Crawford (2018) s01e04 Episode Script
Someone Is Looking Out for You
1 Previously on "Crawford" What you up to, Vern? What are you doing to my award showcase? Uh, finding a spot for the jacket.
Noticed a lot of, bent street signs around here.
Kids, maybe? For your company, man, the site it's live now.
I need the money for studio time, if you set it up.
Yes! I got it, I got it, I got it.
Oh, Ms Farrah.
This is it, it's it's the un-rinsed milk cartons.
Is that-is that for real? That's like half of what I owe dad, man.
Thank you for last night, it was so special.
Let's not let things get weird, okay? - What's wrong? - I'm pregnant.
(DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) (PHONE CHIMES, LIGHT CLICKS ON) Oh no Oh (LOUD CLANK) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (OBJECT CLATTER IN BAG) (CAR RUMBLING BY) (DOOR SHUTS) (FLASHLIGHT CLICKS OFF) (EFFORT GRUNT) Oh (DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) (COFFEE POURS) (VOICE) Bend any signs lately, Brian? Okay, I don't know how to say this, but I wish it was me.
Okay? Do I admire it? Absolutely, but did I do it? No.
I don't know why you guys can't get that.
Yeah, do you guys really wanna keep drilling him on this sign stuff? It's been going on for years.
I mean dad, remember the pipe tobacco? - Oh, c'mon - Yeah, remember, who was wrong there, old man, huh? Right? Don't call him old man.
(VOICE) Thanks for your thoughts, but don't you have a gig somewhere? It is not what I look like, dad.
- Rock it, dad, rock it! - Shut up, Brian.
(DOORBELL RINGS) All right, that's a little bit better.
- Dad, dad, dad your brain.
- Are you okay? Careful man.
- Did you get it? - It's in.
I got it.
- Did anyone see you? - Nobody saw me, - don't worry about it.
- Okay.
- Good luck with Brian.
- Thank you.
- I'll meet you in the car.
- I'll see you there.
Hey Brian, I will be taking you to school today.
(DOOR SHUTS) I have a surprise for you.
I know guys your age are really into racing.
- Racing? - Only one of ten ever made, an official NASCAR Froot Loops racing jacket.
Just you have it for the day, score some cool points with your friends.
- (LAUGHS) - C'mon.
Let's try it on.
Mom, I can't wear this, this is crazy.
- (VOICE) Put in on.
- C'mon put it on.
Yeah, you should definitely put it on.
(RELUCTANT SIGHS) Oh Yeah.
(LAUGHS, SHUTTER CLICKS) Wow.
What do you think? Oh, you look great! C'mon.
If it makes you feel better, I'll wear it for the day.
Nice.
Okay, let's go to school then.
C'mon.
Let's go.
Sweet jacket, bro.
(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (SLURPS) (CLEARS THROAT) Where are- where are you going there, dad? (VOICE) Checking on Brian.
We are worried he's being bullied.
Maybe he doesn't wanna talk about it.
Maybe you shouldn't be investigating your family.
You're retired, remember? You sound like my Father, but you look like a rooster.
Geez, your dad did a number on you, eh? (DOOR SLAMS) (TAPS MIC) (MEASURING TAPE RASPS) (HEAVY METAL RIFF PLAYS) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? What? Ringtails? No, no, The Ring-The Ringtails website that's a, that's joke, that's not real.
Bye.
(SLOW DRUMMING) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? W-what no, Ringta- I'm sorry, cash? At the cafe, yeah, I know where that is.
BOY: Hey yo, B wait up.
GIRL: Hey Brian, Brian! BOY: Yo, what's up loops'? - Ah, you know Loops, I guess we'll see you soon, man.
Yeah.
See you later.
- That's weird.
- What's he wearing? What's with the jacket? (TAPS, ENGINE RUMBLES) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) (BIKE RATTLES) (GLOVES RUSTLE) I'm just going to grab a couple coffee's.
- Ah, thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
And Shellers thank you for getting that jacket for Brian.
You're so welcome.
I'm so worried about him though.
Do you want me to call his principal maybe? - That would be great.
- Well, hey, Cyn.
- Bryce! - Uh, hey Bryce.
Hey Shellers.
Uh, good to see you and the dogs.
You are not on the schedule and today is crazy busy.
Actually Shellers, it's okay, I can see him now.
