Eerie, Indiana: The Other Dimension (1998) s01e04 Episode Script

1
I do solemnly swear that everything
I am about to tell you is true.
A spool of weirdness from
another dimension turned my
hometown into the center of
weirdness for the entire universe.
Don't believe me? Just watch.
Okay, I'll admit it.
Every now and then,
even a weird hunter needs
to spend a bit of quality
time with his folks.
Lately, it seemed like they were
always too busy, but today was my day.
They both said it, and
a promise is a promise.
Mitchell, breakfast is
on, time's wasting, son.
Of course, in Erie,
promises have as much
chance of jumping the
tracks as anything else.
Morning!
Morning!
Morning!
It's Saturday, all day.
We didn't forget about
this afternoon, did we?
Of course not.
All right, get my work finished here.
I'll have the whole afternoon off.
And it's down to Slaughter
Memorial Park, or a
little of that old Edward
Taylor, pitch and magic.
Dad, you're no pen and teller.
Well, been busy.
A little out of practice.
Don't worry, I didn't
forget our date either.
Two o'clock we meet to debug
your Teenage Candle Mutants game.
I've set aside three full hours, and I even
wrote some undocumented cheat codes.
Oh, and just so you
don't feel like I'm ignoring
you, I've saved one
full hour for insults.
Shall we say, indignities at six?
I thought all that
stopping to smell the roses
stuff was just made up by
some kind of nature lover.
At that point, how was I
supposed to know the truth?
How was I supposed to know
that worrying about wasting
time might lead to the end
of the world as we know it?
Ah, yes.
Mr. Fugit, I think it's time
we opened for business.
My friend Stanley and me
have a Saturday morning ritual.
We start our day down
at the world of stuff to
pick up the latest issue
of Captain Decay comics.
Some people don't see
the attraction in a superhero
whose only power is the
ability to make himself rot.
For Stanley and me, however, the
cap is Erie's version of Fine Literature.
So, another foray into the
action-packed world of Captain Decay, eh?
Ruler of rot, Prince of Putrescents,
Deacon of Decomposition.
You know about Captain Decay?
No, but I was a fan boy before
he was a little grease spot.
How come he gave up?
Time.
Haven't had time to read a comic in years.
Ah, and that, my friend, is why I am here.
Arm and templates.
Please to make your acquaintance.
Am I associate? The brilliant Dennis Fugit.
John.
What is that?
I thought you'd never ask.
That, my friend, is the Capé Zappé.
The fruit of ten years
of Mr. Fugit's artwork.
Ten long years.
A Java squirting beauty that
will revolutionize your business.
It's a coffee maker.
Coffee maker, he says.
A coffee maker.
Yes, but not just any
old coffee maker, sir. No.
You see, time was, when
you guzzled back a cup of Joe,
the only options you had
were cream and sugar.
But today, everyone's looking for
a latte this, latte that cappuccinos.
Turkish-Irish-Spanish-Coffee's
robust-Roman roast-reonune-es.
I mean, it makes your head swim.
The only problem is, who's got the time
to make all these fancy schmancy drinks?
Not me.
Of course not you.
Ready?
Behold!
A hundred and twenty-seven
different varieties,
and just the push of a button.
The finest beans from the highest
mountains to deep in the jungle.
Deep in the jungle.
No fuss.
No mess.
And most importantly, no wasted time.
Go ahead.
Try it.
All right?
Totally automatic.
Who?
Who?
Uh Hey, you.
You have a cup of coffee.
Oh.
On the house.
Thanks.
Uh, maybe I'll have Viennese
Dark Royale with a twist.
Sorry, I got to make work.
Wow.
That's some device you got there, Tempest.
Yes, indeed.
I mean, that guy was just hanging
around, wasting my time, and then poof.
Go on.
Come to think of it, there's a lot of
people coming here and just hanging around.
You know, doing that
thing where they look at stuff
and then take up my
time at the cash register.
You mean shopping?
Yeah.
Tempest, you had yourself a deal.
All right, sir.
Nobody ever accused Mr. Crawford
of being a business genius,
or any kind of genius for that matter.
But I had the feeling that Tempest was
interested in something more than coffee.
How could we know he was also looking
to serve up a double dose of cafe-weird?
Erie-style.
Mitchell, we're home.
Dad, are you okay?
Sure.
Just cuz he has.
He went down to a little stuff and checked
out Mr. Crawford's new coffee machine.
