Crazyhead (2016) s01e04 Episode Script
Penguin Or Cow?
Suzanne's changed.
She's a bloodsucking monster.
She'll suck you dry.
- Got you.
Tyler says hi.
- Why does he say hi? Whoa, easy.
Who the hell are you? - I'm Harry.
Just meeting you like this.
I'm glad it happened.
Ah! Arrrgh! Ever since I was 14, I've been wasting these pricks.
Now, one of them saved my life.
Why would they do that? I couldn't let you kill Raquel.
Oh, she doesn't know it yet, but she's special.
Oh, she's a real game changer.
â« I'm going to catch you â« I'm going to get you Get you â« Oh, ah oh â« I want to taste the way that you bleed â« Oh, oh oh-oh â« You're my kill of the night.
â« She knows the pricks who took Suzanne.
She's going to tell us where they're holding her.
I need an ice pole.
For her, because she's a demon.
I can't tell who is a demon and who isn't.
What if you end up shoving something up someone who's not a demon? That'd be awkward.
OK, right, you go and wait in the car before I shove something in you.
You see someone coming in the house, you call us.
Oh, you make one joke.
Fine.
I'll go and wait in the car like an obedient, shitty little puppet.
Nice.
Yeah, I know.
You should see the art he brings home.
I've got no idea what any of it is, but it looks like he's on acid.
Well, do you want to get a coffee after drop-off? Yeah, we could go to the new place with the cupcakes.
OK, great.
She didn't.
Aw, no, no.
No-one's pelvic floor is what it used to be.
I got hiccups the other day.
Little bit of wee came out.
See you tomorrow.
All right, love, bye-bye.
Bedtime! Yes.
Mum? Who are they? They're friends of Mummy's.
You say hello.
Hello.
You all right? - Hi.
Why don't you let me put him to bed, and then we can talk? Let me put him to bed and then you can do what it is you need to do.
Please? OK.
Thank you.
That's your muffins to take to school tomorrow.
Don't let them burn.
Do you think one of you could take his muffins out the oven? We didn't come round to help out with your home baking.
You want to hurry this along, take the muffins out of the oven.
Mum, they're going to burn, Mum.
OK, OK.
Fine.
I'll get the muffins.
There's a cooling tray in the oven door.
Yeah, I think we're done with the muffin talk.
Your muffin days are over.
Amy, you OK? I'm fine! It's just the muffins! Are my muffins burned? No.
Say goodnight to Raquel.
Night-night.
- Night.
Sleep tight.
Mind the bedbugs don't bite, and if they do, squish them with a big book.
You listen to me, OK? No matter what you hear, you stay in bed.
How did you find me? You dropped your phone at the ice rink.
So, I guess I've got it coming for what I did to Sawyer? You've more than got it coming.
And I guarantee, it would hurt.
Like shooting a grapefruit in reverse.
But there is one way your little boy gets to keep his mum.
I'll do anything.
The pricks you're with, they took our friend.
Where are they keeping her? I don't know anything about that.
But I can find out.
I'll make some calls.
Raquel? Raquel, you OK? I'm going to need a minute.
OK, maybe more like 30.
Don't you even think about going up there on your own.
She's the only way of finding Suzanne.
You don't know I'm Sid the Snake.
I'm Sid the Snake.
Good try, cutie-pie.
You come to my home.
Where my son is.
You think this is about getting your friend back.
You have no idea what's coming down the track.
A big, nasty-ass train full of demons! Ahhh! Where's my friend?! I don't know.
- Where is she? Where is she?! - Mum? Situation critical.
Over and out.
The kid starts crying or does anything even vaguely annoying, you're going to a hotel.
Is he going to piss or shit himself? Because that's 800 count Egyptian cotton.
Do you want to stop being a total dick and pour me a glass of wine? Hm.
I don't think you should be on your own.
You can stay at mine? We could have a sleepover? We'll brush each other's hair and shit.
Will your brother be there? He's at work.
He'll be back later.
OK.
I'll call you.
Amy? I know you're probably about to go do some heavy petting I intimate touching I oral pleasure / full penetrative sexual intercourse, but before you do that, just give me a chance to set out my stall, so you can make an informed choice.
An informed choice? Between me and her dickhead brother.
Yeah, yeah, cos he's the dickhead in the mix.
Jake I know sometimes I can be rude, graphically, vulgar, cock-mouthed, but my heart is pure.
I'd never hurt you.
I'd never shit on you, in either the metaphorical or literal sense of the word.
