Fangavaktin (2009) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Access to pool table
is as follows:
Hallway 3A on Tuesdays
between 18:00 and 21:00.
Pool table not available on
Thursdays due to AA meetings.
From the prisoner's
information pamphlet
Hello, this is Ólafur
from Plus Houses.
Hi, where are you?
- Sorry about the delay,
but I've been in
over my head.
Are you at the house?
- I've been here for 30 minutes.
It's one of those houses
that pretty much shows itself.
What is this shit?
I want to see the house.
The owner doesn't want
people inside his house
as the parquet is very
expensive and such,
he wouldn't even give
me the keys.
He refused to give you
the keys to the house?
You can peek in
through the windows.
There are also good
photos at plushouse.is.
Your lawyer is here.
"Yes hello."
"We need to talk about it?"
"Is your daddy with you?"
"What don't you understand?"
"He's a former work colleague,
are you down with the Downs?"
"I'm not going to prison
any more than you are."
This is nonsense. Then
you ask the judge
whether his parents
were siblings.
I didn't know what to say.
- The prosecution wanted you
behind bars for 2 years, but
I got it down to 6 months.
6 months? That won't work.
- That's a pretty good deal.
You're on probation for
attempting an armed robbery.
That was Georg's fault!
That screwed we over but good.
I'm swamped in work and
people are counting on me.
I'm supposed to be in
Skipholt to show a fat.
This man is missing
more than a few pages.
I'm not going to prison!
I'm a realtor!
Meat? I don't eat meat.
I'm not a carnivore.
Where do you get proteins?
- From soy foods, and nuts.
I like you much better
already than Guðjón.
Friðjón-He was a man that
was unqualifed for his job.
He also had a really
bothersome speech impediment
that made all communications
wth him nearly impossible.
I had to fnish all
of his sentences for him.
I want to thank you for
a pleasant introduction.
Likewise. Farewell.
You get full honors.
Sweep into the corners!
- I am doing the corners!
Watch it, it's real
lilellinoleum there.
And use a genuine wax.
And do a good job.
This is our common
property and I don't
want it ruined by you
using Þjarkur, get it?
yes
What time do I fnish?
Each inmate has
Yeah. I'll go check. Relax.
When is Fúsi supposed
to be done waxing?
Every inmate has 6 hours
to complete his chores.
But he needs to be
elsewhere later today,
he may not be able to
fnish the job.
He has all day to do this.
And he's not to use Þjarkur.
We use that only for
steel and porcelain,
but on linoleum we don't
- Use bleach.
Or
- Þjarkur.
And no
Aaa
- Abrasive cleaners.
Where are Óskar and Ellert?
They're out in the yard.
You're so crazy, Georg!
Whatcha reading?
- Huh?
What are you reading?
Uhha book.
What?
Rght.
It is time to elect a new
chairman for Afstaða.
Ingvi wants to continue
serving as the chairman,
so if nobody runs against
him, he wns by default.
The chairman of Afstaða
must not violate any rules,
or he will lose the chairman
position instantly.
I assure you that I wll
adhere strictly to the rules.
And if Friðjón had actually
delivered a letter to you,
as he promised, then-
- Then there's your clothing.
It causes confusion.
- I choose what I want to wear.
To interfere in that is a
clear violation of my rights.
It's that kind of infexibility
that makes me shudder
to think of you as
the chairman of Afstaða.
I have here a small list of
rule violations observed by me
but missed by others. Brewing,
distribution of narcotics,
illegal usage of cellphones
and internet, just to name a few.
I am wlling to hand over this
list, along with future lists,
if you, in return, would show
a little leniency on this.
Is there a problem?
- Come wth us.
What's going on?
Biff!
Well, comrades. I offer you
to study my election agenda.
I have served important posts
throughout my lifetime,
ever since I was a young
paperboy with 6 subordinates.
And most recently as a
hotel manager.
Wasn't it there where
you killed that woman?
Anyway, I'm counting
on your support.
What's this?
- It's just a men's fragrant.
They're clean.
- Are you joking here?
Why have you cut the soles?
Are you off your rocker?
It's the only Buffalo
pair in this size in Iceland!
That brand has been used
to smuggle in narcotics.
There are no drugs in these!
I could have told you that!
You can still wear them.
- They've lost their charm.
Is everybody in here
empty as a paper box?
- Don't give it to me.
- Stop whining.
Where's Georg?!?
- Wait, are you here?
Yeah, great isn't it?
Where's Georg?
Look at this, I've
been castrated here,
do we need to talk about it?
Georg!
Ólafur dear! Welcome!
Ólafur!
