Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e04 Episode Script

1
[WHISTLE]
[WHISTLING]
[PPPBLL!]
[ED LAUGHING]
Eddy: ED! ED!
WILL YOU QUIT MOVING AROUND?
OH, ED!
YES, EDDY!
STAND STILL!
UGH! WHOA!
THIS WILL PROTECT YOU
FROM ANY DISGUSTING OR UNSAVORY
LIFE FORMS YOU MAY ENCOUNTER.
[SNAP!]
COOL!
Eddy: OK, DOUBLE-D, LET'S PULL!
OOF! MMPH!
Eddy: PULL!
ED WEIGHS A TON!
I'M GETTING A HERNIA.
HEY, ED, HOW'S IT LOOK?
MMPH-MM-MMPH!
HMM.
MMPH-MM-GRK!
A LITTLE LOWER.
COME ON, DOUBLE-D.
EASY NOW!
LOWER.
WHOA!
YIY!
PERFECT!
THINK OF THE TREASURE, DOUBLE-D!
HMM?
I WONDER HOW LONG HE
CAN STAY DOWN THERE?
WELL, ACCORDING TO
THE PARTICLE RATIO OF
OW!
THAT'S THE SIGNAL!
HEY!
BRING HIM OVER.
EASY NOW.
ANY LUCK, FUR HEAD?
OH, YEAH!
YES!
WHOO-HOO! WE'RE RICH!
COIN FOR JAWBREAKERS!
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
MMPH-HOO!
WE CAN BUY JAWBREAKERS!
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
WE'LL BE SLURPING
JAWBREAKERS FOR WEEKS.
ACTUALLY, EDDY, WITH CURRENT EXCHANGE
RATES, MAYBE AN AFTERNOON'S WORTH.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHA
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, ED?
HUH? ED?
ED?
ED!
ED!
HEY! [SNAPS]
WHAT'S CLOGGED
UP YOUR BRAIN, ED?
THAT. SEE?
"ROBOT REBEL RANCH"!
WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
HUH?
WAAAH!!!
IT'S NOT FAIR!
[SMACK]
IF ONLY I WERE OLDER.
DON'T WORRY, ED, WE'LL
SEE IT ON TV IN A YEAR.
WITH ALL THE GOOD STUFF CUT OUT.
DON'T SWEAT IT, GUYS.
WHERE THERE'S A
WILL, THERE'S A SCAM.
THE FIRST THING WE DO
IS CASH IN THESE BABIES
FOR TICKET MONEY.
ONWARD, SPACE FLUNKIES!
Ed: WHOA, THIS IS
THE COOLEST MOVIE.
SINCE I'M THE MOS
MATURE LOOKING,
I'll GO IN FIRST.
DOUBLE-D CAN BE MY WIFE.
BLECH!
ED'S TALLER. I
THINK HE SHOULD
TELL YOU THAT THE STORY
BEGINS WITH 3 SPACE OUTLAWS
WHO CRASH-LAND
ON A ROBOT PLANET.
AMAZING!
SHOCK-O-RAMA!
R-RATED.
AND THEY HAVE TO
FIGHT OFF THE ROBOTS.
BUT THEY ALSO MUST TRY
TO ESCAPE BACK TO EARTH,
OR THE ROBOTS WILL
GRIND THEIR BONES TO BITS
WHEN THE 3 SPACEMEN
LOSE CONTROL OF THEIR SHIP
AND HURTLE INTO A FIELD OF ASTEROIDS
THAT ALMOST CRUSH THEM INTO SPACE DUST.
THEY'RE SUCKED INTO A
DIMENSIONAL TIME PORTAL
THAT TRANSPORTS THEM
TO THE ROBOT PLANET
YIY WHOA! AHH!
[CRASH]
OW!
AND OUR HEROES FIND
THEIR SHIP DESTROYED.
THEY'RE MAROONED
ON THE ROBOT PLANET.
Eddy: HEY, LOOK!
Ed: WHOA!
WHOA!
HUH? HUH? HUH?
[WHIR]
COOL!
NOT COOL, NOT COOL!
MMPH! MMPH.