I love you.
So, there you go.
Just putting that out there.
Jake I really like you, as a friend.
It's a big decision.
It's huge.
Take your time.
I'm sorry.
Night.
Nice try, man.
I'll find you something to sleep in.
I can't stop thinking about Suzanne.
What if they've already killed her? If they wanted to kill her, they could've done it in the forest.
I still don't get why they took her and left me.
The demon single mum said something about, "big nasty-arse train full of demons.
" I'm pretty sure that's not an actual train.
Well, they're not usually this organised.
We need to be ready to kick some arse, because shit is about to get nasty.
Penguin or cow? - Penguin.
- Right.
Ooh! When you went after the she-prick on your own like that, that was very definitely kick arse.
So, I'm not just a wet, delusional, shitty little princess with a big spoon face? I think you can do better with spoon face, but the attitude? It's a whole new you.
Ooh, erm I feel like my little girl grew a set of balls - lady balls.
That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hm.
Shall I make is some tea? Yeah, it'd be great actually, if you could.
That'd be lovely.
It's a '98 Petrus.
It's really excellent.
You clearly appreciate fine wine! Help yourself.
Raquel came to my home.
My boy was there.
Do you see me losing my shit and showing myself? No.
When I feel it building up inside, I find myself an innocent bystander and beat them to death with my bare hands and relax.
I want to suck the life out of her and spit her into the underworld.
Well, for very obvious reasons, I can't let that happen.
You know how important she is.
Why can't you just lock her in a basement until you need her? Raquel is like a fine wine - she needs time to develop and mature.
We lock her in a basement shitting in a bucket, she won't be in the right place emotionally.
Just chill out.
"Chill out"? Chill out?! That blonde bitch tried to strangle me, with a toy snake! I think one of your tits is bleeding.
She stabbed me with an F-15 fighter jet.
Get her - Little Miss Shit Wouldn't Melt In My Mouth! I think it's time we remove her from this complicated equation.
She's totally ruined this bra.
Well, fortunately for me, you and your bra, I have something that she wants.
I've got a lever, I just need to pull it.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm having a sleepover.
I mean, with Raquel, in her bed with her.
OK.
That's a good look for you.
I didn't have anything to sleep in.
Penguin or cow.
Penguin! Penguin every time.
Less bovine.
Do you want a beer? Sure.
Thanks.
Should we talk? About the other night, I mean.
Do we need to? I'd like to.
Really? Some things are better left unsaid.
Unspoken.
It's OK, I get it.
You're not interested, that's fine.
I wouldn't say I was totally uninterested.
So, you are interested? Define, "interested.
" You really need me to do that? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm being weird.
I got a lot on my mind.
It's been a weird few days.
What's going on? I'm sorry, it's OK.
I mean, you don't need to tell me.
It's none of my business.
It's my friend.
She's sick.
I'm really worried about her.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I've never had to worry about her before.
She could always look after herself.
She's always done exactly what she wanted.
How do you mean? Well, if she likes a guy, she makes sure they know about it.
You don't? Not as a general rule, no.
You just hang around in your penguin costume, hoping that the guy figures it out for himself? It doesn't usually involve a penguin onesie.
Suzanne's always saying I need to make some moves.
Sounds like solid advice.
Hm, they're getting jiggy.
Hi.
Hi.
You weren't up the hill today.
Erm, yeah, sorry.
I had to come back to town.
You should see the stars out here.
It's so clear.
When I'm back in town, maybe we could meet up? Yeah, I don't know, things are kind of crazy at the moment.
It it's just really, really bad timing.
You shared your hill with me, the least you could do is let me buy you a drink.
One drink, a shot.
But if you want to do down it and go, that's fine.
Hugely disappointing, but I'll get over it, eventually.
Do you want me to beg? OK.
Really? You made me a very happy man.
I'll call you.
OK, bye.
â« Tell me I'm a diva â« Take away my wings â« I know I give you fever tonight â« Dancing to my rhythm â« It's time for me to shine â« Shake it for the living â« Shout! â« I'm ready for the good life â« Where did you find him? Burger King.
Sorry.
So, it's OK to kidnap me and keep me prisoner, but it's not OK to see me pissing in a bucket? That's a fair point.
I brought you a little snack.
Ah, ah! Before you chow down, there's something I need you to do for me.
No such thing as a free lunch, right? I want you to call your little blonde friend, tell her where you are.