- Okay.
- Bryce what are you doing here? Sorry, just give me one second, I'm just going to deal with the dogs here.
C'mon.
Okay.
Over here.
C'mon here.
Molly, Molly, get up.
Please, be good for me, be good for me.
Be good girls.
Be good.
Stay.
- Hey.
- Hey! I just, I-I wanted to show you, I got you little something here Oh Wow, a-a canoe paddle.
Because you love canoeing so much, and you know, we both love you too.
This Joshua Tree, lasered in there, it's custom job.
- Canoeing? - Is it rowing? Oh, I told you about the rowing machine in my office, is that maybe what you are thinking about? - (SIGHS) - But this is, wow, t-the way you burned the Joshua Tree into the wood, - that's stupendous.
- It's a very nice job.
Yeah, it's kind of mind blowing.
Yeah, He did beautiful work.
I used the guy before.
(DOG BARKS) Girls, would you stay! C'mon.
Tilla! Molly! Hey! Girls, cooperate with me, I'm already in trouble here.
Stay.
Stay.
Ugh, not on the sofa.
I'm sorry, Shellers.
Um, look, I-I know, we really shouldn't be here.
Work's number 1, I'm number 2 No, no, Bryce.
You're number 4.
Yeah, my kids are number 1, husband is 2, work's 3.
A-and you are, you're number 4, Bryce.
4 is not that bad.
Could be worse, right? - Yup.
- I get it.
I started the fire, I know how to uh, cook with it.
Oh you do.
Okay, uh, Cynthia, we really gotta get going here.
Early meeting.
So I'm not letting you leave, until I get a kiss first.
Ugh, okay.
(CAMERA CLICKS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) MAN: Y-you got some change? BRIAN: Sure.
- Take care of yourself, man.
- Okay.
Hey! Nice jacket.
- Thanks.
Thanks man.
- Very nice.
(DINOSAUR ROARS) (LOUD HUM OF CHATTER) CHILD: I want a freeze but not a slurpee! (SLURPING) (PLAYFUL SCREAMS) (PLAYFUL SCREAMS) (DINOSAUR ROARS) (RIDE WHOOSHES AND WHISTLES) (DINOSAUR ROARS) (RIDE WHOOSHES AND WHISTLES) Early 30's, he's a sought after sports Physiotherapist.
Sporty, but sensitive.
Hot, on fire - Dev! That's wrong! - Crazy After he was shot in the head in the line of duty and now she's gallivanting around with some muscle head.
Ugh, she's grimy and out of control.
Good this is it, this the year of secret weed Ross.
(CAT MEOWS) (PHONES RING) (CAT PURRS) Did you let this cat in my office? - I think it let itself - No, no, no, no.
You did.
You did, because you're, you're not paying attention and because you're neglectful.
Okay? And that can't happen, that can't happen! I want to take you with me.
I do, but you are blowing this.
Just, no cats, I hate cats, Dev.
Just get me a new chair, okay? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry Sunbeamers, oh baby, baby, it's okay.
It's okay, I'll bring you back to mommy right away.
All right, let's go just (SIGHS) Dev sit, I might need you to work a little late tonight, okay? But tonight I have dinner plans, uh, I asked you last week remember? Did you just ask me to remember something? Dinner? Dev? Okay well, I can remember that but uh, oh, you saw what happened, I guided you to the chair.
- Of course.
- Here's the thing.
You, you are not worthy of me remembering anything regarding you, okay? You do as I ask, not memories to have no memories.
- Does that make sense? - Y-yes.
'Cause it makes a lot of sense to everyone else down here in 4S, who would gladly take your position.
Hm? (PHONE CHIMES) What are you looking at? Look away Travis.
(CALMING EXHALE) Okay.
Get to work.
Sure, yeah.
Not a big deal.
Sorry Veronica.
Good.
Diet Coke.
Hi, I (THROWS UP) Oh my God! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Oh Take it easy there, you okay? Yeah, yeah.
I'm, I'm fine, thank you.
Uh, I didn't have carrots.
- Here.
- Thanks.
You can tell me, w-what's wrong? Nothing is wrong, Dev, okay? - I just happen to be pregnant.
- You're pregnant? Don't worry.
It, it's not yours, okay? It's my exes.
We broke up, but it's all good.
Stop freaking out, I can see you freaking out.
