Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s01e04 Episode Script

1
- LAHELA: I love this photo of Walter.
- Mm, so cute.
You got a hottie for a boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Is he my boyfriend?
I mean, I know he likes me,
but we haven't really
defined the relationship yet.
That's okay. Kai and I
haven't DTR'd yet, either.
I consider us as
"engaged to be engaged."
How serious can Walter be about me?
I'm not even on his main Instagram grid.
If I was his girlfriend, I'd be on main.
How come I'm not on main?
Lahela, relax.
You've said it yourself,
you and Walter don't have
any cute couple shots.
Get the pics, get on main.
Stephanie Marie Denisco,
you are a genius!
Game recognizes game. (sighs)
Walter and I are going to Big
Kanoa's Tiny Golf tomorrow.
There's this waterfall on the sixth
hole that would make
a great backdrop.
You should come and take pics.
Um, a third-wheel
paparazzi might seem weird.
Maybe if we had a fourth?
(drumbeats)
(rustles)
Oh, no, my slipper!
(plastic rustles)
Hey, Kai!
Wanna go mini golfing with
me, Steph, and Walter tomorrow?
We're all set.
- (slurps)
- (grunts)
CLARA: Hospital efficiency.
How we use or misuse
our time is extremely
KAI: Mom! Do you know
where the flour is?
I need it for the Oahu Pie Competition.
Since you guys loved
my cookie cake so much,
here's my next idea.
One word. Cookie pie.
That's two words, and the
flour is next to the canola oil.
Cool.
What's canola oil?
(scoffs) I'll find the flour,
but then, you have
to let me rehearse
my presentation
for the Chief of Staff.
Why do you even care what that guy
thinks? You don't even like him.
You call him "Dr. Name Dropper."
Dr. Name Dropper is still
the head of the hospital.
And any time I get a
chance to present to him
is an opportunity for me to
effect real change at work.
Even if I have to listen to his story
about running a 5K with
Bruno Mars' hat guy.
- Move.
- (inhales)
(exhales deeply) I live with ferrets.
Hospital efficiency.
How we use or misuse our time
- is extremely
- BRIAN: Mom!
You didn't finish my rock.
The Greek Gods show is tonight,
and I can't be Sisyphus with this.
BRIAN: It's just a beach ball.
Your show's not until four.
I'm gonna wrap the ball in butcher paper
as soon as I finish
rehearsing my presentation.
And after you find me the flour.
- Yeah.
- And get Dad out of the good bathroom.
He's been in there all morning,
and I need the floor-length
mirror to check my fit.
Hey, babe, do you know
where the moisturizer is?
I need to maintain my dewy glow.
And I need to finish my presentation!
I am locking myself in the bathroom.
Nobody bother me.
See if my moisturizer's in there.
All this pretty takes work.
(sighs)
(quirky music)
(ball rattles)
See, the key to putting
is to figure out the magnitude
and angle of the total velocity.
You know, your basic
Pythagorean theorem.
Yeah, I don't think Steph and
I have reached that chapter yet.
Well, you don't need
to be good at math
to know that Walter
is getting wrecked.
Hey, it's been hard to line
up a putt, my side hurts.
I think I pulled
something while surfing.
You'll turn it around at the next hole.
It's my favorite because of
the picturesque waterfall.
(light music)
LAHELA: Waterfalls are so romantic.
Swimming in them, standing next to them.
Using your good side
to gaze at a rock
- Steph!
- We've gotta keep
- these good vibes going.
- Steph!
I heard about an escape room
in Mililani. We should go.
Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to
try one of those escape room things.
It'll be so fun.
You guys in? Say you're in.
Yeah, we're in.
Steph, could you grab a pic?
Right, sorry. Sorry.
Here we go.
(camera shutter clicks)
Love it. Now let's
try one like you didn't
just get kicked in
the nads by a donkey.
- My bad.
- (soft chuckle)
Okay, I'm ready.
- (groans)
- You okay?
Yeah, I'm good. I it's
just my stomach again.
Can you tell me where the pain is?
It was here, but it's
kind of moved to the side.
- Have you had your appendix out?
- No, why?
Pain transferring
from the center of
the abdomen to the
lower right quadrant
is usually a sign of appendicitis.
But I won't know for sure
until I can check your white
blood count at the hospital.
