Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (2022) s01e04 Episode Script

# There's three of us, there's three
of us
# Look closely, you will see
# There's three of us, just three of
us
# There's him and you and me
#And every day we all hang out to
find out what we talk about
# And every day's a new surprise
# When you're learning with us guys
# We live in an actual nightmare
# There's three of us, just three of
us, us three. #
Yay! It's computer day.
All right, let's do this. I'm on
keys.
You got the mouse? Yeah.
Both hands for complete control.
You won't get away from me
this year.
Hey, nice grip.
Thank you. And the password?
Me? But II don't know the
password.
What? That's your only thing.
You came up with it.
You're supposed to remember it.
Oh, yeah.
Well, what is it? Come on, think it
through.
Hurry up. We need to get online.
I don't want people going
around saying we're not online.
Well, I'm trying.
Maybemaybe it's my name.
Try my name.
Yeah, OK. That makes sense.
Did you remember the hyphen?
Yeah. Yeah, the hyphen.
There. Oh, good try, but sorry.
Oh. I know. Try my name.
Oh, yeah. OK.
Congratulations. Yay!
Your account is now blocked.
Oh. But don't worry.
You can still get online.
ALL: Yay!
I'm just going to have to ask
you a few questions to make sure
that you're really you.
Of course we're us, aren't we?
Yeah. Great news, select all the
panels that contain an image
of a lovely red apple.
Oh, I'm good at these.
OK. Well. Ooh. Careful.
Ooh. Yeah. Keep going. huh?
Oh, yeah. You are good.
OK, so that's definitely the pig.
Yes. Yeah. Great job. Thank you.
Now use your cursor to drag
the apple through the market
to the correct stall. Easy.
Careful. Hang on.
Oh. What?
Oh. Oh. Not quite.
Oh, dear. You have upset the
market man.
Thanks to you, I am a figure
of ridicule
within the market community.
What? I will burn down my
orchard tonight.
No, I demand a rematch.
Oh, well, I guess computer
day is cancelled this year.
Hey, maybe we can bring
forward invoice day.
No, that's baked in for tomorrow.
Oh, this is all my fault. Why can't
I remember the password?
Stupid brain. I know it's in there.
Stupid, stupid. Hey, come on.
It's not your fault.
You're just a BLEEP.
Yeah. You can't help it.
You're just a BLEEP.
OK. Stop. Did you see what just
happened there?
Me too.
Now, I'd like you to ask
yourself this question.
Was that the right way to treat
somebody, or was it actually
really hurtful and horrible?
Now let's see how that should
have gone.
Stupid. Stupid.
It's not your fault.
You're just a BLEEP.
How dare you?
And how dare you speak to me
like that?
I refuse to be disrespected
ever again.
I tried to destroy your reputation
and I would like to apologise.
I was being a bad friend and I am
ashamed of what I have done.
Is that supposed to be me?
Because you know what?
Have you ever felt like your
friend
Who is that? I don't know,
I think it's an insane person.
What are you supposed to be?
I'm Warren the eagle. Fully
qualified friendship expert.
Yeah. Eurgh, why is it wet?
Business cards should be crisp.
I should make it clear from the
outset that although I'm no
longer officially affiliated
with the OK Stop Organisation,
I am still absolutely within my
rights to continue to use their
learning
materials and branding. OK.
Sorry. Did you say eagle? Yeah.
Eagles have wings.
That's right, yeah.
And some eagles wings,
they just take a bit
longer to sprout.
So when they do, they're going to be
bigger and stronger than normal.
Listen, we're kind of in the middle
of something here.
Um, today's actually our
computer day.
Oh, I can see you're right
in the middle of something, mate.
A string of vicious personal attacks
on someone you call a friend
but would a good friend Hold on,
are you saying we're the bad
friends?
It's him who couldn't remember
the password.
Oh, really? So even though I'm not
technically affiliated with the OK
Stop
organisation, you don't think I'd
know when I saw a bad friendship?
He's a sort of freelancer.
Freelancers deserve to die.
He's going on fire.
Just stop talking amongst
yourselves.
OK, just pay attention. Right, now,
here's a quick story that might make
you think twice
about being a bad friend.
I hate this guy. And yeah, maybe
when,
when it's finished, we could all get
a quick meal, restaurant style meal,
if you wanted.
See. With you? Yeah, erm
But we don't even know who you are.
OK, don't talk over it.
# Once upon a time, there was a guy
that I knew and he had a group
# Of best friends, it's true
# They would talk on the phone,
hello. And meet up for lunch,
# Yum, yum. They'd even stay up all
night just for a laugh
# But every now and then he would
feel a bit down when he felt
# Like his friends weren't
treating him right
# He was having a hard time with
some issues at work and he asked
# Them for help with a business idea
and they turned down his offer
# Without even listening properly
because they don't have business
# Brains like mehim
# So one day #
What is this? His backstory?
We're supposed to be online.
Excuse me.
