Eastwick s01e04 Episode Script

you do realize,I'm paying you for a statue,not a suit.
And you realize that cologne is something you spray on,not bathe in.
ooh,I think you might need a longer tapa longer tape.
mind if i close these curtains? Oh,if privacy is what it's going to take,be my guest.
morning,neighbor.
I thought you might enjoy some fresh fruit.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away,right? What,did I muddle the pression? No,no.
That's-- that's the expression.
I'm just trying to decide if I should eat that or not.
Do you not like apples? Oh,no,I love apples,but they can be deceptive.
You know,they look all red anjuicy on the outside,but inside,there could be bruises - or poison.
- Why would there be poison? Well,only if someone were trying to kill me,but why would someone try and kill little old me,right? - I have no idea.
- Me,neither.
Shall I take the apple back,then? I think it's best.
- morgan! - I thought that was you.
-  It is.
And it's you,which is a lot weirder since I live here and you don'T.
- You don't,right?- No.
Uh,I'm just-- boy,I wish I could stay and chat,but unfortunately,I'm-- I'm very late for work.
Not like "oops,I missed a period late," whh would be pretty impossible right now.
Not--not that I'm n-not having a lot of sex.
I definitely am-- just,you know safe sex.
Safer sex.
Because we all know that safe sex is really a myth.
Teen pregnancy m be down,but many studies indicate that kids are just doing it in the bad place now.
So,anyway,nice to see you,morgan.
Kids!Hey,kids! ray,it's me again.
I just wanna know that everyone is okay.
call me back,okay? call me back,you son of a bitch! *** yes,this is kat gardener.
I need to report a kidnapping.
morgan is here.
Holy crap.
Okay,walk with me.
Now,what is ex-fiance morgan doing in eastwick? I have no idea,but he was standing outside my apartment building,and he grabbed my shoulder.
Okay,calm down.
Just w-walk me through it.
I swear,it was like seeing a ghost.
I mean,he looks exactly the same.
He has the same smile,the same crinkly eyes.
Same darkly evil soul,who left you standing alone at the altar.
I can't believe that it's been two years.
I mean,I still have nightmares where I'm standing at the back of that big beautiful church in downtown boston, and I'm wearing my-- my vera chang wedding dress,and--and I'm puking into this potted plant because he just teed me to say that he just couldn't do it.
You wore a vera chang wedding dress? Couldn't afford vera wang.
That's okay.
So you never heard from himgain? well,a week later,he drunk e-mailed me,but it was kind of rambling.
He said that he was sorry,that hdidn't just break my heart--he also broke his.
And then it was five paragraphs about some episode of "cheers" he was watching on "nick at nite.
" Which episode? - really? - No.
Sorry.
- So you never wrote back to him? - No.
I picked myself up,and I burned my vera chang,and I sent out 300 resumes to every newspaper I could find, and only one responded-- you know,"eastwick.
" Yeah.
It was fate.
You ended up exactly where you're supposed to be.
You know,you're doing great here.
You finally lost your boston accent.
Remember when you used to pronounce "park" like park? Penny,that man took six years of my life.
I thought we were soul mates,and then he pooped on my heart.
And now things with will are finally starting to happen,and then,boom! Morgan shows up.
I mean,what the hell does that mean? It means you finally get to rub it in his stupid,ugly facE.
You're happy,you have a great life,you have a great job,you have a great friend named penny, and tomorrow night,you have a date with an ome photographer who looks like a nordic sex god.
I mean,karma,baby.
Oh,my god.
He sent me flowers.
"Congratulations on your front page story.
Love,darryl van horne.
" Ugh,what a sleazoid.
Of course he loved your story,because it kept the story about him out of the papers for another day.
Speaking of which,what's our next move?Huh? On our darryl van horne expose.
My source--my secret source-- gave me another name-- dominic savage.
Some guyrom new york.
You think we should do a little digging? I bet you morgan called my mom.
How else would he know that I moved here? sheriff teaser,I don't even know how long they've been gone for.
I mean,he could've taken them in the middle of the night.
They could be halfway to mexico by now.