So, she'll try and rescue me and then you'll kill her? Well, I like to think it's a little more poetic and complicated than that.
Did you think I was keeping you alive for sheer entertainment value? Screw you! I won't do it! We'll see.
Give her a taste.
A little something to whet your appetite, get your juices flowing.
Let me know when you change your mind.
Help me! Oh, please! Please! Oh! You are one slutty little penguin.
You want to tell me what's going on? Or is this just how you roll out of bed after having sex with my brother? Cos the sneak-out, it's not cool.
I think I can see the future.
You can see the future? I don't know.
I think so.
It made me wet the bed.
You wee-ed on my brother? Not on him.
Next to him.
I couldn't be there when he woke up.
It's beyond embarrassing.
It could be worse.
It could have made you go number two.
God! Wanna fill me in on what you've been seeing? I'm curiouser than a cat.
The first time, I saw Suzanne eating cheese.
You saw visions of cheese? Not just cheese.
I saw Suzanne running through the woods and then it happened - I saw her running through the woods.
And so you saw people eating cheese and jogging.
She wasn't jogging.
It was the exact same moment.
Last night I saw a guy.
He was attacking you.
Who is he? I don't know.
It was like I was there but there was nothing I could do about it.
It's totally freaking me out.
I can't end up like my mum.
What, did she age really badly? I hear that happens to blonde women.
She said she could see the future.
I must get it from her.
She wasn't as crazy as I thought she was.
Well, there's one big difference between you and your mum.
Oh, yeah? And what's that? Your mum never had me, dumb-arse.
Right, come on.
Hug it out.
Come on.
Come get it.
Come get some Raquel love.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
â« Got the devil's disease â« I've got the jealous in me â« So to the jail I plead â« He put the devil in me â« When he said he would leave â« Don't let it end like this â« Without my kiss â« Oh, and you go â« You walk out on me, baby â« And leave me for another lady â« You are â« You are the devil in me.
â« Seriously? It looks like they're pouring out of her lady hole.
I thought that was the obvious place.
You think it should be her arsehole? No, I do not think it should be her arsehole! Does it have to be so anatomical? She's a gateway.
It's a metaphor.
OK.
I'll do it.
We can change the design of the flyer.
We have already printed the backdrop at the party venue.
Are you hearing me? I said I'll do it.
I'm coming! I swear to God, sometimes I feel like just fucking off to the Seychelles and just forgetting this entire thing! Right, come on, you, twinkle toes.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, awkward.
I'm going to get changed.
Kind of ridiculous walking around dressed as a cow.
Move, numb nuts.
Thank you.
So I woke up this morning and you weren't there.
I wasn't sure what to think.
I was just having a cup of tea.
Right.
Well, I just want to say that it's OK, don't worry about it.
The bedding.
- Yeah I'm sorry about that.
That only happens when it's really good.
Really? I made you? Oh, yeah.
Big-time.
Well, it was good for me, too.
It was great.
Sorry.
Hello? - Amy? It's me.
- Suzanne, where are you? I don't know.
They're keeping me in some old factory.
Can you see anything with an address on it? It's a letter.
83 Smith St, top floor.
They're coming.
Amy Nicely done.
Very convincing.
I'd believe you.
Suzanne? Suzanne?! Deal's a deal, right? No! You said I could feed! You'll feed soon enough.
Cross my heart.
OK, I have to go to the party venue, see about this backdrop.
Can you believe this shit? Gates of hell equals vagina.
It says a lot about the guy.
What should I do with him? Shouldn't have gone to Burger King.
â« I had me a boy, turned him into a man â« I showed him all the things that he didn't understand â« Whoa-oa â« Then I let him go â« You don't have to say anything.
I can tell.
It's all in the eyes.
And between her thighs.
That's fine.
It's a woman's right to choose badly.
I respect that.
It's interesting, though.
I said it's very interesting.
What's that? Well you spend the night with him but it's me you call when the shit's about to start flying.
Hitting fans and splattering faces.
Give it time.
These feelings have to run both ways otherwise it's just like masturbating into naan bread.
Why naan bread? Had an Indian takeaway last night.
Some leftovers.
Seemed a shame to waste it.
â« And the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me â« Like gho-o-osts they want me â« To make 'em all, all, all â« They won't let go â« Ex's and oh's â« I saw this building.
You really can see the future? What? Seriously? She's half-demon and you can see the future? Suddenly I'm feeling incredibly boring and inadequate.
You think I like it? You have no idea how lucky you are.