UH-OH.
WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
I HAVE AN IDEA.
[JINGLING]
[BOING]
COME IN, EARTH, COME IN, EARTH.
COME IN, EARTH,
REPEAT, COME IN, EARTH.
NO RESPONSE!
THERE'S NO RESPONSE!
ARE YOU SAYING WE'RE STRANDED?!
THEN THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME
BEFORE THE COLD ROBOT PLANE
NIGHTS SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF US.
WE MUST FIND SHELTER!
Echo: SHELTER! SHELTER! SHELTER!
HA HA HA!
COME ON, COME ON!
NOT MUCH FARTHER NOW!
YOU SAID THAT AN HOUR AGO, ED.
WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR AGAIN?
A CAVE!
THE FIRST THING THE SPACE OUTLAWS
FIND IS A CAVE TO PROTECT THEM FROM
YEAH, YEAH THE FROZEN
ROBOT PLANET NIGHTS!
WE'RE NEVER GOING
TO FIND SHEL HUH?
HEY!
Together: COOL!
HA!
HUH? HUH?
Edd: COOL!
HEY, GUYS, COME ON IN.
ENJOY THE GENUINE SHAG CARPETING
AND THE WATERBED!
[LA CUCARACHA]
BOYS, WELCOME TO
CENTRAL COMMAND!
PREPARE FOR YOUR
IMMINENT CAPTURE, EDDY.
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME!
WHOO!
WHERE DID HE GO?
WHERE DID HE GO?
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!
WOO-YAH! WAH!
YOW!
AAAH!!
BING-BING!
ER-ER-ER!
HA! MISSED ME! YOU LOSE!
HA HA HA!
HEY, GUYS, COME UP HERE!
[HIDEOUS LAUGHTER]
SPIN HIM AGAIN!
LEE!
GET AWAY FROM ME.
FOR 200, WHAT COLOR'S
YOUR UNDERWEAR?
THIS IS STUPID!
ER!! ER!! ER!!
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
[KEVIN SCREAMS]
DUMB GIRLS, WHA
COLOR IS SHEESH!
Girls: OH, KEVIN!
STAY BACK!
HIDEOUS, LIFE-SUCKING ALIENS HAVE
CAPTURED A FELLOW SPACE OUTLAW!
WHICH OF THE 3 BRAVE EXPLORERS
WOULD TAKE THE RISK TO SAVE HIM?
I WILL SAVE HIM!
FULL SPEED AHEAD!
STOP, ED!
WHOA!!
MY TURN!
Ed: RELEASE HIM,
EVIL SPACE MUTANTS!
WHAT IS THAT?!
YOW!
RUN FOR IT, GIRLS!
AHH! AAH! AHH!
DO NOT PANIC,
FELLOW SPACE OUTLAW!
I HAVE COME TO RESCUE YOU.
JUST GET ME DOWN, YOU OOH!
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?
UH I I AM A FEARLESS
SPACE OUTLAW.
YEAH, RIGHT SPACE DORK!
DORK?
WHOA!
DID YOU SAVE OUR
FELLOW SPACE OUTLAW?
YES, HE WAS MOST GRATEFUL.
WHAT? WHAT?
HUH, WHAT WAS THAT?
ROBOT BOUNTY HUNTERS.
WHOA!
[ROAR]
PREPARE TO BE
TERMINATED, SOLAR SCUM!
YO!
[ROAR]
Ed: NO!!
ED?
Ed: NO!!
DOUBLE-D, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
THEY'RE CLOSER NOW!
HEY, IS THIS THING READY YET?
WELL, ACTUALLY, EDDY,
SINCE IT'S JUST A PROTOTYPE,
AND STILL IN NEED OF EDDY!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
SEAT IN THIS THING.
WHY'D YOU JUST PU
IN ONE SEAT, DOUBLE-D?
I TOLD YOU, THIS
IS THE PROTOTYPE.
WHEN THIS IS PROPERLY TESTED,
THEN I'll BUILD THE REAL ONE.
YEAH, WHATEVER, LET'S
GO, DOUBLE-D. LIFT OFF!