- How-- okay,puppy control! Let's go,guys.
Come on.
Let's go.
Move it.
Let's go,let's go,let's go.
- Oh,hi,guys!Come on,buddy.
- Come on.
Let's go.
Oh,where-- where have you been? We got a puppy,mommy! I'm gonna name him tivo,can I? where'd you take the kids? Uh,to breakfast,then we hit the playground for a little while.
Tease!What's happening,buddy?Everything okay? No.
No,everything is not okay.
Why didn't you answer your phone?I must have called you at least 20 times! Uh,yep.
Phone was off.
sorry,babe.
Don't give me that crap!You could've at least left me a note! You could've left me a note.
you know,last night I get up in the middle of the night to take a leak.
She was just gone.
You know what?I should get going.
Okay,thanks.
Thanks,sheriff teaser.
hey,em,emily.
Sweetheart,why don't you take everyone upstairs and go give tivo a bath,okay? - Okay.
- All right.
Go on.
Go on.
You got him?Okay.
"phone was off," my ass! Yodithat on purpose to scare me.
But I did leave you a note.
It was on the card that you left out for .
- Yeah.
It said,"gollo he.
" - Wasn't a long note.
You know,I-I-I don't even know where that card came from.
Spare me,kat.
I've been putting up with your passive-aggressive crap my whole life.
Cannot sayI was expecting it last night.
- Would you let me explain? - What's to explain? You duped me into taking you out on the town one last time,so you can get your rocks off.
Keep your voice down!The kids are upstairs! - Pull your little crazy voodoo crap on the pool-- I had nothing to do with that! - I don't even know-- and then you split in the middle of the night so you cou go off and you could laugh about it with your gal pals! - You know what? - What,did you talk about how big of a chump I was? No!That has--no! All you wanted was one last ride on the raymond roller coaster.
All you had to do was ask,I would've given it to you.
You know what?I am not even gonna try talking to you when you're like this.
Yeah,how about you just stop talking?!Stop talking! Period! You are a lying bitch,kat.
We're over,raymond! - You understand me?I am done! - Look at you.
Acting all tough,huh? Weren't so tough five minutes ago when you thought I took the kids.
And guess what,kat?I could do it again.
I could do it again,just like that.
Maybe--maybe next time,i don't come back,huh? You want a war,raymond? You just got one.
I don't see why you're taking all these measurements all of a sudden.
You do realize I'm paying you for a statue,not for a suit.
All right,I know it's not one of my best lines,but it's no reason to get sick over it.
It's not that.
What's wrong? hello!Y.
I thought I saw I-I-I actually definitely did see, but it wasn't exactly as I saw it before,but what are the odds,right? Okay.
If that's code for "have sex with me,you bull," the answer is yes.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
What is it,roxie? I think my psychic visionsare on the fritz.
Oh,I hate when that ppens.
I mean,first I dreamed he had a scar on his hip,but there's no scar.
Then I dreamed he's stalking me through the window,but now it just looks like a squirrel in the bushes.
I swear,I must be nuts'cause in my dreams,he's a creepy murder,but in real life,he's as sweet as pie.
Are we talking about your boyfriend? Because I would definitelyvote for "creepy murderer.
" Not chad.
I'm talking about jamie-- the guy who lives above my shop.
Should I be jealous? Have you dreamt of him naked? - I'm being serious.
- So am I.
I feel like I should do something,I just don't know what.
Or maybe I shouldn't do anything.
Maybe I should just ignore my visions and trust him.
Or maybe I should apply for a gun permit.
You know,roxie,socrates would say that there's only one great good-- that is knowledge.
And there's one great evil-- that is ignorance.
Awesome.
I don't get it.
Don't settle for ignorance.
Acquire some knowledge.
Find out everything you can about this man,and don't wait for a vision to help you.
How am I supposed to do that? Well,you're his neighbor,aren't you? Be neighborly.
look at me.
problem with small towns-- you just keep running into the same people.
Well,good lord!That store was hotter than a goat's butt in a pepper patch.
Oh,but they did have the cutest little baby eese wheels.
We have got to get some.