Suzanne says they're holding her on the top floor.
Sorry.
Sometimes I wish someone would just shove something in my mouth just to shut me up.
Like a dick.
- No.
Like a banana.
- Something dick-shaped, then.
An apple or a pear is fine.
Bitch.
Raquel! Suzanne.
Get Raquel.
Go! Are you OK? I was so worried about you.
You shouldn't have come.
I couldn't leave you here.
You wouldn't leave me.
Come on.
Suzanne, we have to go.
Shit.
She's gone.
Come on! They're coming.
Let's go.
Suzanne, get in.
I can't.
What are you talking about? I haven't fed.
Suzanne, get in.
You'll feed really soon, I promise.
Just hold on.
A few more seconds and we'll be out of here.
Hit it.
No.
They told me to do it.
They made me call you.
They said they'd feed me.
I'm so sorry.
Amy? Where are you? I'm with Suzanne.
We're in the lift.
It's stuck.
Ah I don't think I can fight this any longer.
Hey! Do you remember when we were eight, and Matt Lee pulled my knickers down when we were changing for PE? You kicked the shit out of that little pervert! You said, "I'll never let anyone hurt you.
" And you've never let anyone hurt me.
Ever.
Oh, this isn't me! Suzanne, Suzanne, Suzanne! Everything we've done, everything we've been through together.
I don't care how hungry you are, you're my best friend.
I've got you.
Amy! Raquel, get us out of here! Amy! Amy! Amy! I won't let the pricks do this to us.
We're better than them.
I have to feed.
No.
What we have can't end like this.
I won't let it.
Do it.
Amy? I love you.
I can't live this way.
No! My God, Amy! Oh, my God, I thought you were - You're bleeding.
I cut myself so Suzanne could feed.
Well, where is she? MUSIC: Goodnight Bad Morning by The Kills Oh Oh.
Oh, my God.
Ah, OK.
Ugh Is she dead? It's horrible.
Did you check for a pulse? The undead don't die so easily.
A pulse? Yeah.
Her body was here and her head was somewhere over there, and she didn't grow a really long neck.
You are more than welcome to go check for yourself.
â« Goodnight another bad morning â« So sorry.
You'd have to say that wasn't a total success.
Really? That little blonde bitch could seriously screw up our plans.
You think opening the gates of Hell is easy? You can't just give them a little push and Bob's your uncle! I swear to God, if I make it through Halloween without having a stroke it's going to be a miracle.
You clean that mess up and I will try and get our incredibly complicated plan back on track, huh? You think you can manage that? We're all over it.
I feel better.
Well, you can't bottle these things up, you know? It's not healthy.
We should jet wash these guys off the pavement.
It was my turn to look out for her.
I screwed it up.
Don't say that.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
I couldn't stop them killing my dad.
This shit isn't on us.
There is something we can do - we can find them and we can waste them.
I know you're upset, but you're not going to go all psycho on me, are you? No.
Going to go psycho on them.
Going to all that trouble with Suzanne, I mean, they really want to take you out.
Why? Think it's because of me.
My dad tried to warn me.
He said there's a real nasty prick out there.
â« We wake up tired â« We wake up tired again â« We wake up tired â« My head is in your hands â« Thanks for letting me stay.
Being in the flat without Suzanne It's cool.
You can stay as long as you want.
I always wanted to share my bed with a crazy seeing-the-future lady.
Not crazy.
Gifted.
And I always wanted to share a bed with a potty-mouthed half demon.
If we were gay, we'd be the world's freakiest lesbian couple.
Probably get some kind of prize.
Are you going out? It's Pilates.
You mind if I go? No, you should.
You sure? I mean, I Go.
OK.
I'll see you later.
â« Every night you've got to save me â« Every night you've got to save me â« Every night â« Every night â« Hi.
Hi.
Are you turning round, or do I just talk to your reflection? I'm turning.
Hi.
- Hi.
So, I think we've covered hi.
You look great.
Shut your face, idiot.
I did some brawly shit today.
He's not so good - his cat got run over.
Cat-murdering bitch.
It was a girlfriend.
Raquel! Raquel! Sorry He's the guy! The guy you got in the car with, he's the guy I saw attacking you! You have to get away from him! Just get away from him! Call me.
Is that Beyonce? It's Raquel.
Guess that makes more sense, cos she's a local.
â« I'm gonna catch ya â« I'm gonna get ya, get ya â« Oh, ah, oh â« I wanna taste the way that you bleed â« Oh â« You're my kill of the night.