BUT, EDDY, I STILL NEED TO
DOUBLE-D, FIRE THE ROCKET!
FINE, BUT YOU BETTER WEAR THIS.
OH, YEAH!
3, 2 1 IGNITION!
YEE-HAW!
EEEEE!
WHOO!
HUH?
WAAAH!!
BETTER TEST THE PARACHUTE.
WELL, AT LEAST THAT WORKED.
[BONK! BEEP!]
WAAAH!
HEY, DOUBLE-D!
THE ROCKET NEEDS WORK!
IT'S A PROTOTYPE!
Ed: THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!
THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!
THE PLANET SEEMED EERILY CALM,
AS THE APPROACH OF THE
ROBOT BOUNTY HUNTERS
WAS AWAITED FEARLESSLY
BY THE 3 BRAVE OUTLAWS.
IS THAT FOR REAL?
SHH.
[ROBOTS APPROACHING]
THEY APPROACH.
[BEEPING]
Ed: ATTACK!
VAPORIZING CYBER-GRENADE!
QUASI-NEURO LASERS!
SUBATOMIC BLASTERS!
HIT 'EM HARD!
OW, OW! OW!
ED!
GRR! [BONK]
WHAT THE HECK ARE
YOU GUYS DOING?!
UH UH UH NOTHING.
YOU HAVE TO COME HOME, ED.
IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!
COME ON, JIMMY.
YEAH, DINNER SOUNDS
GOOD. I'M HUNGRY.
ONLY ONE WAS LEFT ALIVE
AFTER THE HORRIBLE BATTLE.
WOUNDED AND STRANDED,
WOULD HE EVER GE
OFF THE ROBOT PLANET?
WOULD HE EVER GET HOME?
WOULD HE
OH, NO! BETRAYED BY
HIS OWN COMRADES!
Eddy: I GOT IT, I
GOT IT, I GOT IT!
Together: AW!
BE PATIENT, EDDY.
OK.
WHOO, BINGO!
Ed: COMMENCE LIFT!
CAREFUL. OK, OK!
IT'S FALLING OFF, EDDY.
I GOT IT, I GOT IT!
SLOWLY.
WHO'S THE MAN WITH THE PLAN?
Ed and Edd: EDDY!
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!
HEY, MY MONEY!
[GULP]
THAT BIRD JUST STOLE MY GUM!
HEY!
WHEN DOES THIS TORMENT STOP?
IT WAS IN THE PALM OF MY HAND.
WHO INVENTED BIRDS, ANYWAY?
WHAT GOOD ARE THEY?
I LOST THE BIRD.
LOOK! THAT PLANE'S GOT A CAPE.
WHERE? WHO'S THERE?
Eddy: IT'S TOWING A SIGN.
WHAT'S IT SAY?
IT STATES
Together: HUH?
GUYS!
WHAT IF WE HAD A CLUBHOUSE?
WITH CLEAN SHEETS.
AND A ROOF.
HA HA HA!
THIS IS A PERFEC
SPOT, HUH, GUYS?
Kevin: HEY, DORKS, GE
OUT OF MY BACKYARD!
WEIRD, KEVIN ALREADY
HAS A CLUBHOUSE HERE.
SHUT UP, ED.
Eddy: CHECK IT OUT!
THIS IS A KILLER LOCATION.
IT'S MUCH TOO UNSANITARY, EDDY.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ED?
HEY, GUYS, HELP!
OW! OW!
THEY'RE TRYING TO
OW! GET MY CREAM PUFF!
OW! HERE, EDDY!
CATCH!
GOOD SHOT, ED.
WHOA!
UH OH.
Edd: IT SEEMS RATHER SMALL.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
AND THE LACK OF OXYGEN
IS RATHER DISTURBING.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Ed: HEY, GUYS, I MAY
HAVE ALREADY WON $10,000.
I TELL YA, DOUBLE-D,
WE GOT TO FIND A LOCATION.
WITHOUT ONE IT'S HOPELESS.
DOUBLE-D?
THERE.
WHOA!
WHAT?
Together: COOL!
HMM. HMM.
WAIT.