Is that my latte? Did they have soy? Uh,I'm sorry.
This is,uh,my fianc charlene.
We're actually getting married here this weekend.
Oh,you're-- you're--you're - Oh,right,sorry.
This is - joanna frankel.
I went to college with morgan.
oh,w fun! I haven't hardly met any of my moo-moo's friends.
He is so private.
So you actually live here? Well,I just think this is the sweetest town.
My mama and I--we came here once when I was just a little girl.
And when we saw that ranch y'all had,right next to that itty-bitty church, well,I just knew I had to get married here one day.
You've got a little poppy seed stuck in your teeth there,sugar.
- oh,no,charlene.
Please don'T - got it.
- Good as new.
- Excellent.
I'm late for work,so nice to meet you,charlene,and congratulations.
Bye! And then he basically implied that he was gonna kidnap my children.
Honestly,honestly!What judge would give a lunatic like that custody? No judge,that's who! Especially after you fire his ass.
I'm not sure that firing your husband's ass is the answer here.
Okay,that might not be the final answer,but it is a damn good place to start.
I want that man to feel pain! I must admit,it is thrilling toatch you finally getting angry,kat.
And i love cooking up revenge strategies,but there is a certain breed of people who plays this game better than others.
- Mafia? - No.
Lawyers.
I believe I gave youthis card before.
Trust me,she is the best.
Uh,darryl,I-I-I just I can't afford someone from new york.
She owes me several favors.
- Yeah,still.
I just don't think I could-- I insist.
I don't know what to say.
Please.
It's my pleasure.
Are we ready? how could he be getting married? Because god hates me.
There is no other explanation for it.
- I would've died.
Did you die? I would've died.
- Who died? - My cow.
- Her aunt.
Well,technically,my aunt's cow.
- she was a farmer.
- yeah.
Hi,will.
how--how are you?Are you doing okay? I'm doing pretty great,actually.
I have a date with the mostamazing girl tomorrow night.
oh,me! - right.
- So,um,I gotta go.
It's my,uh,volunteer night at the firehouse,but,um,I'llsee you tomorrow night at 7:00.
I'm really excited,joanna.
Yeah.
Me,too.
Especially because you don't seem like the kind of guy who would leave a girlat the altar.
Not that we're gonna get married or anything.
Obviously.
see ya.
I'm buying you a muzzle.
I have got to postponethis date.
I can't go out with will,in my condition.
You can!Sure you can.
In fact,definitely should.
Hey,listen.
Can we "boys-on-the-side" it for just a second and talk about the darryl story? I really think it's important that we follow up on the information that my secret source gave us.
Yeah,sorry.
I'm gonna go outside for a minuteticknd s my head between my legs because I can feel my muffiming up.
Great.
you are cute.
- hey,roxie.
- Hello.
I still cannot believe you broke into that man's house! Roxie,you could've been arrested! Well,darryl told me I should try and get to know him.
Well,when I wanted to get to know my neighbors,I baked them cookies.
Look,you're missing the point.
Yes,it was illegal and a total violation of his privacy and incredibly stupid and dangerous and blah,blah,blah.
Look.
I saw this exact symbol branded into jamie's hip.
Or I thought I did in a dream I had--only in real life,it wasn't actually there,but it is here.
- How crazy is that? - Weird.
I've seen this symbol,too carved into the door of eleanor roument's house.
- Who? - Crazy lady.
Lives in the woods.
Long story.
I've also seen it.
Bun--in the hospital,she was drawing it over and over and over.
You know what? You know what? We live in a town with all kinds of silly,witchy,touristy bull crap.
This has got to be related somehow.
Nter de brujas it's just another silly,witchy,touristy,bull-crappy symbol.
You know,jamie did say he's wring a book on the history witchcraft in eastwick.
Well,then,there you go.
You see?That's why he has this book.
It's an artifact.
It's historical.
And you stole it.
It's so cool.
It's got all these spells and recipes and prayers.
Half of it is written in latinor some kind of ancient celtic language.
It's like different people have been adding on to it for centuries.
This one says it can create a pox of redness raw and blisters bubbling.