I don't have to go to the hospital.
I'm fine. Let us (groans)
(groaning)
(dial tone trilling)
This is Dr. Kamealoha. Prepare the OR.
(theme music)
(tranquil music)
(elevator dings)
I mean, do I really need surgery?
Well, during my examination, you
exhibited "rebound tenderness,"
which can be a sign that your
appendix is close to rupturing.
- That sounds bad.
- It's gonna be okay.
I called ahead. They're
getting the OR prepped.
We have the best surgeons.
- (phone ringing)
- (indistinct announcement on PA)
(indistinct chatter)
What's going on?
Multi-car pile-up on the H-1.
Just happened. More coming!
Dr. Lee, I called about an appy.
We have the patient being
prepped. Who's on the schedule?
I need a crash cart
to exam room one. Stat!
- Everybody's busy. You do the appy.
- Oh, but, no. I
This isn't a discussion. Do it.
(indistinct announcement over PA)
Walter, I'm doing your surgery. (sighs)
- There isn't anyone else?
- I'm sorry.
Because of the accident
on the H-1, there isn't.
But don't worry. I've done
a ton of these. Look at me.
- I got you.
- (tense music)
(calm music)
(indistinct chatter)
(Dr. Lee sighs)
When's the Chief of Staff getting here?
- I don't know.
- (scoffs)
He's 40 minutes late.
I'm a doctor, not an Uber
driver circling the airport.
I know.
I'm trying to get to my son's school
by four for his Greek Gods show.
Oh, I don't need your life history.
I was just wondering where Dr. Choi was.
- (door opens)
- Ah.
Sorry I'm late, people. I
was talking to Magic Johnson.
(indistinct chatter)
You got off the phone with
Magic to come to a staff meeting?
When I grow up, I wanna be you.
(sighs) Well, I had to thank him
because he sent me this
box of frozen steaks.
An NBA legend knows your
home address. That's dope.
Is it? I guess I never really
thought about it like that
because we're such good friends.
(inhales) Now, unfortunately,
I can't eat them
because I am doing a red meat
fast with Bruno Mars' hat guy.
Bruno Mars is Honolulu royalty.
- Respect.
- (Dr. Choi chuckles)
You get a steak! You get a steak!
- You get a steak! You get a steak!
- (Clara clears throat)
- Do you mind if I
- Yes, Clara! Everyone gets a steak!
- (Clara stammers)
- Ah, New York strip?
(stammering) Um
What's up?
- Oh. Presentation. Yes. Go, go, go.
- (Clara chuckles)
(chuckles)
- Okay, hospital Okay.
- (thuds)
(clears throat) Hospital efficiency.
How we use or misuse our time is
(chuckles)
(laughs)
I am so sorry. (chuckles)
I was just thinking about
this video Magic sent me.
It's of this guy in sunglasses
flipping his speedboat
to Turn Down For What.
(all laugh)
Oh, we should watch it. You
know, I'm sorry. No, no, no.
No, no. Well, yeah.
Well, let's watch it.
- Yeah? All right.
- DR. LEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- DR. CHOI: Let's watch it.
I can't think of a better way of
spending a seminar on efficiency
than watching a
seven-year-old YouTube video.
(chuckles)
Lots of Nordstrom tabs
open. Just go for it, girl!
Take a chance, you know
they got great returns!
- (all laugh)
- Okay, check this out.
Turn down for what ♪
- Oh! Right? Am I right?
- (all groan)
(laughs)
- Hey, you guys wanna spy on my dog?
- Turn down for what ♪
- Aloha.
- Hey, Walter.
How you feeling since
you got your appendix out?
It's so good to see you,
right here in the flesh.
Sorry. Do I know you, guys?
- Oh, my God, you're so funny.
- (both laugh)
(chuckles)
Wait, do you really not know who we are?
It's us, Noelani and Charles. (scoffs)
No-no and Chuckles?
Noels? Charlani?
- Lahela must have talked about us.
- Yeah.
We're like her mentor slash
best friends slash stylist
slash the wind beneath her wings.
Oh. Hey, guys.
What the heck, Lahela?
Walter doesn't even know who we are
and we know everything about him?
I know he wrote his English paper
on "The Eyes of T.J.
Eckleburg" in The Great Gatsby.