It's hot chocolate, too.
Yeah, I put some button and
whoosh down it comes so fast.
I tell you enough, I had
to have two workouts.
So, Dad, you ready to go
through the old ballroom?
Oh, I'm sorry.
And I just got so much work to do.
What happened all the time we put aside?
I don't know what happened to it.
Mom, you're still up for animal mutants.
Sorry, Hannah.
I just don't have the time.
But work?
But you promised.
I'm sure I'd be able to.
Just don't know where the time went.
I'll make up to you.
I'll have a little more time.
Here.
I suppose you're too busy as well.
Let me put it this way.
I've already turned down
three days today, Mitchell.
This is not a good sign.
Come on, insult me.
Do your worst.
I dare you.
Okay.
You're
Sorry.
Time's up.
Got to get back to work.
At that moment, somebody
more paranoid might
have thought that their parents
didn't want to spend time with them.
Me?
Well, to tell you the truth, I
was getting pretty paranoid.
Things called for a high
level conference with
me, Stanley, and a couple of black
cows down at the world and stuff.
What's that?
A room full of rat racers.
They're moving so fast, I'm seeing double.
Mr. Crawford?
That's what she said.
What'd you dare tell her?
I'm mad at you.
I'm mad at you.
Can't even tell you.
No.
Stop, no!
I'm not mad at you.
I'm mad at you.
Excuse me, please, I'm on a hurry.
Ah!
Young Mitchell Taylor.
So, what do you think of the tan?
I think I'm moving towards the MOCA range.
Since when do you're a sun tan?
Well that's the deal.
Yeah, tempers guaranteed me lots of time.
All of the different kind
of activities I wanted to do.
Like oh painting
jinx up puzzles stand
collecting. I may even
try my hand at fly phasing.
Ten o'clock to a clock ten o'clock.
Doesn't it worry you that
everyone who drinks coffee from that
coffee machine seems to be moving
somewhere near the speed of light?
Well now that you mentioned it, uh, no.
This is the most recent
quite I've had in ages.
Now if you'll kind of step out of the
light gentlemen, I have some ways.
The The cafe zape was
supposed to save people time
But as far as I could see
nobody who used it had any time
left at all the whole world was
moving at escape velocity and
Stanley and me were just
trying to stay out of the way.
Thought we'd never make it The
way Mrs. Inwright was coming at us with
that shopping cart and
thought we were gone.
But I want to know is how
does the dumb coffee machine
speed up the whole entire
town hello there friends
How many times have
you said to yourself gee?
I wish I could take a vacation, but where
am I gonna find those two extra weeks?
Well, that's why so many happy
customers come to cronies limited.
Whether you're looking for a
month a week a weekend or just a few
hours get yourself down
to our showroom and treat
yourself to that time
You'll thank me believe me
And if you act quickly will not only
throw in an extra hour of daylight
savings, but we'll also throw in
a free five-minute coffee break.
Coffee I.
How come he's got all this time
to sell and nobody else has any.
Maybe we'll think better on a full Sunday.
My parents had been back to
Crawford store for more coffee.
They were now firmly positioned in the ranks
of the fourth dimensionally challenged.
Sorry guys, don't have your darling.
Oh, no, I'm already behind my work
I'm just gonna get
myself a coffee and don't
do it. Stop the world.
It's not for a coffee
We say we're still some more time
great. You know to say more time.
Take our work there mom dad.
You have to stop drinking that coffee.
You don't know what
tempest is doing to you. Love
the same listen. We
just thought of the time.
Things were becoming
blindingly clear if I was ever
going to spend quality
time with my family again
Me and Stanley would have to
deal with whatever was going down to
the world of stuff and the worst
part we were running out of time.
Imagine if you will a world
where your essay was
through the moment it
was assigned excuse me.
Imagine a world where
everyone was late even
before they thought
about going somewhere.
Imagine a world where no
one had even one free second.
Imagine the world of stuff.
Look at them fly.
Oh, man, Rankin's gonna
be doing some pretty
big business after this
time at the shoe store
No one's gonna have
time to do any business
unless we can figure
out what tempest is up to.
See yep, he's at a time.
Mmm.
Our only hope but finding
out what tempest was up to
lay and following him back
to his base of operations.
It was a dangerous operation, but Stanley
and me our middle names are dangerous.
The games of what Dr. Stanley.
Here we are buddy tempest central.