I wouldn't mind spreading a pox on someone right about now.
Yeah.
What is going on with raymond? You sounded so pissed on the phone today.
- She sounded pissed.
- Well,I'm hiring that lawyer.
- no way! - Get out! Yep.
Darryl's friend from new york-- she is flying in tomorrow.
Fancy schmancy.
Oh,no,no.
I'm not going for fancy.
I'm going for fierce,as in,take-no-prisoners.
I am.
done trying to be nice.
Yeah,screw nice!You wanna take him for all he'sgot.
Just grab him by the balls.
Joanna,anything you'd le to share with the group? Uh,not really.
Just that my,um,ex-fianc? showed up today in town with his new fianc.
Did I tell you guys that I was left at the altar? 'Cause I was.
Yeah,it was awesome.
Honey,I had no idea.
That is terrible.
Yeah,it was,it was.
It was super-duper-duper terrible,and then I buried it all deep, deep down and suffocated the feelings until I saw morgan again today and then it was like,poof! Hi,feelings.
But what about will?I thought things were going so good with him.
Oh,will,yeah.
I'm meeting him at the eastwick inn tomorrow night for a date.
See Joanna,that's fantastic.
Forget about that other guy.
Your life is on a major upswing,right,kat? Oh,absolutely! You just got a promotion at work,you had a front-page article in the paper, and you have an incredibly handsome guy that's totally into you.
Morgan used to be into me.
he used to leave me these little post-it notes that said,"I love you" all over the apartment.
God,what--what happen?! It doesn't matter.
Don't waste your time thinking about why or what could have been.
Trust me-- you play with fire,you're gonna get burned.
I'm done talking about me.
Let's give kat's husband a pox.
I'm in.
What do we need? - I'm gonna need some candles.
- I'm gonna need some more vodka.
I've got both.
come on! oh,come on! Where is it? hello?I'm not spying.
I heard noises.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
I I didn't mean to make such a racket.
come in.
- I have a shop to run downstairs,so - I know.
I'm--I'm so sorry.
Are you okay? I'm not,actually.
I-I seem to have lost something very dear to me-- a scrapbook.
Uma keepsake from my mother.
I know it sounds ridiculous.
A grown man shouldn't be attached to sentimental rubbish.
I'm sure your mother wouldn't think it's rubbish.
Must be important--she gave it to you.
Um,technically,she left it for me.
Yeah.
You see,I neveractually knew my mother.
I was put up for adoption while I was still a baby.
And then my adoptive parents were killed in a car accident when I was 4 years old.
After that,I was shuffled in and out of foster homes until finally, I earned myself a scholarship to a boarding school outside of london.
- I never had a real family.
- I'm so sorry.
It's a rather dickensian tale,I'm afraid.
Terribly depressg,but it's why I've come here.
I thought you came to write a book.
I did,but I chose this particular town because I traced my family roots here.
See,I was born in eastwick.
- So was my mother.
- I had no idea.
Yes,well,it's not the first thing I like to blurt out when I meet new people, but now I seem to have lost my only family heirloom.
I suppose a pity party might be in order.
maybe it'll turn up.
You st al have lot of boxes left to unpack-- could be in any one of these.
Look,I'm sorry.
I-I promise to keep the noise down.
you must think I'm a terrible neighbor.
Not at all.
Trust me.
I know what a terrible neighbor looks like.
You're gonna be late for work.
raymond,your dog has fleas!Come here.
Thank you for bringing him into the house without getting him checked first.
The dog is fine,all right? If you're gonna kick me out of the bedroom,you might as well at least buy me an alm clock.
Yeah,well,you're gonna have to buy a lot more stuff when you move out of here.
Alarm clock should be the least of your concern.
I'm not going anywhere.
I hope that your lawyer isprepared for tomorrow's meeting.
Don't worry about me.
My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.
saw that on a t-shirt.
Would you,um,make yourself useful and go fetch me some of that orange juice? I need to talk to you.
I know that I don'tdeserve it,but I just really need to explain some things.
Please? Oh,god! I love this place.
It's so beautiful.
I've always wanted to come here.
