Dates (2013) s01e04 Episode Script
Erica and Kate
Hey! Over here! Kate? Sorry for grabbing you like that.
It's Erica, right? Hi.
Hi.
Nice place, yeah? It's Yeah.
Drinks? Sure.
It's a crazy place.
Yeah.
It is.
Come on.
The cocktails here are really great.
Ever been to a molecular mixology bar? It's really cool.
They use chemicals and foams, dry ice and stuff.
Right.
And salmon jerky? It's imaginative.
OK.
I can deal with that.
What can I get you, ladies? Um, I usually get the Backwards Bellini.
What about you? Er I'll go for jerky.
Why not? Cool.
Let's get comfortable.
Where shall we sit? Anywhere's good.
Happy here? Yeah.
What? Here we go.
One salmon jerky, and a Bellini.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
And here are some menus Want to eat? Oh Are we doing food? I can come back No, it's fine.
Er, we'll start with the charcuterie platter OK.
And then some sweet anchovies, pea and beet fritters and some fries.
Great.
You want fries? Sure.
No problem.
You like being told what to do? I find it's easier.
Yeah.
Easier? For me.
For everyone.
OK.
So let's keep it easy.
Anything else? Yeah.
You can take away that fish drink.
It's making her wince.
I'm sorry.
No problem.
Bellini? Yeah.
You girls enjoy yourselves.
Cute.
He's all right.
I expect you've introduced a lot of girls to the Backwards Bellini.
Probably less than you think.
I'm not sure.
I think it's a few.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
It's fine.
Take the call.
It's just my brother.
I'll call him back later.
He's being a twat, as usual.
Are you close? You and your brother? Oh, you know.
Family.
They can be a bit intense.
It must be nice.
I see my parents, like, twice a year, if they're willing, which they're not.
Why's that? Ring your brother.
Like I said, he's being a twat.
Where were we? I dunno.
Am I going wrong? No, you, you're fine.
I like this.
What is it? Oh.
Something I bought in Tuscany last summer.
I wear it a lot.
It's nice.
Yeah.
I didn't mean to buy it.
I was in Arezzo, looking for this stupid cheese shop when when I passed this young girl, seven or eight years old, selling these just off the road.
Just her and her dad sitting on plastic milk crates, making these together.
I stood there for ages watching and they didn't even glance at me.
That's sweet.
I know it's nothing special, but she had such a beautiful smile, this kid.
You must think I'm a idiot.
Not at all.
Oh, I am.
I am.
I don't know why I'm telling you stuff like that.
It's these dates.
Everything moves so fast.
Yeah.
I know Too much, too soon? No.
No.
It's actually not.
Say something now.
I'm I'm blushing.
OK.
Tuscany, must have been perfect.
Yeah.
That was a weird holiday.
I broke up with my ex on the plane coming back.
Oh.
Sorry, talk of exes.
Naughty of me.
He sort of thought we'd end up together.
But whatever.
We didn't.
He? Yeah.
Right.
I thought you said that.
Yes.
Well, that's You go out with boys? Can we not do this? I'm not doing anything.
You're the one dating girls and screwing guys.
It's, it's complicated.
I'm so sick of women who go this way and that on a whim.
It's not complicated.
It's annoying and not honest.
Says who? Yeah, I see men from time to time.
Well, I'm sorry, but girls who date guys just aren't my thing.
I'm with you now.
We're having a good time.
Maybe you're just straight and bored.
So what? Either way, it's none of your fucking business.
What are you doing? Pass me my bag, please? You're leaving? Just like that? You know, you're only proving me right.
I can't be the first girl to call you on this.
You're rude.
You don't even know me.
Just wait.
Why? Because there's something's going on here.
Isn't there? Here we go.
Charcuterie, anchovies, olives, pea and beet fritters, a side of chips on the way.
You've got some mayo, dips, chilli, tomato and there's your Bellini.
There you go.
Is everything good? Everything's good.
Thanks.
Enjoy.
Let's get drunk.
You were right about these cocktails.
Whoa! Yeah, they pack a punch.
Drink some water.
I'm fine.
Really.
I'm just going to keep on drinking until Yeah.
What is it? No, no, I can't talk right now.