I'm very happy.
Thank you for asking.
- Okay.
- Okay.
(PHONE BUZZES) Oh, crap.
You made me miss Mr.
Bennett's call.
Excuse me.
(PHONES RING) Hi, we just missed a call from Mr Bennett? I have Cynthia now.
Okay.
Please hold.
Mr.
Bennett, Brian's principal on the line.
Hi, this is uh, Cynthia.
Yeah.
Brian's mom.
I'm just calling in to check up on Brian, see how he's doing.
Transferred? Two Months ago? Uh, sorry.
I must have called his old school by mistake.
I, I will call his new school then.
Thank you.
He hasn't gone to school in two months! Are you sure they are talking about the right Brian? I'll get Owen on the line.
(LOW HUM OF CHATTER) ANNOUNCER: all the best foods; Hot Dogs, Nachos and a great variety of the sweetest candy are always available.
Unfortunately, we do not accept cash, but easy snack payment plans can be set up with your online banking.
Please remember, to turn off your phones and enjoy the movie with our great snacks.
We are not responsible for any complications with food consumed at this theatre.
Enjoy the movie and our snacks! DON: Excuse me, excuse me, thank you.
Excuse, me, excuse me, please.
Raccoon man here.
M'am, m'am, m'am, can you please back up.
Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Who wants to know? I do, I was hired to dispose of this body.
- So, I need a body.
- So, you work for the city? No, I run a raccoon relocation business.
- Where do you take them? - To the park.
So you know what you're doing? Kind of, I read stuff.
I have GPS tags on 34 raccoons in this city.
Bella, was one of them.
Plus I track a few that you've resettled.
Here's the tracking data.
Wait a minute, are you a cop? Do you know my dad? No.
I'm a Scientist.
Three of your animals are now living in this property, - how tall are you? - 5'11.
- How many fingers? - Three.
Good.
Are you attracted to me? No.
I'm gonna ask you that again, are you attracted to me? You could not be further from my type.
Okay.
I can help you.
And, I think you can help me.
- Hold this.
- Okay.
Sir, you can't sleep in here.
(BIG EXHALE) Excuse me.
I've been following you and Brian for a week.
I have GPS locators on half the raccoons in this area and it got weird when they started doing 60, it turns out it was your limo, so I'm thinking who is this guy driving around with raccoons in limos.
I have issues with people, so I check them out before I work with them.
- You check out.
- Check out for what? All right, I was hired by this store to dispose of this raccoon.
So that's what I'm gonna do.
This raccoon is not garbage, do you even like raccoons? Yeah.
Look at this raccoon, smell it.
It smells like chicken nuggets.
How do you think this raccoon got smoked? - Choked on a pretzel.
- Huh, look at it.
Look at it's tiny little body and it's emaciated little eyes.
We killed it, because all it ate was fast food and garbage, it died of a shitty heart attack.
You murdered it, I murdered it, we are all murderers.
No, no, no, nobody is murdering anybody, all right? Look, how do you know so much about raccoons? I'm a first year Vet Assistant.
- Where? - Community College.
You said you were a Scientist.
- I am a Scientist.
- At the Community College? Follow me.
Are you okay, sir? Do you need help? What? MAN: we're gonna get some Hot dogs GIRL: There will be a long line-up for ticket.
(DINOSAUR ROARS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) Dad.
Well, what are you doing here? I thought you were at home.
Look okay, I know what you are thinking but I have two classes off, okay? Where did you get the fries.
Nice fries.
Stale.
So whoa! What's wrong? What? (VOICE) Froot Loops.
Geez.
(PANTING) Okay, it-it's a NASCAR Froot Loops racing jacket, have you seen it? We'll check our lost and found upstairs.
(GROANS) Okay, it's-it's-it's gone.
I Someone just have stolen it, I, you gotta understand this, I couldn't have gone to school in a Froot loops jacket.
It, it's-it's crazy.
(VOICE) You are not at the mall because of Froot Loops.
We have intelligence that you haven't been at school for months.
Are you spying on me? Well, you know what? I'm g-glad that you know, okay? 'Cause I have been looking forward to telling you the perfectly excellent reasons I have, for quitting school.
Checked our lost and found, no jacket.
(PANICKED BREATHS) Taylor, I know you said never call you.
But the Froot Loops jacket is missing.
