DTLA (2012) s01e04 Episode Script

1 Music - This has to stop, SJ.
- What? Every day, the same old shit.
You need to move back in with Norm.
- No.
- Yes.
- No, Norm is just too - No SJ, please, I'm over it.
- Please stop.
- You need to stop.
You need to be my friend.
Okay we have about five minutes for me to be your friend.
- I'm getting a divorce.
- You're not.
You always say that, you are not getting a divorce.
- Yes I am.
- Alright, why? We have nothing in common.
Nothing.
I see that clearly.
- So we have green eyes.
- SJ, what happened to you? You know, five years ago, we're all in college, you were so much cooler.
Yeah that was a much sexier time.
How is this at all convincing me why you want to divorce Norm? He's 15 years older than me.
He was 15 years older than you when you met him.
Things change over time, okay, I'm not the same person I was five years ago and neither is he.
It might be something you'll understand when you actually have your own long term relationship.
You know what you need to understand, is that you are starting to become a pathetic, sad, little girl.
A faghag on her way to Spinsterland.
You could end up being that cautionary tale for all fucking women who are so in love with their fantasy version of will, because they're trying to avoid any potential pulse in between their own legs.
- Are you saying - I'm saying No.
You think I'm attracted to you? No.
- Is that what you're saying? - You know that's gross, SJ.
Hell, no.
Yeah, you're pretty, but my bag is pretty.
I don't want to fuck it.
Can you pull over right here, please? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a frigging 16 year old boy who I bumped into at bisexual thug night the other night.
- Thanks for the ride.
- Yeah.
Music - Alright, ready? - Jab.
Another one, jab.
Jab across.
Bam! Jab cross.
Four straight, come on.
Come on, four straight.
[Punching.]
There you go, keep those hands up man, come on, what's up? - Dude.
I need a break.
- What? - That's just a warmup.
- I'm exhausted, I just I'm sorry Kevin, I haven't been sleeping like at all.
- I'm just - You okay? - Yeah - What's up? Nothing I want to worry you with, you know, you've been here for what, two weeks? Don't worry about it.
Classic Lenny, you're just gonna stuff that shit, right? Right? Fuck you man, you don't know me.
Please.
Puh-lease.
It's a lot of stuff, it's a lot of stuff, man.
It's like we just had to gut the whole loft to put it on the market, you know, it's like My mom Oh.
Oh, okay.
I don't want to get into it.
- I get it.
- Don't want to get into it.
Alright.
Plus, I'm unloading on my therapist this afternoon, so you don't have to worry about it.
Oh, that's gross.
Do they charge you extra for that one? [Laughing.]
Actually, I haven't seen her in about a year, but if she's still single, I might try to hook you guys up, because she is hot.
Really? Like super hot, yeah.
I'm actually supposed to meet up with SJ tonight.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
What's happening? I don't know, just coffee, whatever.
That's cool.
Well, you know, just watch yourself.
Okay What does that mean, watch myself? Well you know we all missed you man, but SJ took it really really hard when you left.
I mean you weren't here, you didn't see it.
She fell She fell apart.
I was so loaded, bro, I couldn't see past the next party or gig.
I fucked that one up.
Well, things have changed in the last few years.
You know, we all changed.
You know she's married now.
Yeah, I know.
She and I don't even hang out that much anymore, but she's still my best friend and I know she could not take another one of your disappearing acts.
You feel me, Terry MacMillan? Yeah.
I do.
I don't know who Terry MacMillan is, but I feel you.
I'm just saying don't fuck with her head.
I won't.
That's the last thing I'm gonna do, trust me.
Good.
Good.
Oh hey Dave, I forgot to tell you I booked that play! What, really? That's awesome, man, I'm super proud of you.
Aw, thanks, you know, honestly it's not that big of a deal.
What are you talking about, it's like your first big thing in LA.
That's huge, why didn't you tell me about it earlier? I don't know, it's just kind of embarrassing, it's just some silly little show.
Yeah, what's it called? Uhh The MacDonald Farm? Oh like the nursery rhyme.