â«
She's a bloodsucking monster.
She'll suck you dry.
- Got you.
Tyler says hi.
- Why does he say hi? Whoa, easy.
Who the hell are you? - I'm Harry.
Just meeting you like this.
I'm glad it happened.
Ah! Arrrgh! Ever since I was 14, I've been wasting these pricks.
Now, one of them saved my life.
Why would they do that? I couldn't let you kill Raquel.
Oh, she doesn't know it yet, but she's special.
Oh, she's a real game changer.
â« I'm going to catch you â« I'm going to get you Get you â« Oh, ah oh â« I want to taste the way that you bleed â« Oh, oh oh-oh â« You're my kill of the night.
â« She knows the pricks who took Suzanne.
She's going to tell us where they're holding her.
I need an ice pole.
For her, because she's a demon.
I can't tell who is a demon and who isn't.
What if you end up shoving something up someone who's not a demon? That'd be awkward.
OK, right, you go and wait in the car before I shove something in you.
You see someone coming in the house, you call us.
Oh, you make one joke.
Fine.
I'll go and wait in the car like an obedient, shitty little puppet.
Nice.
Yeah, I know.
You should see the art he brings home.
I've got no idea what any of it is, but it looks like he's on acid.
Well, do you want to get a coffee after drop-off? Yeah, we could go to the new place with the cupcakes.
OK, great.
She didn't.
Aw, no, no.
No-one's pelvic floor is what it used to be.
I got hiccups the other day.
Little bit of wee came out.
See you tomorrow.
All right, love, bye-bye.
Bedtime! Yes.
Mum? Who are they? They're friends of Mummy's.
You say hello.
Hello.
You all right? - Hi.
Why don't you let me put him to bed, and then we can talk? Let me put him to bed and then you can do what it is you need to do.
Please? OK.
Thank you.
That's your muffins to take to school tomorrow.
Don't let them burn.
Do you think one of you could take his muffins out the oven? We didn't come round to help out with your home baking.
You want to hurry this along, take the muffins out of the oven.
Mum, they're going to burn, Mum.
OK, OK.
Fine.
I'll get the muffins.
There's a cooling tray in the oven door.
Yeah, I think we're done with the muffin talk.
Your muffin days are over.
Amy, you OK? I'm fine! It's just the muffins! Are my muffins burned? No.
Say goodnight to Raquel.
Night-night.
- Night.
Sleep tight.
Mind the bedbugs don't bite, and if they do, squish them with a big book.
You listen to me, OK? No matter what you hear, you stay in bed.
How did you find me? You dropped your phone at the ice rink.
So, I guess I've got it coming for what I did to Sawyer? You've more than got it coming.
And I guarantee, it would hurt.
Like shooting a grapefruit in reverse.
But there is one way your little boy gets to keep his mum.
I'll do anything.
The pricks you're with, they took our friend.
Where are they keeping her? I don't know anything about that.
But I can find out.
I'll make some calls.
Raquel? Raquel, you OK? I'm going to need a minute.
OK, maybe more like 30.
Don't you even think about going up there on your own.
She's the only way of finding Suzanne.
You don't know I'm Sid the Snake.
I'm Sid the Snake.
Good try, cutie-pie.
You come to my home.
Where my son is.
You think this is about getting your friend back.
You have no idea what's coming down the track.
A big, nasty-ass train full of demons! Ahhh! Where's my friend?! I don't know.
- Where is she? Where is she?! - Mum? Situation critical.
Over and out.
The kid starts crying or does anything even vaguely annoying, you're going to a hotel.
Is he going to piss or shit himself? Because that's 800 count Egyptian cotton.
Do you want to stop being a total dick and pour me a glass of wine? Hm.
I don't think you should be on your own.
You can stay at mine? We could have a sleepover? We'll brush each other's hair and shit.
Will your brother be there? He's at work.
He'll be back later.
OK.
I'll call you.
Amy? I know you're probably about to go do some heavy petting I intimate touching I oral pleasure / full penetrative sexual intercourse, but before you do that, just give me a chance to set out my stall, so you can make an informed choice.
An informed choice? Between me and her dickhead brother.
Yeah, yeah, cos he's the dickhead in the mix.
Jake I know sometimes I can be rude, graphically, vulgar, cock-mouthed, but my heart is pure.
I'd never hurt you.
I'd never shit on you, in either the metaphorical or literal sense of the word.
I love you.
So, there you go.
