Look.
No need to bribe me.
I'll give you the book.
I'm not really hungry.
But I do want something.
My hand
on his cheek.
You dickhead, I'm going to
stick a speaker up your ass.
It'll go boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! when played.
You shithead!
Bagga's own father hasn't
ever touched Bagga's cheek.
This dumbass?
Him?
This pig from south pole is going to hit me?
Why not?
Look at his attitude.
Who talks like that, man?
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
Threaten me with something
that's practically possible.
I'm out of here, guys.
I'm leaving.
No! Nipun, bro!
You're my bro, he's my bro.
I'll make him see sense.
Please. Come and sit.
You want some fries?
Just for you.
Bro my ass will be saved.
Please, bro. It's a request.
Karan, man
I was last hit in seventh grade.
Since then, your bro has only dealt out the slaps.
What has he done?
Dealt out.
And you want me to get slapped
by this piece of shit? This guy?
Bro!
I have a reputation in this college.
and swag.
It'll all be ruined.
I get it, bro!
How can he just slap?
You're my bro!
He has a reputation to maintain.
Trippy--
I won't allow this.
Trippy, just listen to me once.
I have to save my ass.
Trippy, my reputation is at stake here too.
I also think he shouldn't.
Violence is never the answer.
Right!
Really, Raveena? You think he shouldn't?
Trippy, I wanted to tell--
Hold on! He shouldn't, but he will.
Bagga isn't scared!
One, two, three, four, five
He can take seven in a row!
Keep her--
Please, Bagga.
Naira, dude!
I'll kiss the cheek he slaps you on.
Let me think, man.
What?
Raveena.
Should I get one too?
Alright.
I'm leaving.
The scene here is dead.
Bro!
I'm ready.
Bagga, no! Are you crazy?
I simply cannot stand this.
No! Just no!
Enough, dude!
No big deal.
Is this your aunt's wedding?
Put the phone away.
Put your phone away.
You will meet boys
after this.
I can't, man! He's cheating!
I'm leaving.
He's saying scary things.
I'm going.
Dude, dude, don't cry!
I wanted to sayNipun
at least tell me.
Will you hit me on the left one
Antan ant bit him. That's all!
Put the phone away!
Phones away!
Phones away! Put your phone away!
Where's the book?
Look after him.
Bro!
Bro, let's just get the photo.
Then we'll tear him a new one.
Understood? Tear apart!
Show, bro, show!
Show, dude!
Trippy, it's my ass.
Can I see it first?
Please?
Deepika has seen it, Naira has seen it.
But your bro shouldn't?
I want to see it too!
I should be enough for you. Now hush.
The photo is not in the book!
The photo isn't in the book, dude.
Not my problem.
It's your problem.
What's happening?
We'll find it.
Not my problem.
The photo isn't in the book?
We'll find it.
You shithead! The photo isn't even in the book?
Hey, wait, wait, wait wait, wait!
I'm right here. Here, take this.
You dickhead! I'm going to--
Bugs! Bugs! Bugs!
What if it just fell down on the way?
Quite possible.
Exactly.
Right.
Right.
Quite possible.
Just fell down on the way.
What a hoot!
Hey! Where did you come from?
Took a left from the library,
then a right at 2B downstairs, then I came here.
You stay.
Let's go.
Get up!
Get up!
Get up Karan.
Where did it fall?
Go easy on him.
Come, Raveena.
Just fell on the way.
Let's start.
Get your phones out, you dumbfucks!
Take them out, now!
Trippy!
Trippy!
Let go of my hair, man!
Spill, fucker!
Trippy!
I had gone to the downstairs washroom
to set my hair.
Check there too.
Yeah, please go there.
Here.
Come.
Nobody bothers to fucking flush!
Found it!
I found it! I found it!
TrippyReady?
Oh yes! Yes! Yes!
Bro!
My bro's ass is just like Shakaal's bald head.
Absolutely smooth.
I'm tired, dude.
That was quick.
We've checked the whole floor.
Why didn't you tell me
about Deepika and you?
Deepika and I wanted to try something first.
I thought you guys would judge.
We'd ju--
Hold on!
Why am I justifying this?
Every couple has private matters.
And you know what, Raveena's cheating on Trippy.
What?
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What a photo!
Bro!
What an ass, sweet Jes
This is not funny, okay?
Don'tdon't fuck around about this.
Are you sure Raveena is cheating on Trippy?
I don't know.
Anshuman is his ex-boyfriend.
He came to drop her,
and he video-called her.
But she's unsure.
Did you tell Trippy about this or not?
Are you mad?
Don't you know how emotional he is?
Who knows how he'll react!
And I've promised Raveena.
I don't think we'll find the photo today.
We will, man.
Found the photo?
Where you going?
To look.
See?
Your brother is no less than anyone.
I even attested it.
I don't want to see this, Bagga.
I can't find my photo, and you are saying officer officer
Fuck! I'm exhausted, man.
Fine, don't look. I'll put it on Instagram, I have 208 followers.
Found it?
Somebody is going to get a happy ending today.
Why did you need to
Hey!
Did you see him?
Yeah, we did.
Really?
What's that?
Fuck!
Woah!
Nnice! Nice!
Whoever Photoshopped this,
did a great job.
II'll just take it off.
Yeah!
Good job! Yeah?
And if it's on anybody's phone, please delete it.
All okay with your father?