Please, please call me as soon as possible.
It's Vern.
Goodnight guys.
MAN: Good night.
Woman: Good night.
It's like an upgraded storage room.
Sure, I could have a nice place, my mom offered to buy me a condo.
But they're a waste of money.
She's crazy.
Dad's crazy.
They're all crazy.
You don't even want to know about my family.
- Why? - Crazy.
So what is your deal, where do you live? - Uh, I live at home.
- With your parents? Yeah, yeah.
Until the new record comes out.
- Do you like music? - No.
(CRICKETS CHIRP) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) Mom, don't freak out, but I lost the jacket.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not, okay? I-I went to that mall, I saw a movie and when I came back i-it was gone.
You left it behind at the mall? (VOICE) Quit school.
Lies.
Disappointed.
Why? W-were you being bullied? Bald jokes? No, okay, I, I was inspired to quit school by you guys.
Don and you.
You guys quit school, okay? - Hi family.
- Oh.
It's a weird vibe.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
You quit school and look at how successful you are.
And look at Don, okay, he's doing great.
He trusted his gut and he quit school.
Yeah, but that's not listening to your gut Brian, that's listening to Don's gut.
You, uh, the disappointing thing here is y-you lied to us about going to school.
Is there anything else you wanna tell us about? Oh my God.
You guys aren't talking about the sign bending, are you? I told you, it wasn't me.
I don't know how to bend signs, I don't know how to use a Pulley.
(VOICE) School or job, choose one? Look, okay, my game is still at home.
I'm doing great things here, I'm cleaning the dishes, I'm cleaning the floors, I'm vacuuming everywhere.
This house would be a wreck without me and I'm taking over recycling.
(SIGHS) Okay, here's a job for you, Brian.
Get out there and find that Froot Loops jacket.
I'm sorry, I'll get the jacket back, and thank you both for being very reasonable about me quitting school.
Okay, you both are very smart and very cool.
(SCOFFS) (SAW RASPS) (PHONE CHIMES) (EXHALES) (LAUGHS) What hon, you watching your memes? What? That was at work today.
W-wow.
Well, someone's looking out for you Owen.
Give me that.
Let me forward this to Shellers, and see what she and IT can find out.
Oh.
(LAUGHS) Subtitle corrections by
Noticed a lot of, bent street signs around here.
Kids, maybe? For your company, man, the site it's live now.
I need the money for studio time, if you set it up.
Yes! I got it, I got it, I got it.
Oh, Ms Farrah.
This is it, it's it's the un-rinsed milk cartons.
Is that-is that for real? That's like half of what I owe dad, man.
Thank you for last night, it was so special.
Let's not let things get weird, okay? - What's wrong? - I'm pregnant.
(DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) (PHONE CHIMES, LIGHT CLICKS ON) Oh no Oh (LOUD CLANK) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (OBJECT CLATTER IN BAG) (CAR RUMBLING BY) (DOOR SHUTS) (FLASHLIGHT CLICKS OFF) (EFFORT GRUNT) Oh (DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE) (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) (COFFEE POURS) (VOICE) Bend any signs lately, Brian? Okay, I don't know how to say this, but I wish it was me.
Okay? Do I admire it? Absolutely, but did I do it? No.
I don't know why you guys can't get that.
Yeah, do you guys really wanna keep drilling him on this sign stuff? It's been going on for years.
I mean dad, remember the pipe tobacco? - Oh, c'mon - Yeah, remember, who was wrong there, old man, huh? Right? Don't call him old man.
(VOICE) Thanks for your thoughts, but don't you have a gig somewhere? It is not what I look like, dad.
- Rock it, dad, rock it! - Shut up, Brian.
(DOORBELL RINGS) All right, that's a little bit better.
- Dad, dad, dad your brain.
- Are you okay? Careful man.
- Did you get it? - It's in.
I got it.
- Did anyone see you? - Nobody saw me, - don't worry about it.
- Okay.
- Good luck with Brian.
- Thank you.
- I'll meet you in the car.
- I'll see you there.
Hey Brian, I will be taking you to school today.
(DOOR SHUTS) I have a surprise for you.
I know guys your age are really into racing.
- Racing? - Only one of ten ever made, an official NASCAR Froot Loops racing jacket.
Just you have it for the day, score some cool points with your friends.
- (LAUGHS) - C'mon.