WE HAVE TO INSPECT IT FIRST.
DOUBLE-D, COME WITH ME.
OW! OOH!
HMM.
HMM?
WHOA!
HEH-HEH. IT'S A FUNNY TREE.
[SPLAT]
HUH?
HMM.
LEAF FOLIAGE SEEMS HEALTHY.
[SNIFFS]
THIS TREE IS PERFECT.
THIS IS OUR NEW CLUBHOUSE.
OUR OWN CLUBHOUSE.
THIS WILL BE SO COOL.
WHERE'S THE DOOR, EDDY?
HEY, BIRDBRAIN, THAT'S A TREE.
WE STILL NEED TO
BUILD THE CLUBHOUSE.
THAT'S THE BIRD THA
TOOK MY QUARTER!
I HATE BIRDS.
THAT'S OK, EDDY, WE GOT A TREE.
OUR PARENTS WILL NEVER
KNOW THEY'RE MISSING.
ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO USE THESE?
[MOTOR RUNS]
[POUND]
PLEASE, STOP!
TREES HAVE FEELINGS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
BUILDING A CLUBHOUSE.
WE NEED LUMBER,
EDDY, BEFORE WE CAN
DOUBLE-D, WE NEED TO FIND WOOD.
START LOOKING.
PRECISELY.
Ed: YIP YIPPY KAI OOO!
WHERE DOES WOOD GROW?
HELLO, EDDY?
NOT NOW, JONNY, I'M THINKING.
ABOUT THE TREE?
CUT IT OUT, PLANK.
PLANK! WOOD!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WHO'S THERE?
OH! OH! OH!
PLANK WOULD MAKE
A GREAT CLUBHOUSE.
EDDY, WE WOULD REQUIRE
MUCH MORE LUMBER
DETAILS, DETAILS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, JONNY BOY?
NO, GIVE HIM BACK!
KNOW WHERE WE COULD
FIND MORE WOOD, JONNY BOY?
PLANK KNOWS.
HE SEES THINGS.
THERE!
HUH?
A DIRTY POPSICLE STICK?
GOT IT, EDDY. GRR.
WE NEED LARGE
PIECES OF WOOD, JONNY.
TELL PLANK TO QUI
FOOLING AROUND.
OK, OK!
HE SAID FOLLOW HIM.
THAT'S PERFECT!
HOLD IT THERE, ED.
[PANTING]
OK, ED, TO THE TREE.
I CAN'T MOVE.
NOT A PROBLEM, ED.
GIDDYAP.
WHOA!!
WHOA.
LET'S GO SEE.
THE MAPLE HAS LANDED!
HEH-HEH. HA HA HA.
I DON'T GET IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DOUBLE-D?
I'M FINISHING THE DESIGN
ON OUR NEW CLUBHOUSE.
OH, LET ME SEE.
HMM.
OK, ED, UP THAT TREE.
HUH?
UP YOU GO.
HMMPH!
I'M SCARED, EDDY.
NO PROBLEM, ED.
UH, EDDY?
HUH?
Eddy: START CRANKING, DOUBLE-D!
HARDER, DOUBLE-D!
I NEED HELP!
OK, HERE COMES MR. MUSCLE.
GOOD WORK, DOUBLE-D!
GOOD FOUNDATION.
I HAVE DOUBTS ABOU
ITS STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
WA WHOA!
WOO! HUH?
WAA!
WHOA! WHOA!
HMM, DOUBLE-D, YOU'RE A WHIZ.
LET'S START BUILDING.
LOOKING GOOD.
HAVING FUN, ED?
SURE AM, EDDY.
WATCH YOUR STEP, BIG FELLA.
SURE AM, EDDY.
[CRASH]
WARM UP THE WINCH, DOUBLE-D.
PUT THIS ON. IT WILL
PROTECT YOUR HEAD.
FROM WHAT I DON'T KNOW.
[WHIR]
HOLD THAT TIGHT, ED.
[WHIR]
HUH?
WHOA!
ED, WHY IS YOUR HELME
TIED TO YOUR BUTT?
FOR PROTECTION.
IT'S MEANT FOR YOUR HEAD.