No, not exactly.
So it's a child's play, then.
You know, I don't know.
I don't really even know why I'm doing it.
It's just like It's just this little thing to kind of beef up my resume, you know? Actually, I'd kind of appreciate it if you just sit this one out, too.
- If that's alright with you.
- Why don't you want me to go? It's not that I don't want you there, it's just, you know I don't want you to see me acting for the first time in something that sucks, you know? You're gonna rock that shit.
Don't even worry.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
But, you know what I mean.
Just come next time when it's something actually worth seeing.
Yeah I'm actually going to be rehearsing over here with one of the other actors today.
Oh, so I should make myself scarce, then, huh? Thank you for understanding.
You're welcome.
[Laughing.]
Hurry up.
Music Music [Indistinct chattering.]
Devon.
Where have you been all week? What? Can I speak to you for a second? No.
Uh, see you later, dude.
- No, guys, wait.
- I need to speak with you.
Excuse me.
Music I don't know, it was like Nine months ago? I was working over at that all night diner in spokane that's on Eight and Grand.
Mhmm.
You know what, that's actually where I met Matthew.
Didn't you meet him at the party? Man there was so many guys at that party, I only remember you and Rod.
He was about my height, cute.
He's a cool guy.
Honestly though man, I just Most of my friends are actually kind of straight dudes.
Actually it's funny you say that man, lately it seems like most of my friends are gay.
Yeah? Why's that, you like being ogled? No, I wouldn't say it's that.
I guess from work.
What do you do for work, anyway? Right, let's just put it this way.
I get my bills paid every month.
Shit, that's more than I do.
My unemployment ran out over a month ago.
What's up with that, anyway? I don't know man, it's like - I just turned 28, right? - Right.
And it's like I'm expected to figure out what I'm going to do with my life right now.
I have no fucking idea.
Hey, at least your man has money, though.
Pam has a good job, but We just found out she's pregnant, so it looks like I'm going to have to be the man with the responsibilities now.
Can I ask you something? So like, are you still like sexually into her, liked turned on? You guys have been together for so freaking long.
I could never get tired of that.
You know, it's like once you pull them panties out man, it's like magic.
[Laughing.]
But at least you don't have to worry about having a kid, could be worse.
Yeah.
At least I got that going for me.
Oh, shit.
My ride's here.
- Your ride? - Yeah, I got a job interview.
I'll talk to you later man, thanks for lunch.
Hey, good luck.
We'll hang out again soon, right? - Yeah, I hope so.
- Alright, I'll see you then.
I'll see you.
Why now? I guess I'm having a hard time focusing at work.
My mind's been racing to the worst case scenario lately.
- Really? - Yeah.
So like what, I mean can you give me an example, or Not really.
Oh.
No, uh Like right now, I'm imagining that you're probably looking at me and thinking that you're probably bored out of your mind, that you would much rather be talking to some other patient.
Are you seeing another therapist? You can tell me.
- I can take it.
- God, no, God no.
I could never find another shrink as hot as you.
[Laughing.]
- You know I have that thing.
- What thing? I can't see a therapist who's a slob, I just can't.
Like I can't trust them, you know? And you are flawless, you are impeccably put together, look at you.
Down to your shoes, which are reedick.
They are.
They're kind of crazy, aren't they? You're killing people.
I'm having a little affair with them.
You're hurting people.
So what do my shoes have to do with your life, Lenny? You look like you handle your business, so I feel like I can trust you to help me with mine.
I mean that sounds shallow, I guess, but No, no.
I understand what you're saying, you're saying that appearances are important to you, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
That's understandable.
You want things to look the way you want them to look.
Yes.
Thank you.
And you feel like maybe you have more control over things when they look the way you think they should.
I see you've got a beard going on.
- Looks great.
- Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, is that a reflection of something, is that Do you feel protected now, is it a mask of some kind? No no no.
It's just a Mask, whoa.
Um - It's a change.
- Yeah, right.
It's just, Brian's had a beard for a couple years, and he was always scratching my face, so I grew mine out just as a Spite beard? Yeah.