Sorry about that.
He calls a lot.
Yeah? He just wants me to be happy.
Well, you don't sound very happy when he calls.
I want to know why you're so angry.
I'm not angry.
No offence, Kate, but you seem like an angry lesbian with a dick complex.
I'm not the one that has to worry about dick.
Tell me, how many girls have you actually slept with? Er, what's that got to do with anything? Is it any? Have you actually slept with any women? OK, now you're being rude again.
I'm just trying to work out why you're here.
We didn't order that.
No, this is from the guys over there.
Take it away.
We can buy our own drinks.
Don't be silly.
Leave it with us.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Go with the flow.
Cheers.
Chill out.
No need to be rude.
Oh, God.
Don't.
What? They're just boys out.
Be gracious.
OK.
What are you doing? Being gracious.
Shit.
Hi.
Hey.
Who are you? I'm Kate and this is Erica.
Cool.
Christopher.
Richard.
So, you girls looked a little lonely over there.
Well, we just came by to say thanks for the drinks.
No problem.
Sorted.
Well, you guys enjoy yourselves.
Hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's it? Is there something we can do for you? I dunno, er How about a dance? Hm? I reckon you, in particular, could use a dance.
Sure.
Let's do it.
OK.
Hi.
Er, Chris.
Come on.
Hi.
How long have you been watching me? Only a little while.
You looked like you needed some rest.
I did.
Check out's in two hours if you want to sleep some more.
Cool.
Hey.
We had a nice time, right? Yeah, it's just I have to get going soon.
What do you usually do now? Usually I go home.
Is that what you're going to do? I guess.
If you're trying to get rid of me quickly, you're doing a banging job.
Come here.
Ask me anything.
Hmm? Just ask me something, and I'll answer.
Go on.
What do you hate most about yourself? I'm a really good liar.
Are you? Who do you lie to? Myself, mainly.
But also pretty much everyone else.
So why would I ask you something if you can't tell the truth? Because I like you.
It might be different with you.
Ask me something else.
What do your family think about this? About who you are? They don't know, do they? Kate, you don't understand.
My family loves me.
They really love me.
Can't you see how important that is? Whatever.
Is this what you do? You pick a fight and then you run? Give me a reason to stay.
Because I don't know when I can do this again.
Erica, you can do what you like.
Don't you understand that? The world won't stop turning.
Three.
What? You wanted to know how many girls I've been with.
Three.
There was one six years ago.
I was crazy about her.
Then there was a girl at the gym last year.
Right.
Is that true? Because it's a little Yeah.
I know.
So can we just stay here a little? Then you can go.
Promise.
And the third one.
What's she like? I don't know.
Jury's out.
Her case needs a little reviewing.
Oh, yeah? No, no.
Just ignore it.
Just Hey, what is it? 'Where are you?' No, I'm fine.
I-I just stayed out late.
'Why won't you tell me where you are?' No, I couldn't ring.
'Why not? Why not?' I just couldn't.
'You haven't forgotten we're meeting Mum at three?' Just tell Mum I'll be there at three.
Fuck this.
'Who's that?' Nothing.
That was nobody.
'Erica.
Erica! You really need to be there.
' OK.
OK.
Yeah.
I've got to go.
Yes.
Fine.
Fine.
I've got to go.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm staying.
I'm right here.
It's OK.
I understand I've got to go cos I've got a life where people know who I am.
Your family don't talk to you.
So don't tell me you don't know what this is about.
Kate, please.
Just tell me what you want and I'll do it.
Just say what you need to say.
It's nothing.
It's just words.
Just tell me some truth, for fuck's sake! I want you to stay.
No.
That's not it.
Jesus! I want it in this room.
I'm gay.
Yes! Big deal! And? I see guys to keep my family happy.
To make them think I'm not a disgrace.
To make them think I don't love women.
Anything else? I rationalise it all.
And it makes me feel like shit.
Thank Christ.
Now, can you put some clothes on so we can go get some fucking brunch? Brunch? Yeah.
Erica.
'Erica?' 'Erica?' Hello? 'Erica, 'I love you but you can't do this.
'You can't do it.
'Do you understand? You can't do this.
I'm sorry but you can't.