# Being good mates. #
Sorry. Can I just stop you there?
# And they asked for
forgiveness #
How long is this going to last?
# Way too late for that guys
# You've got to be better best
friends
Yeah, sorry, but we just do not
have time for whatever this is.
OK, I get it.
You don't think it was an
interesting story?
Not really. It's clearly about you.
Well, would it surprise you to know
that the guy in that story
was actually You. ..me?
Well, yeah.
I mean, you did some of it
in first person.
The thing in the animation
looked like OK, Stop.
That's right. Believe it or not
But how could a confident,
handsome wormeagle
have trouble keeping friends?
Good question. Because of the way
you look.
The way I
You know, sort of lumpy and red raw.
Yeah.
You look like a bit of a bigger
animal that fell off or was removed
and then came to life.
It's actually More like an old
person's finger.
Reminds me of an infection I had up
my
Or was it the voice?
He looks like a tumour. And he
stinks.
I know. It's because you've got
beady eyes like a rat.
But you're just generally unlikeable
in a way that's hard to pin down.
What's he doing?
Looks like he's in pain.
Are you dying? I'm actually
laughing.
Doesn't bother me at all.
If I was bothered by that kind
of thing, do you think
I'd be laughing about it?
No. And do you know why
that doesn't bother me?
Because I have something
called Rateye.
Not rateye.
That's it, that's the password.
Rateye. Your maiden name?
Of course. Hey, it worked.
We're online.
Hold on a sec.
# Welcome to the Information Highway
# What would you like to do first?
# Let's check our internet speed
# Let's do gambling
# I'd like to go on the dark web
and look at a picture of a skeleton
# Good news but first things first
# Let's check our e-mail. #
Right. OK.
Huh?
My turn now.
Hey, one new email. Huh?
Brilliant. Me, me, me. Me.
What? Where'swhere's mine?
Hey. Nothing in the inbox, eh?
Well, there's always next
year. Anyway
..let's get on to the dark web
and have a look at some of those
Hello? What's happened to him?
I don't know. Hey. Hello.
Well, there you have it.
An example of what happens
when you don't treat
each other with respect.
I'm afraid this friendship has sunk.
What? Why is that boy still here?
And all the websites in the world
can't help you if you don't know
how to respect each other.
So remember, when things get
to be a lot, you can always
say OK, Stop. I'll see you later,
guys.
Bye. Well, hang on.
But what about him?
When does he go back to normal?
I'm afraid he's not here any more.
You two have finally driven
him away.
He's gone to the one place where
he knows he'll always have better
best friends. A festival?
No, I'm talking about his brain.
That blob in his head.
What's he doing in there?
In there? In there?
# Brain friends
# It's your brain friends and you
# It's the brain friends
# And they really like you
# Having such fun adventures
with the guys inside your head
# They'll never let you down
# They're the only ones who have
your brain
# Your brain friends, starring the
favourite thoughts
# Your first two
# Bubble bath memory, David,
shy imaginary older brother
# And, of course, you. #
Well, you can get them out, can't
you? You're a little worm guy.
Eagle. Just wriggle on in.
Yeah. Use your training.
Wake him up.
I'm afraid that's not really part
of the service.
What service? Do something.
Fine. Go.
I guess you don't want to have that
restaurant style meal after all.
A restaurant style meal?
You guys? With me?
OK. Here I go. Good luck.
I can't believe you jumped the lump.
You jumped the lump.
Thank you. I've always been far too
shy to jump the lump.
There you go. You won another
edible trophy.
Yay! Oh, you know what that means.
It's time for the Jumperdinker
Celebration Song.
Excuse me.
May I have permission to smile
at you?
Of course.
OK. Are you ready? Yeah.
Wow, this is the best place. OK,
stop.
I want you to ask yourself, does
any of this look real to you?
Or does it, in fact, look
more like a made up place
in your head?
Hiding up here in your imagination
is no way to deal
with bad friendships.
But these are my brain friends.
They're not real friends.
They're just animation.
Come on, let's go.
Wow. What was that?
Don't mind me, I was just saying,
Wow, because of you, you seem
to really know your stuff.
The things you are saying sound
clever. And interesting.
Yeah, well, look, we have to go.
Thanks for everything, Mr Eagle.
I'm notoh, sorry.
You are an eagle, aren't you?
Of course he is.
Some eagle's wings just take
longer to sprout.
It's actually pretty normal
and totally cool.
Yeah. And when they do finally
sprout, they'll be so big you can
fly
all the way up into space.
And I think you could probably meet
the royal family of another planet
and get a photo with them.
OK. Oh, why did I say that?
Well, maybe we could stick
around for a little while longer.
Is he dancing?
Oh, he better not be.
I thought he was supposed
to wake him up.
Sounds like you're having some
trouble.
Anything I can help with?
Why don't we put something else on
now?
Jumperdinker only
really has the one song.
Have you got an aux cable
that will fit this?
We usually just use the boom box.