Just putting that out there.
Jake I really like you, as a friend.
It's a big decision.
It's huge.
Take your time.
I'm sorry.
Night.
Nice try, man.
I'll find you something to sleep in.
I can't stop thinking about Suzanne.
What if they've already killed her? If they wanted to kill her, they could've done it in the forest.
I still don't get why they took her and left me.
The demon single mum said something about, "big nasty-arse train full of demons.
" I'm pretty sure that's not an actual train.
Well, they're not usually this organised.
We need to be ready to kick some arse, because shit is about to get nasty.
Penguin or cow? - Penguin.
- Right.
Ooh! When you went after the she-prick on your own like that, that was very definitely kick arse.
So, I'm not just a wet, delusional, shitty little princess with a big spoon face? I think you can do better with spoon face, but the attitude? It's a whole new you.
Ooh, erm I feel like my little girl grew a set of balls - lady balls.
That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hm.
Shall I make is some tea? Yeah, it'd be great actually, if you could.
That'd be lovely.
It's a '98 Petrus.
It's really excellent.
You clearly appreciate fine wine! Help yourself.
Raquel came to my home.
My boy was there.
Do you see me losing my shit and showing myself? No.
When I feel it building up inside, I find myself an innocent bystander and beat them to death with my bare hands and relax.
I want to suck the life out of her and spit her into the underworld.
Well, for very obvious reasons, I can't let that happen.
You know how important she is.
Why can't you just lock her in a basement until you need her? Raquel is like a fine wine - she needs time to develop and mature.
We lock her in a basement shitting in a bucket, she won't be in the right place emotionally.
Just chill out.
"Chill out"? Chill out?! That blonde bitch tried to strangle me, with a toy snake! I think one of your tits is bleeding.
She stabbed me with an F-15 fighter jet.
Get her - Little Miss Shit Wouldn't Melt In My Mouth! I think it's time we remove her from this complicated equation.
She's totally ruined this bra.
Well, fortunately for me, you and your bra, I have something that she wants.
I've got a lever, I just need to pull it.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm having a sleepover.
I mean, with Raquel, in her bed with her.
OK.
That's a good look for you.
I didn't have anything to sleep in.
Penguin or cow.
Penguin! Penguin every time.
Less bovine.
Do you want a beer? Sure.
Thanks.
Should we talk? About the other night, I mean.
Do we need to? I'd like to.
Really? Some things are better left unsaid.
Unspoken.
It's OK, I get it.
You're not interested, that's fine.
I wouldn't say I was totally uninterested.
So, you are interested? Define, "interested.
" You really need me to do that? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm being weird.
I got a lot on my mind.
It's been a weird few days.
What's going on? I'm sorry, it's OK.
I mean, you don't need to tell me.
It's none of my business.
It's my friend.
She's sick.
I'm really worried about her.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I've never had to worry about her before.
She could always look after herself.
She's always done exactly what she wanted.
How do you mean? Well, if she likes a guy, she makes sure they know about it.
You don't? Not as a general rule, no.
You just hang around in your penguin costume, hoping that the guy figures it out for himself? It doesn't usually involve a penguin onesie.
Suzanne's always saying I need to make some moves.
Sounds like solid advice.
Hm, they're getting jiggy.
Hi.
Hi.
You weren't up the hill today.
Erm, yeah, sorry.
I had to come back to town.
You should see the stars out here.
It's so clear.
When I'm back in town, maybe we could meet up? Yeah, I don't know, things are kind of crazy at the moment.
It it's just really, really bad timing.
You shared your hill with me, the least you could do is let me buy you a drink.
One drink, a shot.
But if you want to do down it and go, that's fine.
Hugely disappointing, but I'll get over it, eventually.
Do you want me to beg? OK.
Really? You made me a very happy man.
I'll call you.
OK, bye.
â« Tell me I'm a diva â« Take away my wings â« I know I give you fever tonight â« Dancing to my rhythm â« It's time for me to shine â« Shake it for the living â« Shout! â« I'm ready for the good life â« Where did you find him? Burger King.
Sorry.
So, it's OK to kidnap me and keep me prisoner, but it's not OK to see me pissing in a bucket? That's a fair point.
I brought you a little snack.
Ah, ah! Before you chow down, there's something I need you to do for me.
No such thing as a free lunch, right? I want you to call your little blonde friend, tell her where you are.
So, she'll try and rescue me and then you'll kill her? Well, I like to think it's a little more poetic and complicated than that.