' What is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me.
Is there, like, a special category that you women look for to find mugs like me?
It's Erica, right? Hi.
Hi.
Nice place, yeah? It's Yeah.
Drinks? Sure.
It's a crazy place.
Yeah.
It is.
Come on.
The cocktails here are really great.
Ever been to a molecular mixology bar? It's really cool.
They use chemicals and foams, dry ice and stuff.
Right.
And salmon jerky? It's imaginative.
OK.
I can deal with that.
What can I get you, ladies? Um, I usually get the Backwards Bellini.
What about you? Er I'll go for jerky.
Why not? Cool.
Let's get comfortable.
Where shall we sit? Anywhere's good.
Happy here? Yeah.
What? Here we go.
One salmon jerky, and a Bellini.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
And here are some menus Want to eat? Oh Are we doing food? I can come back No, it's fine.
Er, we'll start with the charcuterie platter OK.
And then some sweet anchovies, pea and beet fritters and some fries.
Great.
You want fries? Sure.
No problem.
You like being told what to do? I find it's easier.
Yeah.
Easier? For me.
For everyone.
OK.
So let's keep it easy.
Anything else? Yeah.
You can take away that fish drink.
It's making her wince.
I'm sorry.
No problem.
Bellini? Yeah.
You girls enjoy yourselves.
Cute.
He's all right.
I expect you've introduced a lot of girls to the Backwards Bellini.
Probably less than you think.
I'm not sure.
I think it's a few.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
It's fine.
Take the call.
It's just my brother.
I'll call him back later.
He's being a twat, as usual.
Are you close? You and your brother? Oh, you know.
Family.
They can be a bit intense.
It must be nice.
I see my parents, like, twice a year, if they're willing, which they're not.
Why's that? Ring your brother.
Like I said, he's being a twat.
Where were we? I dunno.
Am I going wrong? No, you, you're fine.
I like this.
What is it? Oh.
Something I bought in Tuscany last summer.
I wear it a lot.
It's nice.
Yeah.
I didn't mean to buy it.
I was in Arezzo, looking for this stupid cheese shop when when I passed this young girl, seven or eight years old, selling these just off the road.
Just her and her dad sitting on plastic milk crates, making these together.
I stood there for ages watching and they didn't even glance at me.
That's sweet.
I know it's nothing special, but she had such a beautiful smile, this kid.
You must think I'm a idiot.
Not at all.
Oh, I am.
I am.
I don't know why I'm telling you stuff like that.
It's these dates.
Everything moves so fast.
Yeah.
I know Too much, too soon? No.
No.
It's actually not.
Say something now.
I'm I'm blushing.
OK.
Tuscany, must have been perfect.
Yeah.
That was a weird holiday.
I broke up with my ex on the plane coming back.
Oh.
Sorry, talk of exes.
Naughty of me.
He sort of thought we'd end up together.
But whatever.
We didn't.
He? Yeah.
Right.
I thought you said that.
Yes.
Well, that's You go out with boys? Can we not do this? I'm not doing anything.
You're the one dating girls and screwing guys.
It's, it's complicated.
I'm so sick of women who go this way and that on a whim.
It's not complicated.
It's annoying and not honest.
Says who? Yeah, I see men from time to time.
Well, I'm sorry, but girls who date guys just aren't my thing.
I'm with you now.
We're having a good time.
Maybe you're just straight and bored.
So what? Either way, it's none of your fucking business.
What are you doing? Pass me my bag, please? You're leaving? Just like that? You know, you're only proving me right.
I can't be the first girl to call you on this.
You're rude.
You don't even know me.
Just wait.
Why? Because there's something's going on here.
Isn't there? Here we go.
Charcuterie, anchovies, olives, pea and beet fritters, a side of chips on the way.
You've got some mayo, dips, chilli, tomato and there's your Bellini.
There you go.
Is everything good? Everything's good.
Thanks.
Enjoy.
Let's get drunk.
You were right about these cocktails.
Whoa! Yeah, they pack a punch.
Drink some water.
I'm fine.
Really.
I'm just going to keep on drinking until Yeah.
What is it? No, no, I can't talk right now.
Sorry about that.
He calls a lot.
Yeah? He just wants me to be happy.