Really? Raymond never took you? Well,raymond actually used to work here as a busboyback in high school.
And there was an incidentwhere he tampered with a customer's bouillabaisse.
He was banned for life.
Ivanka.
Radiant,as always.
you must be katarina.
Uh,it--it's katherine.
Well,kat,actually.
- That dress is perfect.
- Oh,really? So dowdy.
Almost likea tortured pilgrim girl.
And that hair? All dry and desperate for highlights.
I love it.
You're the perfect victim.
Um,tha-thank you.
This is kat's rst divorce So you're gonna have to walk her through it.
Of course.
Your husband's name is raymond,correct? Yes,that is correct.
does raymond drink? Um,sometimes.
I mean,he definitely enjoys his beer.
So he's an alcoholic.
Excellent.
- Well,no,no.
I wouldn't call him an alcoholic,but he-- does he have a temper? - Um yeah,that would be a fair thing to say.
- Good.
- So he beats you.
- No.
What?No - Threatens you? - Uh,well,yeah,but not the way you're implying.
Really?You've never felt thatened by your husband n-no,I have,but not in,like,a-- so he's prone to violence,which makes you feel unsafe and concerned for the well-being of your children.
I didn't--I didn't realize it was gonna be like this.
All right,kat.
Kat,look at me.
Uh I want you to remember how you felt when you thought raymond had stolen your children and his casually cruel suggestion that he just might do it again.
He is playing with you.
So now the question is,are you going to let him,or are you gonna fight back? He used to smoke weed.
I just remember you standing in the kitchen in that weird homemade apron with yourlittle chef's torch, screaming,"the curtains are on fire!The curtains are on fire!" yeah.
I'm a bonehead.
You were adorable.
you wanted to make me c because it was my favorite.
you may have almost burned down our apartment building,but charlene's never even tried to microwave me something.
Could you not talk about charlene? - It makes me feel kinda oogie.
- sorry.
You were the best thing that ever happened to me,and I blew it.
Yep,it's true.
And now I'm sitting here with you and you look like a freakin' goddess.
I mean,you literally glow.
And it's not just how beautiful you are,it's something inside.
And now you just seem so confident,so powerful.
Yeah,well,I've been taking this piloxing class.
It's,like,a combination of pilates and boxing.
I'm still in love with you,joanna.
you're my soul mate.
No was until you left me puking and sobbing in anockoff dress in front of !50 people.
- Why did you do that? - Because I'm the world's biggest idiot.
Did you know that not a day goes by th i don't kick myself for what I did to you? Where?Someplace soft,I hope.
Except now I feel like fate is giving us another chance.
I mean,the fact that charlene wanted to get married in eastwick and then I see you here? If that's not a sign,I don't know what is.
I would be the world's biggest idiot if I were to buy any of this.
You're right.
Don't listen to me.
Listen to your heart.
What does it tell you? why did you have to come back the minute I got over you? Well,you're lucky.
'Cause i never got over you.
would it be wrong to say thank you for that? God,you are so beautiful.
I need to ask you something.
Okay.
Anything.
look me in the eye.
Tell the truth.
Why did you leave me on our wedding day? I knew I was settling.
You're always so scared of everything,and I just couldn't imagine a life without adventure,without risks.
Plus,let's face it-- you were cute,but you were not hot.
And the sex had gotten so tedious,not to mention the conversation.
"Ooh,I want to be a writer.
Why won't anybody hire me? " Was i really gonna listen to that every day for the rest of my life? I'd rather suck wood.
Also,the fact that one of your boobs was smaller than the other? It was traumatizing.
I mean,I never understood why you didn't get those fixed.
Oh,my god.
Oh my god.
Joanna,I'm so sorry.
I di I have no idea why I said any of that.
I di-- I didn't mean it at all.
I mean,obviously,I was kidding.
I mean,you know me and my bad sense of humor.
- Yep.
Yep.
- So we're cool? Cool,cool,coolio.
- okay.
if your lawyer's not coming-- hey,bob's coming,okay? - You hired bob as your lawyer? - Who is bob? Oh,his fishing buddy.
Who also happens to be a lawyer.