Retaliation, maybe.
- Pursuit/attack.
- No it's just a beard.
And do you think Brian's beard was just a beard, or do you think that he's covering something up? I think he's cheating on me.
What makes you think that he's cheating? I can feel it.
You know, he's always lying about where he's going, - I can see it in his eyes.
- What about couples therapy? Have you guys tried couples therapy? I could recommend some people, or, if you wanted to you could come in here, you know? You could bring him in for a session.
It's less commitment, but you know, maybe makes it easier.
Okay.
- I'll ask.
- Alright, good.
Music Hey, hey, hey.
I know you.
Yeah, do you know where Raffi is? I know why you're here.
I know why you're here.
It's not to see Raffi.
- No, it is.
- No it isn't! It's to see Cezar Gomez, because that's why you're here every goddamn night, stalking up his fucking jock, trying to see his dick and all the other things that are around the dick, and I can't have it anymore.
He hasn't He's not gay, he doesn't want to fucking get with you.
- Cezar Gomez is gay.
- He's not gay! I don't know what your fantasy is in your sick mind that he's gay, but he's not, he just hangs out with gay people a lot.
- Don't come around anymore! - Okay, okay.
I have a deal for you.
What.
I'll stop stalking Cezar Gomez, if you tell me where Raffi is.
Deal.
I'll tell you where Raffi is, but you can never come back here again.
Okay.
Next time I see you here, we're not going to talk about it.
Do you understand what I'm saying about not talking? It could be ugly.
Fuck up your hair, and your eyes and shit, - and your throat.
- Okay? Okay, okay.
Where's Raffi? - What is your fucking problem? - What's your fucking problem? - Just fucking help! - I'll fucking kick your ass.
Fucking psycho dyke! [Screaming.]
[Indistinct chattering.]
SJ, go, go back, hurry! She's fucking crazy! Look at me, I'm riding on the car.
Music Hey dude.
You find the place alright and everything? Yeah, my girlfriend's got GPS on her car.
She wanted to come in and check us out, but we have way too much work to do, you know what I'm saying? That first rehearsal was brutal.
Brute.
Yeah, I uh Totally.
I was just telling my boyfriend the same thing.
Gotta rehearse.
Oh.
- So you're gay? - Uh, yeah.
Oh, alright, that's cool.
Yeah, I figured as much, but I didn't want to assume.
Hollywood.
Every gay play I've done, it's been all straight actors.
So, you know They're all trying to score that Brokeback role.
- It's great exposure.
- Yeah! - Exposure up the ass! - Literally.
Dude, my girlfriend is so excited about it, like she has this little fantasy of me getting together with another dude, and I'm like, well listen babe, whatever floats your boat, but make sure you clip your nails before you stick your finger down there, you know? - Easy, Melissa.
- Yeah.
Yeah, so I mean have you done a lot of gay projects? A couple plays, I did an episode of "On the Roof".
I love "On the Roof".
Yeah, I basically played a gay guy at the bar.
- Yeah, on season two.
- Apparently, yeah.
They wanted me to kiss some other guy, and it wasn't even a speaking part, you know? No way I'm going to swap spit for some featured extra BS.
Totally, totally.
And I mean that whole Chad coming out storyline was just so underdeveloped.
You know what I mean? I can't wait for Alex and Lance, til they get their thing going on, I mean the whole on again off again with friendship, I mean, are they kidding us? I mean obviously that's going to lead to come sort of affair.
You know? Kinda.
Well what about you, is this your first gay play, or Well I played a bisexual in college.
Burn this, Lamford Wilson.
- Never heard of it.
- Right.
Well, you know, this is my first la play.
It's kind of my first big thing, you know.
Dude, that's awesome.
Thanks.
So, should we have our boundary talk? Boundary talk? Yeah, you know, we talk about what's off limits, what we will and won't do You know, for all the kissing an squeezing, and all that stuff.
Oh.
I figured we were just going to go balls to the wall, you feel me? Fortunately you're a good-looking dude, so it's not going to be hard to kiss and stuff.
No, it should not be hard, at all.