IT'S MY BUTT.
IT'S NOT SAFE!
EDDY, STOP!
IT'S NOT MEANT ARGH! AAAH!
WA! OH!
AAH!
[CRASH]
YOO-HOO!
PAINTING'S FUN!
YES, VERY LIBERATING.
HOW YA DOING, ED?
LIBERATED!
WE'RE DONE, BOYS.
Ed: WOW.
EVERYONE WILL WAN
TO JOIN OUR CLUB.
NOW LET'S ROUND UP SOME SUCKERS.
I MEAN, MEMBERS.
[LAUGHING]
HUH?
[LAUGHTER]
SURE IS GREA
TO BE IN THIS CLUB.
WHAT CLUB?
JUST THE COOLEST, HIPPEST,
MOST EXTREMELY HAPPENING
CLUB IN THE WHOLE STINKING WORLD!
HEY, TAKE A FLIER!
JOIN NOW!
YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE STOCK CAR RACES?
YOU BETCHA. AND
JUST WHERE ARE YOU
GOING TO HOLD YACHT RACES?
AND HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO PAY FOR ALL THIS?
HEY!
GOOD QUESTION, KEVIN.
FUNDING FOR SUCH
HIGH-QUALITY EVENTS
WILL BECOME REALITY
AFTER I COLLEC
EVERYBODY'S MEMBERSHIP FEES.
Edd: ACTUALLY, EDDY, EVEN
WITH MEMBERSHIP FEES,
I DON'T KNOW THAT WE CAN
AFFORD TO HAVE THESE EVENTS.
SURE WE CAN!
PLANK THINKS YOU'LL SPEND THE
MEMBERSHIP FEES ON JAWBREAKERS.
NO! AT CLUB ED, YOU
CAN TRUST THESE FACES.
Kevin: I BET YOU DON'
EVEN HAVE A CLUBHOUSE.
OH? I'll SHOW YOU A CLUBHOUSE.
TO THE CLUBHOUSE!
Together: WELCOME TO CLUB ED!
[LAUGHTER]
WHAAA! OH, NO!
Edd: OH, OH, EDDY.
GET OUT OF OUR CLUBHOUSE!
HUH?
COME UP HERE AND MAKE US.
HEE-HEE! HA HA!
STEADY THE POLE, ED.
GOT IT, EDDY.
THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
I DON'T LIKE THIS, EDDY.
AREN'T THEY CUTE?
SHOULD'VE THOUGH
OF THIS BEFORE.
HUH-HUH!
I THINK THEY'RE TRYING
TO SWEET-TALK US, GIRLS.
SWEET NOTHING! THEY LOVE US!
THEY MUST BE SOAKED!
FINISH THEM, ED.
WE LOVE YOU, TOO, EDs!
[SPLAT!]
1, 2, 3, 4.
I THINK THAT WAS THE
LAST BALLOON, EDDY.
YOU'RE FINISHED NOW, KANKERS!
UH-OH!
I THINK I MISCOUNTED.
UH-OH.
[BOOM] YIY!
[LAUGHING]
UGH!
GRRR!
[BANG]
YOW!
ED, GIVE ME A BOOST!
AAAAHHH!!
WHOOPS.
SORRY ABOUT THAT, EDDY.
NICE SHOT, ED.
WHAT, NO FLOWERS?
[EDDY SCREAMING]
Eddy: NOOO!
NICE SHOT, MAY.
Eddy: AAAAHHH!
[CRASH]
Ed: EDDY!
HE FELL IN THIS DIRECTION.
EDDY, WHERE ARE YOU?
HE LOOKS UNCONSCIOUS.
HE DON'T LOOK TOO
GOOD, DOUBLE-D.
WAKE UP, EDDY!
STOP BEING UNCONSCIOUS NOW!
MAMA!
ED! ED!
I'M AWAKE!
YOU KNOW, IT WAS PRETTY
COOL FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.
IF WE COULD BUILD A CATAPULT,
WE COULD SHOOT PEOPLE
OUT OF IT FOR MONEY.
OW!
HOLD STILL.
HA HA HA!