And I was the one that likes
every one of his Instagram posts!
I mean, I went deep.
I was the one to tell you
he had a Cocker Spaniel!
I'm sorry. Is the multi-car
pile-up all sorted then?
Yeah, it could use some tidying up.
- We should probably go.
- Hmm.
Manolo. (soft chuckle)
Sorry about that. I
brought you something.
"It's a boy"?
Yeah, slim pickings at
the hospital gift shop.
It was that or the "World's
Best Grandpa" mug, so
- Thanks.
- How you feeling?
Okay.
On a scale of one to ten, what
would you rate your pain level?
I'll let you in on a little secret.
My male patients usually respond
with six no matter how bad it is,
because they think six says "I'm
in pain, but I'm a macho man."
Feel free to tell me your real
number. It'll be our secret.
Six.
Cool.
Well, if you want, I can grab a
wheelchair and bring
you to the courtyard.
The art there is hideous.
They have this statue that
looks like a giant butt.
I'm good.
You sure?
It's where I go when I've had
a rough day and need a cheap
I'm watching this.
Oh, okay. (soft chuckle)
But you don't know what you're missing.
If you sit just
right, it looks like
the people are
walking out of the butt.
(tranquil music)
(upbeat music)
(car alarm beeps)
(sighs) Come on, come on, come on
Damn it.
- (sighs deeply)
- Hey, honey!
- Hey.
- BENNY: You missed a great show!
Except the art teacher wore a
very revealing toga for no reason.
(groans, sighs)
I could have made it,
but Dr. Choi ate into
my presentation time
with a story about Magic
Johnson and a sand trap.
I had to shorten my efficiency
lecture to be efficient.
Turned into an irony lecture.
Wait, your boss knows Magic Johnson?
That's rad!
Yeah. Except there's no way
he really knows Magic Johnson.
I've heard him tell that
exact same golf story before,
but last time, he was with
Don Ho's old tour manager.
Wait a minute, your boss knows
Don Ho's old tour manager?
- Mom!
- Oh.
You made it!
Everybody loved your rock,
especially when it got
loose and took out Achilles.
(all laugh)
I'm sorry I missed your show,
baby. I… I got caught up at work.
That's okay.
I knew it was a long shot.
I wasn't counting on it.
Oh, you weren't?
Because I really wanted to be there.
Yeah, but we know you can't
really be there. That's cool.
Like last week when I scored that
goal at the Aloha Invitational.
You scored a goal?
Yeah. It was a header off a corner.
But that's okay. You're busy.
- Yeah, your job's important.
- See? They get it.
(tranquil music)
Hey, have you heard from Walter today?
Yeah, we texted earlier. Why?
No reason.
- (clears throat)
- Sorry.
Guys, can I have everyone's attention?
Is this about earlier?
I told you my chair made that sound.
(all chuckle)
(breathes deeply)
I've been a doctor for 15 years,
sacrificed everything for the hospital.
And while I'm comfortable
with the demands of my job,
I have come to realize,
it's not fair to you guys.
I've missed too many
important milestones.
So, I called Dr. Choi and told him,
I'm scaling back my hours to part-time,
so I can be the best
mom that I can be.
Wow.
- Awesome.
- That's great.
- Yeah? Good?
- Yeah.
(all laugh)
Besides, as long as Dr. Choi is chief,
none of the improvements I
wanna make are going to happen.
So I'd rather be here with you guys
and make an actual difference.
That's a big life change.
Yeah.
Are you sure, honey?
I've never been more sure
of anything in my whole life.
Other than the fact that
chairs don't make that sound.
(all laugh)
(video game sound)
So, I'm home all day today, no
work, no charts, no presentations,
just you and me, buddy.
Hey, Mom, can you move?
I die less when I can see the screen.
Well, I was really hoping
to spend some time with you.
(sniffs) You know what?
Ugh. Hand me a controller!
I'll get it.
So what are we working with? (sighs)
Uh, Plumbers? Hedgehogs?
Zeldas? (chuckles)
Mom, my friends online can hear you.
- (sighs)
- And they get weird around women.
Oh.
(sighs) So what's the goal?
How do you win?
(sighs) Just wanted
to explore the world,
wander around.
Maybe make a pot of stew.
Oh, and that's fun?