What's in that thing anyway,
you know what I think I think the
reason nobody has any free time
is because tempest is stealing it.
And then selling it back
to people. We've got
to get in there and get
everyone's time back
I don't think they're just
gonna welcome us in with
open arms. Not unless we
have something they need.
Mitchell, we don't have any time for games.
No, but we have to make them think we do.
How wise purchase madam
now that time is money well spent.
Enjoy.
Well well well well well well
well well hello there boys.
How can I help you? Well that
depends on what you're selling time boys.
time.
You know boys I could
set you up with enough
time to take a whole
day off just to fool around.
And not miss a thing at school.
Aspect that wouldn't do much we
don't go to school you don't go to school.
What do you do then not
much of anything I guess
Yep, no school no jobs, I guess
you could say we're just killing time.
Killing time Of a lot of time to kill
heck yes, we got nothing but time
Yep, I think we got all
the time in the world.
Really?
Excuse me.
Cronus yes madam. Yes. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, hold on for a second.
Sounds like a really big order.
We'll have to take it on the back.
Boys you're going to have
to excuse us for a few minutes
in the meantime. Why don't
you make yourselves at home?
This machine here makes a
great cup of hot chocolate, why don't
you help yourselves to sum as
much as you want it's on the house.
Lady, are you out of your mind, no,
no, no, no, no, my time is valuable.
Look sister, you're not
going to make a serious
offer. I won't even
give you the time of day.
That's better now you're talking. Yes.
Yes.
The end of the week will
have robbed this town blind.
I'm glad we're seeing eye-to-eye.
Two days yes, and when
would you like delivery of those
two days two days and two
days two days and two days?
Oh The apparatus.
What are we supposed
to do now? We got to
figure out how to throw
this thing in reverse.
Well, it can't be much
harder than Campbell mutants.
Would you like those
days gift wrapped madam,
or would you like to
spend them yourself?
I'm not trying to be
nosy madam. However,
you spend your time
as a tiny you're a fair.
What about that one does.
There's only one way to find out.
You can't just deal people's
time who are you kidding?
Yes, I can I mean people
take time all the time
They steal it they wasted why
they even kill it you said so yourself.
Time is of the essence here now
look Everybody says time is money
What they forget is the other
part of the equation if you have
the money you can buy the
time time to do whatever you want.
Now, please get away
from that lever anyway.
What's free time all the
people would have just wasted
it. Yes. Yeah, but you told
them that you were saving time
Well, yes, but I did to say
for who maybe someone
forgot to read the fine print
on the bottom of the cups.
I'm getting away from that lever.
They're right there Stanley.
These guys are just in it for the money.
We are not I provide a service.
Now look when the
government gives a criminal ten
years. Where do you think
they get that time from boys?
You think it grows on
trees? No, I sell it to them
before they came to us
rush our was only 45 minutes
Yeah, but if they knew
what you did they wouldn't
buy time from you at all
wrong go mondo short stuff
Because what we're all about
is quality. Anybody can sell
you a bad time, but us
will sell you a good time
in fact We'll guarantee
you the time of your life
And then what happens
to my family and all the
other people when
you've taken all their time.
Well, I think that's kind of obvious.
Boof they'll meet their maker
just like the guy at the world of stuff.
Smart boy, you'll never get away
with this They have the time to listen.
It's got a point.
With Tempest and Fugit stuck
in overtime our next job was
to get those stolen hours
back to their rightful owners.
But fast.
All right, just need to.
Listen here a couple more
adjustments and we should be able to
reverse it and get everyone's
time back. You know, it's funny.
I had all that free time.
I didn't really enjoy myself at all.
Retail just isn't the same
about customers to deal with.
Who knew?
Danny, I'll be happy to get rid of
this thing. It does it better rip sound.
Excuse me, can I pay for this please?
You look to my ears.
We did it Mitch we saved Erie
from going poop we did it just in time.
As for my family, well, they got all their
time back. Maybe I should get to work. Oh.
Lots of time maybe I'll take a nap truth
be told. I think they got a bit extra, too.
Mitch, what about you and
me head out to the park and
toss around that baseball,
huh? I'll just get my plug.
How about that? I'm not complaining.
You might ask me what I learned from
dealing with Mr. Tempest. I guess just stuff
I should have already known
that there are always people
ready to take up your time if
you let them in a lot of places
That can be a real inconvenience in Erie.
It can be fatal.
Excuse me could you spare a minute?
You.