Yeah, but I want to connect this
though.
It does have an input on the back.
Yeah, I know, but that's the input
that goes with the old model.
This is the newer one. I need the
one for the new one. OK.
Oh. I know, guys, let's
just hum a tune.
HUMS
What's the Wi-Fi?
I'll connect through the Wi-Fi.
The Wi-Fi code is on the wall
there. So read it out then.
OK. It's four, three, eight,
eight, eight.
You connect to the boombox
with Bluetooth.
Not Wi-Fi. Lower case B.
Lower case B. Do it through
Bluetooth.
Lower case Come on, speak up.
But I'm supposed to be shy.
Oh, let's just listen
to Jumperdinker's song.
She looks upset. OK, stop.
Good friendship is about respecting
what everyone wants to do, not
just doing your own thing the whole
time. But it's my brain.
Finally. Today, I'll be talking
about how you grow your business
using new methods.
What is this? That's my podcast.
Your podcast?
If you What the heck?
This is a good bit.
You can easily rise to the top
of your industry.
See. I don't understand this song.
It's not very fun to dance to.
It's not supposed to make you
dance, it's supposed to make
What is going wrong with that one?
Brackets face is longer than it
should be.
Wow. 2,000,000 results.
Well, that's too many. Let's give
up.
Well, hang on. Look at this one.
Dr Bushman can help.com.
What seems to be the problem?
That one's broken.
OK, I'm sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
Please answer the simple questions
and I'll have a diagnosis
for you in
no time. Great. We're a bit
worried.
OK. First question. Is he breathing?
You mayyou may breathe in. What?
What's breathing? Right then,
got it.
Now, does he have a history of
What did he say?
I don't know. Let's just put maybe.
OK, great.
Now, would he be surprised
if I started wearing a bandana?
One of my patients has a bandana
and I think it looks just great.
Well, yeah, he might, I guess.
Yeah. So you said you had some
follow up questions about my
podcast.
I didn't say that.
Oh, I guess I was a little vague
about setting up a strong
pipeline, wasn't I?
It's all about the 13 fundamentals.
Hey, first tooth, where
are you going?
Look, I'll always be in your heart,
but I just can't be around
here any more.
Your friend is kind
of annoying. My friend?
Yeah, thanks for thinking of us,
but it's just not fun any more.
Hold on, guys.
I'm just about to jump the lump,
remember?
Honestly, I wouldn't go
near that thing.
You should probably have it
checked out.
Your podcast made this place go sad.
That's not true.
Look, your fake shy brother's still
here.
We were just bonding over how much
he likes my podcast.
Isn't that right? I have to go now.
Oh, well, true friendship isn't
about being Mr Popular
and having loads of friends.
All you really need is one good one.
That's right. Why don't we get
something to eat and get to know
each other better? We can order in.
I'm not hungry. I ate a trophy.
I'm sure you've got room
for a restaurant style meal
with your best friends.
Hello. Yeah, I want to order some
food for two best friends.
My best friends.
Wait. What are you doing?
OK. This is mymy final
question, right?
Does your friend have a worm in his
brain?
A worm in his brain? How are we
supposed to know that?
Yeah, well, how would that even
work?
That'soh, no, he does have that.
Remember from earlier, there's
a worm in his brain.
He does, yeah. OK, great.
I'm ready to diagnose. Just
processing my diagnosis.
My diagnosis is your friend
has got a worm in his brain.
No.
Thank you for visiting.
Dr Bushman MD.
Please leave a comment on your
way
..out. Right?
Fetch me my gouging tools.
Hey. There you are.
Wondered where you'd gone.
What's this place then?
You're not trying to get
rid of me, are you?
We're best friends.
Where are you?
Got it.
Pesky bee.
Well, sorry we didn't get
to hang out much.
I guess there's always computer
day next year.
Yeah. Don't close our tabs.
I want to see that skeleton.
You know what?
Watching how much you guys care
for each other has taught me
the value of friendship.
Here, from now on, you can go
online whenever you want
using this special glass
spherical computer I invented.
Wow. I love you. Goodbye.
Wait? So we are friends?
Yeah. Of course.
Well, I thought that you guys
hated me for being stupid
in the head. Come on, don't be
silly.
That's just the worm
in your brain. Huh?
# When you feel down or when you
feel sad,
# When your mind makes you think
that everything's bad,
# Try not to worry, you
aren't completely insane
# Just remember there's a worm
in your brain. #
Hey, the worm in my brain tells me
I don't have the body type to pull
off wearing denim, but I just tell
it to pipe down.
And the worm in my brain makes me
think that the documents
I've been forging have led
to many deaths.
But I know that's just silly.
Huh? That's right.
# We all have a worm in our brain
# Yes, we all have a worm in our
brain
# Even the worm in your brain
has a worm in his brain
# That worm has a worm has a
worm #
You idiot.
Don't say that to me. Shut up.
You've ruined it.
I'm never going to see that
skeleton.