Let's try it on.
Mom, I can't wear this, this is crazy.
- (VOICE) Put in on.
- C'mon put it on.
Yeah, you should definitely put it on.
(RELUCTANT SIGHS) Oh Yeah.
(LAUGHS, SHUTTER CLICKS) Wow.
What do you think? Oh, you look great! C'mon.
If it makes you feel better, I'll wear it for the day.
Nice.
Okay, let's go to school then.
C'mon.
Let's go.
Sweet jacket, bro.
(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (SLURPS) (CLEARS THROAT) Where are- where are you going there, dad? (VOICE) Checking on Brian.
We are worried he's being bullied.
Maybe he doesn't wanna talk about it.
Maybe you shouldn't be investigating your family.
You're retired, remember? You sound like my Father, but you look like a rooster.
Geez, your dad did a number on you, eh? (DOOR SLAMS) (TAPS MIC) (MEASURING TAPE RASPS) (HEAVY METAL RIFF PLAYS) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? What? Ringtails? No, no, The Ring-The Ringtails website that's a, that's joke, that's not real.
Bye.
(SLOW DRUMMING) (PHONE RINGS) Hello? W-what no, Ringta- I'm sorry, cash? At the cafe, yeah, I know where that is.
BOY: Hey yo, B wait up.
GIRL: Hey Brian, Brian! BOY: Yo, what's up loops'? - Ah, you know Loops, I guess we'll see you soon, man.
Yeah.
See you later.
- That's weird.
- What's he wearing? What's with the jacket? (TAPS, ENGINE RUMBLES) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) (BIKE RATTLES) (GLOVES RUSTLE) I'm just going to grab a couple coffee's.
- Ah, thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
And Shellers thank you for getting that jacket for Brian.
You're so welcome.
I'm so worried about him though.
Do you want me to call his principal maybe? - That would be great.
- Well, hey, Cyn.
- Bryce! - Uh, hey Bryce.
Hey Shellers.
Uh, good to see you and the dogs.
You are not on the schedule and today is crazy busy.
Actually Shellers, it's okay, I can see him now.
- Okay.
- Bryce what are you doing here? Sorry, just give me one second, I'm just going to deal with the dogs here.
C'mon.
Okay.
Over here.
C'mon here.
Molly, Molly, get up.
Please, be good for me, be good for me.
Be good girls.
Be good.
Stay.
- Hey.
- Hey! I just, I-I wanted to show you, I got you little something here Oh Wow, a-a canoe paddle.
Because you love canoeing so much, and you know, we both love you too.
This Joshua Tree, lasered in there, it's custom job.
- Canoeing? - Is it rowing? Oh, I told you about the rowing machine in my office, is that maybe what you are thinking about? - (SIGHS) - But this is, wow, t-the way you burned the Joshua Tree into the wood, - that's stupendous.
- It's a very nice job.
Yeah, it's kind of mind blowing.
Yeah, He did beautiful work.
I used the guy before.
(DOG BARKS) Girls, would you stay! C'mon.
Tilla! Molly! Hey! Girls, cooperate with me, I'm already in trouble here.
Stay.
Stay.
Ugh, not on the sofa.
I'm sorry, Shellers.
Um, look, I-I know, we really shouldn't be here.
Work's number 1, I'm number 2 No, no, Bryce.
You're number 4.
Yeah, my kids are number 1, husband is 2, work's 3.
A-and you are, you're number 4, Bryce.
4 is not that bad.
Could be worse, right? - Yup.
- I get it.
I started the fire, I know how to uh, cook with it.
Oh you do.
Okay, uh, Cynthia, we really gotta get going here.
Early meeting.
So I'm not letting you leave, until I get a kiss first.
Ugh, okay.
(CAMERA CLICKS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) MAN: Y-you got some change? BRIAN: Sure.
- Take care of yourself, man.
- Okay.
Hey! Nice jacket.
- Thanks.
Thanks man.
- Very nice.
(DINOSAUR ROARS) (LOUD HUM OF CHATTER) CHILD: I want a freeze but not a slurpee! (SLURPING) (PLAYFUL SCREAMS) (PLAYFUL SCREAMS) (DINOSAUR ROARS) (RIDE WHOOSHES AND WHISTLES) (DINOSAUR ROARS) (RIDE WHOOSHES AND WHISTLES) Early 30's, he's a sought after sports Physiotherapist.