Assaulting a public servant!
I'll report this!
I'm a realtor!
I remind you of the
election party later today.
Daníel, can I have a word?
I need a small favor of you.
I'm in a right pickle.
I regret to ask this of you,
but I have no other choice.
Just name it.
- Can you keep this for me?
Until tonight.
- No. I'd rather not.
I've been working hard to
make you feel at home here.
I've been your friend.
Please do this for me.
Why can't you keep it?
- Someone reported me.
I'm being watched,
but nobody suspects you.
I'm very grateful for
all of your help,
but I don't want
any trouble.
Why don't you trust me?
You've always trusted me.
Hold out your hand.
Give it here.
Now don't look worried,
or you'll look suspicious.
It's so unfair, I'm
not supposed to be here!
I'm innocent,
it's all Georg's fault!
I'm fucking clean here!
- We were tipped off.
Is that so?
What's the matter.
Óskar, you know the rules.
- Come the fuck on,
it's always me you pick on.
Is it the long hair?
Hand it over.
- I don't have any drugs.
You know how this goes.
- Yeah, all too fucking well.
Hi!
This is Daníel.
Howdy, good to see you.
Ylfa keeps talking about you.
My goodness, how good it
is to see you.
We've been longing to meet you,
now that you're family.
Guff couldn't make it, he's
at a weightlifting tourney.
It's a qualifer
for the Olympics.
It's obvious where the boys
got their looks. All from Ylfa.
I'm messing with you.
But there is a small problem.
This paternity test.
It's expensive.
I just wanted to be certain.
- You could have just asked Ylfa.
She's no liar.
- Right.
Maybe you thought she was
some kind of mattress?
Nooo
A trampoline then?
Mom!
- We're still messing with you.
It's all in the past.
What matters now is the future.
What's most important now
is Ylfa and her happiness.
Of course, I want to shoulder
my responsibility.
Good, now it's time to settle
down and make more grandkids.
Ylfa said you two had already
started working on that.
Mom! Don't embarrass him.
- There there now.
What, are you feeling sick?
You look so pale. -I'm fne.
You look weak.
- I'm fne.
Isn't everybody treating
you well in here?
If you get into trouble,
then I know some guys.
You don't look like
the receiving type.
It's justit isn't
easy being in here.
- I'll pull a few strings,
make sure you're left alone.
I won't have my future
son-in-law picked on by goons.
Guys, we do not condone
harassment in here.
And the guards can't fght it
if you don't help us.
There is no harassment
being done on his hallway.
I am aware of one individual
here who has been harassed.
There are no winners in
harassement cases, only losers.
Somebody complained?
Who complained?
I won't name any names,
but mental violence and
harassment is nothing short
of a murder of the soul.
We don't want that here.
I have some mail here.
Does anyone know a
Ketill Máni Áslaugarson?
Anyone who? No one?
Stefán, could you
come in here for a second?
Fúsi. The phone.
What?
- Hand over the phone.
I don't have a phone.
- Do you want to be searched?
I don't have a phone.
- Hand over the phone.
Can I send a text message?
- No.
Good day, can I offer you
some light refreshments?
I have organic spelt bread,
and some organic hummus.
Now it's a matter of putting
your vote to its best use.
That was intended for
everyone here.
I got a letter.
It's from the
National Registry.
Your name change
has been approved.
The guard told me that.
Now your name is
Ketill Máni Áslaugarson.
Áslaugarson!
- Where is everybody?
Why is nobody coming to
the election party?
They really didn't want to.
- And why not?
It's 100% angora wool.
You know what that is?
- Yeah.
You don't boil this,
it must be washed by hand.
I don't want it wrinkled
and ruined back from the wash.
It costs ten times more than
you make in a week here.
Do you shoot hoops?
- No.
You do now. I need a player
since Biff is in isolation.
You have nothing better to do.
- I'm not a good player.
You can catch a ball, right?
Make sure you wear white.
It's very important.
- I'll fnd something.
Not something!
White, Daníel.
OK guys, there's no way we're
about to lose this game.
I'm not gonna let any of you
make me look bad here.
Bend down man!
You stay under the hoop.
Whenever the ball comes near,
I want you to tear into it. OK?
Now, Move 1: Hang back,
stay beyond the 3-point line
and when I'm open, pass to
me and swsh, 3 points.
Very similar. We
let the ball move around,
I pass to Daníel,
who'll pass back to me,
you screen me while I pass
them and boom, 2 points.
Not complex. Move 1
and Move 2. If they fail,
I'll come up wth something
and inform you in-feld.
Daníel, you must be hard.