Did you think I was keeping you alive for sheer entertainment value? Screw you! I won't do it! We'll see.
Give her a taste.
A little something to whet your appetite, get your juices flowing.
Let me know when you change your mind.
Help me! Oh, please! Please! Oh! You are one slutty little penguin.
You want to tell me what's going on? Or is this just how you roll out of bed after having sex with my brother? Cos the sneak-out, it's not cool.
I think I can see the future.
You can see the future? I don't know.
I think so.
It made me wet the bed.
You wee-ed on my brother? Not on him.
Next to him.
I couldn't be there when he woke up.
It's beyond embarrassing.
It could be worse.
It could have made you go number two.
God! Wanna fill me in on what you've been seeing? I'm curiouser than a cat.
The first time, I saw Suzanne eating cheese.
You saw visions of cheese? Not just cheese.
I saw Suzanne running through the woods and then it happened - I saw her running through the woods.
And so you saw people eating cheese and jogging.
She wasn't jogging.
It was the exact same moment.
Last night I saw a guy.
He was attacking you.
Who is he? I don't know.
It was like I was there but there was nothing I could do about it.
It's totally freaking me out.
I can't end up like my mum.
What, did she age really badly? I hear that happens to blonde women.
She said she could see the future.
I must get it from her.
She wasn't as crazy as I thought she was.
Well, there's one big difference between you and your mum.
Oh, yeah? And what's that? Your mum never had me, dumb-arse.
Right, come on.
Hug it out.
Come on.
Come get it.
Come get some Raquel love.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
Come get it.
â« Got the devil's disease â« I've got the jealous in me â« So to the jail I plead â« He put the devil in me â« When he said he would leave â« Don't let it end like this â« Without my kiss â« Oh, and you go â« You walk out on me, baby â« And leave me for another lady â« You are â« You are the devil in me.
â« Seriously? It looks like they're pouring out of her lady hole.
I thought that was the obvious place.
You think it should be her arsehole? No, I do not think it should be her arsehole! Does it have to be so anatomical? She's a gateway.
It's a metaphor.
OK.
I'll do it.
We can change the design of the flyer.
We have already printed the backdrop at the party venue.
Are you hearing me? I said I'll do it.
I'm coming! I swear to God, sometimes I feel like just fucking off to the Seychelles and just forgetting this entire thing! Right, come on, you, twinkle toes.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, awkward.
I'm going to get changed.
Kind of ridiculous walking around dressed as a cow.
Move, numb nuts.
Thank you.
So I woke up this morning and you weren't there.
I wasn't sure what to think.
I was just having a cup of tea.
Right.
Well, I just want to say that it's OK, don't worry about it.
The bedding.
- Yeah I'm sorry about that.
That only happens when it's really good.
Really? I made you? Oh, yeah.
Big-time.
Well, it was good for me, too.
It was great.
Sorry.
Hello? - Amy? It's me.
- Suzanne, where are you? I don't know.
They're keeping me in some old factory.
Can you see anything with an address on it? It's a letter.
83 Smith St, top floor.
They're coming.
Amy Nicely done.
Very convincing.
I'd believe you.
Suzanne? Suzanne?! Deal's a deal, right? No! You said I could feed! You'll feed soon enough.
Cross my heart.
OK, I have to go to the party venue, see about this backdrop.
Can you believe this shit? Gates of hell equals vagina.
It says a lot about the guy.
What should I do with him? Shouldn't have gone to Burger King.
â« I had me a boy, turned him into a man â« I showed him all the things that he didn't understand â« Whoa-oa â« Then I let him go â« You don't have to say anything.
I can tell.
It's all in the eyes.
And between her thighs.
That's fine.
It's a woman's right to choose badly.
I respect that.
It's interesting, though.
I said it's very interesting.
What's that? Well you spend the night with him but it's me you call when the shit's about to start flying.
Hitting fans and splattering faces.
Give it time.
These feelings have to run both ways otherwise it's just like masturbating into naan bread.
Why naan bread? Had an Indian takeaway last night.
Some leftovers.
Seemed a shame to waste it.
â« And the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me â« Like gho-o-osts they want me â« To make 'em all, all, all â« They won't let go â« Ex's and oh's â« I saw this building.
You really can see the future? What? Seriously? She's half-demon and you can see the future? Suddenly I'm feeling incredibly boring and inadequate.
You think I like it? You have no idea how lucky you are.
Suzanne says they're holding her on the top floor.