He did two semesters at law school! - That was all the man needed.
- You know what,raymond? - If you're not gonna take this thing seriously-- hey,everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
Lost track of time at the bowling alley.
I got a turkeyon the tenth frame.
That's three strikes in a row.
- Hey,kit-kat.
- Hey,bob.
Hey,buddy.
What--what happened to you? Yes,I'm assuming whatever you have going on there isn't contagious.
- he's got fleas.
- It's not fleas,okay? It's-- it's--it's an allergy condition,and I'm getting it checked out.
- Oh,please.
Raymond,you wouldn't even know the name of our family physician,so - interesting.
- Is that so,raymond? - No.
All right?She's full of crap I see.
So if one of your children got sick under your supervision,who would you call? Uh,uh I would call kat.
So what?She's--she's-- she's a freaking nurse.
Interesting.
This tea is just delicious.
I'm glad you still like it.
You know,I happen to knowfor a fact that's jasmine'syour favorite.
Oh,I don't know about that,but it tastes like heaven.
And thank you very much for the scones.
You don't have to be so formal with me,bun.
We've been friends for years.
If you say so,lady.
Am I very sick? You're not sick at all,bun.
You had a very scary thing happen to you.
You lost your memory.
You're gonna be fine,okay? I'm gonna grab my keys.
We'll go.
I-I'm gonna borrow your paper.
Mine didn't come.
What happened?Is everything okay? My book!You stole my book! How can that be yours?That book belonged to jamie's m-- oh,my god.
Tell me the plan again,in case I need to jump in and be your lieutenant, just like danny zuko was for kenickie when they had that raceat thunder road.
Do you think my boobs are weird? No,they're boob-iful.
And I'm good in bed,right? I-I have no ea.
He's the one who sucks.
He does the same thing every time-- him on top,me on top,flip-a-roo,done.
It's like the hokeypokey,emphasis on the pokey.
I stood up the world's nicest,most handsomest,most awesome guy in the world Just to get hokeypokey'd by a jerk who doesn't even like me.
I mean,what the hell is my problem? Well,lust makes us do stupid things,like pay 60 bucks for a brazilian.
- he's here.
- Okay.
I'm going in.
Okay,just remember the three things about lying-- keep it quick,keep it simple,keep it specific.
and if that doesn't work,you could just show him the big boob.
Hey,you.
Um,I'm so sorry about last night.
Did you get my message? - What message?- Yeah,I-I called you from my cell.
You really didn't t it? - No,I didn'T.
- You know what? It was probably becauseI called you from hewitt road,and my calls always break up on hewitt road.
It probably just didn't go through.
Well,I guess not.
You have to believe me,will.
I believe you.
Okay,well,then,um,let me make it up to you.
- Can I make you dinner tonight at my place? - Sounds good.
Uh,I'll be there at 8:00.
Great.
I'll be waiting.
Okay.
it's noodle,not tuna.
I owe you an apology,jamie.
I haven't been the best neighbor.
You see,one of the perks of growing up in a small town like eastwicke get to be a little judgmental of city folk like yourself.
I want to apologize for that.
Well,uh,totally unnecessary,but,um,noodles and apology accepted nonetheless.
Thank you.
- Would you like to join me? - Sure.
But you might wanto,pero tal vez quieras Make yourself at home.
here we go.
In europe,it's uncivilized to enjoy a meal without wine.
I really need to travel more.
So,uh,is this the book you're working on? Yeah,it is.
Actually,I've just been working on a chapter about the lenox mansion.
Fascinating history.
I got some great shots of it the other day.
So you were there.
But you were photographing the house? - Pardon? - Nothing.
Never mind.
So have you spent any time researching your mother yet? Ah,no,not really.
For some reason,I always seem to get a bit paralyzed on that point.
It must be overwhelming to think about.
But who knows?You spend enough time here,you might find your mother is alive and well and standing next to you right in line at the supermarket.
You never know.
I'll call you this afternoon once I put these together.
You did great,at.
Thank you,ivanka.
Hi,guys! Hey,did you get some ice cream? My tummy hurts.
Mrs.