No girls on my team.
OK, let's go.
Hands here.
Ready?
Aaaannnndd, gametime!
Move 2. Daníel, get in place.
Daníel, under the hoop!
What are you doing?
Damnit, must I do everything?
Take the shot!
Move it, bitch!
Has your pussy fastened
itself to the foor?!?
Here!
- Come on!
Kenneth!
Daníel, get a move on
- This looks like a fun game.
I'm in.
You want him on your team?
- Sure, whatever.
OK, you're on their team.
Let's play ball.
Hey, this is basketball,
you don't kick anything.
Pass the ball to me.
This isn't volleyball.
Hey! This is basketball.
- I know exactly what this is.
What are you doing?
What's wrong with you?
- He threw it in my face.
You're not playing volleyball!
- I play as I goddamn please!
Then just be outside.
- No, you!
I must have time to consider
my options wth the ball.
This is anarchism!
- Don't start crying.
Daníel, pass the ball!
- No, not to him!
Hey! Traveling!
Did you see that?
I scored a goal!
God damn bitch!
Passing to the wrong team.
You pathetic loser!
I scored a goal!
How long has he been at it?
Close to 30 minutes now.
I've never seen anything
like this before.
Have you ever had a
psych-evaluation?
Have I? Well, I'm valuable now.
No, have you been analyzed
by a shrink or psychiatrist?
Georg is a psychiatrist.
- Everything is Georg's fault?
Exactly. -Don't you think
you have done anything wrong?
Not to my knowledge.
But can't you get me out?
I can't be here without pay.
I have a Range Rover that I
need to pay off, and houses
that I need to sell.
You're not here wthout pay.
You get paid for working here.
Is it a large amount?
- Nah, about 10 grand a week.
But then I've yet to
pay the rent and stuff.
There's no rent to pay here.
It's jail.
Let me get this straight,
I get paid, and it's rent-free?
Yes, hello! Heaven is a place
on earth just outside the city!
30-minute drive and
you're at Hotelrelax.is!
Merry Christmas man!
No.
- What about this pair?
How do you see?
- Pretty well.
Those look good.
Name and cell number?
- Magnús, 203.
Name and cell number?
- Georg Bjarnfreðarson, 317.
Name and cell number?
Name and cell number?
- Ketill.
Good day.
It's obvious that someone
got something wrong.
This is a joyride.
It should be called a
health and spa resort.
All that's needed is a pool
and we're there.
Ólafur, this is a prison.
We're locked up in here.
Stop whining.
Do you have a vagina now?
Nice environment
and everybody's your friend.
Not everybody is
your friend.
Wait, is that a pool table?
Does it cost anything?
Say, here's an idea.
Could you be even more in
my way, so I can't shoot?
Are you a quarter to Downs?
I'm making a shot here.
Yes!
Did someone fart in here?
Do you play?
No.
It's not like it's a tax audit.
It's just balls and a stick.
We're not jacking a car here.
This needs softer movements.
You must come down from the
stratosphere to make the shot.
Flatten your palm.
Look down the cue stick.
Then take the shot when
you feel you're ready.
That was pretty good.
What's your name?
Þröstur Hjörtur.
Þröstur Hjörtur?
Were you supposed
to be both twins?
Hello there.
We've tallied the votes.
It was a clear result.
Ingvi stays on
as chairman.
YES!
How often were the
votes counted?-Once.
Only once? It's a rule that
all votes must be tallied
at least twice.
I demand a recount!
It was decisive.
- Decisive? How so?
It was 53 votes to 3.
- 53 to 3?!?
You never had a chance!
Man. United vs Crewe.
Fucking wrecked!
Face!
No use whining when the
ref has blown the whistle.
Boom!
Good one.
Want some?
Juicy Fruit.
Have you seen Die Hard 3?
- No.
I have it, if you'd like.
So, what's to eat?
There's no food for you.
Looks like fsh stew to me.
Have a seat.
Are you joking with this stew?
This is retardedly good.
Is a master chef hiding
under the table?
Homemade sausages are the
best food I can have.
- How's our brown friend doing?
- Huh, what?
The piece?
- Yeah. It's in my cell.
Goddamnit! Daníel!
Where's Daníel?
Daníel! You've ruined it!
What's wrong with you?!?
Are you retarded?!?
It's a collector's item!
- Leave the boy alone.
I am fully
responsible for this.
I felt that the shirt was
too wide to ft your size
and that color suits you much
better. Pink suits midgets
Rule violation!
What did you say?
- Rule violation!
Hey, I didn't do nothing,
it's all his fault!
Leave me alone!
Let me go!