It used to be.
Oh, get the poi! Get the poi!
That makes a hearty stew.
Hey, Walter.
I know it's super weird to
be leaving you a voicemail.
What am I, an '80s
businessman? (soft chuckle)
Anyway, I haven't talked to
you since you left the hospital,
and I thought maybe the sound of my
voice would compel
you to hit me back.
Still not on main?
No.
I mean, patients who are complete
strangers have put me on main.
Rip Tide put me in his will.
Ever since I did that appy, Walter
and I have gone from DTR to DOA.
He's probably just
weirded out by your genius.
I mean, you did surgery on him.
Most kids and even adults are
intimidated by your big brain.
Four people for mini-golf
with bumper boats,
plus ten dollars in tokens, three
sodas, a Yoo-hoo, and a poke,
- that'll be
- Ninety-one dollars
and fifty-two cents. With tax.
"Phrase" is the category
and now you can spin.
(rattling noise on TV)
Rome wasn't built in a day.
HOST: That's it. Quite a
nice try. Let's now, cash in.
- MAN: "R"?
- HOST: One "R".
Hot tip, never fold a King-Jack suit.
You had a 63 percent chance
- of beating me on the river.
- (sighs)
And the brontosaurus on
your shirt is inaccurate.
Sauropods only had one
claw on their forearms.
- Could you spot me a
- Charles,
she already took your Seiko
and the keys to your Lancia.
I think you should go home.
All right. (sighs deeply)
LAHELA: Thank you.
(sighs)
Am I extra?
We're both extra, which is
why I'm not intimidated by you.
You've got your high IQ, and
I've got my joie de vivre.
But Walter is just Walter.
He's fine but, you're the
star of that relationship.
He's
Robin to your Batman.
And I think it might be nice
if every once in a while,
you let him catch the Joker.
Well, how do I do
that? He's avoiding me.
Do I have to solve all
your problems for you?
Mm-hmm.
(groans) So much emotional labor.
- Mm.
- (grunts)
Okay, so when we go to
the escape room on Friday,
maybe tone it down a notch.
You don't always have to prove you're
the smartest person in the room.
Give him a win. That
should get you on main.
I love it. I'm in.
That was too easy.
(inhales) If I'm on a roll,
I should go talk to my mom about
getting my belly button pierced.
This is what I wanted to do with
the surgical supply room years ago.
But Dr. Choi thought
it was a waste of time.
Cool. Can you hand me the vanilla?
(gasps) Kai! The kitchen's a mess!
Well, no not the whole kitchen.
- The pantry looks good.
- Oh.
Do you need all this
stuff for your cookie pie?
Let me see the recipe.
Don't have one. See,
I like to bake by feel.
The pie tells me what it wants to be.
How about salmonella-free?
Has the pie mentioned
anything about that?
You need a better method.
- Oh.
- (clanks)
Hey, honey.
Maybe give Kai some
room to make his pie.
I know the kids are
loving having you home,
but you don't have to
look after them 24-7.
Why don't you take
some time for yourself?
- Really?
- Yeah, you deserve it.
You're right. (chuckles)
I do deserve some me time. (giggles)
I'm gonna go reroof the
pagoda. (soft chuckle)
Okay. Ever since Mom's been home,
she's been putting all this
weird overachiever energy into us.
She's messing with my baking time.
- Pie time is Kai time.
- Don't worry.
She'll be on that roof for days.
- Your old man's a mastermind.
- (both chuckle)
So, cookie pie. It's one word.
(tranquil music)
(foreboding music)
Hi!
I've been working so
hard to help the kids
and I realized I've been totally
neglecting my number one guy.
(chuckles) So, I'm here to help.
Great.
Great.
(tranquil music)
So glad you felt well enough to come.
By the way, I never got to tell you,
but I used subcuticular stitches,
so they won't have to be taken out.
Ah, thanks. (soft chuckle)
Take it easy, Batman.
Welcome to Escape from Paradise!
Oahu's number one escape room
attraction in this mini-mall.
I am Douglas Von Der Ahe,
world-famous explorer.
I'll be your guide to a fantastical
adventure into your mind.
Which one of you has
the Groupon? (sighs)
(sniffs)
Valid. (sighs)
Your coterie will be joined by this
intrepid couple from the mainland.