Sporty, but sensitive.
Hot, on fire - Dev! That's wrong! - Crazy After he was shot in the head in the line of duty and now she's gallivanting around with some muscle head.
Ugh, she's grimy and out of control.
Good this is it, this the year of secret weed Ross.
(CAT MEOWS) (PHONES RING) (CAT PURRS) Did you let this cat in my office? - I think it let itself - No, no, no, no.
You did.
You did, because you're, you're not paying attention and because you're neglectful.
Okay? And that can't happen, that can't happen! I want to take you with me.
I do, but you are blowing this.
Just, no cats, I hate cats, Dev.
Just get me a new chair, okay? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry Sunbeamers, oh baby, baby, it's okay.
It's okay, I'll bring you back to mommy right away.
All right, let's go just (SIGHS) Dev sit, I might need you to work a little late tonight, okay? But tonight I have dinner plans, uh, I asked you last week remember? Did you just ask me to remember something? Dinner? Dev? Okay well, I can remember that but uh, oh, you saw what happened, I guided you to the chair.
- Of course.
- Here's the thing.
You, you are not worthy of me remembering anything regarding you, okay? You do as I ask, not memories to have no memories.
- Does that make sense? - Y-yes.
'Cause it makes a lot of sense to everyone else down here in 4S, who would gladly take your position.
Hm? (PHONE CHIMES) What are you looking at? Look away Travis.
(CALMING EXHALE) Okay.
Get to work.
Sure, yeah.
Not a big deal.
Sorry Veronica.
Good.
Diet Coke.
Hi, I (THROWS UP) Oh my God! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Oh Take it easy there, you okay? Yeah, yeah.
I'm, I'm fine, thank you.
Uh, I didn't have carrots.
- Here.
- Thanks.
You can tell me, w-what's wrong? Nothing is wrong, Dev, okay? - I just happen to be pregnant.
- You're pregnant? Don't worry.
It, it's not yours, okay? It's my exes.
We broke up, but it's all good.
Stop freaking out, I can see you freaking out.
I'm very happy.
Thank you for asking.
- Okay.
- Okay.
(PHONE BUZZES) Oh, crap.
You made me miss Mr.
Bennett's call.
Excuse me.
(PHONES RING) Hi, we just missed a call from Mr Bennett? I have Cynthia now.
Okay.
Please hold.
Mr.
Bennett, Brian's principal on the line.
Hi, this is uh, Cynthia.
Yeah.
Brian's mom.
I'm just calling in to check up on Brian, see how he's doing.
Transferred? Two Months ago? Uh, sorry.
I must have called his old school by mistake.
I, I will call his new school then.
Thank you.
He hasn't gone to school in two months! Are you sure they are talking about the right Brian? I'll get Owen on the line.
(LOW HUM OF CHATTER) ANNOUNCER: all the best foods; Hot Dogs, Nachos and a great variety of the sweetest candy are always available.
Unfortunately, we do not accept cash, but easy snack payment plans can be set up with your online banking.
Please remember, to turn off your phones and enjoy the movie with our great snacks.
We are not responsible for any complications with food consumed at this theatre.
Enjoy the movie and our snacks! DON: Excuse me, excuse me, thank you.
Excuse, me, excuse me, please.
Raccoon man here.
M'am, m'am, m'am, can you please back up.
Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Who wants to know? I do, I was hired to dispose of this body.
- So, I need a body.
- So, you work for the city? No, I run a raccoon relocation business.
- Where do you take them? - To the park.
So you know what you're doing? Kind of, I read stuff.
I have GPS tags on 34 raccoons in this city.
Bella, was one of them.
Plus I track a few that you've resettled.
Here's the tracking data.
Wait a minute, are you a cop? Do you know my dad? No.
I'm a Scientist.
Three of your animals are now living in this property, - how tall are you? - 5'11.
- How many fingers? - Three.
Good.
Are you attracted to me? No.
I'm gonna ask you that again, are you attracted to me? You could not be further from my type.
Okay.
I can help you.
And, I think you can help me.
- Hold this.
- Okay.
Sir, you can't sleep in here.
(BIG EXHALE) Excuse me.
I've been following you and Brian for a week.
I have GPS locators on half the raccoons in this area and it got weird when they started doing 60, it turns out it was your limo, so I'm thinking who is this guy driving around with raccoons in limos.