Sorry.
Sometimes I wish someone would just shove something in my mouth just to shut me up.
Like a dick.
- No.
Like a banana.
- Something dick-shaped, then.
An apple or a pear is fine.
Bitch.
Raquel! Suzanne.
Get Raquel.
Go! Are you OK? I was so worried about you.
You shouldn't have come.
I couldn't leave you here.
You wouldn't leave me.
Come on.
Suzanne, we have to go.
Shit.
She's gone.
Come on! They're coming.
Let's go.
Suzanne, get in.
I can't.
What are you talking about? I haven't fed.
Suzanne, get in.
You'll feed really soon, I promise.
Just hold on.
A few more seconds and we'll be out of here.
Hit it.
No.
They told me to do it.
They made me call you.
They said they'd feed me.
I'm so sorry.
Amy? Where are you? I'm with Suzanne.
We're in the lift.
It's stuck.
Ah I don't think I can fight this any longer.
Hey! Do you remember when we were eight, and Matt Lee pulled my knickers down when we were changing for PE? You kicked the shit out of that little pervert! You said, "I'll never let anyone hurt you.
" And you've never let anyone hurt me.
Ever.
Oh, this isn't me! Suzanne, Suzanne, Suzanne! Everything we've done, everything we've been through together.
I don't care how hungry you are, you're my best friend.
I've got you.
Amy! Raquel, get us out of here! Amy! Amy! Amy! I won't let the pricks do this to us.
We're better than them.
I have to feed.
No.
What we have can't end like this.
I won't let it.
Do it.
Amy? I love you.
I can't live this way.
No! My God, Amy! Oh, my God, I thought you were - You're bleeding.
I cut myself so Suzanne could feed.
Well, where is she? MUSIC: Goodnight Bad Morning by The Kills Oh Oh.
Oh, my God.
Ah, OK.
Ugh Is she dead? It's horrible.
Did you check for a pulse? The undead don't die so easily.
A pulse? Yeah.
Her body was here and her head was somewhere over there, and she didn't grow a really long neck.
You are more than welcome to go check for yourself.
â« Goodnight another bad morning â« So sorry.
You'd have to say that wasn't a total success.
Really? That little blonde bitch could seriously screw up our plans.
You think opening the gates of Hell is easy? You can't just give them a little push and Bob's your uncle! I swear to God, if I make it through Halloween without having a stroke it's going to be a miracle.
You clean that mess up and I will try and get our incredibly complicated plan back on track, huh? You think you can manage that? We're all over it.
I feel better.
Well, you can't bottle these things up, you know? It's not healthy.
We should jet wash these guys off the pavement.
It was my turn to look out for her.
I screwed it up.
Don't say that.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
I couldn't stop them killing my dad.
This shit isn't on us.
There is something we can do - we can find them and we can waste them.
I know you're upset, but you're not going to go all psycho on me, are you? No.
Going to go psycho on them.
Going to all that trouble with Suzanne, I mean, they really want to take you out.
Why? Think it's because of me.
My dad tried to warn me.
He said there's a real nasty prick out there.
â« We wake up tired â« We wake up tired again â« We wake up tired â« My head is in your hands â« Thanks for letting me stay.
Being in the flat without Suzanne It's cool.
You can stay as long as you want.
I always wanted to share my bed with a crazy seeing-the-future lady.
Not crazy.
Gifted.
And I always wanted to share a bed with a potty-mouthed half demon.
If we were gay, we'd be the world's freakiest lesbian couple.
Probably get some kind of prize.
Are you going out? It's Pilates.
You mind if I go? No, you should.
You sure? I mean, I Go.
OK.
I'll see you later.
â« Every night you've got to save me â« Every night you've got to save me â« Every night â« Every night â« Hi.
Hi.
Are you turning round, or do I just talk to your reflection? I'm turning.
Hi.
- Hi.
So, I think we've covered hi.
You look great.
Shut your face, idiot.
I did some brawly shit today.
He's not so good - his cat got run over.
Cat-murdering bitch.
It was a girlfriend.
Raquel! Raquel! Sorry He's the guy! The guy you got in the car with, he's the guy I saw attacking you! You have to get away from him! Just get away from him! Call me.
Is that Beyonce? It's Raquel.
Guess that makes more sense, cos she's a local.
â« I'm gonna catch ya â« I'm gonna get ya, get ya â« Oh, ah, oh â« I wanna taste the way that you bleed â« Oh â« You're my kill of the night.
â«