Well, you don't sound very happy when he calls.
I want to know why you're so angry.
I'm not angry.
No offence, Kate, but you seem like an angry lesbian with a dick complex.
I'm not the one that has to worry about dick.
Tell me, how many girls have you actually slept with? Er, what's that got to do with anything? Is it any? Have you actually slept with any women? OK, now you're being rude again.
I'm just trying to work out why you're here.
We didn't order that.
No, this is from the guys over there.
Take it away.
We can buy our own drinks.
Don't be silly.
Leave it with us.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Go with the flow.
Cheers.
Chill out.
No need to be rude.
Oh, God.
Don't.
What? They're just boys out.
Be gracious.
OK.
What are you doing? Being gracious.
Shit.
Hi.
Hey.
Who are you? I'm Kate and this is Erica.
Cool.
Christopher.
Richard.
So, you girls looked a little lonely over there.
Well, we just came by to say thanks for the drinks.
No problem.
Sorted.
Well, you guys enjoy yourselves.
Hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's it? Is there something we can do for you? I dunno, er How about a dance? Hm? I reckon you, in particular, could use a dance.
Sure.
Let's do it.
OK.
Hi.
Er, Chris.
Come on.
Hi.
How long have you been watching me? Only a little while.
You looked like you needed some rest.
I did.
Check out's in two hours if you want to sleep some more.
Cool.
Hey.
We had a nice time, right? Yeah, it's just I have to get going soon.
What do you usually do now? Usually I go home.
Is that what you're going to do? I guess.
If you're trying to get rid of me quickly, you're doing a banging job.
Come here.
Ask me anything.
Hmm? Just ask me something, and I'll answer.
Go on.
What do you hate most about yourself? I'm a really good liar.
Are you? Who do you lie to? Myself, mainly.
But also pretty much everyone else.
So why would I ask you something if you can't tell the truth? Because I like you.
It might be different with you.
Ask me something else.
What do your family think about this? About who you are? They don't know, do they? Kate, you don't understand.
My family loves me.
They really love me.
Can't you see how important that is? Whatever.
Is this what you do? You pick a fight and then you run? Give me a reason to stay.
Because I don't know when I can do this again.
Erica, you can do what you like.
Don't you understand that? The world won't stop turning.
Three.
What? You wanted to know how many girls I've been with.
Three.
There was one six years ago.
I was crazy about her.
Then there was a girl at the gym last year.
Right.
Is that true? Because it's a little Yeah.
I know.
So can we just stay here a little? Then you can go.
Promise.
And the third one.
What's she like? I don't know.
Jury's out.
Her case needs a little reviewing.
Oh, yeah? No, no.
Just ignore it.
Just Hey, what is it? 'Where are you?' No, I'm fine.
I-I just stayed out late.
'Why won't you tell me where you are?' No, I couldn't ring.
'Why not? Why not?' I just couldn't.
'You haven't forgotten we're meeting Mum at three?' Just tell Mum I'll be there at three.
Fuck this.
'Who's that?' Nothing.
That was nobody.
'Erica.
Erica! You really need to be there.
' OK.
OK.
Yeah.
I've got to go.
Yes.
Fine.
Fine.
I've got to go.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm staying.
I'm right here.
It's OK.
I understand I've got to go cos I've got a life where people know who I am.
Your family don't talk to you.
So don't tell me you don't know what this is about.
Kate, please.
Just tell me what you want and I'll do it.
Just say what you need to say.
It's nothing.
It's just words.
Just tell me some truth, for fuck's sake! I want you to stay.
No.
That's not it.
Jesus! I want it in this room.
I'm gay.
Yes! Big deal! And? I see guys to keep my family happy.
To make them think I'm not a disgrace.
To make them think I don't love women.
Anything else? I rationalise it all.
And it makes me feel like shit.
Thank Christ.
Now, can you put some clothes on so we can go get some fucking brunch? Brunch? Yeah.
Erica.
'Erica?' 'Erica?' Hello? 'Erica, 'I love you but you can't do this.
'You can't do it.
'Do you understand? You can't do this.
I'm sorry but you can't.
' What is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me.
Is there, like, a special category that you women look for to find mugs like me?