We're the Jamies.
I'm Jamie with an "I" and
this is Jamey with a "Y".
(inhales) Super excited to be in Hawaii.
(both chuckle)
It's always been Jamie's dream
to visit a foreign country.
- Oh
- Leave it.
You are a team of geologists
trapped in this cave.
You have 60 minutes to escape
before the volcano erupts,
flooding the chamber
with red hot magma lava.
Magma lava isn't a thing.
It's either magma or lava.
- Ow.
- Time starts now.
The first step is to
unlock a black light pen
by solving the word
scramble on the wall.
Hello and goodbye.
(door creaks)
(gasps) I got it.
Halo.
(Jamie laughs)
Uh, what about the other "A"?
Well, good point.
"A halo."
(both laugh)
Jamie guessed three of the
masked singers last season.
Oh.
That's awesome.
So, every day, you change the
name of your shave ice flavors?
Uh, based on the day's theme.
Today, I'm doing Mel Brooks movies.
Doesn't that make the menu
confusing for your customers?
No, they love it. It's fun.
DR. CHOI: Hey, Benny.
Hey, aloha, Dr. Choi!
Uh, I will take a Gene
Wilder-Berry. (soft chuckle)
Now, is that strawberry or blueberry?
(gasps) You know what?
Don't tell me, it'll be
a surprise. (chuckles)
This is fun.
I, uh, hope they have good shave
ice in LA. I'm gonna miss this.
- Oh, you're leaving?
- Oh.
Yeah. I just got an offer to be
a doctor for a major sports team
I'm not allowed to
disclose. It's the Lakers!
- Huh? Oh.
- It's the Los Angeles Lakers!
Great. Awesome. Congratulations.
Thank you. Yeah, the only bummer
is I need to find my replacement.
Yeah, too bad you've got
your kids, you'd be great.
But you got your hands
full doing your mom thing.
- Wait, what?
- Oh, you know what I mean.
I mean, you're awesome and everything,
but you wanted to step back.
- One Gene Wilder-Berry.
- Oh.
The lilikoi on top honors
his signature auburn curls.
(Dr. Choi, Clara laughs)
I gotta send a pic of
this to Magic Johnson.
We do this fun thing where
I send him pictures of food,
and he sends me pictures of
rashes he wants me to check out.
- Oh.
- It's disgusting.
(laughs) He doesn't know Magic Johnson.
Why are you so mad?
Is this about the Chief of Staff job?
- No.
- Hmm.
You always talk
about what you would
do with the hospital if Dr. Choi left.
- You're not intrigued?
- Of course, I am.
It's the job I've wanted for ever.
But it means working more.
And I already feel bad
about how much I work now.
(sighs)
I don't know, I'm so torn.
What do I do?
It's a big decision.
There's only one thing to do.
(waves crashing)
("E Kiss Kaua" by Kamae &
Eddie & The Sons Of Hawaii)
(beeping)
Any idea how this works? (sighs)
Well, there are playing
cards on each of the pads,
patterns probably a poker hand, so
You know, what, uh, what do you think?
(sighs) I don't know.
Come on, team. (exhales)
You got this. We can do it.
We think this might be a clue.
- We found it hanging on the wall.
- (chuckles)
That is an actual fire extinguisher.
Puzzles are hard.
(sighs deeply)
(beeping)
- (sighs)
- JAMIE: We're never gonna get this.
I'm starting to think the word jumble
at the beginning wasn't "aloha".
Maybe it was "a halo".
"A halo"?
In what world does that make sense?
It's "aloha", we're in Hawaii,
which, FYI, is in America!
(rattles)
(chimes)
(beeping)
- (thuds)
- (chimes)
- (beeps)
- (door clanks)
I'm sorry, Walter, I just can't do this.
I'm Batman. Deal with it.
Guess she didn't wanna get
killed by the magma lava.
LAHELA: Not a thing!
Whoo!
- Told you that would help.
- (chuckles)
So let's talk.
I know I could do a kick-ass
job as Chief of Staff,
but the kids matter most.
I don't want them to look back
and think I was never around.
No question.
I'm not going for the job.
- That makes sense.
- Of course, you say that.
You're a dad,
so anything you do for the
kids is, like, extra credit.
But for moms? It's totally
different. It's not fair.