I have issues with people, so I check them out before I work with them.
- You check out.
- Check out for what? All right, I was hired by this store to dispose of this raccoon.
So that's what I'm gonna do.
This raccoon is not garbage, do you even like raccoons? Yeah.
Look at this raccoon, smell it.
It smells like chicken nuggets.
How do you think this raccoon got smoked? - Choked on a pretzel.
- Huh, look at it.
Look at it's tiny little body and it's emaciated little eyes.
We killed it, because all it ate was fast food and garbage, it died of a shitty heart attack.
You murdered it, I murdered it, we are all murderers.
No, no, no, nobody is murdering anybody, all right? Look, how do you know so much about raccoons? I'm a first year Vet Assistant.
- Where? - Community College.
You said you were a Scientist.
- I am a Scientist.
- At the Community College? Follow me.
Are you okay, sir? Do you need help? What? MAN: we're gonna get some Hot dogs GIRL: There will be a long line-up for ticket.
(DINOSAUR ROARS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) Dad.
Well, what are you doing here? I thought you were at home.
Look okay, I know what you are thinking but I have two classes off, okay? Where did you get the fries.
Nice fries.
Stale.
So whoa! What's wrong? What? (VOICE) Froot Loops.
Geez.
(PANTING) Okay, it-it's a NASCAR Froot Loops racing jacket, have you seen it? We'll check our lost and found upstairs.
(GROANS) Okay, it's-it's-it's gone.
I Someone just have stolen it, I, you gotta understand this, I couldn't have gone to school in a Froot loops jacket.
It, it's-it's crazy.
(VOICE) You are not at the mall because of Froot Loops.
We have intelligence that you haven't been at school for months.
Are you spying on me? Well, you know what? I'm g-glad that you know, okay? 'Cause I have been looking forward to telling you the perfectly excellent reasons I have, for quitting school.
Checked our lost and found, no jacket.
(PANICKED BREATHS) Taylor, I know you said never call you.
But the Froot Loops jacket is missing.
Please, please call me as soon as possible.
It's Vern.
Goodnight guys.
MAN: Good night.
Woman: Good night.
It's like an upgraded storage room.
Sure, I could have a nice place, my mom offered to buy me a condo.
But they're a waste of money.
She's crazy.
Dad's crazy.
They're all crazy.
You don't even want to know about my family.
- Why? - Crazy.
So what is your deal, where do you live? - Uh, I live at home.
- With your parents? Yeah, yeah.
Until the new record comes out.
- Do you like music? - No.
(CRICKETS CHIRP) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) Mom, don't freak out, but I lost the jacket.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not, okay? I-I went to that mall, I saw a movie and when I came back i-it was gone.
You left it behind at the mall? (VOICE) Quit school.
Lies.
Disappointed.
Why? W-were you being bullied? Bald jokes? No, okay, I, I was inspired to quit school by you guys.
Don and you.
You guys quit school, okay? - Hi family.
- Oh.
It's a weird vibe.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
You quit school and look at how successful you are.
And look at Don, okay, he's doing great.
He trusted his gut and he quit school.
Yeah, but that's not listening to your gut Brian, that's listening to Don's gut.
You, uh, the disappointing thing here is y-you lied to us about going to school.
Is there anything else you wanna tell us about? Oh my God.
You guys aren't talking about the sign bending, are you? I told you, it wasn't me.
I don't know how to bend signs, I don't know how to use a Pulley.
(VOICE) School or job, choose one? Look, okay, my game is still at home.
I'm doing great things here, I'm cleaning the dishes, I'm cleaning the floors, I'm vacuuming everywhere.
This house would be a wreck without me and I'm taking over recycling.
(SIGHS) Okay, here's a job for you, Brian.
Get out there and find that Froot Loops jacket.
I'm sorry, I'll get the jacket back, and thank you both for being very reasonable about me quitting school.
Okay, you both are very smart and very cool.
(SCOFFS) (SAW RASPS) (PHONE CHIMES) (EXHALES) (LAUGHS) What hon, you watching your memes? What? That was at work today.
W-wow.
Well, someone's looking out for you Owen.
Give me that.
Let me forward this to Shellers, and see what she and IT can find out.
Oh.
(LAUGHS) Subtitle corrections by