Look man, I'm totally method.
Great.
We're actors.
The full frontal, that's my thing.
Anything we do onstage, we should have already done in rehearsal.
- You feel me? - Yeah, I feel you.
So I say do whatever feels right.
I'm not going to trip.
I won't.
Oh, great.
Cool, okay.
My character's pretty much the aggressor in most of it, so I was just gonna, you know, go for it.
- I go for things I see.
- Okay, great.
Great! Let's get this party started.
Okay.
You have any mouthwash? - Hey.
- I knew it was you.
I thought we were meeting at a bar or cafe, Raffi.
What the hell am I doing here watching you get a haircut? Because, I text you, you don't text me back, so now you gotta come on my own time.
This is serious.
Remember that 17 year old kid? Devon? I need you to fire him.
Why are you so worried about this, why don't you worry about your own problems? He is my problem Raffi, he's my student.
If you really don't take care of this, not only are you doing something illegal, you could lose your license, Raffi.
You could lose your job.
- You want me to fire this kid? - I do.
Okay.
Now why didn't you text me back again? I just want to know.
Because I don't do sexting.
You don't do sexting? Who said I was going to sext you? Whatever we had that night Raffi, it was a one time thing.
What are you doing right now? - You wanna - No.
Uh-uh? No, don't look at me like that.
Raffi I'm not going there.
No.
Music Music - Hey there.
- Hey.
- Sorry I'm late.
- It's all good.
- Here, have a seat.
- Thanks.
How are you? I'm good.
Good.
[Laughing.]
- Let's get something to drink.
- Yes, yes.
- Okay, what do you want? - Scotch on the rocks.
Whoa.
Really? Hard stuff.
- It's 6:00 pm.
- Okay.
Give me a break.
Are you sure your watch isn't a little fast? [Laughing.]
I don't have a watch, but yeah.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
Scotch on the rocks it is.
Be right back.
So she wants to get in the back seat.
Oh, here we go.
No, not like that, it's like totally innocent kiddie stuff.
All of a sudden, through the window, sawed-off shotgun.
Chk-chk, bitch, get out.
It was her ex-boyfriend, some crazy biker dude.
That was your last girlfriend.
Well, it was like my last date.
No, no, see I asked who was the last person you've been with.
Oh, okay.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Oh come on, what about that model you brought to Brian's party? Oh.
- Caress.
- Caress.
Um, honestly, I just didn't want to go to the party alone and look like a total loser.
Right.
Right, I'm serious.
There was no love connection there.
We'll leave it at that.
Honestly, since you, I haven't dated anyone that was bring home to mom material.
And I still beat myself up about not being there for you when you needed me.
When your brother died.
What are you talking about? I'm starving.
I'm totally getting low blood sugar, - are you hungry? - No, it's early.
And I have to eat with Norm, so.
What it is like, anyway? Marriage life.
What's he like? It's nice.
Okay.
You guys would like each other.
I think.
We're kind of hardcore.
Yeah, like we don't have a problem getting into these harsh battles with each other because we're both really passionate and stubborn.
He's a pro bono lawyer.
Okay.
He's a big advocate for the underdog.
I actually love that about him.
Cool.
It'll be six years this summer.
Wow.
- I know, can you believe that? - That's crazy.
I hope he knows how lucky he is.
Thanks.
- I feel lucky, too.
- Good.
So what's really going on with you? What's really going on with me? Uh huh.
What does that mean? You want to know if I'm still partying, just ask.
Are you still partying? No.
I'm not.
It's been almost three years actually.
No drugs, no booze, no weed, nothing, zero.
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
That whole New York party lifestyle I couldn't keep up.
I actually was supposed to be modeling, and I came out of a blackout working in a strip club.
Nu-uh.
I mean, there's a lot more to the story, but basically yeah.
So tell me about the sweatshirts that you make.
Okay, well - Is that yours? - This one? No.
This is like my favorite shirt and I got a hole in it, so I just put a bunch more holes in it to match.
I can see that.
But the one at the party was, the one at the party was bamboo, I made that one.