I'm finally at the point in my career
where I could make that hospital
run the way I know it should be run.
So go for the job.
Because you want me out of the house?
I've never told you
where you have to be.
That's why your surprise party
last year was such a flop.
Yeah, it was.
(somber music)
What's wrong, kiddo?
Nothing. (soft chuckle)
- Why do you think something's wrong?
- A mom always knows.
Plus, this is where you come
when you've had a bad day.
(chuckles) What's up?
Life would just be
so much easier if
I wasn't Lahela
Kamealoha, girl genius.
You have a special gift.
It's a good thing.
Even if it makes me extra?
Oh. (chuckles)
If the world can't deal
with a strong, smart woman
that's the world's problem, not yours.
Always be true to who you are.
You can't hide from your true self,
and you shouldn't have to.
That's why I'm going for Chief of Staff.
You are?
- Yeah.
- (both laugh)
I am.
Being a great mom means living
your life as an example for your kids.
I can't tell you to be
you if I'm not being me.
We, we are strong, smart ladies, Lahela,
and we don't have to apologize for that.
- You're right.
- Right?
(chuckles)
Hey, does that statue look like a butt?
Yes, and no matter where you
stand, it's always looking at you.
(lively music)
So, what's Bruno Mars' hat guy like?
Uh, you know, he's all right.
He's kind of a hanger-on
name-dropper type.
- Sad, really.
- Wow.
I wanna be considered
for Chief of Staff.
No one knows this
hospital better than me.
No one works harder.
Earlier, you said I had
my hands full being a mom.
Being a mom is a strength.
This hospital needs a mom.
Great. Consider yourself in the running.
MAGIC (on computer):
She's got my vote.
- (Dr. Choi chuckles)
- Oh, yeah. It, uh
(chuckling) Oh, my God! Magic Johnson.
Hi, you're he's
you're Magic Johnson!
Last time I checked.
Wow. I am a huge fan.
I mean, I'm from Philly,
so you know, Sixers.
Well, nobody's perfect.
(ululating, chuckles)
(chuckles) Ah, hi, uh, Mr. Magic!
Uh, I like golf and steaks,
uh, you like golf and steak.
Maybe we should get
together sometime and I
Man, that sounds like fun. I'll
give you my private cellphone number.
- Wow.
- It's 3-1-0
- Sorry
- Not, not that. It's fine.
- Uh
- Oh.
Uh, 3-1-0, yeah?
3-1-0, what? 3-1-0, what?
(clears throat) Uh, uh, Magic, Magic
Uh, I think you froze.
Magic! Magic! Magic!
Sorry, eh, the Wi-Fi stinks. (laughs)
What? (sighs)
That was close. Did he buy it?
He's still in the room.
Just keep acting frozen. I'm,
I'm also gonna act frozen.
(tranquil music)
What are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you.
- I need to talk to you.
Is something wrong? Why did
you run out of the escape room?
Look, I get that I
intimidate a lot of people,
but I'm smart, and I
shouldn't have to hide that.
And if that makes me
a big old weirdy weirdo
or too extra for you,
then that's your problem.
- And I just
- Whoa, whoa.
I like you because you're smart.
You do?
Yes. I love that you're a doctor.
You're the smartest person
I know. It's awesome.
Then why have you
been acting so strange?
I don't know.
Maybe because you saw me
like that at mini-golf.
Laid out on the ground, helpless.
It was embarrassing.
And then after the surgery,
you just walked into my room with
a balloon like it was no big deal.
Felt like an idiot.
Well, you needed an appy.
It wasn't a big deal.
For you to cut me open and
have to take care of me
Made me feel weird.
Well, I've done that procedure
on dozens of patients.
Never done it on me.
(soft music)
You're right.
I'm sorry.
You're not just any patient.
Well, yeah, I'd hope not.
I mean, I'm your boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
Oh, God. Um, is it too soon to DTR?
Not at all boyfriend.
Being a 16-year-old doctor is
kind of like having a superpower.
But sometimes, when there are
things that make you different,
you worry you won't fit in,
and you hide your true talents.
But I realized I don't wanna be Batman.
I'd rather take off my mask and
show the world who I really am.
Oh, and in case you were wondering
I'm on main.
(sucks teeth)
(closing theme music)