Neff said it's stress.
Why are yoressed? 'Cause you hate daddy.
I do not hate daddy.
- Did he tell you that I did? - No.
Let's go.
We're going to grandma'S.
Let's go.
Come on.
Raymon raymond,did youtell the kids that I hate you? - Of course not.
- Well,then why would they think that I do? Well,gee,kat,I wonder.
Raymond,I think we need to talk about this.
Will I need a lawyer present? - Please don't do that.
- You know what,kat? I'm not doing anything.
come on.
Let's go.
code red.
Code red.
Hello.
I'm gonna need to see some form of identification.
- Uh,it's a homeland security-- hey.
Joanna.
What are you doing here? Wei thought I'd take you out to dinner.
Uh,don't--don't you havesomeplace to be right now,like--like your wedding? What are you talking about?I broke up with charlene this morning.
You what?oh,boy.
You didn't actually think that I was gonna stay with her after last night.
It would be wrong to get married to someone when I'm sleeping with someone else.
Now I may be a lot of things,but I don't cheat except with my soul mate,obviously.
He's got boundaries.
Yeah,morgan,um,last--last night was a mistake.
Okay?It was a big mistake for both of us.
How can three times be a mistake? Boundariesand incredible stamina.
What did you think was gonna happen? Did you think I was gonna just move back to boston with you and resume our lives? I already know that you think that I'm tedious and bad in bed and not hot enough for you.
- I was kidding.
- No,you weren'T.
You know what?It doesn't matter what you think about me,morgan.
What matters is what I think about you,and I think you're a coward.
- So do I.
- You're the one who's afraid.
- You're afraid of commitment,you're afraid of real intimacy,and that is why you walked out on me - and charlene.
- oh,snap! Because you're afraid of being with one person for the rest of your life.
You know what?Fine.
Forget it.
- Whatever.
- Bye.
Oh,and,uh,by the way,you also have terrible "back-ne," a mild case of halitosis,and miniscule man berries.
I happen to be an avid cyclist.
Teeny tiny testes-- we're talking smurf-sized.
- oh,my god.
You did it.
- Oh,my god.
I did it.
I've never done anything like that in my entire life.
That felt amazing.
It was awesome.
I don't think I'll be coming over for dinner tonight.
- Oh,no.
Will.
- Or ever.
come here.
I shouldn't have left in the middle of the night like that.
I'm sorry.
I just I don't get what happened.
- Weere having such a good time.
- I know.
I know.
We were.
We were at first.
And then we started fighting,like we always do,and I realized that nothing had actually changed.
No,that's not true.
Something had changed-- me,ray.
I'm not the same person that I was,and I can't go backwards.
So do you not love me anymore?Is that it? no,I will always love you,ray.
I just don't love us anymore.
you know? I fid ivanka.
You did? Yeah.
This divorce esn't have to get nasty if we don't let it.
You know,I don't want the kids to suffer any more than they already have.
I was thinking we could try,um,bird nesting,for a little while at least.
You know,the kids stay here in the house,and then you and I each take turns living with them.
That way--that way we don't have to disrupt their lives too much.
that sounds like a pain in the ass.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But at least it's a pain for the right people.
Hey,you can have the first week.
Where you gonna go?Hmm? I'll figure it out.
And this is my shop.
A-and look-- there's homer perl.
You introduced me to homer perley and helped me get a great lease on the place.
- Do you remember homer? - No.
I'm tired.
And one of us smells like broccoli,and I'm pretty sure it's you.
Okay.
I'll take you home,bun.
But we're gonna keep doing this until we get your memory back.
Hey,roxie.
Jamie.
His is my friend bun.
Hello,bun.
Very nice to meet you.
So I've got some more work to finish up.
I'll see you later.
I know tt boy.
I held him when he was a baby.
I know you did,bun.
I'm gonna help you.
I promise.
welcome home,roomie.
sorry I'm late.
Well,you should be.
I've been waiting all night.
Sorry.
I think joanna's ready to jump back into that darryl van horne piece, so if you have any more information about that dominic savage guy, - we need to get it now.
- I do,but that can wait.