So do you want to start your own line? I would love to.
Like, yeah.
I just, I don't know the next step.
There's a warehouse downtown that sells out fabric.
Really? Uh huh.
That's really hard to find, actually.
Do you want to go with me and find some samples? Heck, yes.
I would love that.
Absolutely.
- Alright.
- Nice.
- We will do that.
- Okay, good.
Yo, can you put your phone away? Like that's really rude.
- What? - We're about to eat.
Hey hey hey.
Here's the star right here.
Chicken legs! Oh, boy.
- It looks really good.
- Bon appetite.
Hey mom, like are we gonna say Grace first? - We always say Grace.
- We always say Grace.
[Laughing.]
I was so anxious to eat Okay, um Our heavenly father, I want to thank everybody for coming today, I want to bless the hands about to eat this food, and please bless the hands who prepared the food, hallelujah and Jesus amen, and let's eat.
Okay.
I made my vegetable.
- Is this organic? - Uh, organic.
Well, [Indistinct.]
, I guess, until we fried them in some grease.
This is fried chicken.
I eat the grisel and the skin first, then go in.
[Laughing.]
That's right, girl.
Mmm.
- Where you from, Steven? - It's Stephen.
Same thing, same thing.
Yes.
Alright, where you from, Stephen? He lives downtown, he's actually a lawyer.
Oh, a lawyer! That's mama's baby.
Well Stephen, you can hook me up with one of your lawyer friends.
Yeah, you should introduce her, and her two tittays.
- What is wrong with you? - Boy are you serious? I'm just saying, they fake.
I'm going to let your mother know what you been doing.
You ain't got nothing on me.
- He has been having sex.
- What? The worst thing is that it's the size of a tootsie roll.
Not from my side of the family.
You know I'm a virgin, mama, I'm going to wait until marriage, just like you.
That's right, just like I wanted to.
Okay, can we please have this conversation when we don't have company? - Is this malt liquor? - Yeah, malt liquor.
What, is that a good thing? Not enough bubbles for you, Stephen? It's good for you.
It'll counteract the grease.
In the organic fried chicken.
[Laughing.]
I'll have some of that.
[Coughing.]
So are you going to be coming to the performance? What performance? My son is the prettiest girl you ever seen in your life.
He looks just like Patti LaBelle.
That's right.
[Laughing.]
Listen, can we change the subject please? - What are they talking about? - He's a drag queen.
- What's wrong with you? - I'm eating.
You're what? You're a drag queen.
Yeah.
- Female impersonator.
- That's right.
Can I use the rest room, please? Behind me.
Is your friend okay, Troy? Baby, you know you're not right for putting your brother out there.
[Indistinct.]
You're not invited, you need to stay home alone.
That's right.
[Laughing.]
My big brother dresses up like a girl, is what I said.
So when were you going to tell me that you do drag? Oh, so you're talking to me now? Right.
You weren't going to tell me.
You wouldn't even have found out if it wasn't for my family.
You weren't invited, I would have done my show, you still wouldn't have found out That's the problem.
Your family had to say it.
You're supposed to be able to open up to me and share things like that with me.
Well at this rate, I don't know what the fuck we're doing because the way you treated my family was really messed up.
I treated your family horribly? All I did was ask if the chicken was organic.
Oh and I would have hurt you to eat a fucking piece of chicken? Yeah, I don't eat anything that's not organic.
Why do you act so [Indistinct.]
, like why is that? You're not better than anybody else.
You don't know anything about me.
I know that you're full of shit, - I know that much.
- Oh, now I'm full of shit.
You don't intimidate me, you're not going to intimidate me, you're unhappy so you're trying to make me unhappy, I have more shit than you will ever have because I have a family that loves me.
Where's your family? You know what, you're replaceable.
Get out of my car.
Whatever.
Like, it's just a joke to you, so I'm over this shit.
Fuck this.
[Door slamming.]
Hey don't slam my fucking door.
[Door closing.]
Hey, it's Brian.
Leave me a message.
Hey.
It's me.
I am not coming home.
Again.
Tonight.